and in '94, i met my birth mother in korea, and a lot of people asked me, like, "so how did you experience it?", you know? and they're all thinking, you know, "oh, that must be very emotional," and so on. ♪ i think back, there is so much emotion. it's too much for somebody, and that means they go numb. they can't feel anything anymore. i saw myself hugging, this mother and son. of course, you know, they were, everybody was crying, but was i crying because i was sad? i don't know-- maybe i was crying because everybody expected it, you know? and at that time, i was just like a robot, you know? i didn't feel anything. after i found my birth mother,

i tried to talk to my parents, but it was a catastrophe. it was just kind of like the world crashed. i was diagnosed, basically, with ptsd, post-traumatic stress disorder. i just didn't want to live anymore. i went up to school, and so many times, i just stood there on the ledge and thought, like, "should i jump?" so i told myself, you know, i convinced myself, "maybe not today, but i want to live another ten days." but so many times, i... it was really close, you know?

cooke-sampson: while in korea, i went on television on the missing persons show. i didn't hear anything from that. and then one day, i get a phone call from a gentleman named david, who says he's my brother. this family saw a picture of me on tv in korea, and he wanted to make contact and for us to get together and to, to come back into the family. i was elated. they had been searching for me all these years. he had a sister, angie, who lived in baltimore. she would have been my sister, but each of us were from different fathers. cooke-sampson: this is stacy, this is... and this is simone. simone: hi. angie: hi!

cooke-sampson: simone, this is angie. (laughing, talking at once) you got my aunt's nose. my mom had a nose job. cooke-sampson: oh. angie: you are like, more like... cooke-sampson: the aunt? angie: and me, i'm in between. up here is not... i'm like my father, picture of my father, and the bottom part is ma. and you, this part is your mom. stacy: yeah. mommy, it's like looking in the mirror. - i don't know, okay. - kind of clothes you wear. and you wear your pants up high like that. cooke-sampson: angie said my mannerisms were very much like the mother. and she told me the mother had just passed away. oh, this was last april-- two aprils ago? two years ago? - yes. we agreed that i thought it'd be best that i got a dna test. (in korean): - (repeating):

- love you, mom. - mm-hm! - cool. cooke-sampson: let me see if you're gonna be difficult. - my vein's good. i do believe it, almost 100%, that she is my sister, you know? (talking softly) angie: so that's it? cooke-sampson: that's it. i'll see you, and let's hope and pray that this... - oh, me, too, me, too. - ...that it'll be one week. i hope, one week, we'll be calling each other sister. - yeah, i hope so. - mm-hmm. (birds chirping) dae-won kim: it's a journey where i slowly started to learn, like, who am i? i grew up in switzerland,

but i'm korean, period. i had to learn a lot of things-- emotions. sadness, for example. i felt... (clears throat): sorry. yeah, i talk about that, then, yeah, i feel sad, you know? so... (clears throat) (exhales) i was not numb anymore. ♪ cooke-sampson: we got the dna testing. angie and david were definitely related. i was not.

♪ i had thought maybe now my heart could rest that i had my family, and i think that if i had not been through what i had been through, i don't think i would've had the moral courage to say to them, "i want to get a dna testing." i could have easily slipped right into the family, and, believe me, that thought crossed my mind, because when i saw how wonderful the family, i very much wanted to be part of the family. but i couldn't be dishonest, and i thought to myself, um, "i was adopted once. i don't want to be adopted twice." ♪ (speaking korean)

reporter (speaking korean): (reporter speaking korean) - (speaking korean) reporter (speaking korean): - (speaking korean): ♪

dae-won kim: we produced this book, and it shows, basically, like, pictures from adoptees who are looking for their parents. we distribute this booklet to district offices and other places where birth parents would go to if they are interested to find their children. ♪ cooke-sampson: as we were traveling around, we went to one city, and it had a train station, and it jogged my memory of where i possibly would have been from. i must have come from the south. ♪

minyoung kim (speaking korean): receptionist and minyoung kim: receptionist: minyoung kim: so, according to this document, which was written in 1955, your name was kang hyun-sook, and your baptism name was esther. how accurate was this? so i was born on march 15? 1953? how did i get september? ♪ what i wanted to find out was, did my mother really bring me to the orphanage, or was i a true orphan, in the sense that somebody found me in a trash can or on the church steps or something?

minyoung kim: so this is a baptism document of kids here... this is your name-- kang hyun-sook. see there? father, no information, and you are mixed-race, and your mom brought you here. - (quietly): my mother brought me here? - so... (speaks korean) this is, means "mom." (woman speaking korean) - she thinks your mom got you baptized, and brought you to this orphanage. (cooke-sampson crying) (sobbing): thank you for everything. ♪ cooke-sampson: i also remember another orphanage before st. paul's. ♪ cooke-sampson: oh, my goodness, this is... (woman speaking korean)

cooke-sampson: this one... this looks like this could be me. ♪ minyoung kim: let me see. - (crying): i think... (speaking korean): - (sobs, coughs) (speaking korean): (reporter speaking korean) ♪

trenka: the unwed-mother issue has been hidden from korean society. so we've tried to bring awareness to korea on that subject, and one of the ways that we've done that is through a single moms' day. (speaking korean): (audience applauding) ♪ (speaking korean):

- track stands for truth and reconciliation for the adoption community of korea, and we want to investigate the past and present adoption practices in korea so we can create a better future for korean families. i think in order to reduce the rate of adoptions of children who are being sent overseas from korea, we primarily have to take care of the single mothers. ♪ i was so lucky to know the love of my korean mother. i think that helped me to be more sympathetic to the families that lost their children, and also the unwed mothers who are struggling to keep their children. ♪ parents who lost children to adoption, adoptees, and lawyers, and then also the unwed mothers, formed a coalition. we wanted to change the special adoption law that governs international adoptions.

we're making our own bill that hopefully will go to the national assembly, and with this bill, we hope to prioritize the right of the single mother to keep her child instead of sending them for adoption. stoker: not all adoptees want to search for their birth families, but for those who do, we wanted access to birth family records for all adoptees. more financial support and community support for women who are unmarried and who want to raise their children. trenka: we went and talked with a lot of lawmakers, saying, "we want to preserve families first, "and then domestic adoption is okay, and then international adoption is okay." for once, we weren't the objects of these policies. we were actually taking some initiative for ourselves. ♪

dae-won kim: one of the things i wanted to achieve is dual citizenship for adoptees, because korean law did not permit dual citizenship at all. i decided, "let's do something about it." basically, a signature campaign on a worldwide basis. we sent it out everywhere, and we also published press release in the korean media about what we wanted to achieve, and, basically, within a week, the ministry of justice contacted us, and we had many meetings. eventually the law went to the parliament, it passed. i became the first adoptee to get korean citizenship back. ♪ i felt very proud and satisfied,

because for me, personally, it was something that was taken away from me against my own will, and i got it back. (singing in swedish) arctaedius: i feel very rooted and close with my family here. and i feel happy with my childhood. but i have this loss, and also i have this curiosity, so i want to search for my birth family. ♪ so i tried, and nothing came of it. when i was younger, i was thinking about my birth mother. but i felt that when i grew older, i came more close to her

because i was changing into a woman, like she must have been when she had me, and i was looking myself in the mirror, and i was thinking, "i'm seeing her." so it feels like i've met her in the mirror. ♪ cooke-sampson: i felt like i had finally come to the place where i had touched the earth before. seeing that photograph confirmed that, indeed, i was from somewhere down in busan. i didn't realize that i was at a orphanage for mixed children. (voice breaking): it was a, it was a happier time. ♪

there's no doubt in my mind that for probably 80% or more of koreans, that they do not acknowledge the mixed kids. that they do not acknowledge what happened in the past. but i belong to this country just as much as any other child born here. (people talking in background) (people laughing, talking) photographer: ready? one, two, three. (people laughing) (all singing in korean)

(singing continues) (song continues) cooke-sampson: "50% korean, 100% me." (song continues) ♪

♪ del toro: stay up to date on america reframed at worldchannel.org. subscribe to world channel's youtube to go beyond the lens with our filmmakers. tell us what you think using #americareframed. del toro: major funding for america reframed was provided by the john d. and catherine t. macarthur foundation, wyncote foundation, the corporation for public broadcasting. additional funding for america reframed provided by open society foundations, acton family giving, park foundation,

the national endowment for the arts, and the reva and david logan foundation. additional funding for this episode was provided by phi lambda charitable trust. ♪ ♪ recently, i decided to go on the journey to go find my dad, a man that i hadn't seen in 30 years. i remember the last time that i ever spoke to my dad. i was eight years old. i don't remember what it was. maybe he didn't come for a visit, or he missed my birthday, or didn't get me a present. i don't quite remember, but i do remember feeling angry.

i remember feeling hurt. and my mom encouraged me to tell him how i felt. now my mom never badmouthed my dad. she never said he was a bad guy or he was a bad father. and i think even at that young age i knew what she wanted and i think i knew what was expected. so when my mom encouraged me to tell him how i felt, i remember calling him up on the phone, my mom was next to me on the couch, and i blamed him for this thing, or that thing, and i don't even remember. but i remember the last thing i ever said to my dad on the phone. and i yelled into the phone, "i don't ever want to see you again!" and i didn't for 30 years. when i finally did decide to reach out to my dad, i went on facebook.

i knew he lived in new jersey because i remember visiting him there. so i typed in my last name. i typed in new jersey. i wasn't really expecting to find my 70-year-old dad on facebook, but i also knew that i had two half-sisters. so i think in the back of my mind i was thinking, "maybe i'll find my two half-sisters, and maybe i'll connect with my dad that way." so as i'm like scrolling through the results, eventually my gaze focused on this woman. she looked so familiar. i didn't know her, but i recognized her smile, because she had my smile. so i messaged her, and i said, "do you know so and so?" i gave her my dad's last name. "i think we're related." she didn't answer me for quite a while, but she did eventually respond and she said, "he's my uncle. who are you?" and just like that, i had a new cousin.

we eventually did connect by phone and we chatted. i was so nervous because this was the first time in three decades that i have any contact with that side of the family. we talked about the family, how i grew up. the most surprising thing that came out of that conversation was that she told me she knew i existed. she used to see pictures of me in my grandparents' basement. but whenever the topic of me would come up, it was quickly brushed under the rug. she eventually did ask me whether or not she wanted her to share the information with my dad to contact me. and i said, "absolutely, please." a couple of days later my dad called me. we chit-chatted for a little while, it was really superficial, and the conversation was over in about 20 minutes. it was one of the most awkward conversations i have ever had. and at the end of the call i said, "we should meet up."

but we didn't. not for another year. i thought i was ready when i began this journey. but because of all the emotions that got dragged up during this, uh, connection, i started feeling the hurt and the anger. but not the way i used to. because i think time does that. a year after that, i went down to new jersey to go meet my dad for the first time. a couple of days before that i had connected with my two half-sisters, and they told me that my dad was extremely nervous to meet with me. he didn't know if i was going to be angry, if i was going to lash out, what i was going to say. i met with my dad at a diner near his house. i got out of the car and i saw a man that looked

exactly like me. only 30 years older. i gave him a hug. i don't think he expected that. we went inside the diner, and we ordered, and we chit-chatted for a while. and eventually he asked me, "what do you want to know? i'll tell you anything you want to know." i think i've been waiting for this moment for 30 years and now i couldn't even look him in the eye. so i looked down, and i said, "i want to know if the memories that i have are mine. "i want to know where i came from. and i want to know what happened." i didn't ask him the question that i really wanted an answer to, which was, "why weren't you around? why didn't you try harder?"

he started to tell me about the memories that he had. he told me that he didn't blame my mother for leaving him because he knew he wasn't strong enough to keep her. he told me that we used to have weekend visits together. but whenever he dropped me off, my mother would start a fight with him, and he didn't want to fight. she would tell him not to come, and eventually she moved, and didn't tell him where we were going. it just got too hard. and i don't know if he meant that it was too hard for him, or it was too hard for me, or the both of us. he also told me that he thought about me all the time, especially during my birthday, and new year's. and he told me that he never moved, because in the back of his mind, he knew that i would find him one day. well, i guess here we are.

we talked that day for about three hours. and as he walked me back to my car, we made plans to meet up a month after that. it was my dad's 71st birthday. and he asked me, "are you happy that you came? did you get what you were looking for?" and i thought a lot about that on my way up back to boston. "did you get what you were looking for?" i think we both got what we were looking for that day. i got my answers and he got forgiveness.