>> scoop the poop. guess what? there's no such thing as the poop fairy. >> so good move, boise, idaho, in adopting the poop fairy as your own. it worked great, apparently, in colorado. and both colorado and boise, if you want to thank the poop fairy, we now know she was from virginia. the mother of all poop fairies. best new thing in the world today. go, boise, go. that does it for us tonight. we will see you again on monday, but, first, say it with me now, say it with me at home. are you ready? three, two, one, prisonen. >> due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. >> a senior inmate takes up wrap. >> they're living in sin.

they're robbing pharmacies, what do i give a damn? >> an alleged gang member poses a threat. >> a lot of people don't know this, but murder is one of the easiest crimes that you can get away with. easy. >> and another inmate makes the most shocking confession ever heard in lock up. >> they say you're a psychopath murder after more than three people. i've done blown that one out of the water quite a few times.

orange county, california is well known for its sun kissed beaches and family-friendly tourist attractions. >> announcer: but sometimes, fantasy gives way to reality. and when crime is committed here, suspects will usually find themselves booked into the orange county jail. >> what are you in for? >> disturbing the peace. >> have you been in jail before? >> no more questions. >> the orange county jail is comprised of five separate jail facilities. the largest of these is the theolacy jail with an average daily population of 2800 jail inmates, theo lacy alone amongst many state prisons. >> i have an assistant sheriff and he always likes to say we don't have andy of may berry.

we don't have otis coming into the jail tank. we've got 400 people in custody for murder today. we don't have people in jail for simple possession of marijuana, like some people might think. we have some very serious felony inmates in our custody. >> hands behind your back. >> announcer: unlike prison inmates, who have all been convicted of crimes, most jail inmates have only been accused and are being held awaiting trial for the resolution of their charges. still, violence can suddenly break out in jail just as it does in prison. >> when you're dealing with jails full of predators, there's always going to be prey. the inmates prey on each other, cause disturbances and cause big situations to occur. the deputies that are on-scene will try to control it. they do a great job. once they start to lose a little bit of control, what they'll do

is they'll give us a call. >> announcer: sergeant hernandez is in charge of the emergency response team, of e.r.t. >> e.r.t. is used for the major disturbances. we're used to right a situation and we're used together in intelligence. >> announcer: the emergency response team suits up to confront and inmate considered to be a dangerous threat. >> we're sending guys into danger right now. this is not a drill. this is an assay inmate. that means he's assaultive not only to other inmates, but also assaultive to possibly staff. that kind of wraps it up a little bit. >> the inmate is albert berceno. he has been transferred from a maximum state prison in order to appeal his current sentence of

150 years of multiple counts of gang robbery. >> he is a gang member from hard times. that's a street gang out of the city of garden grove. he was mainly brought up into the gang life through his family, through his mom and surrounding family members. he was basically born into the gangs. >> you know, i just grew up, like, angry. so it wasn't cool showing your emotions and crying. so i channelled all of that into anger. i started gang banging, you know. i said if i'm going to cry, then i'm going to let their blood be my tears, you know? >> what did you do to gain notoriety? >> blasting fools, you know. >> did you kill anybody? >> i mean, you know, i've been -- i've been -- it's been alleged, you know. >> through his years of coming

in and out of custody, he has elevated his status within both the inmate population and the gang population to be considered a very violent inmate. >> all the things that i've been through, it's like i've been, you know, walking through held wearing gasoline shoes. >> i'm telling you right now, you've got the green light to do what e.r.t. is known best for. >> nice and steady. nice and steady. >> announcer: the team is on its way to the cell to launch a surprise shake down for contraband. and they're taking no chances. >> get on the ground. get on the ground. get on the ground or we will use less than lethal weapons against you. >> slide out. slide out. keep coming out. just like that is fine. >> start heading off to your left. that way.

>> we do cell searches all of the time and we don't always use this level of security. >> put your hands behind your back. >> we're doing this because these guys have information that either they're willing to fight to protect or because, you know, in bercino's case, he's such a high level threat that we take these precautions just to protect ourselves. >> announcer: with bercenio safely constrained, deputies descend on his cell looking for contraband like weapons or drugs and equally as important, gang intelligence. >> if it says legal mail or legal paperwork, we can't search it. we can search it, but we can't read it. >> with this? >> yeah. >> how come? >> just procedure, the job, you know. >> within minutes, the deputies

make a hit and discover gang-related documents. >> i'm not really sure how this can help us, this sensitive material. but it's probably going to help investigations further down the road. this is a good one. any time we get decent intelligence, it's a good search. >> announcer: while authorities still consider bercenio to be a powerful gang leader, his time has been spent trying to disassociate himself from that past. >> i'm not involved in that gang stuff anymore. i left all of that behind. it's childish. that's the reason why i'm here. >> but bercenio may have a motive from distancing himself from gang life. his current armed robbery enhancements could keep him in prison for the rest of his life. he will soon be going to court in hopes of convincing a judge to drop them. >> committing robberies against another individual and that was it. got arrested. and both of us being gang

members, that's when they hit us with gang enhancements. >> while his most serious conviction has been for armed robbery, he later implied he might have gotten away with murder. >> a lot of people don't know this, but murder is one of the easiest crime that is you can get away with. easy. yes, it is. what gets people in trouble is their mouth. they tell one person. one person. that person, in turn tells two. next thing you know, everyone knows. >> i left quite a few. i mean, i'm not one to keep track. i don't sit there, like, put notches on my belt. i know it's my fingers on one hand. but, hey, you know, that's part of the life that you did. >> coming up. >> jeremy is the ultimate.

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>> announcer: the jail is the largest of the five facilities that make up the orange county california jail system. but the heart of the system is three miles away at the central jail complex. central is three facilities in one. there's the intake center where new arrivals are processed. the county's women's facility is located here, as well. but the largest section of central is reserved for high-security male inmates. >> announcer: jeremy bolls has been here for the past two years facing an array of very serious charges. >> when it comes to crime, it comes to different things, i don't have no boundaries. as long as it's not hurting kids, not hurting pregnant women, i'm up for all.

>> have you seen a lot of people die? >> yes. that i can -- yeah. that's comes with the game. >> bowles has a long criminal and gang history. and has served prior sentences both in state prison and at the orange county jail. two years ago, he was a free man for 16 days. an eventful 16 days. >> i went to the beach for the first time in my life. that was about the only thing i did positive out there. bowles allegedly spent the rest of the time in a crime spree that resulted in his latest arrest. the most serious charges include multiple counts of home invasion robbery and the attempted murder of a police officer that followed a high-speed chase. >> it's over 60 counts.

bowles has pled not guilty to all charges. but sorting it out could take years. >> i think one of my charges alone could earn 25 to life. and that's just orange county. there's cases in other states, other -- i got myself in a world of courts for a long time. >> jeremy bowles poses a huge threat because he's completely unpredictable. one minute you could be talking to him and he could be laughing and just having a normal day. and the next moment, he could literally be attacking you or me. he's from this particular gang in l.a., "sarzana." >> it means the city and hell. it means cause as much mayhem, damage, as you can. >> through prison and other incarcerations, he's really made connections with people from the mexican mafia. >> them people, to me, are the same people as me. a lot of people live in fear with them. me, personally, i never did. it was something i kind of grew

up with. >> jeremy bowles, to me, is the ultimate chameleon. he basically can fit in anywhere. and the relationship he's made with the mexican mafia, he truly is capable of doing just about anything, including killing people. >> announcer: while bowles has never been charged with murder, he freely admits that gang violence has been a significant part of his past. >> how many people have you killed? >> oh, man, i'd like to just keep that to myself. a lot. enough. that maybe i shouldn't be saying this on camera. but a lot. i didn't believe in drive-byes. i believed on knocking on peoples door. you wake up the next day, the neighbor saw nothing. to get up in somebody's face and

do something, it's really becoming numb. once you do it once, you can do it for the rest of your life. >> jeremy bowles is a very sophisticated, very experienced, very dangerous individual. jeremy bowles is ever-evolving. >> announcer: at a short time later, bowles would see an evolution in his charnls, as well. along with the dozens he's been facing, two new charges have been filed. both for pre-meditated murder. >> i've never been charged with murder. it's kind of funny because i've been charged with everything but that. >> the co-defendant severed from me so that he could testify against me. i understand he's saving himself. would i do it? i don't think so. but, for each his own. what i don't understand is this is the life you signed up for. you want to get in trouble and then all of the sudden, you can't take the heat and you're going to go and tell on everybody.

we used to take an oath. for this to happen is very upsetting. >> though his lawyer has entered a not guilty plea on the new murder charges, bowles seemed likely to the end result. a murder conviction in at least one of the cases. he also made it clear that he had no feelings about the victim. >> you know, so many years of doing things and getting away with it and now getting caught with it. i don't really feel it, then again. it's as real as it gets. >> announcer: coming up. >> my mind's not right, i still got game. i bet my dope puts yours to shame. >> announcer: later, the most shocking confession ever heard in lock-up. >> everything from bats to all kinds of zip ties are pretty devious. once you put it around somebody's neck, they can't get it off.

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>> announcer: every year, nearly 70,000 people make their way through one of the five facilities to comprise the orange county jail. on any given day, up to 3,000 of them can be found at orange county's largest facility. one way to measure the challenge

of managing such a large inmate population can be found in the theo lacey kitchen where inmate workers prepare 9,000 meals a day. >> i actually heard that an inmate had to be incarcerated, they'd rather come to orange county because they are fed well. they're fed more colorfully and our nutritional guidelines are the same as the rest of the state. we put a lot of couraare and en into what we do. >> while lower security level inmates eat in the chow hall, the majority of inmates are confined to themselves. their meals are delivered to inmate workers like robert mason. >> i used to work at deny's. it makes me think where i'm at because we get to come out three times a day. these guys are locked down 23 hours a die. the time goes by real slow. that's why we're kind of like our own contact. you can do little things for them and they act like they've

known you for a long time. >> announcer: even though he's well passed the hip hop generation, mason likes giving his customers a little extra with their meals. a rap. >> i'll do a short one. my mind's not right, i still got game. i bet my dope puts yours to shame. youngsters today have it all wrong, they're born to late to try the bomb. they're living in sin and robbing pharmacies for vicodin. >> when their ship ends, mason and other inmate workers make their way back to their housing unit. better known as the workers' barracks. it's still jail, but life in the barracks allows more freedom of movement and is one of the housing units where daylight streams into one of the windows. >> this is where we're coming into the projects here. we'll get further down the section here coming into the high-rent district.

>> mason is serving nine months con vibted of an unusual shoplifting charge. >> i was caught in a pastealing pair of work out pants. >> i do have a dog. >> that day, i was actually out of my mind on met amphetamine. i had been up for four days straight without sleep. i had no idea why i was even in that store. if there's anything you could say it's the devil's drug, meth amphetamine fits that drings. i was praying to god to stop and i couldn't. i guess this is his way of helping me stop. >> you want me to flex? >> inside jail, mason is an advocate for healthy living. >> my friends call me popeye

because i work out a lot and pretty cut for being 56 years old. i'm pretty "ripped" as they say. >> since we don't have a dip bar, we have to make due with this. these chairs do pretty good. we get the right level we want and just make do. it's probably one of the best exercises to do. if you can do one exercise, dips are probably the best thing we can do. >> i try to stay in shape all of the time. so these guys come in here as youngsters and they just ask me for advice on how to work out. >> it's a good dip. we see it working in his chest and shoulders. >> most of them, if you look around, you can see they're not in that good of shape. it seems like they're sitting on their butts too long and they need to get busy working out. they're in pretty sad shape for their ages. >> let's do a push up.

>> but not all inmates find comrade ri in jail. >> announcer: due to his classification as a gang member with a violent past, albert is locked in a single cell 22 hours a day. >> here we have albert ber krerks enio who is down here on appeal for his honoring 50 years with the eight counts of robbery. >> he's the one trying to get some of the gang enhancements dropped so he can get some time shredded off. >> my guess is the gang enhancements is an escape. >> has a lot of tattoos. >> yeah, he got those up at delano because he didn't have them back in 2001 when he was with us. >> he didn't have the horns, he didn't have the star, he didn't have any of his neck work done. he almost looks like a different guy in those two. >> yeah, you take a look at the two pictures, it's definitely a difference. but then, again, when you get

accustomed to that lifestyle, it's only a natural aggression. both his mom and dad are no longer alive. and his son is in juvey right now. >> we're looking at potentially a third generation. >> it's very close. >> i was busted when jesse was born. >> announcer: though his 15-year-old son is only a short distance away in the county's juvenile facility, bercenio can only communicate with him through letters. they write to each other frequently. >> he says what's up dad. he wants me to make a list of exercises. he requested some names. i think in juvey hall, the weights probably gives you a workout. >> bercenio says he hopes jesse will follow his workout routine,

but not his life as a gang banger. >> everybody wants their own children to be successful and succeed in life and be somebody, you know. but he's young. he's a teenager. so sometimes he don't make the best decisions, you know. you can't force it. you know, it's like you can bring a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, you know. also, maybe, you know, they're going to make their own decision. >> though he has never been charged with murder, bercenio made it clear that some of his decisions ended in violence. >> i was just a gunner, you know. when fools hear my name, i wanted to reap fear into the deltings of their soul. but as far as when i was going on hits. your intention is to go and spread as many around as you can. you know. and brings the rain. just delivering a metal rainstorm, you know.

126789 coming up, jeremy bowles receives devastating news. >> i'm cool. it's just everything -- >> announcer: and then confesses to the shocking magnitude of his murderous past. g. [ coughs, sniffles ] especially when you're sick. now, with new simpler packaging, robitussin® makes it simple to get the right relief for your symptoms. new simpler packaging, same effective relief. robitussin®. relief made simple. the world needs more energy. where's it going to come from? ♪ that's why right here, in australia, chevron is building one of the biggest natural gas projects in the world. enough power for a city the size of singapore for 50 years. what's it going to do to the planet? natural gas is the cleanest conventional fuel there is. we've got to be smart about this. it's a smart way to go. ♪

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>> look at all of that money. look at all of those chips. >> that's why i don't have any commissary left. i played poker like crap. >> you just think you're all of that and a bag of chips. >> announcer: the inmate housed in the jail are ready to bunk down for the night. >> what do you have? >> three of a kind right there. >> hold on, let me go mortgage my house. >> but they're in for a surprise. >> what's going to happen is we're going to have about a hundred inmates from this location move to another location. to make room for a new group of inmates, the new group will be transferred to a new barracks. >> they're going to roll it all up into a bundle and we're going to watch everyone very closely. >> any large inmate move causes a potential security breech. so to give deputies the upper hand, the move is not announced ahead of time and is planned for

9:00 p.m. when most other inmates are locked down. >> we're going to make this move real smooth. i want two inmates on each side. one here and one right here. >> one of the inmates involved in the move is the worker's father-figure, personal trainer and resident rapper. robert "popeye" mason. >> it looks like we're moving out of here to another barracks. so we've got a few minutes to pack up, i guess. we're kind of kept in the dark. we know something was coming, but we don't know exactly when. now is the time to get busy and get back. >> ready to make this move? i didn't think we was moving this soon. but they made a pass. >> do you want your popeye stickers? >> i'll leave my mark here. >> all right, let's go. this line first. left side.

>> we basically moved about 200 yards away from our previous location to our f barracks which is another barracks we have. it's like motel 6. they left the light on. >> a pillow built into the mattress. that's style right there. that's style. >> i was really debating on the aqua marine. >> this is okay. this will work. i mean, i've got no choice no matter anyway. i mean, you're in jail. it's not like you can expect the hilton. no big deal. >> the next group. >> inmate moves are not uncommon in most jails. as thousands of men and women

check in and out of jail, classification officers are constantly analyzing the population in order to house them in a manner that will help avoid conflict. >> albert bercenio is the latest inmate on the move. he has been transferred to the central jail three miles away. most inmates within the county jail are continuously on the move. we do have to screen and rescreen these inmates all of the time. basically, how i look at it is who can play with who? >> shortly after moving into his new cell, bercenio discovered his neighbor was an old childhood friend, jeremy bowles. >> i recognized the tattoos. and then when he got up, i said man, who's up, g? he looked at me and the recognition set him, the star threw him off.

he got all excited, you know. we've been around each other for the last 20 years. >> announcer: they're not only old friend, they share long, criminal histories. they're considered one of the most dangerous and violent inmates in jail. because of that, they will never have physical contact. they're housed in a unit where only one inmate at a time is allowed into the common area. >> we laugh at it now. we're looking at each other from door to door. we're 34 years old and it's like we're still ten years old. >> inside their cells, the sinks provide the best sound transmission. and serve as low-tech intercoms. >> good to see you again, though, man. >> we're getting old, huh.

>> hey, we ain't changed since we were kids. that's the scary part. >> i'm telling you, he gets all happy every time he sees me. you know, when you come home, he's all excited, you know, paying all over the place. that's my buddy, though. >> yeah, you want to play some chess? >> they're both very happy that now they're housed together and they've seen each other and they can interact together and reminisce just like as if we were to see an old friend. >> 6 to 34, check. go ahead and move that way. >> they have a very good relationship. a good rapport with each other. they're relatively comfortable with each other.

>> facing more than 60 charges, bowles has found some comfort in being reunited with his old friend. and that friendship is about to grow even more posht. though bowles has implied that he has brought death to others, two days later, death would pay him a visit. coming up from behind the walls of the orange county jail, the stunning confession of mass murder. nature valley granola bars, rich dark chocolate, toasted oats. perfect combinations of nature's delicious ingredients, from nature valley. ♪ nature valley granola bars, nature at its most delicious.

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time i work out. >> it just keeps you busy. keeps you going. you need to keep the mind busy. keep you occupied. >> after receiving tragic news from his family, jeremy bowles' life inside the orange county jail has been focused on cleansing. >> i found out for the first time that my mom died of a brain aneurysm on monday. i also found out that my uncle passed away of heart failure yesterday. my uncle was my best friend. he was always trying to help me. trying to get me to go down a good path. my uncle was, like, just everything. >> i'm here for you, you know that. if you want to talk. i'll let him -- i don't want to intervene in that little private part of his life that's he going through, you know. but it's messed up.

>> the thought that's in my head is i wish i could just take his place. >> you go out there and you're hurting people that didn't do nothing [bleep]. you don't think about other people's families. you don't think about nothing. it's not your face. you sit here and you're like [bleep] now i know what it feels like. and it hurts. it's hard for me to sleep. and it's like, sometimes i sit here and i think about the stuff i've done. maybe there's a lot of things i've just never told anybody. it's like, now it's just haunting. it sits here and, you know, every day we try to push things

out of your mind and push them into a corner. it's, like, i don't have anymore corners to push anything away anymore. >> announcer: he's decided to come to terms with them. though he had earlier alluded to having committed murder, he decided to reveal to us the stunning magnitude of his homicide in the past. >> i remember 29 murders in detail from times, dates, places, from caliber weapons, methods used. i remember the sounds of people begging for their lives. i remember people saying no. i remember the smell of blood. >> bowles says his first murder occurred at age 13 and that he used a variety of methods to

kill. >> i've used everything from bats to all kinds of -- zip ties are pretty devious. once you put it around somebody's neck, they can't get it off. >> bowles not only spoke to us about the 29 murders, he spoke to jail officials, as well. >> after spending some time with jeremy bowles, he's basically confessed to my partner and i that he has committed numerous murders in numerous different ways. one murder was described to us. he used some form of a liquid from the anarchist cook book and he was able to basically burn somebody so bad that they died. >> bowles says the victim was a childhood friend who is gang accused of being an informant. >> we went to the funeral and all of that and i'm just sitting in the funeral and nobody in the whole funeral -- i felt like the grim reaper just sitting there looking at a person i just killed sitting in a casket. >> he's also described to us

most recently that he has swum victim's bodies into a lake and disposed of them that way. >> most people, as long as there ain't no air in them, they'll sink. get out there, get them in a lake and whatever is at the bottom feeds. >> he's also told us that he has disposed of weapons that way. he would just go for a little midnight swim and he'd come back without the parts and/or the weapons. jeremy bowles has always described to us that a different way that he has disposed of some of his victims. was during a time he worked in a mortuary, made a cremation. so while he was working in the mortuary, he was able to cremate at least one or more of his victims. >> i think the most gnarly ever is just having to cut somebody up. doing [bleep] like that. i mean, now that i look at it, i think it kind of [bleep]s me up in the head because now i'll have to relive that and

understand why i did or what i did it for. >> 29, i keep -- that number just keeps popping in my head. we know all of these guys that come through, and, you know, i done this or that. this guy should be the true iceman, at that point. >> by what he's admitted to, i would definitely have to say so. >> deaf niltly. iceman bowles. >> hey, bowles? is now a good time to talk? about what we were talking about earlier? okay. step back for me. >> at this point in time, i don't know what the motivation is for jeremy to con vesz all of this. i don't know if his conscious is finally weighing on him, if the loss of his family members is waying on him or the fact that his kids are running around without a father figure. i'll not sure what his motion is to confess. >> do you feel that the reason you maybe talking about these

thing social securi things is part of a sense for you to bring some closure to some things? >> i just, you know, dealing with all of this and just everything, period, is just taking its toll on me. i think it's better to get it out of my system because it's something that's been eating me for a long time. i don't think a lot of them people have closure and a lot of things that happen. i just feel that by clearing the air with certain things, it puts me at ease, also helps me to deal with my own demons in my own head. >> all right. we'll talk a little bit more a little later if at any time

something really doesn't feel right and you're not able to deal with it. then please, please, i encourage you to follow through with that. >> okay. >> all right? >> thank you. >> announcer: coming up, two fathers with uncertain futures reach out to their sons. >> i love you, jeremy. don't ever think different. ♪ they see me rollin' ♪ they hatin' ♪ patrolling and tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty ♪ ♪ tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty ♪ ♪ tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty ♪ ♪ tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty ♪ [ mom ] hi, there. why do we always have to take your mom's car? [ male announcer ] the security of a tiguan, one of nine volkswagen models named a 2012 iihs top safety pick. ♪ tryin' to catch me ridin' dirty ♪ on december 21st, polar shifts will reverse the earth's gravitational pull and hurtle us all into space, which would render retirement planning unnecessary.

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can you send me a picture of you? so, i can see. send me a picture and i also want a drawing of something cool so i can show it off. i miss you, dad, a lot. >> one of the few things albert has to look forward to from his segregation cell at the orange county jail are letters from his 15-year-old son, jesse, who is currently housed in the county's juvenile facility.

>> my son, he writes more. i send him drawings. i send him a little workout list. he was asking me for the workout list. he tells me that the workout list was whack. i figure he's young. try to give him a light one. he wrote back, talking all kinds of smack. i was like, all right. so, i wrote him a hard one. i haven't heard him yet. he's always like, write me back, dad, write back fast. i'm probably the only one that's keeps in constant contact with him, you know? i write him and let him know that i still support him from in here, you know. >> his days at the orange county jail could be coming to an end. a judge will soon decide whether or not to grant his appeal to have the gang enhancements dropped from his armed robbery charges. the decision could be the difference between ever seeing freedom again or not. >> i was childish back then. i couldn't fathom the consequences and the people i

was hurting. basically i threw my whole life away, you know. if i knew i was going to go through all this when i was getting sentenced, i would have rather just, you know, if i could, i'll go in front of the firing squad or something, you know, just end it. in reality, all i'm doing is dying a slow, painful death, you know? >> victim was shot four times in the face and chest area. >> briceno's childhood friend, jeremy bowles, will likely never see freedom again either. >> one more time in the head. >> after confessing to 29 murders, bowles has been asked by jail officials to detail the murders in writing. >> as the details come forward, our chain will basically be to gather all the information from him as much as possible, document it on paper. and then, what we'll do is we'll

start contacting the law enforcement agencies that it kerns. from there, those agencies will probably get ahold of the district attorney's office. and they'll probably have a sitdown with jeremy bowles and they'll discuss each individual crime as related to jurisdiction. and prosecution will start forward from there. >> what i'm asking in return is the death penalty. just get it out of the way. >> i think that jeremy bowles actually wants to go to death row because he has a higher chance of dying of natural causes on death row rather than being executed by the california department of corrections. it's also a very comfortable place to live. i have talked to several inmates that have come from death row back here to orange county custody, and they have no qualms whatsoever being there. they say they're actually treated very well. >> i won't die here. i'll die of falling off a bottom

step before this place executes me. so, i don't see that really, you know. i already know that i can live out a long life up there, just exhaust the appeals and do everything else and just die of natural causes. >> regardless of whether bowles receives life in prison or the death penalty, he will leave six children behind. one of his sons has just turned 13. the same age bowles was when he began his life of crime. >> i don't write him very often, because we don't have very good communication. and it's his birthday. i figure at 13 years old you give a kid advice and see we runs with it. this is to my son. it says, hi, son. how are you? how's it going? how is life treating you? i want you to know i'm proud of you. you're growing up so fast. the time passes so quick. i hope your birthday's the best. you're such a great son.

keep school and sports. that's number one. i know right now it might not seem like it but keep out of trouble and stay focused on life. i think of you and your brother all the time. i have a picture of you and him on the wall right next to where i sleep. life is rough. and then it gets more rough. but you've got to stay open-minded an understand life is a test. you're the student. i love you, jeremy, don't ever think different. i know i have a funny way of showing it. and it seems even harder when you don't talk to me. but i know you're growing up and you need your space to see life for what it is. but if you ever want to talk or see me, let mom know. i know there will be a time

when -- and i just stopped. like i was explaining to my neighbor earlier, it's like, you know, i love my kids. i do. but i'm not a good dad. all because i didn't take the chance to actually step in and be somebody in their life. it's too late. >> too late for what? >> it's just too late to change. it's too late.