because they have to because the guinea pigs themselves can't do it anonymously that's all doped up i. know bill. are all. going to have to sort of. gauge just. as a person gets more work done with me thank him for the means. it's the scientific definition . this is a humane animal trap this is for a fairly small animal like a possum or or a cat a stray cat and i got it so that i could catch animals on the idea that i might eat them and i wanted to be ready to know how to

get food get meat on the table was because i had no money. over the age of forty five and that's the cutoff date for drug experiments when there's no money there's no money so you have to do something that doesn't cost anything. in my little world part of the complexity that i take a drug to help me continue my writing and research and i also have a lot of problems with the way the drug manufacturers go about their business and make from test of profits my work helps to address some of the contradictions in my life as a healing effect on the world i think in some modest degree and they are all of help me produce my writing. the relationship is not complicated to me

it just works this is it you can try. all the doctors that i was seeing do not stay on top of my drugs and it's a good thing that i too. am my own case manager. it's true. keeps me on nato's i can see all right now she would feel really strongly that she's doing the right thing of course a lot of the medicines she takes have the sort of us. always mitigating sometimes but not dealing really directly with the problem the system. so it seems to me a lot of. i did get hospitalized for poly pharmacy all kinds of weird drugs for

prescribe and i got very sick and had to be asked flies bet to two weeks to detox. and then they started me on a whole different part of the drugs i was watching it happen and sang to myself this doesn't seem right. especially when one of her doctors refused to see her and yet he was still giving her psychotropic drugs with not monitoring or with look who which i was in the person that was that was wrong. that's polypharmacy in that she. couldn't tolerate really not being arrested in the way what do you think about. what i did and actually this is not what i imagined i would be doing when i was in . my first impression of andre prison was

this looks like a concentration camp i don't know who i should be watching when i should be doing it i should be conducting myself i don't know how i made it there very overwhelming for a nineteen and twenty year old kid here. to be. in charge of weather summary of what's that and. i would never. act like i did i would read prison and normal life never ever the way it were using medicine there was to get at the prisoners and rake them down the side of treating people it was almost like we're punishing them for seeking treatment from us i mean when i'm ordered to give some a fourteen gauge needle. especially if they're not in a mass of trauma i know that that's not needed and i know that that's purely to

inflict and and those explicitly explained to me by the officer in charge as give these guys fourteen gauge needle also they won't want to be used anymore because they're so huge and they're so painful. usually the prisoners are crying and wailing and screaming that you're you know in the us. there's nothing to feel good about stick in fourteen years be in somebody for no good reason. take the one that's those people who are i'm sure there was other people who also felt the same way as i did but. a prisoner was not a place you spoke out against. i guess if i had a practices there was or. when

day and i had to he didn't leave much of a suicide note he simply wrote i leave his experience smiling that's all he wrote. you know doing it all over again i you know i don't know what i could've done differently i mean for heaven's sakes i didn't want him in the study it was not important at all how dan was chilling if it were important how he was doing that would have contacted me after we contacted them on good friday and said do we have to wait for him to kill himself and we did we had to wait for that i call the corner the monday after he died i said i wanted to see him and i remember her kind of yelling at me and saying. don't you know how he died. and i his head well evidently i had to hope. and i didn't you

know. when you find out your son kills himself you don't say what good do i. know i didn't know. but it wasn't a normal suicide. he slit his throat so badly that the car nurse office said young mr capitated himself. and then she said probably because he wasn't dying fast enough that he. let his abdomen open and. reach his hand inside and she said when they found him his one hand had the. box cutter frozen and that and the other hand was inside his abdomen up to his

wrists. and. you know i want people to know this is what the drugs to. afghan simply want to kill himself. he went to.

so clear what i do as a historian and as you look into the way the poor people have been exploited and for the lies that are used by. the people in power. and the people with money. this includes these people who are on the margins including. human guinea pigs. this is a history of that hasn't been told far away. and there are

a lot of stories that are important that haven't been brought to light and that haven't been explored. i think. i. meet people that are in psychiatric distress can especially benefit from the acute use of psychiatric medications i don't think we need to question that but you also have this whole other parts of society that is using slash abusing psychiatric

medication and you can put the medical field in there too because they're the enablers in the ninety's if you told a family practice doctor in ten years you will write a ton of prescriptions every month for atypical antipsychotics he might laugh at you now primary care writing a typical for and on therapy for depression anger management all d.d.'s anxiety disorders they're just being used for everything the market is being saturated with but most him. shortly by primary care of that. i think that's the most important thing that pharma has figured out. i'm tracking a case about a psychiatrist who claims that a major part of her job now is detox she has patients who come in a cocktail of medications from one primary care doctor who thinks he's an expert on bipolar disorder she gets the patient she says they're on all the wrong medications they're not bipolar they're depressed and then her job is to titrate the patient

off these medications and get him on perhaps one medication for depression and this is a future of psychiatry you could think about which is psychiatry is detox psychiatry more and more they're dealing with the poly pharmacy generated by primary care and in this case they asked the question their primary care doctor is writing all these atypical antipsychotics we have millions of people that are being prescribed psychiatric medications sometimes appropriate use but a large part of that population is being prescribed psychiatric medication where it may not be warranted or indicated but it's in demand. well. it's technology innovation all these developments from around russia we've gone to the future covered.

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america international airport in the very high. of moscow.

i think how the v.a. system is set up right now you don't have to be going to therapy to get the drugs prescribed the medication if you want therapy they filmed the entire session which is extremely uncomfortable and they have a set program for p.t.s.d. that just simply doesn't work there's really no continuity to your care because a lot of these guys are residents and you might see him once or twice and so they

don't know what you've even been on half the time so they try to give you the same drugs that have already failed for you p.t.s.d. is not a new thing it's been around forever and i think they should be a little slower to just hear drugs say i hope these work for you send you out the door and pursue even like alternate treatments that could work for people. my car. lot of people who do start is saying that right again. i mean i'm playing for that one chance that i might hit it big. just a money issue or i don't have the money or i. don't have enough. i

. could have passed that had a lot more issues gambling or would not pay my bills that i should. but i didn't have any support from my parents and i wouldn't have any support from anywhere else basically dropped out there and to a world that. made a lot of mistakes when i lost the really good job was a bus driver for a while. had a snowball to not carin. not make car payments. so eventually i ended up oh it's not a good time with my life. it's like one of those thirty days when say.

once you've experience homelessness you just never really get over it. that has been an issue you know us had rather go to vegas this way somebody just knowing that i can survive to the next that mystery. that i would ever dissipate not really sure where i. did a deadly illness. but. it's money i could afford of the. well let me go back to

austin. for my next. this scott pick of the with. so bad that i go through vegas is i do it or go to. history. you hear. hear the critic eat.

and it's been seven years more there as well and. i don't think there is a minute that goes by that i don't think i'm from. i haven't sasha's him some in here. just seems like in my heart. that means that he and. i mean. any of the.

polls birth. name experience you know i was lost and that's when i first found this and. it saved my life. that the me just recently passed away. so if you can't because all the corrupt things he does on help if he has been given is coming to me he's going to get it you know this is that's it that's the way forgiveness a law is one of the got to be able you know. i mean i feel her that he called her us to believe that those tests as was safe you see through her that he did it for the sake of money. a law heals wombs. you know you need it. i just pray for health. thank you prayer for the medicine and so that it's doing its job.

and i can get a bring with us. and

head up. bill collector. it's a good thing that your story would have the whole weaponry pile right here. and that's the way it's done. every game now i wish it was the mentally ill. it's the pits.

that's recently. deceased.

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