the key element. keys my old. street with the palm of your. nine thirty on a sunday morning this is up to you live in moscow good to have you with us top stories now this hour heavy gunfire and explosions are heard in the libyan capital is rebels claim that they've launched an attack on tripoli with colonel gadhafi last approaching and some reports suggest the now plans are celebrating follow up so if the government forces repelled the offensive. such a violence in the middle east with fears and deadly exchange of fire between israel and gaza might lead to the jewish state launching a new ground attack meanwhile israelis protesting against social injustice say the government might use the conflict to divert attention from the problems at home.

and britain fights back against recent riots with horse sentences handed to those who only thought about taking policy concerns the government's excessive response will simply fuel public discontent and coming back with more on those stories for you in less than half an hour from now in the meantime it's our special report on the epidemic of the mistake abuse in the us which delves into the psyche of both the victims and their abuses. no one really wants to touch on the subject of abuse because everyone's like you know that's a family affair that's what we know has been and a wife we're going to stay out of it will want nothing to do with it at all his cousins his brothers everyone ran out the house none of his friends came to my eight three just left everyone just left. they just let him beat me left me with another now you know and god forbid

i hate i would hate to say if i would have stayed in a year longer cali would be sitting here today trade coffee day or sitting in jail somewhere and that's just honest are true if those around the two options that i saw that moment either are going to kill him on me in jail or he's going to kill it me it just spiraled aside one thing after another it was like you know like i was in a black hole everything to start caving in on me everything that i thought that i was going to be you know when i met him and other marriage was supposed to be when him and i know we discussed our dating in our hopes and dreams and things that we want to do together everything just crumbled like a glass house you know ideas just throw one rock or should get a b.b. gun and then we'll just share. if you don't care about yourself it doesn't matter it does not matter anymore it doesn't matter why are you here why are you living

you don't want to live anymore you don't have self-love you know you don't want to live you know that's why women commit suicide you know that's why women you know people are going to drug abuse and alcohol abuse it's all about self-love any type of use is about self-love not having self-love it's important because that's all it and that's going to get child the situation is going to love yourself again. people think she should have been able to get out of it why couldn't she get out of that i would never let that. happened to me i'd just leave those are sort of those famous last words kind of statements because this is an extraordinarily complex issue there is nothing simple about being a victim of domestic violence i will take your children away i'll make sure that no one ever speaks to you again oh ruin your reputation i will make sure you leave with no money i mean all of these things when you hear them time after time after

time after time and he's beaten you time after time after time time when you work so hard to believe this believe it with all your heart i made the decision that night to formulate a plan and that i would be out of there by the time my youngest son was ready for kindergarten which i had two years so i now knew i had two years left of abuse before i could leave twenty two beatings and that two years there were violent episodes which would happen sporadically and of course every time i would try to convince myself thought i have time and he would convince me this is never going to happen again and the last time. but they continue to happen so i thought it was something i was doing wrong i thought it was something i should fix it sounds kind of crazy but i want to quit or i wanted to make things work i wanted to i wanted to have a six year marriage that my family had and i always thought through thick and thin

meant through thick and thin this is why they told stories of prisoners of war that are actually kept captive with the doors open and no fences around the reason they don't leave is because the fear of what's going to happen if they try to is more overwhelming than staying there and taking the punishment it's a true story it's all part of being a prisoner and it's all part of living in the worst known. what we've really seen as a huge shift in policy to the way that we respond to intimate partner violence through the criminal justice system this largely came about in the beginning of the sixty's and into the seventy's and we're still refining this policy but really prior to this we've had a very hands off approach to incidents of domestic violence where the police

were rarely called if they were called they were really mandated to do nothing the police would show up. they would mediate the call ball or they would separate the couple but then they would leave. and go to. sleep and. you know can you take me. sorry we didn't see if you would so we're not allowed to just the burning bed is an interesting perspective because it brings about the idea that women will fight back or that when women are out had enough they're going to fight back. and today almost all of our states either have a mandatory or a preferred rest policy this mandates that police officers when there is probable cause will make an arrest when they are called to the scene of an alleged domestic violence case and we now provide essentially under the law an equal protection regardless of gender and regardless of the relationship between the offender and

the victim and i went to court i got awarded. through the service these classes and the miscellaneous ones for me personally. just my feelings and communication was biggest challenge in my relationship which led to a lot of our arguments. and thought learning how to share them i would have been in that same old rut we all come into that with the same mindset countless class. and you know you just start like i said it self assessment kind of makes you look at yourself in a different light be educated and. is this the road you want to go to they really don't see the emotional damage that they have done in the relationship because you're teaching them a whole different thing as far as emotions and how to use you know the words about emotions not just hang out identify that underlying emotion such as hurt and

frustrated and things like that our richard falls into that because when he first came. here he kind of minimized you know his actions then and spoke as though you know it was just this that was just that you know when you hear them say just or i only you know those are the key words that you know you know that they're trying to minimize or just over and into their maybe in their mind they think yeah it was just that in this that however they don't realize the damage. we have to name the problem. and give it voice very loudly. and say stop and yell more until we have our health care system waking up to the fact that we're going we need to look at prevention and root cause i think it's incredibly important that we start opening her eyes and asking the

question. the worst case of abuse that i had was a lady who came in actually. with a fractured arm one of the things that really raises my suspicion would be injuries inconsistent with how the patient reports they happened or maybe an enterprise response to an injury downplay. in the injury or over reacting to an injury what happened is that her significant other had basically broken her arm literally broke it and she was in a lot of pain. she didn't initially want to say that he did also kind of look at the relationship between the partners to see if it feels

odd to you just kind of your human gut instinct just kind of trust your gut and you always have in the back of your mind could this patient be a victim of abuse we know that frequently these women may have several encounters with. health care agencies etc before they stopped help and you just hope that you're the one that makes the difference any time we have concerns we can call our social worker and they can work with our patients to help them access any services that they need we have a lot of patients and a lot of women who are in these relationships who do not want to tale that they're being abused because they're afraid that they have nowhere to go or no one that's going to help them and they'll be out there by themselves there are opportunities for a patient to be alone for an exam such as x. ray i do not even accompany a patient to extra i without a leg am there are times that we can ask the abuser to perform

a task for us to get a medication list or to get an insurance card or to make a phone call for the victim or something of that nature we also have security if we have great concerns that we are at risk that the patients at risk cetera we would enact to our security plan sometimes staff will just let me know that there is spike family violence and i just have to go in and meet with them and start to try to build rapport with them and see how much victims willing to open. to me the scariest time for a victim is when they're leaving the base of relationship and that's when the abuser can feel most threatened and want to take ownership and show possession that can be the most dangerous time for them and that's why we do safety planning here at the hospital prior to then leaving even if they're returning to and base that relationship i think it would be a good thing to have manners towards screening for domestic violence obvious the wear and then they did with forms and paperwork when we see

a patient in this form is not going to slow down the process of treating a patient that large and it could be a good idea i think we can save lives and i think that if we try and to make this more than issue and more of a for omeo put on the forefront to lead women know and educating our communities about domestic violence and i think it will really help to prevent it and help to decrease the prevalence of if patients don't know that help exists. how can they be saved absolutely i think i have said was that if you are. you know any women shop around will tell you that but them they have special

precautions about you know how women need to prepare in order to be able to leave their house they are a safe place. are you ok right near the shelter advocate and answers the phone is first and foremost just there to listen and to kind of hear was the person is asking about we try to assess the situation and offer her the shelter in the services that we have and even if shelter is not what she sees in her desiring her she's not thinking you know that she needs that or wants to come to the shelter we made sure she's aware of all the services to our outreach center and counseling and really encourage her to get some help for what she's going to throw some special place when i was thinking when i go or where i can be i never imagined in some of the areas of the show there is like a mother arms like police can be a home bill for because he's not only a room a clean beer

a plate of food so michael moore i feel so good prayer is so guilty so. somebody came to us and say. warry. if you're going to. hire you for we can help you. get out. get out cause the cops no matter what he tells you you can find safety you can find safety you care and you will find safety he will say anything he wants to anything. to keep you under his thumb to keep you right where he wants you. so he can keep abusing you and it's only going to get worse it's going to get worse it's going to get worse if gotta make

that step take that step of faith that faith in yourself you may not believe it's a mess but it's there and it's there you'll find it you'll find. a safety plan is a mechanism that is used to help an individual stay safe in their home and they're working environment to help them stay safe when they are traveling or with their children. it is pretty comprehensive and it involves evaluating where the high risk points are a lot of people don't consider. which rooms have little ways that they could exit if they needed to and which planes have items in there that could be used as weapons you know you would think well you might want to go there because there's a weapon you could use but typically that's not a good idea because the person who's trying to hurt you could also use that as weapons entry into a place like a bathroom

a lot of people would want to go there because a small confined it feels safe you can lock the door but in fact you can't really get hot of a bathroom easily and so it would be a dead end and that person could once they get through the door seriously and. person you would want to have coped words or something particular to communicate to your children when nine one one needs to be calmed inform neighbors and that there is something that they should keep their eyes peeled for because there might be an incident that you can't get to a phone but if they hear something they know it's a problem and also to identify a person where they could if they get out of the how where did they go is there someone that's typically home is there someone that could help them in an emergency so those are the kinds of things that would be evaluated additionally traveling alone or independently is usually not a good idea and if someone does have to travel alone to very bad route whether

you're going to work or to the germ to vary your routine so that it's not predictable to someone who knows you very well. but i think hospitals have a wonderful position to deal with this epidemic and i will be able to back. first of all my senses but we've always been the catcher's mitt for society and what's going on a second we're a safe haven for people and so the hospital itself is a place where people can feel safe and comfortable and the opportunity of hospitals to do assessment to do scream and then to offer opportunity for resources is something we have a great afternoon. the prosecutors can't do it alone the police officers the doctors and the service providers cannot do it alone but if we all work together

and work together as a team to address every need an aspect of the victims situation and it is a game that we can win because when we work together we make a really form. medical opponent be smarter than i am just because you have to create or you make a lot of money or you don't think you have a way out if you have no money there are support groups there are people that will help you find a way out. and anything any place is better. away from that environment if we could paint a picture of a brighter future one thing that we definitely have to do is we have to detach the stigma of domestic violence i think that there is this persona that domestic violence is what happens to other people it doesn't happen to normal people it doesn't happen to you know middle class people who go to their jobs and get

educations and just live their lives but we know it does and it happens everywhere and people need to learn to speak out we need to empower women to ask for help to seek help when they're in these situations that we will believe them that there are places they can turn whether this are victim shelters or calling the police calling nine one one going to a trusted friend a neighbor the local clinic the hospital but how can we stop it before it happens or when we start that cycle how can we intervene in the middle of it that's when we're going to have a brighter picture of tomorrow it's going to continue to be a journey and not only for me but for my children and perhaps for their children but we've got each other and god willing we are together to to work through it so. this was just going to destroy my life and destroy me if i had been turned around

to do something positive and then to move. working with the shoulders and scholarships let it go and move on. because life is too short you just are of the past windows to my soul or to. that it's a little bit of everything it's a mixture of you know my hopes my dreams my desires and my aspirations and my vision myself doing the separately i do believe in the concept of visualisation you know if you can see here in you. vision yourself doing something it's going to happen i surely believe that you know i really really realize that you are a strong woman then you want someone who's going to encourage you and love you and make you want to pursue your dreams that's important it really is important so just get out and move on you know it's better things are going to happen but you have in order to start something new you have to do away with all you have to do with the

past in order for good things to happen in your life you have to get rid of that first you know it's scary at first because you don't know what you're going to do it's ok it's ok it's ok to be confused it's ok to be angry it's ok to scare but most importantly you're still alive to feel that way so that's important at least you're still alive and you have another day to make a change but you have to start today. after i am now thirty five years old so it's been ten years since my experience everything is falling into place for me. it's creating. a new member when we couldn't say what the word breast the shame attached to a woman going in and talking about breast cancer twenty years ago was terrible. so we've really got a lot of work to do to be able to be able to go in and talk openly and honestly about abuse so that women can hear that it's ok to talk about it so we can move

ahead like we have on breast cancer. it would be wonderful i'm going to live to see that happen i think i am.

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of. this is true still keeps its secrets a denounced time to reveal visions of the soviet files on oxy. plans all. the angles of approach. luggage future flights. are two types to the max their show. as you know song was sixteen years old when he committed these murders that's not to say that song so are some of the honest for his crimes song is being punished no rational person and deny that sean has been punished is being honest and will be honest. as ours must be executed for the brutal crime committed this is

a punishment this is not. imagine. saying they. caused. any mercy on me whatsoever. how i didn't come here justice. and heard they first. started this man. trial martin. and my dad is now.

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