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tv   The Dylan Ratigan Show  MSNBC  October 12, 2011 4:00pm-5:00pm EDT

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well, good wednesday afternoon to you. from washington d.c., a pleasure to see you, i'm dylan ratigan. pleasure to see you. more on why we're here in d.c. a lot going on. four big votes here on the hill. a bizarre terror plot and what seems to be the coronation of mitt romney as the republican nominee for president. all that, plus our get money out campaign packed into today's agenda. we begin though with those congressional votes. two in the senate last night. one to standing up to china bill passed. the president's so-called jobs bill did not. i emphasize so-called. the third vote comes in about an hour in the house followed by another in the senate on the proposed, and talk about so-called, free trade deals with pan marks south korea and colombia, the marketing of words. think rigged trade, outsourcing, think bank secrecy and thinking
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employing north korean slaves being sold to you the american people as, hey, free trade. we all know that these things not only kill u.s. jobs, actually a piece of legislation to pay for people who lose their jobs for the job-creating free trade agreements. if it wasn't true, you wouldn't believe it. first up here today a friend of the show, vermont independent senator bernie sanders. let's start with china. the chinese embassy doubling dunn on their lobbying efforts and that doesn't count what caterpillar and all the u.s. multi-nationals must be spending to try to protect how profitable it is to employ those chinese slaves and exploit the currency to extract america. that's a good business, man. >> well, it is, and i think, dylan, we increasingly have to understand when we deal with china that a lot of the opposition to good policy protecting american workers, that is opposed by these corporations who we have to look at as almost chinese companies,
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not as american companies. ever since the passage of permanent normal trade relations with china, we have lost millions of good paying jobs. in the last ten years alone we have seen 50,000 factories shut down in this country, over 5 million manufacturing jobs lost, and many of these jobs are going to china, to mexico, to other low rate countries. >> compliments obviously to the senate for having the courage to engage this. it's almost i would imagine politically popular which makes this easier to pursue. i think the american people will take whatever they can get. where's the president and where is the house on this? >> well, i hope the president will be supportive. i think it's a step forward in understanding that our trade relations with china has been a disaster, and it's got to change, but we have got to go a lot further than just the currency exchange issue. the whole basis of permanent normal trade relations with china is flawed. we have lost, according to the
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economic policy institute in the last ten years, almost 3 million good paying jobs. which takes us to the debate right now on the floor of the senate, and that is the continuation of these disastrous trade policies in terms of panama and colombia. in my view, i feel very strongly, and you said it a moment ago, we have a failed trade policy approach. why continue it? >> i feel like any american -- all an american niese needs to know about these so-called trade deals or free trade deals. the house is requesting is bill to displace u.s. workers u.s. tax money so if they are selling the american people trade deals to create jobs, why is it that we need to pass hundreds of millions of dollars in subsidies to employ people who are losing their jobs to trade deals? >> well, that is a very good question. what really bothers me is, you know, i've been through the nafta debate, voted against it,
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the chinese debate, voted against it. it's the same old crab. nobody how many jobs they say it's going to create, nobody believes it. the function of unfettered flow trade, our trade policy is not to create jobs in america but it is to allow corporations to shut down in america and go abroad and hire low wage labor and bring the products back into our country. you touched on something that needs a lot more discussion. the korean trade agreement, as bad as that is, an element is that the south korean companies are doing business in north korea where people are living, you know, in horrendous lives under a terrible dictatorship. south korean companies do business there. they are going to manufacture products in that country for literally pennies an hour. they will be supporting the dictatorship there. those products come to south korea, and then they come back to america as part of a free trade agreement. it is beyond belief.
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>> and yet president obama and the white house out saying we support these trade deals. members of the democratic party. we support these trade deals. members of the republican party. we support these trade deals. how can you look at the obvious mathematics of the extraction that trade has become, the obvious absurdity of bank rolling the north korean government by employing slaves and sit here and feel that your country is in some way rational? >> well, i think what it is, it's not the country, it is a congress and a white house very heavily influenced by big money. there is no clearer example than i can give to you, dylan, to where the american people are on one side. they understand that when 50,000 factories are shut down in a ten-year working, but around here you have leaders in the democratic party, leaders in the republican party, they are, you know, they are following the lead on -- from the corporate interests and
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they are way out of touch with what ordinary americans want or believe should be happening. >> which gets us to what we here at "the d.r. show" is called auction 2012. all excited for the big auction next year. if you look at the auction and how it's setting up for the election, i guess they call it an election still, but i don't know why. if you were to look at the occupiers, if you were to look at the occupation movement which is now i think 1,300 occupations and expanding rapidly, if you were it look at the explosion in our campaign to pass a constitutional amendment to get money out, now clocking towards 200,000 after less than two weeks, what can people who are on these types of campaigns, that are at these occupations, that are engaged in get money out, what can they do right now to expose the auction that is corrupting our country? >> well, i'll give you two examples. number one, no doubt in my mind that these free trade
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agreements, so-called free trade agreements are heavily influenced by big money. check it out. see where the money comes from and see how people are voting. in terms of wall street, you have another example where the big money on wall street which causes this recession in the first place is now lobbying and spending huge amounts on campaign finance, contributions to candidates, in order to dilute the already week dodd/frank bill, so if you want examples of money and the influence of money in policy, look at what's going on in terms of wall street, look at what's going on in terms of trade and the examples are very, very clear. so i think people have just got to keep up the pressure and tell members of congress that they are there to represent ordinary people and not just big-money interests. >> an interesting thought if we had a few hundred thousand people publishinging "expose the
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auction journalism" every day at the occupation, you would have to think that it can't hurt. >> a situation now in terms of campaign finance that's been made much, much worse by the absurd citizens united decision which is going to allow billionaires and large corporations to pour unimaginable sums of money into campaigns with no disclosure whatsoever. so you do have a democracy now which is under severe attack by big money interests, and that has got to change. >> at least we've got the right slogan for 2012, senator. auction 2012. tell your friends the coverage is coming. 94% of the time the one with the most money wins. we'll cover it like it's sotheby's and see if everybody gets the point. thanks for your time, senator. >> thank you. >> thank you. coming up on a busy afternoon, we get some good information for you today from a former cia director who is a friend of the program with some insight into that wild terror
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plot aim at washington, d.c. plus, we'll ask former rnc chairman michael steele who he thinks won last night's debate, and more importantly whether romney can consolidate power and, well, start attracting all that auction money. then, exposing the greed and hypocrisy of our own government through satire. we kick off a new segment we call cheat chap. just one phillips' colon health probiotic cap a day
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gee, well, shock waves are rippling across washington, this after a foiled terror plot on u.s. soil between iran, saudi
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arabia and israel, our own country stuck in the middle of the israeli embassy in washington, d.c., along with a local restaurant. the venues for the theoretical plot. the state department has now issued a terror warning to americans around the world for the potential ofmore attacks against u.s. interests which is interesting because the attacks were against israeli and saudi arabia interests that were planned, i don't know. this afternoon secretary of state clinton called for international response to the whole thing. >> this plot was a flagrant violation of international and u.s. law and a dangerous escalation of the iranian government's long-standing use of political violence and sponsorship of terrorism. >> now, the iranian suspects which include a u.s. citizen planned to assassinate the saudi ambassador. remember, iran and saudi arabia are in a bit of a cold war between the north and the south and the middle east. meanwhile, the story gets
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better. the scheme was for iran to employ a mexican drug cartel to blow up the saudi diplomat at a restaurant in washington. talk about making it complicatedch the unusually high profile target, combined with the fact that it would have been not only on american soil but in our nation's capital as a venue, seems a serious escalation in the struggle between iran, saudi arabia and weaves in mexico and the west. let's bring in our mega panel to discuss. joining us now, imogen lloyd weber and jonathan capehart of the "washington post" and rob cox out of reuters. rob, no secret with the shia and sunni divide in the middle east, iran and saudi arabia are not friends. they are an aggressive battle for power in that region. iran is trying to exploit the power vacuum in iraq to expand the theater of their power, but why would they go beyond their own cold war and weave all these players and take the fight, if you will, into america? >> well, i don't actually think they works and i'm very
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skeptical about the claims that the u.s. government has made on this one. i mean, probably will say that, oh, my god, how can you diminish the idea that there was this terrorist plot. i just don't see it. i don't see what's to gain by doing this. you know, would you just -- really annoy the united states. we don't -- i don't think iran is super-duper crazy. it might be a pretty wacky place, but i don't think it's super-duper crazy. i wait to see a lot more evidence, and if you read what experts on this are saying, hold back. this feels like yellow cake uranium all over again, and i don't trust what governments say. it's what i do. i'm a journalist. i'm skeptical and this one gives me a lot of pause, dylan, so i'm not sure -- i'm not sure i agree with the premise here. >> yeah. again, i think we all experience a certain degree of september schism, imogen. the only thing we do know is iran and saudi arabia are in a cold war effectively for power in the middle east, but it really begs the question, to rob's point, why on earth iran would take their battle with
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saudi arabia on a goose chase like this, and i wonder do you share the same skepticism for the narrative that rob just articulated? >> i do. i'm feeling incredibly manipulated right here. we don't know the half of it. don't know what's going on behind the scenes. i specialize in international relationships and the secret world at cambridge university, ie spies. we do not know what is going on. the american government was wrong before, let's remember iraq and weapons of mass destruction. we do know obviously iran has been involved in a covert were, as it were, for some time with the west but iran is the one that's suffering. there's iranian scientists assassinated on iranian soil. we have that computer program that hit nuclear facilities, the virus, so i don't know. this is very unlike iran, and as rob is saying, experts on iran are skeptical about all of this. >> jonathan, your thoughts? >> yeah. well, look, i agree with rob, you know. iran is -- what did you say, rob, wacky? i think they are a little bit.
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>> wacky but not super-duper crazy. >> not super-duper crazy, but they are super crazy enough to do this, and i think the one thing that i want to see more and read about this case, but the one thing that's interesting that came up in our meeting today, why would they target the saudi ambassador to the united states, al jabeir, and one of the things that comes up is the american -- the saudi ambassador to the united states is considered to be the most influential adviser to the saudi crown outside of the royal family. he's enormously influential, and if iran wanted to mess with saudi arabia and get the united states mixed up in all of this by blowing him up at a very popular restaurant here in washington, i don't think it's out of the realm of the possible that -- that that's what they were trying to do here, if they were looking to do it. >> you can see -- put that map back up. you can see what's going on when you look at the map. can we get that map back up, guys? you can see iran obviously in
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red and saudi arabia in the light green and then as a result of american military intervention in iraq and the weakness of that government, there's been an opportunity for iran to expand its theater of power into iraq and for that matter to the east, into afghanistan, which, of course, makes saudi arabia remarkably nervous. we've heard a lot, rob, about sanctions against iran. is there a point where the american alliance with saudi arabia really has to start to get called into question? >> well, i mean, you can -- of course. if you look at the saudi government, you look at the human rights abuses. i mean, of course, we should always be calling this. this is -- they may be our friends, but as we saw with the arab spring, you know, when friends -- when the people turn against our friends, we've go the to move with it as well because it's the voice of the people. it's democracy or something -- some semblance of it. i just want to point out one thing, dylan. i don't know if you saw the response, by the way, of the ayatollah. >> no. >> did you see what he said? >> he talked today.
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he said this was an attempt by the u.s. government to divert attention away from the occupy wall street phenomenon which -- which actually is pretty extraordinary that the ayatollah is talking about occupy wall street. think about that. i mean, it's pretty extraordinary. >> and it speaks to the power of facebook. i wonder if the ayatollah has a facebook page. he might have seen the pictures of occupy boston. imogen, if you were to look -- for all of us that have a certain degree of skepticism, where would you point us to learn more so that we can at least begin to feel better informed in a situation like this that really just feels more confusing than informative? >> well, actually looking inside iran itself, did the ruling clerics knew about this? who knew about the plot inside iran, and let's also remember in the context of the arab spring. iran is feeling vulnerable at the moment. its big friend of the region is obviously assad in syria. he's under all sorts of trouble as we all know and under all
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sorts of problems at the moment. at this moment would iran risk this all right now? i'm not so sure, dylan. >> we'll find out something. who knows if it will be the truth. more information will emerge. the panel stays, and to end that, by the way, james woolsy is going to talk about iran a little later in the show. but up next here, can anyone beat mitt? we're going to ask the man in front of you, former republican party leader michael steele. he's our specialist and he joins the mega panel right after this. [ male announcer ] humana and walmart have teamed up to bring you a low-priced medicare prescription drug plan. ♪ with the lowest national plan premium... ♪ ...and copays as low as one dollar... ♪ ...saving on medicare prescriptions is easy. ♪ so you're free to focus on the things that really matter. call humana at 1-800-808-4003. or go to walmart.com for details.
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. can you name all 59 points in your 160-page plan? >> i must admit that simple answers are always very helpful, but oftentimes inadequate. >> we must grow this economy with a bold solution which is why i have proposed 999. >> i'm not going to lay it out for you tonight. mitt's had six years to be working on a plan. i've been in this for about eight weeks. >> well, those just a few of the
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punchlines from last night's gop debate where by the end of the night mitt romney emerged relatively unscathed. cain shared in the spotlight and perry appeared to wilt under pressure by most folks' analysis. you make your own judgments when you look at the videos. does any of it matter anymore? is it time for everyone to just admit that romney is a guy and it's an auction anyway and really the question is which gop candidate can win the auction? let's bring in today's specialist who knows all about gop politics, particularly the auctioneering of the candidates by virtue of the dependency of raising money. at the end of the day, if we know that 94% of the time the guy that raises the most money wins, michael, is mitt romney going to be that guy? >> well, yeah, i think the conventional wisdom around town and certainly across the country would say that, but i tell you, man, the dynamics in this campaign are really different and very special in a lot of ways.
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you have a much more animated grass roots and a lot of folks say, well, that's not true because they are not picking anybody but that's the point. they are taking their type. they are looking more carefully, and they are putting some things out there that are making these guys and gal, you know, run pretty hard, so i think from that standpoint it's going to be interesting, but having florida move up the calendar that they have, now you've got iowa going january 3rd, i think the schedule plays much stronger to mitt romney, and if he has another debate performance like he did last night, you can pretty much stick a fork in this thing. >> what do you think, jonathan? >> michael, i want to ask you, you know, watching governor perry last night was like watching the incredibly shrinking man the longer that went on. >> yeah. >> he's got $17 million in the bank so he's not out of this unless he wants to be out of it. my question is at what point will governor perry have to deal forthrightly with the rock controversy and race and with
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reverend jeffress and the mormon issue? >> well, i think that moment is right now, and every moment that he is quiet or voiceless on this thing is another moment that makes this more difficult. if, for example, he does begin to uptick in the polls again, it comes under greater scrutiny and then the pressure to answer becomes unsurmountable, and then, of course, you know in those situations you wind up saying things that make it worse. as i've said before, you and i have talked about it and you've written, get this behind you. deal with the issue up front. state very clearly, you know, how you feel about these things. this is not about, you know, the obvious, oh, yeah, we just painted over the rock. it's how you feel about it. it's do you appreciate the sensitivities here? the jeffress thing, you know, the attack on someone's religion, i don't care if it's mormonism or whatever it happens to be, is not something that people want this the body politic, and if you're a leading candidate and certainly one whose supporters are pushing this stuff out there, you've got to deal with it.
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>> imogen? >> i'd like to know if you think tea party republicans can ever really accept and fight for, as it were, romney, a man who was for universal health care, isn't a traditional christian, has at times a report of being pro-choice and also pro gay? do you think the tea party republicans will ever be on board with him? >> i do. you're not going to get all, imogen, you're just not. that's a reality of politics here for someone like mitt romney, but what romney has to do, and this has been part of the agenda i think from the very beginning, is hold on to as much of that tea party conservative base as he can, and then cobble together those pieces that are both independent voters and like-minded democratic voters to wittle his way through to the -- to the general election, and i think when the push comes to shove, when you are stacking up against the obama agenda and the record of the last three years, four years by that point, we get to november of next year, folks
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will pretty much decide, look, this is about electability and winning as opposed to just, you know, dying on the spear of a particular principle so i think you'll see more and more folks around. it's going to take time. >> michael, just following up on something jonathan asked which is this sort of mormon question. i mean, if we assume or if it's inevitable at this point that mitt romney will receive the nomination, at what point does he have that kennedy moment, where kennedy explains, you know, talked about catholicism and he was the first obvious catholic president. >> right. >> at what point would you advise him to actually get ahead of that issue? >> well, he had that moment four years ago when he addressed the mormon question i thought in a very well prepared and articulated speech on the subject. i don't think he has to do that again. i think what you are hearing is a noise from a very, very, very
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small segment of the body politic on the gop side, if they are all gop, you know, in the first place, but the small segment that has raised this issue up through jeffress, i don't think romney has to go before the -- the republican party or the american people again on this subject. i think particularly given the comments that have been made over the past week. folks stand squarely with him on this, and i don't think he needs to explain anymore. >> i'll ask you the last question, michael, one that presumes your ability to know the minds of other men which i recognize is an impossibility, but put on your karnac hat. >> come on, dylan, i was chairman. >> respect, respect. i wonder how you believe a gop candidate, whoever it might be, would respond to the efforts represented in the get money out petition to try to separate business and state in a maturing election come next summer? >> wow. that's a good question.
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i would hope, quite honestly, that they would respond favorably. i think that a lot of folks have come to the conclusion that there's too many toxins in this system when it comes to the politics of our country, and fobes want to find every way possible to clean it out. i think this is not just, you know, a noble effort on your part, i think it's an important one. we've got mccain/feingold and all the constitutional questions that deal with that, but i think something that just flat out says, look, you know, we want elected officials to fully represent the people so that the people who support them, not these special interests that get carved out with 527s and the like. i think it's a noble effort. it will be very interesting to see how people respond to that once this thing gets witled dhi down to one or two. i think it will be very interesting. >> it's interesting, because
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obviously the rate of growth right now is very high. i am personally curious if we get into the millions of signatures, which i do think is possible, not only the sitting president obama but any potential contender might respond. i think we'll probably all get to learn that together. >> if i could just make one point on that, and that's this. remember, then candidate obama was adamant about going on the public dole, if you will, with respect to campaign financing, until his advisers and his accountants came in and said, you know, you're raising about half a million a day here, so, you know, then all of a sudden the idea of mccain/feingold and living within the limits and taking the $87 million and calling it a day went out the window and that's the influence that you've been talking about that i think in a lot of ways has poisoned the system. >> yeah, of course, nobody wants to end the auction when they are winning it. >> no, of course not. i'm ahead, no, no. getting the goose, too. >> not when we're winning, man,
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not when we're winning. thank you, michael, thank you, imogen, thank you rob and jonathan. coming up here, what a popular social media site is indicating about the spreading occupation of america. 4g-- the next evolution in wireless technology. with advanced power, the verizon 4g lte network makes your business run faster:
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weeks in red, almost all the check-ins were in new york city. but look at the explosion in occupations starting about ten days ago as the momentum built and now you can see the check-in is exploding away from new york city so where are these new occupations? well, here's foursquare's latest map. over half of the states in america have at least one occupation. in fact, there are even more occupations where people don't even use foursquare. here's google's map of the total tally. total occupations that exist now exceed 1,300. my favorite on that markings by the way, put that map back up, bring that map back up. look at the bottom. occupy honolulu. might be an upgrade in weather, if nothing else. it all makes me wonder just how many occupations there will be by this saturday's planned global day of occupation, and it
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does make you wonder whether the laggard cities like san francisco, home to the great '60s protest movement will finally show up with an occupation that can make headlines and will the rowdy cities that have been making headlines like boston be able to stay out of jail? because you better believe it. if anyone can take the tea party brand all the way back, it will be those rowdies up in beantown. after this, away from the occupation, what are iran's ties to the foiled terror plot? what do we actually know, and how much of this is a spillover from a cold war between iran and saudi arabia? a live interview with the former head of the cia, james woolsey, right after this. to share... to volunteer. and now, thanks to you, 10 communities have more to smile about. what's next? tell us on facebook.
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>> now, exclusively with us former cia director james woolsey who also chairs the foundation for defense of democracies. what is your take on the overall narrative? >> well, i think it's highly likely that iran is undertaking these killings because they have been doing it since 1979. they assassinated taba tabai, one of the sha's people in washington in the early '80s. they launched the killings at the restaurant in 1992. the german court system operated very fairly in that and ended up accusing ayatollah khomeini himself of ordering the killings, excellent book goes into this in some detail, and the whole international structure of iran's assassinations. they assassinated a large number
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of israelis and jews in argentina in '93 and '94, and there's really essentially no time that they are not out assassinating people, so to pretend that there's something really new here, it would be new to come back and do it in the united states, yes, but they did it in the german capital with their kurdish rivals back in '92, so, you know, i find it very difficult to come to the view that this is a very unlikely connection. it's an extremely likely connection. >> the question that occurs is what would the rationale be for iran who clearly has an enemy in their mind in saudi arabia that is widely known? clearly has an enemy in their mind in israel. that is by no means a secret. why would iran seek to target its enemies, saudi arabia and iran, using mexicans on american soil? in other words, why don't they
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do this sort of thing in saudi arabia, in, you know, why do they -- do they sort of involve all these other people? >> well, we're a more open society to put it mildly than sawed saw. probably easier to get to people in the united states than it is there, but there's a saying in that part of the world, me against my brother, me and my brother against my cousin, me, my brother and cousin against the stranger, and sometimes the iranians will take on the saudis because there's the sunni shiite divide. there's the power divide. there's policy in opec that they have some disagreements on, but to take on both the cousin and the saudis and the stranger, us, with one blast killing 100 or more people, saudi ambassador, american citizens, to do it in the capital of the united states, there's nothing they would like better. it would just i'm sure make
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khamenei's eyes and ahmadinejad's eyes sparkle. >> when you look at the history with egypt and the relationship with mubarak and the role through the american spring, as you look at america's current relationship with saudi arabia which has its own pressures because of the culture of oppression, the way it treats women, on and on and on, how different is the culture of oppression in saudi arabia or egypt which is an american ally as opposed to the culture of oppression in places like iran which is an american enemy in. >> egypt largely sunni, about 10% coptic christian had certainly an authoritarian dictator in mubarak, but -- and there was some limited degree of freedom of speech and the like. it was not nearly as totalitarian as either in its own way, saudi arabia or iran. both saudi arabia and iran are, i think, quite clearly theocratic totalitarian country, one sunni, one shiite, and that
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is one of the things that has produced, among other thing, their treatment of women. for these guys, totalitarianism often begins at home, beating their wives, having their daughters' genitals mutilated and a lot of the things that they do, so i do think that there are some similarities between the extraordinarily dictatorial autocratic totalitarian methods in iran today and in saudi arabia, but there are some -- some important differences as well. >> and how -- and how do americans reconcile saudi arabia as our ally in the context you described and iran as the enemy when their fundamental social structure, asset structure, gender structure has more in common in many ways than it -- than different? >> well, for three years and eight months, from '41 to august of '45 in world war ii, we were
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a close ally and major financial supporter of history's greatest murderer, josef stalin who killed about 80 million people and surpassed at least in numbers mao and hitler, but we needed him. we needed him because we were fighting the nazis, and we were glad to have him on our side. some people got distracted here and started calling him uncle joe and thinking that we were going to be able to get along with the communists extremely well. you can't get distracted when you're aligned with one devil in order to try to stop the immediate devil, hitler, but -- but we had to do, it and sometimes international affairs is like that. we would like for it to be that way as little as possible. we'd like to have a coalition, a growing coalition of democracies and free peeps standing together, and sometimes we've been able to make that work. that's when we brought the cold war to a pretty successful end, but it's not always possible. sometimes you have to link up, at least temporarily, with some
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pretty bad folks in order to get by a very difficult situation. >> understood. listen, director woolsey, thanks so much for the time this afternoon and your insights. appreciate it. >> great to be but, dylan. >> james woolsey. as you know and can see behind me we're in d.c. more than 181,000 now in our mad as hell get money out company. we are now deep, as you know, into phase two and well on our way to reaching our second goal with the digital wave approaching our first official double of 200,000 signatures. so with less than 20,000 to go, not only do i suggest you tell your friends or your mom or your co-workers, i suggest you even tell your ex-girlfriend, your ex-boyfriend. anyone who you care might think about the auctioning of our democracy may enjoy a visit to getmoneyout.com and a little inspiration to know that a group of us are partnering to begin the process first of exposing
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the auction and then ultimately ending it. also, if you haven't seen it yet, click over to dylanratigan.com's "new york observer" write-up of the occupation protests and the campaign to get money out. we'll be heading over to the d.c. protests in the freedom plaza after the show here today, and, of course, a free app for jim cramer's stock picks as well happens to be in today's show. we'll talk to the occupiers and get back here in d.c. after this, and tonight on "hardball," chris matthews takes on what he calls last night's republican clown show, but next we can cheat. we launch a series of cheat chat conversations with satirist jeff chrysler, our so-called expert in how to get rich cheating. i'm not a number. i'm not a line item on a budget. and i'm definitely not a pushover. but i am a voter. so washington... before you even think about
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well, time now for the premiere of our new segment called cheat chat, and if you're looking to join the 1%, our expert cheater, jeff chrysler, is among that 1% in a satiriccal sense and joins us with today's headline. the first one, jeffrey, has to do with what has turned into occupy earth. your thoughts? >> well, dylan, whenever i'm confronted with a culturally generationally defining moment like this as i think that we are, all of us great cheaters ask ourselves the patriotic question how can we profit. you see the guys profiting in way. because of the movie "v for vendet vendetta" every sale of a guy fox mask benefits time warner so
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the protesters are helping fund the corporation that they despise. sort of like michele bachmann getting a cut every rainbow flag sale. i think some other things people really want to do if they profit, help people get real money by forming a super pac. you talked about the influence of money in politics. why not have a super pac, you know, the foundation to keep america's drum circling. >> maybe you should join me for my first visit to occupy d.c. tonight and could propose some of these things at general assembly. >> i would love to do that because i love to try to talk to the protesters because i think they are missing what a modern america is like. you know, it was adam and eve, not adam and the redistribution of my apple. i'm pretty sure that was in the constitution, and it's -- today's america, not about these protests. it's today's america is about the smartest minds making money by moving money around. it's not about dropping rhymes on the back of a pizza box, and i just don't get what they want. we gave them back "arrested development." we let the yankees lose and red
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sox lose, scarlett johnasson photos and i don't know what they want. two great cheaters, we can kind of let them go about it, go ahead, it's a distracks like you said. politics is professional wrestling so they won't notice the jobs bill, the bank fees, the michael jackson trial, and the other option for us cheaters i think is to use the power of our corporate media to label them dirty, hippies, smelling, protesters that don't have a message, and you know that will be effective because over the generations we've been able to label things so effectively. if you look at the things that don't exist but we've said they do, repeated the lies enough, people believe they exist. think about the things that don't exist, liberal media, activist judges, democratic leader this. these things don't exist but we've said they do. >> you say that with such pleasure. i want to move directly to the consumer market if i could for a second. as you've probably heard, jeff, a lot of outrage about the failure to be an iphone 5, but interestingly apple fans don't
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seem to care what the newest iphone is or whether it does anything different than the last iphone. this iphone seems to be selling like hot cakes with no apparent difference in the last one. it confuses me. >> well, it's part of the cheating genius of the iphone, of apple. it's called the 4s because the number 5 is for squares, man, and part of the genius is to make people feel hip and cool by having some kind of code like that. they built a love of the iphone. people literally love their iphones. it makes sense. in order to overlook slave labor building a product you have to love it. if chinese dry wall would sell better if asbestos were delicious and i think the iphone has done a better job than any product out there in building the cult, getting people to buy the same products every nine month. now it's onmipresent, everybody has iphones. my nephew has an iphone, he's 5. my grandma has an iphone. she doesn't have real hips. even lost tribes in the scrungele. you find them and they are texting lol. look out, lion.
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it's amazing, and the -- the real genius -- >> is that what they are doing? >> what's that? >> that's what they are doing, lol, look out, lion. that's new. i'm behind the times. >> it is. you'll get hip when you go down to occupy wall street with the hippies. >> okay. >> the real genius of the iphone is the personal assistant because it helps gather more information about all of the users, and ultimately that's what it's about. gather information so that can you profit so you can advertise, and it's already started to happen to me. i get advertisements on my phone. they know that i'm a male, above age 30, so i get ads for like mortgages and sexual aids. i don't need information about mortgages. >> finally, jeff, netflix, changing the subject, if you don't mind. it was going to jack up the price and then everybody started bailing on them so now they are rewinding, so to speak. your thoughts of the fally of netflix and their design to rake in a little more dough for their
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downloads? >> well, again, i think this is a cheating genius by their ceo. i think his name is reed hastings, the renaming and going back on the name. one of two things are in play. either he's trying to do such a terrible job that he gets fired and gets a real bitching severance package or he has realized that they are in publicity through stupidity. i mean, if you think about it. we love all of the -- we love all of the things that are just train wrecks out there. we love them. train wrecks like paris hilton and the kardashians and the republican debates, and we love them because they are train wrecks, and this is an opportunity to keep in the public eye. you can't spell ha-ha, look at them they are terrible without look at them, and that's what this publicity will do. now, if that's not the plan, then i'm not sure exactly what he's doing. i think he'll have to maybe keep renaming it. it works for prince, or he's going to have to use spin, and, again, i go back to messaging and spin. it's all the peace when it comes to cheating. you can spin your way out of
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this with the right consultants. for instance, when bank of america just announced that they were going to have a mass layoff, they didn't call it a mass layoff. they said they were lowering the retirement age to now. >> that sounds like the cheaters 101. jeff, i look forward to seeing you this evening here in washington, d.c. that is not the only reason that i'm here, but there are a number of them. we're in washington today not just to get the money out of politics but to give me an opportunity to -- to quote, unquote confront our friend jeff this evening at his latest seminar on how to get rich cheating. jeff does this show across the country, and the d.c. show starts tonight in d.c. at 8:30 at the riot act comedy club. check it out. details on our website, dylanratigan.com and on the twitter feet @dylanratigan and find jeff at jeff kreisler.

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