i just started sobbing. after, i don't know, it was maybe, like, a month of this, like, super-intense... kind of became, like, a full-time job. - i wanted you to quit your job. - oh, that's right. yeah, you wanted me to quit my job and take care of you for the next nine months. - i don't like to think about it. - i think you're doing better now than you ever have. i'm glad that you trusted me. i love you, margaret. but it all worked out. - thanks, jenny. ♪ (voiceover): jenny can recognize the things in me when maybe i can't recognize myself.

but it's hard when you're in that position to have to take care of somebody. i asked a lot from her. i think in those moments, it feels impossible. it feels like, what is the solution? you're trying and trying and trying, and it keeps happening over and over, and it's frustrating. but it's like anything. with persistence and time, change comes. (chiming) i think it's important to have someone that keeps you accountable. ♪ daniel: here's the refrigerator. - okay. so you got food. - yeah. - is that old or new? - nah, that's new. that's chorizo and eggs. - oh, okay. okay.

and your bathroom light works? (switches clicking, fan running) nothing broken, nothing... - no. - how about we, you know, maybe sweep and mop, just a little bit? - uh... - you have dust there. - yeah. - what are those? shoes? - yeah. (voiceover): i don't like home visits. they be all in your business. but i deal with it, and i go through it, and i give 'em two thumbs ups, because hey, i'm that type of guy. (beeping) 387. - 387. - i ate, though. - when? - at the drop-in center. - those are very high numbers. do you know the consequences of high blood sugars? - yeah, i know. uh... ♪ (voiceover): i just get real depressed after a while. doing the same old (muted) every day, in and out. that's get boring.

i just want to be by myself all the time. and i don't answer my phone. that was the only thing that brings me joy-- drinking. man: you gotta be here. daniel: okay, i'll be here tomorrow. man: okay. - (whispering): that's 'cause i hate that (muted) class. byrne: what class is it? - it's a drug class. 'cause they know i smoke weed. they tell me slow down if i can, but i be, like, "yeah, all right." ♪ and then with me, sometimes, when i want to talk to somebody, i feel like it's gonna be a dumb conversation, so i just keep it to myself. byrne: and what happens when you keep it to yourself? daniel: it feels like you're all alone.

doctor: are you still smoking? daniel: yeah. - that's bad. can we eventually stop? - okay, i'll try. (people talking in background) byrne: how do you feel about them asking you all those questions? i know how to talk, you know? i don't be trippin'. - what does that mean? - i know how to finesse and maneuver, so i'll be straight. - so you mean you're telling them what they want to hear. - basically. but it's still truth in that (muted). that's why my blood pressure be so high. (phone ringing) (voiceover): it's him, it's good news. mm, mm... byrne: who's that? - uh, my boy with them things. - what things? - x pills. - you're taking x? - yeah. - do you want me to stop filming? - it's up to you-- i was gonna ask you,

if i gave you gas money, would you take me? - you worry me, you know? you worry me. - i'm glad you worry about me. that lets me know you care. - no, i'm not taking you. - why not? please. - he ask me bring him shoes or some jacket. he's already for one month in nursing home. they're not allowed to have the string. two day ago, they transfer him to mental hospital. i don't know what exactly happen.

and he was really hoping somebody go visit him there and whatever, but... nobody. no brother. you're filming him, that's why you, you're around him. hello. we come to visit dimitar ivanov. he's in mental unit. ♪ dimitar: i had some homicidal thoughts, and i was honest with the staff. but, like, i was just testing my boundaries, just like with a substitute teacher. gina: one day i'll be tired, i'll die. i'll give up on you, and i don't want to give up on you, but... byrne: so you think you'll be released tomorrow, they say? dimitar: i think so. gina: okay, we'll see. ♪

dimitar: ta-da. gina (in bulgarian): - (sighing): i did call. - let me see. - you don't believe me? gina (in bulgarian): dimitar (in bulgarian): - (muttering) they discharge you? what did they say? - why don't you call them and find out? - they're supposed to call me. - why are they supposed to call you? the paperwork is in the coat pocket behind you. behind you. - (quietly): what are you thinking? - why do you want to know what i'm thinking?

are you scared of me? - right now, or... - in general. - sometime. - why? - because you are acting... - weird? - sometime. - weird or crazy? - both. - i'm still your son. - you are, i never stop loving you. i never stop... trying to do something for you. - did you find the paperwork? - no. - here, watch out. here's my discharge paperwork. see, signed, signed by everybody. - from hospital they don't call me to let me know, they just discharge him. byrne: do you have to go to work today? - yeah. - how do you feel about leaving him here?

- not comfortable. (hip-hop music playing loudly) (water running) (music continues in background) byrne: what are you doing? - profilaktika, profilaktika! (music continues in background) (music stops)

dimitar: we can sit on the couch for a minute and just, just unwind a little bit so i can go to sleep. byrne: yeah, you should go to sleep. feel better? - yeah. ♪ angela (on phone): i haven't been over my ten minutes. no, i don't want to switch. that phone works. - okay, are you recording? byrne: yeah. - okay. i've been refusing medication because it's against my beliefs. istarted back smoking pcp, i came and i detoxed without the help of any chemicals to help me. byrne: did the court order today for you to take lithium?

- yes, they did, margaret, yes, they did. and do you know how angry i was? i was so angry, i actually told him, "(muted) him." and of course, that made me look even more unstable, by me telling the judge, "(muted) him." - yeah. - but i'll talk to you later. - okay, call me again. (call ends) i'm going to look for daniel. (text sent) i don't know where he is. i'll go see if he's at his apartment. i know he wouldn't mess that up. (text sent) (text sent) (knocking) (text sent) (cellphone chiming) (text sent) gonna write him a note.

you can look so ordinary, or you can appear to not have anything wrong with you. and then when those times come, it's not pretty. it's, it's something you want to look away from. probably with every sort of episode i've had, i've lost friends or colleagues. i don't think we can look away from what's bad. so why would i look away from them when they're going through the hardest time? it's why there's people on the street, because everybody's looked away from them and said, "i can't."

♪ (gina sighs) - so, i got a call from probation saying they threatened to violate me on three different things. on, uh, not completing my substance abuse classes, not paying restitution, and, uh, not completing my community service. - you don't have to think, you just have to do it. right?

(keys clatter) - no, i don't. what's the point? i can't get a job. - what think you should do? you should start going some classes. - i'm not going to any classes. (slamming objects) i'm not going to any (muted) classes. gina: see, all summer, he was in all these hospital. so basically, he was not stable to, to go classes and stuff. i don't think they care.

(cellphone chiming) - uh, daniel brown. (woman responds) i want some of these. yeah. byrne: will you tell me about when i couldn't find you? daniel: aw, man, i had lost my phone. (muted) stole my phone, actually. i lost my bus card and my keys. (on-camera): and i want a cabbage. (voiceover): ended up staying with a friend, drinking. (on-camera): all right. (voiceover): but i always made it to my weekly appointments with my case worker so i wouldn't lose my apartment. i finally told them i lost my keys, and they gave me an extra set. - i know, in the beginning of this year, you know, you had some issues with just losing things

and getting them stolen. - yeah. - how have you been with that? - i've been working on it. - i mean, you haven't told me anything recently, but... - yeah, i've been doing better. - (laughs): okay. - i've been doing much better. - and then you gave your emergency keys to your nephew? - yeah, my nephew. - okay, i just want to make sure that, you know, you're taking care of yourself and staying safe. brigitte: he was drifting and getting off into trouble with the wrong people-- he know it. we calling you, no answer. phone going straight to voicemail. "okay, we going over there;" i said, "call the police "when you get there. "i do not want to find my brother dead in the house. something's wrong." and we went all over looking for him. then he just called one day out the blue. like, you don't do your family like that. he crazy, though-- he's kinda off, you know that? (laughing)

see? like right now-- you see him? get quiet and still and just stare off into space. yeah, that's daniel. angela: i called junior and asked him could i rent a room. staying with a ex is hard. byrne: so you aren't back together? - no. no, we're not back together. they did give me a timeframe of custody over anthony, and they gave me a year. this is a letter that says the court has granted an expungement on these cases right here. ♪ so right now, i'm waiting on another

psychological evaluation. every time i came into these hospitals, i was under the influence of pcp. i'm realizing that i'm a different person while i'm abusing these drugs. byrne: when do you feel like you really had this realization? - the second time around losing my parental rights. but i just realized i keep on falling to this same track. - you look good. - thank you. violet: um, what kind of meatballs are those? byrne: good meatballs made from chicken. (voiceover): success does not just look like one thing. success is a journey. i'll say,

filming with all of them is what made me go back to therapy. i thought, "well, if they are having to take care of themselves, then i also have to do the same." daniel: i'm an ambassador for up here, so i'm gonna stay outside and sign people up for the moving on program. man: oh, hey, i'm with it. - yeah, come on, i'll sign you up right now. (voiceover): i work two days a month now as an ambassador for the program that helped me move out. man: how long do you think it'll take to move? - i've seen people get out of here in seven months. all right, cool, i'm gonna turn this in to my boss. let me check my schedule, see if i have his new schedule. - nice to meet you, too. - nice to meet you, man. - yep. - hey, i'll sign up for sure. - all right, friday. - all right. - yep. ♪ byrne: i see you looking over there. - i know, that's where they at. i ain't finna go over there. - how come you're not going over there?

- 'cause i don't feel like being around all that weed. they got weed for me when i get back to oak park. (voiceover): to myself, i'm, like, a success story. i started out homeless, went and got a crib. i've been on the bottom, and now i feel like i'm a part of the human being race. - can i call you chief? - yeah, you can call me chief. dimitar: i decided to finish my probation requirements and complete my community service hours. it was the only option left. although my mind is plagued, when i look deep down inside, i honestly find love, self-respect, and hope for the future. i don't lose sleep over the crimes i committed. i do over consequences. enlightenment is addicting. i'm an addict.

♪ angela: now i actually feel like a whole totally different person. it's been over a year since i've used any drugs. now i've been in therapy, you know, for about six months. that actually seems to help, to be able to talk about my problems. and frankly, there's nothing to be ashamed of. i realize i'm not the only one who's been diagnosed with a mental health problem. and people wouldn't feel so alone. byrne: i think you are brave to tell your story. i think i figured out that the things that i've worked so hard to hide don't need to be hidden. that there's power in connecting.

they very much have been friends to me. angela: i'm just trying to just take one day at a time. daniel: every day, it's a struggle. you don't ever know what the next day holds. byrne: all of our days will continue on after this movie. - it's gonna be okay, mom, it's gonna be okay. dimitar: life sometimes is sad. and sometimes it's chaotic. but sometimes life is peachy. ♪ ♪

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del toro: stay up to date on america reframed at worldchannel.org. subscribe to world channel's youtube to go beyond the lens with our filmmakers. tell us what you think using #americareframed. major funding for america reframed was provided by the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation, wyncote foundation, the corporation for public broadcasting. additional funding for america reframed provided by open society foundations, acton family giving, park foundation, the national endowment for the arts, and the reva and david logan foundation.