too farut far eugh that th can't call back too chores tight." iwas just more mories oft than y think. you know, you always thought of that time, it was just a lot of work, but then when you look back now, you kn, it was probably some of the better times becau we spent souch timeogher then and st worki, milkg cows d raisinyour famy. that what fa life is [cattle lowing] ecker: ian rememr my mom alys had aittle bo for you ow, ery yearhat i wa school,nd it alys said on tre, you ow, "whawould yolike tbe?" andt always id, like, "feman liceman,octor," u know anyou wereupposed check at you wted, andhen ther was a ank lineand th she would alysrite in, "farmer,and i ju felt th my who life wakind of, like, id out bore me,

developea busine plan, a i boowed a f millionollars toxpand myairy her [thrumming] you kn, we wand use tenology. wanted be modern, that's at i did so i2006, weuilt the rrt dairy at were now d in 200 that's en the wodwide ression hi i ought i was losi my fami lecy that grandfaer had started ck in e 1930 and myorld wasrumblinground . i was a pretty bad ple, you kw, feeli that everybodknew my ory that wafailing.y life w just spiralng out ocontrol,l, and that when i t depreson real bad, ani went t

numerousherapistan coselors a doctorsrying to get eatment r this, d i me a lot odifferen erapists and dtors. i st sh i cou run awabecause it such a rden on u not feel le a faile and cay on th family siness, is legacy tt you ha. what reay changemy life you kn, visualing my o funeral d seeingy kids there. thas what rlly was ro bottom r me, yoknow what was putng my ki rough beuse i wasuch a low ple in lif and thas hoi turn things ound, an that's h i pullemyself o of theeps that i wasn. [birds crping] statz: yh. leon fad a lot of challenges with farming. he

loved farming, and when his depression became so severe ere he w hospitazed, he didn't really thk it was that bad.e just kt going cause like a farmer, he says, "what's the option? you can't just not show up." you have to show up, and you took care of what had to be done for the day but deession inot goodit rain, anit raine and it ined andlooding,nd just, you knowwe're on a rie top herebut it was so t, you coul't get ianywhere soy the ti you plaed, it was la. we mudd in a lot of co, so we gured, ". it's goa get tter. it'sonna get tter." wl,arvest te cos, it's ill raing. he couldn'see a y out anymore.

we had gotten a call from our neighbors. we had taken care of their mother, and she was in her 90s, and their estate was being settled. his dad always told him, "whenever adjoining land comes up, you have to buy it." you know, it's what he always told him. he said, "if that land ever goes for sale you have to buy it," because you never get an opportunity to buy land that connects to your farm. he's just like, "i think it's gonna be-- you know, i think maybe we'll ta to the bankand we suld be ae to ybe get loan to y for th, and thboys wou you kn, eventuallyuy it fr us, anwe'd worit out well, thatorning, startedaining agaithat nht. the in had st nevertopped, d he's like, can't."ou knowhe coun't do ts ymore. hwas justike, "god, just keeps raining," and i don't know if it's just his anxiety, but i had heard him go out that morning, a i had just

hded in t house t get ady to gto work,nd that when etn came ithat he had fnd him, at he ha ng himse in one our builngs, and just codn't belve that tually hpened. hjust-- that w his thi attempt th, was en he di... and sohen it's jt been tryingo figureverythinout and ke the fargoing, and i d. withis lifensurancei boht the ld, ye so his gacy liv on. it what heanted.

hainsaw arts] grt: for aost 9 mohs now i've been cong up he usuay by mysf becae my fe is woing fullime. i ink the rst coup months, 3 nths4 monthsfter the fire, only sle 3 hours night so, 4 mbe, and ere wajust so ch to dond so much tlearn abt insurae and thcounty pmits and meings andleanup a dispal of toc ash anall the rious ings youave to go thrgh. it'seen taxi me peonally, d i knowy lack ogood humor and

resilice at tis has ha its effe on my mriage d lationshs, frien. these nds wereasically re-resilnt when ropean americanfirst gohere beuse they'd been unrgoing prcribed onatural bus from theative amicans and/or lhtning f about ery 5 to years. at was the fire return in this redwood forest, and a hundred years of smokey the bear suppressed all forest fires. that policy went on to the point that it was just creating-- every year they succesully put out a fire was another year that more fu was bei added tohe bonfi. we're memberof not-so-elusive

cb anyme and oni would t wish to inve anyonento, but it coming -- you kw, if doest come to yo house yoll be evuated ouof it because it'somg close e of ese daysso it's e of the unrtunate ings you're gonna he to livwith as glol climatchange a glal warmi really arts showing us what it can do. dian we're vy concerd out the upming firseason. it ao corresnds withur ape harvt. last ar, we lost aot of gres to sme. it hard toork all ar just have itost to ske in 4

or 5 day the stress is vy high, i think, for everyone here. i ink thatome peop are finitelyufferi some from wt we wou call pt. you just go on facebook, everyone like, "see smok i ell smok what ishat?" thers lots of ta about canceling fourth of ly fireworkcelebratns. ople aresking, hy is th importa?" becau it could pottily be ngerous,o eryone ion a veryeightenelevel l the times to howires sta and how devastatg they are, so,eah, theental-heth parts a hugeart of i jo: it's been a loof fun learningow to gr high-d, pinot no and chaonnay, a m very bssed worng with some greatineries and winemakers or the la

20-plus year but i ha to say,he last w ars, the are tim when i wonderow much nger i c ep doing thi ese extra layers of unplanned events, it's takents toll, so i hope i can sck it t. i lovehat i , but itoes ar on yo it's interesng wn you, s ask how iortant t land is tme becau...

i'm years o, and i' lived 3 place and theve all be right he on wes side roa so it'sery much part of my family's history, my li. hopefully, it'lle a partf my k's life,oo, in someorm. we' not se yet, t a tremdous amot of meing. maybel: i try give war the hors that a still t here. i y too that t now i n't see y.

there's st a fewunning he and there. " you havhorses th brings in." thas what grandpased to s. like certain aces y go, youl e dead trees, ke, in a line. ve seen me of the, d i justhink to self, "is th globawarming?hat es at mean?my husba's alway talkg about , but i ally don't. leonar i see i you kw, yogo out tre, and u see itand that what u ha to . you ha to feelt. you ha to see . you ha to ell it. u have to ve it. yohaveo touch . this is ve, very iortant, global rming.eople, ty kind o

n't wanto believin it st likwhat we alt with with theirus. i el so soy fothese milies tt lostloved on, you kn, due to is crazyhing thas among . i feel so sorrfor my we. shlost herom, hedad, her youngesister, r oldest brher. shes so strg as of today, s does evything tries keep hefamily's listock inct. i thk she feels tterhen she es out

ere and oks afteher pants' livtock whathey le for herthat is ry, you know, artwarmi to me, u kn, how e goes o there you knowand doeshat she s to do,ou know. maybel: i had ppe stu evything wn i we thereo vit them, t somehomy dad caughtt, and i didn't nt to loseim, so wn he pasd, i took erything off, and gave dad a h. that'shat i di to melf, but wasn't suppos to do tt. leonard:t's thstrengthhat she s. thas what keeps the the mily goi, and --

maybel: when i out he, i can fe their srit. i c fe my sist's breatbecaus she wi always beitting i the backf my carand she wod joke wh me, ani could el her bath onhe back me, ani real do fe their spit, and makes mhappy anstrong o here.hen get wn and srthinking out them, come outere and en spenthe wholday out re and eir housin back of me, i want to keep it up as long as it can stand up and let it fall by itself. [winwhistlin i belongere. thas why th land ivery imptant to . releaseall my sess and my pn, and imakes me strongergain.

[birds squawking] [birds crping] statz: randy and i have known each other since school. we we to scho togethe we actually went torom tother. lot of pple in t commity knewf randy cause theyad bld a newree all. evething wagood, an thenis depreion hit. roecker: when went thrgh my strules in 28, ielt so ale, thathere wanobody t there help me. nobo undersod depreion. it wasn ok toalk abt it. it was a igma assiated wi it, and u're juskind of isolated, d you suer alone and i ways saii suffer alone inilence bause it' li, nobodyi didn'tnow

where too. statz: tmy husba, it was embarrsing. heould nev t me telanyone tt he was onedicatioor what was ing throh. he waalways worriewhat oth people ought ofim, and m like "leon, is no difrent than--i said, ou wouldalk to everybodynd tl your story ifou breakour m or if sething ee would wrong,ut you c't tell anne tha "hey, iave a ntal hlth cris that i am ting to fure out? i an, to lot of opleit's an embarssme, and i'm li, "no. snd ta and own it d say, "i'm gon get thrgh this. roecker:o then i2018, th happed with on, bren's husbd, and tt set meack to whe i was imy own person struggl. statz:hen leonassed aw s funera and ran tried t

come, d he cald me lat d he sai "you ow, i really tri, but," said, " just coun't go. couldn't go," and i id, "tt's fi," anthat's wn he tolme that he'sonna fige out someing. we' gonnao somethg. ecker: tt's why started th group dn at chuh down re, ani caed up bren d i said"you kno we woul li to get gether a do sothing li this,and i dn't knoif it wagonna be too soonfter leohad pass awayand i dn't wanto push heinto somhing likthat but wanted to haveer involved statz: said, "i don't kn if i' talk, b i will me," d was ry nervo going t e very first meeng. we ended upith 40 pple our rst meetg, andhey came fr everywhe. i mea there is a nee

roecr: and tt was th beginninof the fmer ange network, so we got together, and there was a lot of tears shed at the first couple of meetings. i got a call last week from a farmer, and he wanted to know what the next step would be to get help for his nephew. stat there a so manyrises lines outhere, b people don't ow they' there. roecr: well,he thingf it , too, think tt... woma i went my firs meetinjust outf curiosy and just to kind of learn more. i thought, "we have to have ourselves a..." we were struggling ourselves about making a changout of dry faing. it st felt normal tme to noget up and to the rn rig away. i just wted to s what he therwas avaible fous. ce i fou out theesourc at are availle to farmer i st reallfelt a cl like ian help her ople lrn about this. roker: 800uicide-pvention mber, i d that magnec sticr stuck

l over t hous and wheit comes right down tit, i dot think d ev call itfirst ofll, i alwayshoughthat basically they'd ce and ta you awa anlock youp someple, and you ha tt fear dp down thathey're gna comt you ifou call at numbe atz: becse, likewith leo wh we hato cal they to him away ithe car,nd he just lked at m "i'm noa crinal. whdo i havto be handcuff and putn a car? but it'srotocol keep th ficers se if there in th hiclwith the and so they're anging tt that n theyave a cris tm th es to th-and they don't handcuff them, and ty talk themhrough it and gethem to a safe pce. has: it di't startut with e namearmer anl networ you know, itas a meeng on farm suide and fmer stre. aftethe firswinter o meetings, we kind of recognid at that'really n that inting to ople to me in anto seek lpactuallyi thk i can ke little crit for deloping e name farmer angeletwork. just ally fel "how cawe

suppt pele in a y that i assumi, not inusive in eir live" and i ink if wcan helpave one rson's life by ving the information avlable tohem, t thr loveones thaare supporng them, think we've ne a vergood dee stz: i'm hopinthat wcan help peoe find tir joy a realize,hey, may it isn' bad. i n get thugh this and i'vheard th from peop that ha come tohose meings, u know, "iust needed to lk to meone," d once ty verbale it andet it out, ey're li, "it's gonna ok." this is l the neland thai

ught aft leon hapassed ay. i do a lot othinking afr leon psed awayi drive ouhere aot. it'sust peacul, and 's beautul year-rnd. no mter whenou comeack here, it a very calmlace tcome to. mean, i can ut the mor off, d you'llee. it ijust peaful out here, and you just hear the wind, and it's-- this is what i lov [beze bling] john: re in thunited states, 're such big untry th sometim you don't rely underand what other lol communities are faced with. i remember reading about some of these

organizatis that he arted up to lp. i thk those e rely good ograms, d hofully, ty are heing those rmers t througthose diffult time dian i thinkt would heful if tre were re pele to he out witthe emional stss and t caring r othepeople. roker: i denjoy prucing a qualy producfor not only americs, butll over e world, a, you kn, my mil ge turned to cheesand butter a yogurt,o i enjo dointhat, buit's jus i stilstrugglevery dayith . i do. i stggle eve day wi it. yea out: i soldier on. may not smilas much i useto, but certnly, i'metting tthe poinnow wherthe cleanup is starting to ap up anwe're starti to thinabout wh werebuild,nd that rt gis me hop and it'a much moreonstructe and crtive

procs to rebld sometng and toebuild aife hereit y not behat it w, but itl be somhing newnd diffent, andn time or the nextecade orwo, ha work and swt equityit ll be sothing we can beroud of,nd we casay, "thas ours. rebuilthat," and hofully, ill be, u know, if n firepro least fe-resilit. leard: we,s the pele have to ow what vironmen is and h our lanshould b utiled and ten care . maelle: weeed to dour prayertogethergain. it wod be rlly neato have in a snow and all e livestoc back agn. statz: is a hardife, but yet is a woerful li, and pele just ed to sethat we all ed that ttle bitf

treach setimes tmake it througand thathere'll beer days ead, i aays say. roecke it's a human connection. it's a fily story coection. 's a buness conction, sit enmpasses much ofho i am and wh i've do. statz:on't givup. keep going beuse in t end, it wortit. mean, this is ur farm. is is yo legacy,nd hopelly, peoe realizyou didn'tuit. that's what ow. i dot quit.

male aouncer: arth foc" is me possib in party a granfrom annray fountion--a rgaret a cargl philanropy andhe orange county communit foundaon. femalennouncerhasa is

also told us "this is what i gave you. this is what you need to protect." we need this air. we need this grass. we need the trees. we need everything. it belongs to all of us, not just one person to go out and harvest and take for themselves, and it's not to be used to get rich and to fill your pockets. >> terra-gen identified monument ridge and bear river ridge as having high potential for wind development. i met with them early, and i expressed concerns about there being native ground there. >> i think, because this project would have been so visible, it would be a constant reminder of