announcer: funding for the kcet "fine cut" series is generously provided by the bridges larson foundation. ♪

aby cryi] 'onna: t first gt we receivfrom ouramily isur name. rdue: buthen, kala, or-- what--malar kamahl kamalamalala--i dot know. de'onna:ut not a names e embrac by sociy. dr. sario: pase, sir call me i wouldike to b called. at's how i identifd. man:t doesn'really mter. dr. rosao: it tters toe. de'onn names rresent o cultur originshistory, anidentity trump:arack huein obam rememberrush limugh uld alwa do thathe'd do arack huein obam" 'onna: more specifally, they fme who ware arand where wee going. woman: my name is lani ami

bahati. woman:y name ishiqui dominie willia. woman: my birth me is laanda shnteu jones. i legally changed my name in 2007 to naauhmocquaii richmond- jos, but is now naauocquaii binson-jes, and nicknamis mha for ort. de'onna: my name is de'onna young-stephens. originally de'onna, bui dropped the apostrophe and lowercased the capital "o" to be accepted. as i started to think about name, all these mories ca back ofy friendand peer ing throh simila experiens. i lt compeed to reh out to a few folks to see what they went through and how they handled what i would call "name shaming." and the more that i thought about this whole name shaming situation, the more i felt like every part of my identity had been attacked in some way, shape, or form.

my skin colohad beenttacked. the xture of my ha had bee attaed. the ze of myips and ighs hadeen attaed. the y that ialk had be attacke and i jt stted to gw tired. [kids shting] ♪ shiqta: i rember feeng kind olike an tcast for havi such wh, u know, at most ople wou consid a strge or complited name naauhmquaii: wl, growi up, i got lot of ricule. i got made fun of. i got cald sty nas. fulani: i don't even wt to tellou what ey used ca me. they ud to calme... naauhmocquai kids used to call me iguana, laguanda the iguana.

lizard. just horrible. fulanii had nodea wh that wo meant. i was elemeary. i walikewhat, 7 ars old. and i went d asd my sier, anwhen sheold me i s--i juscouldn believet. ♪ shiquita; "oh, i'morry. thought th was youname." "n you did n. you dinot think th was mname. you thout it wasunny and it's notute." auhmocaii: i ft ostrized. i lt like an ocast. i ju felout oflace sometime shiqui: by, li, high sool, pele startedaking jos about shuita or-cause it-- my ne is in ke a coue ofap lyric or namelike ne were de fun oin stanup comeds and stf like that. woman: so if wwere to on date ande were tgo on th first te, all righ and my name was shaqua and i id, "listen, like gu that makup rhymewith my name and like tl me likwhat the likebout me the poe just fm at they e," at would y do? i want thear theoem righ now.o. bacher numb 1, go.

man: squita, squita t your a in the r. aughter] denna: fm what ian recall, my firstegative perience with mname wasn elemenry school and taking an end-of-year test that came from the state. you had to write your name in these lile boxes a every time i spelled my name, myest was the only one returned and marked "invalid." man: we know from the periment evidence there ia negave stigmattachedo ving o of thescontempory black nas. so tre are lof diffent ys that rents sttegize about this. but at the ce of thi the estion sll remai is why are the names igmatize and en how dparents en internize thathen they'r thinkingf namingheir ildren?

d then, e next stage of ishow do cldren thselves thinabout thr very racializ namesnd do th ve a sen of embaassment abt themanting treclaim them t wantinto be knn by tha name bause of ereotypethat are tached tthose nas? naauhmocqa: i usedo joke ound anday that paren tossed e alphab upnd whater fellown, that's wt they ge , the letter that's why ised to je likeo kind of ke easmy n pain. ellei've beewith moc r a yearow. february4th de it year. naauocquaii:irst day we oicially w each oer. michel: it wasn naauocquaii: changedy name in 2007,nd it d take se adjustg, you kn, because i me i had rried thname lagnda for -some yes. wheneople we resing to ll me byy new na naauhmouaii, itind of li did somhing to . d so in der r me tlive

my trunew identity had to push thname lagnda out of mmind. wh the mai ca and miclle saw e mail anit had t name guanda o , she aumaticallasked, "well,ho is laanda?" ani looked at r like, h, d. i havto relivthis nightmarall overgain." mielle: shwouldn'tell me r real ne. naauhmquaii: bth name. michellebirth na. and i was--i w a little upse was like, "you d't care aboume. we sposed tonow erythingbout eacother. you n't evenhare witme your bir name?" i was rlly hurty at. auhmocquaii: ilasted aew eks, to honest, thback andorth, ba and foh, becau she kep pushg for to pronounce it because e saw itn the par, but shcouldn'tronouncet. and that, at rig there kd of likrehashedome of t old periencefrom whethe teachersouldn't onoue. sohe didn'understa why it was, le, menlly ing mething me.

en i finly decid to tell he it's like it s kind o li, i don'know, ki of like a ouof-body perienceecause it'sike i ha't said at now, i lerally h not spon that ne laguan in probly re than yrs. i obably h not spon that name. de'onn theay that changed thspellingf my fir name, i lo a little bit of melf. th"de" in 'onna cos from grandmoer debor, and th n" comesrom my gnddaddy ron. my nampaid home to theand the onlyeason i anged itas tolease pele actuallyon't kno shiquita: when i first moved to atlanta, i just needed a job. so ioved the and tn like a week otwo late i s workinat ndstrom. and whili was the this veo nt vir of th girl nad

sharkeis gettingn a figh woman: it s post earlier th week. a girl aacked by friend named shkeisha. e intern ickly to to the ique nam rodying with polar movi anmemes. aquita: know thigirl kne my ne was nosharkeis. and thisay, she pt pressg itnd calli me thatike,t was nny. d she wawhite. i had to get mean about it. like stop calling me that. you sound racist. es: yourame is ty. i want thear youay it. [gping] yourame isoby. you'reoing to arn to s ur nam t hear yosay it. at's youname? kuntkinte: kta. kua kinte. [wp cracks shuita: ouculture s lirally stpped awafrom us when wwere brought her so i't--

i derstandhy peopltry to come uwith somhi unique it els liket belos to them tron: we kw from, y, the rerds of blacvetens of thcivil war, many emancipated african-americans did change their names after the civil war, and so it's a really important process to understand. independent of a black naming ttern ishe way iwhich africaamericanwere namg thselves aer emancation anchangingheir nes after emcipation ♪ fulaniso, my pents areoth fromirmingha alabama they med to l. in the te senties. theyad one cld at thtime, my sisteebony. and athe time, my dad bame a muim. he w a parof the nion of isla so wn you're muslim,hey

wa you to the sla name and chan your na complety. malcm x: becse we'reaught the honable elih muhamm to wk aroundith thesnames and therore he teach us that during slavery, the same slave master who owned us put his last namon us to denote th we we his prerty. that en you s a negro today who's named johnso if you goack in h history you' find that he waonce-- his andfatheor one ohis forefaers was ned by ahite man who s named hnson. his namis bunchhis granather waowned by ite-- man: get theoint. maolm x: w named bch. man: wou you mintelling what yr fath's lasname wa maolm x: mfather dn't know his lastame. my fathegot his st name from h grandfaer, and s granather goit from s grandfher, whoot it fr the slavmaster. e real nes of r peopleere destyed dung avery. man: w there any line,ny point in the genealogy of your family when you did have to use the last name? and ifo, what s it? lcolm x: the lasname of my refatherwas take from tm when ty wererought to ameri and madslaves.

and thenhe name the avmaster w given, ich we resed. we ject that name today-- man: y mean, y won't en tell me whatour father's supposed last me was ogifted last namwas? lcolx: i nev acknowlge it whatsver. fulani: mom andy dad both chaed the first d last ne. my d's name s anthoncox. mom's ne was coet allan so once my dad became muslim, they were trying to just give him a na, and myad was like, "nop t me do my resrch and gure ouwhat i wt the na to be." hehanged h name toashid bahatiand theny motherher na is nassa bahatiand ssoma mes queen. so bahati is swahili, and it means good fortune. luck, fortune, one who's to see like positive things. so, yeah. [childn shouti]

y:ou want play gas with me? de'onna: after i changed the spelling of my name, i wondered if i was weak. i wonder why my teache felt thneed tembarrasme. i wonded if i s a foller. i woered why wanted fit ini just wonred so many dierent thgs. shuita: mywn dad, wh i start applng for cleges, tolme at i shod apply dominiq instd of as aquita, cause w worriedhat my applation uldn't btaken as riously th a namlike min and just rember ing like "why didou name this th?" it waso hard a depressg to e point ere i was ke, maybe is my ne, and iried to experiment wi it and e if putting "swilliamsinsteaof "shaita willms" or "m" insteaof shaqua would lp meecause s is like one those nes whereou can b a girlyou can a girl gu but it'just a rular name. sa

won: i'm not abo to hire you if your na is wata l'andrea. it'sust not nna happ. m not nna hireou. ll talki at once aughter] won: i wou be ch a beautil king kg quesha i'll he you guys know. trevonone of the most famous studies, we have aesume study which iave a blk name and i send it out to apply for a job. and you ght say to yourself, "well, i see this black name, and i might think that this pers is relavely unecated" this thnd thether. but rember, the reme has all of thether edence th you uld need to jusfy wheth or not ur mptions abt this pson wererue or n. d what wfind ithat the argnificantly lowecallback tes fothese black name it extes to oer areass well. we kw that tchers ha lower expectatns of blk children who havehese steotypical black name we alsknow thaprofesso are ss willing to lk about graduatechool totudents o ha theselack nes. soeven whewe have her

evidce for wch the na in itse shod not give us y informion, we sll see t stigmating fect of e name. shuita: when i fst start tting myoot into t industr i had-- luily i kn someone whoas tryi to get work onet. was alady workg as an assiant edit at the me, t i want to workn the camera dartmen so thiguy recoended mei sent my sume, anhe must ve rwarded the peoe in the offi. and at i didt know w, the pers lookingt my rese in the offi didn't ke my na and was ying to event me frometting hed becau he ma all the assumptns about my chacter bas on my ne. when iot thereit was s weird cause th were sur frndly to face, a it was esented just li casual coersati. "oh,hat's yo middle me?" d i to him, and didn't thintwice abt it.

i to him and kept itoving. the xt thingyou know everody on s is caing me minique. it was so frusating because i was like, did you really just ask for my middle name to chan it, would ma everybo else think myame is dinique insteaof shaquita? i was lking. so must ha been ing to t cara truckthe pers who stted it--t we croed paths and theyaid, "y, dinique and i stped. i sa, "my na is aquita. do n call meominique jt becausyou're n ok withy name. thnerve ofou." andt was anher blk person aftethat conversatiowith th person, it neverappeneagain, a i remember tling him "it'really s that yo of alleople wod be thene come--ce at me out th, to ce at me oumy name in ts way." he wn't tryi to be aully, t it wastill intnalized cism. muhammadli: why u want t say caius clay whenoward coll and erybody callinge muhamm ali? no why youot to behe one, of a people,ho's coled

to keesaying csius cla man: u..howardosell not thone whs gonnfight yo i am. hammad a: you'reaking it rely hard yourselnow. y don'you keepindistin] e scorinangle? why n't yocall mmy nam man? ♪ n: so, mname is jon ristophesowells- two firsnames, b i go jc. wheyou get ney, wer you thinking about like perception in society, anything like that, or you know, because i'm gonna kind of be talking about some of the decisions made to give us a better opportunity, you know, even how how you even chose mother, so... with a name like jon christopher in terms of advancing in this world as an african-american man, i do believe it gives me an unseen head start.

i' experieed it in businessorld apping for leases wre peoplperceivee to ba differt personnd they mt me in rson a they are shocd. peopleave madeemarks, u know, prably idvertely. aboubeing surised ifou kn, based my name i'm tually imy firstym now,nd this probably like thmaybe 10 or 12th space th i've trd to app for. wh i was alying foanother lotion, anher suit actuallyn the sa shoppin nter, wh i met t agent for thpropertyhe lookeup ke, "oh,ou're jon chriopher." "yea i'm jonhristoer." you knowand thatappens. you ow, i me, expect ito happe becaus you kno my namehen you lookt it on per, bed onhat 're usedo seeing john did, jo this,

that sous like protypicalhite malname. d last te i checd, am not ahite mal shiqui: i thini saved self some tuble by ing who am anauthentiabout whi am with my al name my resu, cause if thewere goi to diriminategainst seone beuse of tir name,'m sure thathey haother unnscious bies again black pple or ople ocolor. and someboddoesn't nt to accept me or oer a j because of my me, that not alace at i wt to banyway. ♪ tron: if y take soone from etern eure and yochange tir nam from plovsky tpalmerr to uls, themight beuch more likelyo pass asomeone o is of fnch orig or brith orig or somethers, o rman orin, for emple.

buan afric-america whis jacob arews istill going be by pnotype, like to assilate in the me degrethat somne who is wte wil i thinkeople w realizthat avoing the originaltigmization en ur name just en does t avoithe stigtizationhen yoshow up d are obrved by phenotypas someone w is not white. so the question isdo you wt them tknow thayou're bck asianeforthey meeyou or not?nd that now, i ink, the nequestionhat pele are aing en the coider nam. shiquitai like mname. i dot know w i cannoreally press li this de meaning bend why iike my ne. i ju do. ids shoung] rl: comeere, parr. naauhmocaii: i ft like t day th i legly got mpapers at i bece a new rson and ke i kinof rt oshed it,his olskin. it felt go. it actlly feltood.

en thougit took a whi toell her at my na from bih wasn'taauhmocqii, once i elained ito her wt i we throu as a chd, she unrstood a then shgets why i didn even wa to speak . that ki of madee feel go that shwas undetanding and cepting the ft that i was new pers. chelle: en i thi of moch and naauhmocquai itrings a ile to mface 'cause really ve the ne, and she ok like naauhmquaii. she lookike a moa. i realllove theame. i real love thna, and i e it mes her happy whei ca her nam she smis. so, at's allhat matts. fulani: lo that myarents didn't ge me a bic name. li, it's jt so beaiful. likei reallyove-- i love my whole me, litelly. fula amira bati. like, initialare fab. and it's so dope. yeah, i love my name now. de'onna: i'm graduating soon, and i've decided to change the

spelling of my first name on my gree bacto its oginal rm. i haven't se t apostphe or capita"o" in 1years,nd it finally els like'm home. my name is de'onnyoung-sthens. ni to meetou. ♪ [waves crashing] ♪

[static] [gasps] [wat running

[footsteps appaching] n: linda lind oh,y god. whatre you dng home? das here. man: know. lind no, no,et out of here. man: i c't. lia: yes, u can. here y go. go ywhere. ma i don'tave anywherelse to g [scrn door ons] woman:indistin]. i've misd you souch. but you cat be he. man: is ok, mo man:ook who me home.

[dogarking] yo mother s worrieabout u. lookt me. n't everisrespecme or leavthat waygain. rain whilelows] goo your rm. ♪

[footsps] [dr slams] [objecclatte to flr] humping d bumpin ♪ [door cles] [ftsteps aroaching woman:y, maria always cking andleaning, ver havi any fun maa: that'because m always cookinfor you.

man: ah,hen are you going move ouof this ace? we canelp. maria: tk to yr brothe not me. linda:ola, tia a: hola.ow are y? nda: bie tia: thas for yo help. my hband wilbe gratefulhile i'mway. mmmm. lia: w-whe are youoing? ti i'm goi to texato visiwith theamily. linda: i like too to tex. tia: o i'll beone for a whil texas ifar fromere. lia: but ian help. maa: no, n besides i need yr help wh rachel while work, anyou needo geto schoo tia:'ll e you wh i get ck. come o let's g stard. ♪ n: linda lind hi, tim. at are y doinhere?

tim: i was waiti for you nda: andhy is th? tim: ias wondeng if i uld rrow youhistory ok. lia: howome? tim: lost mi and i di't read e tests,o... lia: what out me? tim: you're smart. yoneed to udy. lia: sure.es. m: thank lind just gi it backo me atchool. ti or i cod alwayswing it by your use. linda: n school fine. m: can ialk you me? linda: se. ti how's erything ing in e servans class? linda:t's easy

mom? ♪ rain while bwing] [chiren laugng]

guel? [knockn door] a-are you ok? miguel: yeah. linda: w did youome backf you knewhat dad s gonna do tyou? guel: it hard outhere. linda: it's hard here, too. [door closes] i got to g miel: lind nda: yea

miguel: you eveleave, don't me back. rachel: nda, whaare you dog? linda:ust studng. rachelcan you t me a gss ofater? linda:eah.

ma why aret you ined? lind rachel want some war. [lht switcclicks] ater runng] [click rachel c wait.

nda: whyo you ma the cas,ad? n: to ke a livg and take ca of our mily. linda: a who taught you hoto dohat? you knowonce youark the card ey're ner the sa again. man: thas how i arn. lind graciaspapi. m gonna ke racheher wate

ma oneore thin boyallowed walk yo me or co a visit. corendes? linda: y, dad. maria: ma, time put tha away andelp with getting ur siste ready for dier. i'getting plate fomiguel. linda: o mom. chel: okmom! maria:h, and bthe way, i ed you thelp me th rachel tight. i goa late sft. ok? nda: mom ria: mm-m? lind don't y hate tang plat up to muel? ria: ion't wt to get io is again. linda: whaabout rael? maria:he's t little.

[train while blowi] [knocking] linda: who is it? tim: it's tim. linda:im? tim, wt are yodoing he? u can't here. m: i juswantedo see u and give you yr book back. lia: thankou. tim: canou talk r a seco? linda:k. tim: didou have good dayt scol today linda: yh, uh, iwas fine

[vehicleasses by tim:t's a ni night. nda: tha you foroming overbut i'm t allowe to havany boyfends ove not li that! tim: iind of le you. i nt to--iant to talko you mo often. [thumpinfootstep n: what e you dog here? ti i just me to rern a book borrowe sir. man: ginside. yore not aowed to me over.

go hom tim: y, sir. [lda breatng hard] lind rachel,ache rachel! rach, get upgo! go tmiguel'soom! go! [winchimes bwing] [gaspi]

rying]

[lin sniffs] [rging] [vehicleasses by

maa: nobodneeds tonow. [knock odoor]

tia: iot here soon as coul omen talking indtinctly] dot worry,k? i've t everythi set f her. how e you dog? lia: i'm goo tia: youave everhing, hm maa: ah, le you, ma. linda: it's okmom. maria,rying: l's go. ♪

[phone ringing]

[phone beeping] man: what was your mom like growg up? woman: she was not really present. woman:nd to th day, i don'really knowhe specics, exacy what hpened en i was. i kn that i uld see r do things. i remeer knowi that she was nervous out the lice finng

ou so i knethat whaver she wa dog was agnst the w. it was never like a doubt of like what if she was wrongfully convicted and she's, in fact, innocent. it w at the courthouse, once my mom was sentenced, and i remember wanting to calm her down as an 8-year-old. like i remembered thinking i was now alone and i was going be taking ce of mysf, but i somew knew tt i was nna be ok about it. when the judge was gonna decide my placement into foster home, he couldn't pronounce my last na. i remeer him not okg at me,nd i wondered if he knew i was 8 years old. i went thrgh when was 8, and i left when i was 18. so in those 10 years, i probably did abou20 homes. what i do remember is that you would not get a lot of notice. you would just come home one day

and all your stuff would be like, literally in trash bags. yowere tolthat, "tight, we're gonna send you to another house." and that was the tghest part i just remember being scared, noknowing ere i s going eep. i was huny, so i dn't kn what ki of od they re goingo have. i just memberverythin being different, obviously, and it was not my home, but they re telling me that that was gonna be where i was gonna be staying for the foreseeable future. i could look back now and say, "oh, yeah, the foster part was probably a little bit more peaceful," even though it was another set of unknowns, but at least that fear of the illegal activityas no loer there

was hard to fure out at ho meant uil i bece a mothernd i hady own chd d i had establi a home. d so nowome is wrever yo ar-ha ha-and whever i feelike at pce. if i didn't become a mom, i would feel like something was missing, and i would have regretted it. i didn't know how to parent. like i didn't have--most people have a mom that they could emulate. so for me, it was a very real realization that i didn't know what i was doing, but also that i wanted to just give my daughter

everything that i didn't have. i don't know if i if i knehow to bthere emotionally for you, but i ew how tbe the physically for you. when i was growing up, nobody knew wheri was. nody cared where i wa i think i overmpensatey wantinto ow everyinute whe you're at and maksure youe ok. if i wld get tak away fr you en once, would ner do again, atevert cost. i wouldn--it woun't be wth it. d so, fome when e kept dog it, anthen evenow i feelike she ill getslose to theine. d as a jge, i fe like i n't be part of that. and for me,t's easi to just staaway. think th for theost part i ha made myeace witit. i do el like i miss tt ing that never h.

[pho ringing woman, on recording: ...reach you, and you were not available. jourdan: no, no, no. woman, on recording: if you have any questions on your current ...account, please don't hesitate to contact us at 866-607-6006. thank you for calling. good-bye. ♪ [crack]

♪

[wind owing] ♪

[sea gulls crying] [waves crashing]

♪

announcer: funding for the kcet "fine cut" series is generously provided by th■x■xoñéñéñéñéñéñéq

- i' probablembalmedclose te my wholcareer if i am grieng. - everody wantto do their n. i mean, need some you peopl - , not sced of ha work. just, it's aew thing -- - yeah, 's a neway ana new time. - [announcer]: major funding for reel south was provided by: etv endowment, the national endowment for the arts, center for asian-american media,