holiday weekend. good night. mitt romney's got a serious problem with the ninth commandment, and christian conservatives know it. >> we can't wait to pardon these turkeys. literally. >> let's talk turkey when it comes to republican. >> what's sauce for the goose is now sauce for the gander. >> big endorsement coming from mitt romney. >> an important endorsement. >> it's great to be in iowa today and to be able to endorse mitt romney's candidacy. >> senator john thune. >> senator john thune. >> romney has yet to stumble in a debate. >> he's that flower you get from the flower store and you think you're going to take it home and it's going to blossom and it

stays half -- >> i'm still a business guy! >> what governor romney said today -- >> i don't have a political career. >> he's been running for president for the last couple of years. >> i don't have a political career. i don't have a political career. >> he's been running for this job now for so many years. >> romney has a hard time finding his way to the truth. >> we did have some issues with names last night. >> some fun with names. >> i'm mitt romney, and yes, wolf, that's also my first name. >> it is time to fact check. >> willard mitt romney said that his name has always been mitt. >> mitt romney's full name is willard mitt romney. >> mitt is his middle name. >> i'd like to see your long form birth certificate. >> willard suffers an identity crisis. >> i'm mitt romney, and yes, wolf, that's also my first name. >> he has the distinction of being the luckiest bird on the face of the earth.

iowa christian conservatives are uniting to stop mitt romney from winning the republican nomination, according to a cnn report. representatives from leading iowa social conservative groups held a secret meeting on monday in des moines, which i guess isn't secret anymore. and they discussed which candidate they might endorse, endorse in order to prevent romney from winning the iowa caucuses. bob vander plots, the president of the family leader, who had a representative at the meeting and invited some of the attendees said, "our concern is that if the conservatives stay as fragmented as they are, that romney could win the iowa caucuses, and if he wins the iowa caucuses, he'll be the nominee. so i think there's an urgency to say, well, who is the person that could best challenge romney, then move on after iowa?

when van der plots took over then-candidate mike huckabee's campaign in iowa in 2007, huckabee polled at 2% and mitt romney polled at 11% in iowa. huckabee then won iowa, with 34% support and romney came in second with 25% support. a new poll out today has newt gingrich leading iowa with 27%, romney is second with 20%, and ron paul is now third with 16%. the other candidates all now polling in single digits. as for which 2012 candidate iowa christian conservative groups discussed getting behind at their secret meeting, "participants were said to have narrowed their focus town to four candidates -- minnesota representative michele bachmann, texas governor rick perry, former house speaker newt gingrich, and former pennsylvania senator, rick santorum." today, romney made his third appearance in just over a month in iowa, where he announced an endorsement from south dakota republican senator john thune. >> you're wondering who this tall, good-looking guy is over

here. it's actually tom brady of the new england patriots. i thought i'd bring him with me. >> i want to do everything i can to encourage, to persuade people not only here in this room, but across your great state and across this great country that the person that can lead america back to greatness is the former governor of massachusetts, and hopefully our next president, mitt romney. >> real clear politics reports today that romney is among those who have most vigorously sought the endorsement of sarah palin, according to her aides, but palin is just not that into romney. advisers suggest that newt gingrich appears to be best-positioned to secure her support. they speak very favorably of newt and what they see as his credentials, as compared to perry and romney. one member of palin's inner circle said of the former alaska governor and her husband, todd, who has long served as her unofficial chief adviser. joining me now are christina bellantoni, the associate editor for "roll call," and melissa

harris perry, msnbc contributor and professor of political science at tulane university. melissa, this secret meeting, which is no longer secret, and was really kind of obvious, that christian conservatives really want to find an anybody but romney candidate, aren't they just kind of getting in a room and doing together in a relatively small group what all the rest of the larger republican electorate has been trying to do? >> well, yeah. that's certainly what it feels like, watching this gop primary season thus far. is that there has been a pretty solid romney vote. those supporters. and then there is the very powerful, and in fact, vast majority of gop voters at this point, who in expressing their press conferences in polls, they haven't actually voted or caucused yet, but they're basically saying, not romney. and they've been moving around, trying to figure out, who is the right not-romney candidate. is it bachmann, is it perry, is

it gingrich? so we have to ask, how powerful is that? is that powerful enough to sustain a kind of not-romneyism all the way through, so if he became the nominee, would they simply stay home in the general election? and that, i think, is obviously the fear of those who really would like to defeat president obama in the fall. >> let's listen again to the highlight of last night's debate, when newt gingrich took a position on immigration that might make it difficult for some of those conservatives to pick him out of that group. let's listen to what he had to say. >> i don't see how -- the party who says it's the party of the family is going to adopt an immigration policy, which destroys families that have been here a quarter century, and i'm prepared to take the heat for saying, let's be humane in enforcing the law, without giving them citizenship, but by finding way to create legality so that they are not separated from their families. i do not believe that the people

to have the united states are going to take people who have been here a quarter century, who have children and grandchildren, who are members of the community, who may have done something 25 years ago, separate them from their families, and expel them. >> christina, does that move gingrich away from that group that was meeting secretly on monday, trying to pick an alternative to romney? or did he couch his position in the right language for them? family, and another version of that, he talked about, if they belonged to their local church. tied them into the community that way. where does that leave him with this kind of conservative group that's looking for the alternative to romney? >> i don't think that necessarily helps warm him up. but what this group is really going to the need to decide, ultimately, is do they want the true social conservative? that's going to be rick santorum or michele bachmann. or do they want someone that looks to be able to withstand the entire primary process and

then go on to fight against barack obama? so that's really the core decision they're going to have to make. the values aren't really all that different. this was a pretty remarkable moment last night with gingrich being honest about this issue that, you know, rick perry was booed for, a very similar position a few debates back. i think they need to really see, who's the most electable. and santorum and bachmann line up on all of their ideals, and they've both been courting faith leaders in iowa for many months. that was one of bachmann's first moves when she launched her campaign. but gingrich is probably a little more likable to win. >> now, this is, of course, difficult for mitt romney to jump on, since he's been everywhere on every issue himself over the years. gingrich, i think, played it well with romney today. romney tried to make something of this, and gingrich said, here's a -- he tweeted, "here's a trip down memory lane -- so what's your position on

citizenship for illegals again?" because newt says, i oppose it. and then newt linked to this video of mitt romney. >> my own view is, consistent with what you saw, is that those people who come here illegally and are in this country, the 12 million or so who are here illegally, should be able to sign up for permanent residency or citizenship. >> melissa, this is an impossible campaign for romney, i think. wherever he wants to take a shot at any republican for anything, there's bound to be a clip of him having adopted that position at some point in the past. >> it's true. like, romney 2011 is so mad at romney 2009, romney 2005, you know, his current is self is mad at all of his former selves. but one of the things that gingrich did last night in that position that he took, in addition to framing his family, and he did make the church position, the other thing he did is the one thing that republican voters have responded to extremely well, even from the first administration of george

w. bush, and that is, he framed his dissent as courage. he said, look, i know that y'all are going to be unhappy with this position, but i am going to be courageous enough to take it. and the fact is that that notion of staying the course, having the strong backbone, being willing to say things, even when they are difficult, that's what got sarah palin an awful lot of applause lines during her presidential run. it was a big part of george w. bush's re-election campaign. and i think even more than the family piece or the church piece, it was this idea that by taking an unpopular stance, i'm doing something courageous. and that is something that romney hasn't been able to figure out how to do yet. >> christina, there's a new pew poll out that's polling the question of how does romney's mormon religion affect his candidacy with republicans and then the general election shows not much real effect in a general election, if he can get to that election.

but it shows there's considerable resistance among evangelical christians to voting for a mormon in the republican primary. does the romney campaign have any actual strategy to deal with that, or just simply stay away from questions of religion? >> yeah, well, welcome to december 2007. this is really what happened when it came to iowa and romney putting so much of his campaign eggs in that basket. and mike huckabee really courting that evangelical vote, by not really going after romney's faith, but that's sort of the underlying question there. and that's one reason why he didn't win in iowa. and i think that the campaign, they going about the strategy of, you know, he'll answer any question, he recently was asked about it and made sure to point

out, the full name of my church is the church of jesus christ of latter day saints. and they're trying to educate people a little bit more about mormonism, but i think that it is a big issue. and the numbers, i believe, are a little misleading when it comes to the general election because it's such a hypothetical. and some of the poll numbers i've looked at show that some of the people don't necessarily understand the underlying history and base of mormonism. so whoever gets to that education campaign best for the american people is going to be able to really define what romney is and what he believes in. >> and melissa, in the primary, one of the big, glaring numbers that's a problem for him is that 53% of white evangelicals say

that mormons are not christian, no matter what the formal title of their religion actually is. is there a way for romney to somehow get passed that? >> well, look, this is the fun i just had -- you know, i just sat in for rachel on her show in the last segment, and i sort of came out in terms of my maternal lines being mormons, although i myself am not mormon, i come have a very long line of mormons. and what's been interesting for me watching romney try to address this question, who unlike kennedy, who addressed the can catholicism question, by going to core american values of freedom of religion and freedom of expression, and the extent to which we are all the same, even though we believe different things, instead, they can't do that, because they don't want to allow, for example, islam to have that free religious possibility within the states. so instead what they do, they

try to make a theological argument about mormonism. that is a much more difficult place to be. i actually think that what romney ought to do is go to core american values about the freedom of religion, the freedom of expression, rather than trying to make a claim about his religion's specific theological claims. >> christina bellantoni and melissa harris perry, thank you both very much for joining me tonight. >> thanks. happy thanksgiving. >> thank you. coming up, grover norquist and i actually agree on something. the super committee failure was a very good thing. and in the "re-write," why liars like rick perry and mitt romney will keep getting away with it. i wouldn't do that. pay the check? no, i wouldn't use that single miles credit card. hey, aren't you... shhh. i'm researching a role. today's special... the capital one venture card. you earn double miles on every purchase. impressive. chalk is a lost medium. if you're not earning double miles... you're settling for half. was that really necessary? [ male announcer ] get the venture card at capitalone.com and earn double miles on every purchase every day. what's in your wallet? cover for me. i have an audition.

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one of my favorite things to do before thanksgiving is to watch "charlie brown:thanksgiving special," they started airing this in 1973, so to freshen things up, we removed the original audio and replaced it with audio from a republican debate and i think it really freshened things up. >> mitt, you hired illegals in your home and you knew about it

for a year, and the idea that you stand here before us and talk about that you're strong on immigration is on its face the height of hypocrisy. >> rick, i don't think i've ever hired an illegal in my life. so i'm afraid -- i'm looking forward to finding your facts on that -- >> i'll tell you what the facts are -- >> rick, i'm speaking, i'm speaking -- >> the newspaper -- >> i'm speaking. you get 30 seconds, this is the way the rules work here, i get 60 seconds -- >> no -- >> you get 30 seconds to respond, right? >> would you please -- you please wait? are you going to keep talking. >> 9-9-9! those fangs sink those teeth into their leg. and what is it that grover can do to you? all energy development comes with some risk,

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those fangs sink those teeth into their leg. and what is it that grover can do to you? he is the most powerful person in america today. i'm going to give him that full credit. i think he should run for president. and he has those powers. 95% of the republicans are enthralled with this gentleman. >> that was former republican senator alan simpson, co-chair of president obama's fiscal commission on msnbc today, referring to anti-tax lobbyist grover norquist and his role in the super committee's failure to reach an agreement on deficit reduction. norquist, like me, but for different reasons, just fine with the super committee's failure. grover tweeted, "super committee could not agree how to cut $1.2

trillion, so now he sequester -- french for cut -- $1.2 trillion. this is failing how?" but as long as congress remains unable to negotiate a deficit reduction package, grover's worse nightmare looms on january 1st, 2013, when the bush tax cuts are scheduled to expire, thereby delivering, without even a congressional vote, the biggest tax increase in history. the obama administration indicates that the president will veto an extension of bush tax cuts for the top income tax brackets. a senior white house official told the associated press, "he won't sign a full extension. we're going to be in the position at the end of next year where the president is saying, i'm not going to sign a full extension, but send me the middle class tax cuts." friend of the show, ezra klein, catching this, asked grover norquist about his worst nightmare on "now with alex wagner today." >> they have now said no to

multiple different compromises that would have extended or made permanent the bulk of the bush tax cuts. so if they get to december of 2012, and they say, this is an unpopular position, that they would rather let all of them expire, those for the upper income taxpayers expire, the outcome could be $1.8 trillion, and it would be in a sense because of the pledge. because in being so pennywise on taxes, they became pound foolish. do you look at that with any kind of threat of concern? >> one, that's exactly the situation we were in one year ago, and democratic house and democratic senate and democratic president voted to extend all of the 2001/2003 tax cuts for a two-year period. so we have been through that before. the next time we answer this question, in addition to republican house representatives, we'll probably

have a republican senate, and there's a good chance we'll have republican presidents. >> ezra klein, "washington post" columnist and msnbc analyst joins me now. ezra, so the grover strategy is to simply cross his fingers and he believes that we are in the same political dynamic that we were the last time, which was, the president agreed to an increase -- i'm sorry, to hold the top tax bracket down, because it allowed him to hold down all the rest of the brackets. so now the question becomes, is the white house willing to go through with what is, in effect, its threat, which is to say, they will end up allowing all of the tax rates to go up, just in order to get the top tax rate to go up? >> right. and you'll notice that grover norquist did not say, no, i am not concerned, no, it is not a problem. he simply said, when this

happened two years ago, or a year ago, actually, in a different political context, we came out okay. but the reason was, the white house was very interested back then in stimulus and they felt they could get quite a lot of it by bargaining out the bush tax cutts. they did get quite a lot of it and extended them for two years. now barack obama will have either won re-election or have lost it, and there will be less of a need for stimulus. we areot in the same position we were at the very end of 2010. not to say we don't need any of it, but to say that the situation has eased somewhat. and there's good reason to believe that the white house is now serious when they say, we will veto any attempt to extend all the bush tax cuts rather than decouple the tax cuts for the rich from those from everybody else. >> ezra, you think people in the

white house are now seriously imagining a scenario in which through the president's veto, he ends up then being politically responsible, in effect, for having all tack brackets increased? >> i think to say they seriously imagine it and say they will stick to it are two different things. but i do think you have to look at it from this perspective too. let's say you work for barack obama, and you say to yourself, there's no way with the baby boomers retiring, with health care costs being what they are, with the need to have a strong domestic research and education system, that we could have the kind of revenue base that we're talking about in the discussion. that's true. they're talking about both the democrats and the republicans, tax levels that are much, much too low for what america will need in the coming decades.

you wouldn't want to say, i want to increase by $3.8 trillion. you'd want to get into a position where republican observe stance did it for you. this would be exactly what anyone would tell him to do. put republicans in a position where they let them expire in order to protect the rich. >> yeah, that would be actually perfect way to do it. and i'm all for him doing this. i am wondering, though, at some point, does the administration need to start, at least some kind of sidewise education campaign that lets america know the rates we're talking about here were the bill clinton rates of the 1990s, when everybody did very well. i mean, don't let the country get too terrified at the idea of all of these rates actually going up. >> you know, the problem is that the obama administration, going all the way back to the '08 campaign, have been fairly tax

alarmists. they have not been courageous on this issue. remember, they had this pledge never to raise taxes on anyone over $250,000. the health care bill has some tax increases that will affect people making under $250,000, but they have really boxed themselveses into a corner. and they are incoherent on this. president obama will go out and talk about the great clinton economy and attribute some of the deficit reduction that led to some of the boom to the clinton tax rates. and then he will say, i would like to extend 80% of the bush tax cuts. it doesn't actually add up all that way. but it speaks to their political strategy, which has opinion to say that the great weakness for democrats is taxes. the question's going to be, once they have won re-election or lost it, whether or not they're willing to simply say, that political strategy is over. now it's time to get the right fiscal situation in place. >> yeah, it would come at a time where the president would be in a unique political circumstance that we've never seen him in before. we'll see what the calculus is then. ezra klein, thank you very much for joining me tonight. >> thank you. coming up, the first openly gay u.s. ambassador, david hormel joins me. and the late-night comedians have a lot to be thankful for. we'll bring you the best political jokes of the season. until she heard about the value plan.

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the romney campaign strategy is now clear. mitt romney actually thinks he can lie his way into the white house. that's in the "rewrite." and james hormel made history by becoming the first openly gay person to serve as a u.s. ambassador. he joins me next. ♪

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five kids, 13 grandchildren. if anything, too qualified to become u.s. ambassador to one of the world's least important diplomatic posts, luxembourg, but hormel has now waited a full year for senate action, longer than any other nominee. why? because he is openly gay. >> that was nbc's andrea mitchell reporting in 1998. it would take eight more months and relentless attacks from the right before my next guest would finally achieve his goal, and in so doing, he became the highest ranking openly gay official in the u.s. government. joining me now, former ambassador james hormel, co-author of "fit to serve: reflections on a secret life, private struggle, and public battle to become the first openly gay u.s. ambassador." ambassador, do you think that your situation would be any different today if your nomination was pending in the united states senate?

>> well, i do think that stld be different, lawrence, and thank you for having me, by the way. the time has changed. the administration has changed. and the -- i think the voting public has indicated that they are much more willing to accept these kinds of appointments. as a matter of fact, one was made by president bush and another by president obama. so there have been three now openly gay ambassadors from the united states. >> you finally were able to get the post through a recess appointment, pushed through by president clinton. let's been to what senator kennedy had to say at your swearing in. >> there was never any honorable question about his qualifications to be ambassador. his confirmation was resisted by the senate for one reason only, because he is gay. that opposition was irresponsible and unacceptable. >> ambassador hormel, i've seen

many nominees simply remove their name from consideration when they've ran into different kinds of trouble, different sorts of resistance along the way. what made you stay with that process? >> well, actually, at the end of 1998, my nomination effectively died because of the termination of that congress. and in january of '99, the white house asked if i would allow myself to be renominated. i thought about it at length and i thought, well, i would do it if either there was a way to get the senate to vote, in which case we knew we would win, or whether the president would do a recess appointment. i was assured that one or the other would occur. so i went ahead with it. >> in your book, "fit to serve," what would you say to gay people out there who believe themselves fit to serve and are fit to serve in our government and

different positions that might require senate confirmation or other positions, where they will come under this kind of harsh scrutiny that you suffered? >> well, of course, i think that it's very important to be prepared for that kind of scrutiny. but it's also very important for one to be true to one's self. and if one is not willing to be open about his or her sexual assault, sexual orientation, or gender identity, then there will be an enormous burden, a personal burden, to carry around. and the coming out process, which includes this sort of thing is a great relief, a great personal relief and it allows the individual to move forward in his or her own life, in his or her own way, following his or her own heart. i believe that's the essence of it. >> the book is called "fit to serve: reflections on a secret life, private struggle, and

public battle to become the first openly gay u.s. ambassador." ambassador james hormel, thank you for joining me tonight and thank you very much for persevering in that mission to get yourself to that ambassadorial post. i think we became a better country and it was an important historical achievement for us to have witnessed. >> well, thank you very much, lawrence. it's a pleasure to be with you tonight. and a privilege to be able to hear my story told. thank you. >> thank you. the campaign press is still afraid to call a lie a lie. so mitt romney is not one bit afraid to lie -- about everything. from his first name to what the president has actually said. that's in the "rewrite." and the late-night comedians give thanks to the republican presidential field.

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we can no longer be surprised that the ultra-religious rick perry, or shall we just say, the publicly religious rick perry, does not know the ninth commandment. he has shown himself incapable of remembering even three consecutive bullet points, so no one should expect the poor man to remember all ten commandments, despite his flamboyant public religiousity, nor shall we expect him to understand the ninth commandment. thou shall not bear false witness against thy neighbor is too fancy a way to tell rick perry not to lie. so not understanding the ninth commandment, rick perry put out a television ad last week that was based on a lie about president obama. >> we've been a little bit lazy over the past few decades. >> can you believe that? that's what our president is think is wrong with america? that americans are lazy?

that's pathetic. >> as i showed you last week, the president was actually showing the american government had been lazy, not the american people. >> there are a lot of things that make foreign investors see the u.s. as a great opportunity. our stability, our openness, our innovative free market culture, but, you know, we've been a little bit lazy, i think, over the last couple of decades. we've kind of taken for granted, you know, people will want to come here. and we aren't out there hungry, selling america and trying to attract new businesses into america. and we think that we can do much better than we're doing right now. you know, because of our federal system, sometimes a foreign investor comes in and they've got to navigate not only federal rules, but they've also got to navigate state and local governments, that may have their own sets of interests.

>> the ninth commandment is also either escape the attention of mitt romney or is a bit too complicated for him to understand, or perhaps republicans have simply re-written the ninth commandment, dropping the word "not" and adjusting the word "neighbor." the republican ninth commander now says, in effect, thou shalt bear false witness against thy president. we showed you the the romney lie last night, and it's worth looking at again. >> thank you, new hampshire! i am confident that we can steer ourselves out of this crisis. who's going to be in charge of the economy if we need a rescue plan for the middle class. we need to provide relief for homeowners. it's going to take a new direction. if we keep talking about the economy, we're going to lose. >> and once again, here's a full version of what then-senator obama said before it was edited

by the liars at the romney campaign. >> senator mccain's campaign actually said, and i quote, if we keep talking about the economy, we're going to lose. >> when you spend every day of your life lying about your first name -- >> i'm mitt romney, and yes, wolf, that's also my first name, and i'm a husband, a father, a grandfather of 16. i love this country very much. >> the man's first name is willard, as regular viewers of this program have known for over a year. if willard will lie about that, then nothing willard says probably feels like lying. if there is a pathological liar in the presidential campaign, it is willard romney. he was asked about his lying today, but the question was phrased, of course, in the limp-brained language of the campaign press. >> governor, is it fair to take on your rivals and the president in ads that were taken out of

context? >> actually, the ad before it went out, was sent out with press releases describing that -- what the president had said about john mccain was now going to be used to be said about him. so there was no hidden effort on the part of our campaign. it was, instead, to point out that what's sauce for the goose is now sauce for the gander. and he spoke about the economy being a huge burden for john mccain, this ad points out, guess what, it's now your turn. the same lines you used on john mccain are now going to be used on you, which is that this economy is going to be your albatross. there's no question. the president's campaign and the dnc, we obviously got under their skin, because the last thing they want to be doing is talking about the economy. and the president's failure to get this economy turned around. and we're just going to take it

to them, day in and day out. >> the smiling liar used a lot of words, but didn't actually answer the question. and, of course, the question to ask mitt romney and his despicably sleazy campaign staff is, why did you lie? but lie is the word campaign reporters are afraid of using face to face with lying candidates. lie is the word "the new york times," "the washington post," and the mainstream media will never use with a political candidate, which is why the mainstream media is speeding toward irrelevance in covering a process that involves constant lying by liars who are betting they can get away with it, because the word "lie" is just not in the vocabulary of the establishment media that referees the presidential campaigns. the one sound judgment republican voters have registered this year is that they do not trust mitt romney.

they recognize that he is an inveterate liar. they don't care that the establishment news media's definition of fairness includes never using the word "lie" to describe a lie. they know a liar when they see one and hear one. mitt romney and everyone working for him should, should be ashamed of themselves, but, of course, they know no shame. they have now become professional campaign liars. but the mainstream media, and of course, fox news, will continue to accord the lying romney team all of the dignities that they would offer the most honorable among us. liars like romney, debase our politics. liars like romney depress voter turnout. liars like romney turn people away from politics. liars like romney are profoundly bad for this country. but the mainstream media will never call what romney does lying. and then they will run endless articles, filled with the

surprise and angst that american voter turnout is as low as it is. that the american voter is dispirited and uninterested in voting. the mainstream media helps deliver candidates to the ballot by never calling them liars. and then is surprised that americans don't want to stand in line to vote for the likes of mitt romney. if you want stronger voter interest in this country, if you want stronger voter participation, stop the lying in the campaigns! the candidates aren't going to stop the lying on their own. the news media has to make the candidates stop lying! but as long as the campaign press remains so afraid of calling a lie a lie, the candidates will never, ever be afraid to lie. and now, to all the sleazy liars at the romney campaign, a thanksgiving gift. here is what the obama campaign will never do to you --

>> we should lower taxes for the very highest income people. we need to help italy and help europe. we don't have to decide between the two, because they go together. americans are lazy. we have lost our inventiveness. when a corporation is profitable, that's a bad thing. take from some people and give to the others. sometimes i just don't understand america. do exactly what ron paul said. the late-night comedy writers have much to be thankful for tomorrow, as they sit down with their families for what may be the first time in months. they have been kept very busy this year by donald trump, sarah [ male announcer ] all over the world, there's a battery that's relied on to help bring children holiday joy, and while it doesn't travel by sleigh or reindeer, it does get around... in fact, every year duracell sends loads of batteries to the mattel children's hospital, u.c.l.a.

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the late-night comedy writers have much to be thankful for tomorrow, as they sit down with their families for what may be the first time in months. they have been kept very busy this year by donald trump, sarah palin, michele bachmann, herman cain, herman cain's smoking guy, rick perry's ranch, rick perry's brain, the serial polygamous newt gingrich, and the accidents of polygamists, all running for the honor of losing to president obama in the presidential election of 2012. >> yesterday obama unveiled his deficit reduction plan with yet another fiery speech from the rose garden. by taxing the rich, there is a name for what obama is trying to do here. >> i don't think i would describe class warfare as leadership. >> yes, it is class warfare. and that is unfair to rich people, who, generally speaking, would prefer not to fight our

wars. "the washington post" reports that the rick perry family hunting camp once had a racially charged name. you see, the hunting camp was evidently called -- whoo, okay. how do i put this. okay, okay. um, um -- >> governor chris christie making a stunning announcement! >> what i've always felt was the right decision remains the right decision today. now is not my time. the answer was never anything but no. >> oh, my god, chris christie, 2012! christie, 20 -- wait, what? no? oh. well, having said that he wasn't going to run in private, having said it on the television, having said it to print reporters, having tagged it is what can only be described as a

condemned trenton building, having demonstrated his position while attending a devil's game -- who paints for pre-season games -- it's over! >> you remember, we recently spent a little time analyzing over the last few months that sarah palin had been traveling the country in a constitution-wrapped bus visiting primary states, which presented two very distinct possibilities -- you are either running for the president of the united states or you are a crazy person. well, last night sarah palin went on fox news, bravely supporting a lapel pin that could have easily carried her away in itsal lo talons to provide the answer. >> no, i'm not running. >> so the answer is, crazy person. >> the republicans held their eighth debate in new hampshire. after every debate, these guys get criticized. the front-runners have been

putting out commercials. >> hello, i'm herman cain, former ceo of godfather's pizza. recently, i unveiled a bold new tax plan called the 9-9-9 plan. ♪ 9-9-9 ♪ not 10 ♪ it's a tax plan for america ♪ courtesy of herman cain ♪ the black republican ♪ 9-9-9 ♪ is awesome ♪ the cost of a regular pizza ♪ eat it here or take it to go ♪ 9-9-9 ♪ pizza >> the republican candidate herman cain's has a new campaign ad out that a lot of people are talking about, because it's really quite odd at the end, and

it's all over the internet. take a look. >> we can take this country back. ♪ i am america ♪ one voice united we stand ♪ i am america >> guy looks like he owns an adult bookstore. >> it turns out that presidential candidate herman cain was accused of sexually harassing two women in the '90s. which explains his new campaign slogan, "did somebody order a pizza with extra sausage?" >> these ladies are the real harassers, hiding behind their anonymity just because they were paid a settlement to leave their jobs in exchange for their silence. and the you don't talk, clearly you're lying. but cain is allowed to speak, therefore, he is telling the truth. it's a classic case of he said/she's legally prohibited