that you come and watch us every night. we try to do our best and we're going to do a lot more kick butt stuff in 2014. we're all extremely excited. so, goodnight from all of us at the "all in all-star 3/4 of a year in review show." see you in 2014. all right, so, end of the year show. one way to do it is the most important things that happened this year or the chronology of what happened this year. obviously, that's excruciatingly boring, and the thing we ought to do is the best things that happened this year. only the good things. >> yeah! good things! that's what we're about. >> we're never about good things, which is way we have a special segment on our show we reserve for good things. it's a very small segment, called "best new thing in the world." so, i think what we can put together -- i think we have enough -- i know we have enough. it's a question of whether we have enough actually good ones that still stand up the test of time and all that.

do we have a whole show worth of best new things that are freaking the best new things in the world that ought to be on for the end of the year show? >> easily. >> yes. >> easily. i've got one. we have about 44 minutes of program, 16 minutes of commercial. you can just play like this one six times. >> you like one so much more than all -- >> i personally do, yes. >> what is it? >> but he's gay. but he's gay. but he's gay, which has so much unexpected excellence. i mean, but he's gay? you could win with that alone, but then there's more. but there's more. it's so good, but he's gay. >> it is the most -- it's the most newsy of all of our best new things. we could put it right at the top because it's newsy. >> but he's gay. and then there's just secret, hidden surprises that happen. and you'd think that "but he's gay" would be the catch phrase of the century, like we should have a t-shirt, like "the rachel maddow show," but he's gay.

but it turns out there's an even better catch phrase that comes out in the middle of this. >> that's right, that's right! i remember. >> so good. >> best new thing in the world today. house republicans left d.c. today for williamsburg, virginia, for their annual retreat, a three-day event apparently called the 2013 congress of tomorrow, which is a little weird, right? as opposed to the 2013 congress of last month? anyway, it is their annual three-day retreat with briefings, speeches and strategy sessions, and politico.com reports two motivational speakers for house republicans. one used to tour as a comedian with garth brooks. the other is this man you see on your screen. his name is eric wine mare, an adventurer, famous for being the world's first blind person to climb mt. everest. and is this story starting to sound familiar? blind mountain climber? blind guy climbing mount everest? anyone remember one of the most

awesome news bloopers of all time? >> right after the break, we're going to interview eric wyhenmayer, who climbed the highest mountain in the world, but he's gay -- oh, he's gay, excuse me, he's blind. that's coming up. >> coming up, a look at the 6:00 -- >> he's gay. i mean, blind! an albuquerque news anchor in 2001, right? five years later, the clip was uploaded to youtube, for some reason, and a ka jillon people got to enjoy the best gay-not gay joke of all time. and yes, that is the same gay-blind mountain climber who will be motivating america's republican members of congress tonight. and the best thing about all of this is that eric wayanmare, the first blind person to climb everest and who is the most famous blind athlete in the world and who is not gay, he has demonstrated the best attitude about this blooper since he first heard it happening, as it was happening. this is reportedly the video of

mr. wayanmayer listening to that tease from the albuquerque station during that broadcast as he waited for the interview. as you can tell, it's bad quality video, but you can see him dying laughing as he hears the anchor say what she said. since this became a famous thing, he apparently even runs the video of that blooper when he makes his motivational speeches. he finds it hilarious. so, house republicans might be seeing this right now. a couple years after the blooper happened, that anchor who did it moved to a dallas station, and her new station staged a reunion. so, years later, she finally got to explain to eric why she said what she said. >> right before the story, we had done extensive coverage about the story of a woman who was gay. gay was in the head. >> ah hah. >> and then we came out for the tease for you and i was so excited, and boom it happened. and you were so gracious. we did the interview, we never talked about it and we moved on. and i'm sorry. >> oh, no, please. i should be thanking you.

it's greatest thing ever. >> it is the greatest thing ever. and the guy who thinks so is motivating all of the republican members of congress right now as we speak, which is the best new thing in the world today. and you guys, be careful, because gay is in the head. gay was in the head. >> gay was in the head. gay was in the head. >> gay was in the head. that's actually a better t-shirt. >> gay in the head. i say that's the best -- that's my favorite best new thing ever. >> all right. well, what else? who else has one? >> that doesn't top the fire-breathing dragon in detroit, with the deejay booth on the back. >> oh, yeah. >> and because detroit's going bankrupt, there's a lot of -- and the art is going to be sold, so they did this project to sort of save the arts. >> that was the save the art thing. and that was of all the best new things in the world this year, that was the most visually stunning one. the motor city, the great city of detroit, has produced lots of

great cars, lots of great art, lots of great music over the years, and now the great city of detroit has produced this. behold the light dragon! this is the brainchild of two artists, detroit-based artist ryan doyle and a hong kong-born artist named teddy lo. it's called the light dragon, made entirely of salvaged metal and rubber and lights. it is apparently 60 feet long and it weighs 17,000 pounds. it sits on top of a stripped-down 1963 dodge dump truck. it's equipped with 2,500 feet of color-changing l.e.d. lights. and because it is a dragon, naturally, it can breathe fire. no, really, it can shoot a 20-foot burst of flame through its dragon nostrils. that part is going to be really important later on in this story, so put a pin in that for a second. the city of detroit, as you may be aware, is going through a bit of a rough stretch right now, filing for bankruptcy in july.

they've been under the control of an emergency manager who makes all of the decisions regarding the city's finances, and that has rendered local democracy essentially dead in democracy. but one of the things that emergency manager did in the city recently was that he hired christie's auction house to appraise the art housed inside the amazing and iconic detroit institute of arts. the detroit institute of arts is one of the country's greatest art museums. it has a world-famous collection of rembrandts and michelangelos and diego riveras like you wouldn't believe. it is an incredible collection of art, and it is owned by the people of detroit. it's municipal owned. the city owns the collection. it belongs to detroit and its people, and when the emergency manager announced he was having the entire place appraised to find out its cash value, like in case he was going to sell it off, detroit started fighting back. and part of the way they have been fighting back is with art. and that is where the fire-breathing dragon comes in. late last night, as the rest of

the city was preparing to go to sleep, the l.e.d.-lid, 60-foot long junkyard dragon equipped with its own deejay booth on the back rolled through the city of detroit, pulled up to the front lawn of the detroit institute of the arts and as only a fire-breathing dragon can do, it left a simple message for detroit's emergency manager about how the city feels about its art museum. watch this. ♪ >> "save the art." if you're going to try to send a message to the powers that be in your city, that is one way to do it. set your fabric-wrapped, metal sign on fire with the flames you shoot 20 feet out of your dragon nostrils. the artists who created that performance stunt made their escape shortly after setting their protest sign alight. the sign was then extinguished by dragon artist supporters and also by the fire department.

however you have been making your political case, trying to convey your political feelings, you need to know that out there somewhere, there are dudes in detroit who are getting their political point across with fire-breathing l.e.d. 60-foot dragons that breathe fire and that have a deejay booth on the back. the bar has officially been raised, america. step it up. >> good. detroit belongs in the best news -- i mean, detroit made it, good. >> but the thing about that is that they're trying to save the art from the detroit art institute, and christie's just did their appraisal. they're going to get about, something like $500 million for it, and it -- >> yeah what they appraised, they could get like $500 to $800 million and they're thinking, oh, that would put a big dent in our debts. that would also eliminate detroit's public art collection forever. >> so, this is the best new thing but also a tbd. >> yes, a best new fight of the day and the fight is still under way. >> i think they're going to need a bigger dragon. stick with innovation.

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>> are you there? >> yeah, i'm there. >> let me ask you, are there any best new things you remember that are very good? just from top of your head, from watching? >> i like them all equally. >> wah-wah. i sense you've overpacked... your stomach. try pepto to-go. it's pepto-bismol that fits in your pocket. relief can be yours, but your peanuts are mine! ♪

all right, who else has a best new thing in the world? >> i have one. >> okay. >> and i kind of feel like there's no competition, because this one's so awesome. i have to say. i am serious. >> you have the best news -- >> i think i have the best best

new thing in the world and i can only describe it with two words, which are thing fogomadinga. >> this was the sickle best piece of tape we played all year long. >> yes. >> there was -- at least the best political -- it's not even political. >> no, just amazing. >> this was the best -- yes, this is it. best new thing in the world today. this is republican congressman cary bentivolio of michigan. yesterday it was his job to preside over the house temporarily, had to take his turn as speaker pro tem. >> the speakers are in washington, d.c., june 17th, 2013. i hereby appoint the honorable cary bentivolio to act as speaker pro temporary on this day, signed john a. boehner, speaker of the house. >> okay, so at this point, cary bentivolio is in charge of the house, this freshman guy, right? scary, but not a terribly big deal. you basically just keep the lights on. if one of your colleagues wants to speak, you have to recognize them.

talk into the microphone, say their names and say where they are from. but that is where things went a little hay wire. watch this. >> the chair recognizes the gentleman from american samolia. >> i'm sorry, who? the gentleman from what now? >> the chair recognizes the gentleman from american samolia. >> american samolia. if you google "american samolia," you can get a little help as to what he was maybe thinking if you just type in to google -- do you ever do this? american s-a-m- -- oh, then the dropdown menu helps. he means american samoa! thank you, google dropdown menu. american samoa. it's not that obscure. i mean, there's a girl scout cookie called samoa, right? lots of people who have never been to samoa have had lots of practice saying it, samoa, samoa.

so, he said american samolia, but he just meant american simaoa, but then things got a lot worse, because he had to say not just that the next person to speak was from samoa but that the next person to speak has a name. his name is eni fanaliavainga. he's been in congress representing american samoa since 1989, but now he needs to be introduced in congress, and it's cary bentivolio who's got to take it away! >> the chair recognizes the gentleman from american samolia, mr. -- falamobinga. >> did you say falimabinga? why not? it's actually mr. faleomavaega. how do you get from these

letters on the piece of paper in front of you to -- >> mr. -- >> falamobinga. >> maybe he thought american samoa is in spain somewhere where the "v" would be pronounced as i"b" for bina? tough day with the new president pro tem, right? but here's the most important part, if you're mr. faleomavaega, who will do you respond? you've been here 23 years, this guy's never heard of samoa before and he destroys your name, what do you do? you react with total class and win the whole day and everybody's respect. watch how he reacted. >> the chair recognizes the gentleman from american samolia, mr. fang -- falamobinga. thank you. >> thank you, mr. speaker. it's american samoa. >> the best-natured man in congress is the guy who ignored that he has just been called

falomabinga, who's willing to let that ride, but he stands up for his place, where he's from. get samoa right, huh? with poise, representative, you are the best mannered man in congress and that act of restraint for your part is the best new thing in the world. >> the guy's name is what is this. >> b eentivolio -- >> bentivolio can't say samoa. has he not been practicing anything? he just says i'm cary? >> the guy's name is hard to pronounce, but samoa is not hard to pronounce. samoliad. >> it's actually harder to say than samolia. >> on that note, though, you said it perfectly, and it's because of this thing, which i have kept on my desk the whole time. >> what is it? >> it is a pronouncer. you used that -- >> you say eni . and in case you want to refer it it in the text, eni falamaega.

and after we put him on the show, we were shouting him out. he had such class and restraint in the way he responded. he then went on to be the champion in congress of the washington redskins dropping their name as a racist insult in the nfl, and he's been leading the charge on that in a way that made it more of an issue for the country than it ever has been before. so, he's not only eni falamaega, but he's nice and effective. >> we should mail that card. >> good idea! that's an excellent idea. i have to go. we use this board to compare car insurance rates side by side, so you get the same coverage, often for less. [ rattling ] that's one smart board. what else does it do -- reverse gravity? [ chuckles ] split atoms? [ whoooosh! ] hey, how is that atom-splitting thing going? [ rattling ] [ electronic whistling ] oh! [ zap! ] a smarter way to shop around.

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what else? best new thing in the world. who's got a favorite? >> as a former band geek, rachel, and i know there are a lot of us here. i see you, yes. i definitely see you. >> there's no former. >> we should continue with the rachel maddow show staff band, and we're all be sorry. >> my favorite best new thing in the world was when we had to go out and rent a trombone -- >> oh, that's right. >> -- to use on the set because there was this video posted by a trombonist, and what he did with his trombone was like the best new thing in the world. >> didn't i have to play the trombone? did i? >> i think you attempted it, and beautifully. >> yes. >> you had good -- >> wouldn't you like to be a senior producer? >> okay, this might not work. best new thing in the world. you know how there are all kinds of extreme sports videos all

over the internet these days? videos shot from the point of view of the athlete? they've got the camera on them so you can feel like it's you hurdling down the ski slope or catching a wave or whatever. the reason there are lots of videos out there like this now is because the cameras that you do this with have gotten small and cheap, like the gopro, a fairly cheap camera that you can stick on a helmet or skateboard while you do something involving velocity. and once people figured out that they could do go fast stuff like that with a gopro on them as they did it, it wasn't long before people started using these cameras to do things other than just go fast, like, for example, somebody came up with the idea to attach one of these cameras to a hula hoop, which at least alters your perspective on things and quite possibly makes you barf just looking at it. but now, one excellent american, one american musician may have discovered the single most awesome use yet of a gopro camera. this is a trombone, obviously, which is an inherently funny

instrument. see? and this is a -- can you see that? a gopro camera that we have attached to the slide. remember the hula hoop thing? well, imagine the perspective from the gopro of somebody playing the trombone, okay? this is genius. watch. ♪ ♪ >> that is a professional musician david finleyson. he is the second trombonist with the new york philharmonic. the song, incidentally, is an etude by marco berdoni. he tells us he shot the video a year ago just on a whim and put it on his personal website. this week, a friend shared the

link and the world hive mined has collectively decided this must be seen. seriously, there is probably a masters thesis in why this works. something to do with the sudden altering of perspective or the slide moves, maybe just the vain p vain popping on his forehead. the spit-eye view of the trombone being played is for obvious reasons the best new thing in the world today. i take prilosec otc each morning for my frequent heartburn. because you can't beat zero heartburn. woo hoo! [ male announcer ] prilosec otc is the number one doctor recommended frequent heartburn medicine for 8 straight years.

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would you like apple or cherry? cherry. oil...or cream? definitely cream. [ male announcer ] never made with hydrogenated oil. oh, yeah. [ male announcer ] always made with real cream. the sound of reddi wip is the sound of joy. okay, so, out of all the best new things in the world, at least as portrayed on "the rachel maddow show," we do have to sort of -- i feel like we have to show, like, the breadth of what we've done, right? because best new things in the world tend to be a wide-ranging feature, right? so, do we have -- i can't remember if we had any that were international and that were particularly good. did we have any good international ones? >> i have one. >> what is that? >> remember over the summertime there were those huge antigovernment protests in turkey. >> yeah. >> and the media just was not covering it. they were running films about

penguins and -- >> oh, the state media, like nothing to see here! >> totally, penguins. and so, like, there was this turkish game show host, and he basically figured out a way to bring up the government crackdown 70 times in a show, and it was like totally awesome. like, i don't speak turkish, but i could totally understand it. >> that's right. like, he devised it as part of the game and it blew everybody's mind -- >> yes, theyhe'd ask questions the answers would be like words against the government. >> it was awesome even in turkish. that's right. in turkey, there is a tv game show that's called "the word game." and it's kind of like "wheel of fortune," maybe closer to "password." did you ever see "password"? that was on for a zillion years about a zillion years ago. i am an old person. anyway, in this turkish version of "password," this show that's called "word game," the host gives the contestants a clue, and then based on the clue, they have to guess what the secret word is. on monday night, the host of the

"word game" in turkey decided to use the game show to subvert the censorship in his country. he made the whole game, the whole game show about the thing that nobody is allowed to talk about on tv. for example, one clue to the contestants was "democracy breather." democracy breather? i am stumped, but the contestant was not stumped. [ speaking foreign language ] >> gazmaskesi! gas mask. democracy breather, as the government has been tear-gassing protesters, right? how about this one? a person that concentrates all political power. that's the clue. hmm. >> dictator. >> diktator. >> dictator! dictator. the next clue was the social network site that has been described as a curse. answer?

>> twitter? >> twitter. >> twitter! don't beat yourself up if you missed that in america. twitter is just twitter. in turkey, on the morning of that episode of the "word game," the turkish prime minister had called twitter a menace to society. in a single, one-hour episode of the "word game," the host brought up the antigovernment protest that nobody's allowed to mention 70 different times. among these 70 secret words he put into the game were police and violence and silence and resistance and censorship. core according to "the new york times" lead blog which picked up on some of the frantranslated c hero game show host, the last two clues were pretty much direct messages to the government. the second to last was to voluntarily give up a position. the answer was resign. and the last clue was, the act that makes a person bigger by asking to be forgiven for wrong actions. the answer, of course, to that was apologize. the host has not been back on tv

for a live show since doing this on monday night, so we do not know what his act of bravery will cost him. whether or not the host, ali isan verol ever knew that bravery would be part of what would be needed from him as game show host, he's shown he has what it takes. best new thing in the world. that was serious -- it was great and serious, though. do know what happened to him? >> yeah, we do have an update. thanks to twitter, he is back in the hosting chair. >> really? >> yeah. >> wow. >> yeah. >> that's cool. >> in america, he'd have gone to hollywood and pitched subversive password. >> or he would have gone into rehab. >> well, those two are not mutually exclusive. this is america. >> all right, what else? what else? >> i think i've got a contender. >> okay. >> i think i've got a real contender, and it involves a 5-year-old boy named miles scott. >> oh. >> oh. >> who you may know as miles scott, but the city of san

francisco knows as bat kid. >> the cool thing about this one is that it was a cool thing about this kid it was a cool thing about the city of san francisco, and then when it happened, it became a national cause. like, america came together around one thing, we can't stand each other on everything from, like, fried chicken preferences to politics and everything in between, but like, when it comes to bat kid, we're all on the same page. this is miles. he's 5. he's been battling leukemia for more than half his life. his leukemia is currently in remission, which is a good thing. when the make-a-wish people asked him what his wish was, he said he wanted to be a superhero, batman! or maybe batkid. but i probably do not have to tell you any of this, because if you own a computer machine or any sort of device that hooks you up to social media, this is what it looked like this afternoon if you set your tweet deck for #sfbatkid. don't stare at it, you will go blind. all the interest in today's event actually overwhelmed the make-a-wish website.

look what they had to post. we're sorry, we are currently experiencing technical difficulties due to the batkid wish. and that's the virtual world's response. in the wetwear world, thousands, literally thousands of people brought their actual, physical bodies to the streets of san francisco today, transforming san francisco for a few hours today into gotham city. and miles, costumed as batkid, as the caped crusader's mini me, well, he knew he was going to spend the day in character, but he did not know how elaborate it would get. his experience started with a breaking news bulletin and a televised appeal from san francisco's actual police chief. >> gotham city needs you, batman. this is police chief greg sur, only hoping you can hear my voice. it's critical that you call me right now. we have a damsel in distress, but that's just the beginning, batman, just the tip of the iceberg. you have to call me. it's urgent.

please, caped crusader, we need y you, and bring the batkid. >> and he wasn't kidding. miles, in costume, got to ride in a batmobile, he helped rescue a woman tied to a bomb on the cable car tracks, he foiled a bank robbery, resulting in the raeftst riddler, oh, yeah, but his work was still not done. while miles was eating lunch, crowds of volunteers called on him to rescue the san francisco giants' mascot, lou seal, who had been kidnapped by the penguin. miles heard the call, freed the seal, and yes, yes, helped nab the penguin, resulting in the most awesome fake indictment for both super villains published from the u.s. district court gotham division. then for his superheroism, miles was awarded the key to the city. he also got congratulations from the white house. president obama even vimed him his presidential thanks. >> way to go, miles. way to save gotham. way to go, miles.

way to save gotham. way to go, miles. way to save gotham. >> basically, the entire city of san francisco went nuts today, and so did everybody who could not be there in person but cheered it all on online. and here's why this is the best new thing in the world today, aside from the first and most obvious reason, which is that a kid who has had to fight for his life is getting something he really wanted. another reason this is great is that the truth is, when people are faced with awful things, with the specter of awful things, including sickness and death, even in children, the seeming inevitability of darkness and destruction, you know what people want to do? they want to help. and when there's not just a desire to help, but there is a specific thing that you really can do and it really might help, people do it! people help. they go out on the streets and they do what they can. and that impulse, that humane impulse basically engulfed a major u.s. city this afternoon, and that is the best new thing in the world today. oh, my god, is it. and that's a tv host trying

really hard not to cry while telling a story. that's the thing, yeah, i cry at sad stories the way everybody does. i cry at the national anthem like everybody does. i also -- stories about people being good? oh, god. >> and since that happened, there has since been a development, which is that a mystery donor somewhere in the city of san francisco has put up a billboard by the bay bridge that says "thanks for saving the city, batkid." >> oh. in the nation, sometimes bad things happen. but add brand new belongings from nationwide insurance and we won't just give you the partial value of items that are stolen or destroyed... ...we'll replace them with brand-new versions. so you won't feel robbed. again. just another way we put members first. because we don't have shareholders. join the nation. ♪ nationwide is on your side ♪

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all right, best new thing in the world. who else has a nomination? kent. >> all right, these are cute, these are funny. we did a story from russia that's going to have geopolitical ramifications for the next decade, two decades. >> russia? >> russia. >> i don't remember a russia. >> there's a dog that looks like vladimir putin. >> oh, god. >> okay? >> oh, yeah. >> we're just forgetting that? we're not doing that? dog looks like vladimir putin, okay? roll it. >> and you think you've got the story. roll it! i am tempted to say that the best new thing in the world today is this moment of inxlikability that happened on cnn just a little while ago this evening. >> do you get a freelancer writ?

>> i'm hoping that i get a chance to go over to russia and do a face-to-face interview with prov dog. i would look forward to that opportunity, and maybe while i'm there get a chance to chat with vladimir about, you know, maybe take my shirt off and we can do some things together, huh? >> you could arm wrestle or something. senator mccain, i appreciate you being on. thank you. >> that's the loudest ah in the world. it is tempting to call that the best new thing in the world today, if only for mr. cooper on cnn keeping his composure as john mccain tells him he wants to take off his shirt with vladimir putin and do some things together. mr. cooper holding it together for that is an excellent, excellent thick, but this is better. behold the best new thing in the world today. aww, why the long face? this dog was reported lay a stray found on the streets of kiev in the former soviet republic of ukraine. we know this because the dog's picture was posted by a ukrainian newspaper this week under a tag called "oddities."

if you can't read this, trust me, but as to why this picture is considered an oddity, does he look at all familiar? thank you, google translate. yes, ankaresh found a dog like putin. and it's true, he is a dead ringer for russian president vladimir putin. it's amazing, it's amazing. even when you lay the pictures on top of each other, it's uncanny, like putin's face is coming out of the dog. the internet, of course, exploded over this today. it was basically my whole morning. all kinds of speculation about what exactly is so putinesque about this dog. is it the eyes with the same expression, gaze upon me, for i am a bad ass? is it the bridge of the nose, remarkably similar in shape? i think on their own, neither of those things would be enough. i think one of the main reasons the dog is so putinesque is because the dog is shirtless.

in a magnificent arcaress my sk while i ride horseback in a mccain kind of way. putin having a stray dog doppelganger, obviously the best new thing in the world today, yes [ indistinct conversations ]

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and bacteria proliferate. ♪ protect your mouth, with fixodent. the adhesive helps create a food seal defense for a clean mouth and kills bacteria for fresh breath. ♪ fixodent, and forget it. all right, well, i feel like, you know, it makes me feel good looking back at the year, at all of the best new things we did and the ones you liked in particular because it makes me feel like, oh, there was more good news than i remembered, but i've got to say, i'm surprised that nobody brought up the actual best best new thing in the world. okay, and it was a long time ago, sort of towards the beginning of the year, so maybe you guys don't remember, but it was clearly the best one. it was around valentine's day, and on the occasion of valentine's day, one of the presidential libraries decided to release some of the handwritten love letters from one of our previous presidents

to his adoring wife who became the first lady. it was very sweet. but like all great best new things, the thing that seems like it's the best on the surface is actually kind of beside the point, and the actual best new thing in the world is the single greatest recording ever made of an american president saying anything ever, and it's lbj and i fell apart on television. i could not keep it together and almost could not toss to "the lawrence o'donnell show" at the end of it. this is the best one. this is the best one. best new thing in the world. okay, tomorrow is valentine's day. if you are in a relationship, do not forget. do something nice. if you are not in a relationship, i hope that valentine's day does not bum you out and that you have a really good day, however you want it to go. but on the occasion of valentine's day this year, one of america's presidential libraries is going to make that president's love letters to the woman who would become his first

lady available for public viewing. now, some of those letters have been made public before. a few of them, in fact, were even performed out loud back in the speech this minute. plans, ideas, hopes, i'm bubbling over where them. >> lyn don, please tell me as soon as you can what the deal is. i'm afraid it's politics. oh, i know i haven't any business. not any proprietary interest, but i would hate for you to go into politics. >> isn't that awesome?

after they first met it took the passage of 2.5 months and nearly 100 letters between them. it's amazing, right? we don't tend to think of our presidents as young men in love. we tend to think of them as celebrities but not young men in love. we think of lbj as the kind of president who was deliberately crass as a strategic tactic. he famously made people converse with him while he sat on the toilet. his most famous presidential recording was of him making an incredible phone call from the white house to order some pants. you have heard that, haven't you? please tell me you have heard this recording. >> i want a couple of maybe three of the light brown, kind of an almost powder color, like

powder on a ladies' face. then there were some green and maybe some other light pair, if you had a blue in that or black. one blue and one black. i need about six pairs to wear around in the evening when i come home from work. and i need about half an inch too tight in the waist. >> do you recall the exact size? >> i don't know. y'all just guessed at them. wouldn't you have the measurement there? now the pockets when you sit down in the chair your knife and money comes out so i need at least another inch in the pockets. >> all right. >> another thing, the crotch, now where your nuts hang, it's always a little too tight. give them an inch i can let out there because they cut me. it's just like riding a wire fence. these are the best i have had

anywhere in the united states, but when i gain a little weight, they cut me under there, believe me, you never do have much margin there, see if you can have another inch from where the zipper ends around under the back of my bung hole so i can let it out if i need to. >> i have never ever seen it laid out with the pictures of him. and to the subtitler who had to actually add in there parentheses burps. ordering pants in all of its glory. happy valentine's day eve,

america. this is how you know that i love you. oh my god. >> he's not just trying to be crass. he's just calling the pants guy. from the white house with the tape rolling for all of america to hear. >> nuts and bung holes. got nuts? >> yeah. >> and bung holes. >> nuts and bung holes, nuts and bung holes. >> you would think that those two words would make a return to the american language. he says nuts and nobody says bung hole. >> i didn't know we could say those things on tv. >> we can't. but he's the president of the united states. down by his nuts, blah, and my bung hole. >> here is lbj riding the wire

fence. [ applause ] >> happy new years. >> happy new year.

>> welcome to the last word holiday party where we will choose our person of the year and a whole lot more. >> i do solemnly swear. >> my question is who's going to jail. >> yes i have smoked crack cocaine. >> things are on track to go nuclear in the senator. >> the nuclear option. >> this is about obstruction. >> so much obstruction in the united states senate. >> who cares? >> senator ted cruise all for nothing talk-a-thon. >> ashton kutcher. >> green eggs and ham. >> i am