terry was a teenager nineteen in basic training. like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any any human beings. i start major said. ask him this one question are you willing to do your job if i was a say no it would have been like oh this guy's being insubordinate throw in jail you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like they're basically enslaving me here i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town one boy they don't know where the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it

was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me the killing so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that shuttle yeah and one of my going to when i got to call my mom in tow i don't struggle with that stuff i would be bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean.

i just had my first last december and she went to the c. section and panic she was frightful but i was completely. i think crying when he was born i was just completely like. war mode kind of like i had to

get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot of. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frighten me the most. to where if i killed the enemy. i don't feel it anymore. it's harder but i am happy that i get to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so

i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know it wasn't from a dog. but here i was. no i just turned nineteen in the picture and i was here just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any thing exploding behind him. you know. you're. here.

this is a reef that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c. use from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from another deployment i want to make another one. first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people a suicidal thoughts you know. he talks

a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the worst kind of ramble on and i let him ramble. in a listening. a. you know. yes. there is. a lot of them. and. he leaves again this summer and that will be a second deployment and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you ever feel sick i can almost see richard and i still think that.

you need to do that before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change it any minute you can go to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat savor. your clothes. you're one of us. here your breath. now for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the fact which is

the cafeteria. is hard some. mornings like this. i'm sorry. it's. not even morning and usually. or it may. or in the middle of the day. just he's so busy right now where the training schedule. and getting ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on him. she . i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would

have got part of him here with me. being the. little boys. girls. some with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter

you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing them and interacting yes i want to cry sorry because. they have extremely good intentions in defending freedom. on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think my kids. this. is i. i i. i i. i.

twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. just the same thing that you were given badges for in iraq you know you would have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy.

i. get up sometimes you see a story and it seems so you think you understand it and then you glimpse something else you hear or see some other part of it and realize everything you thought you knew you don't know i'm trying hard welcomes a big picture. use your language call it a kilo in the financial center say sell some of. the concerns get a. chance to opinions that invigorating book. club choose the stories that in life choose the access to your office.

play. have you got it.

i won't go more than three minutes without saying about iraq it's. always. here the roadside bombs i've had twelve of them. partially my vehicle twelve times . when an id goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when it went to hit our vehicle. activists for i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good he wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot a shot three people before any of them i was what was going on and they started

running from us and i shot thank two more before. before my driver grabbed me and he said would be doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was shooting at people because they were there. this one is my grandfather in vietnam it was a pilot i was an analyst six months. my first trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year the trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months and this was a stream. is to. me i'm oldest boy whose mom.

and. mom are somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people. and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army retired cop that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution took weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. and it's from the stuff i've gone through the stuff i've done and iraq. how serious is the beef we go to live in the institution the producers.

all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital you know how do you know are you getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i had i'm not happy most of the time.

so are we going to drive down the road here and find the first person i saw that looked happy in this. oh i was going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beaten the death. or. yes.

i don't go places. where you return or stick to those house or our family that's a. case that i'm familiar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church. down to us to have my gun on me yeah i do the. church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike while the most vulnerable target which would be the church because i would have an entire profession in charge nobody but me.

the worst one for me was cleaning out other people's brains. and i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're hauling in pieces someone's memory from their kit or. you don't know if you're holding a piece of their members being married remember that you're holding a piece that. and that that was them being soldiers done and that's it that's the worst for me. because all i want to own you boil it down all this arrest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clapper and shake an airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts

a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been ruined because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of the kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever it's not manly. i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get

a little upset i get stage five def-con i want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get really. people. do it when i do that no. and i tend to yeah. the temptation is there.

way and you know. they. love. a. mole oh and. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of those who are nation and

those who do good work i'm sure they are not forgotten. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much freedom and will fight. for most of our nation has made a world of pain i'll have a son the son of this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and their families have provided a point little freedom that no one nation well. this is the part of this nation and our military service them. only known as normal. in your town. but princes know i am walking out and her. for vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of

the heroes we are going to. feel what. it is. no worry about me. but i'm over there are going to be thinking what might happen after. i don't care what the after masses suffer. after after will come after us was called after.

the day is the perfect material it's a lie you make just a small. and you get a totally different result. what a pretty top knot you have. this is a little complicated. it's like geometry we start by marking out the incision lines as a guide. it's very intricate work where my life has changed one hundred percent. from

the field operating table here. just a very small table as long as i had a flashlight and a working battery and i had a good enough environment to work it. was among them along with some other terrorist leaders. as if he's reminiscing about the past. looking at you at the same time he's somewhere else. when i watch this. doesn't feel like me at all and. it's someone totally different someone i don't know. download the official. yourself choose your language stream quality and enjoy your favorites. if you're away from your television just doesn't matter now with your mobile device you can watch on t.v.

any time anywhere. secret laboratory tim curry was able to build a most sophisticated robot which fortunately. found anything tombs mission to teach me the creation and why it should care about humans and. this is why you should care only. mother look over.

a. little mission. critical should three hours for chargers free. three. three stooges three little gold free blog videos for your media project a free media r t v dot com. i've . i've

. played. can grant asylum to the one on the run and whistle blower and word snowden while he's not on it so well the n.s.a. leaker remains holed up in a moscow airport. led to the heels of snowden's revelations about britain's huge phone and online tapping it turns out the u.k. police are secretly monitoring social networks on a daily basis. and egyptian military bracing itself for mass rallies with the opposition preparing to take to the streets to found its anger at president morsi who's about to mark his first year in the top job.