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tv   Absurd  NTV  January 1, 2023 7:20pm-9:01pm MSK

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sergei khoroshevsky vlad raduevich and boris felchikov, ntv european bureau western serbia top news by this time right now the continuation of the series of absurdity at 21:00 on ntv air the grand new year's superfinal of the superstar show return happy new year. all the best and see you soon.
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i'm with dan you and igor a vanka with alik it's logical
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hi how are you? hands up i will stand and shoot. what happened, that they were shooting? the swede tried to get into the house and left until the morning not to quarrel, i know him well. three points what kind of ninja
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they get under our feet in a wheelbarrow, how did the swedes come out with a camera and where else is the second one? and where do you share?
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i'm telling you, the escape is in preparation.
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chief listen like this. maybe you know where our pebbles are and where herman is, because no one knows this now. herman just disappeared, i don't even know in the city or not. at least he's alive, what do you think, i don't think anything. but there are local cops turned out to be rubbish.
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so what are we going to do? i called the governor on me so that i could figure it out myself. there will be no help. yes? be quiet. they are needed. well what if they draw no one knows where they come from and who are they to look for? nobody will. here we tried to talk. and what happened, only the weapons were lost and there is authority. i have a couple of thoughts tomorrow in a day we will gather all the people, we will go around, you are already proposing to organize a war in the hunting village. and our cops will be afraid to fight your bandos.
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all oil is gone.
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fine. did you understand okay? look well tell us who i am , well really. felon a bunch of convictions klitschko-jack soon to
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go to sit again, but they promised parole. take oil. thank you dear. thank you. understood. yes, we all know for a long time. but you are great. the class is so romantic. from the little bastard
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, he told him not even to think, urka, drill. how he broke into our house tonight, and dan is a decent boy. i took a closer look at him and the profession is in my hands with this computer. what's good? well, all this is good, it means not to rob, not to steal. he won't, i'm katya 's a great couple, but so that your son-in-law doesn't sit down anymore, you'll look after strategic thinking, nadya .
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comrade colonel, permit me to address you. come on already, what happened to you people disappeared, your new deputy strokov godfather dubinin and dna vasin disappeared. what kind of nonsense? what does disappeared mean? where did we turn them over in the season ? there is to find, and also communication from the night, no, not by wire, no.
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we'll kill the men, and take the women hostage. so it's still dangerous in the house full of people. so you're already number one?
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i see the questions i answer, immediately in the city of riots the crowd defeated the department. all the same to one you that, and that i have connections with the continent no, i'm officers disappear without a trace for three heads married. in a literal sense. you guys need to do something about the situation
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getting out of control. first in russia oh, swear. even this small bone will be enough to repair our theater and each of the corpses for a prize. egorov already knows he was told, i think not the time until later
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there is not only enough for a new theater. i don't know how it happened. and in general, shut up, you allowed an
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epidemic in your zone in peace this time, coffins trucks. take it out, what the hell? stop panic you have a connection with the mainland. there is a connection. truth, only the truth. this is the only chance to save our heads.
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are you a kid there with a hangover or maybe you have premature dementia, and maxim evgenievich well, i ask you to report the situation to moscow do you want me to report to the kremlin there are no zombies, but against which you are taking measures you want to put me in a madhouse forever? listen here they send a helicopter for you, personally, that's all for me report and take the security forces with you. they also have questions. let's send for these inferior turntables. come here. remember, i
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reported to you that the helicopter is on its last legs. why all of a sudden there was money allocated for repairs? well, your chairman of the anti-corruption committee buys them nothing. and the waves swallowed the earth with all its non-frequencies and only one family escaped on a floating craft. it was a one-time action. and now evolution has prepared a new plan for us - a deadly virus, not bringing death itself, what is worse than death? you ask me. and how can it be death immortality elementary brain dies, but the body continues to live walks and bites. what is the harbinger of the whole cataclysm is human aggression and loss of people. look around you, you see aggression, you feel it, and the people around you are in full presence or there is a difference from the permanent list. what
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happens in the local area? where do the prisoners disappear from it? think about the music, what was it? maybe it's a psycho now talking, but people disappear somewhere. zeki disappears all as if crazy, this is incomprehensible. something i want more and more in the national economy. and away from here. i tell you the truth, the last days are coming, which you need to decide with whom you are zombies or living people for the dead, the grave and death for people, the struggle and life, victory will be ours. inhabitants of lensk. in these hard days. we are journalists, we promise to support and keep you. in the very center of events to speak the
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truth and only the truth. stay with us and see you on the air. enough is enough his people completely moved out of the coils, we will continue to fight until death or victory, and no one can stop us. you're fine. okay, this is completely crazy, but you, we have achieved all our goals. nst is now on the front pages of stolichnaya newspapers on the internet, we were quoted right and left yesterday. we are already famous. well, it's time to stop. and today today they quoted. how do i know idiot? it was you who ordered the cell towers to be broken, but now they are not. internet towers zombified people, we helped fight against zombies.
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to the city for the news. no need for a radio to help against zombies, it has a different wave nature , positive, huh?
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power we start our festive new year's show finale with a grand piggy bank, diamonds, a festive
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neighbor. what is the beauty of the number? superb superfinal very, very soon we will all know the superstar show. the return
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was arranged by tycho. you move that fork drawn, where whoever is like me was arrested walkie-talkie chaos. where are you going for your own
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safety? lawyer what kind of run? you don't boil. i am everything now will explain. i will answer for the market. i went to the zone from the head of the legal department of the regional administration. we must hold new elections. until then, we can't do anything. why can’t we now this kolobok will sign the order, and the appointment of his two deputies is completely in his power. well , then he appoints the first deputy instead of himself, and he himself, and the arbitrator himself you let go of your hands and write.
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approximately here. you say in words, how far is it to the nearest housing, then fuck how far, well, nale
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, some kind of zombie turns out to make people idiots is easier than turning them into zombies. radiation we will look at it like that petrovich said, do not provoke people will kill someone. intervene let's go the latest news. as it became known to our editors, the leadership of the city and the commanders of power units. including the chief of the zone left the ensk for a helicopter at the moment. we are absolutely right. it is known that the city is blocked from all sides video it is an absolute quarantine all contact with the mainland is cut off all forms of communication are disabled so that
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the residents of the city and the personnel of the zone cannot transfer. i will remind the truth of his information outside the quarantine territory. how it all started first in the local zone. there was an outbreak of a deadly infection of the zombie virus , many prisoners died and the guards did not take their corpses out at night into the taiga and buried them there. after that, instead of the dead, artists representing convicts were brought to the zone, then the police ate the infected mammoth. with the same virus, the epidemic began to mow down the police, part of the dead in the consequences lived and poses a threat to living people because of its terrible aggressiveness carnivorous and their high contagiousness. listen to the next newscast in exactly 40 minutes. that's where they disappeared, the dna of the first castle we guys. and what will we do now without a boss, we will all die from where this virus comes from? come on, what are we going to do? i’m here, and i’m not even an officer, i
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’ll call, there’s no one else, everyone died. i'm like, zone chief now. so then go to my office. maybe there are answers to our questions? valentina andreevich criminal nickname jack is not a jack. guys
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understand, it's too late, something to hide the situation went very far. well, it's true, throw the real artists away, but no one died, there was no epidemic, then, where the real prisoners were taken somewhere by train, where they now don't know, well, you understand, yes, she herself knows almost nothing or simply does not want to tell us or cannot. i'm telling the truth, so all the games are over, there's nothing more to do here, throw the zone artists. you're an idiot if you don't know what the hell to guard them at all.
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let's go guys, let's go. there is something strange here.
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it seems that this scheme is an underground working. and here this entrance leads out of the zone to the prison cemetery judging by the map i'll be waiting for help here. together with the
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pilot but then happy to stay petrovich let's go let's go. sisters you sit down the market is important there is a body. dear citizens
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chief vertukhay that is the chief of police. please, he is in charge of the village hearth. well, that is finance and supply. what, yes, how, in short, your former boss plundered a net zero. at their own neighbors in the village, so that according to all laws, that according to criminal laws, even thieves, even humanly there is rat-keeping, they will answer for everything to the people,
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where we are going to take the money from the arrested rats. they have everything full, well, there are cars. we'll come to the rally again, we'll see, we 'll listen. listen to the crowd. your car will turn over in an instant. people don’t really like cops lately, but here kiss to death here in the next block of the hospital in
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which alaska lies dark night without evil forces hellish vile ones will come here to hunt for people will be their rotten teeth. a bullet in the head, he walks, tell me, good man, where where where it goes. this stinking creature hospital, i'll show you where it is cheers for me.
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let's go finish the gods, in the name of all who write and live, go ahead. bro t do you recognize me? alaska hear me? and you don’t have to stand here zombies park with the
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superstar world final today at 21:00 on ntv
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breathe there is a conversation. where is your police, what is going on in the city? dispersed all their guards from me, whatever you want, do not go across the sniff. we need your advice in the city. that's
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what the crowds go cars burn some kind of pogrom continuous second day zombie t one by one. then we'll think in half an hour we'll get together. stop what you are doing people. what are you doing? why don't we want to turn into
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zombies? radiation? listen, all this was invented by my journalists to raise the rating for the sensation no zombies, no bey kind. we'll knock down the castle and spend the night. and tomorrow we will think, let's
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call the men, now we will drag the tree away from the city.
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now i see. and who is with you? vanka my partner? the rest of my friends are family? and neighbors. we really need your help to remember us. and i knew it would. well, what exactly do you need in the city, and here we have trailer with women with kids. i know what's going on in the city. well, we have what next we only need to hide the women and children at your place, and then we will return to the city and try to restore order there.
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it's because of a few assholes that all this absurdity is happening. i'm one of these coming crazy. it turns out that we were in vain umbrellas left. i think it would become a trap for you, the forest, you have to leave to sit out, all this nightmare then returned.
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teachers, i think they are all infected with zombie berus right, you think we need to capture them before they turn into zombies and we will shove the return zone into cells and under guard so that they do not run away. and how will they all turn into zombies, we'll kill another
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one who does not recognize your light one, he does not believe in the purification of nature and zombie viruses peck at us. here with this question. wow.
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listen and in fact whom his bath with mentally on the whole head.
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two three who are the artists who are the artists?
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well, what a pain, it's like artists, the head of the zone specially ordered them to rub glasses for the european commission, and he put real prisoners on a train and sent them to ride around the country. i can no need to read yet. ofiget let's skip
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thank you what else are you a mess in our family? what
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else is wrong? you and i have two daughters, but where is the son? what can i do so happened? well, it means you have to try to make it different. what are you doing, i'm doing my son.
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you are not cold, honey, why are you freezing yourself? well, quietly, quietly, quietly, come on, come on, what are you? yes , we never even had a case, we somehow dropped paddy wagons at the station, we were late for 40 minutes, and we were on damp ground for 40 minutes. yes, they sat on a frosty thirty, let a you know everyone got sick.
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who will you be in life? and the ointment will be announced by the master, that now, if you are now scared of me
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, scared, dear, scared, he's not the topic here. people help.
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here is the sticker.
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will not know. wow you are. and what is this pope python, and who is this? especially dangerous those who do not believe them in a separate chamber stone
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by stone we will build everything that we want with the brightest colors of hundreds of paintings, everyone who is still able to love will definitely love, we will shoot like stars at us in the night sky. we stand on tiptoe and reach for sun by hand. we are like ringing raindrops that have become huge records. if all the lamp is sewn up, there will be no darkness left, and everything that began as a dream will certainly come true.
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already achieved a lot already rose. the main thing is not to stop even higher. another success thank you for being with us for 30 years megafon is just the beginning. so, brothers, the stones are already with us, and i propose to put herman in a bathhouse.
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oh, of course, i knew that sooner or later your new police would lose control over the city, but so much so, when the inter-gender police, such jambs, never borya what about the police or the police? it's my fault. that's exactly what started it all because of your idiotic radio appearances. by the way a. why do you journalists. it took these rumors pogroms panic. i didn't know it would all work out like this. i just wanted to raise the rating to attract additional advertising so that the federal media would refer to us. so this is
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a joke. so we're leaving after lunch. igor dan i'm alik stay here to protect women and children mother, well, there with dinner 5 minutes, my good?
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it is not clear that some inappropriate people from the city are going on; business these need to be unleashed will help to run anyway nowhere.
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sonibot people is there anyone here?
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the man on the poster new power bandits dispersed order put things in order. we now have no crooks, no thieves, no extortionists, golden guys, man. the boys will start the gangway like this, in short, from those
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grandmas that we took from the devil, i took malek and ordered to buy fuel for our power plant. say rails doesn't work. no i took care of that, so the helicopter transport will arrive today at lunchtime, along with fuel. i have a question about flour and sugar. i wanted bro. look who you brought.
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okay, we've arrived. why do you have a convoy? why is the criminal the head of the village? well, comrade chief for a long time to explain it so happened, we left. yekaterinburg
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the convoy will not leave for several days. and in general, we quit our jobs here, they love us better, they respect us here, and in general it ’s more pleasant to do something good than to guard prisoners. well, yes, i also can not have my choice. there, grinya has to feed the village out, he has no time for a pig in the ministry of internal affairs. so comrade boss. excuse me, we continue our spring
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type well, the citizens of the heads of physical education understand this, you are a judge, and you are a prosecutor. so far, yes, but in light of recent events, we are no longer very sure of this. but this is correct, which means that it is necessary to hold a trial against the chiefs of police, the bandits of the hooves, the former head of the village, well, and their sixes. this is not so easy to do,
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and certain materials are the result of this for me . and you look at what you see in these. material well, if you want to redeem yourself, today at 4:00 in the afternoon all the bandits and colored garbage will be received on time, the prosecutor's office will have time.
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write an indictment by four. the court will also have time to prepare for the trial and sentencing before 4 excellent, comrade forward to administer justice not as usual, but honestly and what's wrong with the concepts? and the lawlessness
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of these devils and decided on the gangway. to determine which tank of the heads of the garbage the head of the village as reptiles of the first category to award according to the gold piece of the total the rest of the devils to be recognized as reptiles, to close the second category for 8 years on one face, the verdict is final and others sources cannot be reversed. take away
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what the zone has left must return there. well, they didn’t think bad, and we have trunks of former cops. bye.
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divorced everything. my friend managed to gain a foothold in the prison, but this is not enough. evil creatures, the enemies of the human race, go to war with their teeth, sharpen their claws ; we didn't sign up here to escape the big cops zombie, please. true faith in our just cause but know it will come, now
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listen to me, what are we going to do? let's arrange together all a real fortress, so that we can hold out for a year of siege from the unclean, bring food here, collect weapons, bring stones and pitch on the walls, go and all the faithful and pure. tell them to come here and tell them judgment day is on the doorstep. and only thanks to the timely intervention of the teacher, we with great difficulty managed to take the situation under control. all carriers of zombie viruses are isolated in the zone and taken under special protection, and all sources of harmful radiation that allows the virus to mutate us are almost completely destroyed. now
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advertising noodles to hang people on the ears of the liberators. says the editor-in-chief of the city staff we call on all healthy forces to join those who are trying to fix it.
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hello if you have a driver's license and i work for free for cigarettes, food and sex. m glance today at midnight.
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retreat. cemetery
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petrovich
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so this is the zone we are here. we are comrade colonel.
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we need to think, as a zone from these crazy rescuers, what is there to think, comrade colonel, if they could get here from there , we can do everything there, yes, they exactly, just over there the boiler will turn out to be on this one, just need to go at the gate more. well, in the sense of deceiving them, they will think that we went there, and the exit is here.
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and they arrived early, because it was no longer possible to stay there. why do you have convicts with weapons? where the convoy all quit, and there in the helicopter are new convicts convicted by court in our zone. resigned so it's better than it was different when worse. what's happening?
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why no bitch? this is my sofa. what are you doing , i forgot who i am toad
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said that we would meet. i will complain to the teacher .
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how is that? they returned from the north. they could break their legs all over the country and even new convicts were escorted from time to time. yes , they say no firmly. we embarked on the path of correcting them. well, they were condemned to be in the zone, so they will be in the zone, only as guards. all as the court ordered. and what? you have nowhere for me to run, and yes, the jack of rights could have escaped. they fled and returned. yes , just one question. and who will now act as head of the communion code instead of dubinin
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city in ruins, the intimidated population was to explain to people that there were no zombies . no, i’m not planned at all, but everything was more difficult with dubinin aji, the architrave power, difficult for the city, ran for days, we tried to
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return it, but to no avail. with what a special commission was created to restore order and justice in our city , they chose me as the chairman of the commission. how again and emergency judge ask? i see the barrel pulls out and ambush sits under my apartment. well, i immediately realized it would wet me i decided to leave the forest, and i kept the stones and handed them over to the commission, please release me from
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responsibility. who do i think is innocent. i agree. i know, because i had a bang in the head, i thought i was dead offer. please consider my sincere confession. and
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the help of the consequences of our festive new year's finale of the show grandiose festive superfinal
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today at 21:00 on ntv, their comrades, er, members of the commission, instructed me to announce our general decision. so, all involved provocations , huge beatings, close dubinin in the ensk zone for a period of 5 years for trying to makarek alaska to close a dozen psychics for eight journalists karina bogdana to be recognized as
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victims of idiocy and release from real life, but assign 300 hours of corrective labor to restore and repair the building of the local police department. sorry police. the commission made a decision well, we, in turn, report. that we return to the city and to the official service of the ministry of internal affairs is overcome. and we recognize the police
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as cops. blood brothers renounce their criminal past and criminal lifestyle and solemnly swore. and promise come on,
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come on, come on.
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since then, we have been guarding their gold. by the way, this is already my third yes commander juicy story.
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however, the end of the road has arrived. i wish you good health . hello. according to my documents, but we have 8. i mean, what the hell is the head of the film company?
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you that whether immediately to itself.
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but what number, what beauty number? was very, very, very soon we will all know the superstar show. return and every
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time for a century, farewell we have another surprise. meet right now on ntv return was hot five of the strongest contestants and two stages. the first part of the semi-final of the song of the superstars of previous seasons, the second part of the super duets roksana babayan undressed on stage.

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