and i want to be ready to know how to get food get me down the table was because i had no money. over the age of forty five and that's the cutoff date for drug experiments when there's no money there's no money so i have to do something that doesn't cost anything. in my little world part of the complexity that i take a drug to help me continue my writing and research and also have a lot of problems with the way the drug manufacturers go about their business and make front tested profits my work helps to address some of the contradictions in my life as a healing effect on the world i think and some modest the gry and they are all of help me produce my writing. the relationship is not complicated to me

it just works this is the educated trial all the chargers that i was seeing do not stand at major leagues and it's a good thing that i. am my own case manager. it's true. keeps me on nato's i can see her right now she would feel really strongly that she's doing the right thing of course a lot of the medicine she takes to have these sort of things. always mitigating sometimes but not dealing really directly with the problem in this instance. so it seems to me along that. they did get hospitalized for probably pharmacy all kinds of drugs for prescribe and i got very sick and had to be asked flies that two

weeks to detox. and then they started me on a whole different part of the drugs i was watching happen and sang to myself this doesn't seem right. especially when one of her doctors refused to see her and yet he was still giving her psychotropic drugs but not monitoring them with a bullet which i was in the press and that was that was wrong. that's polypharmacy in that she. couldn't tolerate really not being arrested way what do you think about. what i did and i actually this is not what i imagined i would be done when i was in . my first impression of andre prison was

this looks like a concentration camp i don't know who i should be watching when i should be doing it i should be conducting myself i don't know how i made it there very overwhelming for a night you're going your own. you're going. to be. in charge of whether somebody that lives or dies. i would never. act like i did i would get prison and normal life never ever the way it were using medicine there was to get out the prisoners and rake them down the side of treating people it was almost like we're punishing them for seeking treatment from us i mean when i'm ordered to give somebody a fourteen gauge needle. especially if they're not in a mass of trauma i know that that's not needed and i know that that's purely to

inflict pain and that was explicitly explained to me by the officer in charge as give these guys fourteen gauge needle so they won't want to be is in the mornings are so huge and they're so painful. usually the prisoners are crying and wailing and screaming natural you know in the us. there's nothing to feel good about stick in fourteen years have been somebody for no good reason. take the one that says people in or i'm sure there was other people who also felt the same way as i did but. prison was not a place you spoke out against. against certain type of practices there was or.

when de and i had he didn't leave much of a suicide note he simply wrote i leave his experience smiling that's all he wrote. you know doing it all over again i you know i don't know what i could've done differently i mean for heaven's sakes i didn't want him in the study it was not important at all how dan was chilling if it were important how he was doing that would have contacted me after we contacted them on good friday and said do we have to wait for him to kill himself and we did we had to wait for that i call the corner the monday after he died i said i wanted to see him and i remember her kind of feeling at me and saying. don't you know how he died. and i his head well evidently i had to hope. and i didn't you

know. when you find out your son kills himself you don't say what good do i know i didn't know. but it wasn't a normal suicide. he slit his throat so badly that the car nurse office said young mr capitated himself. and then she said probably because he wasn't dying fast enough that he. let his abdomen open and. reached his hand inside and said when they found him his one hand had the. box cutter frozen and that and the other hand was inside his abdomen up to his

wrists. and. you know i want people to know this is what the drugs to. afghan simply want to kill himself. he went down to.

so. what i do as a historian is look into the way the poor people have been exploited and brutalized and abused by. the people in power. and the people with money. this includes these people who are on the margins including. human guinea pigs. this is a history of that hasn't been told farley enough and there are a lot of stories that are important that haven't been brought to light and that

haven't been explored. i think if. i. meet people that are in psychiatric distress can especially benefit from the acute use of psychiatric medications i don't think we need to question that but you also have this whole other parts of society that is using slash abusing psychiatric medication and you can put the medical field in there too because they're the

enablers in the ninety's if you told a family practice doctor in ten years you will write a ton of prescriptions every month for atypical antipsychotics they might laugh at you now primary care writing a typical for add on therapy for depression anger management all the anxiety disorders they're just being used for everything the market is being saturated with but most important my primary care at that. i think that's the most important thing that pharma has figured out. i'm tracking a case about a psychiatrist who claims that a major part of her job now is detox she has patients who come in a cocktail of medications from one primary care doctor who thinks he's an expert on bipolar disorder she gets the patients she says they're on all the wrong medications they're not bipolar they're depressed and then her job is to titrate the patient off these medications and get him on perhaps one medication for

depression and this is a future of psychiatry you could think about which is psychiatry is detox psychiatry more and more they're dealing with the poly pharmacy generated by primary care and in this case they asked the question their primary care doctor is writing all these atypical nic comics we have millions of people that are being prescribed psychiatric medications sometimes appropriate use but a large part of that population is being prescribed psychiatric medication where it may not be warranted or indicated. but it's and to me. is is trash to get rid of. but it's also a treasure. worth fighting for. and

a trap with no way out. to least be told language such. as programs and documentaries in arabic it's all here on all t.v. reporting from the world talks books the v.o.i.p. interviews intriguing story for you yes. it's been trying all te arabic to find out more visit arabic don't all teach dog called. cut.

indeed.

international airport in the very heart of moscow. i think how the v.a. system is set up right now you don't have to be going to therapy to get the drugs prescribe you the medication if you want therapy they filmed the entire session

which is extremely uncomfortable and they have a set program for p.t.s.d. that just simply doesn't work there's really no continuity to your care because a lot is guys are residents and you might see him once or twice and so they don't know what you've even been on half the time so they try to give you the same drugs that have already failed for you know p.t.s.d. is not a new thing it's been around forever and i think they should be a little slower to just hear engine drugs say i hope these work for you send you out the door and pursue even like alternate treatments that could work for people. bar. lot of people who do start is saying they're right again. i mean i'm playing for

that one chance that i might hit it big. just a money issue either i don't have the money or i. don't have enough. i . could have passed and had a lot more issues gambling or would not pay my bills that i should have. but i didn't have any support from my parents and i wouldn't have any support from anywhere else basically dropped out there and to the world and. made a lot of mistakes well that's the really good job was a bus driver for a while. had

a snowball to not carin. not make car payments. so eventually i ended up this news not a good time with my life. it's like one of those thirty days when say. once you've experienced homelessness you just never really get over it. that has been an issue us had rather go to vegas this way somebody just knowing that i can survive to the next that history. never ever dissipate not really sure where i.

did a downhill spiral. but. it's money i could afford of the. well let me go back to austin. for my next. this scott pick of them with. her dad when i go through vegas is a doubter go to. the streets.

to hear and. hear the crack. and it's been seven years more there as well and. i don't think there is a minute because by that i don't think come from. i have a stash. behind him some in here. yes he was right in my heart.

when he said he. i mean the. polls where was the. name experience you know i was lost and that's when i first found this and. it saved my life. that because he just recently passed away got arrested so if he can't because all the corrupt things he sends his own help if he has been given is coming to me he's going to get it you know this is that's it that's the way forgiveness a law is the one you've got to give him you know. i mean i feel her that he called her us to believe that those tests as was safe you see through her that he did it for the sake of money. alone hills rooms.

you know need to. pray for help. thank you prayer for the medicine and suddenly it's doing its job. and i can get a green with us. and

had love. bill collector. so. it's a good thing that you can register i would have a horrible weapon in the pile right here.

and that's the way it's done. every game now i wish it was the mentally ill. it's the pits. it's research. this research.

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