♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> over three decades ago, a life time of mistrust led to a desperate crime. >> she looked at me the way my wife did. she was like all the others. >> and the drug-fueled joyride ended in the death of an innocent teenager. >> i felt numb and cold, but if

i didn't stop. i'd killed an innocent girl that didn't have it coming. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> and now comes the part which i really don't want anyone to know. >> they told me that i'd become such a monster that i had to be put away. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

california state prison solano is a level three security facility with over 6,000 inmates. and each one has a secret. admitting your crime can get you killed in prison, but for six months, our cameras will follow as five inmates do the unthinkable, tell the truth about their crimes. this is ronald brook's story. >> my name is ronald brook. i'm doing a life sentence for first-degree murder. i've been in prison for 30 years. i don't know if i'll ever get out. >> over three decades ago, ronald brook kidnapped teenager susan worthen and her friend at gunpoint. >> she had growled at me. now she was talking to another guy.

i felt the anger well up in me again. i turned my car around and went back to where they were parked. >> shut up! shut up! >> i felt numb and cold but i didn't stop. >> less than two weeks after the crime, brook was arrested and charged with first-degree murder. he has spent almost 30 years behind bars. >> when i come to prison, i felt that i was as low as i could get short of being in a grave. in fact, i thought i wouldn't live very long. i walked in the gates and i looked around and said, "well, i'm dead." >> ron brook had more than one reason to fear for his life. men with crimes against women are often targets for violence. >> i don't have a crime i can brag about because i'm in here for killing a girl. >> but ronald brook is about to put his life on the line. he's joined a controversial peer therapy group at solano where inmates admit their crimes to

each other. >> i just want to reiterate, and there's no need to reiterate it anymore after this, remember, we need to follow the ground rules and respect each other, maintain confidentiality at all costs and be as open as we can. and trust the process. >> many of the men in the group have never shared their stories with other inmates. earlier, shawn mefford shared his story with the group. he explained how a lifetime of abandonment and reckless behavior led to a crime that took decades to admit. a crime against a woman. this week's session is focused on the past. the counselors ask each of the inmates to go as far back as they can remember. now, ron brook must tell his story. >> i grew up in the san joaquin valley. and we moved a lot.

we'd spend a year or two in one place and then move. i didn't know how to build strong friendships with anyone, because by the time i got to know somebody, i was moving. my parents did the best they could. i don't know how to describe it. and i saw the miserable life that they had and i knew that's what i had ahead of me. i thought she was looking down on me. >> brook felt abandoned by his parents, but he says it was his mother who laid the foundation for his crime. >> when i was 5 or 6, i would play like any kid, and i would get bit by mosquitos like any kid. only when they'd bite me they'd make a blister. to keep them from getting infected my mother would wash me with rubbing alcohol.

it was like i was being set on fire, and i would scream. it was so bad at times that my father -- i could hear him go out the back door to get away from the sound. i can still hear the screams. and i remember it every time i smell alcohol. so that left me with a feeling of betrayal by my father for not stepping in to protect me and for my mother for causing so much pain. >> so ron, is it the women in your life close to you or not close to you, that caused you to turn into the monster you became? what is it? i think ron wants to understand why he's been so violent against women. and i think he has his, the story he has in his mind, it was ronald's mother putting alcohol on his sunburn, which i don't think that is what it was.

>> my sister sent me a picture, i don't have it anymore, of me and my brother when i was 4 years old. and i thought, what turned that kid, that innocent kid, into what i see in the mirror, into the monster? and i didn't know. i couldn't think it out. i started going back in my life, as far back as i could remember. it seemed to me that the turning point was with the mosquitos and the alcohol. >> an unhappy childhood doesn't justify murder. the counselors ask brook to identify the emotional triggers that cost susan worthen her life. >> and what i know about people who grew up that way, they try to find ways to feel like they have power or control. did you find other ways to try to feel like you had power and control?

>> i don't know, offhand. >> ronald brook's lifetime of anger towards women ended the life of susan worthen. but there are darker secrets from that night that may be more difficult to admit. >> i am quiet, because usually if people let their mouths run away, they end up saying things that they really shouldn't say. but in the group, i am not going to hold back my feelings if i can help it. >> what brook admits in this room in the upcoming weeks will put this new trust to the test. coming up, as his marriage falls apart, brook begins to unravel. >> we had been married about a year when she told me that she cheated on me. and later -- >> now, this was a stupid thing to do.

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in a remote area outside of atascadero, california, susan worthen was kidnapped and killed. the act of violence that took this teenager's life cost ron brook his freedom. ♪ ♪ ronald brook has spent more than half of his life behind bars. prison is the world he understands. >> you've got to remember,

prison's a perfect place for people who never grow up. for somebody with the mentality or the emotional state of a child, prison's perfect. they tell you when to get up. they tell you when to go to bed. they do your laundry for you, they cook your meals for you, tell you when to eat. they give you chores to do. if you're good, you get to go out and play in the park with the other kids. if you're bad, you go to your room. if you're really bad, they put you in a little special room. >> ronald brook feels his childhood was missing this kind of order and stability. in today's therapy session, ron brook is asked to talk about his marriage. a union, he claims, ended in betrayal. >> i married at too young of age, i was 22 -- 21, and she was 16. much too young for either one of us, really. we had been married about a year when she told me that she

cheated on me. and then within a couple weeks, she tells me she's pregnant. okay. can't be my kid. i'm unemployed. depressed. when i met my wife, i become totally devoted to her, and probably more than was mentally proper or emotionally safe. and that caused a lot of pain, she had betrayed me, kind of like my mother and some other girls. >> with almost 20 years of experience in the prison system, the group's facilitator, mike brewer, has spent a lot of time around inmates. he knows how to keep the men talking. >> when did you start using alcohol?

were you doing that to cover up being inadequate? >> i started using alcohol and drugs in high school. >> because of the inferior feelings you had? >> yes. >> that made you feel better? >> i didn't have to worry about the future if i was drunk or high. >> yes. >> brook's mistrust of women eventually led to the murder of susan worthen, but there are still details about that night that may be too dangerous to reveal. >> ron has some really deep and scary places inside of him. maybe dark places. those scary places aren't only -- i think they're things that hopped to him, but there are also things he did. >> the counselors are hoping brook will share exactly what he did to susan the night of the murder. as victim advocates, they know how hard it is to open up in the aftermath of a violent crime.

>> well, we're rape crisis counselors. that's our job. so that entails working with survivors on a daily basis and helping them through their healing process. >> marcia and diane's background helps them deal with inmates who have the most taboo of crimes, but for brook, his secret may be keeping him safe. >> on the yard, everybody wears a mask and they hide most of their life from everybody else because there are so many predators out there. emotional predators, physical predators. if they see a weakness, they take advantage of it. and you never can tell on the yard who is a predator and who is not. so you don't tell them about yourself. ♪ ♪

in prison, in the buildings and in the yard, a person doesn't normally show emotion. it's a sign of weakness. coming up, brook tries to run from his past. >> we are so high on adrenaline, that time almost stops. and later -- brook comes clean about the murder and reveals a shocking new detail about the night of the crime. >> i felt numb and cold but i didn't stop. ♪ ♪ [ male announcer ] everyone deserves the gift of a pain free holiday. ♪ this season, discover aleve. all day pain relief with just two pills.

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ like most prisons, solano operates like a small city. with the thriving underground industry involving the sale of drugs and other illegal items. but behind bars, your every move is watched. with no warning, your privacy might be shattered. >> what we will do is get the inmates out, strip them down,

take everything and send them to the yard and search every housing unit, every cell in the housing unit. >> the cadets have been brought in to look for illegal items from the outside, like drugs, tobacco and cell phones. >> we are conducting a cell search. cell phones were found in here at a previous date. >> who found it? >> this was a false bottom. >> these ones here you can generally buy them for $20. in here, they go from anywhere from $300 to $500. >> but the most dangerous items don't need to be smuggled in. >> this will do a massive amount of damage within seconds. >> weapons aren't the only contraband that can make life dangerous for the inmates and officers. >> this is an inmate manufactured pruno. it's made with bread, syrup, kool-aid, whatever type of sugary substance. this is alcohol.

it's got quite a kick and it's really nasty stuff. a little bit, one cup of this really wastes them. >> as the prison's black market continues to thrive, the inmates with legitimate employment are hard at work. these jobs are privileged and are only given to inmates with good behavior. >> basically, we're just cleaning up this mess, a bunch of weeds right here. >> whether legal or illegal, every inmate needs a job to survive, and ron brook is no exception. >> hello, this is my house. come on in. he spent the past three decades educating himself behind bars. >> when i first come to prison, i didn't have an education. i didn't have enough training to hold down a job. i had nowhere to go but up. and i seen opportunity. i saw job training, school.

this is an associate in electronics, certification in wireless communication. a way to become someone else. every chance i got, i took. >> after years of taking classes, brook finally found a skill that could make him money. >> this is a certificate from the blackstone career institute as a paralegal and legal assistant. >> brook is a jailhouse lawyer. a position like this can be very lucrative behind bars, but success is based entirely on how many inmates you work with. >> he's pretty good at it. i've known him for about four years. he's pretty sharp. i pick his brain whenever i get the chance. >> this job has cost brook his anonymity on the yard, making it harder to keep his secrets. >> okay, here, i know too many people on this yard. too many people know me.

and i'm just not used to that many people knowing me. i think it's a circumstance caused by my taking up the legal trade that i have. >> brook has spent years helping inmates get out of prison legally. but not so long ago, he was interested in a faster way out. >> now, this was a stupid thing to do. and i'm still paying for it today. but at the time, i didn't see as if i had anything to lose. i was young. i didn't want to grow old in prison. i met this guy in solidad. and we were sitting on the yard, and this guy says, "are you tired of being here?" and i go, "i sure am." he says, "well, do you want to leave?" and i said, "i sure do." he gets a job in the dry cleaner, where they have police uniforms and i'm working in the tv shop where they have wire

cutters with long handles. and come the day that we are supposed to leave, we meet halfway in the staff bathroom, shave off our beards, change into the uniforms. partner, he's got this clip board and he acts like he's writing while i point along the fence. we make it look like we're examining the fence. and i get out the wire cutters, and pop, pop, pop, pop! we run across this field, and we are so high on adrenaline, that time almost stops.

coming up, a convicted murderer creates a new life on the run. >> when you're guilty of something or you're on the run, you're running. even though nobody's chasing you. and later -- a confession in group puts inmate brook in danger. >> guys who do that kind of thing, he showed a lot of trust in the group.

hello. i'm milissa rehberger. the philippine military says an american teen has been recovered after being held in captivity by muslim mill at that points at ransom. he was captured five months ago. thousands of russians continue to protest against electoral fraud. demonstrators are calling for an end to prime minister vladimir putin's rule. it is the largest show of discontent in post-soviet

russia. more news coming up, now back to "conviction." ♪ ♪ in 1978, ronald brook decided he had enough of prison life. >> partner, he's got this clipboard and he acts like he's writing while i point along the fence. and i whip out the wire cutters and pop, pop, pop, pop! it took him less than a day to escape and six years of running to get caught. >> i had a good life in memphis. i was there, oh, about eight or nine months, and i met this very nice lady, and we got to liking each other and, eventually i moved in with her and her son,

and she didn't at any time know that i was on the run. ♪ ♪ how is it said, the guilty flee when no one pursues us? you know that? that's a fact. when you're guilty of something or you're on the run, you're running. even though nobody's chasing you. >> ron brook was comfortable in his new found domestic bliss, but he knew it wasn't built to last. a run-in with police marked an end to the fairytale. >> when they got me, it was the one time in five years that i had two i.d.s with me, two driver's licenses, and i hoped my wallet to get my driver's license out, and he saw the other one, and that's how i got caught. >> brook looked at this relationship as a turning point. >> i learned while i was with her that i could love a woman without her hurting me and

without giving all of myself to her to the point where i was vulnerable. >> brook never confessed his prison history to the woman he met on the run, but there are some secrets you can't escape. ♪ ♪ every inmate comes to prison carrying their crimes with them in more ways than one. they all have a set of papers detailing their offenses. these days, some inmates use these papers to brag about their crimes and gain respect. >> when i first came to prison, to ask somebody why they were in prison was like an accusation. but nowadays, the younger people coming in, it's just automatically saying, this is my paperwork, this is why i'm in prison, this is who i am.

>> for some inmates, showing these papers can be dangerous. prisoners with taboo crimes are often targets for violence. ronald brook may have something to hide but he's tired of running from the truth. >> what i usually do, i reach out down here and get my cases with my court papers in it and i said, "you want to know who i am, there it is, dig. i ain't going to go for it." >> over the years, brook became more comfortable with admitting his crimes and trusted his cellmate with his story. >> when i first came to this prison in 1997, i moved in with a man named jonesy. and we lived together for nine years and never had any arguments, which is rare in prison. we were best friends.

>> brook admitted details to the crime to jonesy that he hasn't told the group and jonesy took those secrets to the grave. >> his heart started giving him problems a year ago last march. right here in this bed, it was about 2:00 in the morning, and he just fell back without a word, and i did everything i knew to try to resuscitate him. he just slipped away right here in my arms. we have no control over where we live or how long we live there. so it's not safe to become emotionally attached to anybody. when i lost him, i lost a lot. >> telling his cellmate the truth about his crime was risky, but tomorrow, he'll have to put it all on the line and tell his story to the group.

>> during today's session, ronald brook will finally have to talk about the night he murdered susan worthen. >> this is the first time he is telling the story in such detail and yet, the emotional impact of what they did. when you put in all the details, and you begin to paint a picture, then you really get emotionally what happened. >> so try and complete the most most extensive crime impact statement you can, my perception of the crime. on november of 1975, i got into my car and started driving around. i had been drinking vodka and had taken a handful of codeine. i wasn't going anywhere in particular. i had been arguing with my wife again and just wanted to get away, away from her, away from home, away from everything. at about 2:00 or 3:00 in the

morning, i passed a car being driven by a girl. she looked to be about my age. appeared to be smiling, she looked over at me as i passed her. she looked at me the way my wife did, that hurt and made me angry. she was like all the others. i drove around some more, and by the time i finished the bottle of vodka, a liter or fifth, i don't remember, i was back in atascadero again. i passed the girl's car. and now she was talking to another guy. i felt the anger well up in me again. i turned my car around and went back to where they were parked. i pulled open the passenger side. it was a two-door car. i showed them that i had a gun. i ordered the driver to start

the car and drive around. i felt numb and cold but i didn't stop. coming up -- a shocking twist in the murder of susan worthen is finally revealed. >> ron, what was your intent when you picked them up? what were you going to do? >> probably to humiliate her. to have power over her. >> and later, an incident on the yard puts ron brook and the therapy group in jeopardy. >> first there's concern, concern for ron and honestly, concern for the group, because this group could go away. portable navigation. a bluetooth connection. a stolen vehicle locator. roadside assistance. and something that could help save your life - automatic help in a crash. it's the technology of five devices in one hard-working mirror. because life happens while you drive. this holiday, give someone you love an onstar fmv mirror for only 199.

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after 14 weeks in therapy, ron brook is finally telling the group about the night that he took the life of 18-year-old susan worthen. >> on november of 1975, i got into my car and started driving around.

>> high on alcohol and pills, brook's joy ride with a stolen gun took a dramatic turn when he encountered the girl. >> she looked at me real funny, like, and i got mad. i got mad at the way that she was looking at me. she looked at me the way my wife did, that hurt and made me angry. she was like all the others. i felt the anger well up in me again. she had growled at me and now she was talking to another guy. so i pulled up on the side street and walked over to their car. and showed my gun and got in. ♪ ♪ i ordered them out and made him get into the trunk of the car. i ordered her to get in the back

of the car, in the backseat, and then i tried to sexually assault the girl, but i couldn't perform, so there is more rage, more anger. i told the girl to get out of the car. i got out and went to the back and opened the trunk and let the guy out. the guy took off running, and i just -- there was that feeling, no control over anything, and i pointed the gun at the girl and pulled the trigger. i knew what i had done, but i could do nothing to help or undo it. two days later, the police came and arrested me. i didn't care. i was so depressed and tired that they could have walked up and shot me and i wouldn't have lifted a finger to stop them.

i think that's enough. >> you mentioned the way the girl was looking at you. did you feel that she was flirting with you or something? >> no. i felt she was looking down on me. >> and that's what provoked you to do what you did with her? >> yeah. >> susan's friend narrowly escaped losing his life that night. he was just an innocent bystander in ronald brook's desperate act. >> ron, what was your intent when you picked them up? what were you going to do? what did you think you were going to do? >> probably to humiliate her. to have power over her. >> and the guy was just along

because he was there? >> he was there, yeah. and i had power over him, too, with the gun. but she was the one that i had been put down by, the look at me, and so when i seen her again, i decided to show her. >> on december 7th, 1975, ronald brook was arrested in connection with the death of susan worthen. he was convicted of kidnapping, sexual assault and murder and sentenced to life in prison for his crimes. >> i am not a bank robber, and i'm not some guy that ripped off a bunch of drug dealers. i didn't do something that you brag about on the yard. i say, hey, i killed an innocent girl that didn't have it coming. ♪

>> ronald brook may claim he is not afraid to talk about his crime, but admitting to sexually assaulting his victim is risky. the members in the group have agreed to total confidentiality, but with a crime this taboo, he still runs the risk of having his story make its way to the yard. >> he was really armored. he was very apprehensive that his crime was -- especially the sexual aspect of it, in here is a touchy subject. guys who do that kind of thing, that was -- he showed a lot of trust in the group to have shared that with us. ♪ ♪ >> it's been three weeks since ronald brook admitted to assaulting and murdering his victim. the sexual nature of his crime

may be the reason brook was so hesitant to show his papers. if his story leaks onto the yard, he could be a target for violence. suddenly, a small riot erupts in the yard, and inmate brook is involved. >> all i really know is that it ♪ ♪ ♪ >> all i really know is that it appears that somehow or another it got out into the yard that he was a sex offender, and was confronted by a group of inmates and got into a fight around that. >> the brawl sends brook and the other white inmates involved to solano administrative segregation unit, otherwise known as the hole. officers will keep all the men

involved under lock and key until they can get to the bottom of the incident on the yard. as rumors swirl about what caused the riot, the counselors wonder whether brook's confession of his sexual crime is to blame. if the trust in the group had been breached, it would mean the end of the therapy program. >> my big concern is that it didn't come from this group and that's the part that i'm trying to process, and i'm going to feel a lot better when we find out, really, who started it as far as outing him into the yard. because that's very serious. coming up, the counselors learn the truth about the riot and get their first glimpse inside the hole, as members of the group confront the impact of their crimes.

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a fight on the yard sends ron brook to solano's administrative segregation unit. >> just as we were walking in, somebody told us that ron was in the hole. first, the concern was for ron, and honestly, concern for the group. was it something connected to the group? because this group could go away. >> the counselors fear someone in the group broke the confidentiality agreement and leaked the sexual nature of brook's crime on the yard. to know for sure, they have to visit brook in a place where they have never been before. >> i think sometimes they try to

protect us, and we don't see the reality of what it is here, and, yeah, this is a really hard place to be. >> administrative segregation is a prison within the prison. this area houses inmates who are under investigation, as well as inmates in protective custody who can't live with the general population. >> it's different than what i thought, in some ways, and it's also -- i don't know, it feels very -- it's a very oppressive feeling atmosphere. >> like the rest of the prison yard, the hole has its own social hierarchy. in here, it's harder to avoid becoming a part of it. the inmates are given only a few hours of free time every couple of days but even this time is not their own.

some of the inmates choose to participate in activities they would not consider on the yard. ron brook may be under pressure to blend in with the other white inmates. the order of the day is military style calisthenics. the privacy of this intense physical training is fiercely guarded, so we watch using the prison's closed-circuit camera system. brook is worried our cameras might attract unnecessary attention from the other inmates. he refuses to see marcia and diane, but agrees to speak with group facilitator mike brewer. brewer has worked in the prison system for almost 20 years and often acts as an inmate liaison for marcia and diane. >> we don't know. but if you're willing to continue, then i'll go ahead and continue. >> i think that he shut back down. it was not okay to be seen in

the hole. i don't think he wanted to be witnessed there, and i don't think that he wanted to be seen by us. >> he learns that the fight on the yard was not related to the sexual nature of inmate brook's crime. he claims that he was defending an inmate being forced to show his crime papers on the yard. with the group's integrity intact, marcia and diane must push on without him. the success of this therapy group depends on the men opening up to one another. >> you work on developing group that has intimacy and trust, and i think any time somebody exits from that group, that that causes some concern, and may actually change some of the dynamics. >> diane and marcia are concerned about how brook's absence will affect the group.

but their primary focus is on what inmate brook is missing. >> i'm sad that ron left. initially for sure, you know, because he's part of the group. he had a lot of work to do. he had spoken openly about his crime. we were just getting there. >> i thank you for being a part of my life today. >> this week, marcia and diane have invited victims of violent crimes to share their personal stories with the men. >> so the format today after check-in, each survivor will take half-hour, 45 minutes to tell their story, and then you all will be able to ask questions, and then we'll go to the next person. remember, that you have the right to ask any question, and they have the right not to answer any question. victims and offenders need each other, we believe, to really

complete the circle of healing. >> we're really here to have an honest dialogue. we're here to ask uncomfortable questions. we're here to hear the really hard stuff to hear. >> the feeling in the room is tense, as the men come face-to-face with the consequences of their actions. >> i left los angeles and moved from los angeles because my mother and my stepfather were robbed and shot in front of our house. it was a very traumatic experience. >> you know, i can think of 100 things that i robbed her from. and that's not fair. you know what? i'm just sorry for doing that. >> in february of '89, my 16-year-old son was murdered. he was shot to death by two people.

one was another 16-year-old, and the other one was his uncle, who was 40 years old. >> so -- and i keep remembering your voice about, "why did you kill my son?" and it touched me deep in my heart, and what i wanted to say was, "mother, i'm sorry i killed your son." i really am. and i needed to share that, and just thank you for coming. >> he said, is she related to the deceased? i said, "are you telling me my son is dead?" and they said yes. i felt like i had been hit by a semi. >> there's an expectation, i think, of a stereotype of who a survivor is, and you would expect her to be angry and to hate them.

how is that for you to hear somebody doesn't feel those things? >> i can't understand it. >> i think the victims that come in feel empowered by being able to tell their stories, and by having offenders get the pain, see the pain, feel the pain, that you, as a survivor, are experiencing. >> there are things that are said in this space that i just can't say to my loved ones, so this has been an instrumental part of my own process. >> you know, my idea of coming in here is not just from the standpoint of helping them to understand, you know. it's also helping me to heal. >> for many of the men in the group, this is the first time they are able to get any idea of the impact of their crimes, and learn that there is the possibility of forgiveness.

>> for the survivors i work with, that go to the prison, for them it's worse to think of that person's life -- offender's life never changing, that they are the same person they were when they went in. >> without you guys, we couldn't get to where we're at without your willingness to talk with us and to -- you know, we just appreciate that. >> when he is released from the hole, ronald brook will have to decide if he is willing to make himself vulnerable again and rejoin the group. the counselors hope he will take that chance. >> jesus said, if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. if you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will kill you.