and bill for it is kind of you to go out for me because sometimes i have episodes for i won't be able to. i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working for a little. like seventy two hours just so exhausted. and i can take and build. a show out or. something i mean what i don't like the phrase that you gave me i could have made a lot more money out of it if i wanted to i just it depends on what we're doing and . they kept saying on the news that there were rebuilding iraq you're working to rebuild iraq. i was kind of sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like barky each other about one say oh it's. you know the horrible things they are i and i kind of way to see it for myself you know. i joined the military when i was

a teenager nineteen in basic training. like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any any human beings. i certainly ager said. ask him this one question are you willing to do your job if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail you know to be so like i came to conclusion like they're basically in slavery we hear i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town. one boy they don't know where the other bullet a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury. it

was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me that killing so. if you're in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that shuttle yeah and one of my going to well i'm going to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean.

well. i just had my first and last december and she went to the c. section and panic she was frightful but i was completely calm. so i don't cry when he was born i was just completely like. kind of like i had to get

a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot of. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frightened me the most. if i killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore. it's harder but i am happy that i had to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so

i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know from a dog. but you know i was. ny just turned nineteen in the picture and i was young i just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland and he's able to just breathe and not worry about any day exploding behind him. yeah. you. get. there.

this is a wreath that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c. use from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one. first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people with suicidal thoughts you know. he talks

a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the words kind of ramble on and i let him ramble. and i was going. you know. and whatever. he leaves again this summer and there will be a second plane and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. good universal kick up in levels and record and i still think.

you need if you have before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change at any minute even go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat saver. from. your clothes. your gloves. gear your breath. all you can. get. and for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the de fact which is

the cafeteria. is hard some. mornings like this. i'm sorry. it's. not even morning and usually. or it may. or in the middle of the day. just he's so busy right now where the train schedule. and getting ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on em. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would

have that part of him here with me. little boys. girls. some with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great

pride in knowing their intention yes now i want to cry sorry because they. they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think my kids. this. is.

twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird to have running around in your head. in the morning you know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy.

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been a lifetime of work along the mysteries of the skull check it all out on technology we've got the future covered. you know how sometimes you see a story and it seems so you think you understand it and then you glimpse something else and you hear or see some other part of it and realize everything you thought you don't know i'm tom hartman welcome to the big picture. please. more news today violence is once again flared up leaf in these are the images her world has been seeing from the streets of canada. shining corporations are all today please. please.

i won't go more than three minutes without saying about our rights. it's always there. you hear the roadside bombs i've had twelve of them. arsenal in my vehicle all times. when an id goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it went to hit our vehicle. activists for i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before any of them realized what was going on and they started

running from us and i shot frank two more before. before my driver grabbed me and he said what are you doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one is my grandfather in vietnam he was a pilot bosnia was six months. my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year a trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months this was a stream which is to. me i'm oldest boy whose mom. and. mom are somebody. i'm very proud of that i have been in the military

i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people. and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army retired up that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution took weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. . and it's from the stuff i've gone through for the stuff i've done and iraq. how serious it is to be before you go to mental institution producers.

all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital. so how do you know you're getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i. am not happy most of the time. so are going to drive down the road here and find the first person i saw that

looked happy in the house as. far as going to start with i'm. going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death . or. yes. i don't go places. where you return or stick to those house or our family that's

a. cave that i'm familiar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church. down though i still have my gun on me yeah i do the. church. because a radical person where they're likely to strike. well the most vulnerable target which would be the church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me.

the worst one for me was cleaning out other people's brains. and i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're hauling in pieces someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married i remember that you're holding a piece that. and that that was them being soldiers don't know and that's the that's the worst for me. because all i want to own you boil it down all this arrest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clapper and shake in the airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been around because the

wives just don't understand it and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man and we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's not manly. i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con i want to upset like at the world and

i just don't trust people at all. i get really. people. do what i do that no i am i tend to yeah. the temptations their.

way and you know. a. mole. oh and. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of the world for our nation and those books i'm sure they are not forgot. about remember those who have sacrificed so much

freedom and will fight. we're going to do our nation has made the world a favor and i'll have a son who's the no this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and their families how come i didn't appoint you don't recall that no other nation. the particle just nation and our military service members. places. i'm only known as normal. in your town. but friends is all i am walking out and normally it is more for vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of the heroes we are going to. feel what. it is.

no worry about me. but i'm over there and i can be thinking what might have been asked is. i don't care if i was after asses so i. did after after will come after i was called after.

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a little tentative angles keep the stories. you hear. the spanish find out more visit. sigrid laboratory was able to build a most sophisticated robot which all unfortunately doesn't give a darn about anything tim's mission to teach the creation why it should care about humans. is why you should care only.

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whistleblower edward snowden sitting tight in transit of the moscow airport confirms what amir buton dismissing conspiracy theories of u.s. officials as nonsense. he while the u.s. is trying to throw the world off prison sentence saying it's fine project only targets terrorists on social networks and i phones but doubts emerge of extremists use them in the first place. air bones economics the u.k. chancellor has more bad news in store for the british public set to lay out his plans to slash another eleven point five billion pounds from government budgets.