baghdad stadium this is key it came into our area and actually stopped about seventy five meters in front of my vehicle that tells you how far the vehicle came into our perimeter and. which is we lit it up. we had three of the. victims in the right key that there were expiring rapidly we pulled them out of the car and we started doing it for a state i called a corpsman the corpsman came and got the three bodies and took them back to the patel i and surgeon. corpsman came back dump the bodies on the side of the road and went over to the corpsman. what do you all do and how can you bring him back you need to get him out of your you need to get him back to an area where they can see

a surgeon and corpsman there's nothing we can do for him so we're going to leave you know you can leave the bodies on the side of the road and i said yeah well you want to do staff. so i want you to compatible up so they dumped him on the side of the road and. knew the guys brother you come running over to him and he just said they're holding them while they roll around on the on the asphalt on a highway. they're rolling around in pain they didn't even give many morphine. the guy's brother. he kept running around and he had his hands in his in this

and his face. he's just crying and sobbing and he's saying why did you kill my brother. we didn't do anything to you we're not terrorists. remember i remember i just want to i wanted to close my years i didn't want to hear just sat there and he's time that he said it. it was like it was permanently being . burned into my brain. and. i lost that's the last night or gotten

a good night's sleep the night before that. and then on. the next morning lieutenant you walked up to me and he said sas. are you all right you seem a little distressed a little agitated. no sir no sir not all right. and. so i'm pretty pissed off to what we're what we're doing over here. he said it will give me your interpretation of what we're doing over here. and. for what we're trying to accomplish over here. i just looked at him and i said it well said honestly feel that we're committing genocide and.

he didn't like my answer and he stormed off towards the. ceo's vehicle. and i knew at that point that my career was done. across the line and i knew i had to watch my back and grow eyes. so after that night i pretty much slept with my no i millimeter underneath my poncho liner within easy reach. me in the dark the dark days. when i first came back from vietnam in one thousand six to say i saw protesters out speak in. i don't want to hear it i did believe it to get away from it i put in

a ten forty nine to go back to vietnam because i was what atar and we'll wired up and i don't think it would have taken a much for me to take one of the protesters out failed had i stayed either i would have ended up killing some people and i could do it legally in vietnam so i put in a ten forty nine to go back and i think i was looking at just the full cation of doing what i'll be doing of killing. it was all a do on my second tour when i began to realize that something was wrong when i came back to the states i want to washington d.c. to the white house or i talk to someone a the next and just say that i would not go back to vietnam.

when i arrived back stateside i was ordered to report into the middle health clinic in twenty nine palms. the. psychologists looked at me and she said. why don't deal with subject. and. just about last. for them to label me as a conscientious objector that's the ultimate slap in the face you're called be a conscience objector i just killed thirty plus individuals for you and you calling me a conscience objector no. stood up and us. ma'am if you want to label me as a conscientious objector for not wanting to kill innocent civilians then i'll see you court. i went down and hired an attorney. a man by the name of mr gary myers. and.

mr mars was represented during the may lie trials. and. mr myers in the marine corps came to a. very discreet mutual understanding i was on or billy discharged december thirty first two thousand and three and here i am. when i came back i think that that sense of a long term planning was gone. i went through a divorce some things i did reckless way probably in the back online i would not have minded dying homo. but my. i went through a period when. t.c.p. cocaine are on a. an about it and set of names. long period

of severe drug abuse. i finally got to the point of rock had no warning and. i had no more car i had long since moved out of my house and i could not go back home exactly where do you go from here. and it was when the national guard needed someone in my my experience and teaching people how to fly the armed helicopters the cobras and i was asked to come in and help train some of those folks and the money was. you know fifteen twenty thousand dollars a year for part time work and it carried a retirement with even though i had and

a change of heart about wars i needed the money you first come home and you meet lee forget about everything. and you go to mcdonald's you go to all your favorite restaurants and you do all your favorite things and you're having a great time and you know and then all of a sudden you wake up one day and you're like wait a minute i'm not having a good time anymore. starting with think about this i'm sorry think about that because all the newness has worn off your whole i'm alive i got my arm i got my legs i'm alive. but then the mind the mind starts catching up. with everything else. i find myself going through my gear prepping like i'm getting ready to go to combat i mean i even look for suicide bombers you know anything out of the anything out of

the ordinary. once you reach that level of your senses being that heightened it's hard to turn it off so i'm being in a cage tiger. soon after. i got back in december of forty four there is nobody you can talk to you know there was nobody who had been in combat around. i can remember still seeing that glow red glow on the tip of a christ. and my god i was home. one day you're telling somebody they're trying to kill you and the next day you're sitting in a bar in new york city it's it's crazy. i

took so normal nobody you know is it your hand at work nobody you know if you got a you got a headache or you got a hole in your head you can't see. when i wrote home that i was wounded i had been in france from middle of august to i was good dad said to the newspaper reporter who interviewed him he was only there for a few days that was to me the only was a at that time not now was a real rejection of who i was as a man he didn't last he didn't make it he got hit. and i think i didn't even understand it then but that started

a decline in our relationship which spiraled downward downward downward. so you don't talk about it. you sit on it. and see i was lucky why didn't i can't why didn't i both somebody you know guys do that or why did no permit me why didn't i do this. i want to try i got on a stool and. i remember i was living in the y. in new york city totally alone i don't just to put my bathroom sasha rock hung it sort of share. and why i got down was because. my friends. i had made after the war who had been through the same thing i had and i felt if i did that to myself i would betray. the bond we had.

coochie a vietnam federer for taint one thousand and sixty six by a.p. they call it hell's halfacre because of the american bull. that had been stale there tano do well and viet cong snipers have done most of the damage today was no exception on the second but tagged on the twenty seventh and for troy the framed wall founds moved out to attack the snipers opened up from such perfectly camouflaged positions the most of the

a copy what the whole day without seeing one of the enemy a sergeant was hit in the shoulder in the leg as a rolled over a third shot were up to his back. a medic broke from cover and rushed to his side as he dropped to his knees to began given a bullet smashed into the stomach both the sergeant and the medic die and out tillable lodge was laid down to screen a squad go on after the wall and it especially his fourth wonted in the help cross the deadly fifty yards with the fallen to us he was hit again this was an old. you were there yes

it's hard to bring back to my name right now no words no i mean real national you know. when they were building up to go on to think about my grandson. they were of age where. if they had to draft they will be drafted so i start thinking of what i could do to protect them to keep them from a role why. i joined the military but the same reasons that the young people join now because it is the poor people out of people on the lower end of the economic scale of the ones that fight these wars. even though rob i'm i've no merit came out years later and say it vietnam was a mistake it did not take the brain from me nor did it

take the guilt that i carried for killing people when i went to vietnam i was a hard core true and i believed what i was dole in there was the right thing and i was a good soldier but now i'm a soldier on the other side and i think i'm just as good. i sold my soul a long time ago i'm just here trying to rebuild. the navy uniform and i do for. people as we want you free to go to prison i mean you're saying you're a war criminal. brother i'm already in prison this is veterans for peace chapter zero nine nine western north carolina hoping that this moment registers in

everyone's mind that this is one of the total costs of war. the old. the old. the. sick food test to know who is a great war political war one wrote a vine wall was a scene who stopped our clocks though we met him grim and gay and i know people who got their clocks stopped so badly they never got beyond drugs booze women suicide whatever you want to caught and that happened to me and i think my clock was stopped for close to forty years before i got over the fact i was ashamed i was ashamed that i had been wounded i was ashamed that i hadn't

been a hero i never understood that my problems with my parents my problems with my wife my ex-wife were buried in the fact that i had gotten blown up i never i never understood it repressed it totally and then. i began to go to a coffee shop and i would hear the big bands of the night hundred forty five and i would weep like a baby in public i had no idea that what i was doing i could reply to was going back and trying to find that the little boy all night and what happened. the fall of eighty four i was driven to go back to fly to look some birds to spend the night there to rent a car and file and find the place where i was wounded on september seventh one

hundred forty four. and then suddenly. i found the bridge that we crossed it had been blown when i'd been shot. i discovered to the hour at the moment where i had been wounded forty years before and i cannot explain it but that discovery began my healing. my generation really repressed with the war was about we didn't want to talk about it we weren't allowed to talk about it and then slowly in the one nine hundred eighty s. and one nine hundred ninety s. this whole thing of the greatest generation occurred it was wonderful you know the greatest generation what a nice thing to call us and we forgot what we had done we forgot that we had been animals for

a while war is about one thing i mean it's about killing you either learn to kill somebody else or you get killed or wounded yourself and that's why i've become to so load the idea of war i think that's all a powerful force. nama sob and it's constant what may i i think of it everyday. to fire to memorise still go to counseling for. and. it's is now worth it but what i did do was managed to find some good in that war. vietnam a me a better person and made me people more. made me understand that we are all one one people.

there's a certain amount of guilt i think you learn to live with you compartmentalize it or unite you rationalize you see and i call that excuses i mean i really don't have to make excuses even. so there are things i wish i had not done. but there's no way to change. my. mind. when you come to the point that you were not sure you were actually much but there was not the way to settle. and disagreement. and kind of like the place from you can have your own war and i.

don't know military. i i. mean

.

so. i'm. just saying. this is. one of. the most.

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with much stronger or no holds barred look at the global financial headlines in two counties a report. that finally gets to news starts off in terms of passing a little being by obama to get his way into law states. that the u.s. senate finally approves this start new. with russia after months of wrangling bolton has welcomed to move as close to being the trinity. russia's best known spy from football i'm a child mundelein sorts of books with russia's young political aspirations we'll bring you all the details in just a few minutes. dulces football fans groups become infiltrated by right wing nationalist movements and prime minister putin says they need to be rooted out.

under a very warm welcome from all of us here in moscow this is the with me thanks for joining us the u.s. senate has finally approved a new starts nuclear arms reduction treaty with russia after months of bitter and divide. wrangling on capitol hill in terms of personal lobbying in recent days by president obama help sway republican opponents to get the treaty through congress the decision has been hailed by both also as a huge positive step in boosting u.s. russian relations and the furthering world nuclear disarmament damage because washington has more on the historic decision. the vote. on the. resolution or seventy one twenty six name.