and it's kind of like a, uh-- the remnants of the past somehow can be detected by seeing what is going on in somebody physically as well as their current emotionality. here therapist alan cohen works th deb as well as their current what are you aware of in your legsightow? it's kind of like ey're clutching. they're hoing their ground ok. now, if you were to let youlegs speak, rather than "they," "i"... uh-huh. speak as your legs all right. i'not too sure about this. wait ainute. not one more inch. let's see where we're going here. ok. ea a tool called the empty chair technique helps clients find within themselves

the influee of key people who have contributed to theirersonality and experience. so, for example, if someone is lling me about their mother and complaining to me about their moer, i might ha them visualize this mother in the chair tting opsite them and complain to the mother and heighten the expience of complai. see ifou can pay atntion to what feeling goes along with that. the fear comes up again. fear? mm-h. ok. "you're going to squash me," is theling that comes along thhat. ok. who's the "you"? who's ing to squash you? mom, you'r going to squash me. ok, so n we have a dialogue with mom. mm-hmm. , not mom in thachair. you stay right where you are. put mom in that ai

before you speak to her, let yourself see her. visualize her. ok. describe what you see. in gestalt trapy, we start with the present situation, and the present situation consists of what the pso presents as the patient and how they present themselves, so we're interested in the presenting of a problem. foexample, i'm feeling depressed or i'm thinking about changing my job or my marriage isn't working out or i'm lonely or whatever. but we're also interested in how the person presenen theelves. someone who presents him or herse as lonely and in the process of doing that is avoiding eye contact, is showing us not only that they're lonely,

but how they keep themselves lonel by avoing coact. mommy,his hurts. you're squashing me. i don't like this. hurts. does she hear you? no. no, she doesn't hear you. no. ok. now, come over here. now, could you be a mother who doesn't hear her daughter? mm-hmm. ok. speak as that mother. what's your-- what's your experience ashis mother? honey, i'll be with you in a little while. i've gothe turkey in the oven. i'm juggling fiv or six this right now. i have to get th done. have company comin it needs to get done.

ah. now, what's your reaction to this--to this little girl over here who's kind of asking for your attention when you're trying to do things? irritation and guilt. ok. we are looking to create new situations. were looking to provide for the person the possibility to become aware of h they maintain an old status quo and also to provide the opportunity to try out new experiences and behavior and therefore, to try out new ways of experiencing themselves and the world. so far thiprogram has concentrated on the differences between forms ofsychotherapy-- the psychodynamic, emphasizing gh so yealt with it just by tightening u and keeping it in? yeah. your father, i guess, would have approved of that,

did approve of it? thcognitive-behavial, emphasizing chan inhinking d behavior. at ee could you have tolyourself, then, instd of sin "what a i a well, i couljust be ary at which i usuay am anyway. e gestalt, emphasing pering t bod and its way of expressing emotions. what are you aware of in your legs right now it's kind ofike they're clutching. theye holding their ground. now, if you were to let youlegs speak, rather than "they," "i"... uh-huh. speak as your legs. in practice,owever, most present-day ychotherapists integrate their methos of doing therapy, often borrowing from orientations other than their own in order to meet the particular needs of their patients. so a behaviotherapist who is focusing on action

but sees that the patient really needs to experience more emotionally n use methods of gestaltherapy. the psychodynac therapist might choose to use coitiv or behavioral techniqu to encourage patients to act in new ways in its highest form, would think of it more-- as an integrative proa in ito differentorm, woulformofhepy,it to be able to lect from other for of therap somethinseeminy dictated by the se at hand. often an individual's relationship with soone el cocentral to the therapy so sometimes it makes sense to actually bring family members or sigficant others in the thera session. here, two actors using case histories of real people play wanda and harry jakes. wanda has already had sessions with the therapist. now for e rstime, they are meeting with the therapist as a couple.

i'm reallylad that you wanted to joins. what's going on? i don't know. you dot ha to look at me like that. like wha thiss at dot kn. you don' have to look at me li what? how did i lookt you? the real reason harry agreed to be here is because the other night-- we don't have to go into it it's foolish. telle what happened. it unbelieble. because i didn make-- thisime was the pork chops the way your mother want them, and i told you the reason why, which i usually don't, you musbeoing something to me, soe shld be here what?

[wan s] what happened the other night the pork chops? very, very frequently, couples will come in for trent coing at they don't communicate to each other, and what they ll then bring up are wheems t ver very trivial issues. the therapist in couplesork operates under the assumption that the disagement about this surface issue is really a reflection of an underlying theme or an underlying agenda that's hidden, so that there's a need to get to this hidden agenda and recognize that the trivial argument is really about something totally different. and typically, the hidden agendas involve two major issues in the vast majority of cases where there's couple problems-- the issues of control and the issues of love.

the issue of conol is, who's in charge? who's the active one? who's the passive one? who's telling who what to do? who's stepping on someby else's freedom? the issue of love is really the issue of the absence of lo. it's--you don't care about me. you don't pay enough attention to me. you're not concerned about my welfare. the pork chops may very well be, "you don't care about me. "hers somethin that i like, "a you don't care to do it, which means you don't love me." holong have we been married? which means you don'w long me." have you known how they're supposed to be made? it was a littlehing, not a big thing. it's the same thing over a over again. and besides which-- i mean really, termshow impoant is it with the pork s, what it really comes down to is...

it's everything. it doe't make any diffence. if it's not the porkhops, 's something els i think esntially mily thepy is a situati in which u e deinwith different individu as they combine a system. a faly does go tou stages of development, and you have to understand what stage of lopment th family's at. you have to understand how they are eitr enmeshed, orre ty in terms of being inttwined too much and they are not alling the members of the family to be their person? st l th t nice smooth. r pr at work i don't need to be made tfe that i'm under e sameind of pressure aho. and home should be a place

that is a good place to come to. emotion-free? ... unstressful. ok sometimes emotions can be ses. all right. so your wi has all these feelings inside of her, and she has emotions, and you find it difficult deal with them, and you feel sortf inadequate when she goes on crying. no. i don't feel inadequate. i don't ever really feel inadequate abouanything. what i feel, as i said, is confused. the least little thing can set her off, and i frankly don't know what it is. even today, as soon as i opened my mouth, the big sighing and the tears started,

and we're off and running again, and this is wh happens at home. wandand harry aren't a very uommon couple. wanda and harry a combination of an indidual-- the sort of obsessive-compulsive type of personality th everything has to be so and with an awful lot of structure and who is actually very attracted to feelings, but ve scared of them at the same time. on the other hand,anda has more hysterical features of the hysteca rsonality, d she'all emio and feelings. what was happening s probably what ara t two them to each otr is now puing them apart. as dr.ivas-vazqu pots out, sh mco th pe.ivas-vazqu try get, whathealls their urotic needs met. as one individl goes to indidual therapy now and they work thugh their neurotic needs,

they lose the need that they have for the other person. the relaonship might break because retiships are a balance-- often a neurotic balance, but neverthele a balance. so one of the complicating factors in dng couples work is that the focus is not solely on the communication orhe relionship, t there are personal issues that eh one s, and while the therapy is not trying to dl... terrib much with those pernal issues, it must recognize them. it must recognize that the limitations of how any individual reacts with a spouse is a function of their own personal limitatio, which might be the sject matter of individual therapy. that what dr. rivas-vazquez suggesd for harry. getshsees himings abt in a solo session.s, if perhaps could undersnd you better

so ian help her, e two of you could essentially understahat each other is all about, and what needs. she--whepeople are unhappy, we're talking about people not having otional needs being met. it an inngible in it's... a lot of tes le don't know at wl make tm happy. yeah. she wasn't toolear about exactl wh would make h happy, so that's something she has to figure t. perhaps ththree of us at a later date might be able to do that ybe. ok. at makesou happy? order. when evething about me is in order, then i can think clearly. it's like before i'm about to do an operation,

having erything laid out exactly the way it's supposed to be and having everybody in place and havi things done becausit's such a pcise... function that... and that should be carried over into everything. when my house, when everything i own, when the people in my life are... in order, then i can keep thinking clearly. it must be quite distressing to you, then, whenou see thisunt of emotion that are really lacking order. sort ouncomfortable. well, suppose emotions can be in order, also. ishat what.. although hryakes is beginning to open up, the gap between the jakeses is apparently very gat.

in addition to recomnding that they continue cos therapy, dr. rivas-vazquez will probably suggest that each continue in individual therapy, as well. if i trusted people, or you guys, eugh to talk through things while i'm working them o, it would probably make life easier. in the group setting, each person comes wi their own kindf problem, bugroup therysetting, offers oppornitys to discuss and work through common issues as well. also offers a safe atmospher to take risks in expressing in, to try out nehaviors, and to give aneceive honest fdback. in individual therapy, the relationsh between ent antherapist becomes ve important. in gro thera, it's t cohesion of the group that is parallel to at therapeutirelationsh. that the grou in that sense

becomes really an ideal living laboratory for people who are hing probms idealing th others, regardless of what ese problems a delores mccarthy, a social worker, leads this group session volving her actual clients, me of wh she alsoees indivially. one thing abt a p is you c sehoa client will act wh pele, indust po sit. it's real life for a client they'll get a sense of shari, not being alone. they don'tee difnt. theythey get sensef hopehari, not being alone. fr hearing other peopl gohrough situation particully peoe althssues wi other people, like relatnships. they can practice, maybe t their courage up talk about something that's frightening. someonwho'shy can be more open to get feedback from peers. those things work st in a group setting. i have that independent streak.

i don't want to risk giving up something to getel what would youisk here? i don't-- i't sure. i mean, i-- i don't know exactly, but there is some fear of losing control. . i-- i'm trying-- i esone of the big fears is that i'll become too dendent, that i have such a need to be dependent on people that if i start... ving you a concrete example i've talked aboujen in the pt, and 'rsort of involv again, but i elike i'm afraid that because she's one olet erms of beinop-- i can crin front of her. i can talk to her about anyt. i can tell her what i'm feeling at any moment.

i feelike i'm putting all my eggs in one basket. it's gng to beoo much for her to handle. i'm pulling myself back and saying, "stop. don't call her. she doesn't need your burdens." group therapy can be of various therapeutc orientations. in this group, deloremchy use a combination of approaches. my training is what would bcalled pshodynamic orchoanalyti theayhat i in thugio, buveeefluenc l bypeonal appres to ychology-- can ace bkere someby'choor. onf something'stk shou that be done. e puosofra o have n experienc with reapele i was thinng over the weekend. o have n experienc i wanted to aske you all a queson.

i felt liktwo different people most of e time-- st weei feltike-- i was ying th etioner is logical perso would any of you say i aclike two different people? do i ever... i'm curious ift's something i keep inside, and i worry about it melf, or do do it t outside? sometimes i use people reactnss mirrors to how i feel aboutyself, and i wonder. do you think you' shown those two le he? i'm not sure if i oversimpt and make it two separa people or if it's sometng i've created in my head and it's more of ee-flowing thing. i don't know if you've been two separate people more tn two dierent layers, becausi think ers a side of you that'very-- is a very good listener. u're vy emthetic. i thk you're very hpful, logica andational

anydy's ing about mething that going o then, i'll be honest with you, it surprises me. we talked about your apartment your work situatio ur partner and your old boyfriend. i really tug, my god, you're going through so much. surprised me that this was happening because you would talk about yo family-- because we all do here-- and you were so helpl and empathetic, anth kind of feel like i was surprised that y had all of these other ki of crises going on, because at's really what they are. they only seem to come out when they seem a little erelmingo you. right. that's what my life has been like in the las up of years. it's just slowly tten to a poinwhere-- eemed like as manageae.

then it became unmanageable. then i bece antic d crazed. that's whei ndered how m acting-- if i'm just keeping all this craziness inside. that's wt i wanted to know. i've been thinking about it. all of a sudden, when i said at, it became re to me th i see myself as two peopl you coented, which one of yomes here? i started wondering, does one of me come here? do you think jean'sescription mas sense? onsi it does makeisical. yeah. d thother csis. i felt like there one side that wanted to comt. it does most of the time. th'she s ve nevet out i don't really know how to do it. e imprsion i get is youe here, and you're always very rational and level. anthough you talk about the problems you're suffering,

it's like you've already put them at a distance. we're not experiencing them with you. sometimes i wonder if i'm experiencing them. most othe time. sometimes. what you bring here is a very calm, ration person. om what you're telling us, that's not how you are all the ti. you're not letting us in on the other side. i can certainly identify with that. i think all of us have read more of what's really there than maybe you've-- t expressed, but shown. but it makes me realize how controlled yoreally are. that'shat i'm afraid of. and because there are a lot of things going on-- i remember one time when you were describing your life, it rinded of a smp-- st lots of roots intertwining and twisting around.

the fact that you do hand all of is-- i have maybe moreonfidence our ability to control tm all you do. e thyou get especially in a group is aransference theroup, not exactly in the sense ofomody is like their father, ther, brother, but ki of trsference to the world. thway th see the group is how they e the world. one o's y or ful wl beearful aboubeing th way in the group. paul was saying, "i wt tohare me" because we've been talking about why heoesn't, how he keeps to himself and how that limits him. i feel like i've accomplished sething here and over the past year. but i'm really--i'm real tentative about it. you're afraid the ideas the group gives you won'stick with y?

yeah, that it'so new. sometimes after a great deal of talk, there are moments when the group falls silent and the therapis chooses not to intervene. there's ffert themeanin osilence,hen the group falls silent and one of my jobs ito read what the silence is. often when there is a silence in a gup, s roce formatn aro ofte nd timehere is a sito lett a gup, sotimeg n someinaway. t of tilence penking, istae, whop afrd?ence i sene silence a fearo go, to make what'sning be psonal tohe that

whenou were out urents and ying about the issue ofhem understanding what you do, i was thinkingut myself and my parents and whether they understand what i do and what i'm trying to do. i'm at a point ght now where i don't know whether they'll understand complely. there's one side of m trying to deal with that fact. thers another sidef at saying i may be going by them so quickly that i may not be th dependent any longer for them to understand . i don't know i you are over inow, youlldo ca that to whr yo paren rstandnot. i ill ca a lot. th's the part that's the most-- that i really am workg on nowith delores, is separating fr my mother, you know.

ve done it physically, annow i need to find a to put it in a good perspective emotional because i can't navite aund it. psychothapy is barely 1oo yes old. psychologists and researchs are continuay searching for the best thera r each psycpatient or cliensearchs thisfft to match erapist and orientation and setting with individual needs ll doubtless continue. ptioni performed by the national captioning stitute, inc. captio copyright 1991 alvin h. putter

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