- are you ready, kids? all: aye, aye, captain! - i can't hear you. all: aye, aye, captain! - ♪ ohh... ♪ who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ♪ all: spongebob squarepants! - ♪ absorbent and yellow and porous is he ♪ all: spongebob squarepants! - ♪ if nautical nonsense be something you wish ♪ all: spongebob squarepants! - ♪ then drop on the deck and flop like a fish ♪ all: spongebob squarepants! - ready? all: spongebob squarepants! spongebob squarepants! spongebob squarepants! - spongebob squarepants! [laughing]

♪ [waves crashing] [upbeat ukulele music] ♪ - mr. krabs, what you doing? - oh, ahoy, spongebob. i was just using some old toothpaste i found to patch up this small hole in the wall. - good thing you didn't hire a professional to do that. - and why is that, mr. squidward? - because then you'd only get to repair it once. - so what flavor is it? - it--it's just a hole in the wall, boy. it doesn't have a flavor. - no, i mean the toothpaste! - oh! well, i think it's... - hey, look, mr. krabs. that small hole in the wall just became a medium-sized hole in the wall. - time to get out the dental floss. ha. - thanks again for taking us to the krusty krab, dad.

- yeah, mom never brings us here. - any time, kids. [tires screech] what the--? - careful now... - hey, you guys put in a drive-through. - we did? - great. i'll have three large krabby patties, krabby fries, a krabby kola, and two extra-large orders of krabby rings. is this toothpaste? - boy, i don't know how i think of this stuff, but i think i got a winner. we are puttin' in a drive-through. - a dri--oh! - sounds like a lot of extra work to me. - you mean for you. [cash register dings] - it'll cost you money. - oh, nonsense. we'll build it for free. - hi, mr. krabs. - ahoy, spongebob. what's with all the booty? - i got this microphone system, so we can hear what the customers order, this neat sign with a menu on it, and this colorful arrow so they'd know where to go. it even lights up. see? - well, that's great, spongebob, but i already got a bunch of stuff that's better-- a menu board made with old napkins and packing tape, a microphone i made with some rusty tin cans i found,

and this sign i made from an old noodle. - i don't get it, mr. krabs. how is this stuff better than the things i bought? - i'm sorry. what? - how is this stuff better? - because it was... free! - i'll have a medium fries, a large krabby patty, and a medium drink. - coming right up, sir. spongebob, i need a medium fries, large krabby patty, and a medium drink. - i'll have that ready in two shakes of a lamprey's tail. [laughs] that ought to fix it. thank you! come again! - yes, you like it right there, don't you? can i help you? [cash register dings] - a bill? what's this for? - it's for my dry cleaning. it seems as though your new drive-through window is a little on the challenged side.

size-wise, i mean. crash! - there. problem solved. - spongebob, two large, two medium. i hate my job. - excuse me, i'd like to place an order, please. - ahoy, squidward. - mr. krabs, i'm getting really tired of running back and forth. i find it both exhausting and time-consuming. oh, wonderful. peachy. now how am i supposed to get to spongebob so i can hand him these order tickets here? bash! - problem solved! - squidward, hi! - oh, it's days like this that make me wish i had gone to college. - now i'll be able to get a krabby patty the simplest way possible. [tires screech] by ordering one. [laughs] ahem. i would like to order one krabby patty, please.

uh, extra secret formula. hello? is this stupid thing on? - mr. squidward, any customers? - none that i can hear. - oh, here comes one now. - hey. hey! go around! go around! aah! - large krabby patty with fries, please. - with fries, got it. we'll have that right out to you, sir. - what? you're closed? yeah, now she tells me. - there you are, sir. the ketchup's in the b--what? did somebody order a krabby patty? nobody, huh? okay, i'll just toss it in the trash. [tires screeching] [all laughing] - i sure am in a jovial mood. how about you guys? - you bet, pearl. - oh, i'm feeling especially jovial. you know, being a teenager and all. - welcome to the krusty krab drive-through.

can i take your order? - hey, you guys, it sounds like that weird guy squidward. what do you say we play a prank on him? - ooh, sounds like a great idea to me-- being a teenager and all. two large krabby patties, please! with fries! [giggles] [pulse pounding] - aah! oh! i'm not faking it, you know. that really hurt. a lot. - a bill? and what is this for? - it's for my ear replacement surgery. we need a real microphone and speaker. - do you have any idea how much a real microphone and speaker cost? - how much? well, they cost as much as... as a... as a real microphone and speaker. crash! - oh, whoa. whoopsie! - hey! you delinquent. - now you'll have to replace it. - replace what? - the microphone.

- what, do i look like i'm made out of tin cans? - no, but that pile of tin cans over there is. - good thing we got you around to always point out the obvious. - good thing you're around to never notice the obvious. - sorry about that, dude. - well, that's nice. i'm still billing you for the damages. - one krabby meal. to go. - hand it on up here. - sure thing, larry. [groaning] - come on, bro. you can do it. - [groans] - or maybe not. - mr. krabs, i'm concerned. - oh? why, spongebob? - because i can't reach the window of larry the lobster's s.u.b. - yeah. well, there's a solution to every problem. [clattering] there. problem solved. [laughs, horns honking] hey, what's all the ruckerus about? whoa. - hey, what's the hold up?

- how long you gonna make us wait? - we've been waiting here for hours! - we're still waiting. in our driveway. - squidward! there's a line of customers out there a million miles long! - that's nice. that's interesting. - i guess i'll be retiring early after all! [laughs] - mr. eugene krabs? - yes? what? is this a--a--a ticket? - a ticket? [laughs] now why would i write you a ticket? huh? oh, i know. how about for turning the whole town into a parking lot? - but, officer, i, uh--i, uh--listen... - relax, man, that's just my order. i want two krabby patties and kelp fries to go. i don't wait in lines. - oh, sure! right. whew! ha-ha-ha. spongebob, can you get the kind officer two-- - krabby patties and kelp fries to go, sir? anything for our boys in blue. - here you go, officer. and thanks for being so understanding, if you know what i mean. no charge. - you're welcome. just hope the mayor doesn't find out about this mess.

he's the one you need to worry about. - [gulps] - mayor. - eugene krabs? - aah! mr. mayor! - the whole town is at a standstill because your drive-through is so slow. - well, don't you worry, mr. mayor. there's an answer for that, too. crash! there you go. see, now we got two drive-throughs, two lines, and i'll make money twice as fast. [laughs] - that should work perfectly. [horns honking] - okay, who had the double krabby patty with fries and extra chees--? - me! me! - right here! - spongebob, order up. - i'm on it. - hurry, spongebob. i've got 26 more orders. - [groans] 26 orders up! - no, no, no, not that window! the other one! - squidward, are you sure? these customers over here look really, really hungry. - hey, i want some food here! - come on! i can't believe... - and these ones don't? [honks horn] crash!

- hey, watch it, will ya? i just had this thing repainted! - and i just had this repainted. - i see you used the extra-glossy. - chum nuggets here! goin' fast. get 'em while they're cold. get 'em while they're runny. looks like krab's drive-through is really payin' off... for me! [evil laugh, tires screech] oh, no. not again. aah! - oh, darn it! now there's a line! - watch where you're going, old man! this is the second time! - i'm too old to wait in lines. - chum nuggets. get 'em before... my arm falls off. - [gasps] they're everywhere! - mr. krabs. - stay back. take squidward. not me! ooh. hi, squidward. - mr. krabs, we got to do something! the customers are mad with hunger! they're beginning to riot! - for once, he's right. - easy, boys. easy! don't you think you're both getting a little carried away?

i mean, i'd hardly call this a riot. right? [laughs] [glass shattering] okay. don't worry. i can solve this. more drive-throughs. more money! [rumbling] [all scream] [crunching] hey, is somebody eating potato chips? [crashing] - don't worry, mr. krabs. we can fix it. we might need to buy some more toothpaste, though. - [sobs]

just having a...s up to? we might need to buy some more toothpaste, though. ...super intense staring contest. sfx: awkward straw slurp ♪ i have acquired the cuties from the happy meals. team up the freshness of cuties with a teen titans go! toy in your mcdonald's happy meal. ♪

alright... big smile! sfx: camera flashes hey, honey! how'd it go? ♪ thanks, dad! mcdonald's happy meal. with fresh, delicious cuties.

honey, aren't we having friends ovi know [goat noise]e. i stole the other team's mascot for good luck. we need to wash this room. wash it? yeah, wash it with febreze. for all the things you can't wash, use febreze fabric refresher wow [inhales] it really smells great in here. dog barks and try pluggable febreze, with up to 4 times the freshness in one refill. pluggable febreze and fabric refresher [inhale + exhale mnemonic], two more ways to breathe happy

[surf music] ♪

- ♪ goin' on down to boating school ♪ ♪ boating school, boating school ♪ ♪ going on down to boating school ♪ ♪ la, la, la, mrs. puff [cheering] for me? well, on behalf of yours truly, i would like to thank each of you for such a wonderful and warm welcome. thank you. thank you, sir. - what'd i do? - ooh! mrs. puff, thank you most of all. - spongebob, that warm welcome wasn't for you. - it wasn't? - no. - well, then who was it for? - it was for him! [cheers and applause] [engine revving] [cheering] - [gasps] it's tony fast, the famous race-boat driver, and his first-born son, tony fast junior. - i can't believe it's him. oh!

- i can't believe that i'm in the presence of such big celebrities. - good luck on your first day of school, son. - yeah, whatever. - don't show off too much. show off just enough. [engine revs] [all coughing] [cheering] - hey, tony, jr., want to sign my lunch box? - want to sign my steering wheel? - want to sign my-- - hey! i was here first. - no, you weren't. i was. [blows whistle, breathing heavily] ahem. while tony junior is a student here, he will receive no special attention. he will be treated just like the rest of us--no exceptions. now, tony, report to the obstacle course where i will assess your abilities. - sure thing, teach. - hold it. not until you've signed my lunch box. [laughs] - go, tony junior, go! go, tony junior, go! hooray! - looks like it's my turn.

what goes around, comes around. over and out. hooray! - he is good. [gasps] if he's really that good, maybe there's a chance... just a chance... some of that could rub off on my most incorrigible student, spongebob squarepants. yes! - mrs. puff? - yes, spongebob? - what does "incorrigible" mean? - so you just want me to ride around with this dude for a while? - that's it. - whatever. let's roll! - it's nice to finally meet you, tony fast junior. [breathing heavily] - i said, "let's roll!" - okay, uh, roll, roll, roll. is there a button for that? uh, i know i know this. it's around here somewhere. i-- - just drive! - just driving. [tires squealing] aah! yow-ow-ow!

what do these dotted lines mean? - relax, man. you got to relax. - relax. relax? mrs. puff hasn't taught us that yet! - no, i mean just relax, man. - okay. just-relaxing, man. [groans] re--lax--ing. relaxing so hard! [groans] i can't relax! - no, no, no, not like that. you just got to let go. - let go? - be cool. - be cool? - be cool. - be cool. [surf music] ♪ cool... - not bad, dude. not bad. - [gasps] it's a miracle! - neptune be praised! - that went better than expected. oh, if tony junior can keep this up,

then spongebob might even graduate, and i'll be rid of him forever. forever! [laughs] forever! - okay, bro jangles, catch you... on the flip side. what the--? - mwah! - hey, tony junior! - yeah, what is it? can't ya see i'm walkin' here? - i can see that. and i'm eager to learn more from you. - "eager"? - yeah. - i can't teach you anything more at this square school. no offense, squarepants. - none taken. - well, if you really want to learn more, you can come by my house laters. - ooh, i'd be delighted to. [intercom beeps] - who is it? - spongebob squarepants. - who? - sponge...bob... square...pants.

tony fast junior! - guy from school! come on in. - nice place you got here, tony junior. - thanks. lived here all my life. my mom and dad are out. - oh. uh, what does that mean? - it means... you wanna see my dad's vintage speedboat collection? - oh, would i? - and he took first place in this beauty, surpassing speed records held by both frances baconskin junior and smitty "tailpipe" rotherma. - wow, they're so shiny. - pick your favorite. - my favorite? oh, i couldn't. - why, sure you can. what's the big-- - this one! - huh? the baytona classic. excellent choice. want to take her for a spin? - a spin? but we don't even have boating licenses! - you don't need a boating license for a raceboat, squarepants. - wow, tony junior, she handles like a dream. it's like i'm floating on air. - you're tellin' me! - are you sure you're comfortable with me driving, though?

i admit i am feeling a little nervous. - i wouldn't, if i were you. remember, it was your nerves that made us almost crash before. - ha-ha! my nerves. i almost forgot about-- my nerves! - hey! watch it! - sorry, sir! - just let go. whew. - "let go." got it! whee! - go faster, spongebob. - faster? - just let go. of the brakes! - if you say so! wheee! wheee! wheee! - now you're getting it. - whee--red light! - [girlish scream] real cool, squarepants. - thanks, t.f.j. - that's quite a fancy speedboat you got there. for a couple of squares! - what he said. [laughter] - thank you. and may i say how lovely your speedboat is, too, for a bunch of circles. and by "circles" i mean well-rounded individuals.

[laughs] - eh, wise guy, huh? well, then, how about you wise up to an unfriendly competition? right here, right now. - yeah! what he said. - "right here, right now." it's little short notice. i'll need to check my availability. let's see. right now. looks like i don't have anything scheduled for right now. therefore, i would like to accept your challenge. - yes! - however, certain safety concerns prevent me from doing so. therefore, i must decline. - squarepants, i can't believe what i'm hearing here. - i don't hear anything. - ugh. look, kid, being cool includes accepting this challenge. anything less would be an embarrassment. - i would never want to embarrass you, tony junior. therefore, i accept your challenge! - oh, it's on! - what he said! - do you mind? [engines revving]

ding! [engines roaring] - uh... - huh?! [chuckling] - what he said! - grrrrr. [fire whooshing] - sweet! instant tannage! - grrrr. - [cackling] [radio chatter] - we're winning! we're winning! [both chortling] - whoa! did you see that? that guy wasn't just going fast. both: he was going tony fast! [siren blaring] - huh? oh, no! the cops are after us! what are we gonna do? - what?

sorry, i couldn't hear you over that siren. - now there's a helicopter after us! - what's that? i couldn't hear you over that helicopter. - and in other news, son of racing legend tony fast is currently embroiled in a high-speed chase. it is rumored that the-- [zooming and sirens blaring] - what the-- - what are we gonna do? - tony junior, when i get my hands on you, i'm gonna-- - now your dad is after us! - sorry, i couldn't hear you. my-my dad is after us? what are we gonna do? - how should i know? he's your dad! - well, just remember my advice, okay? all you gotta do is "let go, be cool." [echoing] let go. be cool. - do you see where "letting go" has gotten us so far? huh? tony junior? [panting] - no. but i see where it's getting us next! - waaaaaaa! [crashing]

[bell ringing] - well, class, i regret to inform you that tony junior is no longer with us. [all gasp] he was transferred to another school. however, i think maybe tony junior taught us all a valuable lesson. - oh, oh, oh! never argue and drive? - close. the lesson is, "never let you drive."

on super bowl night, for two-plus hours of can't... bathroom break ...miss football and must-see commercials, we do... ...the unthinkable... we hold it until that halftime whistle...blows

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bot: calling all umis. team umizoomi! all: one, two, three, four. ♪ umi ♪ zoomi ♪ umi ♪ umizoomi, umizoomi bot: ♪ in a world that's not so far away ♪ all: ♪ umi city