mirror is cheaper than therapy. on our. screens id this is for headaches this is for sleep this is a tranquilizer too if i have any episodes xanax could cause a blackout substance it's not just. the kind of which is present nightmare because . you can't get off of it. and vilified it is kind of you to try kilometers from a because sometimes i have episodes where i won't be able to. i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working. for like seventy two hours just so exhausted. and i can take and build. a show out for them. often thank you very much. like the fridge you gave me i could have made a lot more money out of it if i wanted to i just it depends on what we're doing and

. they kept saying on the news that there were rebuilding iraq you're working to rebuild iraq. i was kind of sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like bark each other about once a. know the horrible things they are i kind of way to see it for myself you know. i joined the military when i was a teenager nineteen in basic training. like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any human beings. i certainly. asking this one question are you willing to do your job. if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like they're basically enslaving me here i

have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town. one boy they don't know where one of the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me becoming so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that

struggle you're going on that struggle yeah and one of my going to when i got to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean. well.

i just had my first last december and she went to the c. section and panic she was frightful but i was completely. crying when he was born i was just completely like. war mode kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot of. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frightened me the most. if i killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore.

it's harder but i am happy that i had to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not easy lifestyle. and i have family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know from a dog. but yeah i was. no i just turned nineteen in the picture and i was you know just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for

a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any thing exploding behind him. you mean every. year. this is a wreath that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c u from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one.

first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people a suicidal thoughts you know. he talks a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the words kind of ramble on and i let him ramble. i was and. you know. this.

is. one of them. and. he leaves again this summer and that will be a second glance and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you a result you fucking levels in regard to mr king. if you have before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change at any minute he can go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat saver. and. you're close. you're one of those.

give your breath. now for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the de fact which is the cafeteria. is hard some. mornings like this. i'm sorry. it's. not easy morning and usually. or it may. or in the middle of it. just he's so busy right now where the train schedule.

and getting ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on him. i want the baby before he deployed because if something were to happen god forbid i would have got part of him here with me. being the.

little boys. girls. with direction normal teenage. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing them and intact and yes i want to cry sorry because. they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that

maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think for all my kids. this. if. i. twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. to the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you

know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy. as the worst you are going to say. why how sick of a. radio guy. what. to do did you ever seen anything like this i'm cold.

looking for celebrity gossip in the field that while we won't find it here if you're looking for relevant stories unique perspectives on top class tends to antarctica. is it possible to navigate the economy with all the details such as direction misinformation and media hype so keep you up to date by decoding the mainstream status if in your mind.

i would rather as questions for people in positions of power instead of speaking on their behalf and that's why you can find my show larry king now right here on r.t. question more.

along more three minutes without saying about. it's always there. you hear the roadside bombs i've had twelve of them. partially my vehicle twelve times. when an id goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it when it hit our vehicle. like it is war i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before any of them realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot i think two more before.

before my driver grabbed me and he said look he doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one is my grandfather in vietnam he was a pilot bosnia was six months. and my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year a trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months this was an interesting i'm from mr. and me and my oldest boy who is now. and. the mom are somebody i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but

however good people do get hurt and i've heard good people and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army or part up that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution took weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. . and it's from the stuff i've gone through for the stuff i've done and iraq. how serious just before you go to live the institution producers. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there

except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital. you know how do you know are you getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i. am not happy most of the time. so i was going to drive down the road here and find the first person i saw that looked at him as. i was going to start with them.

i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death. yes. i don't go places. where you return or stick to those house or our family that's a. cave that i'm familiar building. the church is

one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church. down the us to have my gun on me yeah i do. church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike while the most vulnerable target which would be a church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me. the worst one for me was cleaning out other people's brains. eric

i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're holding a piece of someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married remember that you're holding the peace that . that was them being soldiers and that's that's the worse for me. because all i want to you boil it down all this the rest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clap or a handshake in the airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been around because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you

know their husband gets home and they think well the husband's going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man and we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or sad or anything ever it's not manly. i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get

really. starts telling people to . do what i do that no. and i tend to. the temptations their.

way and you know. a. mole. oh no. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of the world for our nation and those of you go look i'm sure they are not forgotten. about remember those who have sacrificed so much. and we'll fight. for me through our nation has made

a world of pain i'll have a son the son of this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and their families how come i didn't appoint you don't recall that no other nation. does the heart of this nation and our military service members. places. i'm only known as normal. in your town. but friends is not i am walking out and morning a bit more for vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of the heroes we are going to. feel what. it is.

no worry about me. but i'm over there are going to be thinking of me at the nastiest so. i don't care if it was after asses some of. it after after will come after us was called after.

yes that was a new alert animation scripts scare me a little bit the elite elite there is breaking news tonight and they are continuing to follow the breaking news of the lead. alexander's family cry tears of the wife and in great things other that there has to be other will render in a court of law. on lines this is a story many sort of movie is playing out in real life.

was. american whistleblower edward snowden remains stuck in the transit zone of a moscow airport is rushing human rights activists urge president putin to help the fugitive. despite snowden's revelations on britain's spying operations the u.k. financial chief announces a. funding for the country's intelligence agencies in the name of fighting global terrorism. and the u.s. support for africa and washington's minute aid in the region overshadow barack obama's visit to his father's native continent.