week in the standard. the law has said that no federal money pays for abortions. it has been the law of the land and they're trying to change it. >> whatever the merits are, as ruben said and as you're saying now, this is just a fight that president obama does not need. there are other problems with the health care bill. first of all, what it's going to look like, is there going to be a true public option, how are you going to pay for this $1 trillion program? you don't need to add in a hot-button issue like abortion. to most americans, abortion is a settled issue. >> the right to an abortion. not payment for it. >> don't bother us about it. >> he goes over to see the pope and says they're going to reduce the number of abortions. in that same week, he pushes to subsidize abortion. he can't do that. >> i think last week is a week the white house would like to have back. he had certain responsibilities, but he did moscow, rome, ghana. at the same time he's saying, i want to have this health care bill on my desk by august. it's mid-july.

it was sort of a week where the eye got taken off the ball. >> i think he's got to drop all unnecessary features and go with the substance and follow the rahm emanuel rule. rube next, you take it from here. the rahm emanuel rule, the only thing we cannot accept is defeat here. he's got to get the core of this bill through. he can't afford the trappings like abortion and paying for abortion with something that's considered a critical health issue. abortion is another matter, it seems to me. but your thoughts? >> it seems like the strategy is, as rahm emanuel would say, don't accept defeat, keep talking about how you're not going to derail this, we're going to get this done, but bush made that mistake with regard to immigration. he treated it as if it were a done deal. and people don't like hearing that. it takes congress and says, what you do isn't important and there's a parallel here. likewise, obama on health care, they've got to be positive, but they've got to understand and be respectful for congress. stop saying it's a done deal. it's not a done deal. >> okay, great. thank you very much, roger simon. thanks, ruben nafrette.

"countdown with keith olbermann" starts right now. which of these stories will you be talking about tomorrow? the confirmation hearings, confirmation that the senior republican is deliberately, knowingly twisting sonia sotomayor's words. words which condemned judging based on personal experience, which he pretends were words endorsing judging based on personal experience. >> philosophy can't impact your judging. i think it's much more likely to reach full flower if you sit on the supreme court. >> confirmation, the dishonesty of jeff sessions, senator from alabama. and a judge's calm, plotting, almost too gentle effort to disprove his lying. >> i do not believe that any

ethnic, racial, or gender group has an advantage in sound judgment. dick cheney's got a secret. now "the washington post" confirms it was an assassination squad kept from congress because it failed, utterly. but cia officials tell "time" magazine it might have been another illegal use of the agency to spy on americans. what the hell, this is dick cheney, you're probably both right. >> the american people need to understand the very serious and grave damage this is doing to our intelligence ability. >> but you are liz and dick cheney, you don't have any intelligence ability. sarah palin of "the washington post." an op-ed on cap and trade. is this the higher calling serving alaskans, shilling for big oil? and is america crawling with cat people, stinking with centaurs? up to our butts in man bear pig? fortunately, senator sam

brownback has introduced the human/animal prohibition act of 2009, to ban the animal of human-animal hybrids. those part-human, part-animal creatures which are created in laboratories that blur the line between species. is this a huge problem? enough for mary landrieu to co-sponsor and others to sign on as sponsors? was the island dr. morrow and nobody freaking told me? >> lab-grown man-goat robert bore. >> wow, apparently it's worse than i suspected. all that and more now on "countdown." >> all those creatures. good evening from new york. according to the american bar association and others, she might be the most qualified judge nominated to the supreme court in 70 years. according to the ranking republican on the senate judiciary committee, who himself was denied a federal judgeship by the republican controlled senate judiciary committee two

decades for being a racist, she is nothing more than a reverse racist. even after she fully explained herself to him. again. our fifth story in the countdown, the confirmation hearings for judge sonia sotomayor, morphing today into the confirmation hearings of the prejudice, the narrowness, and the intellectual dishonesty of republican senator jeff sessions of alabama. near the start of today's questions, the judge saying of her often-misquoted "wise latina" statement, quote, no words i have ever spoken or written have ever exchanged so much attention. her exchanges with the republican members of the judiciary committee would bear that out, most especially, a lengthy dialogue with ranking republican sessions of alabama. >> i assume, senator, that you are referring to a remark that i made in a duke law student dialogue. i think if my speech is heard outside of the minute and a half that youtube presents and its

full context examined, that it is very clear that i was talking about the policy ramifications of precedent, and never talking about appellate judges or courts making the policy that congress makes. >> judge alan, just say i don't think it's that clear. >> true, senator sessions. if you do all of your research on youtube, the senator was especially fond of quoting sotomayor back to her. >> but you repeatedly made this statement. quote, i accept the proposition -- i accept the proposition -- that a difference there will be, by the presence of women and people of color on the bench, and that my experiences affect the facts i choose to see as a judge. how is it appropriate for a judge ever to say that they will choose to see some facts and not others?

>> it's not a question of choosing to see some facts or another, senator. i didn't intend to suggest that and in the wider context, what i believe i was -- the point i was making was that our life experiences do permit us to see some facts and understand them more easily than others. but in the end, you're absolutely right. that's why we have appellate judges. >> senator sessions also seeking to discredit judge sotomayor by misquoting back to her past instances in which sotomayor had reportedly taken issue with the views of another judge named miriam cedarbaum, which is when perfectly analogized by a blogger, judge sotomayor experienced a real-life version of what woody allen created in "annie hall," her version of the marshall moment. >> in the past, you've repeatedly said this -- i wonder

whether achieving the goal of impartiality is possible at all in even most cases and i wonder whether by ignoring our differences, as women, men, or people of color, we do a disservice to both the law and society. i will just note, you made that statement in individual speeches about seven times over a number of years' span, and it's concerning to me. so i would just say to you, i believe in judge cedarbaum's formulation. >> my friend, judge cedarbaum is here this afternoon, and we are good friends, and i believe that we both approach judging in the same way, which is looking at the facts of each individual case and applying the law to those facts. >> happen to have mr. mccluen right here. and now you're getting an idea why senator sessions was rejected in this committee in 1996 for a federal judgeship. despite sotomayor's many explanations that included the full context of her speech and otherwise answering senator session' half-hour's worth of

questions, the man who could not win confirmation from the committee, apparently hearing only what he wanted to hear. >> so philosophy can't impact your judging, i think it's much more likely to reach full flower if you sit on the supreme court than it will on a lower court where you're subject to review by your colleagues in the higher court. >> the democratic chairman of the committee, senator leahy of vermont, then raising the ricci case. judge sotomayor's rulings in the new haven firefighter's reverse discrimination lawsuit, having been overturned two weeks ago by the supreme court. >> how do you react to the supreme court's decision in the new haven firefighters' case? >> the issue was not what we would do or not do, because we were following precedent.

the panel concluded that the city's decision in that particular situation was lawful under established law. the supreme court in looking and reviewing that case applied a new standard. >> when senator sessions brought up ricci, the leaders of the committee arguing with each other. >> you must have agreed with it and agreed with the opinion and stayed with it until it was reversed by the court. let me just mention this. in 1997 -- >> is that a question or -- >> well, that was a response to some of what you said, mr. chairman, because you misrepresented, factually, what the -- how the posture of the case. in 19 -- >> i obviously will disagree with that, but we'll have a chance to vote on this issue. >> if yesterday, meanwhile, senator graham could have been credited with a rare republican moment of honesty, today the south carolina senator apparently having eaten a big old plate of crazy at lunch by raising anonymous criticism from lawyers about the temperament of

the seemingly always calm, ever-deliberate nominee. >> i do ask tough questions at oral arguments. >> are you the only one that asks tough questions in oral arguments? >> no, no, not at all. i can only explain what i'm doing. which is, when i ask lawyers tough questions, it's to give them an opportunity to explain their positions on both sides and to persuade me that they're right, lots of lawyers who are unfamiliar with the process in the second circuit find that tough bench difficult and challenging. >> if i may interject, judge, they find you difficult and challenging more than your colleagues. i never liked appearing before a judge that i thought was a bully.

do you think you have a temperament problem? >> no, sir. >> do i have to compare it to john mccain's temperament? and if you had miguel estrada in a sonia sotomayor confirmation hearing drinking games, hope you enjoyed your two-day bender. possibly the most absurd of several republican strategies officially entering into the record of the sotomayor hearings, complaints about the democrats having successfully filibustered the nomination of one of president bush's appellate court nominees apparently because he, too, had a hispanic name. >> and i'm puzzled why mr. estrada keeps coming up. mr. estrada had no judicial experience. the nominee before us has considerable judicial experience. mr. estrada wouldn't answer questions presented to him. this nominee, i think, has been very straightforward -- >> well, we should remember that mr. estrada is not the nominee here. just as with all the statements

made about president obama's philosophy, his confirmation hearing was last november. >> let's turn now to "newsweek" magazine's senior washington correspondent and political columnist and msnbc political analyst, howard fineman. howard, good evening. >> hi, keith. >> overall picture, first. those who remember the name of the democratic senator john stennis who was very hard of hearing and often asked for things to be repeated because, frankly, he admitted, he couldn't hear every word that was said, are the republicans on this committee trying to pretend to be him? it's as if they are only hearing every third thing that has been said. >> well, i think the point here is that their attempts to really hang the "wise latina" remark and speech around judge sotomayor -- i was in the committee room all day today, it didn't feel like they really got to her. just the opposite, as a matter of fact. very carefully, very well rehearsed, very well thought through.

she followed an old practice i know as a lawyer called confession and avoidance. you admit the problem and explain it with other facts. she said that the remark was a bad one because it gave the wrong impression. she said that she would not say that any ethnic, religious, or racial group or gender had any special purchase on justice. and most important of all, she repeatedly cited, as did her democratic allies, the more than 3,000 cases that she's been involved in as a district court judge and as an appellate judge in which there is no evidence and the republicans had no evidence that she was somehow allowing her biases or her personal emotions or her pride in being a latina to somehow affect her judgment. they don't have that case to make. this was all they had and it didn't feel in the courtroom like they really made it very well. >> did this other judge that

they invoked work, and i mean jose cabranes, because at one point, senator sessions discussed her colleague in the second circuit and said, had you voted with judge cabranes, who was a conservative judge, himself of puerto rican ancestry, had you voted with him, you could have changed that case. how poorly executed was that strategy when it produces, in an attempt to prove racism, it instead seems to prove racism on the part of the person asking the question? >> i've got to say, keith, and this is perhaps a little mean, but it reminded me of the terrible press release put out by the swim club in philadelphia about changing the complexion of the pool. it was way too revealing, and even some republicans staffers were shaking their heads at that, because the point of that about cabranes, her fellow judge on the second circuit, had nothing to do with his ethnicity whatsoever. and thus, senator sessions was kind of betraying the kind of race-based thinking that he was criticizing sotomayor for and it did undercut his credibility at that point.

>> and also, we quoted this characterization in the blog about the moment from "annie hall," just the mechanics, leave out racism, leave out political wisdom of doing this, the wise alabamans in the audience, leave it all out, just talk about political stagecraft. isn't it imperative if you're going to invoke another judge and say, i agree with that judge, don't you think you should know whether that judge is a really good friend of the judge you're trying to humiliate and is sitting behind her and she can turn around and point to her and make it look like you shouldn't be in that room unless you bought a ticket. >> that's emphatic of the point that the republicans really aren't putting up a big fight about this. you don't hear anything from the rnc or very little, you don't hear anything from the republican leadership in the senate. the republicans in this

committee are not particularly well organized and not that thorough, it seems to me. whereas the white house and the democrats are really on the muscle here. they're issuing press releases every ten minutes. they're running it like they run a spin room in a presidential debate. they're really on it, the republicans are not. they're really a little confused. the feeling in the room is one that they're sort of, to some extent, going through the motions, however odious those motions sometimes are. >> also, they probably didn't tell senator sessions that's that was what the idea here was. howard fineman of "newsweek" and msnbc, thank you, good night. that there are no senate cheney hearings going on defies all logic. "the washington post" now confirming that the program cheney demanded the cia keep secret from congress was an assassination squad and the reason he demanded that it kept secret was what we guessed at here last night was that it was lousy and ineffective. but "time" magazine is offering a comforting alternative. maybe it was just a cheney-controlled in the cia charter domestic spy operation. that's a relief. g b

remember, the cia never lied to speaker pelosi because the cia does not lie. so when the cia admitted it kept an operation secret from

congress for eight years at the behest of dick cheney and liz cheney said that wasn't true, didn't she just say the cia lies? later in the middle of a million crisis, these are the senators who know what's important. brownback, landrieu, bunning, byrd, kyl, martinez, mccain, voinovich and ricker. the sponsors of a vital legislation that will forever outlaw spider-men and manimals. oh, how i wish i were kidding, ahead on "countdown." ♪ i'm cool like that, i'm cool like that ♪ [ female announcer ] tide coldwater. it's specially formulated to clean in cold better than the other brand does in warm. ♪ cool like that and by washing in cold, you can save up to $10 on your energy bill with every 100 oz bottle. and that's cool. tide coldwater. get out of the old and into the cold. ♪ i'm cool like that

garth, you're up. hold on, i'm at capitalone.com picking a photo... for my credit card. here's one from my prom. oh, what memories. how 'bout one from our golf outing? ( shouting ) i know, maybe one of my first-born son. dad, mom says the boys gotta go. personalize your card by uploading... your own photo at capitalone.com.

at some point in every labored right-wing contortion, the fabricators and spinners

twist themselves around to such an extent that they find themselves with their metaphorical head up their metaphorical butt. our fourth story tonight. first house speaker nancy pelosi explained it was plausible that she did not know about cia waterboarding because sometimes the cia lies to congress. the right wing, which loves the government, said the cia never lies to anybody. then the new cia director told congress dick cheney ordered the cia to lie. leaving daughter liz cheney today to argue that that's not true. in other words, the cia is lying. well played, madam. miss cheney filibustering on msnbc today, claiming there is no evidence her father told the cia to keep congress in the dark. the word of the cia, of course, not evidence to her. >> was there any attempt by your father, in any way, to keep the cia from telling congress information they should have heard? >> well, i think you have to look, for example, at what general hayden said yesterday. general hayden, the former director of the cia came out publicly on the record and said

he was under absolutely no restraint from briefing congress and that he had a series of triggers about when congress needed to be briefed and that those triggers were not met with this particular program. i think it does a disservice to former directors of the cia to politicize this issue and i think it does a disservice to the bush administration, frankly. we kept the nation safe for eight years. >> first, miss cheney, general hayden became director of the cia in 2006. that would be two years after george tenet of the cia shelled the program. and the story he was speaking of was, quote, speaking only of his time at the agency and not of the early period after 2001 when cheney might have interveneded. third, miss cheney, you have said before that democrats politicized this by leaking details of the cia program. no, cia officials themselves brought this to panetta's attention. the democrats revealed only that they had been lied to. who revealed the details of the program?

the intelligence officials did. that also did not stop cohort karl rove from repeating the same mantra that congress is not to be trusted with classified information, even though rove and cheney were at the center of leaking the covert operative valerie plame's identity. former white house council alberto gonzales also not denying mr. panetta's story, but claiming he can't talk about it because it's classified. circumspect now after the bush justice department had found out that he mishandled highly classified documents. but fourth, miss cheney, and most obscenely, you kept us safe for eight years? you let 3,000 people die. your father delayed his first long-requested meeting about al qaeda, wait until september 10th. your president told the cia agent who tried to warn him about al qaeda on august 6th that he was just covering his ass, you know, lying. let's bring in msnbc political analyst, eugene robinson, also associate editor and pulitzer prize winning columnist of "the washington post." eugene, good evening. >> evening, keith. >> the right wing is now saying

the cia is lying when it lied because the cia never lies? >> this is like one of those logic puzzles. you know, i am lying now, but you can't be lying, you must be telling the truth. it's a ridiculous position, i think, that is being taken here by liz cheney and one supposes, by dick cheney, although he's been talking about everything else, he doesn't seem to want to talk about this incident himself. but the thing that drives me a bit nuts about this whole thing is the way that cheney and rove are creating the impression that the minute you brief the intelligence committees as required by law, everything that you tell them automatically leaks. that, obviously, is not the case. it is simply not true. and they're creating some impression to justify what

seemed to be an egregious violation of the statute in this case, which was to brief congress on intelligence activities the way the law requires. >> and the house intelligence committee according to the associated press today asked the cia for documents, which would pave the way to investigate both exactly what this program was and how it was, in fact, concealed from congress. you appeared with miss cheney on msnbc this morning. was it your sense that that is exactly what she was trying to prevent happening? >> my impression was that the creation of this kind of wall of smoke was to prevent a further investigation of exactly what happened. did her father, in fact, tell the cia not to disclose this program to the committees as was required by law? and is that not, or would that not have been a violation of law that would leave him open to some sort of sanction? you can't just -- there's no point in having a law if the vice president -- not just the president, but the vice president has no constitutional authority, really, to do

anything, can just ignore it. it's outrageous, to me. >> your newspaper today reported that the bush administration kept this from congress because the program, the al qaeda assassination program or whatever it was called, that dick cheney's got a secret program. they kept it from congress because it didn't get anywhere. "time" magazine says the bush cia decided to go after al qaeda, or that if they went after al qaeda this way, it would be too risky. does this not sound in real life, from the pages of recent history, exactly like what the gop always accuses democrats of being, in caricature, soft and incompetent when faced with actual terrorists? >> well, it does sound if it may be this -- the gang involved with this program couldn't shoot straight. but, again, we don't know, really, what it was. presumably, there are a lot of intelligence programs that get started that don't work out quite the way they were intended and that's to be expected if you're going to have a cia, that

not everything it's going to try to do is going to work. but if you're going to have a cia, you do have to run it according to the law and you have to brief the intelligence committees and that's really the violation here. and all this other stuff, you know, is ancillary, including this -- we kept you safe for eight years, well, not quite eight years, as you pointed out. but that is besides the point. it's not the ends justifying the means, it's the law requiring actions that were not taken. >> well said. eugene robinson, pulitzer-prize winning columnist of "the post" and of msnbc when we're lucky enough to have him. thanks for boeing here. >> great to be here, keith. did you know the berlin wall was made out of giant dominos? it's true. and an army reserve major is suing to keep president obama from sending him to afghanistan because, see, obama isn't really president, see. the worst person in the world ahead on "countdown." woohoo!

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"bests" in a moment. if you're going to smuggle stuff in your golf clubs, at least you know the best-known of golf terms. the coincidence is hard to believe, but on this date in 1927 was born john chancellor who anchored "nbc nightly news" from 1970 to 1982. and also was born douglas edwards who anchored cbs evening news. and was born george putnam who

delivered comments on the dumont evening news and was one of ted knight's models. let's play "oddball." we begin in germany, where this year marks the 20th anniversary of the fall of the berlin wall. to commemorate the historic reunification of the germany capital, it will be recreated by toppling 1,000 mattress-sized dominos. this is a dry run featuring just 100 dominos. in november, the full thousand will line the route of the old wall. each domino will be custom painted by german high school students, students who only know about the wall from what they read in textbooks. these kids weren't even born in 1989, when ronald reagan personally took a sledgehammer to the wall while he whistled "winds of change."

to auction wln -- to auckland, new zealand, where we meet logan campbell, who looks like he finished 16th for his country at last year's olympic beijing games, but there's much more to his story. desperate for the funds for the return to the london olympics, campbell has opened his own brothel. he expects london to cost twice the $120,000 he spent to get to beijing and this time his parents are unwilling to foot the bill, but they are on board with the whore house. licensed prostitution is legal in new zealand. still his country has to pick him for the team. this may or may not happen. tune in to see if new zealand lets the male madame play in the games in london. only on the networks of nbc. okay, i'm fired. the palin higher calling was to shill for big oil? evidently, from "the washington post" op-ed she wrote. and senators brownback and landrieu not shown in your picture leading the fight the prevent the creation of human/pig hybrid people porkers. first, "countdown's" best persons in the world. humans only.

the number three best honest criminal. unnamed pistol-wielding stickup man at the bank on tom ballparkway. he and his shotgun bearing partner made off with an unnamed amount of cash. he said, i'm only doing this to eat. they're not letting me work. number two best dumb criminal, katie elya drier, drug mule. arriving from montego bay, jamaica, with what turned out to be a kilo of cocaine. customs officials became suspicious when they asked her about her golf game. what's your handicap, they asked. she didn't know what they meant. dateline, austin, texas. best george orwell impersonation. the state board's members who have proposed the following revisions to social study standards and textbooks in texas. in the list of americans who changed the course of history, replace thurgood marshall with sam houston. on colonial history delete all references to anne hutchinson.

from transformational leaders of the 20th century, insert the reverend billy graham for participation in the democratic process. drop union activist cesar chavez. he's hardly the kind of role model who ought to be held up for our children, wrote one of the reviewers, reverend peter marshall. of course not. because televangelists mean more to this country than those who tried to end the virtual slavery of my grant slave workers. (laughing through computer) good night, buddy. good morning, dad. (announcer) oreo. milk's favorite cookie.

when john mccain called sarah palin one of america's greatest energy expert, it was not because of her bs in communications, it was not because of her experience as a sportscaster. her energy expertise began with a spot on an alaska oil and gas commission in 2004, a job she quit after less than one year. our third story on the countdown, did the higher calling for which palin just

quit as governor include going back into the energy business in the role of shill? she wrote an op-ed piece in today's "washington post" using the "sky is falling scare tactic" to make her attack on cap and trade policy. too bad the facts got in the way of talking points. palin wrote, i am deeply concerned about president obama's cap and trade energy plan. the americans hit hardest will be those already struggling to make ends meet. but according to the congressional budget office, low-income people would end up paying less for energy under that obama plan. she wrote that job losses due to cap and trade would be certain and even more american jobs would be threatened under the rising cost of doing business under the cap and tax plan. according to the center for american progress, the obama plan would create more than 7 billion jobs and help every state in the country. even alaska? yes, even alaska. this as a cbs news poll shows that most americans think the governor resigned not for the good of her state but for the

good of sarah palin. 52% saying she did it for her political future, more saying she did it for herself, than for alaska. and on that note, let's bring in chris hayes. washington editor for "the nation" magazine. as i understand it, from what the governor has been saying in her resignations and postscripts, there was a higher calling, it would enable her to better serve alaskans. there was no cannibalism involved, no pun on the word "served." is this it? what was in "the post" today. is she turning into a big oil shill? >> well, i think transforming herself into a kind of polemical figure of the reaction narrow right, ideologically, and also trying to create some patina of substantive expertise. i think that's why you have the op-ed in "the washington post." there's some general sense that she knows something about energy, since she comes from a state that produces a tremendous amount of energy. i think this was kind of her first step to try to create an image of the post-governor sarah palin, who's sort of an expert

that muses on national issues. >> now, the op in op-ed could have stood for facts optional here. is the next logical stop here actual spokesmanship? is she going to be doing tv ads against cap and trade? if i'm that actress, brooke alexander, that does the energy tomorrow ads and she smoothly tells us we have to drill for oil right through all the bunnies and through grandma's house's floor, should i try to get my old job back hosting soap opera highlights? >> that wouldn't be crazy to me if she were to end up doing that. one of the reasons she hinted that legal costs are such -- when you are a figure like sarah palin, and this is across the ideological spectrum and partisan divide, there's a lot of money to be made on the speaking circuit. there are people out there that are going to pay sarah palin tons of money, six figures, for sure, to come speak to them. and there's a lot of money sloshing around right now, the world of right-wing opposition, particularly corporate

opposition, to things like health care, domestically, and climate change legislation. there's a lot of money to be had there and there's a whole sort of cottage industry that's been set up on the right in corporate america to oppose those kinds of reforms. that's a place that seems like kind of a natural space for her to occupy. >> and you can get to that six-figure range with about a morning's work if you're doing a tv studio, cutting an ad, even an issue ad for somebody like energy tomorrow or whatever. put this in context, though. the other thing in the cbs news poll, more remarkable than all of the numbers that we've looked at, overall favorable view of governor palin right now is 23%. the question was, would palin have the ability to be an effective president? no, 65%. yes, 22%. and among republicans, yes 33%, no, 51%. what could she do to change those numbers or is that no longer part of this equation? >> politics is remarkable insofar as is the capacity for

self-transformation tends to be endless. it's hard to close a door on anyone. i think that there are things she can do. the most important thing for her is to create some perception of credibility, even if that's detached from actual expertise, and that's what we saw with the op-ed. keep in mind, 33% sounds like a very low number, and it is, obviously, if you were running a campaign or an election against one other opponent, but when you're talking about how you get to the nomination of the republican party, you have a kind of checkers situation, where you have to win iowa or win new hampshire early on and that's a field with five or six candidates. you need a small number of very committed supporters. the intensity of preference if the republican base is strong enough, even if she's not overwhelmingly popular in the beginning, she has a shot early on. >> to the other point, let's never forget, ronald reagan, your host of general electric theater. chris hayes of "the nation," as always, thanks for your time. >> thank you, keith.

the united states senate will soon take up legislative vital to the prevention of the spread of genetically engineered man-cows. seriously. and newt gingrich's plan to topple the regime in iran by sabotaging that nation's only gas refinery. what do you mean it has nine gas refineries? oops. and when rachel joins you at the top of the hour, her special guest colonel lawrence wilkerson on dick cheney's ability to keep a secret cia program -- i don't think that's the right tape -- there is he -- secret from congress. in the history of professional tennis. so i've come to this court to challenge his speed. ...on the internet. i'll be using the 3g at&t laptopconnect card. he won't. so i can book travel plans faster, check my account balances faster. all on the go. i'm bill kurtis and i'm faster than andy roddick. (announcer) "switch to the nations fastest 3g network" "and get the at&t laptopconnect card for free".

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"worst," newt gingrich, super genius has a plan to topple ahmadinejad by destroying iran's only gas refinery. until the interviewer reveals they have nine gas refineries. and a major suing to avoid going to afghanistan because he says obama is not really president. that's why you don't want to get sent to afghanistan. and the senator dedicated to keeping you safe from the terror that is, the prospect of genetically engineered

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first, "countdown's" number two story, tonight's worst persons in the world. lebron to gingrich, the correct american policy towards iran should be about special ops and midnight raids and sabotagy. not exactly bombing iran's oil refineries. quote, i called for sabotage, not bombing. fundamental difference. the only purpose of sabotaging them would be to create a gasoline-led crisis to try to replace the regime. i'm against using tactics that don't have any strategic meaning. whereupon mr. lewis said, you precipitate by provoking a gas crisis by black ops sabotage. the interviewers laughed at gingrich. and gingrich suggested iran has only the one gas refinery, which he and rambo would have to sabotagy and someone had to break it to him that it actually has nine refineries. the runner-up, the right-wing media. little bonus here. when the state used the public records request to get e-mails sent to and from the governor

mark sanford while he was hiking the old appalachian trail, e-mails from news conservative outlets trying to suck up to sanford from a right wing tv host. having known the governor for years and even worked with him when he would host radio shows for me, i find this story and the media frenzy surrounding it to be absolutely ridiculous. please give him my best. from a staffer at "the washington times," if you all want to speak on this publicly, you're welcome to washington times radio. you know that you will be on friendly ground here. from an opinion editor at "the wall street journal," someone at

wsj should be fired for today's story. ridiculous. nice. bury your own paper under the bus. one more stroke job ended up in the e-mail trolling. if the governor is looking for a friendly place to make light of what i think is a small story that got blown out of scale, i would be happy to have him on, in person, here, on the phone, or in south carolina, stay strong, signed steven colbert, who barely gets away with this because he is a native south carolinian and an old school gentleman who mistakenly thought hiking the old appalachian trail meant hiking the old appalachian trail. stefan frederick cook, but seeking a federal court order in georgia to delay his upcoming deployment to afghanistan. he believes that president barack obama is not a natural-born citizen of the united states and therefore is ineligible to serve as commander in chief of u.s. armed forces. he believes he was be engaging in military actions outside of the united states under this president's command, simultaneously subjecting himself to possible prosecution as a war criminal by the faithful execution of these duties. tate is an obama birther who has filed other delusional lawsuits

about the president's birth certificate, a certificate who has been validated by the website worldnetdaily. the major is a poster at the website we told you about yesterday, freerepublic. when i was a kid in the '60s thinking ahead to possibly getting drafted, i thought, i'm not going to invent some sudden epiphany, i'm going to say, i don't want to get shot in vietnam or anywhere else. too bad he doesn't have the guts to say that, then he might be deserving of his rank rather than an embarrassment. don't ask, don't tell is still throwing out men and women who are willing to die for their country, but somehow we have room for this jackass. and skirts of this conwoman tate from which he hides. just remember their slogan from last year, country first. major stefan frederick cook, today's "worst persons" in the world. are on a conference call. 750,000 wish they weren't.

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as you know, the nation is currently in a state of abject crisis. a recent study by a board of irresponsible people found that americans were worried about in descending order, the economy, health care, terrorism, mermaids, climate change, centaurs, cat women, iraq, north korea, spidermen, man-cows, werewolves, big foot sasquatches, and humanezes, a disturbing trend is emerging. our number one story, senator sam brownback has stepped up to the plate and introduced the bill of 2009. he has 20 senate co-sponsors, because apparently jackass jacke still legal. the former presidential candidate introducing a bill that would ban the formation of part human, part animal creatures which are created in laboratories and blur the line between species. brownback trumpeting the bill via twitter, facebook, and his senate blog.

this legislation is both philosophical and practical as it has a direct bearing upon the very essence of what it means to be human. creating human-animal hybrids which permanently alter the genetic make-up of an organism. will challenge the very definition of what it means for human and is a grave injustice. another grave injustice, the bill has 20 cosponsors, including one democrat, mary landrieu of louisiana. perhaps worried that the island of dr. meroux is some show on "e." joined by senators ensign and coburn, who apparently had time, as did senator ensign, to support this bill on their way back from fedex. this is the dream story, and we're joined now by comedian christian finnegan, because simon mccorkendale was not available tonight. christian, good evening. >> nice to be with you. i got lucky on that one.

>> senator landrieu's support of this is apparently explained by the fact that governor jindal of louisiana just got a bill like this passed there. so i'm guessing there have been a lot of human-animal hybrid sightings in louisiana lately that nobody heard about? >> well, if you've seen the hbo show "trueblood," you know that louisiana is a genetic freak show. but i think issues like this should be handled on the state level. i don't need the federal government telling me i can't combine by dna with a chimpanzee, be it in the lab or the old-fashioned way. >> that's our old friend -- >> i'm saying i want to have sex with animals, keith. >> i want to say, has this legislation overlooked the human-animal hybrids that are already in existence? a situation like teen wolf. i mean, this not only effects michael j. fox, but also jason bateman. they're in big trouble. >> i'm sure jason bateman would love you to remind everyone of his tour de force performance in "teen wolf." we all know that there are man-animals walking amongst us.