sorry. dynamics. this is r.t. from moscow it's coming over here this hour thanks to this let me take you through our top stories reports emerge from libya tonight of fierce fighting. in tripoli while gunfire as heard around the city itself as the country's leaders call for parties to negotiate. suggestions of cease fire denied to egypt reportedly to convince both gaza and israel to lay down arms off the days of heavy shelling. in top stories for us that made the news in the week the crackdown against english riot has gained momentum but harsh sentences handed to those who played cards in

the chaos she would rights groups say judges and politicians have gone too far. how do you leave the promise of a single economic government fails to reassure anxious investors of fresh trouble over greece once again threatens stability. investigation has become a hot button issue in american society with more than three women murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day next in the second part of our special report which takes to the very core of the problem. no one really wants to touch on the subject of abuse because everyone's like you know that's a family affair that's what we're in a husband and a life we're going to stay out of it we don't want nothing to do with it at all his cousins as brothers everyone around the house none of his friends came to our way they just laughed everyone just laughed but after. they just let him teach me. me when is enough and you know and god forbid i hate i would hate to say if i would

have stayed in a year longer i wouldn't be sitting here today tried a crappy day or sit in jail somewhere and that's just honest to god true if those around the two options that i saw at that moment either are going to kill him on me in jail or he's going to killing me it just spiraled to psych one thing after another it was like you know like i was in a black hole everything just start caving in on me everything that i thought that was going to be you know when i met him and other marriage was supposed to be when him and i knew we discussed our dating and our hopes and dreams and things that we wanted to do together everything just crumbled it was like a glass house you know ideas just throw one rock or should want to be the guide and then we'll just shafts if you don't care about yourself it doesn't matter it does not matter anymore it doesn't matter why are you here why are you living you don't want to live anymore you don't have self-love you know you don't want to live you

know that's why women commit suicide you know that's why women you know people go to drug abuse and alcohol abuse it's all about self love any type of uses about self-love not having self-love it's important because that's all that's going to child a situation is learning to love yourself again people think she should have been able to get out of it why couldn't she get out of it i would never want that. happened to me i'd just leave those are sort of those famous last words kind of statements because this is an extraordinarily complex issue there is nothing simple about being a victim of domestic violence that will take your children away oh make sure that no one ever speaks to you again oh ruin your reputation i'll make sure you leave with no money i mean all of these things when you hear them time after time after

time after time and he is a new time after time after time time when you work so hard you believe this you believe it with all your heart i made the decision that night to formulate a plan and that i would be out of there by the time my youngest son was ready for kindergarten which i had two years so i and i knew i had two years left of abuse before i could leave twenty two beatings and that two years there were violent episodes which would happen sporadically and of course every time i would try to convince myself thought last time and he would convince me this is never going to happen again and i thought last time. but they continue to happen so i thought it was something i was doing wrong i thought it was something i should fix it sounds kind of crazy but i want to quit or i wanted to make things work i wanted. i wanted to have a sixty year marriage like my family had and i always thought through thick and

thin meant through thick and thin and this is why they tell stories of prisoners of war that are actually kept captive with the doors open and no fences around the reason they don't leave is because the fear of what's going to happen if they try to is more overwhelming than staying there and taking the punishment it's a true story it's all part of the prisoner and it's all part of living the words on . well what we've really seen as a huge shift in policy to the way that we respond to intimate partner violence through the criminal justice system this largely came about in the beginning of the sixty's and into the seventy's and we're still refining this policy but really prior to this we've had a very hands off approach to incidents of domestic violence where the police were rarely called if they were called they were really mandated to do nothing the

police would show. they would need to call paul or they would separate the couple but then they would leave. and go and. so he's going to pull of the. you know can you take me away. sorry we didn't do it. so we're not allowed to just the burning bed is an interesting perspective because it brings about the idea that women will fight that are that when women are out at enough they're going to fight back. and today almost all of our states either have a mandatory or preferred arrest policy this mandates that police officers when there is probable cause will make an arrest when they are called to the scene of an alleged domestic violence case and we now provide essentially under the law equal protection regardless of gender and regardless of the relationship between the

offender and the victim i went to court to that award to. truly serve. these classes and this lady is for and for me personally. just my feelings and communication was the biggest challenge in our relationship which led to a lot of our arguments and thought learning how to share them i would have been in that same old rut we all come into that with the same mindset i don't belong in this class. and you know you just start like i said it's self assessing that kind of makes you look at yourself in a different light. is this the road you want to go to they really don't see the emotional damage that they have done in the relationship because you're teaching on a whole different thing as far as emotions and how to use you know the words about emotions not just anger i do identify that underlying emotion such as her and

frustrated and things like that or richard falls into that because when he first came. here he kind of minimized you know his actions and and spoke as you know it was just this that was just that you know when you hear them say just or i only you know those are the key words that you know you know that they're trying to minimize or justify and into their maybe in their mind they think yeah it was just that in this that however they don't realize the damage. we have to maintain the proper. and give it felice very loudly. and say stop and yell more until we have our health care system and waking up to the fact that we're going we need to look at prevention and root cause i think it's incredibly important that we start opening our eyes and asking the

question is. the worst case abuse that i had was a lady who came in actually. at a fractured arm one of the things that really raises my suspicion would be injuries inconsistent with how the patient reports they happened or maybe an enterprise response to an injury downplay. in the injury or over reacting to an injury what happened is that her significant other had basically broken her arm literally broke it and she was in a lot of pain. she didn't initially want to say that he did also kind of look at the relationship between the partners to see if it feels odd to you just kind of your human gut instinct just kind of trust your gut you

always have in the back of your mind could this patient be a victim of abuse we know that frequently these women may have several encounters with. health care agencies etc before they say that help and you just hope that your the one that makes the difference any time we have concerns we can call our social worker and they can work with our patients to help them access any services that they need we have a lot of patients and a lot of women who are in these relationships who do not want to tale that they're being abused because they're afraid that they have nowhere to go or no one that's going to help them and be out there by themselves there are opportunities for a patient to be alone for an exam such as x. ray i do not even accompany a patient to extra i without a lead get out there are times that we can ask the abuser to perform

a task for us to get a medication list or to get an insurance card or to make a phone call for the victim or something of that nature we also have security if we have great concerns that we are at risk of the patients at risk cetera we've got an act to our security clan sometime staff will just let me know that there are spike family violence and i just have to go in and meet with them and start to try to build a reporter with them and see how much the victim is willing to open. to me the scariest time for a victim is when they're leaving the abusive relationship and that's when the abuser can film as threatened and want to take ownership and show possession so that can be the most dangerous time for them and that's why we do safety planning here at the hospital prior to then when and even after returning to and he said relationship i think it would be a good thing to have manners towards screening for domestic violence always the were inundated with forms and paperwork when we see

a patient having this form is not going to slow down the process of treating a patient that much and it would be a good idea i think we can save lives and i think that if we try and to make this a more the nation and more of a court only open on the forefront to lead women know and educating our communities about domestic violence and i think it would really help to prevent it and help to decrease the prevalence of if patients don't know now that help exists. how can they be saved absolutely i think i have said largest ever. you know any women shopped around will tell you they're them they have special precautions about you know how women need to prepare in order to be able to leave

their house they are a safe place. for you ok right near the shelter because that answers the phone is first and foremost just there to listen and to kind of hear was the person is asking about you try to assess the situation and offer her the shelter and the services that we have and even if shelter is not what she's seeking or desiring or she's not thinking you know that she needs that or wants to come to the shelter we make sure she's aware of all the services through our outreach center and counseling and really encourage her to get some some help for what she's going throw suspicion place and i was thinking where i go or where i can be a neighbor emotionally and some of there is but they showed there is like a mother arms like thought east kimberley home bill for because he's not only a room i couldn't bear

a plate of food so much more her. prayers so guilty so. somebody came to us and say. oh warry. we get one of you and i you for we can help you. get out get out call the cops no matter what he tells you you can find safety you can find safety you can and you will find safety he will say anything he wants to anything he can to keep you under his style to keep you right where he wants you. so he can keep abusing you and it's only going to get worse so when you know where i think you are if got to make that step

take that step of faith that faith in yourself you may not believe it's i'm there but it's there it's there you'll find it and you'll find. a safety plan is a mechanism that is used to help an individual stay safe in their home they're working environment to help them stay safe when they are traveling or with their children. it is pretty comprehensive and it involves evaluating where the high risk points are a lot of people don't consider. which rooms have ways that they could exit if they needed to which players have items in there that could be used as weapons you know you would think well you might want to go there because there's a weapon you could use but typically that's not a good idea because the person is trying to hurt you could also use that as weapons entry into a place like a bathroom a lot of people would want to go there because it's small confined it feels safe

you can lock the door but in fact you can't really get out of a bathroom easily and so it would be a dead end and that person could once they get through that door seriously and. person you would want to have code words or something particular to communicate to your children when nine one one needs to be called inform neighbors and that there is something that they should keep their eyes peeled for because there might be an incident that you can't get to a phone but if they hear something they know it's a problem and also to identify a person where they could if they get out of the house where do they come from is there someone that's typically home is there someone that could help them in an emergency so those are the kinds of things that would be evaluated additionally traveling alone or independently is usually not a good idea and if someone does have to travel alone to vary that route whether

you're going to work or to the germ to to vary your routine so that it's not predictable to someone who knows you very well. but i think hospitals have a wonderful position to deal with this epidemic and i will wait with that. first of all my senses ben we've always been a catcher's mitt for society and what's going on were a safe haven for people and so the hospital itself is a place where people can feel safe and comfortable and the opportunity of hospitals to do assessment to do screening and then to offer opportunity for resources is something we have a great or. the prosecutors can't do it alone the police officers the doctors and the service providers cannot do it alone but if we all work together and work

together as a team to address every need in aspects of the victims situation then it is a game that we can win because when we work together we make a really form. dibble opponent is smarter than i am and just because you have degrees or you make a lot of money or you don't think you have a way out if you have no money there are support groups there are people that will help you find a way out. and anything any place is better. away from that environment if we could paint a picture of our brighter future one thing that we definitely have to do is we have to detach the stigma of domestic violence i think that there is this persona that domestic violence is what happens to other people it doesn't happen to normal people it doesn't happen to you know middle class people who go to their jobs and get educations and just live their lives but we know it and it happens everywhere

and people need to learn to speak out we need to empower women to ask for help to seek help when they're in these situations that we will believe them that there are places they can turn whether this are victim shelters or calling the police calling nine one one going to a trusted friend a neighbor the local clinic the hospital but how can we stop it before it happens or when we start that cycle how can we intervene in the middle of it that's when we're going to have a brighter picture of tomorrow it's going to continue to be a journey and not only for maybe for my children and perhaps for their children but we've got each other willing we are here together to to work through it so that. this was just going to destroy my life and destroy me and i had this turned around

to do something positive. and then some was stern. working with the shelters and serving up scholarships. and move on. because life is too short you just sort of the past windows to my so. it's a little bit of everything it's a mixture of you know my hopes my dreams my desires and. aspirations and my vision myself doing these separate binge you know i do believe in the concept of visualisation you know if you can see in you think. vision yourself doing something that's going to happen i surely will. i really really realize that you are a strong woman then you want someone who's going to encourage you and love you and make you want to pursue your dreams that's important it really is important so just get out move on you know it's better things are going to happen but you have in order to start something new you have to do away with the old you have to do with

the past and in order for a bit things to happen in your life you have to get rid of the bad first you know it's scary at first because you don't know what you're going to do it's ok it's ok it's ok to be confused it's ok to be angry it's ok to be scared but most importantly you're still alive to feel that way so that's important you at least you're still alive and you have another day to make a change but you have to start today. you have to i am now thirty five years old so it's been ten years since my experience everything is falling into place for me scary. scary. remember when we couldn't say with the word breast the shame attached to a woman going in and talking about breast cancer in our twenty years ago was terrible. you know so we've really got a lot of work to do to be able to be able to go in and talk openly and honestly about abuse so that women can hear that it's ok to talk about it so we can move

ahead like we have on breast cancer. to be wonderful i'm going to have to see that happen i think i am.

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morning news today violence is once again flared up the from these are the images go and seeing from the streets of canada. china operations are the day. to come. the opinion. be a.