a 3:00 a.m. knock at my door. they said, "your dad's been shot and he's been killed." i screamed.

the scariest thing that you will ever go through. my whole world crumbled. >> cara was the kind of teacher students just love. >> she was a rock star at her school. >> with the same man for 20 years, enjoying life together by the beach. >> the balcony was like our second living room, you can hear the waves on the shore. >> but she was all alone that night when, according to her, an intruder burst into her bedroom. >> i was scared to death. i didn't have any other choice. >> you shot him? >> i shot him. >> she said the man attacked her. >> he told me he was going to kill me. >> she'd been assaulted. she defended herself. >> so why did others call it murder? >> my very first words were, she set him up. >> cara's account kept changing. >> it hit me just how different all of these stories were and how unbelievable they were. >> lies. it's all lies. >> what really made cara pull that trigger? >> the rug was pulled out from underneath her. she was shocked.

>> and she was angry? >> yes. >> a jury would have to decide. >> i did what i did because i had to, not because i wanted to. >> it was night when it happened. indian rocks beach, gulf coast of florida. two blocks from the water. 10:05 p.m. quiet at that hour, save for the odd passing car and snatches of neighborhood chatter, carried on a cooling ocean breeze. there was a moon, almost full. cara ryan was in bed. all alone, in a small darkened room. and then, fear, searing as a heart attack. the dogs. >> they were growling. that's one of the things that made me feel so scared. >> someone was coming into her house. >> the door crashed open. >> you said the lights were off. >> they were. >> was it so dark you couldn't actually make out who this person was? >> it happened so fast, and i was so afraid.

>> she reached to the bedside table, opened the drawer, took out the gun. the one her ex-husband had given her. trained her how to use. aim for the mass, he'd always told her. aim for the chest. she heard the approaching footsteps from the front door to the bedroom. how many steps? >> like, 20. >> and then the shape in the bedroom doorway. the hand reaching toward the bed, reaching for her. so close. she closed her eyes. she pulled the trigger. was the shot fired a warning, just, stay out of my bedroom? >> i was aiming for whoever it was. that's what i was taught. you don't fire a warning shot. >> cara called 911. >> you shot him? >> i shot him. >> with a gun? >> my gun. >> okay. >> cara gripped the gun for dear life, terrified the man would come back.

>> you still have the gun? >> yes, i do. >> okay, ma'am, i'm getting help on the way. okay, when did this happen? >> just now. i was afraid. i was scared. i didn't have any other choice. you fire the gun. when you pick up a gun -- >> if he's coming at you, yeah. >> and he came into that room. >> so as he's coming in the room -- what, did he say anything? >> no. >> just was sort of coming in the room -- >> right. >> is he still there? >> i don't know. i think he went over to the neighbor's. >> okay, is your door locked? >> no. >> okay. >> i'm too scared to get up. >> in fact, the man had run

from her house and collapsed on the next door neighbor's doorstep, was lying there, bleeding. the neighbor dialed 911, too. >> he doesn't look very good. he's bleeding pretty bad. >> i understand. >> the neighbor was petrified, afraid of more gunfire, refused to open his door. >> i'm afraid to go outside. he's outside on my deck. >> and you don't feel comfortable going outside and grabbing him? >> no, no. >> i completely understand. >> peering out his window, the neighbor described the man's injuries. >> where is he bleeding from? >> all i can see, the way he's lying is his arm. >> and yes, it didn't look good. >> okay, but i do have the police already on the way. is he awake right now? >> doesn't look like it. >> okay. is he breathing? >> yeah. >> the first police cars arrived quickly, within a couple of minutes. >> i know you're scared, cara, but the police are there will and they're going to protect you, but i need you to go to them. >> the 911 operator told cara go outside to meet them, but leave the gun in the house. so she did. she put the gun down. but then, what was this? video from a deputy's dashcam shows it. they told her, put your hands up. and then, out on the street, they ordered her down on the ground, handcuffed her, put her in the back of a patrol car. what was it like out in the police car when they took you out there? did you believe that they thought you were a victim or a perpetrator? >> i think when i was greeted by a woman with a rifle and

three other deputies with their guns drawn, was ordered to my knees and handcuffed, and put in the back, i felt like -- i didn't really know what was going on. >> a night of terror and a victim who suddenly felt accused. but is that really what happened? no simple tale, this. no, the question that greeted officers of the pinellas county sheriff's office was not simple at all. maybe cara ryan was a victim who defended herself. and maybe she was something else altogether. >> what i'm asking you for is consent for us to go in there. okay? obviously it's a crime scene right now. >> what really happened in this little house by the beach, in paradise? coming up -- cara was about to tell her story in greater detail, but it would only raise more questions. >> i thought maybe i had grazed

him. i said, why isn't the ambulance leaving and deputy vaughn said, he doesn't need an ambulance. and i thought, oh, [bleep], now he's really going to be mad. >> wait, did cara know the man she'd shot? who was she talking about? when "dateline" continues. my mind was in a good place. but my body was telling a different story. i felt all people saw were my uncontrolled movements. some mental health meds can cause tardive dyskinesia, or td, and it's unlikely to improve without treatment. ingrezza is a prescription medicine to treat adults with td movements in the face and body. it's the only treatment for td that's one pill, once-daily, with or without food. ingrezza 80 mg is proven to reduce td movements in 7 out of 10 people. people taking ingrezza can stay on their current dose of most mental health meds. don't take ingrezza if you're allergic to any of its ingredients. ingrezza may cause serious side effects including sleepiness. don't drive, operate heavy machinery, or do other dangerous activities

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back seat of the police car. not arrested but confined. strangely, perhaps, the police hadn't taken her cell phone. she struggled to get to it, was able to make a call or two. as she wrestled with the handcuffs behind her. and wondered why she, of all people, was in this predicament. >> it was bizarre, surreal. it's still as if it didn't happen. >> it seemed so safe here, so perfect. two blocks from powdery white beaches. truly a paradise.

>> i love the beach. and when i found the house, it just took one second to look down the road and see the gulf, and the other way to see the intracoastal and i knew i had found my home. >> she shared this lovely place with john joseph rush. j.j. evenings on the balcony sipping drinks, inhaling the salty ocean air. >> the balcony was like our second living room. and we often lit a fire and enjoyed the nights out there where you can hear the waves on the shore. >> jj was the sort of guy any woman could love. 20 years, they were together. >> he could be the life of the party. he was really happy go lucky and he always put on a smiling face and he didn't want anybody to think he wasn't a nice guy. >> and he wanted to please you. >> and he wanted to please me. yes. and he was a great friend. he loved his friends. he loved his daughter. he was very loving. he was very generous, very kind.

>> but now cara was in a police car, no j.j. to protect her. what a strange place for a law abiding middle class person to find herself. a high school journalism teacher, for heaven's sake. >> i loved it. >> what'd you love about it? >> the kids. they can be very brilliant. and that's one of the best things about teaching. close your classroom and there's no adults. >> here's a fellow teacher, debbie rein. >> she was a rock star at her school. >> then one day, more than two decades ago, a st. petersburg police officer helped with a class project and they both realized they had known each other since they were kids. that was j.j. rush. >> and we spent that whole night just getting to know each other again. and then we started dating. >> was it a kind of flushed feeling, like love at first sight kind of feeling, or -- >> it wasn't a giddy feeling, but i did notice by the end of the night, instead of standing far away from hitch, i was standing really close to him and i kind of felt like -- he's the one. >> and a couple of years later they married. cara would welcome megan, j.j.'s daughter from his first marriage, as part of her new

family. >> she was icing on the cake. i was so happy to have a man who had a little girl. >> it can be complicated. >> it wasn't always easy. but i loved her like my own. >> but into every life, a little rain. eight years into marriage there was a bump. a big one. >> i had an affair. >> with the principal at her school. that's when cara and j.j. separated and later divorced. >> he blamed himself for my affair and for our breakup. for the year that we were separated and the year that we were divorced, he pursued me relentlessly. >> blamed himself? why? >> for not being there. for being out in a bar drinking or wherever he was. and leaving me to keep the home fires burning. >> but they weren't apart for long. about a year after the divorce, they had a chance encounter on the beach. >> and i had just broken up with somebody. and i said, "you know, god, if i'm going to find a nice man, he's going to be on the beach with a dog." and i look over and there's his dog and his daughter, and i thought, "god, you know, that's not really funny." >> j.j. must have been happy to see her. two days later, she was surprised to find him in her driveway. >> and i said, "what are you doing here? " and he said, "i

think we should get back together." and that was it. we got back together. >> they never remarried, but once back together, they called each other husband and wife, they wore wedding rings, they shared bank accounts. wasn't perfect, of course. what life is? after 17 years on the force, a serious car accident left j.j. in too much pain to work on patrol. so he retired and became an investigator for the medical examiner's office. but things change. their relationship was not like the old days anymore. and then finally, j.j. told cara he was moving out for good. it was the day after valentine's day 2015. >> that was a surprise. he had just turned 45. and he woke up one day and he said, "i need some space. i need to find myself." and i thought, what the -- >> this came out of the blue? >> out of the blue. i thought, "what the heck is going on? " >> did you think he

was -- i mean, an affair or something? >> i suspected. i left and went to my sister's house that night and i said, he needs space, have your space, i'll leave. but when i came back the next day, he had packed almost everything, which was totally out of character because we had worked on our problems. >> in fact, j.j. had met someone. a police sergeant named lonnie lancto. they'd been friends for years, but became closer when j.j.'s relationship with cara seemed, to him anyway, to hit a dead end. how was he feeling about all this? >> he was nervous about how she was going to react. he knew that she'd be upset and and angry and -- but at the same time, he was so excited. >> anyway, cara seemed to be moving on, too. with another police officer. a steamy relationship. march 2015, three weeks after j.j. moved out is when it happened. the night of panic and terror. and now cara was sitting in a police car. what was she thinking?

here's what she told us. she was wondering, she said, why it was taking so long for paramedics to treat the intruder she shot. >> i thought maybe i had grazed him. and when i got into the cruiser i said, what's going on? why didn't -- why isn't the ambulance leaving? and deputy vaughn said, he doesn't need an ambulance. and i thought, oh, [bleep], now he's really going to be mad. now i'm really in trouble. >> what do you mean, "now he's really going to be mad? " >> well, i had fired a gun and called 911. he could have lost his job. >> lose his job? he's going to be mad? oh yes. cara ryan knew who her intruder was. knew him very well indeed. coming up -- >> so embarrassing. i had never sent suggestive text messages, let alone body parts. >> cara shares an eyebrow raising new detail about what happened in her bedroom. >> it was mortifying. >> what she claims set the intruder off. >> that's when he became violent. >> when "dateline" continues.

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scene now on this tiny street in indian rocks beach. the street lit up with flashing lights, police lines drawn, crime scene investigators and detectives arriving. >> my name is john syers, okay. i'm with the sheriff's office. >> lead detective john syers and his partner a.j. scarpati introduced themselves. asked cara, who did she shoot? did she know him? without hesitation she said -- >> my ex-husband.

>> who do you -- >> jay. >> i'm sorry. what do you call him? >> jay. >> jay? >> j.j. >> okay. >> it's j.j. rush. i call him jay. >> that's right, her ex-husband, j.j. rush. small world. detective syers knew j.j. had run into him at crime scenes. jj was a medical examiners investigator. but why would cara shoot him? her answer was right there in the 911 call. >> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> he raped you? >> uh-huh. i shot him. >> rape? but that's all she said on the topic until about two hours later, when she told the deputy she needed medical attention. >> i need to see a doctor. i've been hurt. >> it was detective syers'job to sort through it all and he began by showing cara a bit of kindness. >> i went over and took the handcuffs off of her. >> she must have been relieved to have that happen. >> um -- i mean, her demeanor at that time was just questioning, i guess. i didn't take her as being under duress or relieved or anything like that.

>> she must have seemed pretty upset. she just shot her ex-husband? >> not unduly. >> really? >> no. >> mind you, according to cara, as she sat here in the car, she didn't know how badly hurt j.j. was. so, you thought he was alive still? >> absolutely. >> in fact, j.j. died rather quickly. a fate that had a certain irony. it was he who gave cara the gun, taught her how to shoot to kill in case the occasion ever arose. was this an appropriate occasion? detective syers, charged with finding out, understood he had a problem. learned that from the deputy who put cara in his car. >> we were told that she had used her telephone. >> that is, her cell phone, the one they failed to take away. big mistake. who did she call? what did she say? syers knew the patrol car was equipped with a camera and microphone to record any conversations. so -- >> i naturally asked, "was this recorded? " and i was told, no, it wasn't. >> there was video, just no audio. for the first hour and a half,

cara was in that patrol car. deputy forgot to turn it on. mistake number two. a rather important one, as it would turn out. anyway, they kept her in the car for almost three hours as they gathered evidence. a deputy finally took her to police headquarters, where the detectives made arrangements for an examination at a rape crisis center. later, they looked at the tapes of cara, recorded during that drive to the station. did she appear to be emotionally battered or anything? >> i mean, if you watch the in-car camera, she's just kind of casually talking with him about being in the law enforcement community and knowing different people. >> yaz was on my husband's softball team. >> it was just kind of, you know, general conversation.

she didn't seem so upset in that video. >> it was around 2:00 a.m. at police headquarters when cara revealed why j.j. was at her place that night, even though he'd left her, moved out, three weeks earlier. it was quite a story. remember, cara met a new man after the breakup with j.j. also a sheriff's deputy, his name was scott. scott holderbaum. for a week or so, you were seeing this guy. you were having some -- it was fun. >> it was fun. i was giddy. i was like a school kid and i -- my teacher in the room next to me, i'd run over there and say, "he just texted me, what do i say? " i hadn't really been on a date in 20 years. >> the day of the shooting, cara texted scott a very explicit text, complete with intimate selfie, inviting him to come over for a tryst. >> so embarrassing. i had never sent suggestive text messages, let alone body parts, it was mortifying. it would be sad if it wasn't so tragic. but it is tragic. >> -- but he couldn't come, is that what happened? >> oh, scott was at work.

he worked from 7:00 at night until 7:00 in the morning. i was joking around, why don't you just skip work and come over. >> so, you knew he couldn't. you were just teasing him. >> yeah. >> so, she said, she sent the very same x-rated selfie and a similiar invitation to j.j. and j.j., though he was seeing someone else, came right over. would he have thought of it as breakup sex? maybe a one last go around with my girl. >> yeah, we're all nostalgic. there's a country song, "we don't have to be lonely tone." you know, and then tomorrow we'll go our separate ways. >> cara told detectives that as she and j.j. were in bed together, he phone kept beeping. incoming text messages. chirp chirp. >> yeah. so i ignored it. >> it was scott. >> it went off again. and i told him, "just ignore it. just ignore it." and he leaned over and he grabbed the phone and he opened it and he said, "who the hell is scott holderbaum? " >> that, cara told police, is when j.j. saw she'd sent the same picture, the same invitation to both of

them. >> so, he saw, kind of like, the text message can voer sags, or whatever you call it? >> i think he saw a photograph, i don't know. and that's when he became violent. he was angry. he assaulted me, told me he was going to kill me, told me he was going to kill scott. >> said that at the time he saw this stuff? >> "you'll both be dead by the morning light. you're an effing whore." and he was just furious. >> you say he assaulted you. what, he raped you? >> he did things against my will. yes. >> then, cara told the detectives, j.j. dressed and drove off, and she called him six times, to try to get him to calm down. >> i called him right away and i told him how sorry i was, and how it's not serious with scott, and that i was going to call it off. >> and a few minutes later, when he came storming back into the house, cara said she knew exactly who it was. >> i heard him come through the door and he told me he was going to kill me or he was going to make it to where nobody would ever want me again and he came in the room and that's when i grabbed the gun.

>> a story which, as you'll see, would be rather important later. after they heard it, the detectives sent cara to the rape crisis center. but the results there? only raised more questions. and something she said, while there, would have them wondering -- was cara a rape victim or a woman scorned? whose fury ended in murder? coming up -- cara changes her story, claiming she didn't know it was j.j. coming into her house. just a moment. you were with this guy night and day in bed, intimate, hearing all his grunts, listening to the way he walks

-- >> right. >> for 20 years. >> right. >> and you didn't recognize who it was coming through the door? when "dateline" continuese.

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what's happening. the january six committee issued a subpoena to former president donald trump, saying he, personally, quote, orchestrated, and oversaw, a multi part effort to overturn the 2020 presidential election. the committee has set a date of november 4th for documents, on november 14th for deposition. trump's former advisor, steve bannon, sentenced to four months in prison for refusing to cooperate with the january 6th committee. he remains free pending his appeal. now, back to dateline. hi >> it was the middle of the night when j.j. rush's daughter,

meghan, was awakened from a deep sleep. >> 3:00 a.m. knock at my door from the detectives. >> what's that like? >> the scariest thing that you will ever go through. and they said, your dad's been shot and he's been killed. i said -- i screamed, obviously, and it was terror and loss. it's not something any 21-year-old wants to hear at 3:00 in the morning. >> meghan was not the only one assaulted with the news that night. >> i was called that night. >> and in lonnie lancto's case, a particular remorse -- a regret for a lifetime. lonnie was recovering from surgery just then, and earlier that day, j.j. called, offered his company, his help. and she said thanks, but no she was going to sleep. you must have gone over that in your mind a million times. >> i live with it every day. i take comfort in the fact that the last words we had to each other were i love you and i love you more.

those weren't the last words that they had with each other. i guarantee you that. >> she means j.j. and cara, of course. so, why did he go to her and what happened? around 6:00 a.m., cara returned to the pinellas county sheriff's office from the rape crisis center. she was put in an interview room while detectives reviewed the rape report. it was not conclusive. did they find any, you know, any of the classic symptoms of a violent sexual stault? >> none were notated, no. >> however, the report did note bruising on cara's hip. was it possible to determine how that bruising got to be there? >> that original nurse thought that that bruising might of been from the incident of the night. when it was examined later by another doctor, they determined that the bruising was days older. >> she said that he held her wrists while he sexually assaulted her and therefore left marks. >> the examination didn't notate anything with her wrists. >> mind you, photos, as you can see, did show a red mark. but the detectives said that was most likely from the handcuffs, which she twisted

around as she tried to make cell phone calls. or maybe she got those marks having sex with her new boyfriend. cara told them it was pretty wild -- >> sex that i haven't even thought about since college. >> the detectives looked at text messages between cara and her new boyfriend sent a few days earlier. >> well, they had text messages back and forth. >> tie me up, tie me down. >> talked about putting certain type of lotion and bite marks or bruises, and they talked about handcuffs. >> the injuries on your wrists, the text from him. he said he would bring over handcuffs again and again leave some marks. >> i said, are you bringing your handcuffs? >> well, and he said, get prepared to have some more bruises.

>> marks of passion, i think he said, yeah. >> you like marks of passion? >> i like passionate sex. >> so what did cara think about the rape crisis center's inconclusive report? they did a rape kit and they didn't find any evidence of rape. >> yes, they did. they did. it showed -- well, it showed sexual contact. >> uh-huh. >> didn't show there wasn't a rape. >> while cara was at the rape crisis center, the detectives received new information from the crime scene. such as, first responders believed the house lights had pretty much all been on when whatever happened happened. remember, cara said it was dark in the house, but -- >> once we gathered a little bit more evidence from the detectives working the crime scene, then we did get definitely more pointed in our question and more direct. >> and then something odd

happened. cara changed her story. remember, she told 911, my ex-husband raped me. i shot him. >> breaking into your home. >> but now? she said she didn't know who was coming into the house. >> somebody was in my home, whether it was jay or jack the ripper. i was scared. somebody came in the house unannounced. >> could have been j.j. or it could have been jack the ripper? really? i mean, did -- what did you think of that? >> she thought her story, you know, needed to be embellished. >> i'm going to ask you very, very bluntly and very honestly, okay? >> okay. >> did the rape occur? >> it did. >> let me ask you this point blank. did you know that was john coming through the door, and did you shoot him purposely? >> no, i did not. i would not shoot john purposely. >> but you shot that person purposely, correct? >> in that moment. i was scared. >> you were scared, why? >> i had an emotional night. i didn't know what was happening, and you know what? i just -- i wish i'd never gotten that gun. >> talking with us, she defended this second story, that she didn't know who the intruder was and assumed it

could be a stranger. you were in the middle of a big fight. >> he wouldn't have come -- >> a breakup fight. >> he wouldn't have come back. >> he's coming back around to talk to you. he wants to clear some things up. >> he would've said that on the phone. >> so, as he's coming in the room, what -- did he say anything? >> no. >> just sort of coming in the room -- >> right. >> and you shot him. but you saw who it was. >> didn't see who it was, and i was so scared -- >> hang on a second. >> and nervous. >> just a moment. you were with this guy night and day, in bed, intimate, hearing all his grunts, listening to the way he walks -- >> right. >> for 20 years. >> right. >> and you say you didn't recognize who it was coming through the door? >> no. i was scared out of my mind. >> cara said it was only when she heard j.j.'s voice that she knew who it was. what happened right after you shot him? >> that's when i heard him say, oh [ bleep ].

so that's when i figured it was him. >> so which was it? my ex-husband raped me, i shot him, or, i shot a stranger, or, was it a third version of events? this one filled with stories about j.j. >> he had a dark side. >> yes. cara had a lot to say about her recently departed ex, but was it true? coming up -- cara calls one behavior of j.j.'s disturbing and downright compulsive. >> there were days where he could go from sun down to sun up. >> why some say j.j. was spinning out of control. >> there is no way to predict where the spiral would end. either a danger to himself or someone else. >> when "dateline" continues.

>> j.j. -hi, dr. rick. it's julie. -[ gasps ] that's me. just leaving you a voicemail. my number is 618-437-7425. okay. can anyone tell me what julie did wrong there? you got to repeat the number. i mean, no one's ever gonna get it the first time. -nope. -didn't leave her last name. no, the -- the phone tells you who called. she didn't mention a good time to call her back. how am i supposed to know when to call her back? no. she just shouldn't have left a voicemail. 9 out of 10 times, a text will do. progressive can't save you from becoming your parents, but we can save you money when you bundle home and auto with us.

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this sucks. well if you just switch maybe you don't have to be vampires. whoa... -okay, yikes. oh sorry, i wasn't thinking. we, uh, don't really use the v word. that's kind of insensitive. we prefer pro-lunar. yes, much better. >> j.j. rush was dead. his ex-wife cara ryan killed

him. in self-defense, she said. and now she set about telling the detectives about the real j.j. same thing she told us. not a pretty picture, she said. >> right after we got married, the compulsive gambling became the big issue. and there were days where he could go from sundown to sunup. and there's no windows in the casino, so, he would just lose all track of time. >> did you go with him? >> i did, and i didn't like it. >> cara was a school teacher, remember. and one day, she said, she got a nasty letter from the florida department of education. >> the state was going to pull my teaching certificate, because he hadn't paid my student loans. >> he paid the bills in the early days of their marriage, she said. >> so, i started looking at the accounts, thinking, what's going on here? i don't understand. >> what was going on, cara said, was they were broke. >> i felt really betrayed and lied to and hurt.

>> so, she said, she laid down the law. took over the financial stuff. and told j.j. he had to get help for his gambling addiction. >> but you know, a gambling addiction, it's probably as hard or harder to kick than smoking or drinking or -- >> it's very hard. but i loved him. i made vows. i made a commitment. so, as long as he was willing to go to gamblers anonymous, then i was willing to support him. and we went to marriage counseling. that helped. >> cara told detectives that for five years j.j. didn't gamble at all and they were happy. but -- >> you know, i always worried that the gambling would come back up and financial situations would happen again. >> and then in 2004, j.j.

had that that bad crash in his police car. >> when we got there very shortly thereafter, he had an actually, like, a hole in the top of his head. >> bob jones is a former st. petersburg police officer and j.j.'s good friend. >> his knees and feet and everything else got hung up around the steering wheel. then, from that point on, multiple back problems, multiple back surgeries. >> and that, said cara, is when -- >> he started drinking heavily, all day, every day. >> at home recovering? >> yes. >> depressed. >> depressed, yeah. >> he recovered eventually, she said, and took that job as an investigator at the medical examiners office. but he was in pain most of the time. >> he kept drinking. and that's when he started using the oxycodone for the knee pain. >> sure. that was prescribed, right? >> yes. but it became chronic. and he was unpredictable when he was on it and off it. >> cara told detectives j.j. liked his work with the medical examiners office, but the horrific crime scenes he witnessed took their toll. so much so he developed ptsd. >> one example, the last one -- a man threw his 7-year-old girl off a bridge.

and that was his case. i heard him pick up the phone in the middle of the night and said, who's the next of kin, where's the little girl's body? but it was just -- a very >> the day before cara shot him, j.j. went to a therapist, a man named bob greene. he had also been their marriage counselor. and so, of course, the police talked to mr. greene. and he told them that day, j.j. was in tears. >> he was spiraling out of control. there is no way to predict in that situation where the spiral would end. either a danger to himself or somebody else. >> where the sort of burdens of what he did for a living and that his situation in life had become too big for him? >> yes. >> i think a part of him didn't want to be in this world anymore. >> but he was supposedly kind of happy. >> that was the face he put on. >> you don't believe that? >> i know he wasn't happy. drinking and the oxy and the physical pain and the mental pain, the post-traumatic stress

disorder. he was struggling. >> the therapist, greene, went even further when he offered police a remarkable theory, that j.j. knew if he barged in on cara unannounced, she would shoot. and shoot to kill. >> my opinion has always been that it was a suicide. >> how could it possibly be a suicide? >> because he had trained cara that if someone comes through the front door unannounced -- you pick up a gun, you close your eyes and you shoot. >> to a lot of people, it would seem a stretch. >> he had not announced he was coming over. someone came through the front door and she did as she was trained to do. >> detectives weren't buying greene's idea. >> it's kind of a ridiculous theory. >> so, cara's version? that without her to help him, j.j. was depressed, suffering from ptsd, a suicidal, gambling, alcohol and oxycodone addicted man, who, in the days after he left her, fell off all of his

wagons. and fell into a rage when he saw she had a new love. the detectives were skeptical. >> when it comes to being derogatory towards j.j. and she has all the specifics we need, but when it comes to explaining the rape or the attack, then things become very fuzzy. she folds up into the corner, starts hiding her face, just a different persona altogether. >> so what was the truth about j.j.? >> she was happier than he's been ever, that i can remember, and all of his friends will tell you the same thing. >> who was right? and what did it say about the events in this little seaside bedroom? coming up -- >> i asked john to help me and he was reluctant at first and then he finally helped med, but when he did, he said, don't tell cara. >> a very different picture

emerges of j.j., as a man very much under cara's thumb. >> he was very controlled. he couldn't go out to lunch without bringing home a receipt. >> a man ready to make a change. >> he was dead-set on not being with her anymore. he was done. >> when "dateline" continues. hi, my name is tony cooper, and i'm going to tell you about exciting medicare advantage plans that can provide broad coverage and still may save you money on monthly premiums and prescription drugs. with original medicare you are covered for hospital stays and doctor office visits but you have to meet a deductible for each, and then you're still responsible for 20% of the cost. next, let's look at a medicare supplement plan. as you can see, they cover the same things as original medicare, and they also cover your medicare deductibles and coinsurance. but they often have higher monthly premiums and no prescription drug coverage. now, let's take a

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she was defending her life? >> not at all. he wasn't a violent person. she has -- she has no other defense but to tell you that. >> private lives, as we all know, can hide cesspools of stories best left untold. but no secrets in a murder investigation. the detectives had to know, what was the nature of cara and j.j.'s 20-year relationship. for example, that chance meeting on the beach years earlier when they were divorced. cara said it just happened. the detectives said she made it happen, tracking him down to an out of the way beach. >> she actually told us, you know, i'm walking on this beach that's nowhere near my house and i say, the next man i walk into -- >> he's the one. >> yeah. and it ends up being j.j. it wasn't -- >> maybe in the movies, i guess, that might happen. >> calculating, said the detectives. and in keeping. >> a lot of the description to us of their relationship was she was more controlling. >> and especially, without exception -- >> she controlled the money. >> when j.j. retired from the police

department, he collected a pension as well as his salary at the medical examiner's office. but he never saw any of the money. both checks went directly into a bank account controlled only by cara. >> all he did was deposit his checks. he couldn't tell you how much they even were. he was very controlled. he couldn't go out to lunch without bringing home a receipt. >> if he wanted to help his daughter meghan, he had to ask cara. >> like, i once needed help with a deposit for my phone and he had to call and have a conversation over $100, just to help me out. and so -- he was like, yeah, cara said okay. and it's like, okay, thanks. >> meghan's mom, and j.j.'s first wife, sherry tribby, said it was always like that with cara. >> once when meghan was in elementary school, i didn't have the money to buy her shoes. so, i asked john so help me and he was reluctant, reluctant at first and then he finally helped me but when he did, he said, don't tell cara. >> but cara said, she had her

reasons. >> he couldn't have his own bank account. he couldn't have credit cards. he couldn't have an account with me off of it. >> that, she said, was because of his gambling addiction. but addiction? j.j.'s family said he liked to go to the track and play cards, but he was far from being addicted. if he went out somewhere with somebody and bought something, i mean, would you need to see a receipt? >> he wanted to give me the receipts. he wanted it to be where i didn't have to worry. >> okay. >> he didn't want me to look over his shoulder. so he put his receipts on the counter for me. >> did you have concerns about him seeing certain friends and certain members of his family?

>> there were definitely people that he was more likely to gamble with and people that just didn't understand the addiction. >> right. >> and they thought i was being mean or -- >> controlling. >> controlling or manipulating. >> secrets. to the world outside the family, cara was, as she herself said, a like the time meghan wanted to apply for a job as a police dispatcher, and felt she needed a new dress for the interview. cara got wind of it. >> she said, oh, well, you'll never make it through that anyway.

>> that's about the time j.j. started planning his exit. as he whispered to meghan. >> he was secretly opening up his new bank account and he changed everything so that nothing was going into her account anymore. and then, the time that she started to notice was when he was like, "okay, it's time to get out now." >> that sounds like somebody who has made a firm and final decision. >> he was dead-set on not being with her anymore. he was done. and i was proud of him. >> so he'd left her. taken up with another woman. cut off a substantial income. ended her ability to control him. sounded like a motive, said the detectives. >> the rug was pulled out from underneath her. she was -- she was shocked -- dismay. >> and she was angry? >> the shock turns to anger at some point. >> and there was j.j., apparently happy, getting his own place, his own car.

had a girlfriend who loved him. bought his daughter that dress. >> i think it was the first moment of being, like, freedom, i guess. where he felt like i can -- i can actually do this. and when you give me the receipt, i can throw it away. >> did he succumb to gambling, alcohol and painkillers after he left cara? no, said lonnie lancto. not even close. >> with john, none of those things existed. and he certainly had ample opportunity to drink to excess, to gamble to excess, to be angry, to be upset. and he -- >> he was free to do whatever he wanted now? >> yes, absolutely he was. >> we reminded lonnie of what cara and the therapist had told us. that he was in a downward spiral, getting worse and worse by the day. that he was actually suicidal. did you see any evidence of that? >> absolutely not. he was not suicidal. he was happier than he's been -- ever that i can remember. >> i was excited. and it was just, like, cool, you know, like, this is -- this is the dad i want all the time. i gt to see, like, my real dad.

and it was great. sorry. >> that's okay. >> i've just never seen him so happy as he was. >> happy for the three weeks after he moved out, and then he was dead. what was a homicide detective to make of all that? coming up -- >> i told him to take the guns out of the house, because that's how much i did not trust her. >> i knew in my heart that this was not going to be an accident. >> yeah. >> a startling theory of what really happened the night of the shooting. >> my very first words were, it was a setup. she set him up. >> when "dateline" continues. severe eosinophilic asthma that can mean less oral steroids.

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detectives all night long.

admitted she shot j.j. rush, her man of 20 years. but it wasn't until 10:00 the next morning, as she was finishing up her last taped statement that detective syers gave her the news they'd held back all night. j.j. was dead. >> why wait so long? >> i believe she knew all along he was dead. but for the nine hours and 50 minute she was with us, she never let on that she knew he was deceased or asked if he was dead. >> i believe she knew right away she thought he was deceased, never asked how he was or anything. >> well, how did she react when you told her he was dead? >> no reaction. it was just a very flat, emotionless -- affect. >> in fact, remember those phone calls cara made from the police car when the camera didn't record audio? later, police retrieved a voice mail she left for a friend. in it, cara appears to know j.j.

may be seriously hurt, and feared she was in deep trouble. >> jan, it's cara. i need your help. please call me, i think i hurt john. the ambulance hasn't left. i'm scared. >> the day after police sent cara home, she consulted an attorney named roger futerman, a british born, american educated lawyer who flies the union jack outside his clearwater, florida, office. >> when i first heard the facts from miss ryan i didn't think they were gonna charge her. >> you know, from the defendant the facts are always a little different. >> i believed her. she seemed very believable. >> cara and her attorney waited to see what would come next. and meanwhile, detectives continued their investigation. one thing that struck them was the reaction of j.j.'s family and friends. daughter meghan. >> i said, "was it her? " and they said, "was it who? " i said, "was it cara? " and they said, "yes." and my whole world crumbled.

>> girlfriend lonnie lancto. >> my very first words were, "it was a setup. she set him up." >> j.j.'s older brothers rick and bill rush. >> i told him to take the guns out of the house,'cause that's how much i did not trust her. >> my first words were, "that [bleep]." right out of my mouth without even hesitation, because i knew in my heart that this was not gonna be an accident. >> strong words. and then the detectives talked to the next door neighbor. >> the next door neighbor did tell us that j.j. said that he was scared she would shoot him. >> huh. "i'm gonna break up with her. i'm afraid she might shoot me, " as, either as a reaction to the breakup, or something of that sort? >> right. >> that was the day before j.j. moved out. >> the gun went off. i shot him. >> but there was one person's

words detectives kept going over and analyzing. it was cara ryan's own words. they listened carefully to the stories she told, and compared them. >> we went back to the drawing board, and wrote out all of her statements. what they were, how they changed over time. and that was really when it kind of hit me just how different all of these stories were, and how unbelievable they were. >> seeing them on paper. there were, said the detectives, four main stories. the first, what she told 911 and the first responding officers. >> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> okay, when did this happen? >> just now. he came in and he raped me and i took my gun and i shot him. >> shot him while or after he raped her? they asked her that as she sat in the patrol car. at this point the audio was turned on. >> he raped me. got on top of me and he held me down. at this point i had the gun. >> and then what happened? >> and then i fired the gun. >> where was he? >> standing over me, on the bed. >> a second version emerged in

the interview room. cara said j.j. raped her and left. but when he came back she heard and recognized his voice threatening her before she shot him. >> and he told me that he was gonna kill me, but he was gonna wait for scott to get off work and he was gonna kill scott, or he was gonna make it to where nobody would ever want me again. and he came in the room and that's when i grabbed the gun. >> what exactly did you do? >> as he came in the door, i don't remember. i -- i just -- the gun went off, i shot him. >> then at the rape crisis center, another version implying an accidental shooting. cara quoted as saying, "he grabbed her, and the gun went off." now she is telling the rape counselor that they were struggling over the gun? what, during this alleged sexual attack? >> she's told me, you know, he raped her. she shot him but never said anything about him grabbing the gun or anything until she speaks with the rape counselor. >> finally, version number four. cara didn't really know who came barging into her house.

she was simply scared and fired. >> somebody was in my house that i didn't expect to be in it. >> but see how you're explaining this now to me? cara, you're telling me the condition he was in, what -- what jay had done, what -- what jay had threatened to do. but then it goes to someone was in my house. i -- i mean, it -- it can't be both. did you think this was jay or did you think this was a masked marauder breaking -- >> i thought -- >> -- into your home? >> i was going to die. >> what made you think that? >> somebody was in my home. whether it was jay or jack the ripper, i was scared. >> there were more variations. the door was locked, or it

wasn't. j.j. would always call her before he came over, but this time didn't. the detectives counted them all up. cara's versions of what happened in this tiny bedroom. they got to ten, ten different stories. as you looked at those different stories, what did you think you were dealing with here? >> if you are in a situation that calls for self-defense, and if you lie about the circumstances, then that tells me that you weren't justified in what you were doing. otherwise why do you need to keep changing the story? >> no question in their minds, said the detectives. cara murdered j.j. they arrested her. the sheriff made the announcement. >> so i believe this is a domestic related homicide and cara ryan was acting out because she was losing control over him. >> when i watched the press conference, i was crying my eyes out. >> fellow teacher debbie rein didn't believe what they were

saying about cara. >> i believe in her. and so a couple people said to me, "really? you believe her? " i go, "yeah. why wouldn't i? " sad when, you know, people don't know the facts. >> cara was now in the hands of deputies at the county jail, charged with second degree murder. she was facing a possible life sentence for killing j.j. rush. coming up, cara's defense embarks upon a surprising strategy. >> we got a lip reader. >> you got a lip reader? when "dateline" continues. fire department. there's nothing like hitting the waves. but with my moderate-to-severe eczema it hasn't always been easy,... ...since my skin was so irritated and itchy... ...and even worse with all my gear on.

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in prison for shooting her ex-husband j.j. rush. but even after hearing the charge, cara was convinced it would all go away. >> i thought it was ridiculous. i was waiting any day for them to realize they had no case. >> her attorney roger futerman said he too was surprised that cara was charged. >> i knew from minute one there was no motive. and there was no -- >> what do you mean there's no motive? >> i saw no motive in this case. >> come on. it's a breakup of marriage. that's when murders occur. >> i know. >> you know, the guy is taking his income away. he's walked out on her.

>> i -- i know -- >> you know, he's seeing another woman. >> but when i looked at everything i said, "they don't have a motive here. and then the helpful were in green. >> futerman asked cara how to make sense of these color coded differences. >> i asked her, "you know, how on earth do we get this? how do i get around this? " and she just said they're truthful without thinking, without planning. she said, "they're all true. i just got some of the sequences wrong." so, okay. >> that, said futerman, is because cara was in shock and had been questioned on and off for nearly ten hours. >> it's certainly a very logical explanation for some inconsistencies in this sequence of events. >> still so many stories. maybe, thought futerman, he could find a way to reduce the number of cara's stories a future jury would hear. remember that deputy who failed to record audio when cara was in the police car?

the deputy said that's when he read cara her miranda warning. her right to remain silent and have an attorney. but did he? >> there is absolutely zero doubt in my mind that miranda was never read. >> and if cara wasn't read her rights, then that statement would be thrown out. a jury would never hear it. so there was a hearing. the prosecutor questioned the deputy. >> did you read her her miranda warning? >> i did. >> how long had she been in the patrol car when you did that? >> about 15 minutes. >> and here's how the deputy said cara responded. >> her comment was, "yes, i understand." >> but cara swore that never happened. >> absolutely not. >> who was right? that's when futerman got a big idea. >> we got a lip reader. >> you got a lip reader? >> we got a lip reader. i was looking at this video and i started thinking. i said, "if he so-called read

miranda, even though the sound's not on, if we get a lip reader we're going to be able to tell if she answered like he explained that she answered." >> and if she didn't maybe futerman could prevent a jury from hearing that first conflicting story. does it surprise people when they find out how well you can read lips? >> yes. >> and here she is. lucinda hebbler, who is deaf, is the lip reader hired by attorney futerman. had you ever heard such a request before? >> it was the first time in my whole life. >> the video was very grainy hard to decipher. but lucinda told futerman she would try. what were you looking for her to say? >> i was specifically looking for, "yes, i understand my rights." i see no evidence of her saying those words. >> right. but then, a judge's ruling

meant it suddenly didn't matter what lucinda saw or didn't see. a miranda warning, said the judge, wasn't necessary at that point. >> you have the right to remain silent. >> and in fact cara had been read her rights later at the police station. so the jury would get to hear cara's first conflicting statement. futerman was deflated. somehow he was sure lucinda had to be good for his case. but he also knew the judge's ruling was a problem. so futerman switched gears and planned his strategy to pick a jury. >> we anticipated that women would be favorable to someone who'd have been raped. >> he decided to do a dry run, enlisted mock juries composed of men and women to test their reactions, not just to the evidence, but to cara herself. it's rare to witness the workings of a mock trial. they're usually confidential. >> and i saw the figure come through the doorway. >> but this is the actual audio

as cara testified for the mock jurors. >> and that's when i -- i reached for the gun. >> when you shot, did you know who you shot? >> no, not until i heard his voice -- >> futerman acted as prosecutor. the questioning was withering. >> so now we have three different stories within a couple of hours'period. and your explanation for that is what? >> i was stunned. i was shocked. i was an emotional wreck. >> that should go down well with female jurors, thought futerman. and? >> i was dead wrong. >> here's what the mock jurors told futerman. while some women gave the answer he expected -- >> i found her not guilty, she was already in fear for her life. >> most found her guilty as sin. >> i don't believe for one second that she was raped. >> as for the men, the result was practically reversed. >> the facts of the case are that someone broke into the home and they were afraid and they shot him. >> were futerman and his

co-counsel surprised? you bet they were. time to rethink strategy for the real trial. >> every case is winnable. and every case has pros and cons. >> cara's case, winnable? well, that remained to be seen. coming up, at trial, testimony that j.j. had recently cut his financial ties to cara and there was going to be hell to pay. >> the week he died, i helped him get bank accounts away from her. that was the first week the money didn't hit the account and she had a fit. it was about money with her. >> when "dateline" continues. this book has helped me reach so many young homeowners who have become their parents. hey, what's the lowest you'll go on one of these mugs? ah, remember -- no haggling in stores. oh, yeah, chapter six, yep. they may have read the book, but they still have a long way to go. was hoping to get your john hancock on there. well, let's just call it a signature. i noticed there weren't any refreshments, so i'm just gonna leave a couple of snackies. folks, the line's in shambles, let's tuck it in.

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how the facials warren about possible trip without this winter with covid the flu and rsp. a federal appeals court blocked biden's student forgiveness program after it was challenged in court. by administration said barr's continue to fill out applications while the we go by continues. back to dateline. not quite two years after cara ryan shot her ex-husband, prosecutor liz jack stood before a freshly impanelled jury and painted a picture of a cold, manipulative woman who could no longer control or even have her once compliant ex-husband. and so -- >> on march 7th, 2015, she invited him over for sex. he accepted her invitation and by the end of the night he was dead. >> dead, the state charged,

because he had the temerity to leave her and take up with another woman. >> she was not happy about it. i think -- i think she was definitely shocked. to her, it came out of nowhere. >> and he didn't just leave her. he cut off the money. >> she was financially dependent on him and he left her. >> she was used to having "x" number of more dollars in her bank account and -- >> and now it was gone. >> now it was gone. >> listen to the 911 call, so devoid of emotion, said the prosecutor. evidence that this popular teacher was capable of murder. >> my ex-husband came in and he raped me. >> he raped you? >> mm-hmm. >> more evidence. soon after the murder police asked j.j.'s daughter meghan to call cara. they recorded the call. it too was played for the jury. >> why did you shoot him though? >> i didn't know if it was him coming back to kill me like he said he would or if it was a stranger coming in and that's

what he always said, if anyone came in the house unannounced, to shoot to kill. >> the monotone, the -- you know, the lack of sympathy. >> how are you doing? >> horrible. >> i'm sorry. i don't know what to say. >> she's talking to the daughter of the man she just shot and killed. >> the jury also saw these selfies from cara's phone, they were taken three days after the shooting. >> she just killed her lover of so many years and here she is out drinking. it seemed very odd. >> and remember all those stories about cara's control over j.j.? meghan told the jury how he had to sneak around with his own daughter. >> he would give me money in gas gift cards or grocery gift cards, to make it look like he had bought gas or had bought groceries because if he took cash out or money out to give me, it would cause some type of ordeal.

>> but his new love, lonnie lancto, told the jury about that change in j.j. as soon as he left cara. >> his relationship with his daughter was so much better because he didn't have to answer to why he was talking to her, what was it about, what did she want? >> wait a minute. he had to answer for what he -- how he talked to his daughter? >> oh, absolutely. that was a big deal. >> j.j., she said, loved his newly found freedom. >> he was so excited. he was so happy to not have to answer to someone for every single thing he did or said. >> and lonnie also told the jury that all hell broke loose after j.j. cut off his financial ties to cara. >> the week he died, i helped him get bank accounts away from her. that was the first week the money didn't hit the account. and she had a fit. it was about money with her. >> then the night j.j. died, the prosecutor said, cara

lured him with that invitation for sex via "x"-rated text messages. which were displayed for the jury. >> we also found that she downloaded a book, how to get your man back, or something to that effect. >> just how badly did she want him back? these are from notes cara wrote to herself on her phone. "i would do anything to make it work. i love you. i want to start over." "how can you just abandon a 20-year relationship? " >> stuff that we found in her cell phone that showed this shock and this dismay that, "how could he do this? " >> but remember, cara accused j.j. of raping her. so the prosecutor told the jury that dna tests didn't even show clear evidence that they'd had sex. and those bruises on cara's hip were, judging from texts with the new boyfriend, not from j.j. >> the rough sex a couple of days prior to the shooting is what led to whatever injuries she may have had.

>> the red marks on her wrists could have been from sex play, said the state. could have been from struggling with her handcuffs here in the police car. >> nothing led me to believe that there was anything from this alleged altercation with j.j. that was on her body at all. >> and remember how cara told detectives that j.j. went back to drinking and abusing oxycodone after they broke up? but the medical examiner testified that the level of alcohol in his system was very low that night. and there was no trace of opiates in his blood at the time of his death. >> he had one pill in his pocket at the time of his death and he obviously had the prescription because he injured his back. >> so, if the detectives were right that cara wasn't defending herself, why that night at that moment did she take out the gun and pull the trigger? because, said the prosecutor, her ploy, her attempt to lure him back, failed and she was losing control of him. the state's theory?

that cara did send graphic selfies to her new boyfriend. and j.j. did see them. she wanted to make him jealous but he didn't attack her. he just walked out on her. >> i think it's reasonable to believe that he said, "this is it. this is over." you know? so maybe that plays a part into her saying, you know, "i'm not gonna get him back." >> and so -- >> things went south. she wasn't happy. >> police and prosecutors said it just couldn't have happened the way cara said it did. for one thing when first responders arrived just moments after the shooting really, all the lights in the house were on. it wasn't in darkness the way she described it. and this room is so tiny. that somebody standing in the doorway could reach out and touch the finger of the person on the bed. so wouldn't she have recognized the man she'd lived with for 20 years when he was that close? wouldn't she have recognized the sound of his footsteps coming across the floor? and the bullet that killed him

went in through his upper arm at the back and down into his heart as if he wasn't coming in to attack her, but as if he was turning away. perhaps to run. you saw the trajectory of the bullet. what story did it tell you about what must have happened in that bedroom doorway? >> j.j. was walking out or turned to leave the bedroom and saw it coming and may have ducked down. but her story of, "i saw this hand reaching towards me and i pulled the trigger, " it doesn't line up with the angle, the trajectory of the shooting. like i told her, i said, "what, did the bullet hang a u-turn? it doesn't work like that." >> but perhaps the state's strongest evidence was in cara's own words. jurors listened to those hours and hours of ever evolving stories. >> i was scared. i didn't know who was coming in. >> i think any normal person, you know, would be able to look at those interviews and say, "she's lying.

she's not telling the truth." there's nothing in there that tells me, you know, that there's a reasonable explanation for her action. >> yes, there was a reasonable explanation, said the defense. and the jury was about to hear it. coming up, cara's lawyer argues the cops mishandled the case because j.j. was one of their own. >> he lied. when the witness gets on that stand, the injury is not going to forgive you. >> then cara takes a gamble that could decide her fate. >> i texted and he said i'll do it. >> when "dateline" continues. continues continues

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under way even before the opening statements began. the strategy, at least. attorney rodger futerman, remember, had put cara through a couple of mock trials and discovered-- >> the majority of women convicted her, and the majority of men didn't, and the women's rationale was all emotionally

based. they wanted to hear much more emotion in her. they want to hear her crying. >> and this client is not like that. >> that's not her. it's just not how she is. >> so futerman worked hard to ensure there were mostly males in the jury. in florida, second degree murder cases have six-person juries, and he succeeded. 5 of the 6 were men. >> we believed the men wouldn't be focused on the emotion, but more on the facts. >> what else did you look for in the jury? >> gun owners. people that were not afraid to shoot someone if they came into their house unannounced, and almost every one of our jurors had a gun, and was not afraid to use it. >> once the trial began, futerman told those jurors that cara had no choice but to use her gun to defend herself. plain and simple. >> he attacked her. she said stop. he never acted like this, stop. you're raping me, stop. >> something else the defense tried to do, persuade the jury that j.j. was out of control after seeing

that text from cara's new boyfriend, and came back to the house in a rage. >> he snapped. she defended herself. he snapped. >> so those are the elements you need to get a jury to believe he was a person capable of snapping -- >> correct. >> and that she legitimately was in fear for her life. >> correct. >> that she wasn't angry, and wanted revenge, but was terrified. >> correct. >> so part of the strategy was, put the victim on trial. you went after him pretty hard, you went after him for -- you called him essentially a drunk. you talked about the oxycodone use, and you made it sound like he was, you know, a volcano about to explode. >> well, there was no doubt, as our expert said, he was a chronic xanax and oxycodone user. >> right, for good reason. >> for good reason. >> his injuries. >> but i think that -- >> reporter: they were prescribed. >> they were prescribed, but as

needed. three to four a day, that's a lot. we don't know when he was taking them. >> even though medical examiner testified that j.j.'s blood showed low levels of alcohol and no trace of painkillers that night, futerman claimed withdrawal set j.j. off. >> he was drinking. he was coming off oxy. he was coming off xanax. he was taking antidepressants. he was filled with rage. he was confused, and all of these things could lead him to snap that night, because that's what happened. he snapped. >> he had bad addictions. he had bad sides to him. he wasn't a bad guy. >> but his friends, his family felt as if the dead guy is being dragged through the mud. >> sure. >> did you feel bad about it? >> i didn't want it to happen. i never wanted to go to court and air all of our dirty laundry. >> but now that she was here,

accused of murder, j.j.'s reputation was fair game, said attorney futerman. >> i think there was a lot of sides to j.j. that his best friends didn't know. >> including his cop buddies, said futerman. cops who, he charged, were blind to anything but cara's alleged guilt, and would do anything to prove it. >> it wasn't an investigation. it was a witch hunt. they sprang up out of their beds like a church choir, and they met at that gate with pitchforks. >> why would they do that? >> they were his friends. they were his buddies, his brothers. >> i told the jury, the police are going to lie to you. >> lie, as when the deputy said he read cara her rights in the patrol car, said futerman. >> the deputy originally said it was during the first 15 minutes, then he changed his story. >> and he said, i no longer read miranda within 15 minutes. i read it an hour and ten minutes later.

>> and she wasn't facing a camera at that point? >> correct. >> futerman charged that the deputy changed his story after he found out that lucinda the lip reader had been analyzing cara's words. the deputy said, no, he just refreshed his memory by looking at the tape. but futerman wasn't buying it. >> he lied. >> and that's when futerman put lucinda on the stand. she confirmed that she never saw cara respond to a miranda warning, and though she said she couldn't always tell what was said on that video, futerman had made his point. >> when you lie to a jury, when your witnesses lie, get on that stand, especially a police officer, and lie, the jury's not going to forgive you. and he lied. >> well, maybe. but the defense still had to account for the prosecution's strongest evidence against cara. her shifting versions, her many different stories about what happened. >> my story didn't change.

i just got it out of sequence. he came in the door. he raped me. he was enraged. he came in the door, and he yelled at me. he left. he came back. it was just the same thing, just a little muddled. >> it was a little more than muddled. things happened at different times in different tellings basically, right? >> i just got things out of sequence. i was in shock. i was scared out of my mind. i had never seen him like that. >> at the trial, attorney futerman had an expert offer this opinion. >> trauma can affect how you remember things. sometimes a moment of self preservation can affect how you say things. >> but cara was consistent about one thing, her claim that j.j.

raped her. evidence to back that up? the marks on her wrists, said futerman, and he called another expert to say they were fresh, just hours old, so couldn't have been caused by the new boyfriend. >> it was a quantum leap from the state to say the sex that she had 36 hours prior to the incident would leave fresh scratches on her, or a bruise. so we think that that was caused by the incident. >> mind you, the state said the marks could have been left by the handcuffs too, but again, futerman had made his point. but now cara had to make a decision, should she testify or not? >> i thought, i really don't want to testify. i'm scared, and it's painful, and then roger said, it's totally up to you, but my gut says testify. and i said no. >> but in the middle of the night, she told us she changed her mind. >> so i texted roger at 3:00. i said, i'll do it. >> and she did. cara told her story, and in the middle, she dropped a bombshell about j.j. coming up, a stunning revelation.

>> he left a suicide note. >> when did he write that note? >> i don't know when he wrote it. >> what would it moon for cara's case, when "dateline" continues. continues. d spread germs everywhere. wherever they rest protection nothing kills more viruses, including the covid-19 virus, on more surfaces than lysol disinfectant spray. lysol. what it takes to protect. [school bells] when pain says, “i'm here,” i say, “so are they.” ♪♪ aleve - who do you take it for? ♪♪ age before beauty? why not both? visibly diminish wrinkled skin in just two days. new crepe corrector lotion only from gold bond. champion your skin. facing expensive vitamin c creams with dull results?

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to testify. a risky decision, yet futerman had confidence in his client. >> i told her, "just tell the truth and be yourself. don't be fake. don't put fake tears. and if you are yourself, and you do tell the truth, you can't go wrong." >> so cara took the stand and tried to explain why there were differences in the way she told her story. she also explained to the jury that she was smiling in those photos taken two days after she shot j.j. because her friend asked her to smile. then came the bombshell. >> he left a suicide note. >> when did he write that note? >> i don't know when he wrote it. >> attorney futerman said he made the discovery after going through more than 300 pieces of evidence. >> and i bursted out crying because i thought his last words to me were, "i'm going to kill you." and "you're a [bleep] whore."

and his last words were sad. >> the letter read, "i love you more than i have loved anything or anyone in my entire life." "i wish with all my soul that you felt the same way." "please take care of meghan. i am sorry i failed you, because i really did love you." was that a suicide note? >> oh, i think so. >> that's a matter of opinion. >> i think when you say, "take care of my daughter." "i did love you, " all the other insecurities in that note, the point of that note to me was there's another side of j.j. that a lot of people didn't know. and there were some real issues there. >> but the idea that was a suicide note? ludicrous, said the prosecution. could have been written years earlier, probably was. after all, why would he ask cara to take care of meghan? she was an adult, living on her own, when j.j. was killed. and j.j. was over the moon with his new life with a new woman, so those expressions of love, highly

unlikely at the time of his death. anyway, with that, it was over. cara had done all she could to make her case. what was it like when that jury went out? >> i knew it was in god's hands. there's nothing i could do. now, my attorney looked like somebody had punched him in the gut, but i was just an eerie calm. >> meghan was anything but calm as the jury deliberated. >> it was nerve-wracking. i was, like, wondering what they were talking about. >> ron fowler was foreman of the jury, amy petrila was the one and only woman. how did the prosecution want you to see her and her character? >> you know, manipulated and cold -- a cold blooded killer. >> would you agree with that? >> well, yeah. and i guess maybe not quite to that degree. >> but was she? >> you know, she's a teacher. she's never been in trouble before. >> but as he listened to testimony, ron found cara's

actions odd. >> she never cried when she was on the phone with the stepdaughter, "i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to shoot him." so that really bothered me through the case. >> they were less bothered, mind you, by the way cara's story of what happened kept changing. >> the testimonies from some of the experts say that's not unusual. >> victims of assault, physical assaults or sexual assaults, act different than people who are contemplating murder. >> score one for the defense in a series, otherwise, of strikeouts. its portrayal of j.j. as an opiate-addicted drunk, for one. >> when they tried to paint him as being this, you know, drunk, on drugs, and irrational, i didn't put a lot of basis to that. >> i always figure if someone is able to keep a job for ten years they're doing something right. >> then lucinda the lip reader who said she didn't see

evidence that the deputy read cara her miranda rights in the cruiser. the defense called the deputy a liar, remember that? >> i think the defense was trying to do whatever they could to create doubt. that's their job. >> sure. >> i didn't think it added much to, you know, the evidence that we were looking at. >> i didn't believe that the policeman did read the rights based upon his testimony, but later they did, when they really continued to ask questions. then they read the miranda rights. >> another defense strikeout. the suicide note, if that's what it was, didn't add much for them either. >> i think just for me it spoke to his state of mind -- >> did it seem like -- >> -- at some point. >> -- a suicide note to you? or was it more -- >> i read it several times. there's different meanings that you could put to it. >> i just didn't think that it had a basis for what happened that night. >> finally, cara's risky

decision to testify. did it pay off? >> i was surprised that she testified, but it didn't really alter my thought process before or after. >> so they gathered in the jury room, five men and one woman. two weeks'worth of evidence and testimony to review and debate. and then they had to decide who to believe, and what mattered, and what the evidence proved. >> it's a horrendous waiting moment. >> and? it wasn't very many moments. the jury decided in just 90 minutes. >> that usually means guilty in that short period of time. >> so your spirits rose? >> absolutely. >> yeah. >> i asked my attorney what that meant, he said, "you can't tell what a jury's gonna do." >> when they came back very quickly, i was petrified. coming up, the jury speaks. >> it was stone silence and all you heard was -- from everyone. >> when "dateline" continues. >> when "dateline" continues.

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outbursts. >> there is no overstating it. a palpable tension, a flutter of the heart, when a jury files in to pronounce the fate of another human being. cara ryan shot her ex. she could spend decades in prison, or she could walk free. this was the moment she'd find out. you're charged with second degree murder. the jury walks back into the room. what'd it feel like to be you? >> all i could do is breathe. all i could do is just keep a stiff upper lip, hold my head high, be confident. >> some spectators watched on a closed circuit feed. a cell phone camera recorded it, the words that changed cara's life. >> as to the defendant in this case, the defendant is not guilty. >> not guilty. >> my first moment was, thank

you, to my attorney roger and his co-counsel, and then my next thought was to turn around and look at my mother and say, mom, it's okay. >> that, we need hardly tell you, is certainly not what j.j.'s brother was doing, or feeling. >> i said to myself, you're [bleep] kidding me. >> or his sister -- >> there was stone silence, and all you heard was -- [gasp] from everyone. >> we were in shock, exactly. >> or his daughter meghan. >> i didn't really believe that that's what i heard, and i didn't want to cause a scene, so i walked out. the moment i hit those doors, i just fell to the floor. i couldn't physically move anymore. >> it was just like it was when she heard he was dead, she said. >> my heart shattered again. somebody who had hurt you for so long, and then hurt you in the biggest way anybody ever could, just won again, like she always did.

>> so why did the jury acquit? in the end, they said, it boiled down to a single question. did cara shoot j.j. in self-defense or rage? >> i don't think it was out of rage. i think it was out of fear. >> it was the sense of fear, the sense of self-defense, that he was angry, that he left and came back that still resonated with me of the self-defense issue being pretty strong. >> amy had no doubt, she said. cara must have been assaulted. what evidence persuaded you of that? >> the marks on her arms and her entire demeanor at the time of the interviews, after the murder. she presented as a very scared victim of an assault. >> amy didn't believe those

marks could have come from the kinky sex cara had with her new boyfriend. >> the evidence was presented that the marks were less than 24 hours old. >> nor did amy buy the prosecution theory that cara got those marks from handcuffs in the police car. >> i believe the testimony that she was in fear of her life, and she was defending herself as she had been instructed by her -- >> reporter: by him. >> husband, ex-husband. >> so the jury was unanimous, cara shot j.j. in self-defense. >> was there evidence enough to say that she did not act in self-defense? none of us could come to that conclusion. >> cara's life is no longer on hold. she said she's hoping to get back to teaching now that this ordeal is behind her. and at the end of our interview the woman who revealed little emotion to juries, mock or real, finally did. what are you feeling right this second? >> i feel like -- i feel like jay's still with

me. i think about him every day, and i wish things were different. i wish i could've saved him. i wish i could've done something differently, and i know this has caused a lot of pain for not just his family, but my family. >> after the trial, j.j.'s daughter, meghan, filed a wrongful death lawsuit against cara. they publicly agreed that j.j.'s death was in no way unlawful. as for lonnie lantco, she lives with the loss of j.j. every day. >> it never goes away, but we keep john alive with each other. the family and i are very close. i get to talk to megan every day. i get to see the things that he missed, or misses, and hope that he's seeing them, and he's proud of her. it never goes away. we keep him alive fresh other. we're very class. i can't attack to make an every day. i can't to see the things that

he messed or misses. at hope that he's there. that is part of her. >> and meghan, who in fact did get that job as a police dispatcher, is now trying to navigate a future without him. >> you wish that, yeah, it could be different, but i just have to go forward with my life, and live to make my dad very proud of what i have become. >> oh, i think he probably is. >> i really hope so. i really hope so. >> i'm craig melvin. >> and i'm natalie morales. >> and this is dateline. it's horrifying. >> it was my mom.