awesomely much more to do what was right and i salute them reading out evil is no wrong deed but that's just my opinion. this is for headaches this is for sleep this is a tranquilizer too if i have any episodes xanax would cause blackouts and it's not just. struck me kind of which is pretty nightmare because. i can't get off of it. and bill for it is kind of teach you to try coauthors for me because sometimes i have episodes where i won't be able to. i think something will trigger me and which i'll just keep on working and working and working or live. like seventy two hours just so exhausted. and i can take and build. a show out or. something i very much. like the free j

u k b i could have made a lot more money out of it i wanted to just it depends on what we're doing and. they kept saying on the news that there were rebuilding iraq you're working to rebuild iraq. i was sick of hearing c.n.n. and fox news like bark each other about once a. know the horrible things they are iraq and i kind of way to see it for myself you know. i joined the military when i was a teenager nineteen in basic training. like halfway through my tour i told my unit that i was willing to kill any human beings. i certainly interested. asking this one question are you willing to do your job if i was

a say no it would have been like oh this guy's be insubordinate throw in jail. you know i mean so like i came to conclusion like there basically is slavery we here i have to say yes you know i'm actually walking the town with a rifle but instead of using the camera. this is one of the girls and it's her town one boy it they don't know where one of the other bullet hit a little girl on the shoulder and she ended up dying from that shoulder injury it was the last leg bit a happiness i had i was who a breaking point i was i was you know near suicidal yeah. and during that period they saw me to a chaplain i sat and talked to a chaplain for about two hours and he tried to basically convince me that killing

so thank. you for your in that situation where you're having that struggle you're going on that show i will yeah and one of my going to when i got a call my mom in tow and i was struggling with that stuff i was bawling her eyes out you know i mean like who am i going to talk to about it you know i mean. well.

i just had my first last december and she went. panic she was frightful but i was completely calm. so i don't cry when he was born i was just completely like. kind of like i had to get a mission. maybe i should've cried to my dad told me i would but my dad hasn't seen the things i have seen a lot. and from all the combat i've seen soldiers that i've lost over time it gets easier that's the thing that frightened me the most. if i killed the enemy. i don't

feel it anymore. it's harder but i am happy that i had to be an army wife because not a lot of people get to do it it's definitely a privilege and an honor being married to someone he serves the country so. it's not an easy lifestyle. and i had family members who were in the military so i knew he was going to be gone i knew i was going to be home alone a lot you know if i wasn't from a dog. but here i was. no i just turned nineteen in the picture and i was you know just graduated college. went off to get married. this was the day he came home i did these on my phone so

they're kind of blurry but this was when he came home it was just he kind of just wanted to sit for a minute and just like i think soak in the fact that he's not there anymore he's back in the mainland he's able to just breathe and not worry about any thing exploding behind him. you know. you're. here. this is a reef that i made when my husband came home from deployment the material that you see here is what they call a c u from their uniforms. he wore these were actually his pants and he wore them in iraq so when he came home i just thought it was kind of symbolic just to make this wreaths you know to show he made it home so next time he comes home from

another deployment i want to make another one. first time when he came back it was it was scary. there was a lot of rage there's a lot of anger a lot of hurt and. he drank a lot. my husband used to be one of those people are suicidal thoughts you know. he talks a lot when he's drunk and he'll talk about the worst kind of ramble on and i lot of ramble. it was anything. so.

you know. if. whatever. he leaves again this summer that will be a second plane and he's gone for anywhere from twelve to fifteen months at a time. did you ever feel kicked up in levels and record and still think. if you had before you leave. we know for sure he's going to iraq. that can change at any minute even going to afghanistan and kind of hoping he stays in iraq it's safer somewhat saver. from. your

clothes. your gloves. gear your breath. all of you and you. and i are in for breakfast i was about and i usually make him breakfast in the morning but he got home kind of late today so he's probably going to go to the fact which is the cafeteria and he. is hard some. mornings like this. i'm sorry. it's. not easy morning and usually. or it may. or in the

middle of the day. just he's so busy or you know where the training schedule. and getting ready to leave so he's got a lot of stress on em. i want a baby before he deployed speakers if something were to happen god forbid i would have got part of him here with me.

little boys. girls. some with direction normal teenage thing. i see people trying to find their way and a very wicked world. it's like leading the lambs to slaughter you know they don't know. do i admire them and respect them and have great pride in knowing their intention yes now i want to cry sorry because they. have extremely good intentions in defending freedom.

on our respect generations that america was founded on but i think that maybe they're slightly this. so how it's hard for me it's hard as a mother you know because i think my kids so. it's. twenty two years old. and i must kill thirty people. to the same thing that you were given badges for over in iraq you know you would

have you considered a serial killer over here and that's you know that's a very weird thought to have running around in your head. in the morning you know it's very easy to sort of think bright happy thoughts and sort of put a correct kind of. spin on it but when it's dark. going to sleep or late at night or tired it's not as easy.

i would rather ask questions for people in positions of power instead of speak on their behalf and that's why you can find my feel larry king now. right here on r.t. question more. download the official cation to yourself choose your language stream quality and enjoy your favorite. if you're away from your television just doesn't matter now with your mobile device you can watch on t.v. anytime anywhere. what's happened to the arab spring dream to egypt's first freely elected president bring any change fear poverty economic failure and filings remain to egypt's

attempts to escape chaos leaving wallowing even deeper. egypt year in chaos. a long three minutes without thinking about iraq. it's always there. bombs. partially not be careful times. the night he goes off you react in ways you think are right at the moment. and when

it when it hit our vehicle. arcturus for i heard my gunner start firing which to me means he had a target my gunner was very good at it wouldn't make that mistake. and i jumped out of the vehicle and i shot. i shot three people before idiom realized what was going on and they started running from us and i shot frank two more before. before my driver grabbed me he said would be doing. and. that's not me out of it now realize that i was just shooting at people because they were there. this one is my grandfather in vietnam he was a pilot bosnia was six months. my first

trip to iraq was only six months so that's a year my second trip to iraq was a year the trip to afghanistan was a year my last trip was fifteen months this was a stream from mr. and me i'm oldest boy who is now. and. a mom or somebody. i'm very proud that i have been in the military i'm proud that i've been to war but however good people do get hurt and i've hurt good people. and. there's a reason i'm getting out of the army retired up that's the reason. i have a. chronic p.t.s.d. post-traumatic stress disorder. to be honest with you i just got out of a mental institution

a couple weeks ago. i was there for thirty days. to help me with my p.t.s.d. . and it's from the stuff i've gone through the stuff i've done and i are. how serious it is to be before you go to live in the institution britishers. all the people in that place with me they were all military. everybody else there except me had tried to kill themselves i was getting ready to go kill other people when you get ready. to get in my car and drive up and start killing people. instead i grabbed my wife and we drove up to the hospital. how do you know you you're getting ready to kill people. because the thoughts just kept going through

my mind and i was making my plan. at the time it was i had a problem with people being happy because i. am not happy most of the time. so going to dr tomorrow here i'm a first person i saw that looked at me in this. i was going to start with them. i was either going to shoot them but i doubt that i probably would have just beat them to death.

yes. i don't go places. where you really can't stick to those house or our family that's a. cave that unfamiliar building. the church is one place i don't feel i have any symptoms. from both the church. down to us to have my gun on me yeah i do the. church. because i'm a radical person where they're likely to strike. while the most

vulnerable target which would be a church because i would have an h.r. professional in charge nobody but me. the worst one for me was cleaning up other people's brains. eric i can deal with shattered human remains like pick up someone's heart. the brains are different because it's. you don't know if you're holding a piece of someone's memory from their kid or. you don't know if you're holding a piece their members being married remember that you're holding a piece that. and that that was them being soldiers and

that's that's the worst for me because all i want to you boil it down all this the rest of this is nothing but meat and bone and. but people don't want to have conversations about that they want to buy you a beer and give you a clap or a handshake in the airport and be on their merry way you know. it puts a strain on my marriage for sure. a lot of marriages have been around because the watch just don't understand and don't have the capability of understanding and you know their husband gets home and they think well the husband going to help me discipline the kids and take care of kids but he end up with three kids and a grown ass man and we've been in the corner drunk off as cradling a gun. no one teaches anybody how to deal with it you know and it also gets back to the in the military it's the john wayne mentality of if you don't show emotion you know allowed to admit that you're sad or upset or anything ever

it's not manly. i don't let myself to become upset because when i do i don't get a little upset i get stage five def-con want to upset like at the world and i just don't trust people at all. i get really. people. do it when i do that no. and i tend to. temptations their.

way and you know. they. love.

a. mole zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero zero. i'm honored to be here today today in the presence of those who are nation and those who do good work i'm sure they are not forgotten. about remembrance for those who have sacrificed so much. and we'll fight. for foreigners through our nation has made the world a favor and i'll have a son is the hope this great nation the opportunity to enjoy the fruits of my sacrifice. i can think of nothing more honorable confirming your nation. our military and their families how come i didn't appoint people we don't know what their nation well. the particle just nation and our military service members.

i'm only known as this horrible war. monger who don't need your town. but friends as i am walking out and morning good morning for vietnam afghanistan and iraq and because of the bravery and sacrifices of the heroes we honor. freedom. it is. no worry about me. but i'm over there are going to be thinking what might have been asked is. unfair as was the after masses stuff. that after after will come after us was called after.

the civilized world produces more food. other countries.

millions of victims every year. where a meal is the most. flood or droughts to blame. a bad year for the train. we couldn't see anything but. there was great hunger. is it that help comes too late and with good intentions. charity diplomacy and business.

luck. luck. live. live live.

live . the to. please. me. i'm.

the week's top stories here. the fugitive whistleblower edward snowden america's foremost cia man tested diplomatic relations with all countries involved in his global movements. latest revelations point to a massive u.s. nuclear operation targeting even situations in brussels and washington and the united nations in new york. the president faces a tough challenge to his leadership with angry set to flood the streets on the first anniversary of his inauguration after a week of deadly writing by rival political factions. in the first of a much anticipated edition to russia's navy set sail for france in a joint project expected to revise.