with my colleague dmitri medvedev in about half an hour from now in the meantime it's a special report for you on the epidemic of domestic abuse in the u.s. which delves into the psyche of both the victims and their abuses. of abuse to me. i can sum it up in one word despair. and i just pray that if you didn't find me if i could just live through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that what was going to happen was that he was going to kill me. i love this guy and i promise to be his wife into honor and respect and cherish

you know this is what he did to me. the look on my son. is the thing that i can stop this dad. it's really important to ask her are you being hurt are you afraid to go back home if we don't as we won't find out. she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom shame on their backpack that was in her car our assumption as she told him that he was that she was leaving. the portrait of abuse is fine that is extremely frightening extremely dark even though it looks silly and that as a community we can provide that ran home. just

one case of the mustard while a flood both involving parents reporters cover stories every day of domestic violence in america they shine the spotlight on famous men arrested for murder or assault of a girlfriend or wife the daily headlines reveal secrets of private people victims and abusers hidden from view until police investigate. many stories fail to name the crowd as domestic violence or put the crisis in context. at least four million women are affected by abuse every year it is a public health epidemic and we must do more to save women's lives. if you think that of for women you know. and realize that one out of

every four women is being abused it's appalling domestic violence can affect people from any age range any social economic background any racial or cultural background we've seen women from asian countries who married american man and moved to this country and then were abused we've seen people from some of the middle eastern countries who are abused as part of their culture so it can hit anybody can just be any more it can hit doctors wives policeman's wives ministers' wives many victims don't understand that domestic violence includes verbal abuse psychological abuse physical abuse and sexual abuse. it's real it's visible statistics or. our hearts are not wiring here they are telling

us what's going on. i always know that i want to be an artist my father i would go for a sunday drive said he would ask who would want to do up us like you know i want to be an artist when i met this man i fell in love with him all psych ok you know i think i'll give love a try it was twenty five. and we met well we were the military. may for two years dated for one year that made the very first event was. well we got married i got pregnant a manual and i was pregnant i was excited we're both very excited well i end up losing my baby had a tubal pregnancy so i came whole you know after recovery and you know for recovery

after breast surgery my husband picked me up and he threw me. and i don't even know what set him off wireless arkan but he picked me up and threw me across the road and out all the hours that goes like oh my god my stitches are going to rip what am i going to do it's like his soul was just empty and start to get physical with the choking. this reliving that just thinking about it you know i would see clips of my life just just flashing in my head you know am i going to die mike and i and mike you know what's happening to me to the point i can brave a gasp or air. but just something with it myself just made me just want to fight you know continue to live. righteous had to. my remember the night that i made the decision to leave from that moment to the next morning i was in a war zone. first he beat me until i was unconscious held me down

on the floor put his knees on my shoulders. and burned my neck with a cigarette burn my arm with a cigarette. kicked me in the left ear until i was unconscious. and stripped me of my clothes and threw me in the back yard and it was twenty seven degrees below zero with the wind chill that night we were in wisconsin and it was january so i ran to the garage and i knew i had to hide so i found a tarp and i read myself in that and i hid in a corner behind some things and i heard him come in and he had a stick and i heard him poking around in the garage. and i just pray that he didn't find me if i could just live through the night that i would get my kids out of here because i knew that what was going to happen was that he was going to kill me because he told me so many times and that night he he promised me that he kill me

and that he those kids would never see their mother my youngest son was at home at the time and he was. upstairs but he heard his father yelling and. he came down and his father just continued to attack me and he threw me to the ground in the hallway and then while i was down and i was trying to calm myself he started kicking me. and my son the look on my son's face was the scariest thing ever similar because you know we can stop this dad could help me i can remember pleading for my life as the mother of his children please don't hurt me i'm the mother your children they need me when i pick myself off before i realized that not only was that pleading for my children's life but i was playing for my own and i couldn't be a mother. if i wasn't existing and that was the lightbulb i'm. for me when i say

this has to change and only i can change. a lot of people are not aware that within domestic violence many women are raped. sexual abuse is probably the least talked about for the first eighteen years of my life i was told or had the sense of i was i was nothing i meant nothing i was not loved so the first guy that walks by and says i love you that was yet wow somebody loves me and now it was all i needed and i was so blinded by that that i couldn't see all the other little signs that were there in the end as we got into marriage and i had a child all of a sudden you know it happens things change when you get pregnant you have a child well i breast fed and the first thing you know i was like well those are my breasts not my son's and i'm like i'm breastfeeding him so he lives and he was

threatened and felt jealous. no one gives you necessarily the rules i mean of when you get married this is the rules of being a wife in a lot of times and even now the a mindset is when you say i do oh well you're supposed to perform sexual acts in bed and but that's with consent and that's where the difference really lies is that. i wasn't consenting i mean i would say now and i would say no and i would say now and it didn't matter. got to where we would call it a dead fish engine imagine being married to somebody. in your bedroom if you're telling him that ok i'm going to lay here like a dead smelly fish and you can just help yourself in it is what i did. how we every other night for years. and that was what was. i love

this guy and i promised to be his wife into honor and respect and cherish him in this is what he did to me. but you can't go talk to somebody about this because they'll turn around and say well you married huge chose him and so where do you go what do you do you. can see i kept my mouth shut. because that's what i learned today growing up i think. young lady less than twenty years of age married came in the office pregnant enough aldor through her pregnancy and i noticed towards the nerve probably in the last trimester of her pregnancy she frequently would come in with bruises and maybe bruises or add when she came in one day with with a black eye and her husband was all ways right there and i would ask her if she

wanted to talk about anything what's going on and she always had a reason why she was had these bruises. and i guess i believed her that in pressure . about three to four weeks prior to her to every day she came into the emergency room and she was in shock from blood loss. the baby was dead and she had huge injury to her adman probably from boots i think probably he had been kicking her. baby dead and she died and in that taught me a very significant lesson had i had the opportunity to have spoken to her privately . we had a very good relationship i think she would have told me if there was a problem. and after that i ask every person i saw everything was at home and are you happy and i learned how to screen for.

i think that there are still in american society the view that what it curbs behind closed doors remains behind closed doors and what happens between two intimates a husband a wife or a boyfriend and a girlfriend really is their business the media generally reflects to some extent what is going on in society very much comes from this patriarchal idea of men as ruler and then in order to take control of his possessions which included house property cattle children and females spare the rod spoil the child that also translated to women as well so essentially what happens with the woman is she goes from being under the rule of her father that is then transferred to her husband and i think this is often why people find this somewhat humorous but it's really not humorous. when the talkback women gossiped a lot and women that just were not under very good control it was deemed necessary

to use force not. ten years. so there is only one way to beating kicking those types of things that plays into the idea that women essentially that are being abused somehow are deserving of that abuse they have brought it on their head picking their husbands there's the possibility of adultery they don't know when to shut up they push them too far and so essentially they're asking for it in this plays into how in the criminal justice system we treat women who are abused which traditionally has not been very well and so there's a general kind of perception in the hierarchy of power structure of the females are still under males and that the man knows best and if the man is resorting to

violence somehow it's because either it's necessary and or she brought it on herself so we see this in that scene on the titanic where he tells her you will not embarrass me you are going to be my wife and you will abide by my rules. yes. practice if not yet by law so you will. time she learned what comes first marriage or her job and up with leftovers and dishes and thing she can't even find time to sew want to form. and work or eating your brain to make something out of himself his wife doesn't look up to him. she competes with me in my own out of me and i like

a fool i was getting a wife oh sure who is boss his home is his cash so he is the boss there and he rules. and the rules badly. boil. and you have somebody that is not very empowered to do much except to try to survive try to make nice try to walk on eggshells try not to make him mad again and he always tells her it's your fault you made me angry because you did this or you didn't do that if you get that kind of information just thrown at you especially if this is not the first time you've been battered but before you got into this relationship you may have had another and another relationship and certainly may have gotten back to what it looked like in your family of origin if mom did not leave her battery husband your father the chances of you getting away. our less the battered

wife. that doesn't leave. is expressing one of the sad symptoms of being battered is sad become a noun and you really have as sense of hopelessness except to try to knock. trigger their rage of the batter who has often out of his insecurity made real threats that are quite believable. if. most batteries tend to minimize things they tend to think well it was a one time thing or she made me angry i didn't hit her that hard i you know i didn't mean to do that i also provide counseling to the women i've heard on several

occasions when i hear that door closed i shiver and that's sad imagine in your own home means scared by hearing the door close and it's not a stranger coming in the door it's their partners or spells. my name is richard i'm thirty five have been married for almost three years now. and we have three children gather and i also have two stepchildren so tall of five we grew up pretty similar you know not a lot of fighting what a drugs or alcohol so we definitely share common bond that we've kind of helped each other see what avenues we don't need to go down i have tried to avoid the conflict saying oh that made unhappy times when growing up as a kid my parents divorced when i was five my mom got relationship my dad got

a relationship. violence there physical and verbal it's not a choice i want my life alone my wife to be my wife to the day we leave this earth remember him and i member being handcuffed. to the most embarrassing moments in my life. violence not is not only physical you know it's verbal emotional i got arrested spent fourteen hours in jail never been in trouble with the law. and you know it's just a new experienced said that i didn't know. what my relationship status was today at least my family and i was the biggest thing to me. what happens to my family it's what my life is about now as my family and i do not feel. this violence is a way of obtaining power and control this violence is usually

accompanied by jealousy also a fear of losing power and control it is accompanied by verbal abuse and put downs again as a way to obtain power and control as he just sits on the perfectly ordinary house and he really just wrecked their house about twenty minutes and we're in this this is there are the master bedroom and he went right above the bed i mean you can see whore baby killer and everything else where they divorced at the time they were really separated the time she just asked him to move out he got really jealous he came in the room said you're not sleeping with me you're sleeping with somebody else put the hand down sort of we were into the ground put a gun into the mouth the tin a seven year old were in the room screaming don't kill mommy don't kill mommy and the only reason he stopped or five minutes of that was because the kids were getting hysterical and he made the mother leave the house bill has been moved out for a while but she has injuries you know fell down on her when he had her on the ground

she was done yes i mean he had the gun execution style right in front of children in the mouth of strangulation relational you see exactly where the thumb mark went in yet again and come out in her mouth in front of the women as. if she leaves that is not necessarily going to make the violence go away many times leaving will cause an increase in the violence because again why do we have the violence it's power and control if hit the victim leaves now that is a slap in the face to power and control. we have three children are mentally i was an attorney she was a very brilliant girl tremendous sense of humor very down there. and a very kind caring person he was a placement they were married close to three years her friends tell me that he

dragged around by her hair so any bruises on her head you know would not be visible and a body bruise would not be visible one morning at five thirty six thirty in the morning got a phone call and were in said bonnie is no longer with us. and we thought. what there's been a car accident he said there's there's some sort of problem here bonnie shot herself as far as we now she had a bag packed that was in her bedroom she had another bag packed that was in her car our assumption is she told him that she was leaving him and he shot her and then wiped the fingerprints off the gun obviously money did not chips. in camera and said that his wife each other's voices in the back or. she was nine. and she was calling from one to help and as far as

a losing a child that's devastating but to even more so was to say my parents. lose a grand on. that. i watched the most. ever that he had been arrested he was subsequently released. and was not charged with murder d.a. said they didn't have enough evidence to indict him and the judge said it's in my court. so we did get him and when we first found out about the fact that she was abused and had been abused for three years we were stamped because domestic violence doesn't happen to people like us

people with college educations and this happens to poor people. this doesn't happen to to attorneys to doctors wives this type of thing kirk her comment on and domestic violence would be. that it's a frequent. hands on. close up. i'm going to approach. a posture flight saddam our team takes to the max air show.

it's a. good thought it over. here. this industry still keeps its secrets but now it's time to reveal the hidden in the soviet files and auntie. as you know song was sixteen years old when he committed these murders that's not inside that song so it's a not be honest for his crimes song is being honest no rational person in the ny

that saw has been punished is being honest and will be honest. as ours must be executed for the brutal crime committed this is a punishment this is not. imagine. that it's. because we've been immersed know me whatsoever. how i didn't come here for justice. and heard the first. star rebus met. while martin. and my that is now.

twenty years ago the largest country in the world to certain places.

must have been trying. to teach began the journey. where did it take the. last time the close up team was. where the gold rush still gets people hiked up. this time margi goes to cure old region. where the local government is giving power back to the people. where every orphan will be adopted. where locals turn their land into a tourist paradox welcomes to rejoin russia closer on our team.

the main point of the attacks in tripoli which are sporadic is true breakdown the moral here and cause and effect as libya's rebels claim heavy gunfire and explosions in tripoli signal gadhafi is full is approaching some reports from the suggest it's just part of nato is planning to play havoc. in other stories that shape the past week a surge of violence in the middle east with fears of a deadly exchange of plywood tween israel and gaza might lead to the jewish state launching a new ground offensive. also bridgend fights back against recent riots with harsh sentences handed to even those who just thought about taking process with many saying the government's disproportionate response simply fueled public discontent. and as turmoil in global markets gathers pace following the u.s. credit status downgrade explores the credibility of rating agencies themselves on top stories this hour.