tv [untitled] August 16, 2011 1:30pm-2:00pm EDT
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if you just joined the very welcome this is all to live in moscow top stories this france and germany proposed a single collective eurozone government led by the e.u. president to steer the block out of its debt troubles would be able to overrule any local government decision. the skies over moscow welcome the world of aviation as scores of the latest jets performed breathtaking stunts at this year's max show. and a market in bodies a gruesome organ trade in india is on the rise with authorities accused of colluding with those illegally preying on poverty stricken people second fighting battles. with more of their stories for innocent thirty minutes now in the meantime
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america's authentic of domestic violence. into the psyche of both victims and abuses. of abuse to me. i can sum it up in one word this air. and i just printed. if you couldn't find me if i could just live through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that what was going to happen was that he was going to kill me. i love this guy in a promise to be his wife into order and respect and cherish him in this
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is what he did to me. how much sense this is the more significance to this day. it's really important to ask her are you buying her are you afraid to go back home if we don't pass we won't find out. she had a bag packed that was in a van and share another bag packed that was in her car our assumption that she told him that he was that she was living. in the portrait of the abuse is that is extremely frightening extremely dark even if it's simply that as a community we can provide that ran home and.
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just one thing for the lesser qualified open ball the parents reporters cover stories every day of domestic violence in america they shine the spotlight on famous men arrested for murder or assault of a girlfriend or wife the daily headlines reveal secrets of private people victims and abusers hidden from view until police investigate. many stories fail to name the crime as domestic violence or put the crisis in context. at least four million women are affected by abuse every year it is a public health at the demick and we must do more to save women's lives. if you think that
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a for women you know. and realize that one out of every four women is being abused it's appalling domestic violence can affect people from any and each range any social economic background any racial or cultural background we've seen women from asian countries who married american man moved to this country and then were abused we've seen people from some of the middle eastern countries who are abused as part of their culture so it can hit anybody she can just be any more it can hit dr swan's policeman's wives ministers' wives many victims don't understand that domestic violence includes verbal abuse psychological abuse physical abuse and sexual abuse. it's real it's invisible all of the satish six or part are not laurie here they are telling us what's going on.
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i was told that i want to be an artist my father and i would go for sunday drives that he would ask and we're going to do look up us like you know i'm going to be an artist when i met the man i fell in love with and i'll psych ok you know i think i'll give love a try it was twenty five. and the country may well good the military. only for two years dated for one year that we live very first debate was. will we get married i got pregnant a man even today and i was pregnant i was excited we're both very excited lol i am . losing my baby and it's a pregnancy so i came whole legal after recovery and you know for recovery after
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a surgery my husband picked me up and he threw me. and i don't even know what set him off while an art can pick me up and threw me across the road and out all the hours that goes like oh my god my stitches are going to rip what am i going to do it's like his soul was just empty as start to get physical but the choking. just really lifted it just thinking about it you know see clips of my life just just flashing in my head you know am i gonna die mike of it in my way you know what's happening to me so that i can operate a gasp or air but just something with it myself just made me just want to fight you know continue to live. i just have to. play remember the night that i made the decision to leave from that moment to the next morning i was in a war zone. first he beat me and how i was i found just held me down
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on the floor put his knees on my shoulders. and burned my marriage with a cigarette or in my arm with a cigarette. kicked me in the left ear until i was unconscious. and stripped me of my clothes and threw me in the back yard and i was twenty seven degrees below zero with the windchill that night we were in wisconsin and it was january so why france the garage and i knew i had to hide so i found a tarp and i read myself we met and i hid in a corner behind some things and i heard him come in and he had a stick and i heard him poking around in the garage. and i just prayed that. if you didn't find me if i could sleep through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that what was going to happen was that he was going to kill me
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because he told me so many times and that night he he promised me that he kill me and that he those kids will never see their mother my oldest son was at home at the time and he was. upstairs but he heard his father yelling and. he came down and his father just continued to attack me and he threw me to the crown in the hallway and then while i was down and i was trying to calm myself he started kicking me. and my son the look on my son's face was the scariest the worst there was you know we can start this down. i can remember pleading for my life as the mother of his children please don't hurt me i'm the mother of your children they need me when i pick myself up off the floor i realized that not only was i mean for my children's life but i was playing for my own and i couldn't be a mother. i wasn't existing and that was the light bulb moment for me honest
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this has to change and change. a lot of people are not aware that within domestic violence many women are raped. sexual abuse is probably the least talked about for the first eighteen years of my life i was told or had the sense of i was a row i was nothing i meant nothing i was not loved so the first guy that walks by and says i love you that was it that wow somebody loves me and now it was all i needed and i was so blinded by that that i couldn't see all the other little what signs that were there and then as we got into marriage and i had a child all of a sudden it happens things change when you get pregnant you have a child well i breastfed and the first thing you know i was like oh those are my breasts not my son's and i'm like i'm breastfeeding him so he lives and he was
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threatened and felt jealous. no one gives you necessarily the rules i mean of when you get married this is the rules of being a wife and a lot of times and even now a a mindset is when you say i do oh well you're supposed to perform sexual acts in bed and that as with consent and that's where the difference really lies is that. i wasn't consenting i mean i would say now and i would say now and i would say now and it didn't matter. where we would call it a dead fish and can imagine being married to somebody in your bedroom you're telling him that ok i'm going to lay here like a dead smelly fish and you can just open yourself and that's what i did. how every other night for years. in that was what my dear she was. i love
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this guy and we promised to be his wife into honor and respect insurance you know and this is what he did to me. but you can't go talk to somebody about this because they'll turn around and say well you married him here you chose him. so where do you go what do you do you. inside and now sat. down because that's what i learned to do growing up. young lady less than twenty years of age married came in the office pregnant and i followed her through her pregnancy and i noticed towards the end are probably in the last trimester of her pregnancy she frequently would come in with bruises and maybe bruises on her abdomen she came in one day with with a black eye and her husband was all ways right there and i would ask her if you
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want to talk about anything what's going on and she always had a reason why she was had these bruises. and i guess i believed her that impressor. about three to four weeks prior to her delivery date she came into the emergency room and she was in shock from blood loss. the baby was dead and she had huge enjoyed your. probably from the roots i think probably he had been kicking her. baby. and she died. and that taught me a very significant lesson had i had the opportunity to have spoken to her privately . we had a very good relationship i think she would have told me if there was a problem. and after that every person i saw everything was are you happy and i learned how to screen for it.
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i think that they're still in american society the view that what it curbs behind closed doors remains behind closed doors and what happens between two enter ments a husband or wife or a boyfriend and a girlfriend really is their business the media generally reflects to some extent what is going on in society it very much comes from this patriarchal idea of man as ruler and then in order to take control of his possessions which included house property cattle children and females spare the rod spoil the child that also translated to women as well so essentially what happens with a woman is she goes from being under the rule of her father that is then transferred to her husband and i think this is often why people find this somewhat humorous but it's really not humorous. when the talkback women gossiped a lot of women that just were not under very good control it was deemed necessary
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to use force to about not. don't tell me you're sorry. sir there's only one way to beating kicking those types of things that plays into the idea that women essentially that are being abused somehow are deserving of that abuse they have brought it on their head picking their husbands there's a possibility of adultery they don't know when to shut up they push them too far and so essentially they're asking for it in this plays into how in the criminal justice system we treat women who are abused which traditionally has not been very well and so there's a general kind of perception in the hierarchy of power structure of the females are still under males and that the man knows best and if the man is resorting to
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violence somehow it's because either it's necessary and or she brought it on herself so we see this in that scene in titanic where he tells her you will not embarrass me you are going to be my wife and you will abide by my rules. practice if not you by law so you will. time he learned what comes first marriage or job and up with. systems like he can't even find time to want to form. work or using his brain to make something out of himself. look up to him. she can.
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make like a getting a wife oh sure who is boss his home is his castle he is the boss there and he rules. and he rules badly. and you have somebody that is not very empowered to do much except try to survive try to make nice try to walk on eggshells try not to make him mad again and he always tells her it's your fault you made me angry because a little this or you didn't do that if you get that kind of information just thrown at you especially if this is not the first time and battered but before you got into this relationship you may have had another and another relationship and certainly you may have gotten back to what it looked like in your family of origin if mom did not leave her battery has been your father the chances of you getting
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away are less the battered wife. that doesn't leave. is expressing one of the sad symptoms of being battered is that you become unowned and you really have a sense of hopelessness except to try to narc. trigger the rage of the batter. who has. out of his own security made real threats that are quite believable. must batterers tend to minimize things that sons tend to think well it was a one time thing or she made me angry i didn't hit her that hard i you know i didn't mean to do that i also provide counseling to the women i've heard on several
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occasions when i hear that door closed i shiver and that's sad so magine in your own home again scared by hearing the board calls and it's not a stranger coming in the door it's their partners or spells. my name is richard i'm thirty five i've been married for almost three years now. and we have three children together now so i have two stepchildren so toller five we grew up pretty similar you know not a lot of fighting a lot of drugs or alcohol so we definitely showed common bond that we kind of hoped each other c. would have news we don't need to go to i tried to avoid the conflict saying how it made unhappy times when growing up as a kid my parents divorced when i was five when mom got relationship my dad got
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a relationship. violence there physical and verbal it's not a choice i want my life a lot my life to be my life to the day we leave this earth remember him then a member being handcuffed. for most embarrassing moments in my life. violence not is not only physical you know it's verbal emotional i got arrested spent fourteen hours in jail never been in trouble with the law. and you know it's just a new experienced sin that i didn't know. what my relationship status was today i lose my family that was the biggest thing to me. what happens to my family it's what my life is about now is my family and i do enough. this violence is a way of obtaining power and control and this violence is usually
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accompanied by jealousy also a fear of losing power and control it is accompanied by verbal abuse and putdowns again as a way to obtain power and control as you see it's a perfectly ordinary house and he really just wrecked their house about twenty minutes they were in this this is there at the master bedroom and he went right above the bed i mean you can see who are baby killers and everything else where they divorced at the time they were really separated the time she just asked him to move out he got really jealous he came in the room said you're not sleeping with me you're sleeping with somebody else put the hand down sort of going to the ground put a gun into the mouth the twenty seven year old were in the room screaming don't kill mommy don't kill mommy and the only reason he stopped or five minutes of that was because the kids were getting hysterical and he made the mother leave the house bill has been moved out for a while but she has injuries you can bet out there on her knees when he had her on
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the ground she was downey's i mean he had the gun execution style right in front of children in the mouth. strangulation relationally is exactly where the mark went and yet again and come out in her mouth in front of the intercepts. if she leaves that is not necessarily going to make the violence go away many times leaving will cause an increase in the violence because again why do we have the violence it's power and control if the victim lives now that is a slap in the face to power and control. we had three children our mental i was an attorney she was a very brilliant girl tremendous sense. are varied and there are three and a very kind caring person he was a placement they were married close to three years her friends tell me that he
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dragged around by her hair so any bruises on her head you know would not be visible and a body bruise would not be visible one morning about five thirty six thirty in the morning i got a phone call and we were in said bonnie is no longer with us and we thought. what there's been a car accident he said there's there's some sort of problem here bonnie shot herself as far as we now she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom she had another bag packed that was in her car our assumption is she told him that she was leaving him and he shot her and then wiped the prints off the gun obviously the money did not chips. in camera called nine one one said that his wife each other stuff on his voices in the back or. she was not. and she was calling for one to help
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and as far as losing a child that's devastating but to even more stuff was to say my parents. lose a granddaughter. i watched them both good. and that he had been arrested it was subsequently released. and was not charged with murder da said they didn't have enough evidence to indict him the judge said it's in my court. so again him and when we first found out about the fact that she was abused and had been abused for three years we were stand up because domestic
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violence doesn't happen to people like us people with college educations and this happens to poor people. this doesn't happen to two attorneys to doctors wives this type of thing kercher comment on under mastic violence would be that it's everywhere. at least fifteen to twenty million years for the planet to recover from a major extinction event for the planet is time we don't. it's been going on for months twenty five years and since it's been moved before there was even islamic fundamentalist terrorist in this country nine eleven happened the bush administration could not find any terrorists because the feds couldn't find any
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real terrorists they decided to take these young people who are accused of property sabotage and label ben as terrorists someone he'll destroy his property. with absolutely zero intention of harming a single human being. in my mind it's not fair and real people who are green in this country are the housewives who recycle. and the children who play trees on the weekend with their cub scout troops that's the. sound. guys have. time to catch. up.
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