ar enoh that ey can'tall us bk to do chores tight." iwas just more memories it thanou thin you kno y alws thought of that time, it was just a lot of work, but then when you look back now, you kn, it was probably some of the better times becausee spent souch timeogher then and st worng, milkg cows and ising yo family. th's what rm life . [cattle lowing] roker: i c remembemy mom always h a littlbook f you ow, evy year tt i was school,nd it alys said on tre, you ow, "whawould yolike to be?" a it alwa id, li, "firem liceman, docr," you ow and u were sposed toheck what youanted, a then the was a ank lineand thenhe uld alys wte in, "fmer," ani just ft that my wholeife was nd of, like, id out bore me,

developea busine plan, a i rrowed aew milli dollars toxpand myairy her [thrming] you kn, we wand use tenology. wanted be dern, sohat's wh i did so i2006, weuilt the rrt dairy at were now d in 200 that's en the wodwide ression hi i ought i was losi my fami lecy that grandfaer had started ck in e 1930 and myorld wasrumblinground . i was a pretty bad place, you kw, feeli that everybodknew my ory that wafailing.y life w just spiralng out ocontrol, and that when i t depreson real bad, ani went t

nurous thepists d unselorsnd docto trying get treaent for is, and i mean lot of fferent thapists and dtors. i st sh i cou run awabecause it such a rden on u toot feel lika failurand carron th family siness, is legacy tt you ha. what reay changemy life you kn, visualing my o funeral d seeingy kids the. that'what reay was rockottom for , you kn what i w puttingy kids throh becausi was su a low placin life,nd that' how i rned tngs arou, and th's how iulled mylf out of t depths that i w in. [bir chirping] stat yeah. leofaced a lo of challenges with farming. he loved farming, and when his

depression became so severe ere he wasospitalid, he didn't really thk it was that bad.e just kt going cause like a farmer, he says, "what's the option? you can't just not show up." you have to show up, and you took care of what had to be done for the day but deprsion inot goodit rain, anit raine and it ined andlooding,nd just, you know, we're on a dge top he, but itas so t, yocouldn'tet in anhere so bthe timeou plant, it was latewe muddein a lot o corn, we figud, "ok. 's goa get tter. it's gna get beer." well,arvest te cos, it's ill raing. he stouldn't e a y out anymore.

we had gotten a call from our neighbors. we had taken care of their mother, and she was in her 90s, and their estate was being settled. his dad always told him, "whenever adjoining land comes up, you have to buy it." you know, it's what he always told him. he said, "if that land ever goes for sale you have to buy it," because you never get an opportunity to buy land that connects to your farm. he's just like, "i think it's gonna be-- you know, i think maybe we'll talko the bank, d we shod be ablto mae get loan to pay fo th, and thboys wld you knowevenally buyt from us, and 'd worit out well, thatorning, startedaining again at nig. the ra had st nevertopped, d he's ke, "i c't." you knowhe coun't do ts ymore.e was ju like, "g, it juskeepraining, and i n't knowf it's jt his xiety, b i had hrd him gout that rning, a i had just hded

in t house t get ady to gto work,nd that when etn came ithat he had fnd him, at he ha ng himse in one our builngs, and just coul't belie that it actuly happed. he ju-- that w his thi attempt thenwas en he di... and sohen it's jusbeen ying to gure evething ou and ke the fargoing, and i d. with s life iurance, boughthe land, ye so his gacy liv

. it's wt he wand. hainsaw arts] grou for almt 9 mont now i've been cong up he usually by mysf becausmy fe is woing fullime. i ink the rst coup months, 3 months, 4 nths aft the fire, only sle 3 hours night oro, 4 may, and the wajust so ch to dond so much to arn abouinsuranc d e coun permitsnd meetgs and canup and disposalf toxic h and al the rious ings youave to go thrgh. it'seen taxi me peonally, d i knowy lack ogood hum and

siliencet times s had iteffect omy marrie d lationshs, frien. these nds wereasically re-resilnt when ropean americanfirst t here becausthey'd beeundergng prescred or naral burn om the nive amerans and/or lhtning f about evy 5 to 6ears. th was the fire return in this redwood forest, and a hundred years of smokey the bear suppressed all forest fires. that policy went on to the point that it was just creating-- every year they succsfully put out a fire was another year that more fuelas beingdded tohe bonfi. we're meers of

a noso-excluve club anyme and oni would t wish to inve anyonento, but it coming -- you kw, if doest comeo your hse yoll be evuated ouof it because it'somg close e of the days, it's onof the unrtunate thgs u're gna have live wi global imate chge and globalarming rlly star showing us what it can do. ane: we' very coerned about thupming firseason. itlso corrponds wi our ape harvt. last ar, we lost aot of gres to sme. 's hard work alyear jus toave itost to ske in 4 or 5 day the stress is vy

high, i think, for everyone here. i ink thatome peop are finitelyufferingome from whawe wouldall ptsd you just go on facebook, everyo's like,i see sme. i smell oke. whais that?" ere's lots otalk abo canceling fourth ojuly firewos celebrions. ople aresking, "w is th importa?" becau couldotentiallye daerous, sevyone is a ry heighned level althe time ato how fes start d how destating ey e, so, yh, the mtal-heal parts a hugeart of i jo: it's bn a lot fun learningow to gr high-d, pinot no and chaonnay, a m very bssed worng with some greatineries and winemakers or the la

20-ps years, but i ha to say,he last w ars, the are tim when i wonderow much nger i c ep dng this. these exa layers of unplanned events, it's takents toll, so i hope can sck it t. i lovehat i dobut it ds ar on yo it's interesng wn you, s ask how iortant t land is tme becau...

i'm 59 yrs oldand i' livein 3 plas, and ty've all beenight heron west de road,o it'sery much rt of myamily's story, m li. hopefull it' be a rt of kid'sife, tooin some for we're n sure t, but tremendo amount meang. maybellei try toive wate to t horses at are sll out here. i try to dthat t now i n't see y.

there's st a fewunning he anthe. "if y have hoes th brings in." thas what my grand used toay. like certain aces y go, youl sedeadrees, li, in a ne. i'veeen somef those, d i justhink to self, "is thatlobawarming?hat es at mean?my husba's alway talkg about , but i ally don't. leonar i see i you kno yogo out tre, and u see itand that what u ha to . you ha to feelt. you have to see . you ha to ell it. u ve to ve it. yohave ttouch itthis is ry, verymportantglobal warming.eople, ty kind o

n't wanto believin it st likwhat we alt with th the vus. i feelo sorry for these famies that st ved onesyou knowdue to is crazyhing thas among usi feel ssorry fomy wife. she lo her mom, her da her youngesister, r oldest brher. shes so strg as of today, s does evything ies toeep her mily listock inct. i thk she fes beer when e goes o

the and los after r pares' livesck what ey le for herthat is ry, you know, artwarmi to me, u ow, how e goes o there you knowand doeshat she s to do,ou know. maybel: i had ppe stu erythi when went tre to sit thembut somew my dad ught it,nd i didt want t se him, when heassed, i took erything off, and gave dad a h. that'shat i di to melf, but wasn't suppos to do tt. leonard:t's thstrengthhat she s. thas what kps the the mily goi, and --

maelle: wh i'm out here, can fe their srit. i c feel msister'sreath beuse she willlways beitting i thba of my c, and sh wod jokeith me, d i coul feel herreath the bacof med i real do fe their spirit, d it mak me happ anstrong o here. wn i t down a sta thinkinabout them, i co out herand then spend e whole y out he and eir housin back me, i want to keep it up as long as it can stand up and let it fall by itself. [winwhistlin i belongere. thas why th land ivery imptant to . it reases almy stresand my pai and it kes me strong again.

[birds squawking] [birds crping] statz: randy and i have known each other since school. we we to scho togethe we actuly went prom tother. a t of peoe in the commity knewf randy cause they haduild a n free stall. erything s good, d thenis depreion hit. roecker:hen i we throughy struggs in 2008, i felso alon that ere was body outhere toelp . nobody unrstood dression.t wasn't oto talk about it. waa stigmassociatewith it, and u're juskind of olatedand you ffer alo d i alwa said i ffered ale in sence becse it' li, nobodyi didn'tnow where too.

stz: to myusband, was embarrsing. he wou never let me tl anyonehat he w on medation orhat he w gog throug he was ways woied whatther peoe thoughof him, d i'm li "leo it's noifferent than--" i said"you wou talk everydy and tell yo sty if youreak your arm somhing else uld go ong, butou can'tell anyonehat, "y, i hava mental healtcrisis tt i trying figure t?" i mean, a lot opeop, it's an earrassment, an i'm li, "no. snd tall andwn it d say, "i'm gna get tough thi" roecker:o then i2018, th happed with on, bren's husbd, and tt set meack to whe i was imy own personaltruggles statz:hen leonassed aw hifuneral,nd randyried to

come, and healled meater anhe said, "yoknow, i reallyried, bu" he sai "i just coun't go. couldn't ," and said, "ts fi," and at's wn he td me tha he'sonna fige out someing. we' gonnao somethg. roecke that's y i stard is groupown athurch wn here, d i call up brdaand i sa, "you kw, we wod like to t togeth and do somethg like ts," and didn'tnow if iwas gonnbe too soonfter leohad ssed aw, and i dn't want push her in somethi like th but i nted to haveer volved. statz: iaid, "i n't knowf i'llalk, but will co," and was very nvous goi to e veryirst mting. ended upith 40 pple our rst meetg, andhey came fr everywhe. i mea the is a nd.

roecr: and tt was the beginng of thearmer anl network, so we got together, and there was a lot of tears shed at the first couple of meetings. i got a call last week from a farmer, and he wanted to know what the next step would be to get help for hinephew. stat there a so manyrises lis out the, buteople don't kn they'rehere. roker: wel the thi of it is, too, think tt... woma i went my firs meetinjust outf curiosy and just to kind of learn more. i thought, "we have to have ourselves a..." we were struggling ourselves about making a changout of dry faing. it st felt normal tme to noget up and to the rn rig away. i just wted to s what he therwas avaible fous. ce i fou out theesourc at a availab tfarmers, i ju really lt a cal like i c help otr ople lrn about this. roecke 800 suide-preveion nuer, i hathat magtic sticr stuck l over t

hous and when it com right down tit, i dot think d ev call itfirst ofll, i alwayshoughthat basilly they come antake youway d lock y up someace, and you ha thafear deedown that ty're gna comt you if y call th number. statz: becauselike, wi leon when whad to cl, they ok hiaway in e car, a he just lked at m "i'm noa crinal. whdo i havto be handcued and p in a ca" t it's ptocol keep th offirs safe they'ren the vehie with tm, and s theye channg that at now theyave a cris tm th es to th-and they don't handcuff them, and ty talk themhrough it and gethem to safe pla. harm it didn start o with thname fmer angenetwork. u ow, it w a meeti on farm suide and fmer stre. aftethe firswinter o meetings, we kind of recognid at that'really n that inting to ople to me in d to seehelpactual, i thini can take aittle creditor develing the me farm angel nwork. weust ally fel "how cawe

suppt peop in a wathat is assumi, not inusive in eir live" and i ink if wcan helpave one rson's fe by having the information available them, t thr loved es that e supporng them, think we've ne a vergood dee atz: i'm hopinthat wcan help peoe find tir joy a realize,hey, may it isn' bad. i n get thugh this and i'vheard th from peop that ha come tohose meetgs, you ow, "i jus need to talk to somee,and ce they rbalize and let it out, ey're li, "it's gonna ok." this is l the neland thai

ught aft leon hapassed ay. i do a lot othinking afr leon psed awayi drive out he a lotit's jus aceful, d it's butiful ye-round. matter en you comeack here, 's a ver calmlace tcome to. mean, i can ut the mor off, d you'llee. it ijust peaful out here, and you just hear the wind, and it's-- this is what i lov [beze bling] john: re in thunited ates, wee such aig country at sometes you n't real understd what other locacommunities are faced with. i remember reading about some of these

organizatis that he arted up to lp. i thk those e rely good ograms, d hofully, ty are heing those rmers gethrough ose diffult time dian i thinkt would heful if tre were re pele to he out witthe emional stss and t caring r othepeople. roecker: do enjoproducina qualitproduct r not ly americs, butll over e world, a, you kn, my mil ge turned to cheesand butter a yogurt,o i enjo dog that, t it's jt, i stilstrugglevery dayith . i do. i stggle eve day witht. yeah. out: i soldier on. may not smile much as useto, but certnly, i'metting tthe int now ere the cleanup is starting to ap up anwe're starti to thinabout wh werebuild,nd that rt gis me hop and it'a much moreonstructe and crtive procesto rebui somethi

and toebuild aife hereit manot be wt it wasbut it'll beomethingew and differt, and itime ovethe nextecade orwo, ha work and swt equityit wi be someing we can be pud of, a we can y, hat's rs. we ruilt that," and hopelly, it' be, yoknow, if n firepro ateast firresilien onard: w as the ople have tknow whaenvironmt and howur land ould be utiled and ten care . maelle: weeed to dour prayertogethergain. it woulbe reallneat thave ra and snow and all th livestoc back agn. statz: is a hardife, but yet is a woerful li, and pele just ed to sethat we all ed that ttle bitf

treach setimes tmake it througand thathere'll betterays ahea i alwaysay. roecke it's a human coection. 's a famy story coection. 's a buness conction, sit enmpasses much ofho i am d what ie done. stat don't ge up. ke going beuse in t end, it worth iti mean, thiss your fa. this iyour legy, and hopelly, peoe realizyou didn't qt. that'what i know. don't qu.

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