let me hear you tonight. >> it was pitched to be, hey, god's calling on your live. >> there's no religion in the world that talks about changing somebody's heart. >> down. >> let's go. you know you like it. >> parents that are sending their kids to these fun-sounding retreats have no idea what is actually going on in those woods back there. basically, if you're not beating your body and making it your slave, you're not a good christian. >> by that time, my body, i

believe, had begun to shut down and i wouldn't have survived if i had stayed. >> whoever speaking up most gets to shape the culture. >> i feel like a bull fighter. like i'm out there with the red thing and my goal is to jerk that out so that when they come, they run right into jesus. >> i had heard about teen mania when i was in high school. i think it was even junior high when i first started to hear about their youth conferences. as a teenager, i was really

intrigued by the fires and i found the people to be really intense and powerful. there was always lots of lighting and lots of sound and lots of music and so it was very -- looking back, it was very kind of out of body experience. and that was framed in a way that it was spiritual. it was a religious experience. >> the honor academy is a year-long program and it's designed for people to take a year of their life and building on the foundation going deep and

i will remind you, as you experience emotional, mental, or physical pain, the pain is simply weakness leaving your body. we are not going to feel sorry for you. please do not feel sorry for yourself. you won't last long if you start feeling sorry for yourself. >> this was the first time that she had seen me in a couple months and she just realized that there was something really wrong. >> down. >> by that time, my body, i believe, had begun to shut down and she decided to take me to the doctor and the doctor that i saw actually spent a huge amount of time with me and she just asked me if i wanted -- if i wanted to go back and i said i

don't want to go back. i wouldn't have survived if i had stayed. >> we know that people do their best learning not in a classroom but actually get out of a classroom and go experience real life. we want them to have nontraditional learning experiences. they have a lot of traditional learning experiences as well in lecture but we also want them to get out and learn some things about themselves that are normally not what you would experience. >> i'm very good with being yelled at. when i get yelled at, i tend to shake and really quiver and i fear if i do that, they will make me do pushups or make me work harder. >> pay attention! you are a loser! >> the generation has lost some of the fight that our previous generations had to make this nation what it is. and so events like this help to reinstill some of that, that you can give more than you think you can, especially if you're relying on the strength of the

lord. >> is it the standard to be afraid of the lord? >> no. >> i guess the standard needs some help here. are you going to help the standard here? once you get in, you can take them off of you, but you need to get in there first. can you read the bell? >> sir, no fear. >> we need you in the hole first. >> once you get in there, you can take them off, but don't hurt them. >> when i got back from texas, i couldn't leave the house and i couldn't wash dishes and i remember looking down into the sink of silverware and thinking, i can't do this. for such a long time it was just make it through the day. and i just had this panic rising within me because i was trying to remember who i was before teen mania and i just couldn't. i think that was a divining point for me where i realized that a lot of things have changed.

>> anxiety has a way of generalizing and spreading when it's out of control so that a person doesn't know what may set them off at any time so they may avoid everything. >> so you don't know quite what to expect when you go to texas? >> well, i'm interested in other people's experience. >> anything about it that particularly makes you nervous? >> yeah. a lot of things. it's the idea that they -- like manipulated me the first time around and kind of were able to surpass my ability to think and reason, that scares me the most. >> my thoughts about going back to texas are that she would almost feel compelled at some point to do it in order to prove to herself that she could master it.

i think she would have some doubts and reservations. >> let me hear your battle cry tonight! >> it was like a drug. i was hooked. i took my heartbul and some antacids. we're having mexican tonight, so another pill then? unless we eat later, then pill later? if i get a snack now, pill now? skip the snack, pill later... late dinner, pill now? aghh i've got heartburn in my head. [ male announcer ] stop the madness of treating frequent heartburn. it's simple with prilosec otc. one pill a day. twenty-four hours. zero heartburn. no heartburn in the first place. great. [ female announcer ] give a little cheer to a family of a soldier. just cut out the cheer from your specially marked box of cheerios, write your message, and we'll see that they get it. from your specially marked box of cheerios, ♪ ♪ ♪ when the things that you need ♪ ♪ come at just the right speed, that's logistics. ♪

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how are you? >> i'm good. >> you doing okay? >> so far, so good. >> all right. cool. >> i left 12 years ago and the first few years there was a lot of turmoil, condemnation and i started to get into therapy after a couple of years and started to work through the issues and really dig and go through the recovery process. and the last five years are -- i haven't really thought about teen mania all that much, i was working and got married and then a friend of a friend got me to

go to a cult seminar, about how cults work. and i thought that was really interesting. i was really surprised that what they were describing was what i experienced. everything was what i had gone through and that was a real light bulb moment for me. >> learning to live in the real world again, that's so hard. >> it is hard. >> and you keep -- or at least i did, i kept trying to make everyone conform to my way of living and they are not really saved. i'm the only one that's really saved around here. >> i got saved when i was 18. i didn't really know when what god was. i didn't really care about my relationship at the time. but once i experienced it, it

was like a drug, i was hooked. it was amazing. it definitely was life changing. >> let me hear your battle cry tonight! >> whoever speaks up most gets to shape the culture. >> i'm looking at a whole army of young people who want to speak out. >> the acquire the fire event is 27 hours. it starts friday, all day saturday, saturday night. it's a weekend event. where you kind of get detoxed from all the messaging that's crammed down your throat, with all of the media that most kids are watching and submerged in and enxtract them away from tha long enough and allow them to hear the message of the bible in the way that the cult is really

relevant to them. >> say to lord jesus tonight. >> tonight. >> i turn away. >> turn away. >> from the world. >> from the world. >> regardless. >> regardless. i turn away from sin. >> i turn away from sin. >> and i come to you. >> and i come to you. >> this year, we had almost 13,000 people together in an arena worshipping the lord and it's like a sound that i've never heard where you see thousands of teenagers, you know, that are really caught up in different things, just saying no to those things and really turning to the lord. so it's just an awesome experience for me. >> it was just a really life saving experience because i've never really heard god's voice intensely. i was just sitting down and i just really heard got speaking and said, okay -- >> what if you were the generation that by using your voice. >> there is also a lot of data

out that the younger people are that hear the message, the more likely they are to respond. so people, we humans, we think we are smart and 21, 25, we don't want to change our minds even if all of the logic is out there. >> so i have a question for you tonight. do you have a voice? >> yeah. >> if i've done everything that i'm known to do with a pure heart to communicate the message of christ, it's awesome to say, they are really responding to give their heart to the lord. >> once i saw the behind the scenes, it became very fake and it was all planned and all very much staged and it lost this sense of honesty and this genuine feeling that i had thought as a participant.

>> honestly, i feel like a bull fighter, that i'm out there with the red thing and my goal is to bring them to lord jesus and thousands of times, when i was 16, what you did inside this broken messed up kid, just do it to them. if you can change them the way you changed me, their lives would be a million percent better. >> educating people is the first step on the road to recovery. how they did it, that's the first part of it.

>> you know, how old were you when you first heard about teen mania? >> when i was 18 and i actually got saved. >> that's really pretty much the classic age for recruitment into groups like this because, you know, it's right at that -- on the cusp of, i'm about to go out on my own. >> how did you become involved in it? how did you hear of it? >> acquire the fire, i went with my youth group from the time that i was a sophomore through senior year. so i was used to it, looked forward to it every year, would wear my wrist bands for like months after ward. >> i went to it when i was 13 and didn't think about it again until i went to an atf when i went my senior year and so it was pitched to be like, hey, find out god's calling on your

life. and i was like, i want to know about god's calling on my life. >> the first time i went they just started the school of worship and i played guitar and sang and i was like, that's perfect. so it was a combination of a lot of things. honestly, everything looked appealing about it. >> i went to my first acquire the fire when i was 15. i was in the ninth grade. i just wanted to do something with my life, for it to have meaning. and the honor academy seemed like that fit the bill. i was going to be worshipping god and all of these things that counted for eternity. that's why i went there. and, of course, it didn't end up being anything that i was expecting. he talked many he into it and made me feel guilty.

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you're kidding me. really? here. come on. where'd you get it? we found it. it took five years. really? dear me! oh, yeah, dad. we found it. wow. and it's the same. yep. it's the same. [ man ] it's not just a car. it's all the memories and the feelings. it brings all that back. [ male announcer ] from fathers to sons, chevy runs deep. that stays even after i treat... [ male announcer ] truth is, most sinus formulas don't treat a cough. really? [ male announcer ] alka-seltzer plus sinus liquid gels fights sinus symptoms plus cough. you're good. [ male announcer ] thanks. that's the cold truth! you know what else is early? medicare open enrollment. now through december 7th. can i stick with my old medicare plan? sure! or find a new plan with better coverage, less cost,

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>> sir, no sir. >> you want to use the wimp out card? as of now you are wimping out. go ahead and climb back out. you wimped out. >> this is the emotionally stretching of the lifetime, life transforming event. >> everything was just really bad. >> i guess i was able to take to take the abuse myself. i just -- i just couldn't deal with that. and that was kind of the epitome of all the emotional abuse coming to the surface as well. that just really opened my eyes to what was happening. >> i remember, we got to sleep on the pavement for like an hour, and they would wake you up, make you go jump in the lake or wake you up and make you get in a pool filled with ice cold water. >> everyone was really cold and

we were all wet and stuff and we were shivering to the point where our teeth were chattering and it was like the introduction where dave would get up and introduce himself and i remember he said, stop shivering. you sound disgusting. and it's like dark and it's just a scary environment. >> we're going to keep them moving. as soon as your team is done -- >> don't spit them out. we'll make you eat them even even more. >> i want you to eat one handful. >> let's go. you know you like it. come on now. come on. it's not a social interaction

here. >> you could say fear factor and esoal beats fear esoal is really intense. you can ring out and you're required to give more than what you think you can give. it's creating a surreal environment where you can discover things in you that you didn't know were there. like, wow, i'm a quitter and with the hope of having them discover that they can dig deeper and trust in the lord more than they thought they might and you take a surreal moment like that and hopefully get an eternal moment in their life. >> i didn't want to do esoal and then he talked me into it and made me feel guilty, made me

feel like crap and i told him my knee -- he said, no, god will carry you through. you need to do esoal. and i didn't think that i could. they basically forced me into doing it. and for years they were not being encouraging and they come out here and find out what you're going to do i was like, i have to ring out and i have to get out of here. >> with us, you have to go to work the next day and if we run out at a certain time, there is no rest or recovery. it's almost like you were doubly punished for quitting.

>> when they get a commitment from one of the churches they ring the gong and that might mean 10 or 20 kids are coming from that youth group and have their life changed. you can see this picture up here with 36,000 people. about 15 people here put all of those guys in those seats. if you think, god, it's just me, you see 60,000 people here or whatever, wour. and then all of the ministry that happens. it's really teen mania. it's whether they change the world on mission trips or here in america. >> there is a shift and b shift. from like 9:00 in the morning until dinnertime and then b shift is after lunch until like

10:00 at night. >> dave pulled all of the graduate interns together to have a meeting because there weren't enough calls being made in global expeditions to get teens out on the mission's field. so we're moving all of the manpower. >> it's like at the acquire the fire and ge call center. that's all they care about. they tell you if you're not meeting your goals, you're not praying enough, not being spiritual enough or not working at this hard enough because you're not reaching this goal. >> my year was september 11th and we had a huge mass exodus of kids that were going on global mission trips that year and they did this whole thing, we are in a war, this is war time. which means that we were working overtime. so we were given new schedules, completely new schedules.

we were working ten-hour shifts instead of eight-hour shifts and we didn't have to use the accountability cards anymore. because we weren't accountable for going to church or reading our bible. >> right. >> wow. >> let me see if i can understand something. you paid to be there each month. plus, did you get paid for working? >> no. >> you would work ten hours a day and -- >> and you had to volunteer to work those extra hours but, of course, everyone did it because you were required to volunteer. and you were, i think when we first started out, we were required to make 90 calls a night. >> it's like a business. it sounds like a business. >> yeah. >> but really the truth is, a business treats its employees better. you know, you don't require all that overtime and impress people like that. >> it was like even getting up and going to the bathroom, you didn't have enough time.

>> i had to ask to go to the bathroom. ask if i can go to the bathroom like i was a kid in school. >> so this is your opportunity to do something different with your summer. >> when we were working, we wouldn't have like air conditioning on very high. it would probably be like 85 in the building. it would be very hot. there would be 100 people on the second floor in a small -- in a workplace but a small workplace. i felt like it was overcrowded. and that was a normal day. but for a tour, the air conditioning would be on. all of the would be cleaned. we just would lie. >> not everything in this culture is going to be good for me. it's like candy with poison in it. it really looks good but it's going to kill you. ♪ ♪

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crash has claimed another life. a survivor who survived initially died from her injuries. shocks continue to rattle oklahoma. that registered 5.6. that's the biggest ever recorded in that state. no reports of serious injuries. now back to "mind over mania." i have learned a lot of things with my walk with the lord. like i've learned not to be in fear of man, just getting rid of like different -- getting rid of a lot of things that are in my past and just being able to grow closer to him. >> honestly, the only person that i can think about is jesus christ. there are skills that we can pull from people, skills that we see, okay, i want to grow in that area, but in my perspective, i feel like those people are just following after

jesus, quite honestly. >> there are things that don't teach followers of christ, being known as those who are identified with him, then we need to be able to go, you know what? not everything in this culture is going to be good for me and it's like, it's like candy with poison in it. it really looks good but it's going to kill you. >> robert lived and wrote really the basic book. in that book he described what he called the eight conditions of a thought invoking environment. we're going to see if teen mania met those conditions at all. if they did, you can call it thought reform. you've been through thought reform. you've had that done to you.

>> geographical distance is a huge one. it's out in the middle of know where it's not by any significant city. >> right. >> it's 20, 30 minutes away. there's nothing around the campus. >> right. >> so right there you are isolated. >> communication. >> huge. >> i didn't talk to my sister. >> the only phone that you could use or that i had access to was in the middle of the hallway in the dorm. so i couldn't openly speak to my parents and tell them how i was feeling or what was going on. >> you step out of your own reality. you really experience the realities of the rest of the world. just taking away simple things

like commodities, american electronics and whatever, giving that away and seeing what really does matter. >> they actively promote the idea that ron, and dave are these magically anointed -- dave would tell the story as soon as the interns arrived where he almost died in africa and this woman prove if he sized to him that he was going to miraculously recover and he was to sweep the lives out of young people. that god was sent him to do this. so whatever he says is automatically credit ble and th same thing with ron, there's this mystical thing around him that you automatically believe what they say. >> i never asked people to become christian. i asked them to consider becoming followers of christ. people who would want to be known as christians, we ought to

be following god with all of our heart. you can't describe it with words. it's not just about going to church or saying a chant. it starts with an encounter where you invite him to take over your life and the bible calls it born again. he gives you a new heart. you can try but it's a miracle. >> i feel like they are trying to teach you to be perfect. >> right. >> there's nothing wrong with accountability. >> oh, wow. >> whether it's fast food and then fast movies and fast talking or whatever, you should always be fasting something. >> well, fasting was sitting

apart three days to fast food and really pursue what the lord is doing in our lives and just kind of spend that time doing what he's calling us and hearing sessions from speakers that come to us and then at the end we all get together and break fast together and talk about what the lord did in our lives during that time. >> you do have to have an accountability partner. like it's a requirement. so you're supposed to practice confession with them. >> they would say to us, even if you have the thought of doing something, you need to tell somebody right away. >> even just the thought. >> and i thought, that's kind of weird. just because it's a thought doesn't mean i'm going to act upon it. >> and if you are real, you show a genuine concern, it's immediately shot down with, oh, well, this is the answer to that instead of, well, let's approach this genuinely.

>> so they had stock answers for everything? >> yeah. >> anybody else that -- that's pretty strong right there. >> dave gives this definition of honor as the total con glom rags. he said that the whole bible is summed up in honor. we have the honor council and honor code and ring. it's this whole -- you can't even question -- isn't it really about honor in what about, i don't know, love? >> so here we are in texas in the rain and camouflage pan chos carrying a cross down the side of the road. back to more pills. the evening showings bring more pain and more pills. sealing the deal... when, hang on...

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they had you walk on the freeway? >> yes. they had me do that twice. basically, what would happen is they would wake you up early in the morning, blindfold you, put you on a bus, you're not allowed to talk. of course you couldn't see anything. they would drop you off in different locations in groups of seven or eight. and we got dropped off -- our first year we got dropped off in oklahoma. the rules are you cannot have a watch, have any money, and cannot ask questions and only take a ride for 20 minutes a at time and two days to get back to campus. and you had to carry a big cross, too. so we went to this church and it was raining. of course, whe to walk. they gave us camouflaged ponchos

carrying a cross down the side of the road. if that doesn't look like a cult, i don't know what it is. >> unreach people group, we get separated into two groups for missionaries and then tribal people and the tribal people -- we have a big campus out in the back, 400 acres. the tribal people go out there and as the missionary ries, we the opportunity to role play and reach them with a gospel. it's so much fun, even though we know them. >> they had this refugee camp up in the woods that we were supposed to go to. if we didn't make it there in time, then facilitators came after us and were able to drag us to the jail, which is the lady's shower house. and these are tiny ass showers and you had to sleep on the floor and didn't have blankets, of course, because it was jail.

>> it's not sanitary. >> how long were you there? >> i was in jail like 12-ish hours, because i went to jail at like 4:00 in the morning. >> you were in that shower stall jail for 12 hours? >> uh-huh. >> i'm sorry that that happened to you. >> uh-huh. >> that's horrible. >> it's really abusive. >> at the time, i thought it was great. >> did you really? >> uh-huh. because i'm like, i'm spending time with jesus. i just really thought it was hardcore sounding to say i spent my birthday in jail. >> what strikes me is that when y'all tell this, you kind of laugh and it -- >> you sort of smile, yeah, and instead of -- >> no big deal. >> and i'm sitting here horrified. >> uh-huh. >> parents that are sending their kids to do these fund-sounding retreats have no idea what is actually going on in those woods back there. >> yeah. >> this is abusive behavior. >> yeah. extremely. >> you know?

and no parent -- no normal healthy parent would ever want their children to go through that. >> did any of y'all tell your parents this story? >> i just started telling my parents about the internship after reading the blog. >> a lot of people told me that they don't want to tell their parents what happened because they don't want their parents to feel guilty for sending them there or for not -- they don't want their parents to know what they went through. it's too heart wrenching. i think that's why i wrote the blog, too. there's a lot of stephanies and hollies and micas and none of us deserve to be treated that way. >> i understand some people have felt really hurt. their negative experience may be because they so desperately don't want a "in your face" challenge that they are going to say, that's negative. why would you ask me to do that

kind of thing? that's why i say it's not for everybody. >> feeding your body, according to teen mania, would be to ignore any discomfort for exercise. basically, if you're not beating your body and making it your slave, you're not a good christian. >> all of that makes you stop thinking, what is my needs and what does god want for me in this situation? >> the thing is, you always have to think critically. think critically. so it was very confusing and critical. >> it was like, be a critical thinker but follow us. >> we're trying to train young people to think critically. for example, any time i teach, i tell the young people, don't just listen to what i say and think that it's true. you need to think about what i'm saying, is it the in the bible and is it true? don't go out there and say, dave

haas says this so i think that's true. >> basically, i don't think they wanted us to have emotions. they didn't care what was going on inside of us. >> i think teen mania does this and a lot of christians do this but especially teen mania. they associate whatever is a normal human emotion or interaction as wordily so you have to abstain it. even normal healthy development -- >> basically, robbing you of your humanity. >> uh-huh. >> we hold a high moral standard here. it's all biblical. live your life of excellence and discipline. all of this is under an overflow of good. so it's just really -- you see interns coming in and see different things that they are struggling with. so we adequately deal with these

cases with a counseling program and mentorship program. just different issues that they are struggling with. >> you are not allowed to have an opinion that is not held by the majority group. >> because what would happen if you did have your own opinion? if you voiced your own opinion? >> in the most minor thing that would happen is you would be judged by your peers or looked down upon. if it was a serious enough agreement, you know -- >> the fix-all solution was to tell them to leave. >> so we can stop the questions. >> exactly. >> let's engage in critical thinking and think for ourselves. we can't have any of that. >> no. >> there was no sense of who i was. i had completely lost anything and everything that was my identity before.

>> what do you snemean? >> i had no needs or wants or desires or goals outside of what teen mania told me that i had. a good way to put it would be to be a soul murder. that may be extreme but i think that's a good way of defining it. >> when i think about who i was before teen mania, it's -- it's almost like i'm in mourning and that's part of my own sort of recovery process, this idea of grieving for who i was, because so much of who i was, i feel, was taken away from me or in some cases suffocated to the point where i just didn't think that that part of who i am was ever going to come back.

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after people have been through a thought reform process, sometimes they'll have outbreaks of crying, of anxiety, panic even for no apparent reason, depression, even suicidal thoughts. >> ten years ago i would have checked almost all of these. >> yeah. >> all my college years, this is a description of my college years. >> oh, this whole thing? >> yeah, the whole page, you know, avoiding things, being incredibly irritable, having intense feelings, being numb, finding it hard to trust people, feeling depatched, losing interest, always on guard, always, absolutely.

>> i just had a lot of avoiding symptoms. i can't stomach a worship service anymore. it's not like anything bad happened in worship necessarily but it just reminds me of that and i can't stomach it. >> i'm just looking at the check list and thinking, yeah, di do have some of these symptoms. i think it's the whole avoiding the thoughts. like even the thought of teen mania. i think i'm just now realizing that, that what it was. >> the purpose of esoal is to create an environment that is safe and pushes people physically where they are beyond and emotional. by that i don't mean we don't waus people to have problems after esoal.

>> but in terms of the thought of process reform, all eight of them were active and are active at teen mania. >> great. >> it pisses me off that i fell for it all. >> is that your fault? >> no. >> no, it's not. >> i think the one thing that we're all guilty of is wanting to be good people, wanting to be good christians and wanting to help other people. >> yeah. >> that's what we're guilty of. >> they took that and used that against us and there's no reason for us to feel. >> yeah. >> bad about that. >> exactly. >> we were just kids. >> this is a lot to swallow, isn't it? >> yeah. >> but it wasn't your fault.

>> now, the honor academy is not for everyone and if you don't want that challenge, you know, probably not a good place for you to come. we want you to rise up and become leaders of jury generation and in order to be a leader, you need to know how to deal with very intense situations. >> it's taken me a decade to get to that point where i have -- i'm opening up and i'm having friends. because even two years ago, i didn't have a social life. i didn't socialize. that was just something -- i wasn't comfortable doing yet. >> you felt so alone and felt like nobody else really had that experience. >> yes, and it's okay where you are now and i know that you're

be dealing with a loss. >> it wasn't until a few months ago that i realized that i'm allowed to enjoy my life. i'm not angry about what happened to me for those two years that i was at teen mania, but i'm angry about the last -- the ten years following that, that i didn't think i could enjoy my life. and all of the crushing guilt and condemnation that i lived with, you know, that was ten years of my life, you know, all of my 20s. >> yeah. everybody's way of getting through this experience as healing, everybody's recovery is going to be different. and there's no cookie cutter way to do it. >> yeah. i don't even want to go home. because this has been so helpful and i feel like when i go back home i'm just going to be stuck. >> uh-huh. >> or like -- i mean, a back

pedal. >> i think the reality is, that's part of the isolation that you feel coming out of -- i mean, i was so lonely the first year out of the honor academy because nobody could relate to me. and that's not easy. it is hard. >> i think the weekend went really well. it gave me ideas of things that i still need to be aware of in any life in terms of recovery and i think it was just encouraging to be able to see the girls talk freely about things that maybe they hadn't been able to share with people before. and we had a really good cammaraderie together and i think that's always healing when you can be around people that are supportive.

>> this weekend was really good because it was a safe environment and i could really talk about my experience at the honor academy and i didn't feel awkward or uncomfortable or people were judging me or not understanding and i think that's the kind of environment that i need to be in in order to really recover. >> when we were at dinner, we were talking about putting your story up on the blog and what that meant to you. and i even -- even when that happened a. couple months ago, it was -- for me it wasn't really a question of if it happened or not. it was more of a question of -- is someone going to validate my experience? am i going to gain more confidence sharing my