which brightened. from fans to impression. starts on t.v. dot com. it's that weekly with the latest news that we can review russia accuses syrian rebels of fighting to bring down the un brokered peace plan as a shipment of smuggled for the opposition is intercepted by eleven and. nicolas sarkozy stands by his pledge to cut immigration after losing the first round of the french presidential election to socialist kind of good for. over twenty people are still being treated in hospitals in the ukrainian city of the nipple patrols after a series of bombs exploded there on friday leaving thirty injured. plus not

guilty british lie detector experts say the u.k.'s main suspect a russian m.p. was not involved in the murder of a former security officer alexander litvinenko in london six years ago. well that's it for me the news team for the moment he's next in the news continues in the meantime we have a special report that delves deep into the emotional trauma troops after their experience on the battlefield that's next. i am going on that at this moment on duty. to be a soldier was a very important thing in a young man's life and to be not just a soldier but to be a damn good soldier and to be in combat. in the fanout komi.

i managed to go that's where you belong. and that's the southerner in me in time of war that's where you belong. being me. i had left mississippi. probably due on my chill new year because of the anger i had to go it out i needed to get out of mississippi are probably would have said no and. i came up to you ben harbor michigan to work on the harvest and that work i couldn't do i couldn't make money at it so i came back and while i was in jackson i want to leave the adoption center there and signed i believe i believe. i have to say i am paying you to me. this is a cotton mill area there were five textile mills sure and i want to run for about

two months and looking for a job and finally. one of the old neighborhood greats had been around for years had for i get a job in the cotton mill. and i went straight to the army recruiter. how come you. mean i'm ready to go. by group and trailer park i grew up in a little small town called parent land texas near galveston i remember sitting on the couch and watching. the first gulf war. two hours ago allied air forces began an attack on military targets in iraq and kuwait and watching it on the television and seeing how quick that it went and the hoopla afterwards from the liberated features good boy also great to be an american i had felt that

we had lost the ghosts of vietnam. i remember sitting there on the couch said knight and thinking to myself you know you want to go into you know to go into the military. or got married on the thirtieth of december of ninety six if i so and i laugh on january third of one thousand six to six going to vietnam so why a guy spend mana moment in vietnam of all. we want from bomb taliban was worried there for what they call or a taishan period you know to get used to the climate and to actually get used to

the sounds of war. the first couple of weeks i was terrified ever not and after my first briefing i went back to my bed and i just could not sleep. all i could think i was going to be there going to shoot him in the course the next day nothing happened. and then. somewhere at about three or four weeks we had an operation where they had forty helicopters i was circling waiting on my turn to go in this l.z. or landing zone to put the combat assault in. and i heard the radio and the power of the one of the red flight said this is red lead were taken fire and all i could hear in the background was. now a try to relax and i try to forget about it and it would scare right by this

paralyzing kind of fear of knowing that i had to stop and. you have both hands full so your gut instinct is to try to. hide. but there's no place to hide you're looking through a clear plexiglas window at the surrounding little flashes and you know that people are shooting to dissipate they don't hit you. from that point. i think i realized that it is possible. that. we were a bunch of thirty guys in a two and a half ton truck put in as replacements. and we couldn't find the division.

we finally found it in the first thing they said to us when we got there i remember that why'd you take so there was no welcome. being a replacement which is the most god awful curse you can have on a human being. you're going to calm that you don't know anybody and they don't care about you and they were scared to death you were going to do something stupid and lift your it at the wrong time fire at the wrong time anything to attract fire that would get them killed. by january two thousand and three. i found myself sitting in the kuwaiti desert waiting to invade iraq. i told myself you know hey we're here to fight

a war this is it you know this is show time and this is what eleven years of training and you know has accumulated to my main goal was making sure that my men came home alive hello to me care about i had to say it but i didn't really care about anybody that was outside of my platoon. once we crossed into iraq we were roll into these towns like a bunch of cowboys shooting the place. we went into the rashid. it was an actual military compound it's a huge military compound we pulled in there was an abrams tank that was parked at one of the entrances. and i started asking me what was going on because there was

some demonstrators down the road and. i asked him if any of them at any weapons and he said no. and so why do you think that. you know they're going to stage a coup against a store anything like that and he said no they they're just down there said and you know chant and yell and i go behind my home beat and tear open an m.r.e. and all a sudden i hear a gunshot and i step out from behind mom b. . as soon as i step out from behind my humvee my marines are discharging their weapons and the demonstrators so on sling my weapon and i picked the stock up and. the butt of the rifle stock up on my shoulder and i start firing . and i'm hitting i'm hitting the demonstrators no i am. and of course i'm aiming at the head i mean. center mass but i don't know who called cease

fire oh no it was kind of like simultaneously we all just stop firing. the lieutenant he comes up to me and he goes what the hell happened. i don't know you tell me sir you're the lieutenant. i said i do know i heard a gunshot that went over our heads and i said did you hear he said yeah i heard yes it was the open fire. i don't know. where when we did the reconnaissance and as we're driving by. as we're driving by the bodies i'm looking down at the at the ground and not seeing any any weapons they were wearing traditional. jalapenos and. course they were soaked

in red with blood. now i thought to myself for a split second i said. you know these people didn't have any weapons we just shot at a bunch of the norm. protestors. and then a little voice and then your head goes off and this is well that's war. that's what happens in war. i just i'll be honest with you chalked it up. i really did i chalked it up as a you know. how did we know.

so on after we arrived in gucci we didn't know that we had built a basic out. these complex of toggles i'm so would lose people almost daily by sniper fire or at times of mortar fire. i felt that we had everything going against us where there was just the vietcong. the creatures of nature itself the snakes. they're spiders. and i know it's a different smile. it's. you in battle i know i've heard many people say you can't smell blood but to me that's

a lie. you can smell it. i remember early on i think it was. april. sixth the sixth we were out in noble woods and it was people in a rice feel that we didn't know what they were to add on the bike pajamas and so hats and we had an hour and in that show up here at that we were there i did everything in black pajamas was in a me so we opened fire on them. we were able to go and physically look at them and they had

no weapons and they looked to be teenage children young very young so you have that doubt in your mind when one reality hit you you know. what did i kill that i kill innocent kids i wasn't a call that base of course and that's never around said. look. we've . got experience of being fired is why i had to stop the rise on irving so i. asked to be transferred to the armed all cotton because they never stock they shoot rockets and machine guns. i don't think i really

thought about what your job was. but. at some point. you if you come upon a situation where you see people that you have to shoot. and you have a machine gun we call it goes on down because it looks like your conscious brain thanks seeing people move. and seeing women and children go into a house and being told that this is an enemy location you. have to aim at this building and you have to far be the rockets from machine guns and if you're far enough away it's still not quite like shooting people. but i think it presents a problem for most people if you think about taking

a gun and shooting since. most people can't. a soldier has to be trying to do it so. initially it was pretty tough i tried to. not see or. to hope that it didn't hit anybody or he only saw the building explode you didn't see the table. the day i got hit the weather was exactly like this it was cold it was there it was foggy was damp it was september in northern france. we left for done that morning we were to cross the moselle you were on one side of the river and you were being destroyed by artillery shells coming the other way.

i was digging a hole. in the dirt because we knew we were going to be attacked by artillery and i was had my shovel in my hand and inside me i was flying through the air like a huge huge sledgehammer that hit me and thrown me way into the air and i didn't know it as come back to the ground i went up. in a sudden and fell back. put my hand up and i felt a piece of some in my head and then i looked at my hands and they were just scarlet with blood and i looked at my back at my butt and my butt was the you could see the white fat in this huge hole and my but i remember i was lying there and. the medic came over and he tried to fix me up and he was leaning over me and i

watched the tip of his nose disappear a piece of shrapnel cut off the tip of his nose and then the blood from his nose merged with my nose. and the next thing i knew i was in a stretcher i still don't honk yet because i was still paralyzed on my right side and then i had the operation on my head and what i still remember i grit my teeth i didn't have any understudies you and they drilled with the drill to start taking all this stuff out and i can still remember it felt like i had put my head on a railroad track and the train had run over. what i remember is being treated with symbols enormous tenderness and.

sometime in may of six the stakes. neighborly general my kompany with santa. we were like can a pig swear we were to be it and the other cop unaids were converging and wiping the enemy out. there was a bright night you could. see long distances by them on we had been out for quite a while on this patrol and and saying anything so we relaxed all it wants something on stepped out of the bushes. and it startled him to see us there that startled me and. he was fired and i didn't have

my weapon was on the dye i'd call my way ok. so i managed to get. hangin a tough one will. cost a couple grenades. but i got. there and we could see as far as we could see there would be a kong that was common up to our parameter. and we called in for and direct fire and couldn't get it we called in for permission to return or we could get in because my company was getting overrun. so by commander told us to just try to find a place and spend the night. we took the marshy and he was on a one that was killed and one on a bomb crater and we sat there on i. eventually

mechanizing and it came in and we loaded it democracy on. his brains actually fell out and i and swore we all we were moving in. that still i still could but you know they were in them for a sudden and crater our night with him. but i did say it sounded hollow. but it was easier

to go back and kill that's part of what drove me. was very day and. sleep. sleep. sleep sleep. sleep. sleep sleep. sleep sleep. well some people loved and i loved on animals. dear mover sales bear whatever whatever suits their fancy.

but i can also tell you that there is no other feeling in the world that comes close to hunting another human being. that's what you're trying to do. the drawback to it is the fact that you want to do it again. because you enjoy it. it's almost like a drug and you become addicted to it but after a while like with any like with any addiction. you know series you're fired and you get that first burst of enjoyment. they don't last for so long and the high comes to a load after wears off if felt to me like everything was just muddy and dark waters feels like swimming you know in a big well we've referred to in the marine corps as a shit hole and. you find yourself.

looking forward to the next. mission or for combat role. you get all right if it's like oh. i don't know why you do it but it's first kill is same hard you should think about especially. if you have to kill that close quarters. it up and you know where i killed with. weapon i think.

my boys would build in our forty's people and i wanted to kill. i felt good at the time when i when i did it bother me if i. didn't get a chance to kill someone it went beyond answering the call of duty and it turned into something i said. that i hate that i had had growing up in the south i think had expanded. because of what was happening in vietnam because so knows and people. i feel i've become an animal i. feel no remorse.

i literally saw young men turn into psychopathic killers. but the great thing about the marine corps is the training process that the young men and women go through gives them all the ability to kill at least one time to put that warrior ethos in effect and then once you've done it. then it's on you. as so many things happen in a war that put you at odds with your sense of right and wrong. i've seen things that would be described as his war crimes. the sergeant who had the ring of yours who. is not

a secret i mean he's walking around with a big wiring with human ears pushed through the low been there all hanging on the ring these are people he has cut off their ears to try to get information. shooting civilians. you don't really call it it's not like you're shooting a scene. it's like. collateral damage.

in russia.