and. which is we lit it up. we had three of the. victims in the right key that they were expiring rapidly we pulled them out of the car and we started doing it for a state i called a corpsman the corpsman came and got the three bodies and took them back to the patel i and surgeon corpsman came back dump the bodies on the side of the road and went over to the corpsman. what do you do and how can you bring him back you need to get him out of your you need to get him back to an area where they can see a surgeon corpsman there's nothing we can do for him so we're going to leave you know you can leave the bodies on the side of the road

and i said yeah well you want to do staff. so i want you to compatible up so they dumped him on the side of the road and. move the guys brother he come running over to him and he just said they're holding them while they roll around on the on the asphalt on a highway. they're rolling around in pain they didn't even give many morphine. the guy's brother. he kept running around and he had his hands in his in this and his face. he's just crying and sobbing and he's saying why did you kill my brother. we didn't do anything to you we're not terrorists.

now remember i remember i just want to i wanted to close my years i didn't want to hear just sat there and he's time that he said it. was like it was permanently being. burned into my brain. and. i lost that's the last night or gotten a good night's sleep the night before that. you're going round and round with. the next morning lieutenant you

walked up to me and he said. are you all right you seem a little distressed a little agitated. no sir no sir not all right and. so i'm pretty pissed off what we're what we're doing over here. he said it will give me your interpretation of what we're doing over here. and. for what we're trying to accomplish over here. i just looked at him and i said it well said honestly feel that we're committing genocide. and he didn't like my answer and he stormed off towards the. ceo's vehicle. and i knew at that point that my career was done across the line and i knew i had

to watch my back and grow our eyes. so after that night i pretty much slept with my no i millimeter underneath my poncho liner within easy reach. me in the dark the dark days. when i first came back from vietnam in one thousand six to six i saw protestors out speak in. i don't want to hear it i did believe it to get away from it i put in a ten forty nine to go back to vietnam because i was what a tar and we'll wired up and i don't think it would have taken a much for me to take one of the protesters out failed had i stayed here i would

have ended up killing some people and i could do it legally in vietnam so i put in a ten forty nine to go back i think i was looking at just the full cation of doing what i'll be doing of killing. it was all a do on my second tour when i began to realize that something was wrong when i came back to the states i want to washington d.c. to the white house or i talk to someone a the next and just say that i would not go back to vietnam. when i arrive back stateside i was ordered to report into the middle health clinic in twenty nine palms. the. psychologists looked at me and she said. why don't deal with conscientious objectors. and. just about last.

for them to label me as a conscientious objector that's the ultimate slap in the face you're called be a conscience objector i just killed thirty plus individuals for you and you calling me a conscience objector no. i stood up and i was a ma'am if you want to label me as a conscientious objector for not wanting to kill innocent civilians then i'll see you court. i went down and hired an attorney. a man by the name of mr gary myers. and. mr mars was represented during the may lie trials. and. mr myers in the marine corps came to a. very discrete mutual understanding i was on or billy discharged

december thirty first two thousand and three and here i am. i. came back i think that that sense of a long term planning was gone. i went through a divorce some things i did recklessly probably in the back of my mind i would not have minded. but. i went through a period when. i. could. or on. and about it and thought of mainz. on a long period of severe drug abuse. i finally got to the point where i had no warning. i had no more car. i had long

since moved out of my house and could not come back home exactly where do you go from here. and it was when the national guard needed someone with. my experience in teaching people how to fly they armed helicopters the cobras and i was asked to come in and help train some of those folks and the money was. you know fifteen twenty thousand dollars a year for part time work and it carried a retirement with even though i had and a change of heart about wars i needed the money the first come home and you meet really forget about everything. and you go to

mcdonald's you go to all your favorite restaurants and you do all your favorite things and you're having a great time and you know and then all of a sudden you wake up one day and you're like wait a minute i'm not having a good time anymore. starting with think about this i'm starting to think about that because all the newness has worn off your home i'm alive i got my arm i got my legs i'm alive. but then the mind the mind starts catching up. with everything else. i found myself going through my gear prepping like i'm getting ready to go to combat i mean i even look for suicide bombers you know anything out of the anything out of the ordinary. once you reach that level of your senses being that heightened it's hard to turn it off it's like being in

a cage tiger. and soon after. i got back in december of forty four there was nobody you can talk to you know there was nobody who had been in combat around. i can remember still seeing that. red glow on the tip of a christ. and my god i was home. one day you're killing somebody they're trying to kill you and the next day you're sitting in a bar in new york city it's it's crazy. and i don't so normal nobody knows it your hand at work nobody you know if you've got a you got a headache or you've got a hole in your head you can't see. when i wrote home that i was wounded

i had been in france from middle of august to i was it dad said to the newspaper reporter who interviewed him he was only there for a few days that was to me the only was a at that time not now was a real rejection of who i was as a man he didn't last he didn't make it he got hit. and i think i didn't even understand it then but that started a decline in our relationship which spiraled downward downward downward. so you don't talk about it or go sit on it. and see i was lucky

why didn't i can't why didn't i both somebody you know guys do that or why did no prometheus why didn't i do this. i once tried i got on a stool and. i remember i was living in the y. in new york city totally alone i don't just to put my bathrobe sash iraq hung it sort of share. and why i got down was because. my friends. i had made after the war who had been through the same thing i had and i kept if i did that to myself i would betray. the bond we had.

coochie a vietnam federer for taint one thousand and sixty six by a.p. they call it hell's halfacre because of the american bull. that had been stale there tano do well and viet cong snipers have done most of the damage today was no exception on the second but tagging on the twenty seventh and for a tree that framed wall founds moved out to attack the snipers open out from such perfectly camouflaged positions the most of the a copy what the whole day without seeing one of the enemy a sergeant was hit in the shoulder in the leg as he rolled over a third shot were up to his back.

a medic broke from cover and rushed to his side as he dropped to his knees to began given a bullet smashed into the stomach. both the sergeant and the medic guy and a teller about lodge was laid down to screen a squad gone after the wall and it especially his fourth won't it in the help cross the deadly fifty yards with the fallen to us he was hit again this was an old. you were there yes it's hard to bring back to minimum. i don't know first name in the national radio shack when they were building up to go on to think about my grandson

. they were of age where. if they had to draft they would be drafted so i start thinking of what i could do to protect them to keep them from rolling. join the military but the same reasons that the young people join now because it is that poor people a lot of people on the lower end of the economic scale of the ones that fight these wars. even though rob my gma merit came out years later and say it vietnam was a mistake it did not take the brain from me nor did it take the guilt that i carried for killing people when i went to vietnam i was a card court. and i believed what i was going there was the right thing and i was

a good soldier but now i'm a soldier on the other side and i think i'm just as good. i sold my soul a long time ago i'm just here trying to recover. the navy uniform and i do for. people ask me why aren't you afraid to go to prison i mean you're saying you're a war criminal. brother i'm already in prison this is veterans for peace chapter zero nine nine western north carolina hoping that this moment registers in everyone's mind that this is one of the total costs of war. a the old. the old.

the. sick food festooned who is a great war political a one world a vine wall was a scene who stopped our clocks though we met him grim and gay and i know people who got their clock stopped so badly they never got beyond drugs booze women suicide whatever you want to caught and that happened to me and i think my clock was stopped for close to forty years before i got over that i was ashamed i was ashamed that i had been wounded i was ashamed that i hadn't been a hero i never understood that my problems with my parents my problems with my wife my ex-wife were buried in the fact

that i had gotten blown up i'd never i never understood it repressed it totally and then. i began to go to a coffee shop and i would hear the big bands of the night hundred forty five and i would weep like a baby in public i had no idea that what i was doing i could weep right now was going back and try to find that the little boy all night and what happened. the fall of eighty four i was driven to go back to fly to look some birds to spend the night there to rent a car and file and find the place where i was wounded on september seventh one thousand and forty four. and then suddenly. i found the bridge that we crossed it had been blown when i'd been shot. i

discovered to the hour and the moment where i had been wounded forty years before and i cannot explain it but that discovery began my healing. my generation really were pressed with the war was about we didn't want to talk about it we weren't allowed to talk about it and then slowly in the one nine hundred eighty s. and one nine hundred ninety s. this whole thing of the greatest generation occurred it was wonderful you know the greatest generation what a nice thing to call us and we forgot what we had done we forgot that we had been animals for a while. war is about one thing it's about killing you either learn to kill somebody else or you get killed or wounded yourself and that's why i've become to solo the idea of war. that's all the purple.

vietnam assault on us cost don't what may i think of it every day. to fire back from it to memorise still go to counseling for. and. it's is now worth it but what i did do was madness to find some good in that war. vietnam a me a better person and made people more. made me understand that we are all one one people. there's a certain amount of guilt i think you learn to live with you compartmentalize it or unite you rationalize you see and i call that excuses i mean i really don't have to make excuses even. so there are things i wish i had not done.

but there's no way to change. the. last. laugh. when you come to the point that you're not sure you're actually much but there are more snow on the way to saturday and disagreement. and kind of like the poster you can have your own war and i. loathe luxury.

i.

this. i think.

so. i'm not. saying. this in the. least but want to. get. in taiwan he's available. the how would

be sure to type the hotel hotel while shall his the groom photo the show with her town. full of hotel. the hotel typee. town springs. hotel while she plans on the bus in the town. evergreen clothes a hotel in thailand thailand is hotel time to type the full point and. the. telling touch of girl the photo. how an international house. hotel.

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east. end of talk start of action the u.s. senator wraps up debate on the nuclear cuts treaty with russia on the way for a final vote expected to take place as soon as this wednesday. mutes russia and the u.k. expel a diplomat from each other's embassies overseas specialism espinosa. reports that the u.s. is putting to expand its afghan campaign ground raids in neighboring pakistan threaten to strain relations between washington and run about. multibillion dollar deals to explore in the ball they look good industry reports on

the second day of president bennett's visit to india. and israel into the christmas season spending on credit cards it's a new business news is in twenty minutes. twelve news and much more twenty four hours a day this is l.t. the final vote on the nuclear arms reduction treaty between moscow and washington is expected in the u.s. senate on wednesday brings to an end months of debate on capitol hill but the deal faced strong opposition from republicans parties got it if you can has more from washington. the chairman of the foreign relations committee john kerry said they would vote as early as in the afternoon on wednesday he also said he is sure the democrats have the sixty seven votes of approval needed to.