>> i'm craig melvin.

>> and i'm natalie morales >> and this is "dateline". >> marie was a very loving person she had a heart of gold. what happened to this woman? my job is to be a truth teller and seek out the truth i wanted to solve it >> her case was a mystery fo years. the mom with a tender heart an tough as nails career. >> she was part of the sheriff 's department. her ultimate goal was to try t get into the fbi >> she found a new sense o purpose in the church. her pastor and his wife, lik family >> they had taken her in they were helping her out. >> it's like, i'm proud of you

you're finding god >> then, one baffling text and she was gone >> i go, i know, i probabl watch a lot of "law & order" but i have this really gut feeling. >> because i was a mom, i just knew she didn't leave on her own. there was no way she left that baby >> two moms at opposite ends o a mystery. could one get justice for th other? >> this case for sure was an investigator's worst nightmare >> soon, clues to a hidden life >> a very amorous, romantic, wild relationship. >> it was lustful. oh, my goodness. >> there were secrets here deadly once. >> it hit me hard. i'm like, no, no, no >> come to jesus moment? >> it was, yes >> i was scared to death >> hello and welcome t "dateline" marie carlson was a force of nature

enthusiastic, spirited beautiful. but behind the radiant glow, she hid a darkness for a while, marie drifted and then a pastor and his wife welcomed her into their life it was a spiritual awakening which made marie's sudde disappearance all the more mysterious it would take a detective with a special bond and some divine intervention to find out wha happened to marie. here's keith morrison with "secrets on the emerald coast" >> how do you catch a dancin sprite you put her in a bottle? can you package the joy sh brings can you keep it when she goes?

>> she was like a gravitationa pull >> her name was marie. marie carlson. >> she was magnetic. >> when she was happy, she could make the hold world sing >> lifted life to the fullest, is what marie would tell me. you know, you might not have tomorrow >> and so, she offered herself her goodness gave her vulnerable heart an stored her secrets until - what happened? but she was always that way. from the time of the very firs secret in her life she was born in the philippine to a single mother then taken in by the family of an american serviceman and it was really years late when she learned that kind serviceman was actually he father which meant that esta bridges, the bright's best friend she grew up with, was also her sister what was that like to find tha out that she is -- actually your sister >> i was happy i was really happy because i always thought she was since we were little girls >> when they got older, esta moved to florida and lived together the location, ideal. >> we chose an apartment tha was behind a karaoke club. so that we could just go there all the time we were stars. >> and she wore pink always pink. >> it was her personality. it's full of life. >> and always trying to perk u everyone else with her favorit word, beautiful. >> my gosh, she so beautiful you know, i want to be lik her. but she always used to tell me

no, you are beautiful. >> she loved that word >> kay barber was like a mothe to marie her's the second family to tak marie in when she was 18 and struggling >> marie's nickname that i gav her was rosy because she was always jus peachy and rosy and happy. >> but she was when she me jeff carlson and he fell hard >> and it was like, instant. >> so, they married. and then they had a daughter named paris. and they thought their lif together would be grand. marie got a college degree i criminal justice became deputy sheriff. >> her ultimate goal was to tr to get into the fbi. >> but then for all the love between them, there were issues jeff learned there were more secrets.

that as a girl, marie had been sexually assaulted and sometimes her love and joy were chased into a darke place. >> the biggest issue was she didn't love herself. >> they tried, but the marriag didn't last. and after that, marie drifted little jobs fell through. she had to move frequently jeff suggested paris, then three, would have a more stabl life with him. >> she fought it initially, bu she agreed that it was probabl for the best so, paris was with me. >> though she saw paris often, and called all the time. and then, marie finally foun what her vulnerable, lovin soul seemed to need. >> i was actually happy for her, because she found god. >> marie had found a spiritual home at the calvary emeral coast church it was hardly a fanc cathedral. the place was in a strip mall. but fancy wasn't the point salvation was. here, finally, marie fel right. >> jesus is saying, you know what you are missing out. >> the pastor was a charismati

man named james flanders, wh preached the bible four square preached in jeans, sneakers. lived streamed and youtubed hi sermons. >> it was a very happening place. >> jason anderson was the yout pastor >> i fell asleep listening t his sermons. [laughs] >> but more than that, the pastor and his wife, james and tanya flanders were known fo their big hearts, thei charity. and that's when for a thir time, a family took in marie >> she saying that she was there until she got on her feet >> but a whole year went by. and then, what was comin couldn't be hidden the story floating around? there had been an abusiv boyfriend who abandoned her an left her pregnant. and in july, 2011, marie gav birth to a baby girl and named her grace. the pastor and his wife took care of both of them >> it was explained to me that they were helping her out. that she was down on her luck.

>> she was by all appearances, saved. spiritually by faith, an practically by the pastor an his wife so, imagine the surprise, when a strange group text message popped up on the phones of her family and friends do you still remember the word of that mass text? >> she said that yesterday she left for long beach to d something that she alway wanted to do she didn't want us to try to stop her her last words were i love and appreciate you all >> but the biggest surprise? marie did not take her three month old baby she left grace behind with the pastor and his wife. and right away, her sister est sensed that something wasn't right. she called her family. >> i go, i know i probably watch a lot of "law & order" but can you find out what is going on because i have this really gut feeling -- she said oh, you watched too many of those kind of shows. i'm like, no, this i different. >> it was the fall of 2011

the very same time that detective named nesl suhi-moore became a mother a fact, which as you will see, may have made all th difference >> you get a bette understanding of what it's lik to love somebody to the end of the world and back >> it was almost like fate intended to tie these tw together in a mystery of love and lie and loss >> where had met marie carlson gone the detective who had just become a new mom felt a specia connection to the case coming up -- >> the investigator said, we'r going to open a case which surprised me >> the antenna must have gon up >> it did go up. >> i just knew that she didn't leave on her own there was no way she left that baby >> when "dateline" continues with flonase, allergies don't have to be scary. spray flonase sensimist daily for non-drowsy,

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family and friends she was leaving for fort walton beac and nobody could figure out wh or where she went. and this was very strange. she left her three month old baby in the care of her pastor james flanders and his wife, tanya, and not her family. not the woman she looked to as a mother figure, kay barber. >> it was heartbreaking. it was heartbreaking >> marie's ex-husband, jef carlson, got the text, too didn't make sense to him tha she would leave without callin her seven-year-old daughter, paris. kay called jeff and said she h should file a report >> she said, i don't kno what's going on but i thin something happened and i said, yeah i agree wit you. >> and then just called th okaloosa county sheriff' office to report marie missing >> the investigator said, we'r

going to open a case and investigation on this, which surprised me because she's a adult. she could've just left >> because marie was ver adventurous, she liked t travel and when the mood struck her sometimes she just took off fo a few days on some whim. but some things seem t different this time. >> she would've never have lef without talking to me about it and talking to paris >> she'd been gone a week when the sheriff asked detectives keith matz to look into it that text message, something off, said her family >> this doesn't sound like marie. >> so when you got that one, the antenna must have gone up? >> the antennas did go up. >> detective nesli suhi-moor didn't hear about the case then because -- on maternity leave >> correct and i came back two weeks afte

she was initially reported missing. >> and that's when nesli heard from other detectives about th case keith was working on. >> poor keith. had no idea that i was going t come bully my way into the investigation. >> and why did you want to bully your way into th investigation? >> i think the connection of just having a child. i just knew that she didn' leave on her own >> so here they were, partners the young detective who happen to be a brand-new mother, an the veteran who had seen jus about everything and who soon learned fro friends and family that mari was deeply attached to both he daughters. >> she had a heart of gold and loved her paris more tha anything in the world. >> but what happened in he life and how did she end up wit another baby >> from esta, the detectives learned about the divorce an how marie had loved her lost her job.

and how the pastor and his wif offered her a place to stay. but the questions about baby grace? said esta her relationship wit marie was always supportive bu not judgmental and when mari didn't tell her who the father was, she didn't push the subject. >> i never questioned he because will marie tell me i her own time if she wants to tell me. i've learned with my sister, i never pry. >> but that was the job of the detectives, nesli and keith to pry. hopefully to find marie. one of their first calls was o her church pastor, james flanders and his wife. impressive guy, they discovered james flanders what was he like >> very charismatic. i would say he was good at his job. >> i wonder what it would be like to listen to him preach >> you can youtube him >> yes, you can.

>> we all at times forget th promises of god's word >> the pastor grew there calvary emerald coast church from scratch spread it through youtube. and by the time marie bega attended tending, every servic filled up. >> they were a tight-kni family, that church. >> but now with marie gone the were caring for little grace so, did the flanders have an idea what happened to marie? perhaps they knew who th father was and where that abusive boyfriend might be found and oh, yes, there was a story all right. >> coming up - questions mount and leads ar running out. it was time running out too? >> he searched it but there wa nothing to search. it was clean this case for sure, was an investigator's worst nightmare >> when "dateline" continues they're called 'small businesses.' but to the people who build them there's nothing 'small' about them. that's why at t-mobile for business... you'll save more than $1,000 versus verizon. and with price lock guarantee, we'll never raise your rate plan. so you can keep your focus on toe-turns and making sure the sauce is extra spicy. at t-mobile, there are no small businesses.

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church in fort walton beac florida was much more than a place to gather on sunda mornings led by - this place was a beacon of charity to the pastor and his churc sacrificed their own needs t send money to the victims of katrina. and when marie carlson neede help, they took her in too >> that's what pastors do fo the congregation >> but now -- >> i'm left with a missing person who's vanished off th earth. >> a week and a half after murray vanished, or drove away or whatever she did. the detectives went calling on

the flanders, who said tha they fully expected that marie would return soon. at this was not the first time that she took spur of th moment trips >> not to the point where sh would be reported to law enforcement as missing though. she came back. >> although they tol detectives they were quite worried about marie's state of mind >> they said that it was a dow ward that spiral >> they said that she wa depressed? >> yes >> marie could have wild moo swings, they knew that she had a diagnosed mood disorder. did they tell you that she was bipolar? >> yes, told me that she was bipolar, that she was taking medication that she wa overmedication probably becaus of her giving birth of the child. >> but there was another prescription bottle to well >> and they also showed us bottle that was empty, that wa linked to the fact that she ha taken that medication and woul use it to hurt herself

>> the day she left, james tol detectives he was so worried about her state of mind, h stayed at home >> james said that she was acting up and he didn't -- >> he was afraid the baby woul -- >> yes >> then, late that afternoon said pastor james, marie sai she was tired, went to lie down tanya took the baby ou shopping so marie could rest the pastor said he waite around for a bit talked to her briefly when she woke up and went out for a run and when he returned, marie an her white mazda pick up truc were gone. strangely, the flanders said marie had packed her bags bu didn't take them >> why would she take off an not take her bags with her >> anyway, said the flanders when she did not come back tha day or the next, they drov around town looking for her. went to the airport. maybe she parked her car there and flown away did they find it

>> they did. james said that he found it in a long term parking. >> at least, part of the mystery was solved, said the pastor she must of flown off to visit someone. they took her pick up home so, the mazda. what did you do about that car when you got your hands on it? >> we searched it but there wa nothing to search. it was clean >> they went to the airport. >> we checked the airlines there was nothing. she didn't fly out >> so, why would marie's car b at the airport if she didn't fly out of there of course, she could be trying to hide her tracks from snoopy friends and family or, what if someone else too the car to the airport someone who wanted to make i look like she'd left town. rather fishy then the detectives had an idea you know the machine that spit out tickets when you enter a airport parking lot? that very ticket goes back t the toll booth when you leave.

>> keith and i went to the little toll booth where yo give them your take it >> maybe, thought th detectives, the parking ticket for must us -- mazda's would be there but a more important questio would be by whom >> we were thinking it we woul get a thumbprint, or a fingerprint, and we went through every single one o them until we found the on marie that's car had received. >> and yes, they got a print but no, it was not clear enoug to tell who's it was then, another thought. >> hey, let's go pull up the surveillance video and of course -- >> you looked at all of it >> the video was not working during the time that we needed it this case, for sure, was a investigator's worst nightmare >> dead ends everywhere. >> yes >> and weeks went by no sign of marie anywhere. time to embrace the though that they had all along. and it was not a good one.

>> keith and i both no longe believed we had a missin person we believed that we were dealing with a homicid investigation. but this is the hardes homicide investigation you can be given, one without a body and we didn't even have marie. >> coming up, the startlin secret that marie kept fro just about everyone. >> i went up and i put my hand on her stomach and i asked what's going on with this? >> when dateline continues reached an a1c under 7 and maintained it. ozempic® lowers the risk of major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults also with known heart disease. and you may lose weight. adults lost up to 14 pounds. ozempic® isn't for people with type 1 diabetes. don't share needles or pens, or reuse needles. don't take ozempic® if you or your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer, or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if allergic to it. stop ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction.

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what's happening former president donald trum claimed on his social medi platform saturday that quote unquote illegal leaks from the manhattan district attorney' office indicates that he wil be arrested on tuesday nbc news could not confirm any of trump's claim on that right now, there has been no officia announcement from the manhatta da who has declined to comment trump has possibly facin criminal charges in new york relating to alleged hush money now, back to dateline.

>> welcome back to datelin marie carlson disappeare without a trace. she did take her clothes or he baby adding to the mystery marie' car was at the airport, but yo never got on the plane was she depressed, that's what the pastor and his wife she wa living with thought. short on clues, the detectives thought they knew one thing, did marie not just vanish, and this missing persons cas turned into a murder investigation. here is keith morrison wit "secrets on the emerald coast" >> what a nest of puzzles. what happened to marie carlson where did she go did you go anywhere? and what about grace, the baby she left behind, who, fo example, was the father?

churches tend to be beehives o gossip so the detectives asked around >> she had a boyfriend, wa involved in an abusive relationship she was beat up. >> this is a member of the calgary emerald coast church >> she did want to go back t the guy. and didn't want to keep th child. >> in other words, she was gonna have an abortion but pastor flanders and hi wife had strong views abou abortion, and when the discovered her situation, they offered to help solve he dilemma. >> they were going to adopt th baby >> the flanders had an older daughter, who always wanted an older child, but one miscarriage after the other -- and, so as this church elder tell the detectives, the pasto and his wife came to a arrangement with marie >> she would stay three months to nurse the baby and then the

plan all along is that she would leave. that was my understanding from before the baby was born >> with the baby >> no, the baby was a gift for the flanders >> a gift? maybe. it was just like marie to be generous to ward the couple wh were so generous to her. but to skeptical detectives, especially this brand-ne mother, something about this story did not sound quit right. the father, for example, the fact that the alleged abusiv guy didn't seem to exist but then they talk to ex husband jeff and the story h heard, completely different. and he came directly from mari when she went to visit jef shortly after getting pregnant >> i put my head on her stomac and i said, what's going o with this? and she wasn't really showing. and her story at that time was well i'm just being surrogate. so we did a type of artificial insemination >> well, well, well. the pastor was the sperm donor in this new story, marie's gif was to be the pastor artificially's surrogate

but why the conflicting stories? to find, out the detective consulted three special church ladies tanya flanders closest confidants >> we call them the inne circle >> and the inner circle said yes, tanya told them but swore them to secrecy. but then, tanya gave up little more. the method was really homemade >> i remember them saying, o it was with the turkey thing >> now she's got a secret. >> yeah at that point. >> at that point the, yes that because tany could not just leave it there. the next time, she admitte something very, very shocking. >> and tanya said, well we did it the old-fashioned way >> james and marie had sex which, tanya told the ladies was okay with her. and as months passed and marie started showing, there was a baby shower.

but not for marie, this baby shower was for tanya she put a balloon under he shirt as a funny photo wit marie. but if the story came out, i could threaten everything that she had built in the past. and as i got more, and more, and more into weird stuff. it was just that the stakes go higher >> right imagine the secrecy that the inner circle, that tanya tol the truth, that it's james's baby >> but no room for secrets i an investigation the detectives invited james and tanya to voluntarily com in for a chat. but only tanya showed up and here in this little room i the sheriff's office, she le

it all come out. about that night of sake and sex, when grace was conceived. >> yeah he had a little bi too. i was the only one that was. but yes, i was there >> yes, in the room. but of course she was, sai tanya. and almost casually. she revealed the heresy that should it ever become public would ruin them. >> was marie going to move i and she would be number two. >> for a wife or whatever you call them >> sister wife >> it was, in short, polygamy, or their homegrown version o it tanya told detectives sh understood the bargain ver well >> i've always seen relationship as -- sex is not a relationship. a relationship is two people coming together. and sex is just a bonus. >> a very secret bonus, of course kept from almost everyone. but inside the bubble of their relationship, tanya said, they were happy >> she goes, you know what i am so glad that you are goin to be raising grace. she said, i'm so glad that i'm gonna be able to do that wit

you. and i thought, you know, how cool is that >> but then. then marie gave birth, and i wasn't cool for marie, not anymore. and certainly not adoption >> every time we started t broach the subject with her, she did get withdrawn. >> so, maybe tanya would not get baby grace maybe marie wanted it all, the baby and james, all fo herself. that's what this member of the inner circle believed. >> but i - did i hear that from marie that marie wanted james. >> did tanya strike back somehow, fight for her marriag by getting rid of marie? listen to how church members quote tanya's words. >> she's basically like, james

would never be able to tha but i coul >> shockers? >> i told her, you are not capable of killing her but tanya leans over and goes, he couldn't, but i could >> so wouldn't that lead you like a bloodhound to tanya she would have a motive? >>-- >> tanya, now the only mothe figure in grace's life, did sh know more than she was saying? did she do something >> did someone in the church have a confession to make? coming up, a confrontation i the congregation >> this is a, forgive my saying, come to jesus moment >> it was the hardest thing had ever had to do >> and divine intervention sudden earth shaking tip >> i remember getting that tip and thinking, no way >> when dateline continues -- i'm calling my doctor. if it's covid, paxlovid. authorized for emergency use, paxlovid is an oral treatment for people 12 and up... who have mild-to-moderate covid-19 and have a high-risk factor for it becoming severe. my symptoms are mild now, but i'm not waiting.

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differently. >> an attentive church goe might have noticed the intuition of an idea and the pastor when -- he mentioned a couple of races in the old testament that seem to approve, somehow, of polygamy >> he wanted to justify hi relationship to everybody else through a biblical sense >> so he went to the old testament and pulled up thos

few lines that suggest polygamy? >> that's correct. >> we if it was -- one and the very practical polygamy in the home of th pastor was carefully under wraps. so did tanya worry about wha might happen >> that's what she was coverin up she had to protect james and protect their world. >> did she do something to marie to protect james two months after marie she disappeared, the detectives go permission to look at the cell phone records of all three o them would they prove tanya was wit marie when she vanished and, thus, did something to her >> cell phone tower informatio from the area -- >> no. nowhere near marie so, they check the cell towers for james's phone, and what do you know when marie sent that last text message saying she was leaving town both her phone and the pasture

pinging off at the same cell tower two blocks from hi house. and when marie's was drop mazd was dropped at the airport - >> we had james's phon touching near the airport. why would his phone be near th airport? >> well, either jame innocently drove marie to th airport, or he drove her car there to cover up a crime. no way to prove it either way, so they were stuck again which is when jason, the youth pastor, remember him out of the blue, jason came to call he had something the detective needed to hear, he said. it takes a certain amount of courage. >> absolutely. we would have never known ha jason never come forward >> known what? the secret incident that got junior pastor jason involved it happens soon after mari disappeared. will it happen after james activist church elder for help >> i said what's going on? does this have to do with mari

what >> he said i can't tell. you he never once had anything to me else but, it's bad >> james seemed suicidal, said the elder. so he called a doctor friend and the doctor committed the preacher to a psychiatric ward for ten days during which time, jason too over preacher duties but then, jason hurd things, not about what happened to marie, but about the polygamy. another church leaders confronted him and tanya this was a come to jesus moment >> this was the hardest thing ever had to do was to confront my pastor -- >> your mentor >> sure. >> and james admitted it he had been sleeping with tw women in the same house. and then, youth pastor jason told the detectives, in that cloistered setting, james kept talking. and told a terrible story. >> him and marie have had physical or to caution befor

she went missing and she had scratched him on his arms >> james insisted marie wa still alive the last time he saw her. >> i was in shock of everything >> that was it he could not continue hi posturing, james would have to resign he announced that he and tanya were leaving town. >> they were supposed to leave the following morning to say goodbye to some church members and lo and behold around 12:00 12:30, they got in that truc and went to arizona. >> they fled >> like thieves in the night with baby grace. it was a few days after they left when jason went to th police to tell his disturbin story. >> they had a physical run in, the day that she went missing. >> then a piece of luck. before they left, what marie's friend k asked if they gave he was marie's computer the bad news was that it had been erased.

but -- >> i brought it to the sheriff 's department for them to take a look >> we had our forensic tec reanalyze the computer and it gave us a beautiful cop of her phone download that she had done when she backed her phone up >> but maybe it was not so lucky. there were thousands of text messages, but they were on unreadable jumble of symbols and words. >> this particular coin -- >> though, look at this? marie shot this video that did survive, showing the pasto hockey gold and silver online. apparently while running the church >> over $500 let me tell, you that' exciting stuff >> was james just a pastor or part-time flim-flam man? >> so this is where things stood when an omnibus tip came in startling, if true, it would solve the case

>> and in the tip it says that james buried her in th backyard >> that's some tip, what >> i remember getting that hav been thinking, no way. who would kill someone and bur them in their own backyard >> it could be bogus of course just another false lead. but they were hopeful. >> we brought cadaver dogs and we didn't find anything. >> nothing >> no. >> nobody. so, what happened to marie one >> more months went by, police kept trying to speak to jame but got no response. >> hello, this is -- james. >> and after a whole year, the tried again and he picked up >> i had been asked by our attorney not to talk to anyone without him there. >> and he did talk, he talke for two hours in fact from his car. making it sound like he was th victim >> what emotions have i felt over the past year and a month you know

anger at marie for going and not letting us know what's going on and then back to anger a myself for not making a phon call to get her help and anger at myself foreve letting the relationship becam when it came >> the pastor said that he kne he was the prime suspect >> i am terrified of the prospect of marie taking her own life and if she did - and i pray she didn't -- i hope she did it very, very very, very, very, very, very far away because if they find one littl bone that somehow could be connected with her and it's my fault. i'm sure it's the way people would look at it >> you know where marie it is? >> no. i do not, if i did i would g get her. >> did you kill marie carlson? >> no. >> and that was that they were stalled. murray was missing and the case was getting ver cold >> coming up - new revelations from the

pastor >> they were sending pornographic photos, back an forth. from the church. >> and then answer at last t the biggest mystery of all where was marie? >> they passed me a note sayin i miss her >> i was devastated. the guilt, the feeling that could've found her six months after she was reported missing >> when dateline continues (screaming) defeat allergy headaches fast with new flonase headache and allergy relief! two pills relieve allergy headache pain? and the congestion that causes it! flonase headache and allergy relief. psst! psst! all good! ♪ ♪ to all the chevy silverado owners out there. the adventurers and the doers. to everyone that works hard and plays hard. whether it's your first silverado or your tenth.

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case doesn't get better with age. it just gets colder. when state attorney bill eddin was an optimistic it was eve would ever be solved what chance did he have? >> i really felt it was about 50 50 chance of it been solved >> eddins decided one of his most experience prosecutors, angela mason to work on, it. >> she was an optimistic either >> i was certain leave foldabl in that i didn't have a body i was also vulnerable with the tanya element. that people thought she coul be a suspect >> and then, three years after marie disappeared, the mos amazing thing happened marie's computer yielded to new forensics program. and out spilled with blushin clarity text messages betwee marie and james. >> i love you. i love you so much and getting graphic details of what he wants to do with her

>> kind of pornographic? >> pornographic even to th point they were sendin pornographic photos. >> with each other >> from the church >> some things are hard to see oh, and, most important -- everything stopped the day she disappeared. >> no credit cards, no phones. i thought that was stron evidence that she was in fac dead and not in fact missing >> and her last conversation with a family member was - >> she went out of the circumstances she was in but she wasn't going to leav her baby behind. >> and then, there was this. >> one of those sermons posted on youtube just a month before marie vanished and now in the evidence file >> whenever someone is backstabbing me, lying about me, gossiping about me, trying t tear me down or whatever - you know what i want to do my feeling say choke the lif out of them. [laughs] >> is that what the pastor did too marie? >> the detective spelled out their case

circumstantial, difficult. but the prosecutors bought it. and james flanders charged wit second degree murder persistence paid off >> we were four and a half years in most people would've given u by now >> but as the pastor waited in jail for his trial, hi attorney and former church member glenn swiatek was optimistic >> what did you think your chances were if you went t trial? >> i do believe they would hav second degree murder they didn't have anybody >> maybe not that as the pastor and his attorney looked at the evidenc that might put him in prison for life, just before the trial, they made a deal the state reduced is charged from second degree murder to manslaughter and james agreed to tell the what he did to marie and where he put her marie's family grudgingl agreed >> that was the hardest thing. but i wanted to know where m sister was i didn't want to go years an years and years and not know >> as much as i just absolutel

heated to agree to it, i knew was that was probably the only way. >> first, was as part of the deal, the pastor told the stor of marie of the polygamy arrangement. >> it was as if she was anothe wife okay although we never had ceremony, or anything like that >> he said marie even had name for their relationship. >> marie called it a throuple. >> throuple. then the pastor offered hi version of that last awful night. he claimed that marie was in a downward spiral, mentally, and erupted after he told her sh should be hospitalized for depression >> she hit me in the chest and i grabbed ahold of her and just hugged as tight as could. in the scuffle, we filled down on the floor when we hit the floor, we hi it hard.

when i realized something was right, i rolled her over - she wasn't breathing >> a fatal bear hug? not possible thought nesli. and then she breezed for the answer she'd waited five years to hear. >> did you bury marie in the backyard >> i'll tell you exactly where it's at. >> is that where you buried her? >> yes >> and at that point, th detective got up and left th room >> nesli past me a note that said i missed her. >> i was pretty devastated i was in that backyard in 2012 >> not like you didn't look. >> yeah, but, you know human nature you still have the guilt the feeling of i could've foun her. six months after she was reported missing >> the pastor insisted tha tanya was around we shopping. knew nothing >> did you ever get her buried before tanya came back >> oh, yeah.

yeah >> do you wonder whether tanya had more to do with this >> i think that will always be in the back of our minds but, you know. i think she may have known mor than she wants to see. >> but tanya was never charged at her defense attorney said she was truly shocked by james 's confession. >> i can tell you as a matte of fact, i'm having to tell he what happened, she did not know >> later that afternoon, nesli escorted james flanders into his former backyard, where h marked with a little flags, th spot where he buried marie carlson five years earlier and then he fell on the ground crying and told her, i'm sorry. what an act, thought nesli it took hours, but finally almost five feet deep, wrapped in a blanket, they found wha was left of marie. >> i was shaking i was crying so much i don't think i've ever crie so loud.

>> nesli and prosecutor angela mason went, to >> it's my fault >> back in court that afternoon, james flanders sentenced to 15 years. with good behavior, he'll be out in 11. free to join tanya arizona and grace, whose mother he killed. >> he's going to get to have a life after he's done marie gone forever she doesn't get a life especially with her kids which is for most mothers, the world. >> jeff carlson had to tell hi daughter, paris, her mom was not coming back. >> it was easy what do you say? you don't know how to prepar them for the future of livin with this. he deprived her of her mother. >> later, marie's family and

many others, gathered for celebration of marie's life. they did her favorite thing. the sang karaoke and nowadays, when marie's daughter, paris comes to visit her cousin' daughter it to sit down at the pian amply. make music, just like thei mothers, years ago and grace? >> i want to tell her all abou her mom. it's one of those where i just -- i want to show her your mother really did love you. >> maybe someday she'll know about that uncontained-abl woman, who will she stayed brought joy, marie >> that's all for this edition of "dateline". i'm natalie morales. thanks for watching. >> as we begin a new hour, i the trump indictment imminent? that's