thousand people cut off from the rain. but next we talk to war veterans who tell us what it's like to be a good soldier stay with us for the second part of our special report. there was one particular incident that still disturbs me today i wish i could take that day back i give anything we went into an area near the baghdad stadium this key came into our area and actually stopped about seventy five meters or front of my vehicle that tells you how far the vehicle came into our perimeter and. which is we lit it up. we had three of the. victims in the right key that there were expiring rapidly we pulled them out of the

car and we started doing it for a state i called a corpsman the corpsman came and got the three bodies and took them back to the patel you and surgeon. corpsman came back dump the bodies on the side of the road and went over to the corpsman. what do you all do and how can you bring him back you need to get him out of your you need to get him back to an area where they can see a surgeon corpsman there's nothing we can do for him so we're going to leave you know you can leave the bodies on the side of the road and i said yeah we want to do staff. so i want to have a compatible up so

they dumped him on the side of the road and. move the guys brother you come running over to him and he's just so they're holding them while they roll around on the on the asphalt on a highway. and rolling around in pain they didn't even give many morphine. the guy's brother. he kept running around and he had his hands and it was in his and his face. and he was crying and sobbing and he's saying why did you kill my brother. we didn't do anything to you we're not terrorists. now remember i remember i just want to i wanted to close my years i didn't want to hear just sat there and he's time that he said it. it was like it was

permanently being. burned into my brain. and. i lost that's the last i've ever gotten a good night's sleep the night before that. the. only. thing the room the. next morning lieutenant you walked up to me and he said sas are. you are you all right you seem a little distressed a little agitated. no sir i was not all right. and.

saddam i'm pretty pissed off what we're what we're doing over here. he said it will give me your interpretation of what we're doing over here. and. for what we're trying to accomplish over here. i just looked at him and said it well said honestly feel that we're committing genocide and. he didn't like my answer and he stormed off towards the. ceo's vehicle. and i knew at that point that my career was done i crossed the line and i knew i had to watch my back and grow eyes. so after that night i pretty much slept with my no i millimeter underneath my poncho liner within easy reach.

bay in the dark the dark days. when i first came back from vietnam in one thousand six to six i saw protesters out speaking. i don't want to hear it i did believe it to get away from it i put in a ten forty nine to go back to vietnam because i was what atar and we'll wired up and i don't think it would have taken a much for me to take one of the protesters out failed had asked stayed here i would have ended up killing some people and i could do it legally in vietnam so i put in a ten forty nine to go back and i think i will look and i gess the full cation of doing what i'll be doing of killing. it was all

a deal on my second tour when i began to realize that something was wrong when i came back to the states i want to washington d.c. to the white house or i talk to us all the way to next and just say that i would not go back to vietnam. when i arrived back stateside i was ordered to report into the mental health clinic in twenty nine palms the. psychologist looked at me and she said. why don't deal with conscientious objectors. and. just about last. for them to label me as a conscientious objector that's the ultimate slap in the face you're called be a conscience objector i just killed thirty plus individuals for you and you calling

me a conscience no. i stood up and i was a ma'am if you want to label me as a conscientious objector for not wanting to kill innocent civilians then i'll see you court. i went down and hired an attorney. a man by the name of mr gary myers. and. mr mars was represented during the may lie trials. and. mr myers in the marine corps came to a. very discreet mutual understanding i was on or billy discharged december thirty first of two thousand and three and here i am.

when i came back i think that that sense of a long term planning was gone. i went through a divorce some things i did reckless way probably in the back of my mind i would not have minded dying homo. but my. i went through a period when t.c.t. cocaine are on. and about it and said i'm ange. long period of severe drug abuse. i finally got to the point of rock had no warning and. i had no more car i had long since moved out of my house and could not come back home exactly where do you go from here.

and it was when the national guard needed someone in my eye my experience and teaching people how to fly the armed helicopters the cobras and i was asked to come in and help train some of those folks and the money was. you know fifteen twenty thousand dollars a year for part time work and it carried a retirement with even though i had and a change of heart about wars i needed the money you first come home and you meet lee forget about everything. and you go to mcdonald's you go to all your favorite restaurants and you do all your favorite things and you're having a great time and you know and then all of a sudden you wake up one day and you're like wait a minute i'm not having a good time anymore. starting with think about this i'm sorry think about that

because all the newness has worn off your home alive i got my arm i got my legs i'm alive. but then the mind. the mind starts catching up. with everything else. i found myself going through my gear prepping like i'm getting ready to go to combat. i mean i even look for suicide bombers you know anything out of the anything out of the ordinary. once you reach that level of your senses being that heightened it's hard to turn it off it's like being in a cage tiger. and soon after. i got back in december of forty four there is

nobody you can talk to you know there was nobody who had been in combat around. i can remember still seeing that. red glow on the tip of a christ. and my god i was home. one day you're killing somebody they're trying to kill you and the next day you're sitting in a bar in new york city it's it's crazy. i took so normal nobody you know is it your hand at work nobody you know if you got a you got a headache or you got a hole in your head you can't see. when i wrote home that i was wounded i had been in france from middle of august to i was a good dad said to the newspaper reporter who interviewed him he was only there for

a few days that was to me the only was a at that time not now was a real rejection of who i was as a man he didn't last he didn't make it he got hit. and i think i didn't even understand it then but that started a defining our relationship which spiraled downward downward downward. so you don't talk about it or do you sit on it. and see i was lucky why didn't kill why didn't i both somebody you know guys do that or why did no prometheus why didn't i do this. i was trying i got on a stool and. i remember i was living in the wide new york city

totally alone i don't just to put my bathroom sash iraq hung it sort of share. and why i got down was because. my friends. i had made after the war who had been through the same thing i had and i felt if i did that to myself i would betray. the bond we had. coochie vietnam federer for tain't nineteen sixty six by eighty they

call it hell's high afaik or because of the american bull. that had been spilled there tano do well in viet cong snipers have done most of the damage today was no exception. on this day and on the twenty seventh and for tree the framed wolfhounds moved out to attack the snipers open up from such perfectly camouflaged positions the most of the a complicated want the whole day without seeing one of the enemy a sergeant was hit in the shoulder and leg as he rolled over a third shot ripped to his by. a medic broke from call of and rushed to his as he dropped to his knees to begin given a bullet smashed into the stomach. both the sergeant and the medic.

and artillery watch was laid down to screen a squad gone after the wall and it especially was full of it won't it in the help cross the deadly fifty yards with all the fallen to us he was hit again and this was an old you were there yes it's hard to bring back to minimum. no no. no no no no stress no certainly we're building up to go into iraq i thought think obama grandson. they were of age where. if they had to draft they would be drafted so i start thinking of what i could do to protect them to keep them from

a boy and. join the military but the same reasons that the young people join now because it is the poor people out of people on the lower end of the economic scale all that want to fight these wars. even though more our modern america came out years later and say it vietnam was a mistake it did not take the brain from me. nor did it take the guilt that i carry for killing people when i went to vietnam i was a car courts rule and i believe what i was going there once the right thing and i was a good soldier but now i'm a soldier on the other side and i think i'm just as good.

i sold my soul a long time ago i'm just here trying to. maybe you know for all that i do for. people as we want you free to go to prison i mean you're saying you're a war criminal brother i'm already in prison this is veterans for peace chapter zero nine nine western north carolina hoping that this moment registers in everyone's mind that this is one of the total cost of war. true test who's a great war poet of world war one wrote of mine war was

a fiend who stopped our clocks though we met him grim and gay and i know people who got their clocks stopped so badly they never got beyond it drugs booze women suicide whatever you want to call it and that happened to me and i think my clock was stopped for close to forty years before i got over that. i was ashamed. i was ashamed that i had been wounded i was ashamed that i hadn't been a hero. i never understood that my problems with my parents my problems with my wife my ex-wife were buried in the fact that i had gotten blown up i never i never understood it repressed it totally and then i began to go to a coffee shop and i would hear the big bands of night two hundred forty five and i

would weep like a baby in public i had no idea that what i was doing i could reply to was going back and trying to find that the little boy of night he and what happened. the fall of eighty four i was driven to go back to fly to look some birds to spend the night there to rent a car and file and find the place where i was wounded on september seventh one hundred forty four. and then suddenly. i found the bridge with the reed cross that had been blown when i'd been shot. i discovered to the hour at the moment where i had been wounded forty years before and i cannot explain it but that discovery began my healing.

my generation really repressed with the war was about we didn't want to talk about it we weren't allowed to talk about it and then slowly in the one nine hundred eighty s. and one nine hundred ninety s. this whole thing of the greatest generation occurred it was wonderful you know the greatest generation what a nice thing to call us and we forgot what we had done we forgot that we had been animals for a while. war is about one thing it's about killing you either learn to kill somebody else or you get killed or wounded yourself and that's why i have become to solo the idea of war. or. vietnam as often as cost on what may. think of it every day. to fire back from it to memorise still go to counseling for. and.

it's it's now worth it but what i did do was madness to find some good in that war . vietnam a me a better person and may mean people more. made me understand that we are all one one people it's. there's a certain amount of guilt i think you learn to live with you compartmentalize it or unite you rationalize you seem like all the excuses i mean i really don't have to make excuses even. so there are things i wish i had not done. but there's no way to change. laughs.

and. when you come to the point that you're not sure you're actually much but there's more snow on the way to saturday and disagreement. and kind of like the poster you can have your and i. loathe luxury. i.

laugh.

so. i'm not. saying.

this in the. least but want to. get. culture is that so much of the muslim community made a lot of people a lot of bloodless consumption western lifestyles are being adopted globally but with the advent of the global recession all those who were once rich.

if you move. from phones to. stocks on t.v. dot com. and now the top stories of this week the u.s. senate approves a key nuclear arms reduction deal with russia the start treaty is hailed as a major achievement by the leaders of both countries but it still has to be passed by the russian parliament. the korean peninsula reaches a crisis point souls war games provoke pyongyang and threats of retaliation and a nuclear strike. aviation experts back the findings of a russian investigation into the plane crash that killed ninety six people

including the president of poland many of the country's politicians warsaw earlier rejected the findings that said pilot error was to blame. and right now power is it being restored at moscow's biggest airport after a day of flight cancellations and delays caused by severe weather and. the domestic flights up and running and. a huge number of people still being affected. broadcasting live from our studios in the heart of moscow where it is four o'clock on a monday morning. on wednesday the u.s. finally finally approved a landmark a strategic arms reduction treaty with moscow.