i would print certainly the splined in touch with the who tell me touch of the fictional google how would international flood to change every green laurel for chill in tulsa. welcome back to r t we're doing the weekly program here running down the week's top stories and former general ruck oblige denies charges of genocide in front of the hague tribunal claiming he was just defending his people meanwhile the soviet finds that handing him over has done little to speed up the e.u. membership or perhaps hopeful. nato has extended its military campaign in libya and deployed attack helicopters there for the first time this is a spark concerns that the alliance is preparing a ground operation in the country. plus the spread of a deadly e.

coli outbreak in europe and the spread of hysteria that's claimed at least nineteen lives mostly in germany and crippled european food markets false accusations that spain was the original source of the contamination have hit its fruit and vegetable exports and piled further pressure on the struggling economy. and the man suspected of shooting dead the journalist anna politkovskaya is officially charged investigators claim they have enough evidence to prove the chechen fugitive pulled the trigger. my colleague bill dog will be here in half an hour's time but for now stay tuned for our documentary three generations of american soldiers and their moving stories of how they were led to the military and how it changed their lives for good part two of that documentary as well right now are not say. there was one particular incident that still disturbs me today i wish i could take

that day back if i give anything we went into an area near the baghdad stadium and came into our area and actually stopped about seventy five meters in front of my vehicle that tells you how far the vehicle came into our programming. and. which is we lit it up. we had three of the. victims in the raid kiya that there were expiring rapidly and we pulled them out of the car and we started doing it for state i called a corpsman the corpsman came and got the three bodies and took them back to the patel you and surgeon. corpsman came back dump the bodies on the side of the road and i went over to the corpsman and i asked him i said what

were you doing how can you bring him back and me to get him out of here you need to get him back to an area where they can see a surgeon and corpsman there's nothing we can do for him so you can leave you know you can leave the bodies on the side of the road and i said yeah we want to do staff sergeant so i want to pass them up so they don't come on the side of the road and. you know and the guys brother you come running over to him and he's just so they're holding them while they roll around on the. asphalt

on a highway. rolling around in pain they didn't even give many morphine. the guy's brother he kept he kept running around and he had his hands and it was in his and his face . and he's just crying and sobbing and he's saying why did you kill my brother. we didn't do anything to you we're not terrorists. now remember i remember i just want to i wanted to close my years i didn't want to hear and i just sat there and he's time that he said. it was like it was permanently being. burned into my brain. and. i lost

that's the last night or gotten a good night's sleep the night before that. i think you know the. next morning lieutenant you walked into the main he said sasser. are you all right you seem a little distressed a little agitated. no i was not all right. i'm pretty pissed off what we're what we're doing over here. he said well give me your interpretation of what we're doing over here. and. for what we're trying to

accomplish over here. i just looked at him and said it well it's an aussie feel that we're committing genocide. and he didn't like my answer and he stormed off towards the. ceo's vehicle. so i knew at that point that my career was done i crossed the line and i knew i had to watch my back girl eyes so after that night i pretty much slept with my no i millimeter underneath my poncho liner within easy reach. me in the door the door to us. when i first came back from vietnam and i came six to six i saw protesters speak in

. the want to hear it i did believe it and get away from it i put in a ten forty nine a call back to vietnam because i was what lights are and we'll wired. and i don't think it would have taken much for me to take one of the protesters out failed had asked stayed here i would have ended up killing some people that i could do it legally in vietnam so i put in a ten forty nine nickel back i think i was looking at justification doing what i would do one of killing. it was all i do on my second tour when i began to realize that something was wrong. when i came back to the states i went to washington d.c. to the white house or a talk this on a mix and just say that i would not go back if we had not.

when i arrived back stateside i was ordered to report into the middle health clinic at twenty nine palms the. psychologist looked at me and she said well i don't deal with conscientious objectors. just about lost. for then to label me as a conscientious objector that's the ultimate slap in the face you call your conscience objector i just killed thirty plus individuals for you and you called me a conscience. stood up and i said. ma'am if you want to label me as a conscientious objector for not wanting to kill innocent civilians then i'll see you court. i went down

a hard attorney. a man by the name of mr gary myers. and. mr mars was represented during the may lie trials and. mr myers in the marine corps came to a very discreet mutual understanding i was on it with this charge december thirty first of two thousand and three and here i am. so i came back i think that that sense of long term planning was gone i went through the horse some things i did recklessly probably in the back of my mind i would not have minded dying. but.

i went through a period when the same thing could hang on. and about it and that means. a long period of severe drug abuse. i finally got to the point to ride i had no warning. i had no more car i had long since moved out of my house and could not come back home exactly where to go from here. and it was when the national guard needed someone with. my experience in teaching people how to fly the armed helicopters the cobras and i was asked to come in and help train some of those folks and the money was. you know

fifteen twenty thousand dollars a year for part time work and i carried a retirement would even though i had and a change of heart about wars i needed them on a first come home and you need only forget about everything. and you go to mcdonald's you go to all your favorite restaurants and you do all your favorite things and you're having a great time and you know and then all of sudden you wake up one day and you're like wait a minute i'm not having a good time anymore. i'm starting to think about this i'm starting to think about that because all the newness has worn off your whole a lot i got my arm i got my legs i'm alive. but then the mind and the mind starts catching up. with everything else.

i find myself going through my gear prepping like i'm getting ready to go to combat i mean i even look for suicide bombers you know anything out of the anything out of the ordinary. once you reach that level of of your senses being that high it's hard to turn it off it's like being in a cage tiger. and soon after. i got back in december of forty four there was nobody you can follow because we know there was nobody who had been in combat around. i can remember still seeing that glow red glow on the top of the christ. and my god i was home wasn't good.

one day you're killing somebody they're trying to kill you and the next day you're sitting in a bar in new york city that's it's crazy. i don't nobody you know it's not your hand at work nobody you know we should go to you got a headache and you got a hole in your head you can't see. when i wrote home that i was wounded i had been in france from middle of august to live with it dad said to the newspaper reporter who interviewed him he was only there for a few years that was for me the only was a at that time not now was a real rejection of who i was as a man he didn't. i didn't make it he got it.

and i think i didn't even understand it then but that started a decline in our relationship which spiraled downward downward downward. so you don't talk about it. and say i was lucky why didn't i kill why didn't i bow somebody you know guys do that or why did no poor me why didn't i do this. i was tried i got out of school and. i remember i was living in the y. in new york city totally alone i don't stew put my bathroom sash around on it. and why i got. was because.

my friends. i had made after the war who had been through the same thing i had and i felt if i get that to myself i would betray. the bond we had. coochie a vietnam vet writer for taint night in sixty six my e.p. they call it hell's halfacre because of the american blood. that had been spill there on it well and viet cong snipers have done most of the damage today was no exception on the second battalion twenty seventh and factually it

framed well founds moved out to exact the snipers over not from such perfectly camouflaged positions but most of the a copy not the whole day with a c. and not of the enemy a sergeant was hit in the shoulder and leg as a vault over at the. rep to its back. a medic broke for the call of and rushed to his it as he dropped to his knees to be gay and given a bullet smashed through the stomach. of the sergeant in the medic guy and out till a bump was laid out to screen a squad go out after the wall that a specialist for what he wanted and help cross the deadly fifty yards without a fight on t.v.'s he was head again this was no.

you're there yes it's howard it. and bring him back to him and. well down all. this bill no pressure certainly we're building up to go until right now so i think obama grandson. they were probably aware if they had to craft they would be traffic tickets so i start thinking of what i could do to protect them to keep them from growing. join the military but the same reasons that the young people join now because it is the poor people out of people on the lower end of the economic scale but i want to fight these wars. even though more out of my gma marriage came

out years later and say it vietnam was a mistake it did not take the pain from me nor did it take the guilt that i ferry for killing people what i wanted to be i know i was a car courts rule and i believed what i was going there was the right thing and i was a good soldier but now i'm a soldier on the other side and i think i'm just as good. as sold my soul a long time i'm just here trying to go. to europe or are more. people ask me why aren't you afraid to go to prison i mean

so you're saying you're a war criminal. brother i'm already in prison this is veterans for peace chapter zero nine nine western north carolina hoping that this moment registers in everyone's mind that this is one of the total costs of war. siegfried sassoon who is a great war political a one world of mine war was a scene can stop their clocks though we met him grim and gay and i know people who got their clocks stopped so badly they never got beyond drugs booze women suicide whatever you want to caught and that happened to me and i think

my clock was stopped for close to forty years before i got over it. i was ashamed i was ashamed and i had been wounded i was ashamed that i hadn't been a hero i never understood that my problems with my parents my problems with my wife and my ex-wife were buried in the fact that i got blown up i never i never understood it repressed it totally and then. back again to go to a coffee shop and i would hear the big bands of my two hundred forty five and i would weep like a baby probably i had no idea that what i was doing i could reply to was going back to try to fly that little boy all night and what happened.

the fall of eighty four i was driven to go back to fly to look for birds to spend the night there to rent a car and file and find the place where i was moving on september seventh making forty four. and then suddenly. i found the bridge with a real cross that had been blown when i'd been shot. i discovered to the hour at the morgue where i had been wounded forty years before and i cannot explain it but that discovery began my healing. my generation really were pressed with the war was about we didn't want to talk about it we weren't allowed to talk about it and then slowly in the one nine hundred eighty s. and one nine hundred ninety s. this whole thing of the greatest generation occurred it was wonderful you know the

greatest generation what a nice thing to call us and we forgot what we had done we forgot that we had been animals for a lot more is about one thing it's about killing you either learn to kill somebody else or you get killed or wounded yourself and that's why i've come to so loaded the idea of war so i think that's of horrible. mommas other than its cost and what may i think of it everyday. to fire sparks from the to memorise still go to counseling for. and. it's is now worth it but what i did do was madness to find some good in that war. thing vietnam made me a better person and made me love people more. made me understand that

we are all one one people throughout this earth this is sort of out of guilt i think you learn to live with compartmentalize it or unite you rationalize you seem like all those cases i mean i really don't have to make excuses even though. there are things i wish i had not done. but there's no way to change social. class. when you come to the point that you're not sure you're actually much more is not

the way to sad. and disagreement. and kind of like a place for you to lead your life. to. los angeles. with good luck.

he's. not. just saying. this thing that. we're going to. get.

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