[phone ringing] [dongseop speaks in korean] - he loves this attention. he eats it up. [laughing] when the phone rings, my stomach starts hurting. here we are again, dumb dumb against the world. my brain right now is actually scanning every single little thing that can go wrong because of this show and it's everything i ever wanted, recognition for this decade of hard work. yes, here is korea, but give me this little 10 by 10 room. come on. they always call me the, the [speaks korean], the american misses. to really find out who i am,

i don't think i'll ever have the answer to that. now as i've gotten older, perhaps i am reaching back to something familiar. so i made a place that i always wanted to go to and i'm making food that i always wanted to eat and comfort myself and then share that. [upbeat music fades] [ambient music] - (male announcer): support for reel south is provided by: [ambient room sound] - this is how much i love you to let you film me right now. i hope you understand that. [feet shuffling]

- this is so good. [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] good. okay, so i had a breakdown, i had a meltdown in front of customers, but it could've been a lot worse. you can see, this kitchen is open, that we are busting our butts and why can't people understand this is not fast food. - blah, blah, blah, blah [laughs]. - when she ordered, i told her, "the waiting time is going to be 40 minutes, would you like to wait or not?" no, she stands here, puts her hands behind her back like this, like she owns the place,

and keeps coming here and staring at me and going, [exhales] "huh. huh, huh, huh, huh. huuuh. huh." so finally, i lost it and i was like, "okay, everybody free. your food is free. everyone in this room, your food is free. here, here, what did you have?" i'm so darn sensitive. but being sensitive also makes me a pretty darn good cook. if i can just learn how to channel that. and i just can't ignore bad behavior. like i said last night, "give me this 10 by 10 room. give me this 10 x 10 room, please." [dongseop speaks indistinctly] and i owe you what? i owe you a fantastic burger at a very bargain price. now what am i gonna do? çchuckles]

- smoke. - oh! [soft music] ♪ [soft music continues] ♪ - i met dongseop after i had been in korea five days. [soft music] i got the job as an epik teacher and then he worked for the school that i had gotten placed at. i don't know. we just got really close. and it's one of those unexplainable things. totally unexpected. i still don't get it. [dongseop speaks in korean] i still don't get what that is we have. and it's always changing as the years go by,

but there's something, i think, that we see in each other in ourselves that makes sense and that's a very powerful thing. i got one pajeon order, okay? i was a teacher in korea for 15 years and i was conforming to korean culture for so long. and then, i'd always had this craving just to do my own thing, express my own identity. and then finally i thought, you know, the burger that i want to eat i have never eaten or seen or tasted in asia [grill sizzles] so i guess i gotta make it myself. [soft music] now, as i've gotten older, perhaps i am reaching back to something familiar. so i made a place that i always wanted to go to.

and i'm making food that i always wanted to eat and comfort myself, and then share that. they always call me the [speaks korean], the american missus. and a lot of them have commented online. oh, i feel like i'm in a foreign country when i walk through that door. i feel like i'm in america. i treat everybody like i would as if we were in tennessee. i also consider the korean culture while i'm here, but i also am like, "pick up your burger. don't eat it with a knife and fork. this ain't a michelin star restaurant, pick it up. eat it like an american." but if you don't want to, there's a knife and fork on your plate, you know? yes, here is korea, but give me this little 10 by 10 room. come on. give me this little 10 by 10 room. [customer speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean]

[soft music] [waves trickling] [bird cawing] [ambient nature sounds] [birds chirping] - i'm worried. - why? - i don't know what they gonna do. [reporter speaks in korean] and why don't we have vaccines? [reporter speaks in korean] - don't get. - i know. why? [dongseop speaks in korean]

- oh my god. [jessica laughs] [host speaks in korean] - she says that it's your playground. [host speaks in korean] [jessica laughs] [merchant speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [merchant sings in korean] [merchant speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] she was really on that day when ... [playful music] - i mean, it's okay.

and i got you got coffee. last time, i got coffee. - oh, good. yeah. [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] welcome to tennessee. i feel great here. [jessica speaks indistinctly] it's 8:15 in the morning. it's 8:15 in the morning. honey, it's starting. - tennessee table [speaks korean]. [dongseop speaks in korean] - see, this is so funny. on camera, he looks shy, right? on camera, he looks shy, but he loves the attention. he loves this attention. he eats it up. me, on camera, i don't care. i'm just like blah, blah, blah. i hate this crap. when the phone rings my stomach starts hurting. so he loves this attention. - what's up? come here.

- he loves this attention and i hate it. - no, i don't- - oh, yes, you do. yes, you do. [jessica speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] - because there on the phone my hometown [indistinct]. - oh, that's bull. - yeah. - you love all the attention. - no. - oh, yes, yes. - you try to ... - mm-hmm, mm-hmm. - watch out. - honey! honey! write down bacon. you won't get it if you don't write it down. make a memo. take a memo. [dongseop speaks in korean] - [speaks korean] and bacon. - oh, yeah. - and then, he'll come back, "oh, i cannot find, ah!" i've always been very introverted. but over the years, i mean, i can turn it on, boom.

but that's also exhausting and then we need some downtime after that because i'm a major introvert. i need to recharge. recharging is get away everybody, everything, except the puppy. my brain right now is actually scanning every single little thing that can go wrong because of this show. i'm thinking about there could be strange people coming in here or people could just judge me the way i'm judging myself when i'm looking like, "oh my god, it's the hunchback of sehwa, you know, because i didn't stand up straight in the show and i'm attacking myself. oh, i didn't stand up straight. oh, my hair looks terrible [mumbles]. women. so my brain is right now scanning every single little thing that could possibly go wrong because of this show.

and it's everything i ever wanted. recognition for this decade of hard work. but you know what? you know what's sad i'm realizing now? recognition, it's all right here, baby. [phone ringing] - [dongseop] yeah. - i'm gonna get the pork ready. [dongseop speaks in korean] [group speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] - you excited, baby? - this is insane. [ambient outdoor sounds] [low inaudible talking]

[squeaky door latch] [dongseop speaks in korean] [patrons chattering] [patrons chattering] [dongseop speaks in korean] [patrons chattering] [upbeat music]

♪ [grunts] ♪ [upbeat music continues] ♪ - [jessica] fork. [group laughs] [upbeat music] ♪ [upbeat music continues] ♪ [dongseop speaks indistinctly] - more this way? - no, this much. - look at ... [jessica speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica laughs] [dongseop speaks indistinctly] [jessica laughs] - we never had this we need a cover window.

oh, now it's- - i know. - because you made it. - i made? i made what? i didn't wanna do the damn tv show. i told you i didn't wanna do it. - you're the one that said, "we should do it. we should do it." - [laughs] really? i did a choice? - i can see everything here. - but i'm now dancing. you didn't see. you can't see outside? - a little. i hope not. [birds chirping] [drill whirring]

[birds chriping] [patrons chattering in korean] so i got a mohawk and i changed my hair. the shape that i like to do looks like an ice cream cone. so even on the tv show, this stuff, i've been called ice cream [speaks korean]. it's become quite a character of its own. then when i go out in town, people are like, "are you jessica?" and i'm like, "yeah." they're like, "i saw your ice cream [speaks korean], ha, ha, ha." and i'm like, "yeah." but it's also a shield, a defense. it makes me feel more powerful.

this is very purpose driven makeup. hopefully, it makes a shield, a wall of protection. i am trying to look fearsome. and being fearsome is a part of my true personality, otherwise, i would've not have been able to open a restaurant in a foreign country. hello, i'm nice, but don't mess with me. ah, russian red. whoa, power. that's a cock-a-doodle-doo. cock-a-doodle, don't mess with me. that is what has caused holes in the ozone layer.

not greenhouse gases, but just other women spraying hairspray. [patron speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [patrons chattering in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [group laughs] [patrons chattering in korean] - [jessica] me, i'm not famous. okay. [patron speaks in korean] we are at again. me and dongseop against the world. [patrons chattering in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] - thank you. - picture, please. - okay. [patrons chattering in korean]

- thank you. - thank you so much. [jessica speaks in korean] - i love you, jessica. - i love you. you're fabulous. - i love the tennessee. - [jessica] thank you. [phone rings] that's all. oh, no, nevermind, dang it. oh, next page. oh crap. [patron speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] - thank you. please tell her i said, "hello." - can i get a picture? - yeah. sure, sure. oh, that's so sweet. hi, grandma. [laughs] that's so cute. - [interviewer] you gonna get some help? another person working here? - well, the problem is in korea,

you know, they're really set on the age thing. so i have so many older customers right now. i'm worried about hiring a younger person because older people will not listen or follow a younger person. i do need somebody who's got thick skin and can handle not only the crazy customers running around here, but also handle me, which is like the gordon ramsay without the skill in the kitchen, so ... - [interviewer] you're getting close with the hair. - i am, aren't i? i am. [patrons chattering in korean] [phone ringing] [soft music]

[patron speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] - everyone, same time [speaks korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [patrons chattering in korean] - [speaks korean] one shot [speaks korean] same time. like, [speaks korean]. [jessica speaks in korean] so it's okay. everything's fine. okay. name? cheeseburger [speaks korean]. [patron speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean]

- set a, okay. would you like [speaks korean] or [speaks korean] coleslaw? [patron speaks in korean] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] love the energy today. this is fantastic. [soft music] [grill sizzles] [jessica speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [phone ringing] [insects buzzing] [wind blowing] [jessica speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [grill sizzles] [patrons chattering in korean]

- thank you. - thank you. goodbye. enjoy. [jessica speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] thank you. [patron speaks in korean] [patron speaks in korean] [slaps wall] [waves crashing] [mixer whirring] [phone rings] [patrons chattering in korean] [rain pattering] [rain pattering]

[rain pattering] [wind blowing] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica speaks in korean] [patrons chattering in korean] [grill sizzles] [jessica speaks in korean] - thank you so much. - thank you. [jessica laughs] [wind blowing]

[jessica screams] [dongseop speaks in korean] [jessica pants] - i can't breathe. [ambulence engine] [crickets chirping] [thunder rumbles] i dropped a pot of boiling water on my leg. - so we did riding ambulance. - ambulance, yeah. - 911 [laughs].

but, you know, korean 911 ambulance is free [laughs] - oh, that's as good as a firework show. oh. and this is one of my favorite moments with you, just sitting here watching a lightning storm. can we go to the beach and look at it? - yeah. [waves crashing] ah, the typhoon is gone. look at that. it's gone. [waves crashing] [birds squawking] - mmm!

[dongseop sings in korean] oh, it's huge. [dongseop sings in korean] [footsteps] [jessica sings in korean] come on, look at that, it's a beaut. i'm gonna look at my compost. are there worms in there? oh, there's grubs. i'm pretty sure that's a really good sign 'cause they're eating stuff and pooping it and that's wonderful. [jessica vocalizing] what is that growing? okay. sweet corn does not belong here. it does not belong in a windy environment.

i've been trying to grow sweet corn for about five years. why do i keep growing a sweet corn? because every year i grow that corn i start noticing that as the corn grows it detects that it's windy there so it starts growing a sturdier stalk. here, just like that corn, we have to adapt to here. no, this is the one place you are not allowed to yell at me. [patron speaks in korean] see you wednesday. [jessica laughs] bye, jessica. - i don't even know who that was. ♪ sometimes you wanna go where nobody knows your name ♪ ♪ and they're always glad you came ♪

to really find out who i am, you know, and what my purpose is on this earth, i don't think i'll ever have the answer to that, but through this creation of this house and this business, garden. hello, hello, hello. the things that originally came from here, from here, has gotten me a lot closer, you know? and i can't give that up. i'm gonna keep doing things like that that come from here, not from out there. live action, we have a fig ready. yes! is there any more?

that one was hiding. come on! [upbeat bluegrass music] [lily claps] - [lily] i grew up in birmingham, alabama in a white jewish family with my adopted sister. - [mother] lily! - [lily] like me, emily was adopted from korea when she was a baby, but unlike me, she's a mom. in 2019, emily traveled to korea to meet her birth mom. she recorded her journey. ♪ until now, i have never talked to my birth mom about why i was adopted. [speaking in korean] ♪

- [lily] i always question my identity. am i jewish enough? am i korean enough? it never feels as if i am enough. [ambient music] [people chattering] - [mother] hello, lily. hey, sweetheart. oh my god. [people chattering] - [lily] in just a few years, i look into the mirror and be surprised to see my korean face reflected back. [people chattering] but when you're raised to be a nice jewish girl from the south, what else could you expect? [people chattering]

i flew from korea with these other babies and we are going home to new, unknown families. [soft music] i know that i'm not the only adoptee conflicted about their identity. there are also the birth parents with their own stories. [soft music] so i want to explore my journey. - oh, there she is. oh, hi. - [lily] to speaking to my birth mother and a fellow korean adoptee. - emily flynn. - i'm clapping too, by the way. [emily laughs]

- [lily] by looking forward, as well as backward. okay. [soft music] [soft music continues] - [lily] like me, emily was adopted from korea when she was a baby. but unlike me, she's a mom. she's maybe a glimpse of what motherhood might look like. [dog barks] mostly growing up, you know, i really think i just wanted to fit in. and it was also during the '80's and so adoption during that time it was very much, you know, love is enough. it was very much like a colorblind approach.

so my parents raised us all the same, which meant white, right? they didn't know any korean. they didn't have any really interest in learning about the culture where i was born, so i grew up very much thinking that even though i looked asian and i looked korean, i felt that my personal being and my face still encompassed whiteness, if that makes any sense. - isn't that weird? - hi. - could you talk about when you had your first child, chloe, and what it felt like to finally kind of see someone that you were biologically related to?

- yeah, i mean, it changed my life. it really just kind of, like, you know, catapulted me out of the adoption fog and it really just connected me to my beginnings. and it wasn't until i became a mom until i actually wanted to delve deeper into korean culture and learn more about my adoption story. - [lily] i went to find my birth mother and father in korea when i was 19 because i wanted to meet them before they forgot the details. [soft music] until now, i have never talked to my birth mom about why i was adopted. [birth mom speaks in korean]

- so how did you decide to be a mom? [birth mom speaks in korean]

- i grew up in birmingham, alabama, in a white jewish family with my adopted sister. - meli, why don't you eat a cookie for daddy? and let's get that snotty nose, huh? - my parents wanted me to know about korea, but it wasn't interesting to me. [soft music] i always questioned my identity. am i jewish enough? am i korean enough? it never feels as if i am enough.

i was born in korea, but i enjoy making matzah ball soup. [soft music] i've grown to navigate white spaces [soft music] but i always feel a bit out of place. [birth mom speaks in korean]

so you didn't even know what my disability was? [birth mom speaks in korean] so after i was born they decided to give me up for adoption.

it wasn't before that? [birth mom speaks in korean] - [lily] in 2019, emily traveled to korea to meet her birth mom. she recorded her journey. - [emily] i'm meeting my birth mother for the first time. - that is exciting for you. - so much. - [speaker] who told you about birth mother? - [emily] i searched for her. it took two years. - mm-hmm.

- two years of searching. - very blessing for you. you're going to meet your mother because you spend your whole life without your mom. [emily cries] [plane engine roars] [soft music] [soft music continues] - [lily] now emily's a mother herself. having her own kids changed her. [soft music] emily was put up for adoption because her birth mom was a single mother.

[emily and mother cries] [emily's mother speaks in korean] [emily speaks in korean] [emily's mother speaks in korean]

- it's like looking in a mirror. [emily's mother speaks in korean] [person speaks in korean] from what i know, she was convinced to relinquish me because of her aunt and her aunt's boyfriend. and from my understanding is that 10 days after, you know, i was taken away she went back to try and get me back.

[birth mom speaks in korean] - look, look. - yes? - [mother] open, open it. i wanna see what that is. [soft music] wow, you know what that is? "the borrowers." - what's that a tape? - mm-hmm. - this is a tape! it's a tape. - do you know what that is?

it's a cowgirl outfit. - i hope it fits okay. - oh, that is so cute. - oh. - look at the present. - yeah, open more presents. - [mother] oh, my very fav, oh my heavens. i thought it was something else. it's my very favorite perfume. and look, you even got some silken body lotion. boy, do i need that. - [lily] emily is keeping in touch with her birth mom. she sent a package of korean food for the family. - whoa, yummy. - ooh, ramen. - [child] ramen. we needed some more. - oh my god. this pepper is from her friend's farm, ooh. - [child] i like the little thing there. - more. - wow. what do you guys say? - thank you. - thank you. - [emily] in korean.

[mother speaks in korean] [children speak in korean] say it again. look in the camera. [children speak in korean] [emily speaks in korean] [child speaks in korean] [soft music] - [lily] i was a teenager when i first at kimchi, a korean, fermented, spicy cabbage dish. [soft music] the smell takes me back to humid summer days outside seoul, my birth mom hanging laundry to dry [soft music] and dinner simmering on the stove. i realize i'm trying to make kimchi again because it does mean something to me. it is a part of me as much as the matzah ball soup,

perhaps even more. it's one way to reclaim in my identity and make it my own. [soft music] - today, i am getting a tattoo. i am 41 years old as of last friday. it's been something that i've been thinking about for a while. i don't know, i started kind of looking at korean folklore and stuff like that and i've seen pictures of, like, folk art of korean tigers,

you know, which is a really important animal in korean culture. and something about that really resonated with me. so i was like, "yes, that's it." so that's what i'm doing. i'm getting a korean tiger on my body today for the rest of my life. [tattoo gun whirs] all right, here. pull up my sleeve. - why? - here, pull it, so i can take my shirt off. - whoa, that's your tattoo? - yeah, what do you think? - why is it like all wrinkled at first? - [emily] well, they put plastic on it to keep it protected while it's healing. - that is cool. - you like it? - mm-hmm.

- you have any other thoughts or, like, questions about it? - hmm. yeah, i wonder why his eye is like this and the other is like this? - mm. mm-hmm. - [emily] need to study some korean folk painting. - but, yeah, i like all the stripes too. - mm, mm-hmm. [birth mother speaks in korean] - now i have ... mixed feelings about it. i'm very lucky to have had a really great childhood

and a sister and parents who love me and many opportunities that many people do not have basically because of my parents. but i feel like, you know, if there was a trade off because of that, because i was raised in america, without really meeting korean people or korean culture, so there's a part of me that feels like it's missing.

like, in america, some people question if i am america and then in korea they question if i am korean. so i feel like i don't really fit anywhere. [birth mother speaks in korean]

- mm-hmm. [birth mother speaks in korean] of course. i always want to come back. i miss your cooking. [birth mother speaks in korean] that's a lie [laughs]. [gentle music]

[birds chirping] ♪ [indistinct talking] [man softly chuckles] [cheering] [indistinct talking] [gentle music continues] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ [upbeat bluegrass music] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ - (male announcer): support for reel south is provided by:

- people might not express it, but there's gonna be a change in somebody's life. that's what i'm working for. - if we don't know our history, no one else is gonna teach it to us. - i'm formally announcing my candidacy for city council district eight. [crowd cheering] how my life becomes better is politics. - there came a point where it was either you can kill yourself, or you can be gay and surrender everything you've known and accepted to be true. - to really find out who i am, i don't think i'll ever have the answer to that. [ground exploding] - times like that, people come together. and i mean all of us pitching in, and that's when we started getting real. - i grew up very much thinking that even though i looked asian and i looked korean,

i felt that still encompassed whiteness. am i jewish enough? am i korean enough? it never feels as if i am enough. - i've always been a worrier. i don't trust people like i once did. - you know, i think everybody has something in their life that changes them. [dramatic music] ♪ - i love this place, and i hate this place. like, i am this place, you know? [ambient music] ♪ you're watching pbs. ♪ ♪ ♪