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earth covered. download the official policy of acacia giong phone called touch from the choose our. life. video on demand copies mine comes and says features now in the palm of your. pushing on the dot com. more news today violence is once again flared up. these are the images and seeing from the streets of canada. operations are the day.

purchase of abuse to me. i can sum it up in one word this air. and i just prayed that if you couldn't find me if i could just live through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that what was going to happen was that he was going to kill me. i love this guy in a promise to be his wife into honor and respect and cherish him this is what he did to me. or my son. is that significance to this day. it's really important that i ask

her are you being heard are you afraid to go back home if we don't as we want to find out. she have a bag packed that was in a van dam share mother bag pack that was in her car our assumption is she told him that he was that she was living. in the portrait of abuse is that it's extremely frightening extremely dark even if it's simply that as a community we can provide that ran from. just one of the lesser qualified hold that ball the parents reporters cover stories

every day of domestic violence in america they shine the spotlight on famous men arrested for murder or assault of a girlfriend or wife the daily headlines reveal secrets of private people victims and abusers hidden from view until police investigate. many stories fail to name the chronicle as domestic violence or put the crisis in context. at least four million women are affected by abuse every year it is a public health at that image. and we must do more to save women's lives. if you think that of four women you know. and realize that one out of every four women is being abused it's appalling domestic violence can affect people from any age range any social economic background any racial or

cultural background we've seen women from asian countries who married american man and moved to this country and then were abused we've seen people from some of the middle eastern countries who are abused as part of their culture so it can hit anybody she can just be anyone it can hear dr swan's policeman's wiles ministers' wives many victims don't understand that domestic violence includes verbal abuse psychological abuse physical abuse and sexual abuse. it's real it's invisible satish sticks or are not offering here they are telling us what's going on.

i was told that i would be an artist my father and i would go for sunday drives that he would ask and we're going to do grandpa such no i'm going to be an artist when i met the man i fell in love with him i'll psych ok and i think i'll give love a try it was twenty five. well grew the military. only for two years dated for one year you may live a first it was. well we got married i got pregnant oh many will die and i was pregnant i was excited we're both very excited well i am. losing my baby and it's a look pregnant say so i came whole meal after recovery and you know for recovery after my surgery my husband picked me up and he threw me. and i don't even know what set him off wireless card can only pick me up and threw me across the road and owsley else that goes like oh my god my stitches are going to rip what am i going

to do it's like his soul was just empty as start to get physical with the choking. this week lifted it up just thinking about it in albert sequence and my life just just flashing in my head you know i might have had to make of it in my way you know what's happening to me so the point i couldn't brady ever get us prayer. was just something with it myself just made me just want to fight you know continue to live . which is have to. fire him for the night that i made the decision to leave from that moment to the next morning i was in a war zone. first he beat me and how i was i found just held me down on the floor put his knees on my shoulders. and burned my neck with a cigarette burn my arm with a cigarette. kicked me in the left ear until i was unconscious.

and stripped me in my clothes and threw me in the back yard and i was twenty seven degrees below zero with the windchill that night we were in wisconsin and it was january so i ran to the garage and i knew i had to hide so i found a tarp and i wrap myself in it and i hid in a corner behind something and i heard him come in and he had a stick and i heard him poking around in the crotch. and i just prayed that. if you didn't find me if i could just live through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that what was going to happen was that he was going to kill me because he told me so many times and that night he promised me that he kill me and that he those kids would never see their mother my youngest son was at home at the time and he was. upstairs he heard his father yelling and.

he came down and his father just continued to attack me and he threw me to the ground in the hallway and then while i was down and i was trying to cover myself up he started kicking me. and my son the look on my son's face was the scariest thing there were similar because you know we can start this down. i can remember pleading for my life as the mother of his children please don't hurt me i'm the mother of your children they need me when i pick myself off before i realized that not only was a queen for my children's life but i was playing for my own and i couldn't be a mother. i wasn't existing and that was the lightbulb moment for me honest this has to change and change. a lot of people are not aware that within domestic violence many women are raped.

sexual abuse is probably the least talked about for the first eighteen years of my life i was told or had a sense of i was a row i was nothing i meant nothing i was not loved so the first guy that walks by and says i love you that was it that wow somebody loves me and now it was all i needed and i was so blinded by that that i couldn't see all the other little what signs that were there and then as we got into marriage and i had a child all of a sudden you know it happens things change when you get pregnant you have a child well i breastfed and the first thing you know i was like oh those are my breasts not my son's and i'm like i'm breastfeeding him so he lives and he was threatened and felt jealous. no one gives you necessarily the rules i mean of when you get married this is the rules of being a wife and a lot of times and even now

a a mindset is when you say i do oh well you supposed to perform sexual acts in bed and but as with consent and that's where the difference really lies is that. i wasn't consenting i mean i would say now and i would say now and i would say now and it didn't matter. where we would call it a dead fish and can imagine being married to somebody in her bedroom church showing him that ok i'm going to lay here like a dead smelly fish and you can just hope your self enters when i get. how every other night for years. and that was where. i let this guy in me promise to be his wife into order and respect and cherish and this is what he did to me. that you can't go talk to somebody about

this this will turn around and say will you marry him here chose him. so where do you go what do you do you. go inside and i'll step. down because that's what i learned today growing up. young lady less than twenty years of age married came in the office pregnant and i followed her through her pregnancy and i noticed towards the end her probably in the last trimester of her pregnancy she frequently would come in with bruises and maybe bruises or adam and she came in one day with them with a black eye and her husband was all ways right there and i would ask her if she wanted to talk about anything what's going on and she always had a reason why she was and these bruises. and i guess i believe her that in pressure . about three to four weeks prior to her delivery baby she came into the emergency

room and she was in shock from blood loss. the baby was dead and she had huge injury to her admin probably from the boots i think probably he had been kicking her. baby. and she died. and that taught me a very significant lesson had i had the opportunity to have spoken to her privately . we had a very good relationship i think she would have told me if there was a problem. and after that i'd ask every person i saw everything was are you happy and i learned how to screen for. i think that they're still in american society the view that what it kurz behind closed doors remains behind closed doors and what happens between two intimates

a husband or wife or a boyfriend or girlfriend really is their business the media generally reflects to some extent what is going on in society and it very much comes from this patriarchal idea of the man as ruler and then in order to take control of his possessions which included house property cattle children and females spare the rod spoil the child that also translated to women as well so essentially what happens with a woman is she goes from being under the rule of her father that is then transferred to her husband and i think this is often why people find this somewhat humorous but it's really not humorous. when the talkback women gossiped a lot of women that just were not under very good control it was deemed necessary to use force to get that not me. don't tell me you're starry. sir there's only one way

beating kicking those types of things that plays into the idea that women essentially that are being abused somehow are deserving of that abuse they have brought it up on their hand picking their husbands there's the possibility of adultery they don't know when to shut up they push them too far and so essentially they're asking for it and this plays into how in the criminal justice system we treat women who are abused which traditionally has not been very well and so there's a general kind of perception in the hierarchy of power structure of the females are still under males and that the man knows best and if the man is resorting to violence somehow it's because either it's necessary and or she brought it on herself so we see this in that scene on the titanic where he tells her you will not embarrass me you are going to be my wife and you will abide by my rules.

practice if not yet by law so you will be. time he learned what comes first marriage or job and up with. issues and think he can't even find kind of want to form around work or using your brain something out of himself his wife doesn't look up to him. she can. make like a i was getting old boy oh sure who is boss his home is his cash so he is the boss there and he rules. and he rules badly.

and you have somebody that is not very empowered to do much except try to survive try to make nice try to walk on eggshells try not to make him mad again and he always tells her it's your fault you made no enki because you did this or you didn't do that if you get that kind of information just thrown at you especially if this is not the first time and battered but before you got into this relationship you may have had another and another relationship and certainly may have gotten back to what it looked like in your family of origin if mom did not leave her battery husband your father the chances of you getting away are less the battered wife. that doesn't leave. is expressing one of the sad symptoms of being battered is that you become unarmed

and you really have a sense of hopelessness except to try to knock. trigger their rage of the batter. who has often out of his insecurity made real threats that are quite believable. most batteries tend to minimize things that sons tend to think well it was a one time thing or she made me angry i didn't hit her that hard i you know i didn't mean to do that i also provide counseling to the women i've heard on several occasions when i hear that door closed i shiver and that's sad so magine in your own hall means scared by hearing the door calls and it's not

a stranger coming in the door it's their partners or spells. my name is richard i'm thirty five i've been married for almost three years now. and we have three children together now so i have two stepchildren so told five we grew up pretty similar you know not a lot of fighting a lot of drugs a hole so we definitely share common bond that we can to help each other see what avenues we don't need to go to i tried to avoid the conflict saying how it made him happy times when growing up as a kid my parents divorced when i was five my mom got relationship my dad got a relationship. violence there physical and verbal it's not a choice i want my life alone my wife to be my life to the day we leave this earth

remember him and i am member being handcuffed. for most embarrassing moments in my life. violence not is not only physical you know it's verbal emotional i got arrested spent fourteen hours in jail never been in trouble with the law. and you know it's just a new experienced said that i didn't know. what my relationship status was today at least my family and i was the biggest thing to me. what happens to my family it's what my life is about now as my family and i have enough. this violence is a way of obtaining power and control and this violence is usually accompanied by jealousy also a fear of losing power and control it is accompanied by verbal abuse and

putdowns again as a way to obtain power and control as you can see it's a perfectly ordinary house and he really just wrecked their house about twenty minutes in the courtroom this this is their at the master bedroom and he went right above the bed i mean you can see whore baby killer and everything else where they divorced at the time they were really separated the time she just asked him to move out he got really jealous he came in the room said you're not sleeping when you're sleeping with somebody else put the hand down sort of going to the ground put a gun into the mouth the twenty seven year old were in the room screaming don't kill mommy don't kill mommy and the only reason he stopped or five minutes of that was because the kids are getting hysterical and he made the mother leave the house but i've been moved out for a while and she has injuries you know about that on her knees when he had her on the ground she was down knees i mean he had to go an execution style right in front of children in the mouth. strangulation relational is exactly where the mark went and yet again and come out in front of that in

a circle. if she leaves that is not necessarily going to make the violence go away many times leaving will cause an increase in the violence because again why do we have the violence it's power and control if hit the victim leaves now that is a slap in the face to power and control. we have three children our middle child i was an attorney she was a very brilliant girl tremendous sense. are varied and there are three and a very kind caring person he was a placement they were married close of three years her friends tell me that he dragged her around by her hair so any bruises on her head you know would not be visible and a body bruise would not it was one morning about five thirty six thirty in the

morning got a phone call and we were in said bonnie is no longer with us and we thought. a lot there's been a car accident he said there's there's some sort of problem here bonnie shot herself as far as we now she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom she had another bag packed that was in her car our assumption is she told him that she was leaving him and he shot her and then wiped the fingerprints off the gun obviously bonnie did not chips. in camera and called my mom one said that his wife each other stuff is voices in the back or. she was not. and she was calling for one to help and as far as losing a child that's devastating but to even more stuff was to say my parents.

lose a granddaughter. that. i watched from both the. air that he had been arrested it was subsequently released. and it was not charged with murder d.a. said they didn't have enough evidence to indict him a judge said it's in my court. settled again and. when we first found out about the fact that she was abused and had been abused for three years we were stamped because domestic violence doesn't happen to people like us people or college educations and this happens to poor people. this doesn't happen to two attorneys to doctors wives this type of thing kirk her

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