your birth. yeah my. work you. see when making art here she can see if she said let's take this color and make it a bit softer let's not make it so saccharin it was beautiful i mean look like you

i mean your graphic what looks very confident but there was no scholar and now this skull looks like a mosque when i first saw it i was terrified and at the same time impressed my eyes are the only part of my face that's left and there are no i mean your proportions are still there you go the proportions right. these are the figures i might. as a symbol of love on the cross and she's been crucified on him. part of should he has rights you need a couple more times like this one here you want to have them along the hairline just to merge the hair in the skin better that you didn't see it and i think you can use the same time down there on the sides or both sides of the face as a shadow.

rewards anyone could end up in a situation where they become a criminal. anyone can be in the situation where they suffer from mental disorders . any person could be in our place. i want to sort out my feelings. i've just started figuring this out i want to really figure it all out so this never happens and i never come back erica. my brother find myself to be and. the very difficult to talk to yourself. if i were able to go back to make the person i was five years ago and explain anything to you. wouldn't understand. what needs this hospital was set up in one thousand nine hundred eighty one

president are suffering from mental disorders who have committed serious groups seventy or eighty percent have committed violent crimes like homicide rape or grievous bodily harm. we have patients with schizophrenia epilepsy organic brain syndrome and mental disorders resulting from alcoholism or mental disability your person doesn't understand what's going on and commits a group. so we work with them until they do realize that they are all good and when they hear voices as to where they should go and see a doctor would rather than pick up an axe and kill somebody if you quit your. money she got most of our patients all go to the same ward at first and then we separate them based on their condition just as with the ward has small rooms and it's mostly for patients who are aggressive or prone to escaping by meeting them.

i got up late today. being shy. and. i killed this guy called. after that it happened we then went to my friend's place he said do you know that we have three dead bodies. i yelled what do you mean i was high what do you mean. well there was this maga guy two more what do you mean two more i asked he said yeah we killed them. i still don't understand how i could have killed them i know i killed. and i said in court that i killed. but when i saw the photos we burned the house down to.

only myself only thought about myself. i have a mental illness the treatment was serious i couldn't stop my hands from shaking they had to spoon feed me. take my mom for example imagine someone like me just breaking into her house and stop stop stop they would lock him up and he would just sit there on his bunk carefree something we can change the past i'm not saying i've totally changed but i'm a good person now it's only the beginning i'm just starting to smooth the edges i'm starting to come out of this and see that i can actually achieve something you know and i will have to support my mom at some point. what can we achieve through art therapy at least they can start drawing this will help them analyze them selves

a little bit and relax at the same time they can be one on one with themselves and with their drawings and emotion is like a battery without these batteries are patients don't want to do anything there are some who are already in a state where they just want to stay in bed and don't want to do anything it's what they did to them. there's a mentally retarded patients who learn how to live in the streets and i think that if a person is suffering he has to be helped. in nine hundred eighty nine i was totally insane. i had no money. money to drugs. once i stole a huge icon that was three hundred years old. someone was going to pay me a lot of money for it. but i was so scared. i knew that i had to give it away for free. i ran into a church and asked them to take it from me. couldn't keep hold of it anymore. three

months later i went back to the church it was easter. the head priest wasn't there so i talked to his assistant. i asked him if he knew about the i call them that i brought to the church. i wanted to know where he was and if i could say that. he said show you can see him. my mom once jokingly said that i've been conceived by the devil. has become an obsession with who i was constantly thinking about being the devil's offspring. it was schizophrenia. i learnt that the devil could fly into a church. but spirit. would not let him into the sanctuary. the priest told me that the icon was in the sanctuary and that i could go and see. that was the first time i felt free from this cus of being conceived by the devils q.

how do we call mentally ill people but soon patients sick people's you create mad men psychos once acceptable and once on except. the by trying to talk about their victims or relatives of the victims or their crime has i used the term problematic people at that and. problematic mainly for themselves. and my final goal is to treat them humanely still i want them to realize they're human . how can you socialize business how can you be a normal person and consider yourself a normal person if nobody treats you like an old person it's a vicious circle. myself so when i first started my own therapy course with them i had no previous experience with these kinds of people continue to do so should just

i saw people with tattoos they were scary and maybe about time i was afraid you'll see by and. by started talking to them about perspective so i would draw something simple so you assume the left us results just shocks me as each one of the injury himself and the missiles they were supposed to draw the person sitting all this at the moment but there was no resemblance everyone was drawing themselves to him but i try my best not to offend them. because you know artists can easily be heard to be able i still remember that my professors would often hurt me. just full of course when or stand that our are patients. quite dangerous. our society treat them of course we should be on alert but there's no way to cure

someone who is aggressive and potentially dangerous we should at least hold them in an institution and protect society this is also very important for every six months we gather committee examiner patients and determine whether they are still a danger to society. move many patients know that their complaints of recruitment isn't over. and they need to stay in a hospital in the mission when they take our meetings calmly but of course most of them hope to get out of here just. like he was his name is rush eat he's been in the hospital since september two thousand and nine this is the second hearing in short the seven cerebral trauma in his childhood has been having seizures since he was fourteen and had been under observation since then he was in prison for twelve years. as he's off i was born in one thousand fifty three with no

home yes we know you sit down please sit down and we've met before. now ok. how long have you been staying here this time three a half years how long enough yes three an obvious ok has there been any progress progress well everything's ok you know what was wrong with your nervous system and your mentality my mentality is fine. because you have any questions for the committee i want to get out of here please discharge me i beg you all each one of you please discharge me. all right we'll discuss it. yeah i'm against is challenging him he's not just mentally ill he's a criminal. he's committed so many crimes great robbery grievous bodily harm

last name you can i mean hasn't recognized his illness he has no self-criticism or self-control or while he's physically strong he'll be coming back to us i'm not special and i don't think he can be discharged and. i agree i think we should keep him here in our hospital. i. gave.

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it's just that i have always compressed him yesterday to his social place to play ball for the. limit. to. sleep. oh yeah. he says he was cut demand to know your score a. score or two from nothing more your style than it

is to speak to me for shit think. that's all you and i got here. so you see yourself if. you really would you you know he was the we have you so well it was a way for sure. that . this is an open war all rooms are permanently unlocked and that's of cricket smoking is only allowed in the specially designated areas because you can see the patients aren't allowed to keep any sharp items elka hall is forbidden to get their

allowed to serve the internet but only in the presence of a counselor or therapist and is generally advisable not to tell them what they're not allowed to do is useful when you know it's better to tell them what they can do which may be pretty much figured out the rules from themselves. no because the medical staff are often exposed to aggression but then depends on what you see as aggression what you might call verbal abuse is not uncommon with patients as an obscene adays or threats against the step which from most of our patients are hard to tell from sane people from the look of them but sometimes a disorder may manifest itself through some sort of weird behavior. i've gotten used to looking at them as simply people you know that isn't hard i like my job and . the

in. the board. ob. dr been here a pretty long time since two thousand and six and one day some three or four months ago i'm walking down the street and i bump into a nurse from another ward and she says ok so you're still here as many of your friends are checked in around the same time as you have long been discharged and i tell her no i'm here for a long time and i think to myself i'm not ready i'm not ready i'm just beginning to understand. i don't want to just say mom i'm sorry

i want to earn her forgiveness i want to prove myself so that people will start telling my mom natasha we are proud of your son. you understand i want my former junkie friends to look at me and say wow that guy was one of us but now. moved on he's accomplished some things to you. were allowed one phone call a month and i call my mom and every time she sounds a bit different a bit older i'm shaking all over afterwards and mom comes to visit me here and i count every line on her face i gave her those notes and i see myself and heard she looks at me affectionately but they are tears in her eyes and that's because of me and so i absorb all of this as an artist and i'm consumed by an inner struggle the virtues and vices battling inside me words.

at first i lost sleep with and then i was beginning to get lost within an imaginary world that was all around me. it was absolutely unreal. and there was no place in it for other people. i had a feeling of impunity of my own significance and superiority to absolutely anyone including people nature in society anything. but my environment at the time of the certainly has something to do with it i was julie pretty naive at that age. somebody suggested to me once you're such a genius so why don't you try making drugs. so i synthesized and better means at age fourteen. it was just a matter of knowledge skill and practice i could produce practically any substance and almost no touch with reality encapsulated within a world of my own people and nothing to me there was just a sense of me. and so it happened that

they committed four murders. three of those cases were just junkies. i gave them a lethal injection while they thought that they were getting high. but the fourth one was violent i stab someone. that's how high i was already i mean i thought i was high but in reality i was going down sinking into the abyss but with you i was immersed in madness. and that was a scary scary state of mind you know you don't want to ever find yourself in such a realm of insanity there's just the cold and the darkness. my mom sent me a photograph she said their having a silver anniversary with dad. so i started thinking of something to paint for them i decided to paint a full length portrait of my parents on this campus. you're. so here's my head.

this is my ear and there inside my head my mom here is like a rose this leaf here is my younger brother i'm the elder brother so i'm protecting our little sister and this is mom with the ring my dad is the chief. and this is me a small creator in a dark world and i want to create a colorful world for them. paint you could paint a black square and she just say my son did this. sometimes i feel like i have a grievance against the creator. even now i ask him why why is it that i never had any love. is now i know where my disease comes from the same as my crimes and my alcohol and drug addiction. it all springs from me not being ever

since i was a child. when i know it sounds quite scary basically but there was a time when it overwhelms me like this i love the world in general but i hate everyone individually that i did to find my life i'm an anonymous alcoholic and an anonymous drug addict i know what addiction is but my illness feels greater than any of that drugs you have to find alcohol you have to drink but that doesn't require anything. like a rainbow you get a surge of energy it gives you such a rush you don't even need to take anything to get beautiful my so. i can do anything. your business i admit that i'm sick. i acknowledged the gravity of my crimes.

and i spent twenty years incarcerated and every time we got in i seen i couldn't understand why what's happened. now i feel like a baby who's just being born. because it was only now discovering love kindness. forty five i only just realised what love for my father as you can now really you know. yes i feel his love for. this patient comes across as an almost totally same person but he's a very good actor we is psychiatry can see that in fact he is very emotionally distant his facial expression is a mobile although he speaks according to classic standards of literary language but

those who suffer from schizophrenia typically have no speaking disorder in other words schizophrenia implies a dissociated entity a schism of the mind but only someone who is very intelligent can become a schizo frantic please remember that all of these people receive treatment but outside the hospital as a rule they're pretty much beyond any control they don't take any medication prescribed to them at all or stop taking them after some times. yes. i look forward to her every visit when she talks to me on the phone i tell her not to come but when she's here it feels so good so wonderful to give her a hug. but

when she leaves the sadness the pain starts again. you just drift around with nothing to do. makes her sad as well how long a shipping coming here she does everything just to be able to see me. but for a whole long list last. i've told her so many times to stop coming to i'm upset that it takes her so long in the past she had to take the train to get here. hello. my little boy this is for you five roses as there are five of us in the family. so your mum loves you so much i brought you presents. and let mom see them.

i painted this picture for you. this is for a silver anniversary here dad is that. it's like a crossword puzzle right and i'm the rose. this is. and this is probably you. here in the dark a little creator. time will tell. you that i'm ready and he'll do what's right. even when you apologize to someone or to all of society you have to be prepared for them to. believe you. if the committee should take place tomorrow i'm ready for it for any of them. but there are certain circumstances and situations with my medical cases very complicated and so is my illness.

the most important committee is up there. whatever he decides is what will be. every detail. every piece of metal. and every one of those who wrote step on red square on the ninth of may are ready. for the victory day parade. watch the live coverage on our t.v. . speak your language. programs and documentaries in arabic in school here on the. reporting from the

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is why you should care only. that. i live. good speech. her. mother posts. her. home out of my mind i'm

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