welcome to thailand. >> the plan was simple. i was going to be wearing a special suit to conceal the drugs that i was carrying. easy as anything. it was exciting. international travel, lots of money, and this is more like being james bond than it was about being a drug dealer. i'd do what i had to do and i'd come home and get my money, and that is it.

unfortunately, that is not how it worked out. how am i ever going to survive this? ♪ >> in 1993, i was 26 years old. >> you are steven? >> you like the music, right? >> i had been selling cars since i was 16. real leather. more comfortable than your sofa. i used to be very good at

selling motor cars. and when you have closed a sale, you are on fire. >> have a look inside. can you see yourself in there? i loved doing that. i was earning good money, and i should have been a happy person. i had met a beautiful woman. her name was linda, and she was absolutely stunning. >> no guarantee. >> we had been going out for about three months, but i asked her to marry me. i was ready for a new start, and she wanted to open a cafe. >> you know the coffee oshop that you always wanted? let's do it. >> i love you. seriously. >> i have always been impatient, and always wanting to get ahead, and it was never my nature to be content with where i was at. i needed to get married an set my wife up in a cafe and have the capital to start something

for myself. so essentially at that point, i needed a very large cash injection. as it would happen, i did know somebody who was in an industry that could probably facilitate that cash injection. i had a mate, and we'll call him freddie. >> so what are you thinking, freddie? huh? >> no idea. not bad. >> i had sold him flamboyant r cars, high performance cars, and i had known him for a long time. and i had always admired the lifestyle that he had. the thing is, freddie was a drug dealer. but he was wasn't a bad guy. he was my friend. so i said to him, freddie, it is like this. >> i u neneed to add a lot of m,

fast, and you can help me with that, right? >> h look, marty, you have a good life and a good job, and you don't need this. >> if i had taken freddie's advice, my life would have been different. but i did not want to wait. i did not want to take the proper route. i did not want to abide by society's rules. i wanted to break them. i wanted to thumb my nose at society, and take what i wanted. >> i am going to do this whether or not i do it with you. >> so he said, okay. you want to try it that badly, i will give you a shot. >> would you fly to thailand and pick up heroin and carry it back on a plane from australia? >> you have no idea how little this meant to me. no one in my world took heroin. it meant nothing to me.

>> how much u does it mean? >> $200,000. >> for me, it was a no-brainer. i did not think about my family. i did not think about my fiancee. >> i'm in. the consequences never entered my head. >> welcome to thailand. >> i had traveled a little bit, but nothing like this, nothing like thailand. and then i realized that this is a very different place. >> hey, freddie. >> freddie did not want me

walking around a lot. i was instructed to watch television. for three days. it was a nice room, and it was boring. that is where i sat. the plan was simple. freddie was coming to put the drugs on me. we had discussed having one special suit that would be made a couple of sizes bigger so that it would better conceal the drugs that i was carrying. come back home, and then just go to the car park and put them in the boot of the car. simple as that. easy as anything. that is not how it worked out. [ door knock ] >> finally, a knock at the door, and there is freddie standing there. >> hey, freddie. >> yeah, okay. >> the guy that walked through

the door was all business. freddie just upends the bag on the bed. all sorts of packing material. freddie started to pull the blocks of heroin out of the bag. i thought, surely now, that is it. that is all there is. and he reached in and pulled out another three. it was even one more after that. 13 blocks. it just looked like so much. >> all right. >> freddie, you have to be joking. it is not going to fit. >> i will never forget this as long as i live. he looked me straight in the eye, whatever it does not fit, we will ram up your ass and so you have to damn well hope it fits. >> it is very disappointing to the look in the eyes of somebody who you thought that was a friend and you realize that you

are look into the eyes of a white pointed shark, utterly, t utterly cold. he went to work on me. placing blocks against me. and then the next block and the next block and the next block. and he was pulling on those bandages hard. it was incredibly uncomfortable. we got 12 blocks mount and strapped down. we kept the last block was cut in half and the other two blocks in the side of my crotch down near my genitals. i am standing there in my underwear strapped up with heroin, and i can't breathe. i couldn't even put my own pants on by myself. i said, what if i need to go to the toilet? he said, don't. and for the first time i am not feeling confident inside.

but once that suit went on, i was aston niished. i just looked like a fat guy. you can't see all of the drugs i'm carrying. the suit was well made. it did its job, and the heroin has disappeared. i could not feel any edges. and i thought for a moment, well, maybe i can do this. maybe i will make it. but as i was sitting in the back of the cab, i realized that the two half blocks were so tight that they were cutting off the circulation to my legs. the flight from bangkok to sidney is 7 1/2 hours, and i'm not ten minutes into the cab

ride and my legs are going to sleep. this is going to be a serious problem. by the time i got to the airport, i could not stand up. my legs hurt too much. i couldn't breathe. it is hot. and the edges of the block are starting to cut into my skin. none of this was doing anything to help my confidence at this point. as i lifted thing bag to put it on to the scale, i felt something tear. not in the wrapping pap er, but inside of me like i had torn a muscle or something, and the pain. i thought that i was going the pass out. but i am not allowed to react, not now, not here. i was a mess.

i was so late at this point that pretty much everybody else was in the waiting area to board the plane. i am heading towards the gate, and sit at this gate where they have the metal detector, and this is the last test. the guards didn't have anything else to focus on, so they watched me walk all of the way down. i had to walk with a perfect gait. there was not allowed to be a limp or any change. i am thinking, there is nothing to see. i can do this. it is nothing to see. so i got there and i started to take my watch off. take my keys out of my pocket, and i dropped them into the little basket. i knew that this was it. this is the point of no return. and just as i started to walk

through the metal detector -- the guard takes tout handheld metal detector and he moves it up the front of my jacket. and he moves it up the back of my jacket. i realized, i had left my glasses on. i forgot my glasses. at the time, at a 56-year-old, i didn't need glasses. they were a fashion accessory to make me look more serious. no problem, no more beeps, and no more alarms. i had made it. i was through.

and then i make the mistake. i turn to the guard, and i smiled at him. i didn't know then that thai people are very tactile and if you smile at them, they reach out to touch you. and the guard reached up, and he said, you go to your plane. i did not feel him touch me, because he wasn't. he was touching a block of heroin. that was it. life was over. who's with me? we're like a basketball team here at ally. if a basketball team had over 7... i'm in. 7,000 players. our plays are a little unorthodox. but to beat the big boys, you need smarter ways to save people money. we know what you want from a financial company and we'll stop at... nothing to make sure you get it. one, two... and we mean nothing.

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they started to undo my

shirt. because only then they realized how much heroin i was actual ly kcar riing. now, they were all excited. they started pulling the blocks out as quickly as they could just to see how big the prize was. the total came to 4.7 kilograms, and i knew that there was no getting out of this. and then they all left the room. so suddenly, i find myself in the room with all of the hair wip on the scales in front of me. i knew that there was no getting out of this. i knew that my life was over.

it was not going to be a wedding. there wasn'ting go to be any money. there wasn'ting going to be any success. there wasn't going to be anything anymore. it was all gone. right then. right there. i knew exactly what i had to do. sw swallow it. i didn't even have any water. and now, i am starting to nod and fall asleep. i know i am not going to wake up. and that is okay. it does not matter. i decided to die.

>> hey, you sleeping? >> the guards decide it is time to take me to the police station. >> comen, up! the van pulls to a halt. one of the police opens the door to the minivan, and at that exact instant, i vomit. all over him. vomiting out heroin. white bubbles, and then the guy i just vomited on comes up behind me, and i am waiting for

the beating. and he pats me on the back. to comfort me. and he says, don't worry, you will be okay. and that was it. i broke. i broke like a little girl. he broke me by being kind to me. i am sitting in the back of the bus with this gun pointed at me.

after about half an hour, we pulled up outside of a big metal door. i did not have a clue where we were. >> come. move. there he was this sound, the sound of chains clanging. you can see that people with the huge leg chains. i remember thinking, what kind of criminal gets chained like this. i was about to find out. having this piece of metal

chaped around your ankle is so soul destroying. in australia, you would not be allowed to chain an animal like that. i said, how long do i have to wear these? two years he said. twoer year i thought that he was joking. he wasn't. and then it started, the noise. there was screaming. yelling, screaming, shouting. now i'm scared. that is a lot of people. and there were a lot of people.

and then the guard pushed me in a room and slammed the door. and a shiver went up my spine. and i really felt locked in for the first time. i felt claustrophobic. and the only space in the room was the space between everybody's feet. the floor was covered in so many years of grease and human sweat that it felt like it was covered in rubber. i never seen a place so filthy. the stench was unbelievable. surrounded by all of these people. all of these strangers. how was i going to live? after i had been in prison for

about three months, they took me to court for sentencing. the judge was talking and talking. everything was in thai. so i was getting very frustrated. i wanted to know what was happening to my life. and then the judge says -- >> 40 years. >> 40 years in prison. it was just so huge. i couldn't understand it. i could not comprehend it. to do 40 years to get out as a 66-year-old man, how could i do that? how could anybody do that? that cause all your symptoms, including nasal congestion and itchy, watery eyes. flonase is an allergy nasal spray that works even beyond the nose.

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the worst of the worst. i had just arrived, but you could tell that there was an organization at play. and everything had to go through the guards. even the drinking water. >> i am thirsty, can i have some water. >> money. money. >> and the only thing that i had was a pair of shoes. so now i had enough money for a little while. each guy controlled his business interests, and you had to play by their rules. you had to walk the line. the guards had several swift y ways of dishing out the justice. one day, more guards than normal came upstairs. they called for one of the prisoners to come out.

this prisoner had allegedly brought in drugs. he has got his hands together and he is pleading with them. they just started to kick him in the face. the guards were sending a message. this is what will happy to you if you don't comply. if you want to do anything in this prison, you will come through us. it was a sharp education. they were as bad as any of the prisoners in there, or worse. my whole tactic was to try to find a way to fit in. i didn't speak any thai at the time. i had no language skills

whatsoever. i played a little bit of guitar. and music crosses boundaries where language is ineffective. ♪ if i told you that i was fine ♪ ♪ you know that i'd be lying >> what i really wanted to do was to hear the voice of my fiancee, linda. so i found a way to buy a tape reco recorder. how do you say to somebody, you know, that life that you thought that you were going to have? well, you are not going to be having it with me. i would write songs. i had been sending them for a while, and i had not received one back, but then one day the guard walked in and he said -- >> hey, you. come, come. this is not allow. just once.

i started to listen. >> hi, marty. i hope that you get this. thanks for the tapes. i love your song. i hope that you are taking care of yourself and staying positive. i can't even imagine what it is like in there. >> i remember crying just listening to the sound of my fiancee's voice. >> i started working. i spoke to your mom. she sends her love. >> i knew she would not wait. she was too young. too beautiful, too much time. >> it is boring here. >> and she said that she had met someone and they were going to make a life of it. >> i know that you will be all right. bye for now.

the one absolute overriding thing was the boredom. you had nothing to do. i'd just sit in a deck chair and i thought, that is it, this is the way my life is going to peter out. and then one day, i am sitting in the yard, and a guard came over and -- >> you. get up. come. >> where am i going? >> no more questions. >> nothing prepared for what happened next in the prison.

hi. i'm richard lui with your top stores. msnbc news has just confirmed that jared kushner is in iraq.

he is the husband to ivanka trump and has been given many tasks including looking into the situation in the middle east. supreme court nominee neil gorsuch is about to take the next step in the nomination process. and the the white house says that he will be confirmed this week. now, back to "lockup." i was taken across the way. instantly, the place felt different. it was quiet. it was quite surreal. and then i walked into a flower garden. there was a long dining table, and bunch of prisoners from various nationalities all nicely dressed, watches, jewelry. and they are eating steak and chips that are being served by a

servant. it was ridiculous. >> take a seat. >> you must be wondering why you are here. >> i said, that is putting it mildly. as it turned out, they had heard a song i had written for my fiance, and they said -- >> we'd like to hear it. ♪ if i told you i was fine ♪ you'd know that i'd be a lying ♪ they said, that is very good.

the guy at the head of the table said -- >> i think that you probably know what we do in here. >> there is only one way they could afford all of that. they had to be dealing drugs. and then they inquired a as to whether or not i had any contacts in the drug world in australia, and i had not heard from freddie, and i had no idea to contact him, and so i would not have been of any value to their business. >> no, sorry. >> i see. >> but i said, well, you are here anyway and we will find a way for you have to be valuable. i don't know what they liked about me. i guess i was a novelty. nothing more than that. and i knew that i would tap into the new group. i would find a way. i'd find a way to be valuable. and it was just another sales job now. sure enough, this group would

sell drugs to other foreigners in the thai prison and the guards would let them run, because they were pulling in lots of money, and suddenly, i'm in a cell with satellite television a shower and six people there. it was the ultimate luxury. and if that meant that these people around me were going to be selling heroin, so beit. did it bug me? not in the slightest. none of us were here for being choir boys. it wasn't a risky endeavor, because the people who were enforcing the rules were involved. and that worked really well. for years. some people had moved along, and

suddenly, i became the guy. >> marty. >> business was booming, and all i did was to sit back and coordinate. i didn't actually have to get my hands dirty, i just had to tell people what they were going to do, and they did. >> hey, it is me. >> and so we pretty much ran the joint. we decided to do a little rebuilding. and we did our own little development, and we put up a new row of what we called the condominiums, and we had a nice tiles on the floor. and hot and cold running shower. >> here he is. >> and we had every console that we could get. the best chocolate. cream, whatever you wanted. we had a great time considering that we could not get out of prison. i began to see that i could live this way for a fairly long time. >> thank you very much. i have a lilt something for you. i always looked after the guards. >> it is friday and you work

hard and because of that, a little something to say thanks as well. >> but the problem was that you could never look every guard. all of the sudden, out of the blue one day, everything comes crashing down. i did not understand what was go going on. i simply got too high profile. he said -- >> you are going to clonpai. >> my heart went cold, because it is a prison up in the mountains. and this is where they sent the

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does not improve or gets worse. ask your doctor if 24-hour breo could be a missing piece for you. learn more about better breathing at mybreo.com. it wasn't just the mat per of having the shackles back on o, but it was having everything taken away. i had spent ten years to organize and build up stuff to have contacts and i had to go back to absolute zero again. it was terrible.

in this place in the mountains, anything can happen. at arrival, the guards were giggling. they were thrilled with what was about to happen. i noticed some prisoners with the tattooed faces. i said, who is that? they said the samurais. a junkie. a junkie who is hiv positive and he is never going to live to get out of prison. so he makes his living in prison by doing whatever is necessary.

whether that's killing someone or whatever he needs to do. i knew that i would have to defend myself every single day in this place. i knew that i would never be able to relax, not ever. so it did not take long. i'm squatting in the toilet, and there is no door or anything. it is very disconcerting, but you get used to it eventually, and then all tof the sudden, th guy next to me -- someone was smashing his head in with a piece of 4x2 wood. there is a slow a-- death is a

ugly thing. death does not come quickly. i heard them yell, it the wrong guy. not this one and it was then that i realized that they had hit the wrong stall. they were supposed to get me. it was pretty close. i was in chains. i could not make anything work in this prison. any day they could have got me. so you had to always be ready. you had to have that siege mentality all of the time. having to be on edge 24/7, u i

started to slip mentally. this was horrible. it was getting worse. there was no solution. i started to slip into insanity. the situation was genuinely insane. i was just getting crazier and crazier. i had had enough. i began to see for the first time that the root cause of every problem in my life, and every problem that i had ever had essentially was kacaused by

me. i came to these realization that this was the zen n the zenith o. to die here in this tight prison cell, what a magnificent achievement. way to go. bravo. well-done, mate. that's how pathetic i've become. i decided to stop eating. the guys didn't think i was serious when i started it. i was deadly serious. i'd made a decision, and i knew i could see this through.

after a week i stopped being hungry. after about three weeks i was now losing a kilogram a day. i was now really starting to fade. they told me you're dying. i said, yes, i know that. i'd made a decision that i was going to die.

the muslims would pray

outside my cell every day. i'd hear the call to prayer. it was a beautiful sound. a peaceful, calming sound. it always made me feel calm. i knew that i could see this through. and then one day i look outside my cell and there's a little pakistani man sitting right outside the front door. and i said hello, what's your name? he said, "how are you?" the next day he was there again. and this time he had brought me some coconut juice. i said, no. thank you, no. i'm going to die.

he said cannot. i said, what? who are you to tell me cannot. he said not me, allah. >> cannot. >> i got very angry. i sent him away. the next day he was back again. and then he opened the quaran and showed me a passage that said thou shall not kill yourself. you don't have the right. he would talk to me more and more and suddenly i started listening to him. and habib was always there every day. he would keep saying it over and over again. >> you don't have the right to do this. >> the morning of the 31st day of the hunger strike i woke up and i couldn't see.

my eyes didn't work anymore. i knew my eyes were open and i could not see. and i realized this was my last day. i was frightened. i was very frightened. so i had a choice. i had to decide to die or to live. and as i was making this decision i kept hearing habib's voice, you don't have the right to do this. and he was absolutely correct. i realized that i had to totally change the way that i lived if i was going to live. so i decided to end the hunger

strike and to become a muslim. five times a day i have to stop, i have to clean, i have to get dressed, and i have to pray in a different language, arabic. for the first time in my life i started to achieve a little stability. starting a structure changed everything. suddenly i began to see that these walls weren't necessarily there just to keep me in. perhaps they were there to keep the world out so i could get my they thinking right. perhaps this was an opportunity to start thing about things that i never entertained before.

i did 21 years, 363 days. i missed 22 years by two days. i don't think in any way, shape, or form that i've been had done by. because you know what, ten years wouldn't have been enough. 12 years wouldn't have been enough. i needed all of it. now there's a chance i can have a life, a happy life, a productive life, may even be able to do some good. that remains to be seen. but one thing is an absolute

certainty. i'll never be a criminal again. due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. >> america's prisons. dangerous. often deadly. there are 2 million people doing time. every day is a battle to survive and to maintain order. >> down on your feet, down! >> among the nation as most notorious institutions, san quentin state prison. our cameras spent months documenting life on the inside. where gangs, drugs, and sheer boredom make up a violent mix. this is "lockup san quentin: extended stay."