- [benjamin] i don't know. i thought it was better than dying alone. (laughs) ♪ isn't it weird ♪ ♪ isn't it strange ♪ ♪ even though we're just two strangers ♪ ♪ on this runaway train ♪ ♪ we're both trying to ♪ find a place in the sun ♪ (cars honking) - [photographer] over here. to your left, thanks. smile. (cameras shuttering) - you all right? - yeah. - oh, hi. how are you? - yeah, i'm okay, thanks. yeah, yeah. are you excited about the film? - why are you being weird? - what? - you didn't tell ben, did you? - no, don't worry, i'm not gonna. - 'cause you know nothing's going to happen, right?

- i was just coming out of the toilet, i wasn't-- - okay, well it was good to see you. - okay. - now you're being weird. surely you can see that. - well, i haven't done anything. can we start again? i like your outfit. - you're being really creepy. - okay, i'm gonna go 'cause i don't. - okay, so serious god, i was just saying. - i don't know what you want me to-- - martha. yeah, i'm in the cab now. (cameras shuttering) - [photographer] to your left, to your left. thank you, yeah. - what are you doing? - i just have to meditate. - okay, c'mon now. time to be someone who can host a screening like a big boy. ben, everyone is sat. you need to introduce the film. now, c'mon. - i don't think we should have put the monk scenes back in. - i begged you. - i think that-- that--, uh, it'd give it something, but they do, don't they? don't they?

- well, it's about to be screened now so we'll find out. - oh, god, no. - and tonight's film is the second film from benjamin oliver starring benjamin oliver himself alongside harry barridge. here to introduce the film, please welcome benjamin oliver, tessa huston, and harry barridge. (crowd applauding) - hello. um, thank you-- thank you all for coming. um, so, yes, this is, uh, this is the first time i've shown this to anyone, so that's exciting, right? um, hopefully you-- you'll all like it, so i can continue doing this sort of thing. um, oh, well, maybe we should just watch it. and, uh, we should-- we should just watch the film and then you can write some wonderful reviews. i think it's all going to be fine. should we sort of bring the lights down? does somebody else wanna talk? no, should we just, uh, bring the lights down and we should watch it? um, oh, and have fun, everyone.

and, yeah, yeah, uh, good luck. (crowd applauding) - what is it that you want? to be free from problems, yes? but only when you want nothing. when you have what you want. who is it who wants? who are you? who? who? (crowd clapping)

- shit. (door slamming) (toilet flushing) - hey, i lost you. are you okay? - yeah, i'm fine. how are they? how are they taking it? are they happy? - yeah, i think so, yeah. listen, it was really good. really interesting. - oh, god. did you hear that? - no. - is the relationship over? - what? no, okay... listen, maybe- maybe it's better for me to go, so you can--

- no, no, no, no, no, no, it's-- it's very important that you come back with me tonight, okay? c'mon. - hey. hey, bravo, bravo. - thanks. it's terrible. - that was good, it's good. i just had a couple talk about your shop composition. it was funny. - and here, um, what about the monk? - see i didn't, i wasn't that... - oh, okay, yeah. i think i'm gonna go home and try and cry. - yeah. - are you gonna be okay here? - yeah. - maybe you can go say hi to billie? - uh, nah, nah, you go. i'm fine. - okay, just tell me. was it really bad? - it's... - you just said no? - no. - hello, hugely talented, multi-skilled, wonder man. - well, really? - please, i mean, who has a monk? you're so clever. - i'm gonna go get a drink. - okay. - hello, beautiful noah. - [noah] hey. - so, your boyfriend's a bloody genius.

- oh. yeah. - what's up, maestro? this film... benjamin. - harry? - it's genuinely obscene. seriously, thank you. everyone here thinks that what you have done is profound. - well, no, who? which? who? - i cried. - you only watched the first half. - and i can't wait to see what happens next. sorry, martha was having a crisis. - oh yeah, martha with the chairs. is there somewhere we can sit? - hey. - what's up, man? what was that? - sorry, that was, it was meant to be a playful, um, you know, the knee behind the knee? - yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you don't know me to kick me. - [benjamin] this is stephen, he's very playful. - [stephen] can i kick you now? - oh, jesus. - this is noah, he's also a delight. - hey. - is that your real nose? is it your real nose? - don't touch him. - we have to go. - i think i'm gonna go too. - oh, no, no. can you just stay, i'll come with you. - i don't want to sleep with you again, by the way. that's not what i was trying. - oh my god. shut up, just shut up. - what happened?

- nothing. doesn't count, can we go? - what do you mean it doesn't count? - it was only for a minute. - [harry] oh (laughs). what does that mean? - for fuck's sake, it wasn't a continuous in and out, it was just an in and then an exit. - well, hang on. - nothing happened. okay, bye. - it was normal, actually it was normal sex. - [benjamin] you don't need to go noah. - she seduced me. i was going home, i wasn't even-- - excuse me, how old are you? - how old are you? you-- you-- you're a fucking psychopath. - okay, okay. - what do you want from me? do you want me to dance? huh? you want me to dance? do you want to be sexy? put a smile on your face? a little dance, like, it's sexy. - stephen, stephen. what are you doing? - i don't know. - you okay? - yeah, just get me out of here. - that was a very good dance. - thanks. - [benjamin] are you okay? - yeah. - i've... go... - okay.

- [noah] hey. sorry, it was crazy down there. - [benjamin] yeah, it was, wasn't it? are you okay? - [noah] yeah, yeah. i just wanted to say goodbye. - what, goodbye? what, why do you wanna say, what, goodbye? that's ridiculous (laughs). - i've-- i've things to do tomorrow, so. - yeah, i've got things to do tomorrow. i got things. gee, what-- what is this? - no, nothing. - [benjamin] no, go on. it's okay, what is, or, what is it? - well, just, like, maybe i'm not ready for, like, a relationship, you know? - right, yeah. - so. - oh, that's bad. - but congratulations on making a film. it's amazing, really. - is it? - yeah, yeah. - cool. you have to go. - yeah. - you have to get to bed. - yeah (laughs). - and sleep, goodnight. - okay. thank you.

okay, bye. - bye. (slow music) - on one hand is this sort of nice, interesting, lovely kind of romantic comedy about him and his non-relationship with this character aticus played by that guy harry barridge, he's in the new keira knightley film, "sibling". but then the other half of the movie, as implied by the title "no self", is about the buddhist idea of the self being a projection and an illusion to somehow protect you from falling in love. and the way this keeps being represented is a pretentious monk from a film about this buddhist way, he has absolutely no place being in this film at all. and you think, why didn't some producer just go, "enough with the monk.

"just do the think that you did before that you can do. "this monk, we've had maximum monk." the reason i'm getting slightly exasperated is 'cause i'm sort of disappointed. because, you know, you see somebody and there's, like, an emerging talent and think, "god, they're gonna do really good work." and then they don't. and it's like, you're not angry, you're just disappointed. and you're a bit like- - he's let you down. - he has let me down. - he's let himself down. - exactly (laughs). - and the whole. he's let everybody down (laughs). i'm sorry, it's not funny. actually, it's not funny. (slow music)

(mumbles) - i could just say the sound to the stage. is it southeast asia? - [speaker 21] just south asia. - [tessa] so, how's it looking? - [benjamin] it's not good. - [tessa] tell me, what have you been up to? oh, it's fantastic having a proper project. lucy? - uh, do you go to lunch or a snack? - just a sec. lucy, we need to start shooting or we'll lose the children.

sorry, sorry, i'm listening. - uh, no, i was just thinking and i'm not sure exactly what i wanna do next and i just thought if you had anything coming up that needed a director or anything, and i'm really up for doing something that doesn't come directly out of my own pain. - what is all this pain that you're in? i mean, ben, are you really in pain? ah, danny. - i'm sorry, am i in your seat? - yeah. - i'm sorry. - that's all right. - no, i'm leaving anyway, so. - oh, no. - yeah. - oh. so sorry, it's just... - packed day. - yes, um, look, this is all looking so good. congratulations. - oh, thanks. - so good. - oh, you're the competition winner? - no, no, no, i'm not one. do you know what time it is? - oh, i'm so sorry we haven't been able to speak properly. - oh, it's okay. sure, um, we'll catch up whenever you're done with all this. - i'd love that. - great. - love that. can't wait to see you. - yes, okay. - you know where you're going? - um, yep. - great. - okay, bye. - all right, bye bye. - [benjamin] oh, sorry forgot my bag.

♪ let me go ♪ ♪ let me go, oh, oh ♪ - uh, yeah, my name is harry barridge, i'm an actor. my favorite film from childhood. i would probably say "the parent trap". - like, my only idea was, like, if there was... say there's, like, a part, or a character, or something that you've never got the chance to play and you'd love to play it. or, like, if there was a role that's, you've never been offered, then i could probably write some for you. - oh, tell ben about your big nude scene.

it's harry's cinematic debut. oh, apart from your film, but does that count? i mean, this is being released. - well, i think it counts, but, uh, so what, you're a bit naked, or with the penis? - [billie] yeah. - yeah. - how do you, i mean, is that okay, 'cause it's the character's penis? - ben, i don't know if i should say this, it may be, like, insulting to your craft. - oh, please, um, this is a safe space. - i'd really love us to write something together. - really? - yeah. i've been reading, like, so many standard, mainstream bullshit scripts. and i love the way you don't chase success, you know? - [benjamin] yeah. - and it would be so, like, it would be so fucking cool to create something with you that's, like, totally original. but, like, not an easy watch. - yeah, um, it can be quite intense writing as a pair. um, like, i've actually been writing something with stephen, like, a different- - who? - my friend, stephen. (laughs). - oh my god, we never talk about that again.

you slept with that idiot dancer. - she's not an idiot. - it's just obvious. oh, christ, can you take these off me? - [harry] what are you writing with stephen? - uh, well we're actually doing this funny... - sure, sure, 'cause he's so funny. - uh, did you have an idea for a story? - i don't think we should limit ourselves to the idea of telling a story. - [billie] okay, so you'll do it. - well, i don't know-- don't know if i should commit to anything right now. - [billie] okay, who you texting? - no one. - [billie] so annoying. - wanting this, wanting that. if you are expecting things, make no mistake. you are a puppet. many people, they search their whole lives looking for a false reputation,

but finally there is obscurity. and obscurity, this is the best thing. - i don't know, is there-- is there-- is there a character or set you've got in mind? - i mean, i can see maroon for some reason. - the color? - yeah. - okay. um, maroon. but, um, like, if you're to say how we imagine the film beginning, or, can you see that? - well, i think it's... i don't think we should be too literal about it. - no, no. maybe we open on maroon. - mm-hmm. and there's a feeling in the air of, is this blood?

- [benjamin] okay. and it turns out to be? - a coat, yeah. - [benjamin] okay, great. yes, and wearing the coat is you, maybe? - yeah. - [benjamin] okay. and you're, what are you- what are you doing? - i'm asleep, i'm dreaming. - [benjamin] okay. what are you dreaming about? - a swan. - okay. okay. and then, sorry, uh, what are you trying to say? i mean, is there a particular kind of message or an idea? - can i sketch you? - [benjamin] can you sketch me? - yeah. - [benjamin] what? - just take your top off. - [benjamin] why would you? - how are my nipples?

good texture? - shh. - what do you like to paint most the time? is it-- - it's difficult to talk about. - right. is it usually people? or fruit? - well, it's everything, you know? i mean, if you say what do i paint? i would say feelings. my paintings are kind of like my journal, so i can look back and say that's how i was feeling last week. - oh. how were you feeling last week? - well, i'd have to go in the other room and look. so, it's not completely what i was trying to do. - oh, wow. wow, you made me sort of attractive. - you are attractive. seriously, i find conventional beauty so boring. - okay then. should we go back to work, or? - ben, this is the work. - yes.

should i draw you? - (laughs) okay, cool. - oh, wow, gosh, okay. is that the penis from the film? - how are my nipples? - yep. - have you seen my bedroom yet? - you have a bedroom? (laughs) (footsteps thudding) (piano playing)

- oh, sorry. rip it, oh. - [harry] you can write here if you want. let yourself out when you feel. - okay, yeah. i'll flash it out a bit. - you okay? you seemed a bit distracted. - oh, no, no. i was, i liked it. we did well. what are we gonna say to billie about this? - what do you mean? - i mean, will we want to do this again, or? - i think it was kind of an experience, you know? - great. what were the results? you let me know.

okay, oh. go ahead. (footsteps thudding) (slow music)

hi. hi, how are you? - i'm good. i'm good. - um, is this a bit strange? was it a good day for music? - yeah. - good. i was just wondering if you might still be in the business of being interested in me? i think i might have put you off by being a lunatic. and i've sort of missed you. - i missed you too. - really? have you, how much? - a bit. - like, maybe we should just have fun rather than anything more formal? like, maybe we should just be people.

should we just be people? - is that what you want? - yeah, just people. - okay, i think we can be people. - [benjamin] great. (laughing) so what do we, or how should we, um, a handshake? (slow music) (laughing) - encore. (laughing)

- encore? - mm-hmm (laughing) (piano playing) wait, where's d minor? - just move your first finger to another key. yeah, yeah. - here? that's it? - mm-hmm. - okay. oh, so then that's b minor? - yeah (laughs). - okay, right, this is the one that concerns me. - okay, so play it again slowly and think of something sad. (piano playing) good, really good. - okay, now play vanessa carlton. (laughs)

(a thousand miles playing) amazing. this is like what monkeys do. - (laughs) shh. - [benjamin] what? - no talking in the bath. - that's a french word? - don't speak. - okay. what were you doing? - shh. - oh, god no please, i don't like this. i don't like this. - it's okay.

hello. would you like to be my boyfriend? (slow music) - what'd you just do? - are you in show business? get your foot off the stage. right. let's get the next one out, shall we? - [crowd] yeah. - tickled, thank god. right (laughs). hey, nice socks.

you're not gonna need those 'cause this bloke is gonna laugh them straight off your feet. here we go. are you ready for your next act? - [crowd] yeah. - he's a great friend of mine. ladies and gentlemen, please welcome stephen arnold. c'mon. (crowd applauding) - hello, audience. how are you? good laugh. you like to laugh, huh? yeah, well me too. the other day i laughed so hard some milk came out of my nipples, (crowd laughing) which was unexpected. what about all this sexism, right? i mean, how is there any sexism in the world when we all come from a woman? i mean, when do we begin to be sexist? are we just there in the womb being like, "oh, this is all very good "but i think my dad would do a better job." (crowd laughing) sorry. are you okay? oh, right. he's getting married. (crowd applauding) oh, there she is. wow, round of applause for them. (crowd applauding) wow, congratulations.

you know, everything ends. that's something you can count on. any orphans in tonight? now see, that would be tough. that must be really tough. but i do think if my parents were dead, i'd find it a lot easier to kill myself. no? okay, show of hands, whose father hit them? nothing? c'mon (laughs). c'mon. no, oh, man, jesus. - [male] fuck off, mate. - oh (laughs) thanks. that's terrible. uh, right, uh, no problem, no problem. (crowd astounded) uh... yeah, no actually, i think that's me. goodnight everyone. did someone say encore?

- [noah] how you doing? - [benjamin] i don't know. - [noah] hey. - hey. - [benjamin] hey. so, i thought it was great, right? perfect date night. - right, it was. it was very real. - what did you think, noah? you're the voice of youth? - ah, i think it was funny, maybe it was just the wrong crowd. but it was good to see you on stage and perform. - it was cool. it's cool, it's cool. - uh, please don't upset noah, he's very young. - (laughs) well, what else would he be? hey, is this gonna be a film soon? - (laughs) okay, um, i think that we, maybe we need to leave. um, but we'll come to the next gig. - oh, that was my last gig. do you want me to sign any autographs, or? - well, when's the next one? - no, that's it. i've been doing it for eight years. i can't write anything new with what's happening, 'cause i'm just-- just getting older. don't waste your life like us. is it too late to become a vet? maybe that would have made daddy love me, i don't know. this guy knows what i'm talking about. - okay, i think maybe it's home time.

uh, but thank you for all of the laughter. - and why do we give a shit? we should just feel grateful for the sperm, right? sorry, man. anyway, yeah, sorry. goodnight everybody, drive safe. (knocking) - [stephen] hey. - oh my god, what happened? should i hold your arm? - no, i'm okay, thank you. - okay, do want to talk about it? - i really can't. - we could have a conversation. - stop please. - why do you think this kind of thing keeps happening? - i don't know. - maybe you do.