this is for headaches this is for sleep this is a tranquilizer too if i have any episodes xanax would cause a blackout substance it's not just. the kind of which is pretty nightmare because. you can't get off of it. and vilified it is kind of you to do for me because sometimes i have episodes where i won't be able to. i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working more or less. like seventy two hours just so exhausted. and i can take and build. a show out or. often thank you very much i go right to free j u k b i could've made a lot more money out of it if i wanted to i just it depends on what we're doing and

to. be kept saying i knew that there were rebuilding iraq you're working to rebuild iraq. i was kind of sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like bark each other about one say. things are going good you know the horrible things they are iraq and i kind of way to see it for myself you know. i joined the military when i was a teenager nineteen in basic training. like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any human beings . i certainly interested. asking this one question are you willing to do your job if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail. you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like they're basically enslaving me here i

have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using my camera to do that real quick. on this is one of the girls and it's her towel and. one boy they don't know where one of the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me becoming so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that

struggle you're going on that shuttle yeah and one of my going to what i'm going to call my mom in tow and i'm struggling with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean. well.

i just had my first last december and she went to the c. section and panic she was frightful but i was completely. crying when he was born i was just completely like. kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot of. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frighten me the most. if i've killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore.

it's harder but i am happy that i get to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know if i wasn't from a dog. but here i was. no i just turned nineteen in the picture and i was. just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for

a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any thing exploding behind him. you mean every. year on here. this is a wreath that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c u from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one.

first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people are suicidal thoughts you know. he talks a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the worst kind of ramble on and i let him ramble. i was and. you know. it.

is. whatever. he leaves again this summer and there will be a second plane and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you ever feel the record and i still think. you need to do that before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change it any minute you can go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat savor. from. here close. your gloves.

give your breath if. you. get. there and for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the d. fact which is the cafeteria and he. is hard some. mornings like this. i'm sorry. it's. not easy morning and usually. or it may not or in the middle of the day. just he's so busy right now where the training schedule.

in getting ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on him. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would have got part of him here with me.

little boys. girls. cohesion. some with direction normal teenage. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing them and intact and yes i want to cry sorry because they. have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that

maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think for all my kids so. it's. i i. i. i. i. twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. the same thing that you were given badges for over in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you

know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy. a mission. accreditation three. four judges three arrangement three. three stooges i freeze. and see blog as a lot of videos for your media projects a freebie audio dadar t.

dot com. player. now has a new alert animation scripts scare me a little ill there is breaking news tonight and we are continuing to follow the breaking news eve live alexander's family cry tears of joy at a great things out there that had the added regard in a court of law found alive is a story made for a movie is playing out in real life. look

. i won't go more than thirty minutes or something about our. luck tollers. here the roadside bombs i said twelve of them. are showing. be

a whole lot of times. when an idea goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it when it hit our vehicle. back to this war i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before and you know i'm realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot i think two more before. before my driver grabbed me and he said would be doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were

there. this one is my grandfather in vietnam it was a pilot bosnia was six months. my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months and this was an interesting one from the from mr. and me i'm oldest boy who is now. and. mom or somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army retired up that's the reason. i

have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution took weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. and it's from the stuff i've gone through for the stuff i've done and i are. how serious is the beef we go to live in the institution producers. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people

when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital you know how do you know are you getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i. am not happy most of the time. so it's going to drive down the road here and i'm the first person i saw that looked happy in this. oh i was going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death.

or. yes. i don't go places. where we turn or stick to those house or our family that's a. cave that i'm familiar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church.

down to us to have my gun on me yeah i did it. in church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike while the most vulnerable target which would be a church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me. the worst one for me was cleaning up other people's brains. i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're holding

a piece of someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married remember that you're holding the peace that . that that was them being soldiers and that's that's the worst for me. because all i want to you boil it down all this arrest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clap or a handshake in the airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been around because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man and we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling

a gun. and. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's not manly. i don't let myself become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get really. people.

do i would i do that no. yeah. temptation's there are. way and you know.

a. mole zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of the world for our nation and those of you go look i'm sure they are not forgotten. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much. and we know why. we're going to do our nation has made the world a plane and i'll have a citizen of this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice . i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and

our families have provided a point you will recall that no one nation. so you feel part of this nation and our military service members. only known as this horrible war. monger who don't need your help. but friends as i am walking out. of the four vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of the heroes we honor. freedom. it is. no worry about me. but i'm over there are going to be thinking what might happen afterwards. and i'm scared by what the after masses suffer.

after after will come after us was called after. her.

los i was a new alert animation scripts scare me a little bit. leave it there is breaking news tonight and they are continuing to follow the breaking news making. alexander's family cry tears of joy at great things other than. the ever regard in a court of law thrown to our lives there's a story made sort of movies playing out in real life. it will be. serious technology innovations all the list of elements from

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