you're wasting all this money for these marketing campaigns and doing all this stuff. we don't even like that anymore. >> before you know it, it's gone. that is forever will be the story of cool. this is an msnbc special series. white lives matter. white lives matter. >> hate is on the rise in america. >> bans on white. >> it's emboldened. >> the war on whites is real. >> normalized. >> the government is nothing compared to the jewish menace. >> and destroying lives. >> this is why -- >> there are people who will say once a nazi always a nazi, and that you can't change who you are. >> but i know change is possible.

from the age of 14 to 22, i helped build america's first neo nazi skinhead organization. i believed diversity was a code word for white genocide, that jews controlled the media, immigrants were raping our women and i was going to save the world. recruiting vulnerable kids and transforming them into violent extremists like me. but now instead of pulling people into hate, i'm guiding them out. >> that's a pretty scary thing. i know how easy it is to get sucked into this movement. >> i hated people messing with me. before i was just gabe. now i'm gabe the skinhead and everybody respects me and fears me. >> it happened to me and i'm not willing to let it happen to anyone else.

>> first thing i'd like to say about the american flag is i don't support the american flag because two of the stars stand for nonwhite states, alaska and hawaii. i do not salute that flag and i stand for my own flag, which is the banner of the white race. >> with me today, chris picalini, 19 years old, director of the chapter of the northern hammers skinheads. >> i believe we're fighting for a great cause, and that's the white race. >> it's painful to admit but that was me 22 years ago. today, i see things very differently. >> joining us now, the co-founder of life after hate. >> hello, this is christian. tell me what's going on, man. >> for more than a decade, i've made it my mission to help people disengage from hate groups before they destroy their lives or the lives of others. >> has he ever talked about being violent? has he ever talked about using weapons? >> there is a resistance to work with somebody who was a violent white supremacist.

but i've helped over 100 people disengage. >> but he's preparing for the race war. >> and there are so many more people who need help. i get calls and e-mails from parents all the time saying that they're worried about their son or their daughter. that they might be violent. >> i used to keep up with my photo albums really well. >> and that's -- >> yeah. >> -- gabe. >> yeah. >> okay. >> laurie brown contacted me a year ago, terrified she was losing her 21-year-old son gabe to the same skinhead crew that i helped lead, the hammer skins. >> when gabe got those tattoos, i just thought his life was over. nothing good is ever going to come out of this. >> i remember when you called me. >> yeah. >> and you were devastated by it.

it's your baby. >> yep. yep. my beautiful little baby boy. >> what do you think it was that led gabe to go down and search for that kind of acceptance? >> i was having problems with drugs and alcohol. emotionally i wasn't there. i was there physically but not emotionally. i had gotten into an abusive relationship. i was supposed to stop seeing this guy and i didn't so that's how i initially lost custody. >> it took gabe a long time after his mom contacted me before he would even talk to me. but he finally reached out.

gabe had told me he attended monthly white power rallies, provoked violent confrontations and once dragged his mother's black boyfriend out of her car and beat him up in a parking lot. gabe and i have been working together for eight months now and he's making progress but i'm still worried about him and need to check in. >> hey. >> what's up, man? >> what's up, man? how are you doing, little brother? >> good. >> good. good to see you. how's it going? >> good. >> tell me what's going on. what's new? i haven't talked to you in a couple of months. >> i got a girlfriend now. >> tell me. i want to know more. where did you guys meet? >> at work. she's from puerto rico. >> oh, nice. >> so that's different. >> that's a little different for you. >> yeah. just a little bit. >> i'm happy to hear it.

in the past, you never would have considered even being nice to someone who was from puerto rico. >> right. >> and here you are in love with this girl because you see her and not just her skin. >> i don't know that anybody grows up to aspire to be a hater. something happens in their life that turns them from a normal everyday young person into someone who wants to scorch the earth. >> the first time i ever heard anybody use the "n" word was my grandmother. i didn't think much of it. i went to a predominately black middle school. i was always getting messed with, you know, picked on. i looked at myself as garbage, really. that's how i saw myself. >> in my work, i call these potholes, the small traumas that shatter a person inside and drive them towards any community

that will accept them. >> i hated people messing with me. that, to me, was really like when i first started to feel that resentment. as i got older, i looked at it as i don't have to take this [ bleep ] anymore. you shave your head, you put on some boots and nobody's going to mess with you. before that i was just gabe, just nobody. now i'm gabe the skinhead, you know, everyone either respects me or fears me. >> according to the southern poverty law center, there are currently 78 racist skinhead groups in the united states. the hammer skin nation, my old crew, is the oldest and largest and have a reputation for being extremely brutal, a kind of white power special forces unit eager to engage in a race war. gabe was a hammer skin prospect for nearly two years, channelling his personal frustrations into the group's hateful agenda. >> i guess the difference between now and then is that i was trying to change the world to make myself happy in it instead of trying to change

myself so i could be happy in the world that i already have. >> i'm really happy for you, man. i'm proud of you. you've made a ton of progress, but i've got to be honest, too, i'm also concerned. >> since we started working together, gabe has severed ties with the hammer skins but i found out just a few months ago he marched in the largest white power rally in more than a decade. >> you will not replace us. jews will not replace us. >> revving up them ovens, boys. >> on august 11th and 12th, 2017, 500 white supremacists descended on the small college town of charlottesville, virginia. >> white lives matter! white lives matter! >> calling themselves unite the right, they claimed they were protesting the city's decision to remove a confederate monument. >> anti-white. anti-white.

anti-white. >> more than 1,000 counterprotesters met them in the streets. >> hey! >> police lost control and the governor declared a state of emergency. >> it's 2017. how can you hate somebody that you don't even know? >> holy [ bleep ]! holy! >> a lot of people got hit. a lot of people got hit. >> at 1:40 p.m., a nazi sympathizer rammed his dodge challenger into a crowd of peaceful counterprotesters. >> this is why we did not want them here! >> when it was all over, 19 people were injured and a 32-year-old woman named heather heyer was dead.

>> what were you thinking? you were making this progress and all of a sudden you ended up going to this rally that was this tragic event. >> i still hadn't fully separated myself, i guess, from the ideology. there are still a lot of things that i struggle with as far as my mindset. i'm still in that nationalist mindset way of thinking. >> for most of his young life, gabe has had this identity as a neo nazi skinhead. it's hard to leave but he left. sometimes if things go bad it's easier to go back. the last thing i want him to do is go back.

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first of all, i'd like to talk to the lady in the middle.

i'm glad you got out of the klan because you're exactly the kind of trash we want to get out of your movement. second of all, i'm a skinhead. >> do you think -- >> in the the 1980s and '90s, i pushed white power propaganda wherever i could but i wasn't born a racist and i wasn't raised one. my earliest memories are of chicago surrounded by family that adored me. my parents were italian immigrants pursuing the american dream. while they worked 14-hour days, seven days a week, i was on my own, the weird foreign kid who spoke italian at home and english at school. i was lonely and bullied by the all-american kids who refused to welcome me. i felt abandoned. i felt worthless. i felt like an outsider and i was angry. i spent a lot of time walking these allies. one day at 14 years old when i was probably my angriest i was

standing here and smoking a joint. when a car came roaring down the alley and a man got out and he had a shaved head and boots and he walked over to me and he smacked me in the head and pulled the joint from my mouth, and then he looked me in the eyes and he said, that's what the communists and the jews want you to do to keep you docile. ♪ >> i think he saw in me somebody who wanted to belong, someone who was looking for a family and could be easily molded into something that he wanted. >> this is it. >> 14 years old i went from a normal kid to somebody who was plotting to hurt other people based on the color of their skin or who they loved or the god that they prayed to. ♪ before it gets too late >> white power! >> i became the front man for hate for two american white

power bands. today there is a much more powerful tool for recruitment, the internet. >> the war on whites is real. >> there are countless voices of hate that permeate the digital world. >> it is diversity that has divided white people. >> i do think we need to nuke africa and cut off the aid there. >> liberating women is the worst disaster ever. >> welcome to the radical agenda. it's a show about common sense extremism -- >> this is alt-right shock jock christopher cantwell, one of the most effective propagandists working today. >> here at the radical agenda, ladies and gentlemen, we used to think being called a racist was wrong, but then we learned that it's normal and the only reason you didn't hear about it is because the jews were censoring it. >> christian picciolini, he doesn't have anything to say.

he tells people, if you stop hating, your life will improve. that's not what this is [ bleep ] about. he was a gang member who didn't even [ bleep ] stay in his [ bleep ] gang, right? >> i don't think he's even white, okay? he looks like [ bleep ] sheik mohammad. >> i don't care if guys like cantwell insult me, but i am worried about the thousand office peops of people who are infected by this poison every day. people like gabe. >> i'm reich, i'm furor. one people, one nation, one leader. >> mmm-hmm. >> adolph. old uncle aid. >> i've been working with gabe for eight months and thought we were making progress but it's clear he's still holding on to some demons. >> what kind of looks did you

get when you wore that shirt out? >> not good ones. when i wore this shirt, it was mainly to provoke people. >> were you ever embarrassed to wear it? >> you start to question it more and more, you do start to feel a sense of embarrassment when it comes to the symbols. >> you know, that embarrassment is empathy. you were worried about how it would affect other people. it wasn't so much your embarrassment of wearing it but i think what you were feeling is how that might affect others as you were changing. you may not even recognize that. you know, i see a confederate flag hanging on your wall. a lot of people in charlottesville were marching with the confederate flags. it was, you know, pitched as this rally to save a confederate monument. do you think that's what it was about? >> i believe that's a big -- that's part of it, but they were trying to erase any symbol of white identity in america, white history, whatever. both sides think that they were right. both sides had points, valid

points that they were trying to make. >> but somebody died because of those actions. >> right. >> and because of that rally. and it doesn't matter to me whose side they're on, innocent people shouldn't die. >> this might come across the wrong way to certain people, but i think if we were separated, we wouldn't have these issues. throwing everyone together and blending them together and saying, hey, get along, obviously that's not working. the people who want to be living together in harmony and unity should be allowed to do that, but the people who don't should be allowed to do their own thing as well. >> what would you do if given that choice? >> hmm. i can't really say. that's something i would really have to think on, but if i had to make a split-second decision on it, i would have to go with the separatists. ♪ >> gabe can't imagine a world where different races co-exist

because he's never allowed himself to be a part of one. to help him escape his twisted world view, i know exactly where i have to go. and i know exactly who i need to speak with. oms, we send our kidt into the world, full of hope. and we don't want something like meningitis b getting in their way. meningococcal group b disease, or meningitis b, is real. bexsero is a vaccine to help prevent meningitis b in 10-25 year olds. even if meningitis b is uncommon, that's not a chance we're willing to take. meningitis b is different from the meningitis most teens were probably vaccinated against when younger. we're getting the word out against meningitis b. our teens are getting bexsero. bexsero should not be given if you had a severe allergic reaction after a previous dose. most common side effects are pain, redness or hardness at the injection site; muscle pain; fatigue; headache; nausea; and joint pain. bexsero may not protect all individuals. tell your healthcare professional if you're pregnant

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. what made me turn away from hate? it's the question i'm asked most often. the answer is complicated and didn't happen all at once. by 1994, i was 21 years old, married with two children and still a committed neo nazi skinhead. one night as i beat up a black teenager outside a mcdonald's, his eyes caught mine and it hit me, what the hell am i doing? but i couldn't let go. my wife and kids left me when it was clear i chose a violent movement over them.

hatred wasn't giving my life meaning anymore. it was destroying it. but before i hit rock bottom, i opened a records store to sell white power music. >> are you sick and tired of that alternative grunge crap? well, that's why i'm here, the supplier of the underground, chaos records. >> to make ends meet, i had to offer other music genres and that meant talking with customers who were black, jewish and gay. i began to realize i had more in common with these strangers than the skinheads i'd surrounded myself with and that changed the course of my life. what happened to me was a form of immersinemersino and it's a part to my work. i encourage people to have a conversation with the enemy, the people they think they hate. gabe is just like i used to be,

living in a white power echo chamber. the march at charlottesville convinced his history and identity was being erased. ♪ >> he had no idea those lies would lead to the death of an innocent 32-year-old woman named heather heyer. and that her death would touch a nerve, not just in charlottesville, but around the world. my own story of transformation has taught me that dialogue can lead to understanding and acceptance. the opposite of what the white supremacists are pushing. that's why i want to speak with

heather's mother, susan brow, who has agreed to open her door to a man with my hateful past. >> good morning. how are you? >> i've got a whacky ankle so i'm not wearing shoes today. >> i'm christian. >> i want a hug. >> i would love to give you a hug. nice to meet you. >> i can't even imagine what it's been like for the last couple of months for you. >> i just -- i just looked at the salt and pepper shakers in the house and said, i guess i don't have to worry about heather inheriting any of those now. come on in. these are baby pictures of heather and pictures of the family. >> this is heather here? >> that's heather. >> happy baby, huh? >> yeah. she's giggling with her brother. she was a pretty happy kid but also opinionated. always had to question everything once she got old enough. she had a strong sense of right

and wrong. she was always out talking to people. she was trying to make a difference. >> susan raised heather in a single-wide trailer in the hills just outside charlottesville. it was a hard scrabble life but it instilled in heather a passion for social justice. >> you will not replace us. you will not replace us. >> no nazis, no kkk, no fascist usa. >> heather never planned on counterprotesting until she saw cell phone video of the racist chants at the torch rally. >> i saw actual videos of heather that day talking to a young lady from the alt-right, asking her why are you here? what are you doing? and the girl kept saying, no comment. but i have to hope that somehow

the girl went home and thought, jeez, what the hell am i doing here? >> yeah. >> and maybe she'll remember that heather talked to her and have some soul searching then from that. >> oh, my god! >> how did you find out about heather's death? >> her friend justin called me and he just kept saying, i think she got hit by that car, and i kept saying what car? i don't know what you're talking about. he said the hospital, they need to find the next of kin. i said, oh, [ bleep ] -- so i called my parents. i said please pray. when we got to the hospital, two ladies grabbed me and walked me up and i walked in the room and

the detective looked at me and he said, she was pronounced -- and i remember just putting my head down and sobbing so loud. for the first few weeks, i kept thinking i raised her just to have her go away like this? but the -- the impact that her death has made on so many people, i guess i can -- i can bear it for that. maybe the world will be a better place because of it. >> what legacy do you want this to leave? >> i want us to help capture those kids who are vulnerable, who are needing friendship. let's pre-emptively prevent it in the first place.

let's learn to care for one another. >> i'm working with, you know, a really amazing young guy, his name is gabe, who is really heavily involved in the movement and he was actually at the rally here in charlottesville. this is a kid who wants to do good but doesn't know how because he was never set up with the tools to do that. i would really love it if you guys met. would you be open to that? >> i think so. if he's willing to meet me, i would like to talk to him. maybe gain some insight. >> i really appreciate that. and i think what's possible is that we work hard to make sure no other mothers lose their sons or daughters. >> that's my goal. i don't want anybody else to have to be in this club. there shouldn't have to be mothers who lose their children because of hate.

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the hour's top stories. shots were fired at the del mar racetrack in california ahead of an ice cube concert. our affiliate knsd says a suspect fired hi gun, was hit by return fire by sheriff's deputies and taken to the hospital. no one else was appeared to be injured and the concert went on at scheduled. two boats crashed in the colorado river, ejecting more than a dozen people on board. an official says none of the boaters were wearing life vests. now back to "breaking hate." picciolini must die. [ bleep ] lover picciolini should be executed.

kill yourself. it is the right choice. the white power movement i walked away from now considers me the ultimate traitor. >> i've always had to look over my shoulder. it's not something that i like to do. it's not something that i like to put my family through. but i know that when i get these responses it's touching their nerve. i know that i'm getting to them, and that means that i am on the right track. i was willing to die for something a long time ago that frankly was garbage. if somebody wants to hurt me now for doing the right thing, i'm okay with that. >> but i do take these threats seriously because white supremacist violence is on the rise. >> arraigned in district court today, 20-year-old james alex fields said he understand the charges against him. second-degree murder, malicious wounding and hit-and-run.

police say fields used his car to intentionally mow down a crowd of anti-hate demonstrators on saturday, killing 32-year-old heather heyer. >> six months after the rally, alt-right websites claimed james alex fields isn't a murderer, he's a martyr, forced to flee a crowd of violent protesters. >> the nationalist community defended ourselves against thugs. >> outside the courthouse today, two self-proclaimed white nationalists began screaming that police, the media and counterprotesters were to blame for saturday's violence. >> it's all part of a culture of victimhood white supremacists use to justify their anger and accusations. the unite the white rally was just an excuse. >> white people have a right to stand up for themselves. southern people have a right to stand up for themselves. when you try to take down your statues, we're not just going to be little [ bleep ] anymore.

>> the architect behind this chaos is himself a charlottesville native and a newcomer to white supremacist circles. >> i was the organizer of the unite the right rally. >> shame, shame, shame! >> the hate that you hear around you, that is the anti-white hate that fueled what happened yesterday. >> the unite the right rally catapulted kessler's status among white nationalists. >> her name was heather, sir. her name was heather, jason. her blood is on your hands. her blood is on your hood. >> he now boasts more than 13,000 twitter followers. a dangerous platform to celebrate the tragic outcome of this rally. >> he's riling people up, making fun of a woman who was murdered. i believe that people need to be

held accountable for what they do. >> i know i can't change jason kessler but i can expose him for what he truly is. >> hello, youtube, this is jason kessler. i've promised you all on twitter and gab to have a little debate today. i just thought it would be interesting to talk to this guy. his name is christian picciolini. you call yourself a former white power person. so you were in a skinhead gang, right? >> right. why do you keep putting up air quotes? >> because i don't use the term white power. what i am and what i think a lot of people in the alt-right are are pro-white. we're not nazi skinheads. i think that white people deserve to be represented like other groups are represented. every other racial group, every other identity, whether it's gender or a sexual orientation identity, they have lobby groups. >> but that's because they're searching for equality. they're not trying to wipe out

white identity. they're trying to be recognized. >> but i think that these anti-white activists, i mean, they just hate everybody who is white and has accomplished something. they want to tear us down instead of building themselves up. i mean -- >> do you hold yourself accountable for the violence that happened there? i mean, you were the organizer of this rally. >> those protesters put themselves in a very dangerous, very risky situation because they were defying the state of emergency order. >> but it was an alt-right person who came to that rally who ultimately drove his car into a group of people. >> that's true but he has not been found guilty and -- >> well -- >> i would say that there is a lot of research and developmeas. >> how do you justify marching alongside swastika flags? you claim you're not a neo nazi, you claim you're not a white nationalist. >> there was one guy with a swastika flag. >> who were the guys chanting the jews will not replace us and

blood and soil? >> i was not chanting that, but one of the primary dominant themes of the alt-right is skepticism and criticism of jewish power. >> do you believe the holocaust happened? >> i don't know. i'm not a historian. >> you can sugar coat this all you want, you can claim a public face that has a smile on it, but behind those closed doors i know exactly what you guys are. i've spoken -- >> no, you don't know who we are. >> i do. i do. >> i can say that there are more people -- >> we used to be able to spot a skinhead or a klansman a mile away and we knew they were dangerous. this new movement may be dressed in pretty clothing that looks like what our daughters or our lawyers or our teachers look like but they have an agenda that is sinister. the real danger are people like jason kessler who are able to hide who they truly are. >> they cling to their twisted

world view and have no interest in empathy or self-reflection, but for those who want to disengage from white supremacy, i can help if they have the courage to confront their own hatred. i'm going to charlottesville in two weeks. would you consider going with me? >> for what purpose? >> i'm going to meet heather heyer's mom and i'm going to sit with her. she's going through a lot of pain because of what happened to her daughter. would you consider going with me? >> i would consider it. i can't say yes or no for sure but i will consider it. >> what are your reservations about it? >> i feel like whatever she would have to say would be revolved around trying to make me feel guilty, i guess, and -- >> you haven't met her, though. how can you make that assumption?

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♪ what's up, superstar? >> how are you? >> i'm good. >> six months after marching in the deadly unite the right rally, i've asked gabe to return to charlottesville. it's time for him to confront the painful truth about what really happened here. most of the people i work with have never had a meaningful interaction with the people they claim to hate. jews, african-americans or the counterprotesters at the charlottesville rally. what saved me was interacting with the people i thought were my enemies.

>> usually the only time you meet someone from the other side is when you're, like, out at like a rally and you're both screaming at each other about ready to, you know, fight or something, but i'm willing to talk to anybody that is willing to talk to me. >> i can't promise anything but i am willing to stick by your side and i promise you that i won't leave. >> at my request, gabe has agreed to meet with susan, heather heyer's mother. >> susan, this is the young man i told you about. this is gabe. >> hi. hi, gabe. nice to meet you. >> this is susan.

this is heather's mother. sit down. >> have a seat. cold enough for you? >> yeah. pretty chilly out there. >> yeah, a little bit. >> gabe, what are you feeling right now? >> to be honest with you, a bit awkward. >> yeah. >> so do i. just because we both know that you were here this summer. >> gabe, what's it like being here now? what's the feeling of being back in charlottesville? >> just realizing the magnitude of what happened there because that got, like, national attention. i wasn't even expecting that, to be honest with you. >> how did you feel when you heard that somebody had been killed? >> i really didn't know how to feel. no offense to you, i mean, at the time i honestly really didn't care -- >> i understand. >> because it was someone from

the other side. >> i think that's part of the problem is that there is this image of this communist protester -- >> oh, my god. >> rebel, you know, paid -- >> so not her. heather came from a broken home. her dad had drug problems. he's clean now but he was never clean while she was growing up. heather seemed to just take it all in but i knew it damaged her in ways. >> gabe, would you mind sharing your upbringing at all with susan? >> when i was around 7 years old, my mom kind of went off on a bender for a couple of years, drinking and drugging and dating less than desirable men. one of those less than desirable men tried to kill her on christmas eve while me and my brother were in the house. that was fun. >> i'm so sorry. >> yeah.

it's -- >> i know we shrug but it's a lot of pain. it's just like you can't fix it. yeah, gi get it. >> well, i appreciate you listening to me because a lot of people that may have knew your daughter or share the same ideals as she had would probably want to kill me. can i ask you something, ma'am? >> yes. >> it was pretty common sentiment revolving around the nationalist movement that she didn't die from injuries from the car accident, she died from a heart attack. is that true? >> the medical examiner's report says blunt force trauma to the abdomen was the cause of death, so, yes, her heart did stop but it stopped because she was hit by the car. >> not because of a heart attack? >> not because of a heart attack. you know jason kessler was in

the courtroom and he knows that the medical examiner's report said blunt force trauma to the abdomen and he has not issued that information to anyone. >> in fact, he's done the opposite. he's helped spread -- >> yeah. >> the fake news. >> he's helped spread the heart attack theory. >> that's pretty bull [ bleep ]. sorry. we're in a church. >> i think god understands. we're in a church. >> i think god understands >> the thing that really didn't settle into my mind until later was how was going to this city that i've never even heard of before and provoking these people to violence, how is that really going to change anybody's mind about anything? it just makes everyone look bad, really. people got hurt from it.

>> susan, i'm assuming nobody has ever reached out to you and said i'm really sorry for what happened. and i -- >> nobody who was at the rally, but i don't hold him responsible, i hold the leaders responsible because they deliberately stirred up the anger. he was used. i'm sorry you were manipulated. >> i'm sorry you lost your daughter. >> thank you. i appreciate that. but i don't hold you accountable. do you understand? so where do we go from here? how do we fix this? >> honestly, susan, i don't know how. >> i don't either. i think we're all trying to figure it out. >> i think a good start is sitting down and talking about it. two people that normally would never do that, it's a start. >> susan's only daughter, heather, was killed by a white

supremacist just six months ago. >> can i help you up? >> do you remember how? >> just like that. >> to witness her compassion for a misguided young man like gabe is remarkable. >> do you want a hug? >> um -- >> if you're not comfortable, just say -- it's okay to say so. okay. i'll give you a hug. >> at first i was really reluctant about meeting with heather's mom. >> it seems like you guys connected. >> yeah. yeah, we did. i'm glad she was able to see where i was coming from. >> this is a big step in gabe's journey but it's not the last. i'm gonna regret that. with liberty mutual new car replacement we'll replace the full value of your car. ♪ liberty. liberty. liberty. liberty ♪

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gabe ever contacted me he was so desperate to shed his skin head past, he used a lighter to try to burn them off of his face. he couldn't do it then. he's ready now. >> i think starting with a clean canvas is going to have a major impact. >> for sure. >> people deserve a second chance and you're getting one. >> i know it and i'm pretty grateful. >> you can put those on. three, two, one. there you go. >> everybody that i meet i see as me 30 years ago. i know that they weren't born that way.

they learned to do this. >> one, two, three. there you go. >> if somebody were to look at gabe a year ago, from a mile away they would have judged him as being a monster. >> another 15 seconds. 3/4s done. five, four. you got. come on. you're tough eput it on, you got to be tough enough to get it taken off.

>> gabe changed the outside but that didn't really change the real gabe. >> there's probably going to be some people that i know that are going to think i'm a trader or whatever. it's pretty refreshinging to say i don't give a [ bleep] >> it takes a kind of twisted nerve to join the hammer skin nation. but it takes real can curage to walk away from them. >> it's just little stuff that happened that built that doubt more and more. just grew that seed of dissolution. >> i think the people that stay are afraid, afraid to start over. >> i want it to be me again, not thuggish skin head nazi guy. that's not how i really felt.

>> hate always has consequences. it destroys everything in a person's life. if we let it. >> they tried to kill my child to shut her up. well, guess what? you just magnified her. you need to find in your heart that small spark of accountability. what is there that i can do to make the world a better place? you take that extrastep, that's how you're going to make my child's death worth while. tprrgs i'd rathver my child but i got to give her up, we're going to make it count. >> 30 years ago i dedicated my life to spreading hate. i can't erase those years but i'll never stop trying to make

amends for what i've done. just got another email says i need your help. you're my last hope. >> like it or not i know this is what i'm meant to do. >> hello this is christian. tell me what's going on, man. due to mature subject matter, viewer discretion is advised. america's prisons, dangerous, often deadly. there are 2 million people doing time. every day is a battle to survive and maintain order. >> down, on your feet. down. >> among the nation's toughest, california state prison, corcoran, severely overcrowded and plagued by racial tension. we spent months inside where officers try to maintain order with an institution with a notoriously violent past. this is "lockup, corcoran,