to. come to. you need. such a book because. moscow. one thirty pm sunday afternoon here in moscow good to have you with us top stories this hour heavy gunfire and explosions are heard in the libyan capital as rebels claim they've launched an attack on tripoli with colonel gadhafi is for fast approaching but some reports suggest the loud bangs what sort of breakthrough fall where the government forces repelled the offense. and such violence in the middle east with fears of deadly exchange of fire between israel and gaza might lead to the jewish state launching a new ground attack meanwhile israelis protesting against social injustice say the government could use the conflict to divert attention from problems at home. and

britain fights back against recent riots with harsh sentences handed suppose you've only thought about taking part in our concerns the government's excessive response will simply fuel public interest. he continues with my colleague commitment i think in about half an hour from now in the meantime it's a special report for you on the epidemic of domestic abuse in the us which delves into the psyche of both the victims and uses. it. to me. i can sum it up in one word this air. and i just proved that if you can find me if i could just live through the night that are and get my kids out of here because i knew that was going to happen was that he was going to kill me.

i love this guy and i promise to be his wife into honor and respect and cherish innocence what he did to me. the look on my son. is the more significant stop this down. it's really important to ask her are you being hurt are you afraid to go back home if we don't as we won't find them. she had a bag packed that was in a bedroom share mother of a pack that was in her car our assumption that she told him that he will that she was living. a portrait of abuse is that is extremely frightening extremely dark even if it's simply that as

a community we can provide that ran home and. just one piece of the left or qualified both involving parents reporters cover stories every day of domestic violence in america they shine the spotlight on famous men arrested for murder or assault other girlfriend or wife the daily headlines reveal secrets of private people victims and abusers hidden from view until police investigate. many stories fail to name the chronicle as domestic violence or put the crisis in context. at least four million women are affected by abuse every year it is

a public health at the dinner. and we must do more to save women's lives. if you think that of poor women you know. and realize that one out of every four women is being abused it's appalling domestic violence can affect people from any age range any social economic background any racial or cultural background we've seen women from asian countries who marry american man and move to this country and then were abused we've seen people from some of the middle eastern countries who are abused as part of their culture so it can hit anybody can just be any more it can hit dr strides policeman's wives ministers' wives many victims don't understand that domestic violence includes

verbal abuse psychological abuse physical abuse and sexual abuse. it's real it's invisible. to sticks or are not laurie here they are telling us what's going on. i always knew that i was me an artist refound and i would go for a sunday drive said he would ask and we're going to do up a such no i'm to be an artist when i met this man i fell in love with them all psycho kay and i think i'll give love a try it was twenty five. well through the military. me for two years dated for one year. we could live a first of it was. well we got married i got pregnant oh man i'm

a night and i was pregnant i was excited we're both very excited well i end up losing my baby and it's a pregnancy so i came whole needle after recovery and you know for recovery after a surgery my husband picked me up and he threw me. and i don't even know what set him off marlon argument but he picked me up and threw me across the room and aus all the elves that you know say oh my god my stitches are going to rip what am i going to do it's like his soul was just empty as start to get physical with the choking. just read a little bit just thinking about it and i would see glimpse of my life just just flashing in my head you know am i going to die michael died in my way you know what's happening to me so when i couldn't breathe i would get a spray air or just something with it myself just made me just want to fight you know continue to live. i just had to.

lie around for the night that i made the decision to leave from that moment to the next morning i was in a war zone. first he beat me and how i was going from just held me down on the floor put his knees on my shoulders. and burned my marriage with a cigarette burn my arm with a cigarette. kicked me in the left ear until i was unconscious. and stripped in my clothes and threw me in the back yard and i was twenty seven degrees below zero with the windchill that night we were in wisconsin and it was january so i ran to the garage and i knew i had to hide so i found a tarp and i wrap myself in it and i hid in a corner behind some things and i heard him come in and he had a stick and i heard him poking around in the garage. and i just prayed that. she

didn't find me if i was looking through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that it was going to happen or that he was going to kill me because he told me so many times and that night he he promised me that he kill me and that he those kids would never see their mother my oldest son was at home at the time and he was. upstairs but he heard his father yelling and. he came down and his father just continued to attack me and he threw me to the ground in the hallway and then while i was down and i was trying to her myself and he started kicking me. and my son the look on my son's face was the scariest thing ever similar because you know we can stop this down and we could help i can remember pleading for my life as the mother of his children please don't hurt me on the mother bear children they need me when i pick myself up before i realized that

not only was that waiting for my children's life but i was playing for my own and i couldn't be a mother. if i was an existing and that was the lightbulb moment for me when i said this has to change and only act changes. a lot of people are not aware that within domestic violence many women are raped. social abuse is probably the least talked about for the first eighteen years of my life i was told or have a sense of i was a row i was nothing i meant nothing i was not loved so the first guy that walks by and says i love you that was a that wow somebody loves me and now it was all i needed and i was so blinded by that that i couldn't see all the other little signs that were there and then as

we got into marriage and i had a child all of a sudden it happens things change when you get pregnant you have a child well i breastfed and the first thing you know was like oh those are my breasts not my son's and i'm like i'm breastfeeding him so he lives and he was threatened and felt jealous. no one gives you necessarily the rules i mean of when you get married this is the rules of being a wife in a lot of times and even now they are mindset is when you say i do all or you supposed to perform sexual acts and bad and that's with consent and that's where the difference really lies is that. i wasn't consenting i mean i would say now and i would say no and i would say now and it didn't matter. they got to where we would call it a dead fish and can you imagine being married to somebody eighteen in your bedroom

church showing him that ok i'm going to lay here like a good smelly fish then you can just hope yourself and that's what i did. how we every other night for years. and that was what my marriage was. i love this guy and i promise to be his wife into honor and respect tio insurance you know and this is what he did to me. but she can't go talk to somebody about this as they'll turn around and say well you married him huge chose him and so where do you go what do you. mean so i kept my mouth shut. because that's what i learned to do growing up. in way less than twenty years of age married came in the office pregnant and i followed her through her pregnancy and i noticed towards the end her probably in

the last trimester of her pregnancy she frequently would come in with bruises and maybe bruises or evelyn she came in one day with a with a black eye and her husband was all ways right there and i would ask her if she wanted to talk about anything what's going on and she always had a reason why she was had these bruises. and i said later that in pressure. about three to four weeks prior to her family every day she came into the emergency room and she was in shock from blood loss. the baby was dead and she had huge injury to her admin probably from the i think probably he had been kicking her. baby. and she did. and that taught me a very significant lesson had i had the opportunity to have spoken to her privately . we had a very good relationship i think she would have told me if there was

a problem. and after that i'd ask every person i saw everything was a are you happy and i learn how to scream for it. i think that they're still in american society the view that what it curbs behind closed doors remains behind closed doors and what happens between two intimates a husband a wife or a boyfriend and a girlfriend really is their business the media generally reflects to some extent what is going on in society very much comes from this patriarchal idea of man as ruler and then in order to take control of his possessions which included house property cattle children and females spare the rod spoil the child that also translated to women as well so essentially what happens with the woman is she goes

from being under the rule of her father that is then transferred to her husband and i think this is often why people find this somewhat humorous but it's really not humorous. women they talk back women that gossiped a lot on women that just were not under very good control it was deemed necessary to use force not. tell me your story. i'm sorry there's only one beating kicking those types of things that plays into the idea that women essentially that are being abused somehow are deserving of that abuse they have brought it on their head picking their husbands there's a possibility of adultery they don't know when to shut up they push them too far and so essentially they're asking for it and this plays into how in the criminal

justice system we treat women who are abused which traditionally has not been very well and so there is a general kind of perception in the hierarchy of power structure of the females are still under males and that the man knows best and if the man is resorting to violence somehow it's because either it's necessary and or she brought it on herself so we see this in that scene on the titanic where he tells her you will not embarrass me you are going to be my wife and you will abide by my rules. for x. six not yet you will. time she learned what comes first marriage or job. were left overs and

dishes and think she can't even find time to sew want to form. and work or using your brain to make something out of him so. she competes with. me and i like her i was getting a wife oh sure who is boss his home is his cash so he is the boss there and he rules. and he rules badly. and you have somebody that is not very empowered to do much except try to survive try to make nice try to walk on eggshells try not to make him mad again and he always tells her it's your fault you made no engle because you did this or you didn't know that if you get that kind of information just thrown at you especially if this is not the first time and battered but before you got into this relationship you may have had

another and another relationship and certainly may have gotten back to what it looked like in your family who arjun if mom did not leave her battery has been your father the chances of you getting away are less the battered wife. that doesn't leave. is expressing one of the sad symptoms of being battered is that you become a numb and you really have a sense of hopelessness except to try to not. trigger the rage of the batter. who has. on of his own security made real threats that are quite believable.

batterers tend to minimize things they tend to think well it was a one time thing or she made me angry i didn't hit her that hard i you know i didn't mean to do that i also provide counseling to the women i've heard on several occasions when i hear that door closed i shiver and that's sad imagine in your own home again scared by hearing the door close and it's not a stranger coming in the door it's their partners or spells. my name is richard i'm thirty five i've been married for almost three years now. and we have three children together and else i have two stepchildren so it's all five we look pretty similar you know not a lot of fighting a lot of drugs or alcohol so we definitely church common bond that we kind of hope

each other see what avenues we don't need to go to i have tried to avoid the conflict saying how it made him happy times when growing up as a kid my parents divorced when i was five when on that relationship my dad got a relationship. for violence there physical and verbal it's not a choice i want my life a lot my life to be my life till the day we leave this earth remember him and i remember being handcuffed. for most embarrassing moments in my life. violence not is not only physical you know it's verbal emotional and i got arrested spent fourteen hours in jail never been in trouble with the law. and you know it's just a new experience sitting there i didn't know. what my relationship status was today was my family and i was the biggest thing to me. what happens to my family it's

what my life is about now is my family and i mean nothing. this violence is a way of obtaining power and control this violence is usually accompanied by jealousy also a fear of losing power and control it is accompanied by verbal abuse and put downs again as a way to obtain power and control as you see it's a perfectly ordinary house and he really has wrecked their house about twenty minutes in the courtroom this this is their at the master bedroom and he went right above the bed i mean you can see homer baby killer and everything else where they divorced at the time they were really separated the time she just asked me to move out he got really jealous he came in the room said you're not sleeping with me you're sleeping with somebody else put their hand down sort of we were into the

ground put a gun into the mouth of tim is seven year old were in the room really don't kill mommy don't kill mommy and the only reason you start or five minutes of that was because the kids are getting hysterical and he made the mother leave the house blackman moved out for a while because she has injuries you can bet on her he said when he had her on the ground she was downey's i mean he had to go an execution style right in front of children in the mouth. strangulation relational is exactly what the mark went in yet again and come out in her mouth in front of the innocents. if she leaves that is not necessarily going to make the violence go away many times leaving will cause an increase in the islands because again why do we have the violence it's power and control if hit the victim leaves now that is a slap in the face to power and control. we have three children our middle child i was an attorney she was

a very brilliant girl tremendous sense of you. them are varied and there are three and a very kind caring person he was a placement they were married close to three years her friends told her that he dragged around by her hair so any bruises on her head you know would not be visible and he body bruises would not be visible one morning at five thirty six thirty in the morning i got a phone call and we were in said bonnie is no longer with us then we thought. what there's been a car accident he said there's there's some sort of problem here bonnie shot herself as far as we now she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom she had another bag packed it was in her car our assumption is she told him that she was leaving him and he shot her and then

wiped the fingerprints off the gun obviously money did not chips. in them cover it up called nine one one said that his wife each other's voices in the back or. she was not. and she was calling for one to help and as far as losing a child that's devastating but to even more stuff was to say my parents. lose a granddaughter. that. i watched the most. and he had been arrested he was subsequently released. and was not charged with murder da said they didn't have enough evidence to indict him the judge said it's in my court

to. sell it and get him and i when we first found out about the fact that she was abused and had been abused for three years we were stand up because domestic violence doesn't happen to people like us for college educations and this happens to poor people. this doesn't happen to to attorneys to doctors wives this type of thing kirk her comment on under mastic violence would be that it's a free. fall and the. closer. i

approach. was. to the max fair show. so. you want to talk over the good. of. this industry still can simply force a down time to reveal the hidden in the soviet files an oxy.

as you know song was sixteen years old on communities mars that's not to say that song so are so not be honest for his crimes sean is being honest no rational person can deny them saw has been honest is being honest and will be honest. as ours must be executed for the brutal crime committed this is a punishment this is not. to mention. that it's. constant immersed no matter what so ever. and i didn't come here just justice. and heard the first. star rebus more. violent r. . and i that is now.

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all. twenty years ago in the largest countries in. the subsequences the books. if. one had been trying to keep in touch began in germany. where did it take the. last time the close up team was in our movie where the gold rush still gets people talking. this time the car she goes to zero three should look for where the local government is giving power back to the people. where every orphan will be adopted. the locals turn their land into a tourist paradox i'll come to britain should close up.