ha ha, i understand. someone's seen the jewels from that house and she's been sent as an ambassador. i suppose they're for the signorina rosaura. she is your mistress? my mistress, signore. mm-hmm. you could be right. it depends on whether they suit her. oh, i'm sure they will. she's such a beautiful young lady. bravo. she's doing well for a procuress. tell me, how do i have to pay? in what connection? concerning the money. what money? aha, it's the jewels that are the attraction. so she's rich then, your mistress. well, she's a doctor's daughter. a doctor's daughter? why, yes. didn't you know that? tell me, is there no danger of the doctor saying something if he sees me in the house? he also wants you to come. good heavens. the whole family are in it. i don't want to land myself in trouble.

listen to me, my girl. tell your mistress i'll come another time. no, no, signore. she wants you to come at once. oh, master. here is signor zanetto. i am trying to persuade him to come into the house. come along now, signor zanetto. my daughter is waiting for you. i'd never have believed it. surely you don't want her to come down to the street, do you? shame on you. i will come in. oh, excellent, excellent. come then. you're sure i have your permission? sir, you are welcome at any time, day or night. open house at any time. well, signor zanetto, the door is thrown wide open. - for me only? - for you only. for nobody else at all? well, certain friends of the house, of course. naturally, of course. all right. i'll come. and i can come and go just as i please. just as you please. take off my clothes, make myself at home? well, certainly.

- have something to eat? - need you ask? i understand. after you, signore. signor zanetto, well, one word, if you please. he's wanting a tip. at your command. forgive the liberty, but pray tell me what beautiful little thing do you have in that little box? aha. the gentleman has seen the jewels. certain trifles, some bits of jewelry. oh, good, good. my daughter will be very pleased. what a scandalous doctor. enough. if she will be sensible, they will be hers. they certainly won't. [music] where the devil has that lunatic got to? i've been waiting an hour. and there's no sign of him. what an elegant little fellow.

tell me, beautiful maiden. are you acquainted with a certain signor zanetto bisognosi? certainly, i know him. you've actually seen him, here? of course. then will you be so kind as to tell me where he's gone? he went into that house. but who lives there? signorina rosaura, his fiancee. you know the signorina rosaura. very well. and her maid, do you know her? oh. if it's her you want, i am she. what? you are signorina colombina. i am colombina. - do you know who i am? - i have no idea. arlecchino-- - you, arlecchino. - me. - my husband. - my bride. - but you're nice. - but you're pretty. - what a lovely surprise. - what a relief. when did you arrive? ah, ah, ah, one thing at a time. let's go into the house. we can talk there. oh. i must have a word with my mistress first

before i take you into the house. stay there. i shall return immediately. yes, of course, my beautiful one. i really just couldn't be any happier. go away with you, you're poking fun of me. i'll make an honest girl of you. you will love me? yes. stop prolonging the agony. go on, in. i'm going, i'm going. he's really charming. whoo, fortune, i thank you. she's beautiful. she's the loveliest girl i've seen for years. what a risk i was taking. she might have had a squint, or no teeth. arlecchino, your luck's in. come on in. my mistress is delighted. [music]

not a sign of the lady. i suppose they think the longer they keep me waiting, the more i'll pay. they can't know they're dealing with tonino bisognosi. oh, there. where is everybody? at your service, signore. and who might you be? your house servant. is your mistress going to be obliging, or do i go? certainly, i'll fetch her at once. yes, i'm an old house servant here now, but i was once a good servant with the bisognosi family. what? you know me then? i knew your brother. your servant, signor zanetto. i am sorry to have kept you waiting. what a figure. what a face. he looks at me strangely. he must still be angry about the slap i gave him. pardon me if i have inconvenienced you.

not at all, mistress. pardon me, but i'm not sure whether you understand me. how are we to conduct ourselves? with regard to what? with regard to reciprocating our affection. you must speak to my father about that. ah, it's he who arranged it all. but of course. what a pernicious doctor. but suppose he comes in while we're alone, we won't be able to... able to what? ...to amuse ourselves a little. this will put her to the test. if i may be so bold, i have here some little jewels. may i say that they are at your service? oh, they are beautiful. you mean they are for me? if you wish, they will be yours. i accept with joy such a precious gift. and i will always cherish them as a first token of your love.

she didn't need much persuading. but is there no other way in which you wish to assure me of your devotion? she can't wait to get everything. well, i have here some money. you may have that as well, if you wish. oh, no, no, no. you must give that to my father. i do not have anything to do with money. oh, this is excellent. the daughter does the dirty work while the father holds the bank. please do as you wish. but you do not seem willing to give me what i ask. the devil. is it my shirt you want? here take it. no, no. i do not want your shirt nor your coat. i want you. me? here i am. the whole of me is yours. then we can do it today. now. right away if you wish. - i am ready. - i am more than ready. will you give me your hand? hand, feet, anything else you want. let us call two witnesses. what do you want two witnesses for? so that they will be present. present, at what? at our wedding.

wedding? here, hold on a minute. but you said that you were ready. ready, yes. but what's all the hurry for a wedding? oh, go away. go away. i can see that you would be making fun of me. perhaps in time i might go so far as marriage, but this facility at inviting people into the house. you are too changeable, signor zanetto. changeable? but that isn't true. this sort of thing needs thinking about. such an important decision mustn't be made hastily. one minute you're wanting to do it at once with no ceremony, and the next minute you won't even think it over. oh, well, if i have to make a decision here and now, i'd say that--no, no, i don't want you to get angry. will you please speak plainly? well, if you were to favor me-- oh. do not hope for any favors before the wedding. - none at all? - absolutely none. but the jewels? if that was your intention in giving them to me, keep them. i do not want them.

you are a most honest young lady. and it's a shame you have such a wicked father. how is my father wicked? well, do you think it's nothing to introduce a man into his home and put his daughter in danger of ruining herself? but he did that because you are my fiance. good heavens, but that isn't true. we've never even discussed such a thing. but didn't you arrange it by letter? no, signorina, most certainly not. he has very wickedly and cleverly deceived you. he knows i have a little money and so he entices me in here and uses your beauty to make a dishonest profit. signor zanetto, you are saying a very wicked thing. unfortunately, i am speaking the truth. but listen, you deserve a better le than this. don't be disheartened. take courage. if you love me, perhaps soon you may be my wife. you think if i had not thought that i were your fiancee, i would have spoken to you as i have done?

if you are playing a joke on me, then it is too cruel of you. was there ever a more modest daughter and a more wicked father? but there's beatrice. i gave her a promise and she ran away from home on my account. but where is she? ah! ah! don't. don't go. listen to me for just a moment. i ask only one thing and here i am at your feet. if you will only listen to me, you'll be glad of it. that little mouth is so beautiful. for you i have risked my life and my honor. - for me? - yes, for you. for you who i love more than life itself, for you who are never out of my thoughts. - you mean you love me? - yes, i love you. i adore you. you are my whole life. this is more like it, without any ceremonies or solemnities. come, relieve me of my misery.

willingly, signorina. what do you want me to do? give me your hand. both if you like. oh, her hand is so soft. it's like silk. tonino has found beatrice. i must find a way to put things right. and here is one who can serve as witness. this gentleman would be suitable? oh, yes. signor florindo, at last i have succeeded in finding my fiance. he is willing to give me his hand and we would like you to be a witness. yes, signore, a witness. first, be good enough to favor me with a word. ah, oh, willingly. don't go away. i shan't be long. what's all this about you and the signorina rosaura? signorina rosaura? my friend, haven't you been in that house there? yes, signore. but for what purpose, may i ask? to get engaged to be married to the doctor's daughter. but you want to marry the signorina beatrice. yes, signore. well, how can you when you've pledged your word to the signorina rosaura? oh. well, i'll marry both.

it doesn't matter. ready now? is this a joke? it is not. do you think i'm not capable of taking six of them in marriage? but good heavens, i mean, this isn't turkey. and you know as well i do you can only marry one. oh, well, i'll marry this one. - i'm coming. - you can't even do that. why not? because you've pledged your word to the doctor's daughter. you've given her your word. and if you break your word, they'll put you in prison. prison? oh, here's a fine how'd you do. it's all off. - what did you say? - i'm taking back my hand. - but i don't understand? - i'm sorry. i've never been to prison and i don't want to go there. why should you go to prison? i can't marry two of you. there's that doctor's daughter. i promised her so they'd put me in prison. goodbye. oh, unhappy me. my tonino has gone mad.

he speaks so strangely that i hardly know him. signorina beatrice, allow me to explain. he's fallen in love with the signorina rosaura, daughter of dr. balanzoni and has promised to marry her. oh, no, no. this cannot be true. only too true, i'm afraid. if tonino abandons me, i shall die. if tonino abandons you, here is florindo, ready to serve you. if tonino abandons you, here is one ready to avenge you. in me you will find a faithful lover. with me, you will find unbelievable happiness. i am of noble birth. illustrious blood runs in my veins. i'm not short of money. among my possessions are gold mines. i think you do not find my face too displeasing? you see in me the most handsome man in the world. signorina beatrice, pay no heed to this self-inflated buffoon. don't listen to this effeminate prig. he hasn't a penny to his name. what, beatrice here with two men? - speak, my beloved. - my beloved? open those lips, my beautiful one. my beautiful one? what is this? if tonino has deserted you, then he's a traitor. if tonino has abandoned you, he's an ungrateful swine. tonino is no traitor. tonino, by heaven, is no swine.

tonino has not abandoned beatrice. as for you, you two-faced hypocrite, you false friend, you miserable bag of wind... but the signorina rosaura? signorina rosaura? oh, oh, oh. hold your tongue, you empty dolt. you disclose my name? you tell everyone all about me? don't dare come near me, unless you want your belly riddled full of holes. - may i say-- - no, you may not say, you thick-skinned heap of bluff. i disarmed you once. next time, i'll cut your heart out. this lady is mine, and that's enough for both of you. so now you declare that i am yours? sshh. we must talk privately. come with me. [music] lily-livered lap dogs. mealy-mouthed braggarts. canting humbugs.

wind bags. my name is not florindo if i do not avenge myself. no one dare call me lelio again if i do not massacre that insolent buffoon. [music] ah, love. love is a wonderful thing. the moment i saw the signorina rosaura, i felt as though as i was burning all over, like a roasted chicken. i can't stay here without seeing her, without speaking to her. i will go and visit her again and see if i can arrange our marriage. why, signor zanetto. oh, most beautiful one. will you allow me to come into you? no, signore. my father does not wish it.

why not? because you said he procures me as a prostitute. how can you? as if i would ever say such a thing. aren't we to be married, to be husband and wife? please, let me come in. tonino is speaking to a young lady. we must listen. i love you so much that without you, i seem to be like a bird without a branch, like a gander without a goose, like a ram without a sheep, like a little pig without a little sow. oh, yes, my beloved darling. i love you and long to drown myself in the sea of your beauty. he's becoming odder than ever. why, you ungrateful, deceiving wretch. so this is what your promises mean? look at me, you villain. look me in the face if you have the heart to. no, you daren't. you haven't even the courage to face my scorn, perjurer. why tempt me to leave my father's house? why make me give up home and family?

go away. i'll never believe another word you say. i never want to see you again. come here. i will fetch the letter with which you've tried to deceive me. yes, look at her well, you cruel savage brute. and so to get back to what i was saying... pretending to say, you mean, you villain, you hypocrite. how could you say all those things to me when you had already promised to marry someone else? well, my answer is the same. no, no, no. i hate you. i despise you. wait, wait. i will go and get the letter you wrote my father asking him for my hand in marriage. one says deceiver, the other says villain. poor zanetto. i'm desperate. they're all against me. nobody wants me. i'll never be married. if i had a rope, i would hang myself, or a knife, i'd cut my throat. there isn't even a canal here to drown myself in. women.

here it is. here is the letter. well, would you believe it if the worthless wretch hasn't run away? oh, but here he is back again. you shameless beast. how dare you come near me again? go away. i'm not paying any attention to you. here's your letter. there. torn to bits, scattered to the wind. and i wish i could do the same to that shameless heart of yours. here it is. i found it at last, you villain. here's your letter, you cruel brute. and there, that's how i treat it. if only i could tear you to pieces as well, you nest of vipers. i've never written to rosaura, and i've certainly never been unfaithful to beatrice. they've both gone mad. i promise the signorina beatrice, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. i, tonino-- well, this one's mine all right.

a marriage between the virtuous young lady, signorina rosaura and signor zanetto. but i am not zanetto. could this zanetto be my brother who lives in bergamo? it could be. that servant brighella who keeps talking about my brother who lives in venice, he would know. [music] ho there! anyone at home? your servant, signore. i'm sorry, signore, but it is not possible for you to go in at the moment. why not? my mistress is having a fit of the vapors and my master is in a bad temper too. i advise you to go away quickly. but what have i done? i hear them complaining about you, but i have no idea why. tell me, friend, you knew my brother who lives in venice? certainly, i knew him. does he look like me? you're alike as two peas in a pod. and who would you say i was?

why, you're signor zanetto. who comes from? bergamo, to marry signorina rosaura. bravo. i see you know all. now i see all. certainly, i better go in. if i'm caught speaking to you, i'll be in trouble as well. - goodbye. - many thanks, friend. who would have believed it? my brother here in verona, and neither of us seen the other. oh, you should hear how that rosaura is carrying on. can't find things bad enough to say about the signore's letter, she makes me sick. why are you so upset? well, signore. it's all because of you. and just because i spoke up in your defense, she went for me like a wildcat. i pity her if it wasn't that i know who she really is. but isn't she the doctor's daughter? she's an orphan, that's what she is. she was found on the street by a pilgrim. i don't understand, why does the doctor say she's his daughter then? because he's an old rogue. he wants to make a fortune out of arranging a rich marriage for her.

i said that doctor was up to no good. tell me, this pilgrim. he found her on the road where four bandits had killed and robbed some travelers and let the baby alive by accident. he didn't even know her name. it was the doctor who called her rosaura. this is wonderful. it must be my sister, flaminia, who disappeared on the road to bergamo. what the devil is he saying to himself? tell me. was there a medallion with two little pictures among the baby's clothes? i seem to have heard mention of that. that will be all. it is my sister. what incredible luck. two brothers and a sister all here, all together. it's like the climax of a comedy. [music] signor pancrazio, i am in despair. death can be your only comfort then. i'm bursting to be married, but nobody wants me. you are not made for marriage.

then what can i do? i have the very thing for you. i've got him. i, also, in my youth, felt tormented like yourself. but with this powder, i have freed myself many times from the powerful urges of lust. one pinch of this powder will free you. then you would find yourself looking upon women with indifference, while they on the contrary, will begin to run after you. if only that could be. for the love of heavens, signor pancrazio, for charity's sake, give me a little of that powder. - take some of the powder. - oh, thank you, signore. bless you, signore. how we will laugh at these women. all running after me and me not giving a damn. ruthless, cruel as a lion. cool as a cucumber.

not caring a straw. good health. the deed is done. [makes sounds] what vile stuff. my stomach is burning. it's on fire. it's only the powder doing its work. if i want all the women to be desperately in love with me, i must endure it. ooh, how it will serve them right. i can't stand. i'm falling. i'm dying. [music] oh, well. if that's how it is, i'm off. back to bergamo.

aha. there you are, signorina beatrice. ah, the ghost of signor zanetto. he's not dead. he's alive. signor zanetto, you are alive. i am not zanetto. i am tonino bisognosi, his twin brother. [music] so you are my fiance? yes, indeed i am. but you, why did you tear up my letter? why did you treat me so? but why did you give me up for another? why did you make love to the signorina rosaura before my very eyes? the likeness between me and my brother

has caused a lot of fantastic things. but i am yours, and you are mine. that is certain. but signor zanetto, what about the promise you made me? i am not zanetto. zanetto, tonino, whichever you are. if you are not too proud to be related to me by marriage, you could still marry my daughter. this one will be richer still, because he'll inherit the other's money. oh, come now, doctor. i'm surprised at you. this is not your daughter. what? what was that you said? you see, i know all. i know all about the pilgrim, i know about everything. you gossiping little villain. tell me, doctor. the medallion you found amongst the baby's clothes, you have it still? he even knows about the medallion. no, i confess rosaura not to be my daughter but an unknown baby found by a pilgrim. but i have treated her as if she were my own daughter. this is flaminia, my sister.

now, i know the love i felt for you. it was the love of a sister for her brother. and for that same reason, did i love you. now, all my hope for beatrice is gone. no, you have ruined me. but how? i received an inheritance of 30,000 ducats for the upbringing of my only child, rosaura. the baby died, and i should have lost the inheritance. i decided to substitute an unknown baby for the dead rosaura, but it is still not too late for my nephew to dispossess me of the inheritance. but who is this nephew? a certain lelio. stop where you are, all of you. you see before you a desperate man. too late, signor lelio. what's done is done. - beatrice is to be my wife. - i will confound hell itself. i will convulse the entire universe. but why? because i am frantic with despair for love of beatrice.

there could be a remedy. such as what? marriage with the signorina rosaura, 15,000 ducats dowry and another 15,000 on the doctor's death. 30,000 ducats dowry? and the girl, do you not find her pleasing? ah, who wouldn't find her pleasing? 30,000 ducats reveal a most rare beauty. then we need say no more. it will be arranged. beatrice will be mine and rosaura... flaminia. ...flaminia will be signor lelio's. zanetto not dead? oh, i love the signorina rosaura. i cannot go on. [makes sounds] and so, everyone is happy. i cannot be, while overcome with grief that i should have betrayed our friendship.

you should indeed feel ashamed. yet i am sorry for you. you acted so through love and i shall be happy to have you as a friend again. and i swear it in the future, you will always find me your most faithful friend. come. let us go into the house then. with all my heart, i thank the good fortune that has given me both a sister and a bride, despite the many mishaps from so many people mistaking the identities of the venetian twins. this type of comedy, if it is to be successful, seeks to make us, the viewers, partners with the performer. the effectiveness of the partnership depends on our willingness to play along. carlo goldoni, writing in the 17th century, observed, "comedy was invented to correct vices and to hold folly up for ridicule."

and when the comedy of the ancients did this, the audience was pleased because each person saw in himself or in others the original of the character represented on the stage. this was a co-production of miami-dade community college and british broadcasting corporation, british open university. [music] captioning performed by aegis rapidtext hasyou look healthyd, "you and you feel fine, health"?

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