treat all that. it doesn't? [ male announcer ] nope. [ sniffles ] alka-seltzer plus fights your worst cold symptoms plus has a fast acting antihistamine to relieve your runny nose. oh, what a relief it is! [ man ] shhhh! for fast cold and flu relief, day or night, try alka-seltzer plus day and night liquid gels. this morning, my question. what happens when nerds try to be funny? well, besides a quadratic equation jokes and loud snorting, tickled nerds can lead to some serious political absurdity. so get ready, because we're about to embark on nerdland's second annual look back at laughte laughter. good morning. i'm melissa harris-perry. and welcome to "mhp's" show second annual look back at laughter. this is the show where we

dispense with the serious and sober coverage of politics, and instead look back at some of the political absurdity of 2013 with the ridicule and mockery it so rightly deserves. if there's any story this year that demonstrates just how good we media types are at keeping a straight face in the midst of straight-up silliness, it's this. the guy running for mayor of new york city, whose most famous, not two, one but four scandal of texting pictures of his package to women who were not his wife and whose name just happens to be weiner. why should the daly show be the only ones who get to have the pun fun. having to cover this campaign seriously meant i had to censor all the scripts could have been. like, how the revival of his sexting scandal made weiner's polls go down. which, new yorkers gave weiner the shaft. i could go on all day. there was, however, another

candidate in 2013, who left voters feeling uninspired, but whose name gave me plenty of inspiration for poking fun at his questionable policy ideas. you know who i'm talking about. none other than that reason hopeful in virginia governor's race, ken cuccinelli. or as we called him frequently in our segments, cucc watch, which seemed like a fitting name for the republican senator in the state where last year republicans were insisting women submit to the vaginal probe. not as much fun as it sounds. legitimately covering the campaign innocent being earnest about the fact that there was another part of the anatomy that cuch was interested in watching. yes, we had to go where even the supreme court dare not tread. because in october, the court rejected one of the key components of cuccinelli's platform. his crusade to police where virginians put their parts by reinstating virginia's crimes against nature law, banning oral and anal sex. but come to think of it, cuch

wasn't the only republican who seemed the to be obsessed with the nether regions of the american people in 2013. women may not ever feel quite the same about visiting the gynecologist after watching this creepy anti-obamacare ad. ♪ ahh! >> ladies, let's take a moment to shiver in horror together. could we all just agree that invoking the idea of a strange masked man between a woman's legs in one of our most vulnerable moments is not the way to make a legitimate critique of obamacare? probably not. since not even the private parts of partially formed humans were immune to republican imagination this year. thanks to texas representative michael burgas, the congressional record is forever scarred by the mention of masturbating fetuses. in the midst of a debate over a

bill that would outlaw abortions after 20 weeks, burgas was trying to make a point about fetal pain. it's a specious claim, but those opposed to reproductive rights use it to justify abortion bans. but he took it to another level he said, watch a sonogram of a 15-week baby, and they have movements that are purposeful. they stroke their face. if they're a male baby, they may have their hand between their legs. if they feel pleasure, why is it so hard to believe they could feel pain? masturbating fetuses, people, that happened. you know it's been a whacky year in politics when the news made by our lawmakers seems perfectly placed in a news show alongside coverage of stories like this. >> last night on the sci-fi channel, a movie with little buildup and a premise and execution so over-the-top, word of mouth spread and people started tuning in and kept talking about it into today. for starters, there's the title, "sharknado," as in, what happens

when you combine sharks with a tornado. >> okay, in any other year, coverage of hammy, bad, overacting in the middle of an kplauzable, contrived catastrophe that has captured the attention of millions of americans would seem to be out of the realm of serious news coverage. but this was 2013. >> 600 americans took the lincoln memorial on saturday! we took that hill. and this is the police lineup tape! this is our consolation prize! and so the obama administration -- this is our symbol. >> yep. 2013 was the year that the united states put a "closed" sign on the door. the year that made covering government even more on surd than covering a movie where sharks rain from the sky, and all because of this. >> do you like green eggs and

ham? i do not like them, sam i am, i do not like green eggs and ham. >> thanks to senator ted cruz and his 21-hour non-filibuster, we have to take seriously, at least one scene in "sharknado" when we consider who's to blame for our troubles in 2013. >> it's the government. >> yeah. >> with a big, capital "g." they're behind everything. they control it all. and the weather too. >> joining me today is people especially equipped to look back at laughter in 2013, a table full of comedians. jamie killstein, co-host of citizen radio. deen an dal loe, which is comedian and writer for the daily beast and editor at deans report blog. and emmy award-winning comedian and actor, judy gold. so nice to have you all here. >> nice to be here. >> there was a way in which this year just kept writing its own punch lines. the "green eggs and ham," every

time i see it, it is still funny to me. >> horrifying. and i get kind of personally offended by the ridiculousness. because, you know, we who speak of such things can't stand idly by and pretend it didn't happen, yet now you're pulling me into your mania when you make me comment. i have to now take this seriously. i got so upset at "green eggs and ham," and what bothers me most is not that it happened, but that he said, i do not like them, here or there. and he moved his hand. not here or there. so it's the perfect combination of, i have 100% conviction of what i'm saying, i have zero comprehension of what i'm saying, with the movements, and with my hands and words and government. >> words and government, and hand motions. >> i love your idea soft pundits being so angry, where it's like, finally, my big break on msnbc, time to talk about the military industrial complex. and it's like, what did ted cruz do? a kid's book?

all right, i've got to write jokes about dr. seuss. >> he said he read that at 8:00 because his child was going to sleep and she could watch it on c-span 2. if you're kidding is watching c-span 2, it's like that's abuse. >> my kid is probably watching c-span 2. >> that's like the hipster channel for c-span. >> ting the saddest part is that he has daughters. well, he's not very pro-women, in many ways. and that disturbs me. whenever there are men like this that are so conservative and so against, really, it is a personal affront against women's rights, and they have daughters. that, to me is terrible. >> you've got to figure, kids are always going to rebel against their parents. i figure that my daughter is going to be a born-again, free-market libertarian. but having grown up with a sort of racially angsty feminist liberal mom.

>> we should start like a secret book club for like the daughters of rich, white republicans. where just like once a month, we mail them bell hooks. >> yes! >> from, anonymous. >> read this! >> you know, i love what you were saying about this idea that even when things are meant to be serious, they became hilarious. i want to watch senator marco rubio giving the response to the state of the union. let's take a look. >> nothing has frustrated me more than false choices like the one the president laid out tonight. >> i almost hate to make fun of that. what was that? >> dry mouth. apparently he's going through menopause or something. >> i did a better job -- like, when i was stoned and 16 and coming back from a fish concert, i played it more cool than that. i was like, good night. >> yeah -- >> at least ted cruz, the miley

cyrus of the senate, can deal with the whole -- that's what he is. he's like kim kardashian of the senate. but at least he can shine the spotlight. marco rubio is not ready for prime-time, when you watch him do that. it makes you uncomfortable. >> i need you to explain to me why ted cruz is the miley -- is he twerking? >> not yet, but he'll do anything for attention. he will twerk. he will swing naked -- >> he is the wrecking ball. >> he's the wrecking ball, i got it. >> let's go easy on kim kardashian. >> but whenever i see marco rubio speak now, all i focus on -- he must have some issue. all i can think about. >> it's unbelievable. >> there's one more great moment i want us to take a great look at. this is rand paul, who maybe also needed someone to explain this. this is him explaining black history very badly at howard university. >> the first, one the first african-american u.s. senators,

i'm blanking on his name. edwin brooks. our graduate! >> we have to acknowledge, or maybe i have to, or we have, that he did the classic, african-american -- where it just trips -- every syllable is fighting your way -- what are you thinking when you say african-american. >> when i very first got the show and my producers put in the scripts in the prompter and they would write naacp. i was like, if you just put in two as. i got it. no problem. i got it. speaking of which, for all of you, for the rest of the show, you are each going to have three race cards, that you can play at any point during the show. and if you play a race card, what you're going to hear is this. [ siren blaring ] >> if at any point you need to play your race card because of something that's being said, play your race card, we'll hear the siren and we'll stop and talk about it. stay right there, everybody. up next, what did the president

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we've had this problem with the website. i'm not happy about that. but we're working overtime to make sure that it gets fixed, because right now, we've put in place a system, a market place, where people can get affordable health care plans. you know, i promise you, nobody's been more frustrated. i want to go in and fix it myself, but i don't write code, so. >> so that was president obama trying to make light of the difficulty with the healthcare.gov website.

but the truth is, it was hardly a laughing matter. so let's make it one. jamie? >> okay, so, first, to save my twitter and defend obama, when -- i think you really want to defend the website and defend obamacare, because the right wing is crazy. where they're like, he's like hitler. like, i don't hitler being like, health care for kids! i don't know why this is my hitler move. but -- >> i can't believe you went hitler and it's not even 10:30. >> it was between doing that or -- >> i either do a hitler or masturbation joke before 11:00 every day. so the problem is, you know what wouldn't require a website at all? medicare for all. bring it on, twitter! this is what happens when democrats in general start to compromise with the right. no matter what you do, this is so far from socialism, and the right wing is going to call you

socialism, so why not propose something like medicare for all, and then you don't have to deal with all this silly bureaucracy. what's happening is, the website sucks, right? and when the website sucks, you are giving the right wing something to criticize. >> it doesn't suck anymore. it sucked initially, but now it doesn't suck. >> you're an adult and i'm not. >> here's the thing. if i was president and there was a program named after me, like obeidallah care or dean-aid, that would be on facebook. i would have games on it. people were like, this website, it's fabulous! because you know the republicans are looking for any reason. they voted to repeal obamacare over 40 times. they're looking for any excuse. i know the president has to delegate. you can't be in charge of everything, but this is something. like people are calling it obamacare. i want this to be beautiful. >> i kind of love that. it is true that the website is now working. we've had -- if you just sort of look at the numbers of folks who have signed up, you see this extraordinary increase in the number who have visited and who can now concurrently use and all of that kind of thing.

but that said, i like this idea, if it's called obamacare, you want it to be great. that's one of the weird things that happened when they named the show, melissa harris-perry. i don't know if you've ever noticed the color of the set, but this is my attempt to have a tiffany blue set. i was like, if it's going to be named after me, i want to sit in the middle of a tiffany box. so make it beautiful if it's named after you. >> if it was called something else, it wouldn't be matter. and i'm sure -- in retrospect, if we would have known the pushback on this thing. >> he wouldn't have gone to law school, to coding school. >> if it was beautiful, there would be criticisms, they put so much money into the website, and they're not substance or about the way it looks. >> but i'm wondering, government creating a website. like, the government -- day don't do anything in a great, productive way. >> oh, the post office -- this is what we looked at christmas, right? the post office, way better than fedex. >> agreed. >> that's true. >> and war crimes, we're very

good at as well. the website does not work. it is currently down. >> but you're absolutely right. they would have said it was the kim kardashian of websites. >> but at least -- >> the ted cruz of websites. >> the poll rating is down to like 42%. and one of the biggest components, the reason it's down is obamacare. even though people aren't signing up for it, it's the website. it's all the website. everybody gets a website that's working. >> but what if people actually have health care, then i think, the thing is, he's got time to rebound. and my expectation is, once the website now is functioning. and the big deal is, once people actually go to see their doctors. let's go back and look at creepy uncle sam again. once people see their doctors and their doctor doesn't look like this, let's take a look again. >> okay, let's have a look.

>> ahh! >> see, once that doesn't happen -- >> yeah, we didn't need that. >> comfortably stop taking robitussin for appendicitis. >> i feel like we're missing a really important point. it's the affordable care act. it is the affordable care act. we don't refer to it as the affordable care act, but as we all know, when you interview people on the street and they compare obamacare and the affordable care act, they don't know it's the exact same thing. >> by the way, my doctor wears a mask, before obamacare, he's always worn a mask. i get a discount that way. don't even look at me. he drives around in a van, comes to my apartment, i get treated, and it's much cheaper. >> is this a medical marijuana doctor? >> i actually don't do that. >> that is profiling! >> jamie did it! race card.

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if any group of elected officials have given us material to work with in 2013, it has been the mayors, or in some cases, would-be mayors. there was san diego mayor, bob "can't keep his hands to himself" filner, who was accused of numerous acts of sexual harassment, attended rehab for two weeks, stepped down august 30th, and pled guilty to three charges of sexual harassment in october. and we can't forget crack-smoking toronto mayor, rob ford, who knocked over a councilwoman as she and her fellow council members were voting to strip the mayor of his governing powers. then there's cory booker, a mayor from newark, new jersey, who won a seat in the u.s. senate. the social media maven hit a slight bump in the twitter road,

when he flirted via direct message with stripper lindsay lee, who took a snapshot of their back and forth exchange, in which booker says, "and the east coast loves you, and by the east coast, i mean me." and there was poor, sad, new york city mayoral candidate, anthony weiner, whose most memorable campaign moment was apologizing again for explicit messages that were sent to someone who was not his wife. oh, yeah. the mayors gave us life this year, even if it cost them an election or a job or two. so, in a way, filner's not funny. i mean, the man is convicted and ends up with probation and spending $1,500 in fines. but, the cascade of accusations and his unwillingness to live up to them was sort of hilarious. >> yeah, this is sort of patriarchy, right? >> sort of patriarchy. >> we just sort of expect guys to do that. you hear stories about that all

the time. like, boys will be boys, but it's sexual harassment. or earlier in the show, when you were talking about the transvaginal ultrasounds, the fact that a male politician could propose that and just think that it was going to be okay, patriarchy, right? if elizabeth warren was like, we're going to put sticks up guy's pee holes, we would burn her publicly as a witch. she would be burned on fox news. but dudes think they can just do that. when it comes from street harassment to like elected officials. they think that women are just here to be touched and gawked at and made to feel uncomfortable. >> and filner had been a united states congressman before mayor, and some of the allegations, he told a woman who worked with him, you should take your panties off at work. in what part of your mind-set -- you know, i think this is reasonable to say this, even on madmen they didn't do this kind of thing. and that's the world it comes from. how are you that out of date. how are you such a dinosaur. and he kept fighting, i'm not going to resign.

>> when you say it's petre patriarchy, it really is, he had good lefty democratic politics, but yet here he was behaving like this. >> and the fact they think it's okay. they look surprised? like, what did i do? hello! it's unbelievable. >> a lot of times it's even worse on the left, because we think that we are sort of this -- like racism on the left, right? well, i went to mackelmore. and then, they're like, i'm pro-abortion, yeah, and you're trying to knock everybody up. and they think because they're pro-choice or because they defended michele bachmann on twitter, they're these staunch feminists and then they go out and sexually harass their female coworkers, and they don't see a contradiction because of patriarchy. >> i think the saddest part of it is watching the wife standing up there, next to their -- that breaks my heart. >> filner's wife didn't. she was like, and i'm out.

nope, good luck with that, my friend. anybody have a favorite moment from our toronto mayor? >> oh, god. there's so many. >> him running into the cameraman, and then into the elected officials. and is it just me, he reminds me so much of chris farley's matt foley, down by the river, and it was so funny, but sad, because chris farley died because of drugs. and this guy is so obloblivio o that. >> i had to check myself before i wreck myself. i didn't see crack coming -- i didn't know it would be crack. >> yes. >> i was really -- like, really? >> all those movies -- >> this is a new version of cousin pookie that we have. but it does help to break down exactly those stereotypes about who uses those sorts of drugs.

who looks like a drug addict. before we go, i have a question that came out of -- there's a way in which the mayor of newark was elected to the u.s. senate, would have once been a bunchline. it's kind of extraordinary that that is now neither a setup nor a punch line for a joke. but, did anybody know there were vegan strip clubs? i mean, this is new information for me. >> jamie -- >> i mean, you're a pretty serious vegan. >> i'm like a hard-core vegan, and i didn't -- i don't know, man. the thing is, too, i always have to sort of like when i go on the road, i'll google vegan restaurants, i'm like, i got to support local businesses and i want to support organic food and stuff like that. and i was like, if i was in newark, would that -- >> no, it's in portland. it's in portland. >> oh, -- >> but if allison kylkinney is at home watching, she thinks it's not okay for you to go. >> she is at home and she loves me. when we come back, the

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the 2013 virginia governor's race. the political world was riveted by this race. here on "mhp show," this was the election that led us to watch, cuch watch, anal sex, cunnilingus, transvaginal, and eww on television this year. and the elections had the candidates saying a lot of interesting things both on and off the campaign trail. >> my personal beliefs about the personal challenge of homosexuality haven't changed. >> we care about people. we care about the black

community and the poverty that exists in the inner city. we care about those single mothers, who are caught up in the intergenerational poverty that welfare provides. we care about those hispanic families. we care about those people out there. but the difference is, we don't want them dependent upon us or anybody else. >> king george iii and the parliament of great britain that we rebelled against respected the liberty of the colonists of americans more than the congress and the president of the united states of america. >> get the government off our backs, off our property, off our guns, out of our families, out of our health care, and out of our way! >> i am playing the race card on e.w. jackson! talking about the -- no, e.w., that wasn't okay, nope. >> e.w. is the guy who said that

the planned parenthood was worse than the clan for black people. and he said that with a straight face. him and ted cruz both went to harvard law school. what are they teaching at harvard law school at this point? >> but the president went there too? >> but different classes. >> completely different -- but cuccinelli and e.w., that's like crazy and crazier. but they a mainstream politician and cuccinelli came within two points of winning. >> there's a certain absurdity that terry mcauliffe becomes the progressive behind which people have to get in this case. but it's maddening. >> and it's also maddening that he is young. he is a young person who is grown up in a time where we are accepting, and we are tolerant, and we do encounter all different kinds of people who are open about their sexuality and open about who they are. and the fact that he is younger than i am, i mean, i'm, you know, it is just, it kills me.

>> but it's a reminder. when we see those statistics showing the increasing support for marriage equality amongunder merges, it's easy to think, all we have to do is wait for the old folks to die, the young people will take over, there's no difference. >> that's the scary -- >> no progress without struggle. >> i have to say, as a gay person -- >> what, you're gay? >> yeah, hey, mom! >> i didn't know that! >> you're not outing yourself at this moment. >> any person who says that it is a choice, this is my belief, is that they have made this choice. and it is absolutely 100% not a choice. and i can tell you as a gay person, it is not a choice. it is not something we choose. but if you are so adamant that it is a choice, at some point in your life, you must have made that choice. >> let me also suggest, if it were a choice, it wouldn't suggest that one ought not have civil rights, right? there's a weird thing going on if we're going to play race card again. there's a weird thing that goes on with discussions about the

president's race, because he has a white person and an african-american president, peop people will say, he's not a black -- but this is a president who chooses to identify as black. so making that choice, affirmatively attaching himself to blackness is part of -- i mean, it shouldn't therefore throw him out of the race. >> but he can't hide that. you know, the thing is, when you're gay, you can hide it. you can go in the closet. but he cannot. >> people don't know by looking at me that i'm gay, so -- >> let me get your number. >> one of the things that this audience and like left-wing audiences also need to focus on, is that we should be 100% done voting for any democrat who is like, i can kind of see where these conservatives are coming from, when it comes to homophobia. it has to be like, straight-up, with your a bigot. it is almost 2014. we don't support bigots. like, any democrats, when you look at these guys, it's ridiculous. any democrat, if they wanted to,

could smash them in debates, where really all we're saying is, we want equal rights for all. and what's the bigot going to say? uh, angels. >> you took this question of any democrat. if you're looking forward to 2016. all this race ever is about sort of what will 2016 mean, i'm interested in who would be a fun pairing for you, either in the democratic or the republican party, for president and vice president. for me, for democrats, i would love lizabeth warren, because then the bumper stickers are warren/castro. and i think a lot of republicans would vote for a war on castro, right? i think if we could trick some people -- right, that would be good? any other good pairings? >> hillary clinton and anthony weiner, only as a comedian. >> oh, wow. that would be good for a comedy. >> move to another planet? >> clinton/weiner. i like clinton/weiner. >> i am about to ruin this bit, just so aggressively ruin it. all i want is a democrat who owns being a democrat. all i want is a democrat who

says, i'm pro-women, i'm prolbgt, including the t, i'm anti-war, i'm for health care, i'm for education, i want to get rid of poverty, end the war on drugs -- >> do you have a name? >> no! no. because none of them are going on tv. we have these mainstream people who say, i can see what the republicans are saying. we need to reach across the aisle. with those people? >> but the tea party departments. and in the other way, bill grassgrasde blasio, the mayor of new york city -- >> bill de blasio was until he got bill bradden put in as the police commissioner. >> everybody stay with us, when we come back, not only is jamie going to read his twitter feed, which is undoubtedly going nuts, but we'll play the game, who tweeted that and we've got lots of twits to choose from. [ woman 1 ] why do i cook?

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in 2013, that was the question, for our annual look back at laughter, we have brought back the pop quiz! this day, we're playing who tweeted that? and you want to remember how to play? i'm going to read a tweet out loud, and i'll be asking my guests here on set to ring their bells, do a practice ring. , when they know the answer. it will be multiple choice this time. so here we go. the first tweet, or twit, let's start with an easy one. who tweeted on december 1st, today, we remember rosa parks' bold stand in her role in ending racism. was it reince priebus, the dnc, or rnc? >> rnc. sorry, i tweeted? >> that is true. it is the rnc.

it took them a little bit of time to -- >> realize racism is over. >> my newest pet peeve with the republicans, i was watching msnbc, i was watching and they brought on a white racist republican, and republicans -- their like biggest name-dropping thing, they always try to name drop abraham lincoln. they're like, tell my why abraham lincoln was a republican. it's like, yo, if that's the last dude you have, who was also kind of racist. >> i will say, abraham is my favorite kind of racist. i don't care if you have bad emotions about me if you end slavery. do not care. if anyone actually wants to know what rosa parks did, feel free to read this lovely new book. all right, tweet number two, which u.s. congressman alluded to a tragic chapter in american

history in a marched madness tweet that read, "it's official, ohio state is luckiest term in the tournament, #trailoftears." was this iowa representative bruce braley, tim brian, or speaker john boehner. >> whichever one of those guys is a white guy. >> they're all all white guys. >> iowa representative, bruce braley. >> that's right! >> i only knew the name. i didn't know the answer until i saw the name. i was like, i know that name. >> we know that the trail of tears is about genocide, about the forced relocation of indigenous people. >> or a hashtag. >> history or my tweet. >> either one, all good. tweet number three, one thing twitter is also known for, undoubtedly, is twitter beef. and one of the most classic twitter beefs this year came from a rapper. the tweet was, jimmy kimmel, put yourself in my shoes. oh, no, that means you would have gotten too much good p-word in your life.

was that jay-z, cuchi or kanye west. >> i can't even begin with the hilarity of -- >> kanye was everything this year, wasn't he? >> every bit of all things. >> it was awesome, right? >> it was awesome. like, white people panicked! >> i'm terrified! >> i was like, i'm pretty sure black people panicked. like, are you going to shame the race? again, today? really?! >> race card! if i say shame the race, i'm pretty sure i've got to put that one out there. >> are you the only one who's used a race card. >> next, in february, former iranian president ahmadinejad said he wanted to be the first iranian to go into space, but

this member of the senate foreign relations committee tweeted, so, ahmadinejad wants to be the first iranian in space, wasn't he just there last week? and the tweet concluded with a link to an article entitled, "iran launches monkeys into space." your choices, marco rubio, john mccain, or ron paul? >> and race time at the same time! because i'm muslim. that was john mccain called ahmadinejad, who's an idiot, who i don't like at all, but calling him a monkey, because he was muslim and brownish. even though i look like a white guy. >> and fun fact, he's not, in fact, a monkey. >> he's a horrible person, ahmadinejad, but he's not a monkey. >> the last one i've got here, this is -- had a crucial photo that went along with the tweet, but we can't show you the photo yet, it would give it away. but the tweet read in part, 70 is the new 50. and then included a photo to indicate just how awesome this 70-year-old looked in the buff. was it barry manilow, heraldo

rivera or mick jagger. >> and he is really hot. he's switching me right over. >> the rest of his tweet said, erica, who's his wife, and family, are going to be so pissed, but at his age, he was pretty excited to show his buffedness to us all. it was a lot. >> he was in decent shape. it wasn't like weiner, though. >> no -- >> there he is. >> it was above the -- >> it was. it was above the median, above fold, as we like to say. >> how much attention does he need? how much attention does geraldo -- >> we have more pictures coming up. a picture is often worth a thousand laughs. we'll play catch them in that 2013 photo. [ woman ] too weak. wears off. [ female announcer ] stop searching and start repairing. eucerin professional repair moisturizes while actually repairing very dry skin. the end of trial and error has arrived. try a free sample at eucerinus.com.

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if you have ever accidentally lost hours in the cyberrabbit hole of awkwardfamilyphotos.com, then you already know that

photographs can offer some of the most robust belly laughs. and in the world of politics, the reactions to photographs can up the absurdity ante in the public sphere. so we thought it would be fun to take a look at some of the most talked about pictures of the year. all right, funny folks, we've pulled some of our favorite 2013 photos. and some of it was less the photo and more the response. so let's look at this one from may. this is during a press conference with president obama and the turkish prime minister, in which it began to rain. anybody want to play a caption for me on that photo? >> this is -- anyone? >> the right wing went absolutely nuts about this picture. there was a suggestion, somehow, that president obama was misusing the marines for having them hold -- >> it looks like a scene for a broadway show, because he's in the uniform. >> misusing the marines is sending them to bomb countries that are not a threat to us, not

using their umbrella. i think if a guy is holding an umbrella, that's a fantastic use for a marine. and i would much rather marines get umbrellas than being shipped over to other countries. that's just me, ruining another bit. >> that was a really long caption. >> the marine looks to me as if he's trapped in thought. what do i do next? do i hold his hand? >> like they're going to go waltz now or something. >> so we have another one that just became one of our favorites. this was another world leader moment, with president obama and in this case, one of his dear friends, russian president, vladimir putin. and this picture and the body language of these guys, anybody want to give me a caption on this one? my caption is vladimir putin saying i got your super bowl ring and your nsa league. what you going to do about that? >> i've got obama being like, i'm going to send so gay people to those putin's saying, look a

my crotch. this is a crotch shot. >> there's a lot of kind of like manly positioning happening there. >> there was, of course, also a photograph that became a scandalous selfie, right at the end of the year here. it was president obama taking a selfie at the funeral of president nelson mandela. and this selfie and the sort of moment of the first lady was captured and it created lots of angst in the public sphere. any captions for that one? >> "smile!" maybe. >> michelle's thinking, it's all a trade-off. i get to live in the white house, but with a child. >> oh, no! >> i'm saying that from her point of view. we're all children. >> the selfie thing was kind of ridiculous, because it was at mande mandela's funeral. but there were plenty of pictures of michelle smiling and not doing that. and i think that's just like, angry black woman. >> first lady obama did not seem to be angry. she seems to actually like her

husband plenty. >> they're doing just fine. >> let me show you another photo that caused all kinds of emotions. it was a first lady photograph, a photograph of the first lady when she changed her hairstyle at the beginning of the year and decided to wear bangs. this picture of first lady obama in bangs just created all kinds of emotions. any captions for that one? >> wow. she's the queen. that's always my caption. >> it's very important. her bangs are really important. >> i figured the caption was, "somebody's playing olivia pope." >> i haven't watched season two. i'm like, i'm not going to listen to where this goes. >> one that was pretty cute, everybody loved a baby picture. and this was one that really, a lot of people had emotions about this baby picture this year. this is the romney family. and, of course, they're on governor romney's knee is his

adopted grandson, who is an african-american, adopted african-american child, keeren romney. captions for this one? >> one of these things is not -- >> and that little baby, front and center, would be the one. >> and isn't he the most gorgeous? my goal is that in 2040, the biggest thing of the year will be the wedding between keeren romney and north west. can you imagine mitt romney and kanye west as in-laws. >> i think this picture is great. it's really sums up the diversity of the republican party, the rnc. at the convention, they find the one black person. >> we still have so much to get to, including the annual look back in laughter and tradition of asking, hey, was that racist? so don't go anywhere. there's, of course, more nerdland at the top of the hour. avo: the volkswagen "sign then drive

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welcome back. i'm melissa harris-perry, and we are back with the annual nerdland look back in laughter. i'll tell you what, the mainstream media talked a lot about feminism this year. lean in, leaning out. having it all! beyonce, uh! miley. michelle obama. wendy davis. mala malala, janet yellin. and republicans learning how to talk to women. it's been quite a year for the ladies. so once again, my panel this morning is actor and performer, pia glen, co-host of citizen radio, jamie killstein, dean obeidallah, and award-winning comedian and actor judy gold.

so panel, what have you guys learned about pem feminism this year? >> people love rich, white feminism. >> the kind of cheryl sandberg. >> and then you're like, what about trans people and black people? and they're like, i've got to go! people freak out when there are powerful women. people freaked out about beyonce. i was actually talking about this with allison the other day. she was talking like, with beyonce, everyone says she's not a feminist because she owns her sexuality. but then she puts out this amazing album and she has a song where she's rapping about having sex with her husband. which is a conservative value. >> but it is not conservative sense. i know way too much about them now. we be all night too. >> i feel like, even if she never talked about sex, even if she, like, wore like a poncho

and was rapping about like, making my family dinner, people would still be like, whore! people get so mad. >> there was this notion of beyonce as a feminist nightmare. but the one thing i wanted to ask about was this cold argument, that michele bachmann, that first lady michele bachmann counts as a feminist nightmare, and i mean, that was just -- it was just too much. >> absolutely too much. it's such a blatant attack. why don't you just say -- i can't use the language -- >> you're going to lean -- >> let jamie do it. he'll do it. >> you ruin everything. but this horrifying black woman, daring to be intelligent and articulate and perhaps love her husband. ahhh! and you have to just run and scream and decry us and say, we're a feminist nightmare. really, though? >> can i just say, it must be so hard to be a woman in america? >> honey! >> you can say that!

feel free to say that! >> right now we have the most female ceos of fortune 500 companies ever. there are the most female senators ever. still, it's a struggle to have representation by your gender. still, three women are killed every day in the united states by domestic violence, every day. no one talks about this. >> you know what the real war on women is? i would like to listen to a rom congresswoman, but congresswoman ellmers, who is the head of the republican women's caucus. let's take a listen. >> it's often women who make the health care decisions for our families. we put a lot of time and thought into these choices and how they'll affect our budgets. so by canceling your insurance, despite a promise to let you keep your plan, the obama administration is essentially saying, it knows best for you and your family. if you want to talk about a war on women, look no further than this health care law. >> so, the president has

declared a war on women. >> yeah. this is so infuriating, on so many levels. how dare you speak for women, when you are clearly not someone who really understands what it's like to be -- i mean, she's a white woman, she's a republican -- like, what is that? honestly, what is that? no one represents you. no one really cares about you, in your party. i mean, it really does seem to me that the republicans really do not care about women, women's issues. the fact that they attack planned parenthood, when planned parenthood is the number one health care for so many women. especially poor women. and you say things like that? the fear -- all they care about is fear. >> and you can point to her as an ally, and it would be an uncle tom. right? she's an anti-tomisina, just sitting there, saying look --

>> but it's more genuine if they were supporting equal pay legislation. they were opposed it to last year. i know this is not funny at all, but we have an institutionalized system in this country -- i'm sorry, i'm channeling jamie. it's as if no one will talk about the real issues for women. and the republican party doesn't want government interference, except when it's controlling women. >> it's interesting that in a certain way, we began with beyonce, because all things begin with beyonce. and then we end up here, in part because there is this connection between these pop culture representations of feminism. what we think feminism looks like and what it's supposed to look like. and then these questions of public policy. and you know, there's kind of, you know, this notion on the one hand of saying, to own your sexuality and to be able to talk about having, you know, good, fabulous, wonderful sex with your husband. but that also requires that you have access to birth control so when you have the good, fabulous, wonderful sex with

your husband, that you don't have to have a baby every time. those public policies are actually connected to those perceptions of -- >> why are these people that are so against birth control, they should have 17 children? why don't they have 17 children? >> some of them do -- >> did you see that mitt romney picture. >> but a lot of them don't. and a lot of them do practice these, you know, using birth control and other things -- yes, there are complete -- >> and it's about control. where it's, you know, day do think about women. that's the thing. it's not like they're ignoring women to throw them around the bus. it's control. it's a bunch of scared old white dudes with scared little boners who are scared their wives are going to live them. >> i would love to think it was that simple. but i guess, part of what i would want to suggest is, we do see it, as we've said before, with filner, on the left and the right. so people who both supported the good policies, but then were bad in terms of the practice. but i guess we also wonder, is there actually kind of a funny

thing going on in the world, where this 113th congress with the most women in it, doesn't make any laws. really, it makes the fewest laws, but at the state level, you have extremely aggressive laws, almost all focused on women's bodies. what is up with that? they are obsessed. obsessed! >> i think it's fear of change, right? you see some of the most -- like, you saw some of the worst racism as civil rights legislation was being passed. you're seeing some of the worst homophobia now that gay marriage is starting to be passed. and like, you know, they do see women starting to stick up for themselves. and they do see women -- >> so this is the backlash, this is the post hillary clinton and sarah palin, which whatever your critiques, sarah palin really was the vice presidential candidate for the republican party, right? and a young woman still bearing children, right? in that role, right? so even if you don't agree with her politics. so maybe this is a sort of weird, backlash -- >> yeah, because the bodies are scary. the sexuality of a woman's body.

and we have it more with beyonce, who has everybody's body. and you see some -- the double standard of miley cyrus, who i'm not -- but doesn't have visible secondary -- >> and we were talking about that before, with street harassment, it's like, men feel like women are there for us. and so we don't get why they would want birth control. does that mean you're going to sleep with someone else? we don't get why, when you say, hey, nice cans at a subway, they don't come home with us. it's like, we want that control. >> i'll tell you what, my comedians are all going to be forced to drink during the commercial, so they can get their funny back, because they've got real serious about sexism and feminism. but when we come back, we're going to stay on the question of women's bodies. i'm not kidding you, we are basically ratings whores, so we're going to do a segment about kate middleton and kim kardashian when we come back. [ sneezes, coughs ]

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pop culture loves the baby bump, but it really, really hates the post-baby bumps. the tabloids expect flat abs and tight dresses and a magical weight loss story within weeks after giving birth to, you know, a human person. and the post baby bump has become a source of shame. kate middleton appeared the day after giving birth to prince george with perfect hair and makeup, but with her bump clearly visible through her dress. but that very same day, less than 24 days after the prince's birth, "ok!" magazine released a story with her baby weight loss regime, and a quote from her trainer, saying the duchess'

stomach will shrink straight back. they later apologized. a somewhat less royal mom's facebook post went viral. a post of herself with her washboard abs surrounded by her three months, the youngest of which was eight months, with a caption, what's your excuse. this is about the control of women's bodies. >> the obsession and the sexualization and, you know, it just reminds me, chris christie went on "letterman" and ate a doughnut, and it was the funniest thing -- oh, he's making fun of his body. isn't that great? if a morbidly obese woman went on "letterman" and ate a doughnut like that, and made fun -- they would be like, you're disgusting. >> you remember during kim kardashian's pregnancy, she was wearing a black and white dress and put her and a picture of orka the killer whale. and that was fine. is it more women judging other women, or is it men -- we won't

say this out loud, because we know better, we might think, she looks a little fat, but we're not going to say that. >> i guess it's more this notion of public expectation. that idea of, what's your excuse? my excuse is that i just had a baby. you know? >> and genetics. >> and genetics. i'm going to take a picture of my cottage cheese ass and put that out. >> kim kardashian, clearly in response to the fat shaming that went on during her pregnancy, takes that astonishing picture of herself, with the look back at twitter, and of course her husband, or soon-to-be husband, her fe yoon c'est says, i'll br right home. not i'll be right home because we have a new baby, i'll be home because -- >> it's like the expectations of men. it takes two people to have a baby, right? and we kind of get the better end of the deal. you guys have to deliver a human and all i have to do is like finish. and then -- see, that was my alluding -- >> yes, uh-huh, got it.

>> finish, got it. >> bewe all think it's hilarious after a woman gives birth, the husband gets chubby. they're like, it's the cutest thing. the woman comes in, go back, fatty! and they get so mad! because, again, you are here for us to look at. >> such a double standard. >> but 2013 was a bit of a year of feminism. folks did push back. when c.h.i.p. hip olson of the of lululemon, and i'm glad i said lululemon, but when the founder of lululemon said some women's bodies just don't work if their pants. there was an outcry. we outcried a little bit here on the show and wilson stepped down. >> ridiculous. women's bodies have never worked -- >> what about the backlash against fit mom. not what she said, but seven to one the negative comments. thousands of negative comments, because she was in great shape. why can't she be proud, like a woman can be proud of their body? why can't you have both?

>> she didn't say, i'm proud, she said, what's your excuse. that's the difference. >> but for some people, that would be inspiring. for others -- >> if i spent six hours a day working out and doing ab exercises, i might look like -- >> you look good! >> no -- >> especially not eight months after giving birth. my experience as a nursing mom was skinny cows don't give milk. i know the stories, if you nurse, you'll lose -- not for me. >> i did see at least one tabloid poke fun at prince william's hairline, like, equality. i love that he's bravely going bald in front of the whole entire world. like, my receding hairline will be king. >> as i said, it's interesting what you say about this idea of being proud of being fabulously gorgeous. giselle, the supermodel, had this kind of incredible tweet pretty recently.

and so, there she is, nursing, and also having her hair, nails, and makeup done. now, it's hard -- like, you could look at that and say, oh, i hate that person, or you could look at her and say, apparently that is what it takes to look like a supermodel. one actually needs a whole staff. >> right. a great multi-tasker. >> yeah, it's so scary, what we think. i don't think people understand when they see, especially women on tv, and even like dudes on tv, like hugh jackman, the stuff they have to do. like, that is their full-time job to look like that. they have people who cook them meals, they have dietitians, they have personal trainers, like you said, they work out like six hours a day. you don't just look like that unless you're going to make it your full-time job and you can't expect people to, especially after pushing a human out of your body. >> which is part of what i love about beyonce's flawless, she's saying, just, like, whatever you woke up looking like, that's the thing that makes you flawless, not actually your giselle moment. because most of us do not have

full-time staffs. >> well, actually -- no. >> and also, the pressure women have on body image, that men -- i have a little body image issues, but it's not the same, and society does not push me to get in great shape. i can leave my t-shirt on, and that's fine. >> in the media, no one's like, did steve bu shshetti put on so pounds? >> he should put on some pounds, for his own health. >> there's a lot of hair element too. we have to be hairless. men have hair coming out of their nose and their ears -- >> it's everywhere. >> oh, he's cute, he's rugged. no, you know. >> women are more forgiving. you'll find something nice on any guy, which is remarkable. and i'm amazed at the couples, like, what would you see in him. and she said, i saw this in him. and i'm like, where?! >> but there are still challenges around masculinity, but they may not be appearance associated. what we think of that makes women valuable on a dating and marriage market may be about

physical beauty. for men, we make assumptions about power and wealth. therefore, men who are not powerful, wealthy, and masculine in very particular, narrowly described ways -- i do think it's whether or not they're hairless or thin, but it doesn't mean there aren't precipitations about what they're meant to be. >> that's also like, every romantic comedy, right? where it's just like, the really funny, like disheveled, dude, trying to date the supermodel. and who doesn't want to date him, and all you have to do is like harass her for 90 minutes, and then she'll have sex with you. >> but, of course, this is part of, for me, why as much as i know the standard discourse from lbgt organizations looking for marriage equality is to say that marriage he quality won't change marriage, the one fun thing about it is maybe it would change marriage in the sense that it might -- you know, even what we did here was to fall into a set of heterosexual, normative expectations. men want to marry women and men want to marry men. but maybe it looks different. maybe the expectations of

parenting and the expectations of what a wife or husband is are different when you're in -- >> right, there are no -- >> card, card! >> there are no, thank you so much. there are no specific roles. and you know, my kids have two -- well, now they basically have three moms. three jewish mothers. but, you know, there is -- you do what you have to do. you come through. it's not like, this is the way, you know, this is the role that you're going to play, this is the role i'm going to play. it's just not like that. and you know, let's get the religion out of the marriage. let's get -- it's not about -- >> well, if you want to individually have religion in your marriage, that's fine. >> as far as our government is concerned, and our equal rights are concerned. you want to get married in a church or a synagogue, have fun. >> yeah, when i saw that bigoted, anti-equality person on the kornacki show before this, who was against gay marriage and he's like, we have to protect straight marriage, it's like,

we're not doing a great job. >> you know what makes it harder? if you have to be thin 15 minutes after having a baby, it's a lot harder. >> up next from "duck dynasty" to kim-ye, what happens when politicians get real about reality tv. [ male announcer ] this is george. the day building a play set begins with a surprise twinge of back pain... and a choice. take up to 4 advil in a day or 2 aleve for all day relief. [ male announcer ] that's handy. ♪ since i've been using crest pro-health, i've noticed a huge improvement. [ male announcer ] go pro. for a clean that's up to four times better, try these crest pro-health products together. the toothpaste is really awesome. it cleans a lot. [ male announcer ] crest pro-health protects not just some, but all these areas dentists check most. this is gonna be a very good checkup. i feel it. [ male announcer ] go pro with crest pro-health toothpaste. always triclosan free.

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comments. his most recently came friday, that they would bring him back on the show. the governor said, today is a good day for the freedoms of speech and religious liberty. the left may control hd, but they don't control the hearts and minds of the majority of americans. now, there is a lot to unpack there, bobby. but instead of doing that, let's take a look at some of the other hall of fame contenders. now, there was president obama, talking about the good old days before reality tv, discussing the american dream. he said, "kids weren't monitoring every day what kim kardashian was wearing or where kanye west was going on vacation and thinking that that, somehow, was the mark of success." there was also senator john mccain who appeared on his daughter, meghan's, reality show, called "raising mccain." there he made awkward jokes with comedian michael ian black. you'll also remember, of course, that senator mccain tweeted jersey shore star, snooky, in

solidarity against a new tax on tanning beds in 2010. of course, none of these men hold a candle to the best of the worst, the granddaddy of everyone in the politician's gratuitously commenting on television's hall of fame, long before reality tv became a staple of our prime-time watching and our politician's jeremiahs, there was vice president dan quayle and there was the fictional news anchor, murphy brown, who had a child out of wedlock. now, here's quayle in 1992, blaming the nation's woes in part on a sitcom. >> it doesn't help matters when prime-time tv has "murphy brown," a character who supposedly epitomizes today's intelligent, highly paid professional woman, mocking the importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and calling it just another lifestyle choice. >> yes, tv has been ruining

america for a long time. not that we're seeing you shouldn't watch, because we've got more "mhp show" after the break. [ sniffles, coughs ] shhhh!

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eucerin professional repair moisturizes while actually repairing very dry skin. the end of trial and error has arrived. try a free sample at eucerinus.com. in 2009, when president obama was first inaugurated, some people proclaimed at the beginning of the post-racial era. so by the time of his second inauguration, you would think that the issue of racism would be virtually extinct, right? wrong. four months after our first biracial president was sworn in for a second term, the issue of race surfaced again, in of all things a tv commercial for a cereal. >> mom? >> yes, honey. >> dad told me that cheerios is good for your heart. is that true? >> says here that cheerios has whole grain oats that can help remove some cholesterol, and that's heart healthy.

>> jan! >> i mean, that provoked a collective, ahhh! and yet that add sparked so much racial fury that cheerios had to disable the comments section on its youtube channel. but it did stand by the add. if the nation can get worked up over an adorable child and her cereal, we know there's nothing post about our racial angst. i've got to tell you, the cheerios cereal thing was like, what, really? >> it was such an ugly reminder, and the commercial is adorable. >> if you go online, they did a video of kids reacting to this commercial. and it's unbelievable. it's like, why are they upset about it? it's unbelievable. >> and i love that the little girl looked like she could be their child. casting wise, they try to slap any old child with us, as long as you're darker than paper bag,

you are all black -- we'll see people that look like they're not from the same tree at all. >> the generational divide is very clear, even on gay marriage. 80% of millennials support gay marriage. when you compare phil johnson -- >> phil robertson. >> sorry, phil johnson, to honey boo boo. last year honey boo boo said, being gay ain't no big deal. and phil robertson is saying being gay is like bestiality and you're a terrorist. it took 25 years before the majority of americans said, i'm cool with interracial marriage. >> i love the idea that we should follow honey boo boo. if you're going to have a reality tv star, let it be honey. i want to play a comment from congressman steve king, speaking of race. let's listen to congressman king. >> for everyone who's a valedictorian, there's another hundred out there that they weigh 130 pounds and they've got calves the size of cantaloupes because they're hauling 75

pounds of marijuana across the desert. >> that was so bad that john boehner was like, that's not okay. >> is anyone else going to say -- it was a horrific -- is that too hackey? >> no, no, no. >> i mean, all these -- i mean, i think post-racial is such a dangerous term, right? whereas it's like, you have so many racist using barack obama as like america's black friend, right? where we still have michelle alexander calls it the new jim crow, the new interracialism. but we have a black president, so it's okay. and you see something as innocent as this really sweet ad, and people still freak out. and when it comes to king, and would republicans think black people are is their fault. when you're defunding, like schools and social programs and you wage this war on poverty and african-american communities, then they're going to become your stereotypes. >> but part of what's interesting about the congressman king, if we connect it back to our "duck dynasty" moment, and not so much the

comments about homosexuality, but the comments about race that came out of robertson at that point, is that they are talking about their own experiences. they're saying, my dad had a ranch and this is what i saw and experienced, right? i worked in these circumstances and this is what i saw and experienced. and there is something kind of -- there's a kind of lovely racial kninaivete, that your bef that what you're seeing from a latino, that's all of them. because they disappear. because they're not saying, i don't like these people. they're saying, i looked at them, here's what i see. >> they seem fine. >> i would love to celebrate that naivete as well. it's adorable and precious. but i want them to do their homework at home. i want them to ask someone before they speak in public sometimes. >> but i think it's important that they speak like this. so we're aware that this is really very prevalent in our country, this kind of thinking. it is really more prevalent than we -- >> it's selective memory, though. phil robertson grew up in

louisiana. the first protest against bus segregation was there in 1953, before alabama, before mississippi. 1953, dr. martin luther king was there. he was living in louisiana. how could he not know? do you think black people enjoyed using separate parts of the bus or separate entrances? i think it's selective memory. >> but that said, we are really good at performing -- i mean, and dancing. >> yeah, i was going to say, there is a survival performance aspect of race that is about, in fact, making people believe that you are happy, when you are not. there's a whole poem about it. beware the grins and lies. >> are you telling me that i cried while watching "the help" for nothing? i didn't support it. i didn't see it. >> that's right! you know, you can't get me started on "the help." >> what's the new one? "the butler"? >> but speaking of southerners

who were sort of speaking from their own experience, let's listen to paula deen, which happened this year. >> well, i have a young man in my life and his name is hollis johnson. and he's black as that board. >> is he here? >> stand up with, hollis. >> is hollis here? >> come here, hollis. we can't see you standing against that dark board. i tell people, this is my son by another father. i mean, i love this young man. >> hollis is her friend. >> right. we can't see him standing against that dark board, but that's her friend. >> oh, hollis. he comes when called. >> and hollis came when called, because that's her friend. >> he's obedient -- >> how do you not know that that's wrong? like, that's what i don't understand? >> i'm not defending her, but i have friends who make fun -- close friends who make fun of me

for being arabic and muslim. >> do day do it when there are cameras on them? >> no, but comedians are horrible people. >> there are some people who think they're oblivious, they're like, he's my friend, and i can say this racist stuff because i'm being funny about it. i have friends who call me a terrorist all the time for being arab, but they say it in a much more clever, funny way. >> but she doesn't know -- >> don't let your friends call me terrorists, my friend. no, no. you have abusive friendships. i have a number for you here. >> we'll hang out with you. >> will you be my friend? >> i'll totally be your friend. >> i need new friends. you're probably right. >> but she actually doesn't know. that's what's disturbing. she has no idea. >> she's helping. >> right, right. this is my point about racial naivete. there's like a mean, nasty version of racism, that is like, i know, and i know what you are, and i want to keep you -- and that's a little different than like, hey, everybody seemed happy. we were all good.

>> which is where hollis has to speak up, i think. that's why i speak up. we have to. because, you know, he could just happily, you know, come here, hollis, and she lets him sleep inside by the fireplace. and we're happy at paula deen's house. but somebody has to say something. >> for me, one of the best things about 2013 was the moral mondays movement and interracial groups of people who were saying something about the conservative legislature there. so it led a lot of people down to north carolina to have some conversations. most of it serious journalism, but the best one of the year turned out to be some serious journalism from "the daily show." let's take a look. >> if it hurts the whites, so be the it. if it hurts a bunch of lazy blacks that wants the government to give them everything, so be it. the law is not racist. >> of course the law is not racist. and you are not racist.

>> well, i've been called a bigot before. >> yes! that was my favorite moment of the year! he was like, well -- hmmm. >> truth be told. >> asif monte gets a pulitzer prize for that one. he's my friend. did a great job down there. >> and it turned eed out to be actual, revealing journalism. >> and it also equals that silence can equal a punch line. his lack of talking is like a joke from the 1930s or '40s. by not responding, it becomes funny, because it's revealing his inner thoughts to all of us. >> it's like, well, am i? well, i've been called that. >> points for honesty. >> and the lovely point, as he continues speaking, and we hear the, "you know we can hear you," which i kept wanting to say to republican lawmakers this year. like, you know we can hear you. up next, the moments from 2013

that didn't, clearly, have something to do with race, necessarily. and therefore, led us to have to ask the question, is that racist? [ male announcer ] this is george. the day building a play set begins with a surprise twinge of back pain... and a choice. take up to 4 advil in a day or 2 aleve for all day relief. [ male announcer ] that's handy. ♪

i think we both are clean freaks. i used to scrub the floor on my knees. [ daughter ] i've mastered the art of foot cleaning. oh, boy. oh, boy. oh, boy. [ carmel ] that drives me nuts. it gives me anxiety just thinking about how crazy they get. [ doorbell rings ] [ daughter ] oh, wow. [ carmel ] swiffer wetjet. you guys should try this. it's so easy. oh, my. [ gasps ] i just washed this floor. if i didn't see it i wouldn't believe it. [ carmel ] it did my heart good to see you cleaning. [ regina ] yeah, your generation has all the good stuff. [ daughter ] oh, yeah.

[ regina ] yeah, your generation has all the good stuff. stick with innovation. stick with power. stick with technology. get the new flexcare platinum from philips sonicare and save now. philips sonicare. you'd think after a few centuries of living with racism in america, by now we'd all be experts on knowing it when we see it. but if the events of 2013 were any indication, we've still got a lot of learning to do. and it seems that one person's obvious bigotry is another person's accidental racism. so, i thought i'd take it to my table today, with rapid-fire round to bring some clarity to the confusion and ask, was that racist? now, you might look at the table and notice, we have an empty chair. >> yes. >> hmm. >> what has happened to dean? we won't talk to it, because it is possible that in 2012, if you'll remember, there was a talking to an empty chair

situation. >> yes! none of us can go there. >> we will not talk to the mempy chair and dean will come back. >> the washington redskins this year took a lot of heat around their -- the pressure to change their name, but dan snyder has refused to do so. is that racist? >> yes. racist. >> jamie says racist. >> i have a race card, because i'm white and i didn't use my race card. yeah, totally. i mean, jesus, it's like, literally, white dudes, especially rich white dudes, all you have to do -- you're so privileged, as it is. all you have to do is listen to the people you're offending. that's literally the least you can do is listen. and if people are like, that's really triggering, that is like so offensive to my heritage. that's like you, as like, a white football owner. >> redskins not racist, #trailoftears. i've got another one. this was our first miss america of indian dissent was crowned. and it sparked a pretty strong

reaction on twitter, including a lot of folks saying that she doesn't remember what the united states is or isn't american enough. is that racist? >> you know, personally, i don't see color. >> so you didn't notice? >> of course it's racist. it's absolutely horrifyingly racist. it's so not okay to define my color. that's the whole point, who represents us. she has the crown. she's sparkling from head to toe. she's it. she's the queen. >> and it's like, have you not noticed our first lady is a tall, beautiful, fabulous brown woman. >> well, but she's a nightmare. >> a feminist nightmare. >> it's miss america, not miss white america. >> not miss white power america. >> speaking of miss white power america, halloween blackface took a big return this year. let me ask you, judy, halloween was a prime race territory this year. actress julianne hough wore blackface as part of her crazy yooiz costume from "orange is

the new black" and twitter users condemned her. was that racist? >> yes, it was racist. and there's so many other characters on that show that she could have been for halloween. >> first of all, does she have any friends that say, you know what, i wouldn't do that. ted danson did it, not good. >> my question was, and i wrote about it, and i said, i think it's the reverse. i think that she broke up with ryan seacrest and he's incredibly powerful. so she has friends, and he texted them all, listen, julian's got this cuckoo idea, tell her to go for it! everyone's like, yes, girl! >> you're now blaming this on ryan seacrest. that might be racist. that's not fair. >> conspiracy! >> all right. it's nice to have you back, dean. >> i'm back! what i missed was all racist. let's move on! >> so this one is a real challenge. we had some real fights about this one in nerdland. all right, so our friend, oprah winfrey, we actually don't know her at all. we just feel like she's -- you

know, she's like our friend. she's like our black friend. our friend, oprah winfrey, was a customer in a store in europe. let's take a listen to what her experiences were. >> i was in zurich for tina turner's wedding. i go into a store, which shall remain unnamed, and i say to the woman, excuse me, may i see that bag right above your head. and she says to me, no, it's too expensive. >> was that racist? >> well, people don't realize, the salesperson was paula deen. so yes, it was. i think it's so hard, and to be completely fair and honest, in that little moment, it's hard to say without knowing anything more about the salesperson. but if there was a history of the salespeople saying that to black people, obviously it's racist. i think oprah felt in her heart, deep down, she was treated differently because of her race, and i think you can't argue with that. she's feeling that vibe. >> is there any possibility that

this was americanist? like, is there any possibility that the reaction was oh, god, american tourist. which could have, you know, corresponded to race -- >> like, american tourist? >> no, no, no. >> american tourists are awful. >> that's what i'm saying! if we don't know the language, we shout louder. but at the same time, your job, you are a salesperson. your job is to sell that product. if you're talking someone out of buying that product or telling them they can't and she happens to be black, you're probably a total racist. >> i can't work up any racial angst about this. probably because the story starts, i was in zurich for teen turner turneena turner's wedding. >> i think you can be like, that's racist and i'm totally jealous of oprah. >> oh, my god, i'm just hating. that is what it is! >> i want to go to tina turner's

wedding. >> i appreciate that! it's not that i don't have racial angst, i'm just an awful, awful hater who also wanted to be in zurich at tina turner's wedding. god! yes, that's helpful. here's another moment that i did have a little bit of racial angst about. this is our lady, miley cyrus. and miley was having herself a good time in a wild performance at the vmas, where she attempted twerking, we've talked about that before, and part of the racial piece is that there were black women singing in the background. and for a lot of us, this felt like cultural appropriation. that was a lot of different things. was it racist? >> this is the problem. it's a lot of different things. that's the problem. she's got like every ingredient, she's made some big ambrosia salad of sexism and racism and there's weird things like coconut and slut shaming. all sorts of things are in there, and we can't even parse it. yes, she uses black women as props, shyes, she the approprias

the culture. yes, she has no idea what she's doing. and it's horrifying. and the part that it's not her fault, this is where it's awful, we have to parse it. it's not her fault that she loo way she does. if i wore her little outfit, i would be locked up in a paddy wagon. >> it can only be greater culture appropriation if she lighted a kwanzaa candle while she did it. thank you so much for making us laugh. and up next, what does nerdland have in common with vladimir putin? ♪ [ male announcer ] if we could see energy... what would we see? ♪

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this is the moment in the year when i get an opportunity to say thank you to the many

nerds who workday in and day out to produce this weekend program. our team is a deeply committed and passionate group of individuals without whom this show would not go on. if you see mistakes or errors or just general absurdity, that's me. when you see things that are smart, brilliant, and perfect, that's them. while we discuss and debate serious issues, don't be fooled. these nerds know how to have a little bit of fun as well. especially when it comes to fuzzy and not so fuzzy animals. in fact, this year we became obsessed when we learned that vladimir putin's spirit animal is that of this russian canine. see the bone structure, facial expression and general disposition are spot on. can't you tell? so naturally this year we thought we'd share our own spirit animals with you as we introduce the nerdland staff of 2013. have a safe and happy new year celebration. we're going to see you in 2014. roll it. ♪

♪ [ male announcer ] this is george. the day building a play set begins with a surprise twinge of back pain... and a choice. take up to 4 advil in a day or 2 aleve for all day relief. [ male announcer ] that's handy. ♪

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swanson makes holiday dishes delicious. an act of terror. it's a deadly attack in russia. does it raise new concerns about the coming olympic events? a new report on benghazi. is this the definitive word on whether al qaeda had anything to do with a september 11 killing of a u.s. ambassador? >> this is special agent anthony amoroso jr., federal bureau of information. today's date is january 7th, 1980. >> it was a scandal that blew up washington, d.c. more than 30 years ago. now it's been turned into a big-budget hollywood film. i will talk with a former