but what's never been written about is the accomplishments all these people made when they came home. like richard, he's the top fundraiser in the nation for the vfw children's home. and when you factor in that richard just got his v.a. disability claim, like, 20 years ago for injuries he sustained in 1945. never stopped richard. - thank you and god bless. girl: thank you. - have a nice holiday. - thank you. - you, too. jeff: hello, ma'am! woman: hello. - well, i was in world war ii. - oh really? (woman and jeff laughing) - yeah. i've been in the american legion for 47 years. - thank you. - thank you, god bless. jeff: every year-- veterans' day, memorial day-- all over the country, they set up these little booths,

and in v.a. hospitals, people that are in long-term care there, they make these little guys. you guys want a buddy poppy? richard sells them for donations and they go to support the vfw children's home. richard: god bless. woman: bye and thank you. jeff: have a good one. - you, too. jeff: this also helps fund every v.a. and the american legion, veterans of foreign wars, and disabled american veterans. hello! - buddy poppies. helps the disabled vets. ♪ (birds chirping) maggie: which one are you gonna do? tracey: uh, the chicken one. i'm gonna move this outta the way. ali, you know you need to be moving and shaking.

there you go, good cat. tracey: so, maggie and i have had a lot going on. (chuckles) - i pronounce you married. (crowd cheering and applauding) tracey: maggie and i actually got married. i'm also in grad school now, studying for my masters of public administration at clemson. maggie: pour ginger sesame sauce to taste. salt and pepper. tracey: things are going good, but we found out that the department of veterans' affairs wouldn't see my wife as my dependent. ♪ they said, "we only recognize opposite-sex couples for benefits." it's frustrating that our marriage isn't as good as anyone else's marriage. ♪ maggie deserves it. she goes with me to my v.a. appointments. woman: thank you. tracey: to veterans' events. she is my family.

so why can't my country see the same thing? maggie: not too bad. ♪ it was a good one. - i thought so, too. ♪ tracey: in the military, they teach you, you know, if there's an obstacle there, you go over, around it, under, or through it. so, righnow, i have to fight for maggie. she's my wife. (people laughing and applauding) what i want tonight, what i want, a lot of people know i haven't been doing it that long, so it's... i wanna show 'em what i can do. like, and i want them to say afterwards, "wow, we didn't think you'd be that funny." i wanna do that tonight. i wanna make them laugh so hard. i want them to see what i can do! host: and your first comedian, affectionately known as the well-done comedian, mr. bobby henline. (music playing) (audience applauding and cheering)

woman: yay, bobby! - woo-hoo! bobby: you should see the other guy. (laughing, applauding) i'm a burn survivor. thank you, i've been extinguished for years. (laughing) that's right, my humvee got blown up by a roadside bomb four years ago today. (audience murmuring) bobby: four years ago, i thought my life was over, and today, i'm in vegas doing jokes. (audience laughing) what's going on here tonight, it's not just a comment, there's so much more to it. (sighs): there's so much more to it. (chuckles) but i learned something important that day and i wanna share it with you guys so you don't make the same mistake. see, 'cause the only thing i remember that day was having a cup of coffee and saying a prayer as we rolled out the gate. do not mumble when you're talking to god.

because i remember distinctly praying for a *beep* and a hummer! (laughing, applauding) (cheering and applauding) brad garrett: you're a comedian now, bobby! no more of that sympathy *beep*! (audience laughing) *beep* rolling with the big boys now. (cheering and applauding) making his vegas debut, bobby henline. (audience cheering) ♪ (birds chirping) ♪

♪ claude: my father, like others in his generation, never spoke much about his service. it is important for us to communalize, so that we need to create a safe space, so that we can then talk about our experiences. (bowl trilling) shawn: i have tattooed on me the memories i believe it would be wrong to forget. every scar represents a life taken by my trigger hand. the realization that i could have been one of them made it hard to continue without seeing my own family. ♪ (bowl trilling) my sister made me come.

i was busted on my motorcycle doing 140-plus. i was sentenced to 50 days. ed: i'm on my second marriage, and i now have a child that just turned one. and i can't continue... to live this way. um... it has to stop, because i don't want the effects i suffer from to get transfeed to him. and i think it's, you know, kind of a now or never in terms of wanting something to be a little different. you know, if there's a possibility for there to be a little more richness to the fabric, you know, i'd hate to leave it on the table. forgiving myself is the only way i'll be able to heal in time, and... but it's... it's tough. david:

♪ claude: 12 years ago, i started to facilitate veterans' retreats around the country to teach meditation and provide them with opportunities, tools, and things that can help them to live in a different relationship with how they've been affected by the violence in their lives. ♪ in truth, all of us have an opportunity to be instruments of healing throughout the world. and so that's what i live to do, you know. ♪ bobby: are we gonna need gas?

(woman laughing) (tattoo machine buzzing) bobby: life has been really good for us, and, you know, the future's looking great so many things have gone on. i got the nose done, just the mouth is a little straighter and everything, as far as surgeries go. we talk about still doing more surgeries on me. i've lost 30 pounds. i've been working at the comedy. i've gotten other shows, and, you know, i've gotten other speaking engagements, and i am involved with a lot of nonprofits that help veterans. woman: ooh, that was a challenge! (laughing) - bones popping out here and there! scars uneven. woman: oh, man.

bobby: kids are all older. (chuckles) dealing with two teenagers in high school now, and one back from college who's still trying to find her way through life, you know. connie's working, busy all the time. with everything going well, there's some of the downs and bumps that we've hit. (birds twittering) the anger. this is where it all started. i picked up this bench and just slammed it. boom, another explosion. i kicked a hole in the wall and... the kids were all here and we were barbecuing, having a good day, and then... i watched her leave that doorway there, "bye, dad," and that was it. after that, everything just went black, and i wanted to destroy something. i couldn't see straight, and just had to hit, break. i freaked out, i punched the refrigerator, like, five times. (stammering): i don't think i could ever hurt another person, i don't think. - right, but that's how it starts. - but that's where i need to communicate better,

to let people know around me, and other people around me, the family that know me, should see it. i can tell when you're agitated, but part of me gets agitated that you expect us to read your mind. so instead of everybody dealing and reading your mind, go get help. - okay, but, the help isn't gonna change that situation. - yeah, they're gonna teach you how to breathe. they're gonna teach you how to function. - okay, but that situation is still gonna happen. 'cause it's... they can't help you not get that way. - how do you know? - 'cause i've talked to other vets. i know previous-- i know issues. - that have gone to counseling? that have gone to counseling? - i've learned how to deal with it, and there's times... - that have gone to counseling? you even admitted i needed help on my secondary ptsb, ptsd, but you won't admit that you need help with your primary? bobby. just go get help! - you can't fix that. - that's the point. - that's my point, is, help is not gonna... that situations are still going to happen. that's not gonna change that. - this... this is what i'm saying. - i'm saying...

- there are so many of you guys... - it's not fixable. - ...that because you don't wanna commit suicide, you think that it's functional and you're going to find a way to deal, and you're miserable. - if you don't listen to me, i'm gonna wanna slit my throat. - i know, nobody wants to listen to one person all the time. my point is... you need help. bobby: levi, good boy! (dog barks) crazy dogs. (birds twittering) ♪ news announcer: an army veteran from california is suing the federal government because she and her wife are being denied military benefits granted to heterosexual couples... tracey: you stuck with me through a lot. this is the least i could do in fighting for you. joe levin: unfortunately, there is still discrimination against the brave men and women who serve our country.

that is why the southern poverty law center have filed a federal lawsuit on behalf of a veteran denied benefits based on the gender of her spouse. it seems unthinkable... tracey: a few months ago, i started looking into, okay, who could i go to? who could i reach out to? i did reach out to a private attorney who basically said... (laughs): "that's the law. there's nothing you can do about it." i said, "well, that's the wrong answer. (chuckling): so let me go somewhere else." reached out to a couple of veterans' service organizations, couple of other lgbt organizations, and i saw southern poverty law center. i saw they had an lgbt section. i said, "okay, let me call them." so, i called them, and that's what got the ball rolling. christine sun: tracey served our country with honor in two wars, operation enduring freedom and operation iraqi freedom. the v.a. has denied tracey and maggie important financial benefits, as well as the eventual right to be buried together in a national veterans' cemetery. ♪

tracey: when the case was actually put out in the media, and stuff like that, the trolls were just out there, just, you know, keyboard commandos. but ify case can make a difference in ving forward so no other veteran in a same-sex marriage is dealing with this at their time of need, then, yeah, we'll go ahead and put ourselves out there. it doesn't matter if you're army, navy, air force, marines, male or female. a bullet doesn't discriminate, so why should my country? ♪ (audience cheering and applauding) woman: bobby! whoo! - i am... i am a wounded warrior. (cheering and applauding) that's a little awkward. (audience laughing) usually only the taliban claps at that one. (audience laughing) maybe isis. (audience laughing)

i don't know if i can trust you guys anymore. (audience laughing) no, i don't if you guys ever noticed the difference between a veteran and a civilian. like, it's real easy when it's raining outside, because a civilian will run into walmart real fast trying not to get wet. but a veteran, they've been there and done that. they will stand in that rain all day! - yeah! holding their cardboard sign. (audience groaning) i know, i gotta be careful. if this comedy thing doesn't work out, i'll have to make my own sign. (audience laughing) no, um... i know you hear about ptsd all the time, post-traumatic stress disorder. i suffer from ptsd, and i have my issues. and it's kinda hard to explain what it is to people. you know, the visual scars are easy, but the internal ones, mental ones, it's hard to explain what that is. how we get irritable, and numb, and sometimes just mad for no reason at all. that's right, ptsd is just like pms. (audience laughing)

except ptsd is real. (audience groaning and laughing) last week, connie and i separated. we decided that we're going ahead and divorce. we're separated now, working it all out. ♪ i end up arguing with connie one night. i'd been drinking. but i got frustrated and i punched the wall and found a stud and broke my hand. so it's just now actually getting better. you can see, like, a little lump there. i've learned not to do that anymore. (chuckles) i mean, i had other meltdowns of being overwhelmed and shutting down, but i'm a stubborn vet that won't ask for help. "i got this, i'm gonna get through it. i'll make. i'll find my way." ♪ when i think back,

connie had to take care of me all that time. the kids lost their... both parents for a while there, while connie was taking care of me so much. it's hard to think about what, what they went through. i made these choices. i'm sorry i put them through that. claude: allow your breath to support you in just settling, the thoughts that can sometimes get going pretty fast. or the strong emotions that sometimes can arise. if this is happening, come back to the breath, and allow those thoughts to settle. please sit together for three cycles of breathing. (gong ringing) shawn: just sitting with myself, i can't. because sitting in that self-loathsome or, or... fear that i have, it scares me, and i... you don't wanna do it.

i did it. (chuckling): but you don't wanna do it. claude: what we're dealing with is real. combat training, and then the actual experience itself, has a debilitating effect on the emotional and psychological makeup that is part of who we are. it is unavoidable. something that claude says every day-- and it makes a world of difference to me-- "i'm not broken, i'm not defective. "the way i act is entirely consistent with somomebody who's had my experiences." ♪ claude: i invite you, through practice, to open yourself up to other possibilities of understanding what we have experienced. ♪ fred: i see these young guys from iraq and afghanistan, and i am so thankful that they're here now, getting help now, instead of waiting 40 years,

a divorce, alienated families, alienated children. they're here now. not just the breathing techniques, just more of everybody talking and saying that they basically have the same problems as i do. and it... it makes me feel that i'm not alone. ♪ shawn: i didn't know what to expect, honestly. thought i was coming to see a bunch of tree-huggers, and it turned out to be a lot different than that. ♪ brittany: what are you doing in there? just one. just one pretty girl. that's all we could handle. ♪ bobby: i would always talk about, to help me get through the dark side, was, my family's still here, i can see my kids grow up someday, i get to hold my grandchild. (addison babbling) bobby: and my mind just goes back to me coming through what i went through, and all that flashes through, and now my granddaughter's here, and boop, and the waterfall comes out the eyes. that's why i thought it was amazing that brittany had named her addison hope, when she was always adding hope to my fe.

tracey: we did it! i thought it was just gonna take longer. i thought there was gonna be more appeals. ♪ we're pretty psyched. we won. we won the case. ♪ same-sex couples will now be able to apply for benefits, have the same delays... (laughs) that any other veteran in the v.a. system has to go through. oh, man... we need to go out and drink! maggie: this thing that shouldn't have been an obstacle has been lifted. i'm so excited. (laughs) i just wanna celebrate. (laughing) it's just nice to know that it's not something that tra has to worry about. i know that was an extra burden that she felt. tracey: this is bigger than just us.

did you see our table? you wanna come over and look at it? this is about other veterans who are gonna be coming after us. jeff: hey, richard! we've got a surprise for you. steve: you're getting a present right now. - oh, god, thank you. see what they did for me? oh, boy. look at this. look at this. they just got me a car. man: congratulations. - god bless you. man: god bless you, sir. thank you for your service. - god bless all of you. - commander! how are you doing this morning? - fine, how are you? - good, good, thank you. happy veterans' day. - (inaudible) - it's good seeing you this morning. how are you doing? happy veterans' day. basically, everybody you see me hugging on today has done some amazing stuff in the veteran world, veteran space, in one way or another. get online. check us out. we provide one-on-one support. it's free. any veteran, any generation. and i started off as a volunteer.

i'm working with i.a.v.a. part-time now, so, you know, the sky's the limit. we're all doing amazing things out here in the community. (crowd cheering) - tracey tra! (applauding) richard: look at this. danny: you're ready to sail! - yeah. danny here he goes! it's all you, richard. - god bless you guys. tracey: happy veterans' day! you know, in the military, you're always taught you're working as a team. you don't leave someone behind. the reason i'm where i'm at today is because someone helped me to get to where i am. we're here on this earth to help each other out. we're not here to just, "oh, i got mine, the heck with you." it's, it's not about that. we're all connected in one way or another. ♪ claude: this is the area where my father and his family come from. ♪

there is no really coming home in a traditional way once you've been in combat. ♪ coming home is not this idea of coming home. it's waking up to the fact that my humanity is not something unique and separate-- that i am part of a larger interconnected whole. ♪ ♪ i would have liked to have had the opportunity to talk with my father. but when i came back from vietnam, my thoughts were about me. i didn't have the capacity yet to consider what he must have been going through. kenshin. here, this is my father here.

(chanting in foreign language) (bowl trilling) (chanting) ♪ (sniffling) (kisses headstone crying softly) ♪ (sniffling) ♪ (birds chirping) ♪

♪ ♪

del toro: funding for america reframed is provided by the corporation for public broadcasting and the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation. additional funding is provided by the wyncote foundation, the national endowment for the arts, the reva and david logan foundation, and the park foundation.