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tv   [untitled]    August 15, 2011 7:30pm-8:00pm EDT

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dr mara. bringing you the latest in science to the answer from the list. of those you share covered. plenty. plenty. plenty plenty. plenty plenty. plenty.
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plenty. plenty. more news today violence is once again fled the flood in these are the images the world has been seeing from the streets of canada live for asians are. led.
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forgit of abuse to me. i can sum it up in one word the stare. and i just prayed that if you didn't find me if i could just live through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that it was going to happen was that he was going to kill me.
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if i let this guy in i promise to be his wife into order and respect and cherish you know this is what he did to me. the look on my son this. is the significance talk to stay cool for me. it's really important to ask her are you being heard are you afraid to go back home if we don't as we won't find them. she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom sharing their backpack that was in her car our assumption that she told him that he was that she was living. the portrait of abuse
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is that is extremely frightening extremely dark even if it's simply that as a community we can provide that ran home. just one piece of the method while a flawed both involving parents reporters cover stories every day of domestic violence in america they shine a spotlight on famous men arrested for murder or assault of a girlfriend or wife the daily headlines reveal secrets of private people victims and abusers hidden from view until police investigate. many stories fail to name the crime as domestic violence or put the crisis in context. at least four
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million women are affected by abuse every year it is a public health of the demick and we must do more to save women's lives. if you think that a for women you know. and realize that one out of every four women is being abused it's a part like domestic violence can affect people from any h. arrange any social economic background any racial or cultural background we've seen women from asian countries who married american man moved to this country and then were abused we've seen people from some of the middle eastern countries who are abused as part of their culture so it can hit anybody can just eat any more it can hit dr slimes policeman's wives ministers wives many victims don't
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understand that domestic violence includes verbal abuse psychological abuse physical abuse and sexual abuse. it's real it's visible by all the statistics or part are not lying here they are telling us what's going on. i was told that i want to be an artist my father and i would go for a sunday drive said he would ask what it would have been robust such no i want to be an artist when i met this man i fell in love with him i was like ok and i think i'll give love a try it was twenty five. dream it well for the military. me for two years j.d. for one year that we live
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a first if it was. well we got married i got pregnant amanda. and i was pregnant i was excited we're both very excited well i ended up losing my baby and it took a pregnancy so i came whole until after recovery and you know for recovery after my surgery my husband picked me up and he threw me. and i don't even know what set him off wireless card for him but he picked me up and threw me across the room and out of the l's that yells like oh my god my stitches are going to rip what am i going to do it's like his soul was just empty as start to get physical with the choking. this reliving that just thinking about it you know with sequence and my like just flashing in my head you know am i gonna die like i made my way you know what's happening to me and i couldn't breathe when casper air. was just something with it myself just made me just want to fight you know continue to live. trenches have to
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. fire remember the night that i made the decision to leave from that moment to the next morning i was in a war zone. first he ate me until i was unconscious held me down on the floor put his knees on my shoulders. and burned my marriage with a cigarette burn my arm with a cigarette. kicked me in the left ear until i was unconscious. and stripped me in my clothes and threw me in the backyard and i was twenty seven degrees below zero with the windchill that we were in wisconsin and it was january so i ran to the garage and i knew i had to hide so i found a tarp and i read myself in it and i hid in a corner behind something and i heard him come in and he had
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a stick and i heard him poking around in the garage. and i just prayed that. if you didn't find me if i could sleep through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that it was going to happen was that he was going to kill me because he told me so many times and that night he he promised me that he kill me and that he those kids would never see their mother my oldest son was at home at the time and he was. upstairs but he heard his father yelling and. he came down and his father just continued to attack me and he threw me to the ground in the hallway and then while i was down i was trying to cry softly started kicking me. and my son the look on my son's face was the scariest thing or similar because you know we can start this down could help me i can remember pleading for my life as the mother of his children please don't hurt me on the other get
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children they need me when i pick my stuff off before i realized that not only was i clean for my children but i was playing for my own and i couldn't be a mother. i wasn't existing and that was the lightbulb moment for me and i asked if asked to change and only i can change. a lot of people are not aware that within domestic violence many women are raped. sexual abuse is probably the least talked about for the first eighteen years of my life i was told or have a sense of i was a row i was nothing i meant nothing i was not loved so the first guy that walks by and says i love you that was it that wow somebody loves me and now it was all i needed and i was so blinded by that that i couldn't see all the other little signs
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that were there and then as we got into marriage and i had a child all of a sudden you know it happens things change when you get pregnant you have a child well i breast fed and the first thing you know was like oh those are my breasts not my son's and i'm like i'm breastfeeding him so he lives and he was threatened and felt jealous. no one gives you necessarily the rules i mean of when you get married this is the rules of being a wife in a lot of times and even now the a mindset is when you say i do oh well you supposed to perform sexual acts and bad and that as with consent and that's where the difference really lies is that. i wasn't consenting i mean i would say now and i would say no and i would say now and it didn't matter. to where we would call it a dead fish and can you imagine being married to somebody. in your bedroom your
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telling him that ok i'm going to lay here like they're dead smelly fish and you can just help her self enhance what i did. how we are going to night for two years. and that was what she was. i love this guy and we promised to be his wife into honor and respect insurance you know this is what he did to me. but you can't go talk to somebody about this because they'll turn around and say when you married here you chose you know and so where do you go what do you do you can so i kept my mouth shut. because that's what i learned today growing up. young lady in less than twenty years of age married came in the office pregnant and
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i followed her through her pregnancy and i noticed towards the end her probably in the last trimester of her pregnancy she frequently would come in with bruises and any bruises or evelyn she came in one day with with a black eye and her husband was all ways right there and i would ask her if you want to talk about anything what's going on and she always had a reason why she was had these bruises. and i guess i believed her that impressed her. about three to four weeks prior to her to every day and she came into the emergency room and she was in shock from blood loss. the baby was dead and she had huge injury to her abdomen probably from boots i think probably he had been kicking her. baby. and she did. and that taught me a very significant lesson had i had the opportunity to have spoken to her privately
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. we had a very good relationship i think she would have told me if there was a problem. and after that i'd ask every person i saw everything was with are you happy and i learned how to screen for it. i think that they're still in american society the view that what it kurz behind closed doors remains behind closed doors and what happens between two intimates a husband or wife or a boyfriend or girlfriend really is their business the media generally reflects to some extent what is going on in society and it very much comes from this patriarchal idea of man as ruler and then in order to take control of his possessions which included house property cattle children and females spare the rod spoil the child that also translated to women as well so essentially what
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happens with a woman is she goes from being under the rule of her father that is then transferred to her husband and i think this is often why people find this somewhat humorous but it's really not humorous. when the talkback limon that costs up to a lot of women that just were not under very could control it was deemed necessary to use force to go about not. don't tell me your story. sir there's only one way to beating taking those types of things that plays into the idea that women essential a that are being abused somehow are deserving of that abuse they have brought it on their hand picking their husbands there's the possibility of adultery they don't know when to shut up they push them too far and so essentially they're asking for
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it in this plays into how in the criminal justice system we treat women who are abused which traditionally has not been very well and so there is a general kind of perception in the hierarchy of power structure of the females are still under males and that the man knows best and if the man is resorting to violence somehow it's because either it's necessary and or should brought it on herself so we see this in that scene in titanic where he tells her you will not embarrass me you are going to be my wife and you will abide by my rules for free. practice if not you know by law so you will.
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time she learned what comes. marriage or her job and i. don't. think she can even find kind of want to for me and work or eating your brains to make something out of himself his wife doesn't look up to. me like a fool i was getting a wife oh sure who it was his home is his castle he is the boss there and he rules. and the rules badly. boil and you have somebody that is not very empowered to do much except try to survive try to make nice try to walk on eggshells try not to make him again and he always tells her it's your fault you made me angry because you did this or you didn't do that if you get that kind of information just thrown at you especially if this is not the first
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time and battered but before you got into this relationship you may have had another and another relationship and certainly may have gotten back to what it looked like in your family of origin if mom did not leave her battery husband your father the chances of you getting away are less the battered wife. that doesn't leave. is expressing one of the sad symptoms of being battered is you become a noun and you really have a sense of hopelessness except to try to knock. trigger the rage of the bad or. who has often out of his insecurity and made real threats that are quite believable.
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most adverse tend to minimize things that sons tend to think well it was a one time thing or she made me angry i didn't hit her that hard i you know i didn't mean to do that i also provide counseling to the women i've heard on several occasions when i hear that door closed i shiver and that's sad imagine in your own hall means scared by hearing the door close and it's not a stranger coming in the door it's their partner's ourselves. my name is richard i'm thirty five i've been married for almost three years now. and we have three children together and also have two stepchildren so total of five we grew up pretty similar you know a lot of fighting a lot of drugs alcohol so we definitely share common bond there we're trying to
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help each other see would have news we don't need to go to them i have tried to avoid the conflict saying how it made unhappy times when growing up as a kid my parents divorced when i was five when on that relationship my dad got a relationship. for violence there physical and verbal it's not a choice i want my life alone my life to be my life till the day we leave this earth for membership in the pan am member being handcuffed. to most embarrassing moments of my life. balance not is not only physical you know it's verbal emotional i got arrested spend fourteen hours in jail never been in trouble with the law. and you know system you experienced said that i didn't know. what my relationship status was today at least my family and i was the biggest thing to me
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. what happens to my family it's what my life is about balance my family and i did nothing. this violence is a way of obtaining power and control this violence is usually accompanied by jealousy also a fear of losing power and control it is accompanied by verbal abuse and putdowns again as a way to obtain power and control as you see it's only perfectly ordinary house and he really does wreck their house and that's when the minute the worker in this this is there at the master bedroom and he went right above the bed i mean you can see homer baby killer and everything else where they divorced at the time they were really separated the time she just asked him to move out he got really jealous he
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came in the room said you're not sleeping with me you're sleeping with somebody else put the hand down started moving to the ground put a gun into the nothing the twenty seven year old were in the room screaming don't kill mommy don't kill mommy and the only reason he starter about five minutes of that was because the kids are being hysterical and he made the mother leave the house tonight and moved out for a while and she has injuries even a felon or the school when he had her on the ground she was done yes i mean he had the gun execution style right in front of children in the mouth of the strangulation relational is exactly like the mark went and yet again and come out in our mouth in front of the elizabeth. if she leaves that is not necessarily going to make the violence go away many times leaving will cause an increase in the violence because again why do we have the violence it's power and control if hit the victim leaves now that is a slap in the face to power and control. we
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had three children our middle i was an attorney she was a very brilliant girl tremendous sense. humor varied and there are three and a very kind caring person he was a placement they were married close to three years her friends told her that he dragged around by her hair so any bruises on her head you know would not be visible and he body bruise would not it was one morning rant five thirty six thirty in the morning got a phone call and we were in said johnny is no longer with us and we thought. a lot there's been a car accident he said there's there's some sort of problem here bonnie shot herself as far as we now she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom she had another bag packed that was in her car our assumption is she told him that she was leaving him and he shot her and then
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wiped the faded prints off the gun obviously bonnie did not choose. who i live in camera. said that his wife a child herself voices in the back or. she was nine and she was calling for one to help and as far as losing a child that's devastating but even more so was to see my parents. lose a grand on. that. i watched the both of them in. there that he had been arrested he was subsequently released. and was not charged with murder d.a. said they didn't have enough evidence to indict him the judge said it's in my
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cork. so we didn't get him and. when we first found out about the fact that she was abused and had been of use for three years we were stamped because domestic violence doesn't happen to people like us for college educations and this happens to poor people this doesn't happen to two attorneys to doctors wives of this type of thing. turkey her comment on and mastic violence would be that it's a free. luk
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mission free recommendation free the terms for chargers free. range means dream up three hours to chide friedland the old free lunch as
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at. me he. says.

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