do. >> i'm just taking it all in right now. >> i think you are a tough cookie, aren't you? >> yeah, that's what a lot of people say. [laughs] i guess so! >> and dirty john meehan is an ever more distant memory now. this trail of victims say from his terror. thanks to a young woman, and a little dog who fought for her life, and won. >> that's all for this edition of dateline. i'm andrea canning. thanks for watching. >> hello, i'm andrea canning. and this is dateline. murray is very loving person.

she had a heart of gold. what happened to this woman? my job is to be a truth teller and seek out the truth. i wanted to solve it. >> her case was a mystery for years. the mom with a tender heart and tough as nails career. >> she was part of the sheriff 's department. her ultimate goal was to try to get into the fbi. >> she found a new sense of purpose in the church. her pastor and his wife, like family. >> they had taken her in. they were helping her out. >> it's like, i'm proud of you. you're finding god. >> then, one baffling text and she was gone. >> i go, i know, i probably watch a lot of "law & order", but i have this really gut feeling. >> because i was a mom, i just knew she didn't leave on her own. there was no way she left that baby. >> two moms at opposite ends of a mystery. could one get justice for the other? >> this case for sure was an investigator's worst nightmare. >> soon, clues to a hidden life.

>> a very amorous, romantic, wild relationship. >> it was lustful. oh, my goodness. >> there were secrets here. deadly ones. >> it hit me hard. i'm like, no, no, no. >> come to jesus moment? >> it was, yes. >> i was scared to death. >> hello and welcome to "dateline". marie carlson was a force of nature. enthusiastic, spirited, beautiful. but behind the radiant glow, she hid a darkness. for a while, marie drifted and then a pastor and his wife welcomed her into their life. it was a spiritual awakening which made marie's sudden disappearance all the more mysterious. it would take a detective with a special bond and some divine

intervention to find out what happened to marie. here's keith morrison with "secrets on the emerald coast". >> how do you catch a dancing sprite? you put her in a bottle? can you package the joy she brings? can you keep it when she goes? >> she was like a gravitational pull. >> her name was marie. marie carlson. >> she was magnetic. >> when she was happy, she could make the hold world sing. >> lifted life to the fullest, is what marie would tell me. you know, you might not have tomorrow. >> and so, she offered herself, her goodness. gave her vulnerable heart and stored her secrets until -- what happened? but she was always that way. from the time of the very first secret in her life. she was born in the philippines to a single mother. then taken in by the family of an american serviceman. and it was really years later when she learned that kind

serviceman was actually her father. which meant that esta bridges, the bright's best friend she grew up with, was also her sister. what was that like to find that out that she is -- actually your sister? >> i was happy. i was really happy. because i always thought she was since we were little girls. >> when they got older, esta moved to florida and lived together. the location, ideal. >> we chose an apartment that was behind a karaoke club. so that we could just go there all the time. we were stars. >> and she wore pink. always pink. >> it was her personality. it's full of life. >> and always trying to perk up everyone else with her favorite word, beautiful. >> my gosh, she so beautiful. you know, i want to be like her. but she always used to tell me no, you are beautiful. >> she loved that word. >> kay barber was like a mother to marie. her's the second family to take

marie in when she was 18 and struggling. >> marie's nickname that i gave her was rosy. because she was always just peachy and rosy and happy. >> but she was when she met jeff carlson. and he fell hard. >> and it was like, instant. >> so, they married. and then they had a daughter named paris. and they thought their life together would be grand. marie got a college degree in criminal justice. became deputy sheriff. >> her ultimate goal was to try to get into the fbi. >> but then for all the love between them, there were issues. jeff learned there were more secrets. that as a girl, marie had been sexually assaulted. and sometimes her love and joy were chased into a darker place. >> the biggest issue was she didn't love herself. >> they tried, but the marriage didn't last. and after that, marie drifted a little. jobs fell through. she had to move frequently. jeff suggested paris, then three, would have a more stable life with him. >> she fought it initially, but

she agreed that it was probably for the best. so, paris was with me. >> though she saw paris often, and called all the time. and then, marie finally found what her vulnerable, loving soul seemed to need. >> i was actually happy for her, because she found god. >> marie had found a spiritual home at the calvary emerald coast church. it was hardly a fancy cathedral. the place was in a strip mall. but fancy wasn't the point, salvation was. here, finally, marie felt right. >> jesus is saying, you know what? you are missing out. >> the pastor was a charismatic man named james flanders, who preached the bible four square. preached in jeans, sneakers. lived streamed and youtubed his sermons. >> it was a very happening place. >> jason anderson was the youth

pastor. >> i fell asleep listening to his sermons. [laughs] >> but more than that, the pastor and his wife, james and tanya flanders were known for their big hearts, their charity. and that's when for a third time, a family took in marie. >> she saying that she was there until she got on her feet. >> but a whole year went by. and then, what was coming couldn't be hidden. the story floating around? there had been an abusive boyfriend who abandoned her and left her pregnant. and in july, 2011, marie gave birth to a baby girl and named her grace. the pastor and his wife took care of both of them. >> it was explained to me that they were helping her out. that she was down on her luck. >> she was by all appearances, saved. spiritually by faith, and practically by the pastor and

his wife. so, imagine the surprise, when a strange group text message popped up on the phones of her family and friends. do you still remember the words of that mass text? >> she said that yesterday she left for long beach to do something that she always wanted to do. she didn't want us to try to stop her. her last words were i love and appreciate you all. >> but the biggest surprise? marie did not take her three month old baby. she left grace behind with the pastor and his wife. and right away, her sister esta sensed that something wasn't right. she called her family. >> i go, i know i probably watch a lot of "law & order", but can you find out what is going on? because i have this really gut feeling -- she said oh, you watched too many of those kind of shows. i'm like, no, this is different. >> it was the fall of 2011. the very same time that a detective named nesli suhi-moore became a mother. a fact, which as you will see, may have made all the difference. >> you get a better understanding of what it's like to love somebody to the end of

the world and back. >> it was almost like fate intended to tie these two together. in a mystery of love and lies and loss. >> where had met marie carlson gone? the detective who had just become a new mom felt a special connection to the case. coming up -- >> the investigator said, we're going to open a case. which surprised me. >> the antenna must have gone up? >> it did go up. >> i just knew that she didn't leave on her own. there was no way she left that baby. >> when "dateline" continues. this is how it feels to du more with less asthma... ...thanks to dupixent. dupixent is not for sudden breathing problems. it's an add-on treatment for specific types of moderate-to-severe asthma. and can help improve lung function for better breathing in as little as two weeks. dupixent helps prevent asthma attacks...

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keith morrison (voiceover): marie carlson had notified family and friends she was leaving for fort walton beach and nobody could figure out why or where she went. and this was very strange. she left her three month old baby in the care of her pastor, james flanders and his wife, tanya, and not her family. not the woman she looked to as a mother figure, kay barber. >> it was heartbreaking. it was heartbreaking. >> marie's ex-husband, jeff carlson, got the text, too. didn't make sense to him that she would leave without calling her seven-year-old daughter, paris. kay called jeff and said she he should file a report. >> she said, i don't know what's going on but i think something happened. and i said, yeah i agree with you.

>> and then just called the okaloosa county sheriff's office to report marie missing. >> the investigator said, we're going to open a case and investigation on this, which surprised me because she's an adult. she could've just left. >> because marie was very adventurous, she liked to travel. and when the mood struck her, sometimes she just took off for a few days on some whim. but some things seem to different this time. >> she would've never have left without talking to me about it and talking to paris. >> she'd been gone a week when the sheriff asked detectives keith matz to look into it. that text message, something off, said her family. >> this doesn't sound like marie. >> so when you got that one, the antenna must have gone up? >> the antennas did go up. >> detective nesli suhi-moore didn't hear about the case then. because -- on maternity leave. >> correct.

and i came back two weeks after she was initially reported missing. >> and that's when nesli heard from other detectives about the case keith was working on. >> poor keith. had no idea that i was going to come bully my way into the investigation. >> and why did you want to bully your way into the investigation? >> i think the connection of just having a child. i just knew that she didn't leave on her own. >> so here they were, partners. the young detective who happen to be a brand-new mother, and the veteran who had seen just about everything. and who soon learned from friends and family that marie was deeply attached to both her daughters. >> she had a heart of gold and loved her paris more than anything in the world. >> but what happened in her life? and how did she end up with another baby? >> from esta, the detectives learned about the divorce and how marie had loved her lost her job. and how the pastor and his wife

offered her a place to stay. but the questions about baby grace? said esta her relationship with marie was always supportive but not judgmental and when marie didn't tell her who the father was, she didn't push the subject. >> i never questioned her because will marie tell me in her own time. if she wants to tell me. i've learned with my sister, i never pry. >> but that was the job of the detectives, nesli and keith to pry. hopefully to find marie. one of their first calls was on her church pastor, james flanders and his wife. impressive guy, they discovered. james flanders. what was he like? >> very charismatic. i would say he was good at his job. >> i wonder what it would be like to listen to him preach? >> you can youtube him. >> yes, you can. >> we all at times forget the promises of god's word. >> the pastor grew there calvary emerald coast church from scratch. spread it through youtube. and by the time marie began attended tending, every service

filled up. >> they were a tight-knit family, that church. >> but now with marie gone they were caring for little grace. so, did the flanders have any idea what happened to marie? perhaps they knew who the father was. and where that abusive boyfriend might be found. and oh, yes, there was a story all right. >> coming up -- questions mount and leads are running out. it was time running out too? >> he searched it but there was nothing to search. it was clean. this case for sure, was an investigator's worst nightmare. >> when "dateline" continues. some mental health meds. and it's unlikely to improve without treatment. i felt like my movements were in the spotlight. #1-prescribed ingrezza is the only td treatment for adults that's always one pill, once daily. ingrezza 80 mg is proven to reduce

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keith morrison (voiceover): the calvary emerald coast >> the calvary emerald coast church of fort walton beach, florida church in fort walton beach florida was much more than a place to gather on sunday mornings. led by -- this place was a beacon of charity too. the pastor and his church sacrificed their own needs to send money to the victims of katrina. and when marie carlson needed help, they took her in too. >> that's what pastors do for the congregation. >> but now? -- >> i'm left with a missing person who's vanished off the earth. >> a week and a half after

marie vanished, or drove away, or whatever she did. the detectives went calling on the flanders, who said that they fully expected that marie would return soon. and this was not the first time that she took spur of the moment trips. >> not to the point where she would be reported to law enforcement as missing though. she came back. >> although they told detectives they were quite worried about marie's state of mind. >> they said that it was a down ward that spiral. >> they said that she was depressed? >> yes. >> marie could have wild mood swings, they knew that she had a diagnosed mood disorder. did they tell you that she was bipolar? >> yes, told me that she was bipolar, that she was taking medication that she was off her medication probably because of her giving birth to the child. >> but there was another prescription bottle too. >> and they also showed us a bottle that was empty, that was linked

to the fact that she had taken that medication and would use it to hurt herself. >> the day she left, james told detectives he was so worried about her state of mind, he stayed at home. >> james said that she was acting up and he didn't -- >> he was afraid the baby would -- >> yes. >> then, late that afternoon, said pastor james, marie said she was tired, went to lie down. tanya took the baby out shopping so marie could rest. the pastor said he waited around for a bit. talked to her briefly when she woke up and went out for a run. and when he returned, marie and her white mazda pick up truck were gone. strangely, the flanders said, marie had packed her bags but didn't take them. >> why would she take off and not take her bags with her? >> anyway, said the flanders, when she did not come back that day or the next, they drove around town looking for her. went to the airport. maybe she parked her car there? and flown away? did they find it?

>> they did. james said that he found it in a long term parking. >> at least, part of the mystery was solved, said the pastor. she must of flown off to visit someone. they took her pick up home. so, the mazda. what did you do about that car when you got your hands on it? >> we searched it but there was nothing to search. it was clean. >> they went to the airport. >> we checked the airlines, there was nothing. she didn't fly out. >> so, why would marie's car be at the airport if she didn't fly out of there? of course, she could be trying to hide her tracks from snoopy friends and family. or, what if someone else took the car to the airport. someone who wanted to make it look like she'd left town. rather fishy. then the detectives had an idea. you know the machine that spits out tickets when you enter an airport parking lot?

that very ticket goes back to the toll booth when you leave. >> keith and i went to the little toll booth where you give them your take it. >> maybe, thought the detectives, the parking ticket for must us -- mazda's would be there. but a more important question would be by whom. >> we were thinking it we would get a thumbprint, or a fingerprint, and we went through every single one of them until we found the one marie that's car had received. >> and yes, they got a print. but no, it was not clear enough to tell who's it was. then, another thought. >> hey, let's go pull up the surveillance video. and of course -- >> you looked at all of it. >> the video was not working during the time that we needed it. this case, for sure, was an investigator's worst nightmare. >> dead ends everywhere. >> yes. >> and weeks went by. no sign of marie anywhere. time to embrace the thought that they had all along.

and it was not a good one. >> keith and i both no longer believed we had a missing person. we believed that we were dealing with a homicide investigation. but this is the hardest homicide investigation you can be given, one without a body, and we didn't even have marie. >> coming up, the startling secret that marie kept from just about everyone. >> i went up and i put my hand on her stomach and i asked, what's going on with this? >> when dateline continues. before you decide... with the freestyle libre 2 system know your glucose level and where it's headed. no fingersticks needed. manage your diabetes with more confidence. and lower your a1c. the number one doctor prescribed cgm. freestyle libre 2. try it for free at freestylelibre.us

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stories that we're watching. patients and medical staff left gaza's largest hospital al-shifa saturday amid conflicting reports from health eventual's regarding who ordered an evacuation. these raley military denied that are trying to force people to evacuate. and, back here in the united states, former first lady rosalynn carter's family saying cheese entered a hospice care

at a home at the age of 96. former president jimmy carter, age 99, is also receiving hospice care at their -- and planes georgia. now back to dateline. >> welcome back to dateline, marie carlson disappeared without a trace. she did take her clothes or her baby. adding to the mystery marie's car was at the airport, but you never got on the plane. was she depressed, that's what the pastor and his wife she was living with thought. short on clues, the detectives thought they knew one thing, did marie not just vanish, and this missing persons case turned into a murder investigation. here is keith morrison with "secrets on the emerald coast". >> what a nest of puzzles. what happened to marie carlson? where did she go? did you go anywhere?

and what about grace, the baby she left behind, who, for example, was the father? churches tend to be beehives of gossip so the detectives asked around. >> she had a boyfriend, was involved in an abusive relationship. she was beat up. >> this is a member of the calvary emerald coast church. >> she did want to go back to the guy. and didn't want to keep the child. >> in other words, she was gonna have an abortion. but pastor flanders and his wife had strong views about abortion, and when they discovered her situation, they offered to help solve her dilemma. >> they were going to adopt the baby. >> the flanders had an older daughter, who always wanted an child, but one miscarriage after the other -- and, so as this church elder tell the detectives, the pastor and his wife came to an arrangement with marie. >> she would stay three months to nurse the baby and then the plan all along is that she would leave. that was my understanding from

before the baby was born. >> with the baby? >> no, the baby was a gift for the flanders. >> a gift? maybe. it was just like marie to be generous toward the couple who were so good to her. but to skeptical detectives, especially this brand-new mother, something about this story did not sound quite right. the father, for example, the fact that the alleged abusive guy didn't seem to exist. but then they talk to ex husband jeff and the story he heard, completely different. and it came directly from marie when she went to visit jeff shortly after getting pregnant. >> i put my head on her stomach and i said, what's going on with this? and she wasn't really showing. and her story at that time was, well i'm just being a surrogate. so we did a type of artificial insemination. >> well, well, well. the pastor was the sperm donor.

in this new story, marie's gift was to be the pastors artificially inseminated surrogate. but why the conflicting stories? to find, out the detectives consulted three special church ladies. tanya flanders closest confidants. >> we call them the inner circle. >> and the inner circle said, yes, tanya told them. but swore them to secrecy. but then, tanya gave up a little more. the method was really homemade. >> i remember them saying, oh it was with the turkey thingy. >> now she's got a secret. >> yeah at that point. >> at that point? the, yes that because tanya could not just leave it there. the next time, she admitted something very, very shocking. >> and tanya said, well we did it the old-fashioned way. >> james and marie had sex which, tanya told the ladies,

was okay with her. and as months passed and marie started showing, there was a baby shower. but not for marie, this baby shower was for tanya. she put a balloon under her shirt as a funny photo with marie. but if the story came out, it could threaten everything that she had built in the past. and as i got more, and more, and more into weird stuff. it was just that the stakes got higher? >> right. imagine the secrecy that the inner circle, that tanya told the truth, that it's james's baby. >> but no room for secrets in an investigation. the detectives invited james and tanya to voluntarily come in for a chat. but only tanya showed up. and here in this little room in

the sheriff's office, she let it all come out. about that night of sake and sex, when grace was conceived. >> yeah he had a little bit too. i was the only one that was sober. but yes, i was there. >> yes, in the room. but of course she was, said tanya. and almost casually. she revealed the heresy that, should it ever become public would ruin them. >> marie was going to move in and she would be number two. >> for a? wife or whatever you call them. >> sister wife. >> it was, in short, polygamy, or their homegrown version of it. tanya told detectives she understood the bargain very well. >> i've always seen a relationship as -- sex is not a relationship. a relationship is two people coming together. and sex is just a bonus. >> a very secret bonus, of course. kept from almost everyone. but inside the bubble of their

relationship, tanya said, they were happy. >> she goes, you know what? i am so glad that you are going to be raising grace. she said, i'm so glad that i'm gonna be able to do that with you. and i thought, you know, how cool is that? >> but then. then marie gave birth, and it wasn't cool for marie, not anymore. and certainly not adoption. >> every time we started to broach the subject with her, she did get withdrawn. >> so, maybe tanya would not get baby grace? maybe marie wanted it all, the baby and james, all for herself. that's what this member of the inner circle believed. >> but i -- did i hear that from marie, that marie wanted james. >> did tanya strike back somehow, fight for her marriage by getting rid of marie? listen to how church members

quote tanya's words. >> she's basically like, james would never be able to that but i could >> shockers? >> i told her, you are not capable of killing. her but tanya leans over and goes, he couldn't, but i could. >> so wouldn't that lead you like a bloodhound to? tanya she would have a motive? >>--. >> tanya, now the only mother figure in grace's life, did she know more than she was saying? did she do something? >> did someone in the church have a confession to make? coming up, a confrontation in the congregation. >> this is a, forgive my saying, come to jesus moment. >> it was the hardest thing i had ever had to do. >> and divine intervention. a sudden earth shaking tip. >> i remember getting that tip and thinking, no way. >> when dateline continues. n! but...what about your back? it's fineeeeeeee! [splash] before advil:

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think different. >> an attentive church goer might have noticed the intuition of an idea and the pastor when -- he mentioned a couple of races in the old testament that seem to approve, somehow, of a polygamy. >> he wanted to justify his relationship to everybody else, through a biblical sense. >> so he went to the old testament and pulled up those few lines that suggested polygamy? >> that's correct. >> if it was -- one and the very practical polygamy and the home of the pastor was carefully under wraps. so did tanya worry about what might happen?

>> that's what she was covering up. she had to protect james and protect their world. >> did she do something to marie to protect james? two months after marie she disappeared, the detectives got permission to look at the cell phone records of all three of them. would they prove tanya was with marie when she vanished and, thus, did something to? her >> cell phone tower information from the area -- >> no. nowhere near marie. so, they check the cell towers for james's phone, and where do you know? when marie sent that last text message saying she was leaving town. both her phone and the pastures pinging off at the same cell tower two blocks from his

house. and when marie's was drop mazda was dropped at the airport -- >> we had james's phone touching near the airport. why would his phone be near the airport? >> well either james innocently drove marie to the airport, or he drove her car there to cover up a crime. no way to prove it either way, so they were stuck again. which is when jason, the youth pastor, remember him? out of the blue, jason came to call. he had something the detectives needed to hear, he said. it takes a certain amount of courage. >> absolutely. we would have never known had jason never come forward. >> known what? the secret incident that got junior pastor jason involved. it happens shortly after marie disappeared. will it happen after james activist church elder for help. >> i said what's going on? does this have to do with marie what? >> he said i can't tell. you he never once had anything to me else but, it's bad. >> james seemed suicidal, said

the elder. so he called a doctor friend, and the doctor committed the preacher to a psychiatric ward. for ten days. during which time, jason took over preacher duties. but then, jason hurd things, not about what happened to marie, but about the polygamy. another church leaders confronted him and tanya. this was a come to jesus moment. >> this was the hardest thing i ever had to do was to confront my pastor -- >> your mentor? >> sure. >> and james admitted it. he had been sleeping with two women in the same house. and then, youth pastor jason told the detectives, in that cloistered setting, james kept talking. and told a terrible story. >> him and marie have had a

physical altercation before she went missing. and she had scratched him on his arms. >> james insisted marie was still alive the last time he saw her. >> i was in shock of everything. >> that was it. he could not continue his pastoring, james would have to resign. he announced that he and tanya were leaving town. >> they were supposed to leave the following morning to say goodbye to some church members and lo and behold around 12:00 12:30, they got in that truck and went to arizona. >> they fled. >> like thieves in the night, with baby grace. it was a few days after they left when jason went to the police to tell his disturbing story. >> they had a physical run in, the day that she went missing. >> then a piece of luck. before they left, what marie's friend k asked if they gave her was marie's computer. the bad news was that it had been erased. but -- >> i brought it to the sheriff 's department for them to take a look. >> we had our forensic tech

reanalyze the computer. and it gave us a beautiful copy of her phone download that she had done when she backed her phone up. >> but maybe it was not so lucky. there were thousands of text messages, but they were an unreadable jumble of symbols and words. >> this particular coin -- >> though, look at this? marie shot this video that did survive, showing the pastor hocking gold and silver online. apparently while running the church. >> over $500. let me tell, you that's exciting stuff. >> was james just a pastor or a part-time flim-flam man? >> so this is where things stood when an omnibus tip came in. startling, if true, it would solve the case. >> and in the tip it says that james buried her in the backyard. >> that's some tip, what? >> i remember getting that have

been thinking, no way. who would kill someone and bury them in their own backyard? >> it could be bogus of course, just another false lead. but they were hopeful. >> we brought cadaver dogs and we didn't find anything. >> nothing. >> no. >> nobody. so, what happened to marie one? >> more months went by, police kept trying to speak to james but got no response. >> hello, this is -- james. >> and after a whole year, they tried again and he picked up. >> i had been asked by our attorney not to talk to anyone without him there. >> and he did talk, he talked for two hours in fact from his car. making it sound like he was the victim. >> what emotions have i felt over the past year and a month, you know? anger at marie for going and not letting us know what's

going on. and then back to anger at myself for not making a phone call to get her help. and anger at myself forever letting the relationship became when it came. >> the pastor said that he knew he was the prime suspect. >> i am terrified of the prospect of marie taking her own life. and if she did -- and i pray she didn't -- i hope she did it very, very, very, very, very, very, very far away. because if they find one little bone that somehow could be connected with her and it's my fault. i'm sure it's the way people would look at it. >> you know where marie is? >> no. i do not, if i did i would go get her. >> did you kill marie carlson? >> no. >> and that was that. they were stalled. murray was missing. and the case was getting very cold. >> coming up -- new revelations from the pastor. >> they were sending pornographic photos, back and forth. from the church.

>> and then answer at last to the biggest mystery of all, where was marie? >> they passed me a note saying i miss her. >> i was devastated. the guilt, the feeling that i could've found her. six months after she was reported missing. >> when dateline continues. it's tough to breathe and tough to keep wondering if this is as good as it gets. but trelegy has shown me that there's still beauty and breath to be had. because with three medicines in one inhaler, trelegy keeps my airways open and prevents future flare-ups. and with one dose a day, trelegy improves lung function so i can breathe more freely all day and night. trelegy won't replace a rescue inhaler for sudden breathing problems. tell your doctor if you have a heart condition or high blood pressure before taking it. do not take trelegy more than prescribed. trelegy may increase your risk of thrush,

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age. it just gets colder. when state attorney bill eddins wasn't optimistic it was ever would ever be solved. what chance did he have? >> i really felt it was about a 50 50 chance of it been solved. >> eddins decided one of his most experience prosecutors, angela mason to work on, it. >> she was not an optimistic either. >> i was certain vulnerable in that i didn't have a body. i was also vulnerable with the tanya element. that people thought she could be a suspect. >> and then, three years after marie disappeared, the most amazing thing happened. marie's computer yielded to a new forensics program. and out spilled with blushing clarity text messages between marie and james. >> i love you. i love you so much. and getting graphic details of what he wants to do with her. >> kind of pornographic? >> pornographic even to the point they were sending pornographic photos. >> with each other? >> from the church. >> some things are hard to see.

oh, and, most important -- everything stopped the day she disappeared. >> no credit cards, no phones. i thought that was strong evidence that she was in fact dead and not in fact missing. >> and her last conversation with a family member was -- >> she went out of the circumstances she was in. but she wasn't really behind it. >> and then, there was this. >> one of those sermons posted on youtube just a month before marie vanished. and now in the evidence file. >> whenever someone is backstabbing me, lying about me, gossiping about me, trying to tear me down or whatever -- you know what i want to do? my feeling say choke the life out of them. [laughs] >> is that what the pastor did to marie? >> the detectives spelled out their case. circumstantial, difficult. but the prosecutors bought it.

and james flanders charged with second degree murder. persistence paid off. >> we were four and a half years in. most people would've given up by now. >> but as the pastor waited in jail for his trial, his attorney and former church member glenn swiatek was optimistic. >> what did you think your chances were if you went to trial? >> i did not believe they would have second degree murder. they didn't have anybody. >> maybe not. that as the pastor and his attorney looked at the evidence that might put him in prison for life, just before the trial, they made a deal. the state reduced is charged from second degree murder to manslaughter. and james agreed to tell them what he did to marie and where he put her. marie's family grudgingly agreed. >> that was the hardest thing. but i wanted to know where my sister was. i didn't want to go years and years and years and not know. >> as much as i just absolutely hated to agree to it, i knew i was that was probably the only way.

>> first, was as part of the deal, the pastor told the story of marie. of the polygamy arrangement. >> it was as if she was another wife. okay? although we never had a ceremony, or anything like that. >> he said marie even had a name for their relationship. >> marie called it a throuple. >> throuple. then the pastor offered his version of that last awful night. he claimed that marie was in a downward spiral, mentally, and erupted after he told her she should be hospitalized for depression. >> she hit me in the chest and i grabbed ahold of her. and just hugged as tight as i could. in the scuffle, we fell down on the floor. when we hit the floor, we hit it hard. when i realized something was a right, i rolled her over -- she wasn't breathing. >> a fatal bear hug?

not possible. thought nesli. and then she braced for the answer she'd waited five years to hear. >> did you bury marie in the backyard? >> i'll tell you exactly where it's at. >> is that where you buried her? >> yes. >> and at that point, the detective got up and left the room. >> nesli past me a note that said i missed her. >> i was pretty devastated. i was in that backyard in 2012. >> not like you didn't look. >> yeah, but, you know human nature. you still have the guilt. the feeling of i could've found her. six months after she was reported missing. >> the pastor insisted that tanya was not around. was shopping. knew nothing. >> did you ever get her buried before tanya came back? >> oh, yeah. yeah. >> do you wonder whether tanya had more to do with this? >> i think that will always be in the back of our minds. but, you know. i think she may have known more

than she wants to say. >> but tanya was never charged at her defense attorney said she was truly shocked by james 's confession. >> i can tell you as a matter of fact, from having to tell her what happened, she did not know. >> later that afternoon, nesli escorted james flanders into his former backyard, where he marked with a little flags, the spot where he buried marie carlson five years earlier. and then he fell on the ground, crying. and told her, i'm sorry. what an act, thought nesli. it took hours, but finally, almost five feet deep, wrapped in a blanket, they found what was left of marie. >> i was shaking. i was crying so much. i don't think i've ever cried so loud. >> nesli and prosecutor angela mason went, to.

>> it's my fault. >> back in court that afternoon, james flanders sentenced to 15 years. with good behavior, he'll be out in 11. free to join tanya arizona and grace, whose mother he killed. >> he's going to get to have a life after he's done. marie is gone forever. she doesn't get a life. especially with her kids. which is for most mothers, the world. >> jeff carlson had to tell his daughter, paris, her mom was not coming back. >> it was not easy. what do you say? you don't know how to prepare them for the future of living with this. he deprived her of her mother. >> later, marie's family and many others, gathered for a celebration of marie's life. they did her favorite thing. the sang karaoke and nowadays,

when marie's daughter, paris, comes to visit her cousin's daughter. the two sit down at the piano and play. make music, just like their mothers, years ago. and grace? >> i want to tell her all about her mom. it's one of those where i just -- i want to show her your mother really did love you. >> maybe someday she'll know about that uncontainable woman, who will she stayed, brought joy, marie. >> that's all for this edition of "dateline". i'm andrea canning. thanks for watching. >> >> we begin with the effort to rescue more than 200 hostages kidnapped by hamas six weeks ago. today it, israeli