you just trip over something? >> i don't remember, man. >> you don't remember. somebody help you fall? >> prison staff suspect an inmate is covering up his own brutal beating. >> i don't like using the same broom that everybody else uses. because then i'm just bringing their funk into my cell. >> two cell mates share deeply disturbing charges. >> when i was younger, i was a very, very bad person. something was broken. >> i ended up buying a chain saw

and cutting her corpse in about 15 different pieces. one victim's mother still lives the nightmare. >> i go by the dumpster and wonder is that is one of my daughter's last resting places. ♪ locked up, locked up, everybody locked up ♪ >> plucked from death row, another inmate tries to make a difference. ♪ amazing grace >> at the end of the day life is about choices. all of this stuff is an illusion. indiana's wabash valley

correctional facility houses nearly 2,200 inmates. more than one-third of them are doing time for serious violent crimes. unless isolated in solitary confinement, the vast majority of inmates live in two-man cells. pairings are critical and avoiding a volatile mix of cell mates is a constant challenge. >> we try to not put people that's doing life with people that go home next year or blacks with whites or white supremacist with somebody that might have a child molestation case, just to try to resolve the conflict before it happens. >> but even with careful screening, conflicts can still arise between cell mates. >> it was reported we just got an assault. there's a guy in the infirmary that has received several injuries to his facial and head area. and at this point, he's saying that he just had a seizure. so i think we're going to go

over and try to talk to him. i think they discovered he may have been assaulted with a hot pot. we're going to talk to him and see what we can find out from him and if he's willing to talk at all. >> the victim is curtis cash, who's serving a 29-year sentence for burglary. >> cash! >> yeah? >> what's up with you, man? you can stay laying down if you want to. >> it's all right. >> wanted to you, bud? >> i fell. >> you fell where? >> my cell. >> that's a pretty nasty fall. did you get dizzy? >> yeah. >> did you have a seizure? >> i don't remember. >> have you ever fell like this before since you've been here? >> no. >> first time? >> yeah. >> do you have any medical conditions that would make you fall? >> no. >> did you just trip over something? >> i don't remember, man. >> you don't remember? did somebody help you fall? >> no. >> is it safe to assume that probably something more than you falling happened that you just don't want to talk about? who do you live with? >> woods. >> woods? >> yeah. >> what's his first name?

>> i don't know. >> how long have you guys lived together? >> uh, probably eight months. >> eight months. and you think you're save going right back to the same cell you was in? >> yes. >> you don't think you'll fall again? >> no. >> so you think for whatever reason you fell this time for is over with and you won't fall no more? >> sure. >> you got to understand where i'm coming from? >> i do. >> we got to protect you. >> i fell. let's just leave it at that. >> so you don't want to talk about what happened then? >> no. just trying to get medical attention, man. >> i'm going to get you all fixed up. they've done some x-rays, right? all right. he reports that, you know, he had fallen in his cell, which is typical in prison. instead of these guys wanting to snitch on anybody, they'll say they fell or had a seizure or hitting his head playing basketball. but he's got substantial injuries. it looks like his jaw's possibly broken, his orbital's probably

fractured. the staff thinks that something was probably done with a hot pot. there's a broken hot pot inside the cell and the cell mate's been cuffed. we'll go over to him and see what he has to say. >> the cell mate is dana woods, serving 85 years for aggravated battery and confinement. >> pretty substantial injuries for just falling. >> well, i'm sure that the man has epileptic seizures and they came and found the man before on the floor. >> there was a lot of blood -- a lot of blood in the cell. >> right. he had a pretty good gash on his head. >> how'd the hot pot get broke? >> the hot pot? >> yeah, it was in your cell. >> it was broke, because we was fixing the hot pot before and it had been in the trash the whole time. >> i can tell you, i've been here 15 years and nobody has ever had a fall that looked like

that. >> he had to tell you he fell on the bed. >> i'm not going to tell you what he told me. he might have told me he fell, and he might have told me you beat the [ bleep ] out of him. >> no, he said -- thad be -- >> you're running around here assaulting people and i'm convinced that you did this. it's not a simple fall. but you're not going to man up and tell you what happened, why it happened, how it happened? >> the man's spraying blood all over the place. >> that's not the truth. that's not the truth at all and we both know it. so i'll make different housing arrangements for you if you don't want to actually tell me what was going on. he's maintaining the story that nothing happened, that he didn't do anything, the guy fell. so at this point, you know, we'll go in and i'm going to go look at the cell and see what it looks like. >> while violence between cell

mates is always a possibility in prison, for phillip stroud and curtis mcgrom, living together has had the opposite effect. >> is that that diabetic nasty peanut butter? >> it ain't got no taste to it. >> why don't you put a cookie on a peanut butter? >> that sounds like a snack. >> no, i don't need no more snacks. >> dear heavenly father, lord, we thank you for this meal. >> ah, old kurt. kurt is a good brother, man. he's a gentle giant. he's brought a lot of balance into my life. we've been cellies for almost two years. >> straud never imagined he'd have a cell matte. he used to be housed on indian's death row, living alone in his cell, awaiting execution. >> i'm in prison for three counts of murder, three counts of robbery, and two counts of dealing in cocaine. i spent three years on death

row. >> went on a robbery. a $500,000 score. it was a residence, a safe. three people, three innocent people ended up losing their life when they didn't have to. they didn't deserve to. >> stroud's victims were contractors, working at the home stroud and his accomplices robbed. stroud ordered the men tied up, then shot each in the head with a pistol. >> when i first walked on death row, the thing that hit me first was the silence, the absolutely

silence. walking on there was like the type of silence that takes you in. the type of silence that's listening to you, watching your every move to see how you're going to respond to it. i came on the unit, 23 years old, trying to project courage, confidence, and strength, but on the inside, i was upset, i was confused, and i was afraid. the thing i remember the most was the cold concrete floor under beneath my bare feet, and just sitting on the edge of that bunk, man and i just broke down and started crying and crying for all the people that i hurt, crying for justice, crying for my mother. you know what i mean? and during those three years, seven men, you know, were executed. they lost their lives. >> a change in indiana's capital punishment laws saved stroud

from joining them. his sentence was commuted to three life terms without the possibility of parole, but stroud's salvation did not immediately make him a better inmate. >> i was the thug of them all. i was the chief sinner among all sinners. i was the bully's bully. i could make things move the way i wanted to make them move. you know, that was just the gift that i had. >> that all changed we found himself sharing a cell with mcgrom, who's serving 40 years for armed robbery and criminal confinement. >> when i first came over here, he was kind of real rough around the edges, but me being the mellow type guy, you know, i'm low key guy that came through me to help straighten him out a little bit. >> you're starting to thin out a little bit on the top. >> that's my rooftop, man. sunroof. >> that's your convertible? >> he's changed a whole lot.

you know, i'm proud of myself that god used me to work with him, you know, after his reputation around the prison and on the street. i'm just thankful that i can be used, you know, and i've got a brother like this that's brought so much balance to my life. >> just as he credits mcgrom with helping him become a better man, stroud says he's determined to pay it forward. he spends his free time tutoring other inmates, like kieno austin, who's trying to earn his ged. >> what would be the answer to that? >> oh -- >> it's to the left -- >> oh. >> we try to learn ways to settle disputes without resorting to violence. just use the platform and the credibility that we do have from our past lives to try to effect

positive change on these youngsters' lives. in here and on the streets. >> you're doing good, man. man, you catch on quick. for real, for real. coming up, two cell mates with two unthinkable crimes. and later -- >> what have you seen so far? >> prison surveillance footage provides a new video as investigators try to figure out what happened to curtis cash. and whether his cell mate should bare the blame. zzy. surprise! surprise! surprise! surprise! [ woman ] happy birthday! [ male announcer ] some parties need a bowl of queso. made from creamy velveeta and zesty rotel tomatoes and green chiles. it makes any get-together better. what is it about taking a first step that we find so compelling? and green chiles. is it because taking a step represents hope? or triumph? at genworth, we believe in taking small steps every day to keep your promises, protect what matters, and prepare for a secure financial future.

no matter where you want to go, one step at a time is the only way to get there. go to genworth.com/promises. when bp made a commitment to the gulf, we knew it would take time, but we were determined to see it through. today, while our work continues, i want to update you on the progress: bp has set aside 20 billion dollars to fund economic and environmental recovery. we're paying for all spill- related clean-up costs. and we've established a 500 million dollar fund so independent scientists can study the gulf's wildlife and environment for ten years. thousands of environmental samples from across the gulf have been analyzed by independent labs under the direction of the us coast guard. i'm glad to report all beaches and waters are open for everyone to enjoy. and the economy is showing progress with many areas on the gulf coast having their best tourism seasons in years. i was born here, i'm still here and so is bp.

we're committed to the gulf for everyone who loves it, and everyone who calls it home. yeah, our low prices are even lower. we need to teach her how to walk. she is taking up valuable cart space. aren't you, honey? [ male announcer ] it's our biggest clearance event of the year where our prices are even lower. save money. live better. walmart.

at indiana's wabash correctional facility, most of the inmates live in two-man cells. and like any two peoples sharing close quarters, cleanliness is vital. >> why are you sweeping with your hands? >> i don't like using the same broom that everybody else uses,

because then i'm just bringing their funk into my cell. >> when do you think we're going to do that spring cleaning? >> well, it's not going to be today, because i'm already cleaning the floor. >> well, that's fine, i was just asking. i'll probably make time for it some time on the weekend. >> let's do it sunday. let's plan on sunday. >> all right. >> cell mates for about a year, joshua bean and justin trobrich might have different priorities, but they share the stigma of having separately committed, unthinkable crimes. >> from day one, i've known that the things that i've done, even among criminals, was way, way off, you know, in the deep end. when i was younger, i was a

very, very bad person. something was broken. and i just -- i didn't think, like other kids my age did. >> trowbridge was 14 years old the day he committed the heinous crimes that brought him to prison. he was high on inhalants. his victim was a 69-year-old female neighbor who was working in the backyard of her trailer home. >> i see that her front door is open and me being the person that i was, that clicked. okay. go get some money. and that was my intent when i went up in there. and she came in and she actually scared me when she came in, because i didn't know that she came in. and i attacked her. and i sexually assaulted her.

and i killed her. and i robbed her. and then i left. the poor woman didn't stand a chance. >> prosecutors determined the trowbridge not only strangled his victim, but sexually assaulted her after her death. he was sentenced to 77 years for robbery, murder, and abuse of a corpse. he has already served 15 and with good behavior could be out of prison by age 50. he currently lives in wabash's protective custody unit, which houses inmates whose lives could be at risk in general population due to the nature of their crimes. trowbridge's cell mate, joshua bean, shares the same unusual pairings of convictions. murder and abuse of a corpse.

he's serving 68 years. the victim was his ex-girlfriend, heather norris. >> it was a toxic relationship. it was love/hate. and i still very much love her. >> throughout the couple's three-year relationship, heather had told her family that bean was physically abusive, and even though bean faced a pending trial on domestic abuse charges at the time of heather's murder, he says he wasn't abusive. >> the whole thing was predicated on a lie. and the lie is that we had a violent relationship. >> i'm not going to say i'm not without fault, but as far as what happened with her death, worst case, voluntary manslaughter. best case, self-defense. >> bean insists the couple had

an argument and heather came at him with a knife. >> i was able to get ahold of her former and try to pry the knife out of her hand, and even still, after i had the knife, she continued to come for it. that kind of caught me off guard and in the heat of the moment, i reacted. i stabbed her in the side right here. >> but according to court records, bean had confessed to a friend that he had stabbed sever heather several times and stabbed her throat. no one knows for sure because her body was never recovered. >> i decided to try to do something with the body. i thought, well, cremation. but at the time, i didn't know the specifics behind it. so i made an attempt to burn her body, a botched attempt. i ended up buying a chainsaw.

that's what people can't get past, is what happened after. coming up, the mother of josh bean's victim speaks out. >> i go by a dumpster and i wonder if that's one of my daughter's last resting places. >> but first -- >> it looks like he probably tried to clean the blood up first before the staff arrived. there's blood on the bedding, some on the back window. >> investigator littlejohn tries to determine if one cell is an accident scene or a crime scene. and -- ♪ saved from death row, phillip stroud leads the choir. ♪ are even lower. we need to teach her how to walk. she is taking up valuable cart space. aren't you, honey? [ male announcer ] it's our biggest clearance event of the year where our prices are even lower. save money. live better. walmart.

at indiana's wabash valley correctional facility, the m-house cell block has been put on lockdown, limiting movement of all inmates until

investigators can determine the cause of curtis cash's severe facial injuries. both cash and his cell mate dana woods claim cash simply fell. but internal affairs investigator frank littlejohn suspects a cover-up. >> the suspect probably told the victim, you know, you better not tell on me. say you fell. that's pretty typical in these types of situation. nobody follows and receives that many injuries. >> little johns suspects woods might have used the hot pot to assault his cell mate. >> this is what was retrieved out of the cell? >> and the hot pot was down in the trash. >> littlejohn's next step is to investigate the cell itself. >> it looks like, obviously, you can see probably a little blood here. looks like he probably tried to clean the blood up, actually, before the staff arrived. there's blood on the bedding, some on the back window. so it was probably a little struggle. it looks like he's already packed his property.

that's pretty typical, when something happens, they go ahead and pack their stuff up, so officers don't get things mixed up or whatever, so he's ready to go to segregation. he knew he would be going. >> littlejohn also checks cell house surveillance footage. while there is no coverage inside the cell, he wants to rule out the possibility of another assailant entering the cell. >> all right, earl, what have you seen so far? >> absolutely nothing. nobody goes in, nobody comes out. they didn't go up for breakfast, they didn't go out for lunch. >> and nobody's been in or out in between breakfast and lunch? >> nobody's been in or out. you're gong to see the officers are at the cell. this is offender cash. he's the offender with the injuries. and this is the cell mate coming out. >> the video doesn't show anything as far as an assault taking place. it does show that nobody entered or exited the cell other than the two and they didn't come out for breakfast, didn't come out for lunch. so whatever happened obviously happened inside the cell. >> woods was taken to the custody control unit, a

high-security cell block where he'll be locked in a single-person cell 23 hours a day pending the final results of the investigation. >> go ahead and strip out. socks, everything. everything. go ahead and put that on. >> they put us in a room. they don't give us no manual to the teach us how to live in a box with another man. it's really hard. really hard. especially if they have seizures, any time they hurt themselves, you get blamed for it. coming up, joshua bean faces new troubles following a shakedown. >> bean, right? right now i've got this testing positive for methamphetamine. >> and later his victim's mother talks about the brutality of her daughter's murder.

>> i have nightmares that heather's last moments was calling out for me to help her. . this is mary... who has a million things to pick up each month on top of her prescriptions. so she was thrilled that her walgreens pharmacist recommended a 3-month supply and would always be there to answer questions about her health. now mary gets 3 refills in one and for 3 months, she's done. more or less. ask your pharmacist about a 90 day supply today. walgreens. there's a way to stay well.

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hey, this. i'm veronica de la cruz. here's what's happening. police in los angeles are releasing surveillance video of a man wanted for questioning in connection with a rash of 43 suspicious car fires in the city. the man was seen on saturday emerging from a parking structure that was the scene of a car fire. and the manhunt continues in washington's mt. rainier national park for a gunman who shot and killed a park ranger during a routine traffic stop. the park has been shut down. i'm veronica de la cruz. now back to our program. msnbc, this is where it be.

lockup. yeah. steps you don't want to follow. because it's a hard pill to swallow. tomorrow is a promise, because today is a dream. there's nowhere left to run, there's nowhere left for you to hide. there's no ways out except parole and suicide. i suggest you stay away from here and follow god. this isn't place you want to be, because prison life is hard. lockup, lock up, everybody locked up. this ain't the place you want to be, because prison life is hard. lockup, lockup. this ain't the place you want to be, because prison life is hard. stay free. keep it real. peace. >> though phillip stroud will never live life beyond the perimeter fences of indiana's wabash valley correctional

facility, he has found another means of liberation. >> music, to me, is more important than food, more important than water, more important than anything. it makes me free. it just makes me free. >> stroud makes the proiz choir. they perform during sunday church services and at special events. and his cell mate, curtis mcgrom, has been a constant source of help and inspiration. >> you had your chance, you should have made a change. there's nowhere you can run, there's nowhere left for you to hide. this ain't the way you want to die. so i suggest you stay away from here and fol god. i know what's hard out on those streets but prison life is harder. >> that's a go ahead one right there. that's one of the best ones i've

heard him sing right there. he raps a lot, he sings a lot. you know, it can be 3:00 in the morning and i'll be asleep and he'll be waking up me up wanting to write a rap for church. so i'll wake up and help him with it. i look at it like i'm a mentor for him. >> what position am i playing in the choir. do-da-doo-doo. >> i can't do that. i just stereotyped you, just based on your stomach. >> that's all right. ♪ amazing grace, how sweet the sound ♪ ♪ that saved a wretch like mow ♪ i once was lost >> awaiting execution on death row, stroud is now serving three life sentences without the possibility of parole for murder. >> i've been using my street

credibility to power my testimony, my music, just to try to influence them in a different direction, you know? because a lot of people do look towards me. ♪ amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me ♪ >> it's been 11 years since the cold-blooded triple murder that brought stroud to prison. for the past several years, he has had a clean conduct record and says he's committed to becoming a new man, one very different than the one who used to wreak havoc on the streets. >> if you have something that i wanted, whether it was your girlfriend, your car, your money, your territory, whatever, if i wanted that, i was coming to get that. >> if you try to come get it from me, i was coming to get you. if i was coming to see you, it

was over with. usually, i'd probably be the last person that you would see, you know? i was the nuclear option. ♪ power, power ♪ >> at the end of the day, life is about choices. all of this stuff is an illusion. the life i led on the streets with, the dope dealing, the gang banging, the getting drunk, getting high. if you really want to keep it real, you've got to make better choices than the ones we made, because that life will lead you down one of three paths. death, a life in prison, or empty existence on the streets. ♪ >> that wasn't that bad for our first go-around. >> while stroud uses music to escape the restraints of prison, many others turn to drugs. and despite the efforts of

staff, drugs are smuggled into the prison. trafficking and abuse posts security problems. corrections officers conduct surprise shakedowns to surprise and confiscate drugs. often with the use of a drug detection dog. inmates are also required to give urine samples. today's target is the protective custody unit. >> bring them out and set them down. >> 504! >> remember, these guys are all in protective custody, so put a little space between them. >> among those to be searched and tested are two of wabash's more high-profile inmates, joshua bean and dustin trowbridge.

>> open 504! >> shortly after, bean and trowbridge are allowed back into their cell. corrections officers arrive to administer the drug tests. >> we test for benzodiazepines, cocaine, marijuana. bean? >> the containers are designed with a drug detection patch that provides immediate results. >> all right. bean, right? right now i've got you showing a presumptive positive for methamphetamine. do you want to -- >> send it to the lab. there's no way. >> if an inmate tests positive, he can request a second test at an outside lab.

bean is confident his positive test is the result of a prescription drug he's allowed to take. >> i'm on wellbutrin, i'm almost positive that's what it is. they'll be able to tell that in a lab, though, right? >> yes. >> getting narcotics or anything like that back here is next to impossible. so i don't -- i don't have a doubt when it goes to the lab i'll be all right. >> for bean, a positive drug test could result in a transfer out of the protective custody unit, where the high-profile nature of his crime, the murder of his ex-girlfriend and destroying her corpse, could make him a target among other inmates. >> i haven't been anywhere, even in the county, in prison, where i didn't run into medicine who knew who i was. it follows you everywhere. i tested positive for pot a year

or two ago, and they took me to g-house, and i was there for maybe a half hour, and i had four or five people who said, look, if you don't get out of here, we're just going to straight stab you. coming up, investigators reach conclusions on both curtis cash and joshua bean. she is taking up valuable cart space. aren't you, honey? [ male announcer ] it's our biggest clearance event of the year where our prices are even lower. save money. live better. walmart. of the year where our prices are even lower. what is it about taking a first step that we find so compelling? is it because taking a step represents hope? or triumph? at genworth, we believe in taking small steps every day to keep your promises, protect what matters, and prepare for a secure financial future. no matter where you want to go, one step at a time is the only way to get there. go to genworth.com/promises.

it's been nearly a week since wabash valley inmate dana woods has been accused of brutally beating his cell mate. curtis cash suffered a broken jaw and a a bloodied face. since then, woods has been on a 23-hour lockdown in the custody control unit as internal affairs completed its investigation. >> it appeared upon the scene

when we arrived that cash had been assaulted by woods with a hot pot. he had sustained some lacerations to his face, multiple bruising to his neck, and all over his body, where it appeared to us that he had been kicked. >> but both cell mates are sticking to the same story, that cash's injuries were the result of falling down in the cell. >> because of the lack of cooperation from the alleged assailant and the alleged victim, we did not file any external or internal charges on mr. woods or mr. cash. >> both of these guys have a lot of years left in prison, so it's normal for the victim to not to want to talk, because he's got to do a lot of years in here. he doesn't want to be labeled as a snitch, because that would further the probability that he would be assaulted in the future. you can't make him talk. >> woods was released from the custody control unit and returned to general population. but he's been given a new cell

assignment in another housing unit. >> we've got to get along in here. i mean, you've got to. >> yeah. we get along good. >> have you seen cash since the altercation? >> no. no, he's on the other side of the prison. >> did you guys leave on good terms? >> of course. >> other in the protective custody unit, joshua bean has received word on his ongoing investigation. after testing positive for methamphetamines during a recent shakedown, bean requested that an outside lab conduct its own tests. the results came back negative, backing up bean's claims. >> i take wellbutrin, and pretty much everybody that takes wellbutrin in here tested pott for methamphetamine. >> thanks. >> you're welcome. >> that's what i figured it would be from the beginning, after i tested positive, because

i knew i didn't been doing anything. >> open your mouth. thank you. >> although the prescription drug often creates problems whenever's he's tested, according to bean, it's become his lifeline. he says he needs the drug to deal with the anxiety and stress for being incarcerated for the murder of his girlfriend. >> just when i think i have a grip on it, these wounds or scar tissue, you know, they thought was healed just opens back up all over again. and i'm, you know, sometimes even partially in tears. sometimes i just want to hit the "off" switch when i don't have one. there's no on and off to this kind of stuff. it happens when it happens, and i just got to deal with it. >> on the eve of his 30th birthday, bean's cell mate, dustin trowbridge has spent nearly half of his life in prison for murdering and sexually assaulting a

69-year-old woman. he, too, attempts to make peace with the past. >> i didn't used to like myself. i had a lot of hatred towards myself for a long time. on the back of my arms, it says, "freak of nature." that means "freak." that's "nature." you know, i started seeing things completely different. i started understanding things different too. and i changed. i don't want to say it's because i found god or anything like that, because, truthfully, that all came afterwards. i didn't really get religious or anything until years after i figured out what a piece of crap i really was. coming up -- >> i could never ask you to forgive me for the horrible things i did to you. >> cell mates justin trowbridge

and justin bean reach out to the families of the women who they not only murdered but bodies they desecrated. >> i only loved you. >> but the mother of his victim has a very different account. >> i know that heather was beaten by him at least four times. [ male announcer ] cranberry juice? wake up! ♪ that's good morning, veggie style. hmmm [ male announcer ] for half the calories -- plus veggie nutrition. could've had a v8. plus veggie nutrition. when bp made a commitment to the gulf, we knew it would take time,

but we were determined to see it through. today, while our work continues, i want to update you on the progress: bp has set aside 20 billion dollars to fund economic and environmental recovery. we're paying for all spill- related clean-up costs. and we've established a 500 million dollar fund so independent scientists can study the gulf's wildlife and environment for ten years. thousands of environmental samples from across the gulf have been analyzed by independent labs under the direction of the us coast guard. i'm glad to report all beaches and waters are open for everyone to enjoy. and the economy is showing progress with many areas on the gulf coast having their best tourism seasons in years. i was born here, i'm still here and so is bp. we're committed to the gulf for everyone who loves it, and everyone who calls it home. yeah, our low prices are even lower.

we need to teach her how to walk. she is taking up valuable cart space. aren't you, honey? [ male announcer ] it's our biggest clearance event of the year where our prices are even lower. save money. live better. walmart.

♪ more than 2,000 inmates are housed behind the walls of the wabash valley correctional facility. but housing assignments are temporary. as cellmates phillip stroud and curtis mcgroan just found out. they were recently moved from their larger corner cell to a smaller one on the other side of the unit. >> why did they move you out of the corner area? >> did you see the dude that's in that sell now? he's about this big. >> he's a little bit bigger. i think he needed that cell a

little bit more than we did. >> they moved you out of that cell because there was a bigger guy moving in? >> yeah, i think it was a handicapped cell. and we're both kind of small. well, i'm a little bit bigger than him. but the guy that's bigger than me, he needed that cell more than me. because they looked like they was in a matchbox when we moved in here. >> but for stroud the only thing that has changed is the view. >> to me it's all prison. you know, that's how i look at it. whether the cell was ten times this size or it was half of this size, you know, i might have been in worse situations. and i just look at it like we're still in prison, we still can't go home. the only environment that really matters is the environment right here. you know what i mean? i got a nice view. i got a view that i look out of now, and it's just really -- >> step over here so you can see. >> to any young person, to anybody that think coming to prison is cool or whatever --

come here. that's what i got to look out for the rest of my life. those wires. that might be the closest that i ever get to freedom. it's close, but it's far away. that's what lockup is. that's what my extended stay is like. you know what i mean? that's how it is for real. that's real life. it ain't -- it ain't how it look in the movies. it ain't none of that, man. that's -- this is my bed. and when i look out the window, that's what i see. >> dustin trowbridge keeps a unique record of the many cells he's occupied over the last 15 years. >> i wrote down where i was every birthday that i've had since i've been in here. 15th was in the drunk tank in my county jail. 16th was in the cell right above me. 17th was over here on the right

side. 18th was on the right side. >> trowbridge has decided to mark his 30th birthday by writing a letter to the elderly woman he robbed, murdered, and sexually assaulted. >> i could never ask you to forgive me for the horrible things i did to you. i can't yet find it in me to forgive myself. i am sorry. i'm sorry i stole your sense of security when i snuck into your home. i'm sorry i stole your accomplishments and endeavors when i took your belongings. i'm sorry i stole your dignity when i assaulted you in the despicable ways that i did. i'm sorry i stole you from the loved -- from your loved ones when i very cowardly took the very life god gave you. there's really no words that can ever express how sorry i am. to those who knew and loved miss [ bleep ], i'm sorry. i will not ask for your forgiveness either. i know i've hurt you in ways i've only just begun to understand. you have every right to hate me for what i've done. i hated myself for a long time. every day for over half my life

not a moment has gone by when i didn't hang my head in guilt and shame. that's it. >> why did you feel the need to write that? >> well, i think it was -- this was as much for myself as it was for anybody else's sake. i -- it's probably going to sound kind of silly. but i really didn't -- i couldn't comprehend death until someone i knew -- until i had experienced that loss. and it -- it kind of put things in a completely different perspective when my grandma died. trowbridge's cellmate, joshua bean, also wrote a letter to his victim, heather, his former

girlfriend, who he stabbed to death. >> heather, i cannot push these thoughts and emotions to the darkest most solitary place in my mind anymore. i've suppressed so much. now your parents think i abused and beat you on multiple occasions. now your friends think i controlled and forced you to be with me. i am so far from abusive sometimes i find it beyond belief how i wound up where i am. i never wanted anything other than your love, babe. i never would have hurt you. yet you are dead and i might as well be. >> but debbie norris, heather's mother, says bean is a liar. >> i know that heather was beaten by him at least four times. four times that were pretty bad. one time she ended up going to the hospital after a beating. two of those beatings she pressed charges, and he was arrested on one charge, and the other charge was pending when he

killed her. >> debbie norris did not allow her daughter to die in vain. after heather's death she led the effort that resulted in the passing of heather's law, which made domestic violence education a requirement in indiana high schools. >> i'm trying to educate the young people on what a healthy relationship is and the signs that they need to look for and what to do and that there's people out there that care and that there's resources for them to turn to. when you're in an abusive relationship and you decide to go back, you are going the hear the words "i'm sorry. i've changed. i'll never do it again. i love you." and you'll want to believe it. so you'd end up going back. and i believe that's what heather did. >> i mean, she loved me. i know she did. when she -- when she was --

after she got off me, i had stabbed her right here, she lay down. i held her in my arms. and before she died she said, "i love you." and those were her last words. >> during his sentencing one of the things that he did say was heather's last words were that "i love you, josh." i will never believe that. i have nightmares that heather's last moments was calling out for me to help her because she had done that so many times before. i don't see where this would have been any different. >> one fact that is indisputable is that bean attempted to get away with murdering heather by dismembering her body with a chainsaw and placing the parts in trash dumpsters throughout

indianapolis. heather's body was never recovered. >> i go by a dumpster and i wonder if that's one of my daughter's last resting places. i see black trash bags and it makes me sick. i hear a chainsaw and i have to get away. so much is different. obviously, he took heather's life. but he took mine. he took her dad's. he took her family's. he took her friends'. nobody is the same. nobody has ever stopped missing heather.