you can catch brian, myself, the whole msnbc team coveraging the nevada caucuses. 2:00 p.m. eastern tomorrow we go on the air. good night from nbc news until then thank you for being with us and good night from nbc headquarters in new york. 3:00 a.m. knock at the door and he said your dad's been shot and he's been killed. i screamed. the scariest thing you'll ever go through. my whole world crumbled. >> cara was the kind of teacher students just loved. >> she was a rock star in her school. >> with the same man for 20 years enjoying life together by the beach. >> the balcony was like our second living room. you can hear the waves on the shore. >> but she was all alone that night when according to her an intruder burst into her bedroom. >> i was scared to death. i didn't have any other choice.

>> you shot him? >> i shot him. >> she said the man attacked her. >> he told me he was going to kill me. >> she'd been assaulted. she defended herself. >> so why did others call it murder? >> my very first words were she set him up. >> cara's accounts kept changing. >> it hit me just how different all these stories were and how unbelievable they were. >> lies. it's all lies. >> what really made cara pull that trig snr. >> the rug was pulled out from underneath her. she was shocked. >> and she was angry. >> yes. >> a jury would have to decide. >> i did what i did because i had to not because i wanted to. it was night when it happened. indian rocks beach gulf coast of florida, two blocks from the water, 10:05 p.m. quiet at that hour save for the

odd passing car and snatches of neighborhood chatter carried on a cooling ocean breeze. there was a moon almost full. cara ryan was in bed. and then fear, searing as a heart attack, the dogs. >> they were growling. it was one of the things that made me feel so scared. >> someone was coming into her house. >> the door crashed open. >> you said the lights were off. >> they were. >> was it so dark you couldn't actually make out who this person was? >> it happened so fast and i was so afraid. >> she reached to the bed side table, opened the door, took out the gun, the one her ex-husband had given her, trained her to use. aim for the mask, aim for the chest. how many steps? >> like 20. >> and then the shape of the

bedroom doorway, the hand reaching toward the bed, reaching for her so close. she closed her eyes. she pulled the trigger. was the shot fire a warning, just stay out of my bedroom? >> i was aiming for whoever it was. that's what i was taught. you don't fire a warning shot. >> cara called 911. >> you shot him? >> i shot him. >> with a gun? >> with a gun. >> okay. >> cara gripped the gun for dear life terrified the man would come back. >> you still have the gun? >> yes, i do. >> okay, ma'am, i'm getting help on the way. okay, when did this happen? >> just now. >> i was afraid. i was scared. i didn't have any other choice. you fire the gun, when you pick up a gun -- >> if he's coming at you, yes. >> and he came into that room. >> so as he's coming into the room did he say anything?

>> no. >> just was coming into the room. >> right. >> is he still there? >> i don't know. i think he went over to the neighbors. >> is your door lock snd. >> no, too scared to get up. >> in fact the man had run from the house and collapsed on the next door neighbor's doorstep, was lying there, bleeding. the neighbor dialled 911, too. >> he doesn't look very good. >> the neighbor was petrified, afraid of more gunfire, refused to open his door. >> i'm afraid to go outside. >> and you don't feel comfortable going outside? >> no. >> i completely understand. >> staring out his window the man described the man's injuries. >> where's he bleeding from? >> all i can see his arm. >> and yes, it didn't look good. >> i do have the police on the way. is he awake right now? >> doesn't look like it. >> is he breathing? >> yes. >> the first police cars arrived quickly within a couple of minutes. >> i know you're scared, cara,

but the police are there and they're going to protect you but i need you to go to them. >> the 911 operator said go outside to meet them but leave the gun in the house. so she did. she put the gun down. but then what was this? video from the deputy's dash cam shows they told her put your hands up and out on the street they order her down on the ground, handcuffed her, put her in the back of a patrol car. what was it like when they took you out there? did you believe they thought you were a victim or a perpetrator? >> i think when i was greeted by a woman with a rifle and three other deputies with their guns drawn i was ordered to my knees and handcuffed and put in the back. i felt like i didn't really know what was going on. >> a night of terror and a victim who suddenly felt accused. but is that really what happened? no simple tale this. now the question that greeted

officers at the pinellas county sheriff's office was not simple at all. maybe she was a victim who defended herself and maybe she was something else altogether. >> what i'm asking you for is consent for us to go in. obviously it's a crime scene right now. >> what really happened in this little house by the beach in paradise? coming up -- carry was about to tell her story in greater detail. >> i thought maybe i'd grazed him. i said why isn't the ambulance leaving and deputy vaughn said he didn't need an ambulance. and i thought oh -- now he's really going to be mad. >> wait, did cara know the man she shot? who was she talking about? when dateline continues. otic and the gastroenterologists who developed it. align naturally helps to soothe your occasional digestive upsets 24/7. so where you go the pro goes. go with align, the pros in digestive health.

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back seat of the police car. not arrested but confined. strangely perhaps the police hadn't taken her cellphone. she struggled to get to it, was able to make a call or two as she wrestled with the handcuffs behind her and wondered why she of all people was in this predictment. >> it was bizarre, surreal. it's still as if it didn't happen. >> it seemed so safe here, so perfect. two blocks from powdery white beaches, truly a paradise. >> i love the beach, and when i found the house it just took one second to look down the road and see the golf and the other way to see the intercoastal and i knew i had found my home. >> she shared this lovely place with john joseph rush, jj. eveningings on the balcony sipping drinks and inhaling the salty ocean air. >> the balcony was like our second living room, and we often lit a fire and enjoyed the nights out there where you can

hear the waves on the shore. >> jj was the sort of guy any woman could love. 20 years. >> and he wanted to please me, yes. and he was a great friend. he loved his friends, loved his daughter. he was very loving, very generous, very kind. >> but now cara was in a police car, no j.j. to protect her. what a strange place for a law-abiding person to find herself, a high school journalism teacher for heavens sake. >> i loved it. >> what did you love tugboat? >> the kids, they can be very brilliant. and that's one of the best things about teaching. you close your classroom and there's no adults. >> here's a fellow teacher debbie ryan. >> she was a rock star at her school. >> and then one day a st. petersburg police officer helped with a class project and they both realized they had known each other since they were kids. that was j.j. rush.

>> and we spent that whole night just getting to know each other again. >> and a couple of years later they married. cara would welcome megan j.j.'s daughter from his first marriage as part of the new family. >> she was icing on the cake. i was so happy to have a man who had a little girl. >> it can be complicated. >> it wasn't always easy but i loved her like my own. >> but into every life a little rain. 8 years into marriage there was a bump, a big one. >> i had an affair. >> with the principal at her school. that's when cara and j.j. separated and later divorced. >> he blamed himself for my affair and for our breakup and for the year that we were separated and for the year we were divorced he pursued me relentlessly. >> blamed himself why? >> for not being there. for being out in a bar drinking or wherever he was and leaving me to keep the home fires

burning. >> but they weren't apart for long. about a year after the divorce, they had a chance encounter on the beach. >> and i had just broken up with somebody, and i said, you know, god, if i'm going to find a nice man he's going to be on the beach with a dog. and i look over and there's his dog and his daughter, and i thought, god, you know, that's not really funny. >> j.j. must have been happy to see her. two days later she was surprised to find him in her driveway. >> and i said what are you doing there and he said i think we should get back together and that was it. we got back together. >> they never remarried but once back together they called each other husband and wife, they wore wedding rings, they shared bank accounts. it wasn't perfect, of course. what life is? after 17 years on the force a serious car accident left j.j. in too much pain to work on patrol. so he retired and became an

investigator for the medical examiner's office, but things change. their relationship was not like the old days anymore. and then finally j.j. told cara he was moving out for good. it was the day after valentine's day 2015. >> that was a surprise. he had just turned 45 and he woke up one day and said i need some space, i need to find myself. >> this came out of the blue? >> out of the blue. i thought what the heck was going on? >> did you think he was having an affair or something? >> i suspected. >> in fact, j.j. had met someone. a police sergeant named lonny langtow. they had been friends for years but became closer when the relationship with cara seemed to him anyway to hit a dead end. >> he knew she'd be upset and angry, but at the same time he was so excited. >> anyway, cara seemed to be

moving on, too, with another police officer, a steamy relationship. march 2015 three weeks after j.j. moved out is when it happened. the night of panic and terror. and now cara was sitting in a police car. what was she thinking? here's what she told us. she was wondering, she said, why it was taking so long for paramedics to treat the intruder she shot. >> i thought maybe i'd grazed him. and when i got into the cruiser i said what's going on? why isn't the ambulance leaving and deputy vaughn said he didn't need an ambulance. and i thought oh, [ bleep ]. now he's really going to be mad. >> now he's really going to be mad in. >> well, i had fired a gun and called 911. he could have lost his job. >> lose his job, he's going to be mad? oh, yes, cara ryan knew who her

intruder was, knew him very well indeed. coming up -- >> so embarrassing. i had never sent suggested text messages let alone body parts. >> cara shares an eyebrow raising new detail about what happened in her bedroom. >> it was mortifying. >> what she claims set the intruder off. >> that's when he became violent. he was angry, he assaulted me, told me he was going to kill me. >> when "dateline" continues. i'm your 70lb st. bernard puppy, and my lack of impulse control, is about to become your problem. ahh no, come on. i saw you eating poop earlier. hey! my focus is on the road, and that's saving me cash with drivewise. who's the dummy now? whoof! whoof! so get allstate where good drivers save 40% for avoiding mayhem, like me. sorry! he's a baby!

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reporter: it was a full blown crime scene now on this tiny street in indian rocks beach. the street lit up with flashing lights, police lines drawn, crime scene investigators and detectives arriving. >> my name is john syers, okay. i'm with the sheriff's office. >> reporter: lead detective john syers and his partner a.j. scarpati introduced themselves. asked cara, who did she shoot? did she know him? without hesitation she said -- >> my ex-husband. >> who do you -- >> jay. >> i'm sorry. what do you call him? >> jay. >> jay? >> j.j. >> okay. >> it's j.j. rush. i call him jay. >> reporter: that's right, her ex-husband, j.j. rush. small world. detective syers knew j.j. had run into him at crime scenes. jj was a medical examiners investigator. but why would cara shoot him? her answer was right there in the 911 call.

>> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> he raped you? >> i shot him. >> reporter: rape? but, that's all she said on the topic. until about two hours later, when she told a deputy she needed medical attention. >> i need to see a doctor. i've been hurt. >> reporter: it was detective syers' job to sort through it all, and he began by showing cara a bit of kindness. >> i went over and took the handcuffs off of her. >> she must have seemed pretty upset. she just shot her ex-husband? >> not unduly. >> really? >> no. >> reporter: mind you, according to cara, as she sat here in the car she didn't know how badly hurt j.j. was. >> so you thought he was alive still? >> absolutely. >> didn't even need an ambulance? >> didn't need an ambulance. >> reporter: in fact, j.j. died rather quickly. a fate that had a certain irony. it was he who gave cara the gun,

taught her how to shoot-to-kill, in case the occasion ever arose. was this an appropriate occasion? detective syers, charged with finding out, understood he had a problem. learned that from the deputy who put cara in his car. >> we were told that she had used her telephone. >> reporter: that is, her cellphone, the one they failed to take away. big mistake. who did she call? what did she say? syers knew the patrol car was equipped with a camera and microphone to record any conversations. so -- >> i naturally asked, "was this recorded?" and i was told, "no, it wasn't." >> reporter: there was video, just no audio. for the first hour and a half, cara was in that patrol car. deputy forgot to turn it on. mistake number two. a rather important one, as it would turn out. >> reporter: anyway, they kept her in the car for almost three hours as they gathered evidence. a deputy finally took her to police headquarters, where the detectives made arrangements for an examination at a rape crisis

center. later, they looked at the tapes of cara, recorded during that drive to the station. >> did she appear to be emotionally battered or anything? >> i mean if you watch the in car camera, she's just kinda casually talking with him about being in the law enforcement community and knowing different people. >> yaz was, um, on my husband's softball team. >> it was just kinda, you know, general conversation. she didn't seem so upset in that video. >> reporter: it was around 2:00 a.m. at police headquarters, when cara revealed why jj was at her place that night even though he'd left her, moved out, three weeks earlier. it was quite a story. remember, cara met a new man after the breakup with jj. also a sheriff's deputy, his name was scott. scott holderbaum. >> for a week or so you were seeing this guy. you were having some, it was fun. >> it was fun. i was giddy. i was like a school kid, and i -- my teacher in the room next

to me -- i'd run over there and say, "he just texted me. what do i say? i hadn't really been on a date in 20 years. >> reporter: the day of the shooting, cara texted scott a very explicit text, complete with intimate selfie, inviting him to come over for a tryst. >> so embarrassing. i had never sent suggestive text messages, let alone body parts, it was mortifying. i'd be sad if it wasn't so tragic. but it is tragic. >> so -- but he couldn't come? is that what happened? >> oh, scott was at work he worked from 7:00 at night to 7:00 in the morning. >> reporter: so, she said, she sent the very same x-rated selfie and a similar invitation to j.j. and jj, though he was seeing someone else, came right over. >> would he have thought of it as break up sex? like, you know, maybe -- >> sure. >> one last go round. >> yeah, we're all nostalgic. there's a country song "we don't have to be lonely tonight." you know, and then tomorrow

we'll go our separate ways. >> reporter: cara told detectives that as she and j.j. were in bed together, her phone kept beeping. incoming text messages. >> chirp chirp. >> yeah. so i ignored it. >> reporter: it was scott. >> and it went off again. and i told him, "just ignore it. just ignore it." and he leaned over, and he grabbed the phone, and he opened it, and he said, "who the hell is scott holderbaum?" >> reporter: that, cara told police, is when j.j. saw she'd sent the same picture, the same invitation to both of them. >> so he saw, kinda like, the text message conversation or whatever you call it? >> he saw a photograph i don't know. >> and that's when he became violent. he was angry. he assaulted me, told me he was gonna kill me, told me he was gonna kill scott. >> said that at the time he saw this stuff? >> "you'll both be dead by the morning light. you're an effing whore."

and he was just furious. >> you say he assaulted you. what, he raped you? >> he did things against my will. yes. >> reporter: then, cara told the detectives, j.j. dressed and drove off, and she called him six times, to try to get him to calm down. >> i called him right away and i told him how sorry i was, and how it's not serious with scott, and that i was gonna call it off. >> reporter: and a few minutes later, when he came storming back into the house, cara said she knew exactly who it was. >> i heard him come through the door, and he told me he was gonna kill me, or he was gonna make it to where nobody would ever want me again. and he came in the room and that's when i grabbed the gun. >> reporter: a story which, as you'll see, would be rather important later. after they heard it, the detectives sent cara to the rape crisis center. but the results there? only raised more questions. and something she said, while

there, would have them wondering, was cara a rape victim or a woman scorned? whose fury ended in murder? >> coming up -- >> let me ask you this point-blank did you know that was john coming through the door and did you shoot him purposely? >> cara changes her story claiming she didn't know it was jj coming into her house. just a moment, you were with this guy night and day in bed intimate hearing all his grunts, listening to the way he walks for 20 years. >> right. >> and you didn't recognize who it was coming through the door? >> when dateline continues. introducing the future of fitness. it's every class you

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hello. i'm dara brown. here's what's happening. presidential candidates are making their final pitch ahead of the nevada caucuses. doors open saturday at 10:00 a.m. local time.

meanwhile the u.s. officials say russia is trying to help the 2020 presidential campaigns for bernie sanders and president trump. bun utline trump sanders fired back, telling russia, quote, stay out of american elections. and after four days of deliberation the jury in the harvey weinstein trial say they are deadlocked on the most serious charges. deliberations will resume monday. now back to dateline. reporter: it was the middle of the night when j.j. rush's daughter, meghan, was awakened from a deep sleep. >> 3:00 a.m. knock at my door from the detectives. >> what's that like? >> the scariest thing that you will ever go through -- and they said, your dad's been shot and he's been killed. i said -- i screamed, obviously,

and it was terror and loss. it's not something any 21-year-old wants to hear at 3:00 in the morning. >> reporter: meghan was not the only one assaulted with the news that night. >> i was called that night. >> reporter: and in lonnie lancto's case, a particular remorse -- a regret for a lifetime. lonnie was recovering from surgery just then, and earlier that day j.j. called, offered his company, his help. and she said thanks but no, she was going to sleep. >> you must have gone over that in your mind a million times. >> i live with it every day. i take comfort in the fact that the last words we had to each other were, i love you, and i love you more. those weren't the last words that they had with each other. i guarantee you that. >> reporter: she means j.j. and cara, of course. so, why did he go to her, and what happened? around 6 a.m., cara returned to

the pinellas county sherrif's office from the rape crisis center. she was put in an interview room while detectives reviewed the rape report. it was not conclusive. >> did they find, you know, any of the classic symptoms of a violent sexual assault? >> none were notated, no. >> reporter: however, the report did note bruising on cara's hip. >> was it possible to determine how that bruising got to be there? >> that original nurse thought that that bruising might of been from the incident of the night. when it was examined later by another doctor they determined that the bruising was days older. >> she said that he held her wrists while he sexually assaulted her and therefore left marks. >> the examination didn't notate anything with her wrists. mind you, photos, as you can see, did show a red mark, but the detectives said that was most likely from the handcuffs which she twisted around as she tried to make cell phone calls,or maybe she got those

marks having sex with her new boyfriend. cara told them it was pretty wild. >> sex that i haven't even thought about since college. >> reporter: the detectives looked at text messages between cara and her new boyfriend sent a few days earlier. >> well they had text messages back and forth >> tie me up. tie me down, and they talked about putting certain type of lotion on bite marks or bruises, and they talked about handcuffs. >> the injuries on your wrists, the text from him. he said he would bring over handcuffs again and again leave some marks. >> i said, are you bringing your handcuffs? >> well, and he said, get prepared to have some more bruises. >> marks of passion i think he said. yeah. >> do you like marks of passion? >> i like passionate sex. >> reporter: so what did cara think about the rape crisis center's inconclusive report? >> they did a rape kit and they didn't find any evidence of rape. >> yes, they did. they did. it showed -- well, it showed

sexual contact. >> uh-huh. >> didn't show there wasn't a rape. >> reporter: while cara was at the rape crisis center, the detectives received new information from the crime scene. such as -- first responders believed the house lights had pretty much all been on when whatever happened happened. remember cara said it was dark in the house, but -- >> once we gathered a little bit more evidence from the detectives working the crime scene then we did get definitely more pointed in our question, and more direct. >> reporter: and then something odd happened. cara changed her story. remember, she told 911, my ex-husband raped me. i shot him. >> breaking into your home. >> reporter: but now? now she said she didn't know who was coming into the house. >> somebody was in my home, whether it was jay or jack the ripper. i was scared.

somebody came in the house unannounced. >> coulda been j.j. or it could have been jack the ripper? really? i mean, did -- what did you think of that? >> she thought her story, you know, needed to be embellished. >> i'm gonna ask you very, very bluntly and very honestly. okay? >> okay. >> did the rape occur? >> it did. >> let me ask you this point blank. did you know that was john coming through the door, and did you shoot him purposely? >> no, i did not. i would not shoot john purposely. >> but you shot that person purposely, correct? >> in that moment. i was scared. >> you were scared, why? >> i had an emotional night. i didn't know what was happening, and you know what? i just -- i wish i'd never gotten that gun. >> talking with us, she defended this second story, that she didn't know who the intruder was, and assumed it could be a stranger. >> you were in the middle of a

big fight. >> he wouldn't have come -- >> a break up fight. >> he wouldn't have come back. >> he's coming back around to talk to you. he wants to clear some things up. >> he would've said that on the phone. >> so as he's coming in the room -- what -- did he say anything? >> no. >> just was sort of coming in the room -- >> right. >> and you shot him, but you saw who it was? >> didn't see who it was, and i was so scared -- >> hang on a second. >> and nervous. >> just -- just a moment. you were with this guy night and day, in bed, intimate, hearing all his grunts, listening to the way he walks -- >> right. >> for 20 years. >> right. >> and you say you didn't recognize who it was coming through the door? >> no. i was scared out of my mind. >> reporter: cara said it was only when she heard j.j.'s voice that she knew who it was. >> what happened right after you shot him? >> that's when i heard him say, oh --. so that's when i figured it was

him. >> reporter: so which was it? my ex-husband raped me, i shot him, or i shot a stranger, or was it a third version of events, this one filled with stories about j.j. >> he had a dark side. >> reporter: yes. cara had a lot to say about her recently departed ex, but was it true? but was it true? coming up -- >> i felt really betrayed and lied to and hurt. >> cara calls one behavior of j.j.'s disturbing and down right compulsive. >> there were days he could go from sundown to sun up. >> why some say j. j. was spinning out of control. >> there's no way to predict where the spiral would end, he was a danger to himself or somebody else. >> i think a part of him didn't want to be in this world anymore. >> when dateline continues. tax refund than you deserve?

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reporter: j.j. rush was dead. his ex-wife cara ryan killed him. in self-defense, she said. and now she set about telling the detectives about the real j.j. same thing she told us. not a pretty picture, she said. >> right after we got married -- the compulsive gambling became the big issue. and there were days where he could go from sundown to sunup.

and there's no windows thin casino so he would lose all track of time. >> did you go with him? >> i did. and he didn't like it so i started feeling maybe there's a problem here. >> reporter: cara was a school teacher, remember. and one day, she said, she got a nasty letter from the florida department of education. >> the state was going to pull my teaching certificate 'cause he hadn't paid my student loans. >> reporter: he paid the bills in the early days of their marriage she said. >> so i started looking at accounts thinking, "what's going on here?" i don't understand. >> reporter: "what was going on," said cara, was they were broke. >> i felt really betrayed and lied to, and hurt. >> reporter: so, she said, she laid down the law. took over the financial stuff. and told j.j. he had to get help for his gambling addiction. >> but, you know, a gambling addiction, it's probably as hard or harder to kick than smoking, or drinking or -- >> it's very hard. but i loved him. i made vows. i made a commitment.

so, as long as he was willing to go to gamblers anonymous, then i was willing to support him. and we went to marriage counseling. that helped. >> reporter: cara told detectives that for five years j.j. didn't gamble at all and they were happy. but -- >> you know, i always worried that the gambling would come back up and financial situations would happen again. >> reporter: and then in 2004, j.j. had that that bad crash in his police car. >> when we got there very shortly thereafter he had an actual, like, a hole in the top of his head. >> reporter: bob jones, is a former st. petersburg police officer and j.j.'s good friend. >> his knees and feet and everything else got hung up around the steering wheel. and from that point on multiple back problems, multiple back surgeries. >> reporter: and that, said cara, is when -- >> he started drinking heavily, all day, every day. >> reporter: at home recovering?

>> yes. >> reporter: depressed. >> depressed, yeah. >> reporter: he recovered, eventually, she said, and took that job as an investigator at the medical examiners office. but he was in pain most of the time. >> he kept drinking. and that's when he started using the oxycodone for the knee pain. >> reporter: sure. that was prescribed, right? >> yes. but it became chronic. and he was unpredictable when he was on it and off it. >> reporter: cara told detectives j.j. liked his work with the medical examiners office, but the horrific crime scenes he witnessed took their toll. so much so he developed ptsd. >> one example, the last one -- a man threw his 7-year-old girl off a bridge. and that was his case. i know it was emotionally tearing him apart. >> reporter: the day before cara shot him, j.j. went to a therapist, a man named bob greene. he had also been their marriage counselor. and so, of course, the police talked to mr. greene. and he told them that day, j.j. was in tears. >> he was spiraling out of

control. there is no way to predict in that situation where the spiral would end. either a danger to himself or somebody else. >> reporter: where the sort of burdens of what he did for a living and that his situation in life had become too big for him? >> yes. >> i think a part of him didn't wanna be in this world anymore. >> reporter: but he was supposedly kind of happy. >> that was the face he put on. >> reporter: you don't believe that? >> i know he wasn't happy. anti-depressants, and the drinking, and the oxy, and the physical pain, and the mental pain, the post-traumatic stress disorder. he was struggling. >> reporter: the therapist, green, went even further when he offered police a remarkable theory -- that j.j. knew if he barged in on cara unannounced, she would shoot. and shoot to kill. >> my opinion has always been that it was a suicide.

>> reporter: well, how could it possibly be a suicide? >> because he had trained cara that if someone comes through the front door unannounced -- you pick up a gun, you close your eyes and you shoot. >> reporter: to a lotta people it would seem a stretch. >> he had not announced he was coming over. someone came through the front door and she did as she was trained to do. >> reporter: detectives weren't buying green's idea. >> it's kind of a ridiculous theory. >> reporter: so, cara's version? that without her to help him, j.j. was depressed, suffering from ptsd, a suicidal, gambling, alcohol and oxycodone addicted man, who, in the days after he left her, fell off all of his wagons. and fell into a rage when he saw she had a new love. the detectives were skeptical. >> when it comes to being derogatory towards j.j. and she has all the specifics we need, but when it comes to explaining the rape or the attack, then things become very fuzzy. she folds up into the corner, starts hiding her face, just a different persona altogether.

>> reporter: so what was the truth about j.j.? >> he was happier than he's been ever, that i can remember. and all of his friends will tell you the same thing. >> reporter: who was right? and what did it say about the events in this little seaside bedroom? coming up -- >> i asked john to help me, and he was reluctant at first and then he finally helped me, but when he did he said don't tell cara. >> a very different picture emerges of j.j. as a man very much under cara's thumb. >> he was very controlled. he couldn't go out to lunch without bridging home a receipt. >> a man ready to make a change. >> he was dead set on not being with her anymore. he was done. >> when dateline continues. saturdays happen. pain happens. aleve it. aleve is proven stronger

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reporter: detectives listened closely to cara ryan, and her stories about j.j.'s problems. depression, gambling, drinking, pain killers. a man, so out of control he raped her in a rage before she shot him. >> and then he came back through the door. i thought he was gonna kill me. >> reporter: was it true? >> never in his life. never in his life. >> reporter: lonnie lancto had known cara and j.j. for years, before she and j.j. fell in love. did she have a reasonable argument that maybe she thought she was defending her life? >> not at all. he wasn't a violent person. she has -- she has no other defense but to tell you that. >> reporter: private lives, as we all know, can hide cesspools of stories best left untold. but, no secrets in a murder investigation. the detectives had to know, what was the nature of cara and jj's 20 year relationship? for example, that chance meeting on the beach years earlier when they were divorced.

cara said it just happened. the detectives said she made it happen, tracking him down to an out of the way beach. >> she actually told us you know, "i'm walking on this beach that's nowhere near my house," and i say, the next man i walk into" -- "he" -- "he's gonna be it." >> reporter: he's the one? yeah. >> and it ends up being jj, you know, wasn't reasonable. >> maybe in the movies, i guess that might happen. >> reporter: calculating, said the detectives. and, in keeping. >> a lot of the -- description to us -- of -- of their relationship was she was more controlling. >> reporter: and, especially, without exception. >> she controlled the money. >> reporter: when j.j. retired from the police department, he collected a pension as well as his salary at the medical examiner's office. but he never saw any of the money. both checks went directly into a bank account controlled only by cara. >> all he did was deposit his checks.

he couldn't tell you how much they even were. he was very controlled. he couldn't go out to lunch without bringing home a receipt. >> reporter: if he wanted to help his daughter meghan, he had to ask cara. >> like, i once needed help with a deposit for my -- my phone, and he had to call, and have a conversation over $100, just to help me out. and -- so, he was like, "yeah, cara said, okay." and it was like -- okay -- thanks. >> reporter: meghan's mom, and j.j.'s first wife, sherry tribby, said it was always like that with cara. >> once when meghan was in elementary school -- i didn't have the money to buy her shoes. so, i asked john to help me, and he was reluctant -- reluctant at first, and then he -- he finally helped me, but when he did he said, "don't tell cara." >> reporter: but cara said, she had her reasons. >> he couldn't have his own bank account. he couldn't have credit cards. he couldn't have an account with me off of it. >> reporter: that, she said, was

because of his gambling addiction. but, addiction? j.j.'s family said he liked to go to the track and play cards, but he was far from addicted. if he went out somewhere with somebody and bought something, i mean, would you need to see a receipt? >> he wanted to give me the receipts. he wanted it to be where i didn't have to worry. >> reporter: okay. >> he didn't want me to look over his shoulder. so he put his receipts on the counter for me. >> reporter: secrets. to the world outside the family, cara was, as she herself said, a loving stepmother to j.j.'s daughter meghan. she felt like you were very close. she regarded you as her own. >> i'm sure she did. >> reporter: why would you put it that way? >> she wanted to put that scene out for everybody. that -- we had a perfect relationship. i never really felt like she liked me or wanted me there. so, being with somebody who

makes you feel so unwanted and unloved, it's -- it was tough. >> reporter: it got to be easier to meet her father in secret, said "meghan, avoid the tension with cara." but, issues will barge in, like it or not. like the time meghan wanted to apply for a job as a police dispatcher, and felt she needed a new dress for the interview. cara got wind of it. >> she said, "oh, well you'll never make it through that anyway." she wanted a dress for her interview and she could never ask him for that before because cara wouldn't allow the money to be spent. >> reporter: that's about the time j.j. started planning his exit. as he whispered to meghan. >> he was secretly -- opening up his new bank account. and he changed everything so that nothing was going into her account anymore. and then, the time that she started to notice was when he was like, "okay, it's time to get out now." >> reporter: that sounds like somebody who has made a firm and final decision.

>> he was dead set on not being with her anymore. he was done. and i was proud of him. >> reporter: so. he'd left her. taken up with another woman. cut off a substantial income. ended her ability to control him. sounded like a motive, said the detectives. >> the rug was pulled out from underneath her. she was -- she was shocked -- dismay. >> reporter: and she was angry? >> the shock turns to anger at some point. >> reporter: and there was j.j., apparently happy, getting his own place, his own car. had a girlfriend who loved him. bought his daughter that dress. >> i think it was the first moment of, like, being -- like, freedom, i guess, where he felt like i can -- i can actually do this. and when you give me the receipt, i can throw it away. >> reporter: did he succumb to gambling, alcohol and pain killers after he left cara? no, said lonnie lancto. not even close. >> with john, none of those

things existed. and he certainly had ample opportunity to drink to excess, to gamble to excess, to be angry, to be upset. and he -- >> reporter: he was free to do whatever he wanted now? >> yes, absolutely he was. >> reporter: we reminded lonnie of what cara and the therapist had told us. that he was in a downward spiral, getting worse and worse by the day. that he was actually suicidal. did you see any evidence of that? >> absolutely not. he was not suicidal. he was happier than he's been -- ever that i can remember. >> i was excited. and it was just like, cool you know? like, this is -- this is the dad that i want all the time. i got to see like, my real dad, and it was great. sorry. >> reporter: that's okay. >> i've just never seen him so happy as he was.

>> reporter: happy for the three weeks after he moved out, and then he was dead. what was a homicide detective to make of all that? coming up -- a startling theory of what really happened the night of the shooting. >> my very first words was she set him up. she set him up. >> when dateline continues.

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cara ryan talked to these detectives all night long. admitted she shot j.j. rush, her man of 20 years. but it wasn't until 10:00 the next morning as she was finishing up her last taped statement that the detective gave her the news that held back all night -- j.j. was dead. why wait so long? >> i believe she knew right away that he was dead. >> yeah?

>> but yet for the entire nine hours and 55 minutes that she was with us, she never once led on that -- >> never came up -- >> that she thought he was deceased. never asked how he was or anything. >> how did she react when you told her she was dead? >> no reaction. it was just a very flat, emotionalless aeffefect. >> remember the phone calls, later she retrieved a voicemail she left for a friend. in it, she appears to know that j.j. may be seriously hurt and feared she was in keep trouble. the day after police sent cara home, she consulted an attorney, roger fuderman, a british born

american lawyer who flies the union jack outside of his clearwater office. >> when i first heard the facts from ms. riceon, i didn't think -- ryan, i didn't they were going to charge her. >> the defendant, she'd been a little different. >> she -- i believed her. she seemed believable. >> reporter: meanwhile, detectives continued their investigation. one thing that struck them was the reaction of j.j.'s family and friends. daughter megan -- >> i said, it -- was it her, cara. they said yes, my world crumpled. >> reporter: his girlfriend -- >> my first words were it was a setup, she set him up. >> reporter: his older brothers -- >> i told him to take the guns out of the house. that's how much i did not trust her. >> my first words were "that bit bitch," no hesitation. i knew in my heart that this was not going to be an accident. >> yeah.

>> reporter: strong words. and then the detectives talked to the next-door neighbor. >> the next-door neighbor did tell us that j.j. said that he was scared she would shoot him. >> i'm going to break up with her, i'm afraid she might shoot me either as a reaction to the breakup or something of that sort. >> right. >> reporter: that was the day before j.j. moved out. >> the gun went off. i shot him. >> reporter: but there was one person'swar person's words the detectives kept analyzing -- cara ryan's own words. they listened carefully to the stories she told and compared them. >> what they were, how they changed over time, and that was -- that was really when it kind of hit me just how different all of these stores were and how unbelievable they were. >> reporter: there were, said the detectives, four main stories. the first -- what she told 911 and the first responding officers. >> my ex-husband came in and raped me. >> okay, when did this happen?

>> just now, he came in and raped me. >> reporter: shot him while or after she raped her. they asked her that as she sat in the patrol car. at this point, the audio was turned on. >> the second version emerged in the interview room. cara said j.j. raped her and left. when he came back, she heard and recognized his voice threatening her before she shot him. >> and he told me he was going to kill me.

>> reporter: then at the rape crisis center, another version -- an accidental shooting. cara quoted as saying he grabbed her, and the gun went off. now she's telling the rape counselor that they were struggli struggling over the gun during this alleged sexual attack? >> she's telling me he raped her, she shot him. never said anything about grabbing the gun until she speaks with the counselor. >> reporter: version number four, cara didn't know who was coming into the house. she was scared and fired. >> somebody was in my house.

>> there were more variations -- the door was locked, or it wasn't locked. j.j. would always call her before he came over, but this time didn't. the detectives counted them all up. cara's versions of what happened in this tiny bedroom. they got to ten. ten different stories. as you looked at the different stories, what did you think you were dealing with here?

>> if you are in a situation that calls for self-defense and if you lie about the circumstances, that tells me that you weren't justified in what you were doing, otherwise why do you need keep changing the story? >> reporter: no question in their minds, said the detectives. cara murdered j.j. tlafted her. the sheriff -- they arrested her. the sheriff made the announcement. >> we believe this is a domestic-related homicide. and cara ryan was acting out because she was losing control over him. >> when i watched the press conference, i was crying my eyes out. >> reporter: fellow teacher debbie ryan didn't believe what they were saying about cara. >> i believe in her. a couple people said, you believe here? yeah, why wouldn't i? sad when people don't know the facts. >> reporter: cara was charged with second-degree murder. she was facing a possible life

sentence for killing j.j. rush. coming up -- >> there was absolutely zero doubt in my mind that miranda was never read. >> did you read her her miranda warning? >> i did. >> reporter: carra's defense mounts a new strategy. (sneezing) (coughing) (sneezing) grab the only tissue with coconut oil, aloe, and vitamin e. nourish with kleenex soothing lotion. the softest lotion tissue. coyou fifteen percentico or more on car insurance? do woodchucks chuck wood?

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you're charged with murder in the second degree. >> reporter: second-degree murder. cara ryan was facing life in prison for shooting her ex-husband, j.j. rush. she was convinced it would go away. >> i thought it was ridiculous. i was waiting any day for them to realize they had no case. >> reporter: her attorney said he, too, was surprised that cara was charged. >> i knew from minute one there was no motive. and there was -- >> reporter: what do you mean there was no motive? >> i saw no motive. >> reporter: a breakup of marriage. that's when murders occur. the guy is taking his income away, he's walked out on her. >> uh-huh. >> reporter: he's seeing another

woman. >> but when i looked at everything, i said they don't have a motive here. it's clear she loved this man. she didn't need the money. >> reporter: now that she was charged, her attorney first got cara out on bail and then confronted what he knew was a very big problem. >> the statements, the sequence of some of the statements were an issue. >> reporter: so he did exactly what detectives had done. he scrutinized all those statements. but he tried to figure out a defense. >> i hand wrote all her statements on huge boards. and every inconsistent statement was in red. and the consistents were in blue. then the helpful were in green. >> reporter: he asked cara how make sense of the color-coded differences. >> i asked her, how on earth do we get this? get around this? she said the truthful without thinking, without planning, she said, they're all true. i just got some of the sequences

wrong, okay. >> reporter: that's because cara was in shock, he said, and questioned on and off for nearly ten hours. >> it's a logical explanation in the inconsistencies. >> reporter: still, so many stories. maybe he thought he could find a way to reduce the number of cara's stories a future jury would hear. remember the deputy who failed to record audio when she was in the police car? the deputy said that's when he read cara her miranda warning, the right to remain silent and have an attorney. but did he? >> there is absolutely zero doubt in my mind that miranda was never read. >> reporter: if cara wasn't read her rights, that statement would be thrown out, a jury would never hear it. so there was a hearing. the prosecutor questioned the deputy. >> did you read her her miranda warning? >> i did. >> how long had she been in the patrol car when you did that?

>> about 15 minutes. >> reporter: and here's how the deputy said cara responded -- >> her comment was, "yes, ian d understand." >> reporter: she swore that never happened. >> absolutely not. >> reporter: who was right? that's when her attorney got a big idea. >> we got a lip reader -- >> reporter: a lip reader? >> a lip reader. i was looking at the video and thought if he so-called read miranda, even though the sound's not on, if we get a lip reader we're going to be able it tell if she answered like she explained he answered. >> reporter: and if she didn't, maybe he could prevent a jury from hearing that first conflicting story. does it surprise people when they find out how well you can read lips? >> yes. >> reporter: and here she is, lucinda headler, who is deaf, is the lip reader hired by the attorney. had you heard such a request before? >> it was the first time in my whole life. >> reporter: the video was very

grainy. hard to decipher. but lucinda told fuderman she would try. what were you looking for her to say? >> i was specifically looking for, "yes, i understand my rights." i see no evidence of her saying those words. >> reporter: right. but then a judge's ruling meant it suddenly didn't matter what lucinda saw or didn't see. a miranda warning, said the judge, wasn't necessary at that point. >> you have the rye to remain silent -- >> reporter: and she had been read her rights later at the police station. the jury would get to hear cara's first conflicting statement. fuderman was deflated. somehow he was sure lucinda had to be good for his case, but he knew the judge's ruling was a problem. he switched gears and planned his strategy to pick a jury.

>> we anticipated that women would be favorable to someone that had been raped. >> reporter: he decided to do a dry run, enlisted mock juries to listen to evidence from cara himself. it was rare to witness the workings of a mock trial. they're usually secret. this is the audio as she testify. >> that's when i reached for the gun. >> when you shot, did you know who you shot? >> no. not until i heard his voice. >> reporter: fuderman acted as prosecutor. the questioning was withering. >> now we have three stories within a couple of hours' period, and your explanation is what? >> i was stunned. i was shocked. i was an emotional wreck. >> reporter: that should go down well with female jurors, he thought. and -- >> i was dead wrong. >> reporter: here's what the mock jurors told fuderman --

while some women gave the answer he expected -- >> i found her not guilty. she was already in fear for her life. >> reporter: most found her guilty as sin. >> i don't believe for one second that she was raped. >> reporter: as for the men, the result was practically reversed. >> the facts of the case are that someone broke into the home, and they were afraid and they shot him. >> reporter: were fuderman and his co-counsel surprised? you bet they were. trying to rethink -- time to rethink strategy. >> every case is winnable. and every case has pros and cons. >> reporter: cara's case winnable? well, that remained to be seen. coming up, at trial, testimony that j.j. had recently cut his financial ties to cara, and there was going to be hell to pay. >> the west coast he died, i -- the week he died i helped him get bank accounts away for her. that was the first week money

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here's what's. ing -- the cdc confirms it 35 cases of coronavirus in the united states as the total number of infections rises to over 77,000 globally. and 2020 presidential candidate mike bloomberg is releasing three women from nondisclosure agreements after he was pressed to do so by elizabeth warren during the democratic debate. the women complained about inappropriate comments the former mayor of new york made to them when they worked for his company. now back to "dateline." >> reporter:. quite two years after -- not quite two years after cara ryan shot her husband, liz jack stood before a jury and painted a

picture a cold, manipulative woman who could no longer control or even have her once compliant ex-husband. so -- >> on march 7th, 2015, she invited him over for sex. he accepted her invitation, and by the end of the night he was dead. >> reporter: dead, the state charged, because he had the temerity to leave her and take up with another woman. >> she was not happy about it. i think she was definitely shocked. to her it came out of nowhere. >> reporter: and he didn't just leave her. he cut off the money. >> she was financially dependent on him, and he left her. >> she was used to having x number more dollars in her bank account. >> reporter: now it was gone. >> now it was gone. >> reporter: listen to the 911 call -- so devoid of emotion said the prosecutor. evidence that this popular teacher was capable of murder.

>> reporter: more evidence -- soon after the murder, police asked j.j.'s daughter megan to call cara. they recorded the call. it, too, was played for the jury. >> the monotone, the lack of m sympathy. >> she's talking to the daughter of the man she shot and killed. >> reporter: the jury also saw these selfies from cara's phone. they were taken three days after the shooting. >> she just killed her lover of so many years, and here she is out drinking. seemed very odd. >> reporter: and remember all

those stories about cara's control over j.j.? megan told the jury how he had to sneak around with his own daughter. >> he would give me money and gas gift cards or grocery gift cards to make it look like he had bought gas or groceries because if he took cash out or money out to give me, it would cause some type of ordeal. >> reporter: but his new love, lonnie lanktow, told the jury about the change in j.j. as soon as he left cara. >> his relationship with his daughter was so much better because he didn't have to answer to why he was talking to her, what was it about, what did she want. >> reporter: wait a minute, he had to answer for how he talked to his daughter? >> oh, absolutely. that was a big deal. >> reporter: j.j., she said, loved his newly found freedom. >> he was so excited, he was so happy to not have to answer to someone for every single thing he did or said. >> reporter: and lonnie told the

jury that all hell broke loose after j.j. cut off his financial ties to cara. >> the week he died, i helped him get bank accounts away from her. that was the first week the money didn't hit the account. and she had a fit. it was about money with her. >> reporter: then the night j.j. died, the prosecutor said cara lured him with that invitation for sex via x-rated text messages which were displayed for the jury. >> we also found that she downloaded a book, "how to get your man back" or something to that effect. >> reporter: just how badly did she want him back? these are from notes cara wrote to herself on her phone. "i would do anything to make it work, i love you. i want to start over. how can you just abandon a 20-year relationship?" >> stuff that we found in her cell phone that showed this shock and this dismay that, you know, how could he do this? >> reporter: remember, cara accused j.j. of raping her. so the prosecutor told the jury

that dna tests didn't even show clear evidence they'd had sex. and those bruises on cara's hip were, judging from texts with the new boyfriend, not from j.j.>> the rough sex a couple of days prior to the shooting is what led to whatever injuries she may have had. >> reporter: the red marks on her wrists could have been from sex play, said the state. could have been from struggling with her handcuffs here in the police car. >> nothing led me to believe that there was anything from this alleged altercation with j.j. that was on her body at all. >> reporter: and remember how cara told detectives that j.j. went back to drinking and abusing oxycodone after they broke up? the medical examiner testified that the level of alcohol in his system was very low that night, and there was no trace of opiates in his blood at the time of his death. >> he had one -- one pill in his

pocket at the time of his death. and he obviously had the prescription because he injured his back. >> reporter: so if the detectives were right that cara wasn't defending herself, why that night at that moment did she take out the gun and pull the trigger? because, said the prosecutor, her ploy, her attempt to lure him back failed. and she was losing control of him. the state's theory, that cara did send graphic self toes her new boyfriend, and j.j. did see them. she wanted to make him jealous, but he didn't attack her. he just walked out on her. >> i think it's reasonable to believe that he said "this is it, this is over," you know, so maybe that plays a part into her saying, you know, "i'm not going to get him back." >> reporter: and so -- >> things went south. she wasn't happy. >> reporter: the police and the prosecutor said it couldn't have happened the way cara said it did. for one thing, when first responders arrived just moments after the shooting really, all the lights in the house were on. it wasn't in darkness, the way

she had described it. and this room is so tiny that somebody standing in the doorway could reach out and touch the finger of the person on the bed. so wouldn't she have recognized the man she lived with for 20 years when he was that close? wouldn't she have recognized the sound of his footsteps coming across the floor? and the bullet that killed him went in through his upper arm at the back and down into his heart, as if he wasn't coming in to attack her but as if he was turning away, perhaps to run. you saw the trajectory of the bullet. what story did it tell you about what must have happened in that bedroom doorway? >> j.j. was walking out or turned to leave the bedroom and saw it coming and may have ducked down. her story of "i saw this hand reaching toward me and i pulled the trigger," it doesn't line up with how -- the apg ngle of the shooting. i said, did the bullet hang a

u-turn? it doesn't work like that. >> reporter: perhaps the state's strongest evidence was in cara's own words. jurors listened to those hours and hours of ever evolving stories. >> i was scared. i didn't know who was coming in. >> i think any normal person, you know, would be able to look at those interviews and say she's lying. you know, she's not telling the truth. there's nothing in there that tells me, you know, that there's a reasonable explanation for her action. >> reporter: yes, there was a reasonable explanation, said the defense. the jury was about to hear it. coming up, cara takes a gamble that could decide her fate. >> so i texted roger at 3:00, i said "i'll do it." saturdays happen. pain happens. aleve it. aleve is proven stronger and longer on pain than tylenol.

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>> reporter: cara ryan's defense was well under way even before the opening statements began. the strategy at least. her attorney, remember, had put cara through a couple of mock trials and discovered -- >> the majority of women convicted her, and the majority of men didn't. and the women's rationale was all emotionally based. they wanted to hear much more emotion in her. they wanted to hear her crying. >> reporter: this client is not like that. >> that's not her. it's just not how she is. >> reporter: so he worked hard to ensure there were mostly males in the jury. in florida, second-degree murders cases have six-person juries and he succeeded five of the six were men. >> we believed the men wouldn't be focused on the emotion but more on the facts. >> reporter: what else did you look for in the jury? >> gun owners. people that were not afraid to shoot someone if they came into their house unannounced. and almost every one of our jurors had a gun and was not afraid to use it.

>> reporter: once the trial began, he told those jurors that cara had no choice but to use her gun to defend herself, plain and simple. >> he attacks her, she says, "stop, never acted like this. you're raping me, stop." >> reporter: something else the defense tried to do -- persuade the jury that j.j. was out of control after seeing that text from cara's new boyfriend and came back to the house in a rage. >> he snapped. she defended herself. he snapped. >> reporter: those are the elements. you need to get a jury tonl believe he was capable of snapping -- >> correct. >> reporter: and she legitimately was in fear hear for life. >> correct. >> reporter: she wasn't angry and wanted revenge but was terrified. >> correct. >> reporter: so part of the strategy was put the victim on trial. you went after him pretty hard. you went after him for -- you call it essentially a drunk.

you talked about the oxycodone use. and you made it sound like he was, you know, a victoolcano ab to explode. >> there was no doubt as our expert said he was a chronic xanax and oxycodone user. >> reporter: right. for good reason. his injuries -- >> for good reason -- >> they were proscribed. >> as needed. three to four a day. that's a lot. we don't know when he was taking them. >> reporter: even though the medical examiner testified that j.j.'s blood showed low levels of alcohol and no trace of painkillers that night, fuderman claimed withdrawal set j.j. off. >> he was drinking, he was coming off oxy, he was coming off xanax. he was taking anti-depressants. he was filled with rage. he was confused. and all of these things could lead him to snap that night because that's what happened. he snapped. >> he had bad addictions.

he had bad sides to him. he wasn't a bad guy. >> reporter: but his friends, his family felt as if the dead guy is being dragged through the mud. >> sure. >> reporter: did you feel bad about it? >> i didn't want it to happen. i never wanted to go to court and air all of our dirty laundry. >> reporter: but now that she was here accused of murder, j.j.'s reputation was fair game, said her attorney. >> i think there was a lot of sides to j.j. that his best friends didn't know. >> reporter: including his cop buddies, said fuderman. cops who he charged with blind to anything but cara's alleged guilt and would do anything to prove it. >> it wasn't an investigation, it was a witch-hunt. they sprang up out of their beds like a church choir, and they met at that gate with pitchforks. >> reporter: why would they do that? >> they were his friends. they were his buddies, his brothers. >> i told the jury, the police are going to lie to you.

>> reporter: lie? as when the deputy said he read cara her rights in the patrol care, said fuderman. >> 15, 20 minutes. >> reporter: the deputy originally said it was during first 15 minutes. then he changed his story. >> and he said, "i no longer read miranda within 15 minutes. i read it in an hour and ten minutes later." >> reporter: she wasn't facing a camera at that point. >> correct. >> reporter: her attorney charged that the deputy change ed his story after finding the lip reader had been analyzing cara's words. the deputy said, no, he refreshed his memory by looking at the tape. fuderman wasn't buying it. >> he lied. >> reporter: that's when he put lucinda on the stand. she confirmed she never saw miranda respond to a miranda warning. she couldn't always tell what was said on the video, but fuderman had made the point. >> when you lie to a jury, when

your witness is lying, get on that stand, especially a police officer and lie, the jury's not going to forgive you. and he lloyd. >> reporter: maybe. the defense had to account for the prosecution's strongest evidence against cara -- her shifting versions, her many different stories about what happened. >> my story didn't change. it just got it out of sequence. he came in the door, he raped me, he was enraged. he came in the door and yelled at me. he left. he came back. it was just -- the sail thing, just a little -- same thing, just a little muddled. >> reporter: a little more than muddled. things happened at different times in different tellings, right? >> i just got things out of sequence. >> reporter: uh-huh. >> i was in shock. i was scared out of my mind. i had never seen him like that. >> reporter: at the trial, attorney fuderman had an expert offer this opinion -- >> trauma can affect how you remember things. sometimes a moment of

self-preservation can affect how you say things. >> reporter: but cara was consistent about one thing -- her claim that j.j. raped her. evidence to back that up -- the marks on her wrists said fuderman. and he called another expert to say they were fresh, hours old. couldn't have been caused by the new boyfriend. >> it was a quantum leap from the state to say the sex that she had 36 hours prior to the incident eed -- incident would leave fresh scratches or a bruise. >> reporter: the state said the marks could have been left by the hand cuffs, too. again, fuderman had made his point. now cara had to make a decision -- should she testify or not? >> i thought, i really don't want to testify. i'm scared, it's painful. and then roger said, it's totally up to you, but my gut says testify.

and i said no. >> reporter: but in the middle of the night she told us she changed her mind. >> so i texted it roger at 3:00, i said, "i'll do it." >> reporter: and she did. cara told the jury her story. and in the middle, she dropped a bombshell about j.j.> coming up, a stunning revelation. >> he left a suicide night. i don't know when he wrote it. >> reporter: what would it mean for the case? what's this?

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>> reporter: cara ryan had made the decision to testify. a risky decision. yet fuderman had confidence in his client. >> i told her, tell the truth, be yourself. don't be fake. don't put fake tears. if you are yourself and you do tell the truth, you can't go wrong. >> reporter: cara took the stand and tried to explain why there were differences in the way she told her story. she also explained to the jury

that she was smiling in those photos taken two days after she shot j.j. because her friend asked her to smile. then came the bombshell. >> he left a suicide note. >> reporter: when did he write that note? >> i don't know when he wrote it. >> reporter: her attorney said she made the discovery after going through more than 300 pieces of evidence. >> and i bursted out crying because i thought his last words to me were, "i'm going to kill you," and "you're [ bleep ] whore." his last words were sad. >> reporter: the letter read, "i love you more than i've loved anything or anyone in my entire life. i wish with all my soul that you felt the same way. please take care of megan. i'm sorry i failed you because i really did love you." was that a suicide note? >> i think so. >> reporter: that's a matter of opinion? >> i think when you say take care of my daughter, i did love you, take care of megan, all the

other insecurities in that note, the point of that note to me was there's another side of j.j. people didn't know. there were real issues there. >> reporter: but the idea that was a suicide note ludicrous, said the prosecution. could have been written years earlier, probably was, after all why would he ask cara to take care of megan? she was an adult living on her own when j.j. was killed. and j.j. was over the moon with his new life with a new woman. so those expressions of love, highly unlikely at the time of his death. anyway, with that it was over. cara had done all she could to make her case. what was it like when that jury went out? >> i knew it was in god's hands. there was nothing i could do. now, my attorney looked like somebody punched him in the gut. but i was just in eerie calm. >> reporter: megan was anything but calm as the jury

deliberated. >> it was nerve-racking. i was wondering what they were talking about. >> reporter: ron fowler was foreman of the jury. amy padrilla was the one and only woman. how did the prosecution was you to see her and her character? >> you know, manipulated and -- and a cold-blooded killer. >> reporter: would you agree with that? >> well, yeah. i guess maybe not quite to that degree. she's a teacher, she's never been in trouble before. >> reporter: as you listened to testimony, ron found cara's actions odd. >> she'd never cried when she was on the phone with the stepdaughter, i'm so sorry, i didn't mean to shoot him. that really bothered me through the case. >> reporter: they were less bothered, mind you, by the way cara's story of what happened kept changing. >> the testimony from some of the experts says that's not unusual. >> victims of assaults, physical assaults or sexual assaults act different than people who are contemplating murder.

>> reporter: score one for the defense in a series otherwise of strikeouts. its portrayal of j.j. as an opiate-addicted drunk for one. >> when they tried to paint him as being this, you know, drunk, on drugs and irrational, i didn't put a lot of basis to that. >> i always figure if someone is able to keep a job for ten years, they're doing something right. >> reporter: then lucinda the lip reader who said she didn't see evidence the deputy read cara her miranda rights in the cruiser, the defense called the deputy a liar. remember that? >> i think the defense was trying to do whatever they could to create doubt. that's their job. i didn't think it added much to, you know, the evidence that we were looking at. >> i didn't believe that the policeman did read the rights based upon his testimony. but later, they did when they really continued to ask questions. then they read the miranda

rights. >> reporter: another defense strikeout. the suicide note, if that's what it was, didn't add much for it either. >> i think just for me it spoke to his state of mind. >> reporter: did it seem like a suicide note to you, or was it more -- >> i read it several times. there's different meanings that you could put to it. >> i just didn't think it had a basis for what happened that night. >> reporter: finally, cara's risk i decision to testify. did it pay off? >> i was surprised that she testified, but it didn't alter my thought process before or after. >> reporter: so they gathered in the jury room. five men, one woman. two years worth of evidence and testimony to review and debate. then they had to decide who to believe and what mattered and what the evidence proved. >> it's a horrendous waiting moment. >> reporter: and it wasn't very many moments. the jury decided in just 90

minutes -- >> that usually means guilty. in that short period of time. >> your spirits rose. >> absolutely. >> i asked my attorney what that meant, he said you can't tell what they're going to do. >> when they came back quickly, i was petrified. >> reporter: the jury speaks. >> it was stone silence. all you heard was "ahh" from everyone. colonial penn can help. hi, i'm jonathan, a manager here at colonial penn life insurance company. and with coverage options starting at just $9.95 a month, you can get a whole life insurance plan

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we ka not tolerate any outbursts -- >> reporter: there is no overstating the palpable tension, the a flutter of the heart when a jury files in to pronounce the fate of another human being. cara ryan shot her ex, she could spend decades in prison, or she could walk free. this was the moment she'd find out. you're charged with second-degree murder. >> uh-huh. >> reporter: the jury walks back

into the room. what did it feel like to be you? >> all i could do is breathe. all i could do was just keep a stiff upper lip, hold my head high, be confident. >> reporter: some spectators watched on a closed circuit feed. a cell phone camera recorded it. the words that changed cara's life. >> as to the defendant in this case see the defendant is not guilty. >> reporter: not guilty. >> my first moment was, thank you to my attorney, roger. and his co-counsel. and then my next thought was to turn around and look at my mother and say, "mom, it's okay." >> reporter: that we need hardly tell you is certainly not what j.j.'s brother was doing or feeling. >> i said to myself, you're [ bleep ] kidding me. >> reporter: or his sister. >> there was stone silence and all you heard was, "ahh," from everyone. we were in shock, exactly. >> we were in shock. >> reporter: or his daughter,

megan. >> i didn't really believe that that's what i heard. and i didn't want to cause a scene. so i walked out, and the moment i hit the doors, i fell to the floor. i couldn't physically move anymore. >> reporter: it was just like it was when she heard he was dead, she said. >> heart shattered again. somebody who had hurt you for so long and then hurt you in the biggest way anybody ever could just won again. like she always did. >> reporter: so why did the jury acquit? in the end they said it boiled down to a single question -- did cara shoot j.j. in self-defense or rage? >> i don't think it was out of rage. i think it was out of fear. >> it was the sense of fear. sense of self-defense that he was angry, that he left and came back that still resonated with

me of the self-defense issue being pretty strong. >> reporter: amy had no doubt, she said. cara must have been assaulted. what evidence persuaded you of that? >> the marks on her arms and her entire demeanor at the time of the interviews, after the murder. she presented as a very scared victim of an assault. >> reporter: amy didn't believe those marks could have come from the kinky sex kara had with her new boyfriend. >> the evidence was presented that the marks were less than 24 hours old. >> reporter: nor did amy buy the prosecution's theory that cara got those marks from handcuffs in the police car. >> i believe the testimony that she was in fear of her life and she was defending herself, as she had been instructed by her -- >> reporter: by him. >> by her ex-husband. >> reporter: the jury was unanimous. cara shot j.j. in self-defense.

>> was there evidence enough to say that she did not act in self-defense? that's where none. us could come to that conclusion. >> reporter: cara's life is no longer on hold. last time we spoke she said she hoped to get back to teaching now that this ordeal was behind her. at the end of the interview, the woman who revealed little, motion to juries mock or real, finally did. what are you feeling right this second. >> i feel like -- i feel like jay's still with me. i think about him every day, and i wish things were different. i wish i could have saved him. i wish i could have done something differently. and i know this has caused a lot of pain for not just his family but my family. >> reporter: after the trial, j.j.'s daughter megan filed a wrongful death lawsuit against cara. in january, 2019, the parties reached a settlement. and while some terms were kept confidential, they publicly

agreed that j.j.'s death was in no way unlawful or intentional. as for lonnie longtow, she lives with the loss of j.j. every day. >> it never goes away, but we keep john alive with each other. the family and i are very close. i get to talk to megan every day. i get to see the things that he missed, misses, and hope that he's seeing them and he's proud of her. >> reporter: and megan, who in fact did get that job as a police dispatcher, is now trying to navigate a future without him. >> wish that it could be different. i just have to go forward with my life and live to make my dad very proud of what i've become. >> reporter: oh, i think he probably is.

>> i really hope so. i really hope so. i'm craig melvin. >> i'm natalie morales. >> and this is "dateline." >> oh, god, please. >> ma'am, okay. >> oh, god. >> ma'am. >> i just knew that she was gone. >> she was a bright young mom-to-be. >> she was beautiful. confident, strong. >> it was the smile that got me. >> moving on from a messy divorce jumping into a new romance. no one could believe it when they found her. >> they're saying it was a homicide. >> then police found something else. revealing recordings. >> everything changed like instantly. it's weird. >> brittany is essentially speaking from the grave.