i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working for less. for like seventy two hours just so exhausted and. i can take and build. a show out or. something i very much. like the fridge that you gave me i could've made a lot more money out of it if i wanted to i just it depends on what we're doing and to. be kept saying on the news that there were rebuilding iraq you're working to rebuild iraq. i was kind of sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like barking each other about one say oh it's. you know the horrible things they are iraq and i kind of wait to see it for myself you know. join the military when i was a teenager nineteen in basic training. like

halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any human beings . i certainly. ask them is one question are you willing to do your job if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like they're basically in slavery we here i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town. one boy they don't know where the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury. it was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who

a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me the killing so . if you're in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that shuttle yeah and one of my going to well i'm going to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean.

i just had my first and last december and she went. panic she was frightful but i was completely. crying when he was born i was just completely like. war mode kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should have cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot. and from all the

combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frightened me the most. if i killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore. it's harder but i am happy that i had to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know it wasn't from a dog. but yeah i was. ny just

turned nineteen in the picture and i was here just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any thing exploding behind him. you mean. you're. here. this is a brief that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call

a see you from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one. first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people a suicidal thoughts you know. he talks a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the words kind of ramble on and i let him ramble.

and i was and. you know. and jim was. this. is just. one of them. and. he leaves again this summer that will be a second deployment and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you ever think if i can almost make it a mistake then that. interview out before he leaves. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change at any minute he can go to

afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat savor. from. here close. your gloves. give your breath. there's air in for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the fact which is the cafeteria. is hard some. mornings like this.

i'm sorry. it's. not easy for me and usually. or in my. order in the middle of the day. just he's so busy right now where the train schedule. and give you ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on him. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would have that part of him here with me.

little boys. girls. some with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing their intention yes now i want to cry sorry

because. they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think for all my kids. this. is the.

twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy.

as that of edward snowden a whistle blowing hero to millions around the world washington calls him a very dangerous security liability and a threat whatever is stage one thing appears to be clear still being justifies his actions in the name of transparency and the need to have a public debate on the surveillance state in that regard as he succeeded. say. download the official ati up location to your cell phone choose your language stream quality and enjoy your favorites from alzheimer's if you're away from your television and call it just doesn't matter how would your mobile device if you

could watch ati any time anyway.

i won't go more than three minutes without saying about iraq's. it's always. here the roadside bombs i've had twelve of them. partially my vehicle twelve times . when an id goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it went to hit our vehicle. cartridges for our heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot

a shot three people before any of them realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot frank two more before. before my driver grabbed me and he said what he doing. and. that snapped me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one as my grandfather in vietnam he was a pilot i was an analyst six months. my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year the trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months this was a dream. is to. me i'm oldest boy whose mom.

and. mom are somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army retired up it's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution took weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. and it's from the stuff i've gone through for the stuff i've done and iraq. how

serious just because we go to live in the institution the producers. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive off and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital how do you know you're getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had

a problem with people being happy because i. am not happy most of the time. so are all going to drive down the road here and find the first person i saw that looked happy in the house as. far as going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death. or. yes.

i don't go places. where you return or stick to those house or our family that's a. cave that i'm familiar built. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church. down to us to have my gun on me but i do the. church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike while the most vulnerable target which would be the church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me.

the worst one for me was cleaning up other people's brains. and i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're hauling in pieces someone's memory from their kit or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married remember that you're holding a piece that. and that that was them being soldiers and that's it that's the worst for me. because all i want to own you boil it down all this arrest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you

a clapper and shake an airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been run because the wise just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's not manly.

i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get really. people. do it when i do that no. and i tend to yeah. the temptations there are half.

way and you know. they. love. a. mole. oh and. i'm honored to

be here today today in the presence of the world for our nation and those who do good work i'm sure they are not forgotten. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much. and we'll fight. for foreigners to our nation has made a world of i'll have a citizen of this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and their families how come i didn't appoint you don't recall that no one nation. since the heart of this nation and our military service members in. places. i'm only known as normal. and your town. but friends is not i am walking out. a bit more for vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of the heroes we

honor. freedom. it is. no worry about me. but i'm over that matter to be from jim what might have been asked is. i don't care if it was the after masses suck. it after after will come after us was called after.

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edward snowden remains in moscow for now sitting tight in an airport transit zone after live near putin rejected all u.s. threats and demands for the whistleblower to be extradited. meanwhile washington accused of trying to shoot the messenger by presenting snowden as a dangerous spy while ignoring fallout from the revelation of its surveillance program. make sure we all. get. to those at the bottom of british society though who are really bearing the burden of the austerity is the chancellor announces billions more in budget cuts.