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tv   Lockup  MSNBC  April 13, 2013 6:00pm-7:01pm PDT

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>> due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. >> 1025, respond to the area. >> members of the jail's most predatory gang set their sites on vulnerable prey. >> the jail officials are determined to show who is in charge. >> this is my jail, ain't nobody in here want nothing in here but me. >> smeared feces all over his body and the walls and doors. >> another inmate has an
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apparent breakdown. >> the demons come in my room, going to kill me. >> an alleged gang member has choice words for the man known as big sam. >> now you're calling me a bitch, name calling doesn't bother me. they did call me everything but a rueben sandwich. just across the freeway from the cleveland browns stadium, practically on the shores of lake erie, it should be considered prime real estate. but for the 2200 men and women in the 11th story complex, it is the cuyahoga correctional center.
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it isn all. >> ts ait the place to be, it's like a little prison. >> i see girls in here crying, hysterical, i want to kill myself, this and that. it's bad. this is real bad in here. real bad. >> this place is crazy, they take everything, they might take your life. do what you can to get out and stay out. if you're just getting out, good, keep it that way. >> majority of inmates are currently accused of crimes and are awaiting trial at the resolution of their cases. it is a world fraught with uncertainty. >> every day things are going on. when you think it's quiet, it's not, like a movie, when you don't see, that's when you don't worry, when it's quiet, that's when you ought to be worried. >> today the q is broken
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by a code 1025. >> all available responders respond to the area. >> responding officers arrive at maximum security where a commotion between several inmates has already been contained. >> i figured out, 50 dollars. >> randy smith says several inmates stole a phone card and food he purchased from the jail commissary and he was trying to get it back. >> for anything in particular? >> young and most of them are gang related. >> what gang? >> heartless felons. >> i don't see half of them as heartless felons, other half is general population. general pulation gets preyed on by the heartless felons. >> sammy mcclaren is a veteran officer of 24 years.
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the jail's gang investigator. >> heartless felons is one of the many gangs we have in the county jail, but they're the one we have the most problems with. they become very violent and persistent and they don't mind to letting people know what their agenda is. >> the heartless felons originated in 1999 inside the county's juvenile facilities. >> they felt they were getting disrespected and being mistreated and tired of people messing with them. they formed a group, which will be known now as the heartless felons and they demanded to have respect. >> i came in when i was 15 years old and we had no family, nothing, no money on our books, nobody to care about us or whatever. my rank is boss. i'm not at the top top.
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but i'm one of the people that call shots. i want to be the hnic, be the top man, al capone. >> walter cooperwood is awaiting trial in charges including attempted rape and aggravated robbery and grand theft auto which he pled not guilty and picked up an additional charge of felonious assault. while in jail. >> it was a riot in the detention center, heartless felons and everybody else that's not part of the gang. my friend punched somebody and split his eye. when he punched them he fell and i started to stump him and he wasn't asleep, that's a felonious assault charge. >> he has been segregated on 23 and 1 status, only let out of single man cell one hour per day. now due to the recent problems
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in unit 10-c, many other heartless felons may soon find themselves living under the same restrictions. >> we need to go to 23 and 1, one person out at a time. we got to get a grip on this. >> it's getting out of hand. >> associate warden eric ivy in charge of jail security. containing heartless felons has become a regular part of his job. >> we're going to have a meeting with the rest of the staff and try to devise a plan. we know why we're here, right? i want to make a statement with these guys. i really do. we start with tennessee, the world 23 and 1 travels, if you identified as participating in gang activity, you're going 23 and 1. witthe heartless lo deliv b special response team, a specially trained s.w.a.t. group
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oics also known black. >> we're going into the pod to make a show of force. we're going to throw this on and let them know we mean business, ain't going to play with this. >> these are pepper foam launches, they shoot out pepper balls, when we go in, we'll make the perimeter, first guy break off to the right, second guy break off to the left. let's go. step it in. >> get up get clothes on. >> get dressed. that's what. >> put your heels against the wall and feet together. >> put your hands on top of your head. >> you listen to what we got to say. >> listen up. due to this pod behavior and guys classification has been upgraded to 23 and 1.
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if you want to know what that is, you're going to be locked down for 23 hours, come out one hour a day. there's been too much negative things happening in this pod. everybody was given an opportunity to be treated like men and apparently that wasn't enough. just how it is, period. that's it. >> lockdown, gentlemen. >> coming up -- another inmate falls victim to the heartless felons. >> been a target for them since i've been in the pod for two and a half months. >> this is your life, we have to keep you safe. >> if you don't know me, you better ask around. >> the warden turns up the heat. >> if you want trouble, i'm telling you, i'm going to bring it to you. the carful? how about...by the bowlful? campbell's soups give you nutrition, energy,
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the cuyahoga correction center is located in the heart of downtown cleveland. inside the walls it's a gang known as the heartless felons that keeps big sam mcclaren busy. >> heartless felons is a big problem. one, there's so many of them. >> step back. >> i wouldn't be surprised if we didn't have 400 heartless felons here. they have a thing i call the tenderizer, you know how you put tenderizer on meat to soften it up, anybody they have a target for, they pick at you and slap you and get you angry, you're either going to fight back or give in. this is what they're good at. i call it a tenderizing process. i want your commissary, give it here, i want your food tray, give it here. you don't do anything about it, they got you. >> lockdown. >> that sort of activity has already led to unit 10-c being put on lockup status.
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now one floor below in unit 9-c an officer has noticed new injuries to an inmate and reported them to sergeant daniels. >> oh, yeah, i see that. >> the injured inmate is nick desilo. >> he wouldn't say -- another inmate told who hit him so i guess he was scared to say who did bbvusly you can tell w >> sergeant daniels leads him out to t hallway so they can talk out of view of other inmates. >> you're out now, tell me what happened? >> i've been a target for commissary for a guy who came out of nowhere. walked into my room. i slammed the door and he bitch slapped me. >> he has no doubt who's behind the assault, attempted theft of his commissary goods. >> there's a ton of them in here. heartless felons. >> they've been harsing you -- how come you didn't tell nobody? >> i didn't think itou do
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good. >> snitches. we don't believe that. this is your life, we have to keep you safe. no sense of you staying in the pod being assaulted because you don't want to be what they call a snitch. this is the guy here? >> he identifies members of the heartless felons he says have targeted him. >> leave him in the bull pen until we find a place for him. he apparently was the victim. i'm not locking him up but moving him off the pod for his own safety. these three he identified, we have to investigate them as well. >> tell them to pack those guys up. they going to detention. >> you in the family? >> you know you're going to lockup, right? >> the alleged attacker is 23-year-old delvon mitchell. the two inmates he identified as
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ring leadersreregory mclem more and 23-year-old steven williams. >> i don't understand what -- >> you don't have to understand. you're in lockup and that is what is it is. >> i ain't no gang banger, i'm a muslim. >> you're inmate. >> you're a correctional officer, you don't have any power -- on the streets you're just another [ bleep ]. >> you're supposed to be compliant. this proves that you might be -- >> now cleared by medical staff, desilo has temporary housing in a new unit. >> a lot of anxiety and it's uncomfortable, this is something that's finally come to fruition for the first time and i haven't had to deal with it until today. >> leaves you emotionally
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calloused, they stress how important it is to be a man in jail. you're not supposed to have emotions whatsoever, but it's not me. >> dicillo has been in the jail for two and a half months and his time here has been marked by a continuous state of fear. >> when i first got in the pod, being white and appearing weak, you're an easy target, especially for the gang related activity, the heartless felons, i didn't have any commissary, i was guarding somebody else's in my room and somebody else came up and proceeded to come into my cell to take what they wanted to take. i tried to prevent that from happening and shut the door and got slapped, i didn't fall took it like a champ. for some reawhen y fight you throw punches not a slap. and i was slapped, like i'm being slapped by a girl. but it was a heartless felon. i didn't say anything becae didn't want to be a snitch. one of the things that you're --
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is imbred in you in jail is to not snitch. you fear flife. and finally the sergeant and men in black came and locked everybody down. i never had that kind of attention. i tried to be like a piece of furniture, i don't want to get noticed because i'm a docile creature. >> he is in jail awaiting sentencing after pleading guilty to forgery. >> i'm here because i'm an addict. i'm a heroin addict, when you run out of money you find creative ways to buy more heroin and those ways were criminal. i had a fantastic career handed to me on a silver platter essentially and i squandered every bit of it. i was a classical flutist had a full scholarship to northwestern and my life was made and it was for the taking and i was
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introduced to heroin and other drugs i never even dreamed of using, completely destroyed my life. it's my fault. i'd given up everything, nothing was taken from me. and this is what i look forward to every week, i get a card every week from my mom. only person who writes me and visits me. i stack them on the floor wherever i'm at on the wall. they always smell good, which is cool. she sprays them with her perfume before she sends them. makes the room smell nice, too. people get cards from their girls, i get cards from my mom. >> coming up -- >> i've heard through the grapevine i was the one that snitched on everybody. >> nick dicillo hopes for the best and prepares for the worst. >> if i do go to prison, i'll be in prison with these people. >> it's starting to kick in that the warden is not messing around with these guys. >> this is my house, understand that. this is my house. >> the warden takes a stand. [ french accent ] antacid!
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there are more than 2,000 inmates and 700 staff people at the cuyahoga correction center in cleveland. one person makes his presence like no other. >> he's our operations warden and daily is in the jail and i mean he's in the jail. he will make rounds nearly from the time he gets here until the time he leaves. >> how are you doing, brother? he is an individual who has a military background and very polished. >> you got the sheet on the bed but no blanket, tie that up for me, please, i appreciate it. thank you. >> he is also somebody who can get to the level of any inmate in here. >> gave me -- >> you want me to address those issues? >> we're going to deal with you
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the y you dealm go wh g to alwa and start off that way because youry inspect me we're going to get along and have an understanding, when we cross the line of you being disrespectful toward me, i have to let you know that's not acceptable to me. >> we'll cross that bridge when we get there. orate those gs fm where i come o those things that i've learned in the military and things i've learned here, i have to incorporate who i am and where i'm from. i'm always the guy from the inner city of cleveland, raised in cleveland and in the neighborhoods and things like that. that's who i am. >> what decision i make will be for your benefit. you may not see it like that at the time, but trust me. >> ivy, first became a corrections officer at the jail after six years in the army. incorporate something else into his routine as well, a sense of style. >> this whole clothes thing, shoe thing, i grew up very poor. i remember walking to school some days and holes in the bottom of my shoes and my mom would make me wrap my feet in plastic and walk to school like
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vowed to mysdot ke and here i am, makes me feel good so that's it. that's my story and i'm sticking to it. >> ivy has taken issue with the latest incident involving the heartless felons. after several heart les felons attempted to steal commissary from another inmate, he put them on 23 and 1 lockup status. >> you're going to be locked down for 23 hours, come out one hour a day. >> reaction was terrible. inmates was kicking and banging and screaming and yelling out the doors. >> ivy has taken notice. >> i came up to bring my paperwork up and i heard some kicking and banging on the c-pod went over there and found out what was going on. >> got everybody out?
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i'd like to put my own signature on things, especially like that in dealing with a population like that so they know the directions come from me. this isn't something that came from the corporals or sergeant. this came directly from me. >> i made the decision, that's the way it's going to be. this is my jail, ain't nobody in here going to run nothing in here but me. now, keep kicking on my doors and i'm going to show you. i'm going to show you what i can bring to you. if you don't know me, you better ask around. if you want some trouble, i'm telling you, i'm going to bring it to you. what you need to do is lay it down. >> i think it's starting to kick in that the warden does not mess around with these guys.
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>> kick on my door again. kick on it. i guarantee you, i'm going to show you. >> we ain't come up here to talk. only person going to be talking is going to be me. this is my house, understand that. this is my house. >> turn around and face the wall. turn around and face the wall. >> take him outside. let's get something straight right now, everybody know what the status is, that's your that's my decision. i made it. >> we've been letting them know, you control the outcome of this to a cxtt. you behave and prove wo of, we'll consider at some point allowing you maybe to go back into general population at the end of the day it's kind of up to them. >> what you can do now is step in your cell and close your door and have a seat on your mat. >> coming up -- >> when he slammed the door, what did you do? >> i slapped him. >> you sure did.
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>> sam mcclaren launches an investigation into the assault on nick dicillo. >> you're lying to me. >> and later -- >> smeared feces all over his body and the walls and doors. >> nothing surprises me. some guys, perfect one minute, the next minute they are doing what he did. ♪ the trucks are going farther. the 2013 ram 1500 with best-in-class fuel economy. engineered to move heaven and earth. guts. glory. ram. the new ram 1500. motor trend's 2013 truck of the year.
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i am melissa rehberger. one person remains missing and two avalanches hit near snowqualmie pass in washington state. the rescue effort is hampered by heavy snow. susan collins will vote in favor of expanding background checks. the first republican to publicly announce support for the bill. and gas dropped 14 cents the past two cents.
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here's what's happening. the state department confirms one civilian employee was killed in eastern afghanistan today. >> inside cleveland's cuyahoga county correction center, walter cooperwood, admitted boss of the heartless felons gang is allowed one hour a day to spend outside of his cell. >> let's get something straight right now recently warden ivy put the entire unit on lockup after members of the heartless felons began preying on our inmates. >> this is my house, understand that? >> i don't want this. i don't got no beef with him. >> while 23 hours a day in a cell is nearly unbearable for some, cooperwood says he's unphased by it. >> actually, i don't be tripping about being in a room all day, read, write my letters and write my music, i write posiveic
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life. how you can change your i like talking about love and females a lot too. ♪ i just want to know a few things, is your love true to stay ♪ i just want to know ♪ >> then i got my gangster music. ♪ that's crack. >> music hel coopeoo t ni dicillo it was once everything he loved for. >> musicians don't typical choose to be musicians, they are choseny atev higher power. i was chosen to be a musician for other, my life took a turn the way it did and music kind of stopped but it w the most important thing to me in the world. it was my drug. it's been several years, at least two years since i picked
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a. drugs kind of took over what c wasimetime when i was introduced to the heavier narcotic like heroin and meth and mushrooms. >> he detoxed in jail but even though he has no access to the flute or other instruments he once played, music is slowly coming back to him. >> i learned from being in here joy is more important than any drug and music can still bring me joy, especially in a place of despair like jail. ♪ there's music that plays through my head constantly even. some of the greatest music ever written and it idly flows through my head and i'm going along with the score as it's playing in my brain. i'm in constant mode of reverie.
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wish that i could bring back what my life used to be like. >> it may be awhile before he reclaims part of his former life. he will soon be sentenced for forgery and expects to go to prison. >> i try not to think about going to prison just because i'm going to get to that when i come to it. i'm not exactly too fearful just yet. the morning i get woken, that's when it will hit me and i'll go in panic mode and flip out. until that day comes, i'm doing what i do here. >> he may have to deal with pay back after his recent assault. he identified his attacker, and other alleged members of the heart les felons. >> i heard through the grapevine i was the one who snitched. if i do go to prison, i'll be in prison with these people. i try not to think about it, cross that bridge when it come to it. it is just something you kind of have to deal with when it happens. >> i got three individuals here, i'm going to need to talk. >> the jail's gang investigator
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big sam mclaren has been on case and knows the three inmates tied to the assault. >> we found out they were gang members through personal correspondence and witnesses. >> these two are the ones that everybody listens too. >> we have proof that these individuals still active heartless felons. no ifs, ands, or buts. >> he'll now interview all three inmates, first is mitchell, awaiting cards to burglary and kidnapping, to which he pled not guilty, he says he force his way into the cell and slapped him in the face. >> what did you do? >> i slapped him. >> you slapped him. you sure did. why did it take place? >> because he ain't give me my money. >> say what? >> >> what? >> how much money he owed you? >> $2. >> yeah. name have two or three different
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>>usyou and . in't nody in a gan what? >> you lying how and why you slapped that man. good-bye. >> officer mcclaren said that investigation revealed that mitchell himself was a pawn of heartless felons and that's how they got mitchell. he was getting his stuff taken and getting his food and commissary taken. they told him, said you want yours to stop, do what we tell you to do. >> mcclaren believes one of the heartless felons exerting that pressure is martin, aggravated robbery and assault. >> tell me what's going on. >> honestly? >> yeah. >> i don't know, they snatched everybody up.
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>> you don't know? >> truthfully on my dead mother. my mother's grave i don't know -- fighting for a case for my life. i ain't got time -- i got aggravated robbery and a lot of crazy tough. -- stuff. i'm fighting for my life. i ain't got time to be involved in no gang. >> i don't have that bowl on my head where i can see into the future, only can deal with what i see right now. what i see right now before me, you take part in this, and what i see now is that you do more about this. thank you. thank you. get back with you, you take care of yourself. >> you too. >> steven williams. >> the third inmate, another alleged ring leader of the gang is steven williams, aggravated robbery and kidnapping charges. he's also plead not guilty. >> all of the stuff going on, you have no knowledge of it? you makes the shots.
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that's what i was told before. >> how am i calling shots? the only people that can say calling the shots is the people in the gang -- >> because they see and heard and watch and they are afraid. i'm going to tell you this. yes, they are afraid. you smile. >> yes, they are afraid. >> [ bleep ] so stupid. >> take him back. >> you know your [ bleep ], you don't [ bleep ]. it's stupid man, bitch. >> now you're calling me a bitch, name calling doesn't bother me, i been called everything but a reuben sandwich. he knows i have the facts on him and evidence on him. he can go back in the cell and doing what he's doing and eating his ne eating carrots, drinking that milk thinking about what he just did. >> after reviewing officer mcclaren's report, warden ivy
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decided each of the three men will join a large number of heartless felons in 23 and 1 lockup status. >> somebody got slapped in my pod and they look at me and the rest of them because we're young and black and we move a certain type of way. we ain't did nothing. >> what's up? >> ain't nothing going on. >> what's going on with you? >> looking good, man. >> i appreciate the compliment. >> i respect you. >> okay, all right. after two days on 23 and 1, williams is coping as best as he can but mclemore also interrogated about his role in the heartless felons is an apparent state of crisis. >> smeared feces all over his body and the walls and doors and he seems irate for some reason.
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ordered togs -- to go in there, hopefully take him out without incident. >> come here. >> come here. get in the water and we'll talk about it when you come out. >> ain't going to kill me. >> we ain't going to kill you or hurt you. >> try to hurt me. >> no we're not. >> we're going to bring you out, all right? are you going to work with me? >> yes. >> the officers move in to restrain mclemore, smeared on the cell wall is the word satan. >> stand up. slow down. go straight to the shower, okay. >> sergeant -- >> nothing surprises me any more to be honest. some guys, they're perfectly calm one minute and next minute doing what he did. >> put your free hand on the
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wall. nobody is going to hurt you. we're going to work with you, all right? >> some get him a towel or something. >> all right. turn around. >> put you in this chair for youraf okay? until we decide what's going on. >> all right. >> once y couple of months something like this happens. you were fine last night. what's going on? >> trying to poison our food. >> who tried to poon your food? >> next up seen by mental health because he has to be evaluated to see what's going on and how we can help him get through this time period he's going through. >> if you tell me i'll be able to help you? come on, talk to me, man. all of the demons come in my room going to kill me. i don't know nothing. god can't help me. god can't help me.
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d can' me. >> they are not really there, man. they are not. they are not. you're going to be all right though, i'm going to tell you that. >> coming up -- >> because i quit working for him. got my soul, how my soul got to the devil. hey. they're coming. yeah. british. later. sorry. ok...four words... scarecrow in the wind... a baboon... monkey? hot stew saturday!? ronny: hey jimmy, how happy are folks who save hundreds of dollars switching to geico? jimmy: happier than paul revere with a cell phone. ronny: why not? anncr: get happy. get geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more.
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on 23 and 1 lockup for the assault on nick dicillo. less than 48 hours later he's brought to the mental health unit for observation. >> feces all over the room and wrote satan on the wall and not going into the cell because satan comes at night. now we're waiting on psych. >> he will meet with mental health nurse practitioner who will decide if he will be admitted to the mental health unit or returned to confinement. >> she is a psychiatric nurse practitioner, they have prescriptive authority, they can provide narcotics and provide medications for psychiatric illnesses but she is experienced in making decisions about whether a patient needs to be in some sort of protective environment or is deemed okay to return to the general population. >>
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shocking to an outsider, nurse olny thinks they could be issu >> there can be some manipulation that goes along with this kind of behavior. we see it fairly frequently here. because he's been here since may and it's now september and why this behavior now? we have very good actors here. so i'll be looking to see is there something psychotic or is this is a behavior management problem. >> what kind of problems are you having? >> i'm seeing things and hearing things like i been seeing them since i was young and still see them, now seeing demons and stuff, devil mad. >> why is the devil mad at you? >> because i quit working for him. he got my soul. side of my soul to the devil, i used to do things for him then i stopped doing things for him.
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>> you never took -- >> what does it do? >> it will even out your mood and keep you from feeling like people are talking about you and watching you -- >> i'll try it. >> bring you back. >> the medicine that i prescribe for him has a little bit of an anti-depressant effect, maybe he'll feel a little better. you know, the goal here is to do what you can. >> until the nurse says otherwise, mclemore will remain in the mental health unit. he said he can still vividly recall the events of the prior evening. >> i'm laying in bed, i doze off, and they come in mie dreams and nightmares and i get to running, running. then i'm going to get you, get you, you can't run, you can't run. you mine. i opened my eyes and see the demons in my room, choking me. >> did you put the feces on you?
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>> yeah, i did that. >> why? >> because keep the devil away and demons, i put it on me like they will stay away. >> people think this is all an act to get out of that cell? >> i did four months inside of a cell, what's 15 days? >> gregory mclemore has been cleared from the mental health unit and going to be returning to 10 south. let's go let him know. >> by the following morning, the nurse has informed correctional staff of her conclusion of mclemore, she believes his delusions were fabricated. >> it became apparent his thoughts were well organized. i did not see any kind of cognitive deficits that we usually see in somebody with schizophrenia. although he said he heard voices, that's really not a
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typical hallucination, somebody reniwi t they are not going to remember evhing t voices say to them. th are going to answer very vaguely, le i don't know. his hallucinations were so well defined and in such great detail it just didt f into the typical schizophrenic type of presentation. >> go back to the end of the wall. >> everything he did was a ploy. there's no more talking. 's currently pacing back and forth in the cell and doesn't want to talk to anybody. >> i'm cool. i'm back. as long as i got a light on, i don't care. i can mess with them. >> will he act out again? i think he'll act out. he doesn't want to be up here. that's what he's thinking about. coming up --
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>> nick's drug addiction leads him to a new beginning. funds. which makes you wonder -- isn't that a conflict? search "proprietary mutual funds." yikes! then go to e-trade. we've got over 8,000 mutual funds, and not one of them has our name on it. we're in the business of finding the right investments for you. e-trade. less for us. more for you. the fund's prospectus contains its investment objectives, risks, charges, expenses, and other important information and should be read and considered carefully before investing. for a current prospectus, visit etrade.com/mutualfunds. it shows. we don't run like that. we build john deere equipment the way we always have: the right way. times change. our principles don't. you don't just have our word on it.
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walter cooperwood holds the rank of boss in the heartless felons, a cleveland gang that poses one of the largest security threats at the cuyahoga correction center. he had his eye on the top spot. >> i want to be the hnic, i want to be the hnic, call all the shots. be the top man. >> incarceration, however, especially in a 23-hour a day lockup can have a way of altering goals. >> want to talk? >> yeah. >> cooperwood has asked to speak with officer henderson who has tried to get through to the 18-year-old inmate in the past. >> i already talked to
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everybody, family members that i'm not -- i'm getting out. >> i'm done with the fam. >> i've been sitting it on it for a while. i got two sons. when i get out they are going to be three years and change and two years and change, i'm going to be there the whole time. i'm not going to go nowhere. because of them i ain't going to come back to jail. i can't come back to jail. i spent too much time in here. ain't cool. >> i'm proud of you. for real. that's real good. that's showing maturity. >> i think he's sincere. all i can do is believe in him and hope the best for him. >> like other officers at the jail, henderson grew up on some of the same tough streets like inmates at cooperwood. >> the things i've been through at their age as a teenager at 18 years old, i could have been one of these guys, so i tell them what i've been through in life and let them know, if i can
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change, you can change. 2200 inmates in here and my goal since i started, if i can talk to one inmate and get that guy to change his life around, i'm happy and feel like i did something. >> gang rules dictate before cooperwood can officially leave, he must be assaulted by other members of the gang in a ritual they call clapping out. >> you don't get to see the punch coming. they come from behind. it got to be two or three people. can't be just one. you're out of the game. no longer heartless felon. >> i ain't worried about it. they are going to come. i have to clap somebody to get in, you have to clap to get out. i'm ready for it. i ain't tripping. i worry about myself and my family. >> weight on my shoulders. >> nick says jail has taken a weight off his shoulder, helped
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m quit or o in. >> i'm not going to get high anymore when i leave jail. even when i was in treatment i didn't feel this way. they engrain in your recovery program, if you keep using, you'll end up in jails, institutions or death. i haven't died and that's probably what's next. i finally understand that. i've overdosed a couple of times and come back from the dead but all that's left is death. i don't have it in me. i'm only 25 but i'm not conditioned for this. i'm tired of being a self-hating egoistical junkie. >> a few weeks later he received sobering news of a different sort. >> brought me in front of the judge and it was not a good result. i got sentenced to 18 months. the judge said a lot of not so nice things and it was not a pretty picture.
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i sa'm at getting what i want and said i was a danger to society, unexpected result. >> though he will soon board a bus for an ohio state prison, he will also see a bright side. >> prison is way better than here. i can go to school and pursue different things and perhaps flourish more than i can here. i'm ready to close the door on this step and continue on in the next one, whatever that is. >> three days later, dicillo's future arrives with a early morning wake-up and case of nerves. >> i didn't expect to go this morning but they woke me up and said i could [ bleep ] and here i am. i would lie if i said i wasn't nervous. i know there's better than this but the uncertainty of not knowing is worse than anything. this is the lowest i've ever
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been. this is my bottom. i can only go up from here. whatever negativivety is about to come, i'm in the thinot thin it. i'll cross that bridge when i get to it. >> dicillo, brown. >> they say ignorance is bliss and i try to not think about it. part of the recovery process is to learn to forgive yourself. i've forgiven myself for things i've done and this is just kind of what i have to do to move forward and grow inwardly. i don't have any control over the situation. you've got to make the best of it in order to make it.
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due toature subject matter viss by. guy you'reookifor. >> srt. left! y viont iate is hat a plotting an escape, the special response team is called to action. >> trustees, that means you're reo than to be trust worthy much

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