announcer: funding for the kcet "fine cut" series is generously provided by the bridges larson foundation.

[beep] darren: hi. my name is darren west, and i want to be a contestant on "american champion." who am i? i would say i'm driven. i have a strong work ethic and a fire in my belly, and i, uh--i--err--i go all-out all the timeand, uh... who am i? i'm a driven person. i have a song work ethic and a fire in my belly. i go all out

all the time. that's who i am. i guess you could say i wear my heart on my sleeve and, uh, i didn't wear any sleeves. woman: shouldn't you be wearing a sleeveless shirt if you're gonna say that? darren: eh, no one will notice. woman: i guess it just seems like everyone on the show has, like, a theme. they do charities, or they're veterans, or they have some kind of sad or inspiring thing. i just-- darren: well, some guys have inspirinstories. i--don't have that, all right? i wasn't in the military or whatever. i wasn't adopted by wolves. woman: raised by wolves. darren: ok. the point is i have to take my essence, regular guy, and play that up. this is the one. i feel it. announcer: and welcome back to "american champion." we're coming at you live from l.a. with the semifinals. we've got

10 all-new obstacles and 6... woman: i'm gonna head to bed. i have work early in the morning. darren: you're not gonna watch? come on.ey. woman: good night. so how'd things ake up last night? darren: on the show? woman: mm-hmm. darren: the, uh,ipped grandma got eliminated. woman: hmm. so that leaves the widow and the-- darren: and the guy with eczema. woman: right, right, right. ok. so, um, i'm headed to work. can you, uh, do the dishes when you finish up? darren: sure. woman: bye. darren: bye. [bell ringing] [reverse signal beeping]

woman two: so he says to me-- he says--and he's a big fella, mind you--so he says, "everything i need to know about you i can tell just by looking at your backend. raspberry pie, cherry pie, but not blueberry. never blueberry back in those days. you remember when them cows hit the freeway? and after that incident, she's burnt so bad had to give her a bath in coffee creamer every morning to soothe the pain. came out smelling like hazelnuts, though. [crickets chirping] [chime]

[door creaks] woman: hey, darren. darren: hi. woman: darren. what did i ask you to do this morning? darren: have a nice day. woman:t's interesting how often you talk aut whatever work ethic-- darren: you don't sound very supportive right now. woman: supportive? darren: it doesn't sound like you're in my corner. woman: i go to work ery day for 10 hours, and all i'm asking you to do is scrub a cereal bowl. it's the least you could do. darren: how many "american champion" champions do you think are scrubbing cereal bowls, huh? huh? where do you think we're getting rking inside a warehouse, caroline? we're invisible, and i'm trying to elevate us, so the least you could do is say thank you

instead of yelling! caroline: thank you? darren: yeah. caroline: why don't you just stab me then right here? go ahea and thei can thank you for the new coatrack! jesus christ. man on tv: when she lost her legs in afghanistan, oh, it was just so surreal, you know? it changed everything, but looking back on it, i think it's the best thing that could ever have happened to us. she gave me the motivation to be the best version of myself. she's the reason i give it 110% every day. if i'm "american champion," it's gonna be because of my wife. [turns off tv]

[country music playing] darren: i need you to make her a plegic, a para--a quadri-- which one's just the legs? man: doesn't matter. darren: well, uh, just do the legs. waitress: you can't smoke in here. [slurp] man: mmm. all right. darren: um, what's the protocol here? is that it? ohthat. cash, dough, cheddar,

texas tea. man: texas tea is oil. darren: oh. well, uh, what's money then? green tea? caroline: darren. i'm sorry i snapped yesterday. i'm headed to work, ok? darren: it's ok. i'm sorry.

[camera beeps] every day's a struggle having a parale--a paraplegic wife. everything i do i do for her. i give 110% for her every day, but, oh, brother, it ain't easy. it ain't easy being the one who has to do everything. it's hard, but it's worth it because i become the best version of myself. if i'm on "american champion," i'd dedicate it to my wife caroline, my legless love. well, uh, she has legs. they're just, you know...

man: you caroline? caroline: can i help you? what--what are you-- man: agh! ahh! agh! coconut? agh! unh! woman: who's the ...? [door opens]

hey. darren: hi. you're home early. caroline: yeah. i had a crazy, weird day at work today. had to call the cops on some guy. he, like, pulled out a crowbar and tried to attack me. hey. you did the dishes. see? it ain't so hard. darren: may i got to the restroom, please? caroline: are you asking me? ok. [door shuts] [beep] darren: every day's a struggle

having a parale--a paraplegic wife, but it's worth it because i become the best version of myself. if i'm on "american champion," i'd dedicate it to my wife caroline, my legless love. well, uh, she has legs. they're just... [car approaching] [knock on door] darren: i can explain. i promise. tell them i'm not here. [police radio chatter] caroline: ok. man: caroline west? caroline: yes. woman: your husband is darren west? [knock on door] caroline: darren, i told them you weren't here. told them i

didn't know where you were. you can tell me what happened. i won't be mad. darren: you sent them away? caroline: of course i did. i'm here to support you. you can talk to me. darren: i did a bad thing. caroline: darren...come out. i'm in your corner. [creak] [police radio chatter]

[prison door clattering] [thud] [indistinct chatter] ["american champion" theme music playing] announcer: we're coming to you live from l.a. it's "american champion." we've got a new batch of contestants this week, including a warehouse worker who got out of a toxic relationship and reinvented herself as a real champion. caroline: when you grow up in a small town, you don't have a lot of options. a lot of people get married young. the guy i married wanted to move to california. so did i. move out west, you know? i thought if we could get there everything would be all right. things didn't work out. he, uh-- he tried to hurt me, but i pulled myself out of the hole. it took hard work,

determination. i gave it everything i have. i guess you could say i wear my heart on my sleeve even when i'm not wearing any sleeves. [cheering and applause] frankie: the gymnastics world is a tough place to make friends. you wouldn't think a bunch of 13-year-old girls would be so intense, but it's like a shark tank out there, especially when you're aizarre hot dog-han hybrid girl... but that's ok. i'm not here for that. i'gonna win for you and show the world that hot dogs can

do gymnastics, too. [cheering and applause] announcer: tiffany sticks the landin the remaining competitors will need a perfect score to win. girl: awesome job, tiffany. girl two: yeah. you're the best! tiffany: look, girls! it's a life-sized pig in a blanket. girl: yeah. looks like the hot dog finally ketchud to the-- uh... tiffany: listen. this is gymnastics. it's for han gis, not hot dogs, especially not gas station horsmeat human-hot dog hybrid freaks like you. girl: and you're an idiot! tiffany: she's likif god messed up a person.

girl: e'll probably die alone. sally: here. you know, befe i became fends with ffany, she used to call me stinky pits sally. gosh, she's the worst. m only tryg to win for my parents. if can get the prize money, i can fally afford the operation. tiffany: sally, what are you doing talking to that hot dog monstrosity? sally: uh, i got to go. i' sorry. stay strong. coming! [tiffany sighs] tiffany: don't tell me youere lking about your dumb parents again. sally: no. i was making fun of the hot dog for being diffent. tiffany: ha! nice! announcer: sally to the floor. tiffany: you better not embarrass us, sally. [cheering and applause] [buzzer] announcer: sally disqualified.

the final competitor frankie the hot dog to the floor. girls: you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not a person. you're not person. sally: hey, tiffany. whado you think of my eaty armpits? ould i be insecure about them? tiffany: well, well, well. if it isn't sally the stinky pits moron. you look li if a dumb person and an idiot had... announcer: frankie, 10 seconds to disqualification. [exhales] [bell tolls]

frankie: mom, is that you? mom: yes, it's me--ghost mom. you've made it into the zone. i've been ghost watching you your whole life. sure i died when you came out of me a fully rmed hot dog, and frany, i still have some questions, but don'think of that now. think of your training, the years of dedication. i was always ghost there for you. inow you can stick this triple axel flip. frkie: i don't know if i'm ready. mom: sweetie, you're ready. it's time to show the world what type of hot dog you rlly are-- a weiner. [sighs] eartbeat

[panting] tear: hee! me love. announcer: frankie wins! [cheering and applau] tiffany: oh, my god! is this

spicy mustard? girl: i'm allergic to tomato! [cheering and applause] [camera shutters clicking] sally: frankie, that was amazing! your form incredible, and when you did--i just what? no. i can't take this. this is everything you've worked for for your entire life. it's not worth my new best friend. [cheering and applause]

man: i was so ashamed of myself that i couldn't control that. i was like, "what's going on here?" woman: i didn't kn what was happening to me. am i stil stressed from yesterday, or what is--what is the deal with me? man two: just was little overwhelming for me because i think my eye doesn't know where to go, and then my brain starts to freak out. woman 3: i start, like, thinking in my head, "oh, my--like, oh, my god. i can't--i can't--i can't get the sight up," you ow, and then it starts to snowball. man two: it's scary once that

snowball starts cking up a you start to realize, like, "oh, this is a problem." kristin braun: there's something magical about releasing an arrow and seeing it fly through e air. it's like time stops. you wait and wonder for it to find its way to the target and listen for the hit. i fell in love with the very first arrow. i started archery when i w 10 years old. i tried it at girl scout camp, and it was peaceful and meditative, and i got to be outside and working with my hands and my mind, and it was just reay easy for me to connect with it. when i learne that archery was in the olympics, i ew my stiny. competing in the olympics became a dream of mine, and i knew in my soul that i could push myself to work harder and shoot better than anyone else. i dropped out of film school at usc and went to train full-me at th olympic aining center. so i lived there, i ate there, i

slept there. all i did every day was archery. i made the world championships team. my scores went up, my ranking went up. everything was making sense, and i saw my efforts pay off in tangible results. jay leno: we have a member of the u.s. 2009 olympic archery team--kristin braun. kristin, come on out here. [cheering and applause] kristin: but then something changed. it was so subtle at first i barely noticed. i began to flinch every so often at full draw. i assumed that it was something that i was doing incorrectly with technique or that i needed to be stronger or that i needed to just train more. every day, i trained harder to fix my problem. days tned into weeks, then months. i had a bad year, but i still had hope that i could do something or change something and then be back on track. back then, no one talked

about target panic, but i had heard whispers about it, a bogeyman that causes archers to miss or be afraid of the target, drowning them in misery while robbing them of their skill. i ran ay from it because i never heard of anyone escapi it once they were engulfed, but was already lost in the storm. my worst experience with target panic--i started having trouble tting througthe clicr. the clicker is this piece of equipment that tells y when to shoot. some shots, i would come up, and i would just pull through even before it even got to my face, and i was like, "how is that happening? like, my arms didn't grow in the last two seconds." and then other times where i would be sitting at full draw, and i would be expanding and trying to expand, expand, expand through the clicker, and i couldn't get there. so it was embarrassing and confusing, and i felt like i didn't know why it was happening, and i felt like, "ok. you know what? i'm just gonna draw my bow back without an arrow in it just to get the

feeling of what being at full draw comfort really feels like." so i take a deep breath, and i draw my bow back without an arrow, and i couldn't hold on to the string. so without an arrow in it, just bam! let go of the string. [thwack] it's a really horrible sound, and all the eyes in the room went on me, and at that point, it was like i was done. [laptop chiming] i remember my teammate nick having similar issues that were never discussed. how's it going, bud? nick: good. for me, the situation was that i'd get to here, and i couldn't draw back to my faceit would just come here and just shake. i'd have to, like, draw down, and i'm like, "what is going on here? like, it doesn't even make sense. i have all the strength. i have all the ability. i know the technique. i've shot it a million times, and now i can't--i can't even do it." kristin: for me being at the training center, i almost had this additnal feeling of, like, guilt that, like, i have all this opportunity to trn

and to shoot well, and, like, thiss all i have tdo, and yet i cat do it. wt the-- what the hell wrong wh me? nick: it sucks to be in that boat. i mean, that happened to me. i lost all my funding. i can't even fathom what it would be like to have millions of dollars on the line. kristin: looking back, it's obvious that i had target panic. as the olympics approached, it got worse and worse. i fought as hard as i could in the year leading up to the u.s. olympic trials, but i missed the team by two spots. my whole world fell apart. i wasn't the person i believed i was. the season was over as was my chance at the olympics. my ranking continued to fall along with my scores. i lost my

identity, my income, my faith in myself, and before long, i lost the only thing i had left, my love for shooting. whoa! smoked it. i had nothing to show r those years of hard work and sacrifice, and i left unsure if i was capable of accomplishing anything. only with time did i become curious about target panic. i sought out anyone who would talk about it.

man, on p.a.: once we have picked up arrows, please report back... kristin: i was a member of a world championships team in 2009. i'm trying to look into target panic. man: target panic is horrible, absolutely horrible. man two: target panic? kristin: yeah. man two: oh, my gosh. it's the devil. man 3: target panic was the worst. man 4: people think if they talk about it they'll get it again. man 5: i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. it's debilitating. i consider myself a pretty smart guy, and to see me mentally break down, like, "wow!" and then you see it in other people, and, oh, you just feel pity and just want to give them a hug and go "it's gonna be ok." man: real target panic is when you cannot aim at the target. you can either freeze off to the side. you freeze down below, up high, and then you jerk it and can't let go. you can aim right at the spot, but you can't let go man 6: i think everybody struggles with it at some point in their career. man 7: it frustrated me to the point where i would break down. there were times i wanted to quit.

kristin: yeah. man 7: because you're like, "how can i get past this? how can i get past this? i know i'm good at this, but why am i doing this?" kristin: there's a similar phenomenon to target panic in almost every sport, a sudden loss of motor control, a hitch, or an athlete freezing mid-motion. based on my own experience, it starts when dozens of unhelpful psychological factors are ingested and ingrained, building layer up on layer until finally there is a physical manifestation. you can see the physical effects, the flinching, the tremors, the inability to aim at the target. you try and try and try to fix the physical symptoms, but really, the cause

is buried under invisible layers of misunderstanding, shame, guilt, and fear of failure. stress about these new symptoms creates more anxiety surrounding the problem, which leads to even more symptoms in a vicious cycle. when i retired, i put all my archery gear into storage, and years later, my desire to shoot still hasn't returned. as painful as it was, i decided to sell everything. i had attached my identity to my performance, and while i had always known there was a possibility i wouldn't make the olympic team, i never excted to be driven away from the sport by something that is barely understood.

my hope is that by talking about targetanic we can gain a more compassionate understandg of the fragile connection between our minds and our bodies. announcer: last year, hit .200 with 2 home runs in 67 games, and franco with his first pitch for ball 1. announcer: james was the calif-- uh-oh! oh, my goodness! announcer two: that's one of those you don't even want to watch. i don't even want to watch--look at this. i mean, whoa. [audience laughing] colbert: how can you be this great of an athlete and have a

swing that terrible? [sizzlin

[bubing] [squea [caw]

[cho] [caw]

[dpping] [bube]

[feet tapping] [sigh] [whining] boy: hurry, carmen! carmen: ok. we got to hurry so we can stay on schedule. here. take him. i'm gonna go put gas. girl: i'm not going in there. carmen: abril, go take him. abril: look. you take him. i'll fill up the car. boy: hurry. carmen: ok. wait. don't touch anything.

[pump beeping] boy: but why didn't abril want to come? legos are cool! carmen: uh, i--i don't know. why do you need all 5? boy: i'll eat one now and save some for later? you can have one, and we'll give one to abril? carmen: how much was it?

abril: i wasn't paying attention. carmen: come on. [engine sputtering] [engine turns over] [engine stops] [sputtering] boy: what happened? carmen: i don't know. it was running fine before. boy: hurry. fix it, please. abril: it's a million years old. maybe it finally died.

carmen: cars don't just die, abril. boy: yeah, stupid! [smack] carm: you didn't touch anything else, right? abril: i don't even know what anything else is. call somebody. call the dude in there. carmen: well, he's just a cashier. he probably doesn't know how to fix a car. abril: yeah, but he should know about his own stuff. like you said, it was fine before we put his gas. caen: ok. don't think it was the gas, ok? abril: just call the guy. it's probably his fau. he's selling bad diesel. carmen: diesel? abril: yeah. diesel gas. carmen: you put diesel, not regular gas? abril: isn't that the same thing? carmen: no. it is not the same thing! oh, my... [carmen speaking spanish]

uh-huh. boy: hey! stop touching stuff! abril: don't hit me! carmen: ok. ok. i love you. abril: stop doing that! cut it out, diego. diego: grr! just leave me alone! abril: stop touching me! diego: i hate you! ow! get off! abril: don't touch me. let go! diego: get off of me! carmen: what the... [sighs]

abril: can't sleep. carmen: i don't what you want me to do about that. [diego murmurs] stop. abril: let go! carmen: what the ...? abril: it was an accident. carmen: ohh. everything with you is an accident. abril: i didn't mean for any of that today. carmen: i don't get it. you knew how important this was for him, and you still went and messed everything up.

what are you doing? abril: i'm gonna take a walk. carmen: no. go to bed. abril: carmen, i'll be 10 minutes. [carmen speaks spanish] what's the big deal? i can handle myself. carmen: mmm. y really can't, though, and i don't have the patience or the money to fix anything that you're gonna do tonight. abril: why are you freaking out? mom's not here. you don't have to keep kissing her ... carmen: what? you think i take joy fixing your ... mistakes, huh? god. this doesn't earn me gold stars. abril: then what do you want from me? we all can't be as put together as you. carmen: i don't have my ... together! abril: so then why do i have to? carmen: cause you don't have anything figured out. abril: why is it the worst thing in the world for me to make a mistake, to need help with something? carmen: becausit's ok to ask

for help when we screw up every once in a while. it's not ok to be a screw-up, and, god, you two screw up a lot. diego: i just wanted to show people how fast my car was. i wasn't trying to make it hard for you. i didn't mean it. i'm not mad about my car anymore. it was an accident. abril: diego, we didn't mean it. carmen: we were just talking. i'm sorry. diego: it's ok. i'll try not to do it again. carmen: hey. i sorry, ok?

diego: i have to go potty. carmen: uh, yeah. yeah. ok. abril: can i fill up? carmen: it's ok. i got it. abril: i think i can do it. carmen: uh, it's--it's fine. thanks. [carmen sighs] um...just make sure you use the black nozzle, ok?

come on. want some candy? diego: ok, but we got to hurry. carmen: ok. hurley: got one there, and 3, 2, 1. it's nice with the air conditioning inside, right? sofia: yeah.

[cheerg and apause] [aplane laing]

haa ha!

man: heyha ha! peaking anish] [tangousic plang] [humming sofia:hh! heh h heh! hueyheh heh!

sofi ohh.

announcer: funding for the kcet "fine cut" series is generously provided by th

- we have done ourselves a disservice by not having a talk about death. oftentimes, they place a foot on the conveyor belt of end-of-life care and they're swept away. - most anybody that i know has never experienced a home funeral or a natural burial. they don't know how to do it because no one's offering it. - everybody's life, you leave a legacy. and john would help their family remember that legacy. but also, to put one foot in front of the other